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Allibone,  Susan,  1813-1854 
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A    LIFE 


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SUSAN   ALLIBONE. 


CHIEFLY    COMPILED    FROM 


HER  DIARY  AND  LETTERS. 


BY 


ALFRED    LEE, 

BISHOP    OF   THE   PROTESTANT   EPISCOPAL    CHURCH   IN   DELAWARE. 


"To  be  spiritually  minded  is  life  and  peace.'' 


PHILADELPHIA : 

J.  B.   LIPPING  OTT    &    CO. 

1856. 


Entered,  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1855,  by 

ALFRED    LEE, 

in  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  United  States  for  the  District 
of  Delaware. 


PREFACE. 


To  those  who  enjoyed  the  privilege  of  acquaintance 
with  the  suhject  of  this  Memoir,  it  would  be  superfluous 
to  adduce  reasons  for  its  publication.  Among  them,  it  is 
believed,  there  is  no  difference  of  opinion  as  to  the  advan- 
tage and  duty  of  giving  to  the  community  as  full  a  delinea- 
tion of  her  life  and  labors,  as  the  materials  which  are 
accessible  can  supply.  While  her  life  was  that  of  a 
retired  invalid,  the  grace  of  God  which  was  in  her  could 
not  be  hid,  but  was  productive  of  such  abundant  and 
blessed  fruits,  that  she  became,  in  her  own  city  and 
vicinity,  extensively  known  —  so  far  known,  indeed,  and 
loved,  and  honored,  as  to  awaken  a  very  general  and 
earnest  desire  for  a  memorial  like  the  present.  The 
author  has  complied  with  the  request  to  prepare  the 
sketch  for  the  public  eye,  with  unfeigned  reluctance, 
sensible  of  his  inability,  amid  other  numerous  and  press- 
ing engagements,  to  do  it  justice.  But  the  task  itself 
appeared  attractive  in  prospect,  and  has  proved  delightful 
in  execution.  lie  can  only  express  the  hope  that  the 
reader  may  find  as  much  pleasure  and  edification  in  the 
perusal,  as   he   has   found  in   the   preparation.     It   has 

1  *  (iii) 


iv  PREFACE. 

seemed  to  him  that  it  could  not  but  he  seasonable  and 
profitable,  in  a  daj-  like  this,  when  superfi^cial  religion  is 
widely  prevalent,  to  present  to  the  disciples  of  Christ  such 
an  exhibition  of  profound  and  living  piety  —  of  warm, 
spiritual  affections  —  of  delight  in  God —  of  fixed  princi- 
ple—  of  outflowing,  expansive  love — of  a  "conversation 
in  heaven."  It  will,  he  trusts,  encourage  the  heart  and 
strengthen  the  faith  of  many  a  weak  and  timid  believer, 
to  witness  such  effects  of  divine  grace,  and  such  a  mani- 
festation of  the  love  and  power  of  Christ  to  them  that 
trust  in  Him.  And  to  those  who,  like  Susan  Allibone, 
are  cut  ofi"  from  the  enjoyments  of  health,  and  confined 
to  the  couch  of  languishing,  this  illustration  of  the  in- 
fluences of  the  Spirit  compensating  for  every  privation, 
and  causing  the  tortured  invalid  to  rejoice  with  joy  un- 
speakable and  full  of  glory,  is  commended,  in  the  hope 
that  it  may  lead  them  to  the  same  unfailing  source  of 
peace  and  happiness.  Her  example  shows  what  the  Gos- 
pel is  worth  to  the  sufiierer  who  embraces  it  in  simplicity 
and  sincerity  —  the  Gospel  —  and  nothing  beside.  The 
truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus  proved,  in  her  case,  its  divine 
energy  —  its  heaven-derived  power  to  comfort,  elevate 
and  sanctify  the  soul.  And  well  would  it  be,  if  some  of 
those  who  are  searching  for  truth  in  the  mazes  of  human 
speculation,  or  who  are  clinging  to  those  delusions  of  self- 
righteousness  and  formalism,  respecting  which  she  has 
recorded  her  emphatic  condemnation,  might  be  led  to 
recognise,  in  her  experience  and  character,  the  value  of 
those  scriptural  and  evangelical  principles  which  were 
dearer  to  her  than  life.     This  biography,  it  is  hoped,  will 


PREFACE.  V 

also  show  how  much  may  be  done  for  the  glory  of  the 
Redeemer,  and  the  salvation  of  immortal  souls,  even  under 
circumstances  seemingly  depressing  and  adverse,  by  the 
Christian  who  enters  into  the  reality  and  preciousness  of 
the  doctrines  which  he  professes. 

Only  wishing  that  this  work  had  been  entrusted  to  a 
more  competent  hand,  it  is  now  submitted  to  those  who 
feel  an  interest  in  the  manifestations  of  practical  Chris- 
tianity as  an  humble  attempt  to  portray  the  character  and 
influence  — 

1.  Of  a  true  wovian  —  one  who,  while  gifted  with  great 
mental  energy,  ever  exhibited  the  delicacy,  tenderness  and 
refinement  of  her  sex. 

2.  Of  a  true  friend  —  who  constantly  gave  the  best 
proofs  of  affection  by  faithful  admonitions  and  fervent  in- 
tercessions. 

3.  Of  a  true  Episcopalian  —  who  fully  appreciated  and 
happily  exemplified  the  fervent,  elevated  and  charitable 
spirit  of  the  Church  of  her  choice. 

4.  Of  a  true  believer — to  whom  "faith  was  the  sub- 
stance of  things  hoped  for,  and  the  evidence  of  things  not 
seen." 

5.  Of  a  true  disciple  of  Jesus  Christ  —  who  sat  meekly 
at  His  feet,  imbibed  His  Spirit,  lived  His  religion,  and 
glorified  His  name. 

Wilmington,  Del., 
Dec.  1th,  1855. 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER    I.  — A. D.  1813— 1832. 

Introduction  —  Birth  —  Maternal  Influence  —  School  Days  —  Love 
of  Study  — Partiality  for  Poetry  — Works  of  Fiction  —  Later 
Judoiment Page  15 


CHAPTER    II.  — A.D.  1833. 

First  Religious  Impressions  —  Discouragement — Conversion  —  Dr. 
Bedell's  Ministry  —  First  Approach  to  the  Lord's  Table  —  Con- 
firmation —  Love  for  the  Episcopal  Church  and  Liturgy  — 
Catholic  Spirit  —  St.  Andrew's,  Philadelphia  —  Evangelical 
Views 21 


CHAPTER    IIL  — A.D.  1833. 

Ill-Health  —  Fortitude  and  Submission  —  Letters  to  Suffering 
Friends  —  Efforts  to  do  Good  —  Enjoyment  of  the  Beauties  of 
Nature  —  Temora  —  Dr.  Bedell's  Illness  —  Birth-day  Reflec- 
tions     36 


CHAPTER    IV.  —  A.  D.  1833. 

Solicitudes  for  others  —  Wide  and  Lasting  Results  —  The  Chris- 
tian in  her  Family  —  Letters  to  a  Sister  —  Close  of  the  Year 52 

(vii) 


Vm  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER    v.  — A. D.  1834. 


Increased    Illness  —  Apprehended    nearness   of  Death  —  Impres- 
sions of  a  Work  to  be  done  —  Eleven  weeks'  Confinement 64 


CHAPTER   VI.  — A.D.  1834. 

Convictions  of  Duty — Letter  of  Encouragement — Assurance  — 
Enjoyment  of  Christian  Biography —  Love  for  Society  of  Chris- 
tians—  Delight  in  the  Law  of  God  —  Interest  in  the  Church  — 
Letter  to  an  Enquirer — Dr.Bedell's  Death — Funeral  Sermon — • 
Religious  Souvenir 


CHAPTER    VIL  — A.D.  1835. 

Expediency  of  Diaries  —  Characteristics  of  the  present  Diary  — 
Visits  to  the  sick — Vernal  Beauties  —  Letter  to  her  Mother  — 
Grief  at  profanation  of  the  Sabbath  —  Bishop  Moore  —  Ro- 
manism—  New  Pastor  —  His  Institution  —  Rev.  Mr.  Clark's 
Sermons 126 


CHAPTER  VIIL— A.D.  1836. 

Serenity  in  Prospect  of  Death  —  New-Year  Thoughts  —  Prayer  for 
Guidance  in  Efforts  for  the  Good  of  Others — Domestic  Enjoy- 
ment—  Letter  to  a  Unitarian  —  Letter  to  a  Sister  on  Baptism — ■ 
Visit  to  Princeton  —  Letter  to  a  Sister  commencing  a  Christian 
Life  —  Visit  to  Cape  May  —  Letters  of  Dr.  Clark  —  Temora  — 
Letter  on  Christian  Activity 150 


CHAPTER    IX.  — A.D.  1837. 

Office  of  Sponsor  —  Letter  to  a  Sister  after  Baptism  — Feelings  at 
witnessing  Confirmation  —  Visit  to  a  Dying  Believer  —  Bucks 
County  —  Letter  alluding  to  her  Sufferings  —  Feelings  at  the 
prevalence  of  Depravity  —  Spiritual  Ignorance  and  Destitution 
—  Buchanan's  Memoir  —  Dr.  Clark's  lU-IIealth  and  Leave- 
taking— Close  of  1837 185 


CONTENTS.  IX 

CHAPTER    X.  —  A.  D.  1838. 

Counsels  to  Enquirers  —  Clear  views  of  Truth  —  Letter  of  En- 
couragement—  Interest  in  Accessions  to  the  Church  —  Season 
of  Lent  —  Jewish  Rabbi  —  Letters  to  a  young  Christian  —  To 
Rev.  J.  A.  Clark  —  Interest  in  her  Orphan  Cousins  —  Solici- 
tude for  the  Church  —  The  General  Convention  —  Tranquillity 
in  Danger 212 

CHAPTER    XL— A.D.  1839. 

Commencement  of  the  New  Year  —  Christian  Intercourse  —  EiGforts 
Blessed  —  Mr.  L.'s  last  moments — Visit  to  Princeton  — Antici- 
pations of  Heaven  —  Last  Letter  to  her  Mother  —  Happiness  in 
her  Family  —  Her  Mother's  Illness  and  Death  —  Narrative  in 
Miss  AUibone's  Diary  —  Letters  to  her  Sister  and  Cousin  — 
Correspondence  with  Rev.  J.  A.  Clark  —  Conflagration — Visit 
from  J.  J.  Gurney 236 

CHAPTER    XIL  — A.D.  1840— 1842. 

Effect  of  the  shock  upon  Miss  AUibone's  Health  —  Spiritual  Peace 
her  sole  Support  —  Prostration  —  Intermission  of  Writing  —  Dr. 
Clark's  Letters  —  The  Easter  of  the  Universe  —  Comment  on 
Jude  xxiv.  —  Intimacy  with  Miss  L.  V.  Byrd  —  Letters  to  Miss 
B.  —  Counsels  to  the  Desponding  —  Communions  in  private  — 
Removal  to  Ilamiltonville  —  Cottage  Home — Efforts  to  do 
good  —  Excursions  to  the  Woodlands  —  Classes  for  Instruc- 
tion —  First  Letter  to  Rev.  R.  Smith 258 

CHAPTER    XIIL  — A.D.  1842. 

Letters  to  Miss  B.:  To  a  Young  Person:  To  Rev.  J.  Howard  Smith 

—  Bishop  Moore's  Visit  —  Return  to  the  Sanctuary  —  Romaine 

—  Confirmation  —  Visits  to  the  Vestry-Room  —  Plan  for  a  Church 
in  Bucks  County  —  Letters  on  the  Subject  —  Urgent  Letter  to 
her  Cousin  R.  S 286 


CHAPTER    XIV.  — A.D.  1843. 

Success  of  her  Efforts  for  the  Young  —  Recent  Illustration  —  En- 
joyment of  the  Holy  Communion  —  Letter  to  R.  S.  on  the  Scrip- 
tures—  Letter  to  J.  II.  S.  —  False  Doctrines  —  Dr.  Clark's  Illness 
—  Prospect  of  Sudden  Death  —  Miss  B.'s  Illness  —  Letters  of 
Condolence  —  Hortatory  Letters  to  a  Lady 306 


X  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER    X  V.  —  A.  D.  1844. 

Letters  of  Friendship  —  Recollections  of  her  Mother  —  Visit  from 
an  afflicted  Friend  —  Dr.  Clark's  Death  —  Letters  to  Miss  B. — 
Letter  to  a  Bereaved  Mother  —  "  The  Land  far  Away." 325 

CHAPTER    XVL  — A.D.  1845. 

Letters  to  Miss  B.  —  Missive  of  Consolation  in  Illness  —  Visit  to 
her  Friend's  Death-bed  —  Departing  in  Peace  —  Projected  Me- 
moir —  Piece  written  in  an  Album  —  Thoughts  suggested  by 
Flowers  —  Letters  containing  allusions  to  Miss  B 339 

• 

CHAPTER    XVIL— A.D.  1846. 

New  Year's  Day — Dr.  Judson's  Visit  —  Letters:  To  a  Young  Man: 
To  a  Mourner — Visit  from  Bishop  Potter — Increased  Debility 

—  Close  Confinement — Dependence  on  Spiritual  Succor — Rejec- 
tion of  Stimulants  —  Notes  made  in  her  Chamber — Peace  in 
Christ  —  Letter  of  Persuasion 355 

CHAPTER    XVIIL  — A.D.  1847, 

Conversational  Remarks  —  Letters  :  To  Relatives :  To  an  Invalid : 
To  a  Fatherless  Daughter:  To  W.  A.N.  —  Estimate  of  Arch- 
bishop Leighton  —  Mystical  Writers  —  Letter  to  Bishop  Potter 

—  Letter  of  Caution  to  a  Young  Disciple:  To  Mrs.  Bedell  — 
Recollections  of  Dr.  B. —  St.  Andrew's  —  Flattery  —  Visitors  — 
Adaptation  to  all  Classes  —  Henry  Clay's  Visit  and  Conversation 

—  Correspondence  with  Mr.  Clay 375 

CHAPTER    X I X.  —  A.  D.  1848— 1849. 

A  Comforter  of  the  Sorrowing  —  Letters  of  Sympathy  to  the  Be- 
reaved: To  an  afflicted  little  Boy  —  Conversation  —  Content- 
ment—  Letters  to  Dr.  N. :  To  R.  S.  on  Discouragements  — 
Alarm  at  Tractarian  Errors  —  Letter  referring  thereto  —  Letters 
of  Friendship  —  Pastoral  Visits  —  Letter  to  one  lately  baptized 

—  Importance  of  a  high  Standard  in  Religion  —  Letters  to  the 
Young 394 


CONTENTS.  XI 

CHAPTER    XX.  — A.  D.  1849— 1850. 

Death  of  her  Sister  —  Congeniality  —  Active  Usefulness  —  Support 

—  Sanctified  Grief — Letters  descriptive  of  her  Sister's  Charac- 
ter :  To  Rev.  Dr.  Fowles :  To  Girls  in  the  House  of  Refuge :  To 
her  Preceptor:  To  the  Mother  of  an  Afflicted  Child 430 

CHAPTER    XXL  — A.  D.  1850. 

Letter  to  a  Bereaved  Mother  in  Ireland  —  Persuasive  Letter  to  a 
Youth  —  Letters  to  Dr.  N. :  To  a  Relative  —  Intercourse  with 
the  Young  —  Unitarian  Views  —  Letter  on  the  subject  to  R.  S. 

—  Dr.  Channing  —  Arianism  —  Letters  of  Friendship  and  Con- 
dolence   443 

CHAPTER    XXIL  — A.D.  1851. 

Interest  in  Foreign  Missions  —  Letters  on  the  subject  to  Rev.  R. 
Smith  —  Mr.  Smith's  Devotion  to  the  Work,  and  Early  Death 

—  Letter  to  Dr.  N.  —  Another  sharp  Affliction  —  Letter  of  Con- 
solation—  Dr.  Gordon's  Life  —  Letters:  To  Rev.  Mr.  D.,  on 
Entering  the  Ministry :  To  an  Invalid  Youth  —  Visit  from  an 
aged  Christian ^ 462 

CHAPTER    XXIIL  — A.D.  1852. 

Letter  on  Missions  to  R.  S.  —  Natural  Affections  strengthened 
by  Grace  —  Letter  to  a  Friend  on  the  Death  of  his  Mother  — 
Letters  to  Friends  in  Europe :  To  R.  S.,  the  Ministry :  To  a 
Young  Convert :  To  a  Prisoner 481 

CHAPTER    XXIV.  — A.D.  1853. 

Unexpected  Continuance — Epistolary  Efforts — Various  Letters: 
To  a  Bereaved  Parent :  Urgent  Persuasive  to  a  Youth :  To 
another,  pressing  Immediate  Repentance :  Remarks  upon  the 
Psalms:  To  R.  S.  —  Interest  in  the  Colored  Race  —  Congratu- 
latory to  a  Young  Disciple  —  Description  of  Visit  from  Dr.  Kal- 
ley  —  Work  of  Grace  in  Madeira —  The  Awakened  Romanist  — 
Social  Affections — Youthful  Aspirations  — The  True  Church  of 

Christ  —  To  Rev.  J.  H.  Fowles  in  Illness 499 

2 


XU  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER    X  X  V.  —  A.  D.  1854. 

"Waiting  for  God's  Salvation  —  Cheerfulness  of  her  Apartment  — 
Letters  to  the  Young  —  Morell's  Philosophy  of  Religion  —  Mr. 
Fowle's  Illness  —  To  J.  11.  S. —  Simplicity  of  the  Gospel  —  Pre- 
ference of  Love  and  Faith  to  Knowledge  —  Romaine  —  To  a 
Young  Person  on  Insincerity  —  Desires  to  fathom  certain  Pas- 
sages of  Scripture — Removal  of  Friends — Visit  from  a  Converted 
Ojibwa  —  Letter  to  R.  S.  —  The  Highest  Study  —  Pineville  — 
To  Mrs.  Kalley  —  Apprehended  loss  of  Sight  —  Acquiescence  — 
Letters  of  Sympathy — Vision  of  a  believer — Concluding  Letters.  539 

CHAPTER    XXVL  — A.D.  1854. 

Relative  Value  of  the  Living  and  Dying  Witness  —  The  Event  in 
Constant  Prospect — Increasing  Debility — The  Summer  of  1854 
—  Incidents  of  the  Last  Weeks  of  her  Life  —  Final  Commu- 
nion — Closing  Scene  —  Funeral — Address  and  Sermon 573 


MEMOIR 

OF 

SUSAN   ALLIBONE. 

CHAPTER  I. 

Introduction  —  Birth  —  Maternal    Influence  —  School-days  —  Love  of 
Study — Partiality  for  Poetry — Works  of  Fiction — Later  Judgment. 

The  works  of  the  Lord  furnish  an  inexhaustible  source  of 
delight  and  instruction.  The  treasured  secrets  of  the  mate- 
rial universe,  the  mysteries  of  over-ruling  Providence,  the 
manifold  arrangements  that  render  earth  so  beautiful  and 
convenient  a  dwelling-place  for  man,  amply  reward  the  re- 
searches of  the  patient  inquirer.  But  redemption  presents  a 
fairer  and  more  glorious  page  to  our  study  than  creation  — 
grace  has  richer  stores  and  purer  gems  than  nature.  No 
wisdom  is  more  wondrous  than  that  which  builds  up  the 
temple  of  the  Lord  with  living  stones,  and  erects  therewith 
a  meet,  acceptable  shrine  for  his  eternal  indwelling.  No 
loving-kindness  is  more  admirable  than  that  which  translates 
undying  souls  from  the  kingdom  of  darkness  into  that  of 
God's  dear  Son.  No  earthly  charms,  however  attractive  and 
exquisite,  can  compare  with  the  beauty  of  holiness.  In  the 
language  of  one  whose  character  the  following  pages  will 
attempt  to  delineate,  "It  is  delightful  to  watch  the  expand- 
ing foliage  and  budding  flower ;  still  more  interesting  is  the 

(15) 


16  INTRODUCTION. 

development  of  intellect  and  of  social  and  moral  character ; 
but  it  is  a  more  llallo^Yed  and  satisfactory  employment  to 
trace  the  operations  of  the  Holy  Spirit  upon  the  heart  of  a 
believer."  The  signal  triumphs  of  divine  grace  are  too  pre- 
cious to  be  lightly  esteemed  or  soon  forgotten.  They  con- 
firm the  faith  and  animate  the  hopes  of  the  wayfarer  towards 
Jerusalem  that  is  above.  There  is  a  sacred  duty  devolved 
upon  survivors,  to  preserve  and  perpetuate  shining  examples 
of  Christian  excellence.  The  light  enkindled  by  fire  fx'om 
heaven,  which  hath  beamed  with  holy  brightness,  ought  not 
to  be  quenched  or  hidden  by  the  shadows  of  the  tomb.  Long 
after  the  orb  of  day  hath  descended  behind  the  Western  hills, 
his  mellowed  rays  illumine  and  guide  us.  And  years  after 
the  faithful  disciple  of  Jesus  hath  gone  the  way  of  all  the 
earth,  holy  instructions  and  afiectionate  counsels,  works  of 
faith  and  labors  of  love,  active  zeal  and  patient  submission, 
survive  to  edify  and  bless. 

The  present  memoir  is  an  humble  attempt  to  perpetuate 
the  name,  and  to  widen  the  hallowed  influence,  of  one  whose 
memory  is  embalmed  in  many  sweet  and  holy  recollections. 
None  who  knew  Susan  Allibone,  while  she  was  a  dweller 
upon  earth,  could  doubt  that  her  name  was  written  in  heaven. 
There  will  be  a  cloud  of  witnesses  to  rise  up  in  the  great 
day  of  recompense  and  call  her  blessed :  sinners,  whom  she 
was  the  instrument  of  converting ;  Christians,  whom  she 
strengthened  and  animated  ;  mourners,  whom  she  comforted ; 
wanderers,  whom  she  led  back  to  the  Shepherd  of  the  flock ; 
the  aged,  whose  feeble  knees  she  confirmed ;  the  youthful, 
whom  she  sweetly  attracted ;  and  the  little  children,  to  whom 
she  spake  so  winningly  of  a  Saviour's  love.  And  although 
her  voice  is  no  longer  heard  in  the  fervent  prayer  or  the 
melting  appeal,  and  her  pale,  sweet  countenance  is  hidden 
beneath  the  sod,  yet  her  bright  example  long  will  live,  and 
her  words  spoken  in  season  carefully  be  treasured  up.  She 
"  being  dead,  yet  speaketh."     And  now  that  her  ear  cannot 


BIRTH.  17 

be  pained  with  the  sound  of  human  commendation,  a  full 
exhibition  of  a  character  so  eminently  sanctified,  is  but  an- 
other trophy  laid  at  the  feet  of  that  Saviour,  who  was  indeed 
all  her  salvation  and  all  her  desire. 

The  traveller,  approaching  Philadelphia  by  the  Southern 
Railroad,  after  crossing  the  Schuylkill,  sees  on  the  opposite 
bank  of  the  river  an  interesting  landscape.  Smooth,  verdant 
fields  slope  gently  down  to  the  margin  of  the  stream.  A 
magnificent  grove  of  forest  trees  crowns  the  crest  of  the  hill, 
and  embowers  an  ancient  mansion  to  which  the  estate  once 
pertained.  But  the  dwelling  and  the  grounds  are  no  longer 
joyous  with  the  mirth  of  the  living.  The  monumental  marble 
glistens  in  its  white  purity  amid  the  trees,  and  the  silent  dead 
repose  beneath  the  grassy  turf,  within  sight  of  the  busy  city, 
but  beyond  the  sound  of  its  stirring  multitudes,  unvexed  by 
its  agitations.  Under  one  of  these  noble  trees  is  the  simple 
monument  on  which  is  graven  a  name  associated  inseparably, 
in  the  minds  of  her  familiar  friends,  with  the  glory  of  Christ. 
It  was  a  spot  which  she  loved  to  visit  while  still  permitted  a 
brief  escape  from  the  chamber  of  sickness,  and  where  she 
passed  many  hours  of  delightful  meditation,  looking  forward 
with  joy  to  the  period  when  her  flesh  should  there  rest  in 
hope,  and  her  spirit  be  welcomed  to  its  heavenly  home.  When 
"  the  trumpet  shall  sound,  and  the  dead  shall  bo  raised  in- 
corruptible," how  radiant  and  glorious  a  celestial  body  will 
emerge  from  that  sepulchre,  and  "  be  caught  up  to  meet  the 
Lord!" 

Susan  Allibone  was  born  in  the  city  of  Philadelphia,  July 
'29th,  1813.  Her  father,  William,  the  son  of  Thomas  and 
Esther  Allibone,  was  also  born  in  Philadelphia,  March  4th, 
1781,  and  departed  this  life,  Nov.  18th,  1821.  Her  mother, 
Sarah,  daughter  of  John  and  Sarah  Smith,  was  born  near 
Wrightstown,  Bucks  County,  May  31st,  1784.  Of  this  vene- 
rated parent,  Susan  always  spoke  in  terms  of  enthusiastic 
admiration  and  affection.  The  diary  and  letters  embraced  in 
B  2* 


18  MATERNAL    INFLUENCE. 

this  sketch  show  that  no  common  bond  united  the  mother  and 
the  children.  And  these  unstudied,  confidential  outgushings 
of  filial  love  and  reverence  furnish  a  beautiful  tribute  to  her 
parent's  memory,  and  embody  a  graphic  portraiture  of  her 
character.  The  subject  of  this  memoir  felt  her  own  debt  to 
maternal  tenderness,  fidelity,  and  wisdom  to  be  a  large  one, 
and  gladly  and  gratefully  did  she  confess  it.  And  what  was 
the  heart- wrench  occasioned  by  the  parting  of  the  grave, 
when  the  mother  was  removed  from  the  household  which  she 
cherished  and  adorned,  will  be  best  appreciated  from  her  own 
touching  language. 

The  firm  and  decided  character  of  the  mother,  her  calm 
energy  and  excellent  judgment,  were  admirably  calculated  to 
control  and  direct  a  temperament  like  that  of  Susan,  naturally 
ardent  and  impetuous.  Under  her  judicious,  fostering  care, 
Susan's  infancy  grew  up  to  sprightly,  ingenuous  youth,  and 
youth  expanded  into  sensitive,  warm-hearted  womanhood.  A 
large  family  of  brothers  and  sisters  contributed  to  each 
other's  happiness,  and  the  ties  of  aifectionate  interest  among 
all  the  members  of  the  family  were  strong  and  abiding. 
Fixed,  sterling  principle  was  prominent  in  the  mother's  cha- 
racter, and  was,  with  God's  blessing,  successfully  imparted  to 
her  children.  Truth,  integrity,  benevolence,  and  kindness 
were  inculcated  by  example  as  jvell  as  precept,  and  the 
mother  was  spared  long  enough  to  reap  a  very  precious  reward 
of  her  cares  and  solicitudes. 

Susan  gave  early  indications  of  an  active,  vigorous  intellect, 
and  a  warm,  lively  imagination.  At  school,  her  progress  was 
satisfactory  and  rapid,  and  of  her  teacher  she  always  spoke 
with  great  regard  and  affection.  Her  fondness  for  study  and 
thirst  for  knowledge  rendered  it  afterwards  a  sore  trial,  when 
the  failure  of  her  health  required  the  abandonment  of  severe 
mental  application. 

Her  love  of  literature  was  absorbing,  and  she  often  luxu- 
riated, in  some  secluded  reti-eat,  in  the  quiet  enjoyment  of  a 


WORKS    OF    FICTION.  19 

favorite  author.  To  her  taste  for  the  beautiful,  and  vivid 
imagination,  poetry  was  exceedingly  attractive,  —  neither  is 
it  to  be  wondered  at  that  works  of  fiction  had  their  charm 
for  her  early  years.  But  after  she  knew  Christ,  or  rather 
was  known  of  him,  she  gave  a  striking  evidence  of  the  reality 
and  firmness  of  her  new  principles,  in  the  entire  renunciation 
of  this  fascinating  literature.  The  suspicion  that  a  practice 
was  injurious  to  the  spiritual  character,  and  hostile  to  growth 
in  grace,  was  always  enough  to  determine  her  course.  She 
resolutely  acted  upon  her  convictions  of  duty,  at  whatever 
immediate  sacrifice,  and  never  hesitated  to  forego  any  grati- 
fication upon  which  she  could  not  ask  the  blessing  of  God. 

The  subjoined  letter  to  a  friend  alludes  to  her  early  fond- 
ness for  such  seductive  works,  and  gives  her  matured  judgment 
respecting  this  indulgence  : — 

"The  pamphlet  thee  playfully  sent  me,  dear ,  I  have  thus  long 

detained,  not  that  it  might  receive  an  attentive  perusal,  but  from  a 
desire  to  accompany  it  with  an  expression  of  affectionate  interest,  of 
which  dear  sister's  pen  must  be  the  medium.  A  formal  criticism 
upon  works  of  fiction  I  do  not  wish  to  give  thee.  I  must  not  forget 
how  much  I  once  delighted  in  these  polluted  streams.  It  is  in  sor- 
row, not  in  anger,  that  I  would  persuade  my  friends  to  forsake  them. 

The  river  of  life,  dear ,  yields  purer  and  more  refreshing  waters, 

and  of  these  alone  may  we  drink  and  be  satisfied.  Oh  !  taste  and  see 
that  the  Lord  is  gracious.  Let  experience  test  the  blessedness  of 
religion,  and  then  will  thee  confirm  my  testimony,  that  one  hour  of  its 
enjoyment  is  of  greater  value  than  all  the  pleasures  of  earth.  The 
happiness  of  the  Christian  is  not  all  prospective.  God  gives  his 
children  the  earnest  of  his  promised  inheritance,  and  they  regard 
with  compassionate  tenderness  those  around  them  who  amuse  them- 
selves with  trifles  here,  and  are  quite  unfurnished  for  the  world  to 
come.  '  We  must  all  stand  before  the  judgment-seat  of  Christ.' 
And  how  shall  I  then  feel,  if  I  be  not  faithful  in  the  discbarge  of 
my  responsibility  towards  one  who  is  united  to  me  by  the  ties  of 

kindred  ?     Pray,  my  dear ,  for  a  realization  of  eternal  things. 

The  dream  of  earthly  pleasure  cannot  last  for  ever.  It  will  be  fear- 
ful,  indeed,  to  awake  in  a  dying  hour  or  in  a  world  of  wo  !  Jesus 
of  Nazareth  passeth  by;  beseech  Him  to  enter  thy  heart:    He  will 


20  LATER. TUDGMENT. 

wash  away  its  sins,  and  fill  it  with  holy  joy.  It  will  know  no  longer 
the  restlessness  of  ennui,  but  will  rest  in  peace  upon  the  Rock  of 
Ages.  There  will  be  joy  in  the  presence  of  the  angels  of  God,  and 
then  will  fervent  thanksgiving  ascend  from  the  heart  of  thy  friend." 

The  following  interesting  reference  to  her  feelings  at  this 
period  of  her  life,  is  taken  from  an  unfinished  letter  addressed 
to  the  pupils  of  a  Female  Seminary : — 

"  My  school-days  have  passed  away,  but  not  so  nay  sympathy  with 
the  warm  feelings  and  bright  hopes  of  a  young  heart.  I  would  not 
harshly  reprove  its  wayward  imaginings,  nor  rudely  awake  it  from 
its  day-dreams.  I  would  not  speak  only  of  the  stern  realities  of  life, 
and  the  disappointments  which  so  often  crush  the  buoyant  spirit. 
Oh,  no  !  my  young  friends.  I  would  tell  you  first  of  '  Him  who  was 
lifted  up  from  the  earth  that  He  might  draw  all  men  unto  Him.' 
How  ardently /once  desired  some  source  of  happiness,  which  I  found 
not  in  myself,  nor  the  objects  which  surrounded  me ;  and  how  did  I 
strive  to  satisfy  this  longing  of  the  soul  by  recourse  to  the  fictions 
of  other  minds,  and  the  romantic  aspirations  of  my  own  !  I  saw  at 
once  that  the  pleasures  of  the  world  did  not  even  promise  enjoy- 
ment; for  the  unmeaning  conversation,  and  idle  pursuits  of  the  cir- 
cles of  gaiety,  were  to  me  scarcely  more  interesting  than  the  toj's  of 
childhood.  I  endeavoured  to  acquire  knowledge,  and  though  my 
intellectual  possessions  were  very  limited,  it  was  my  delight  to  add 
to  them  a  little  more.  I  knew  there  was  no  resting-place  upon  the 
hill  of  science,  but  its  rugged  ascent  presented  attractions  which 
urged  me  to  journey  on.  But  there  was  still  a  painful  void  :  I  had 
a  spiritual  nature,  and  it  was  not  at  hCme  in  any  sublunary  pursuit. 
The  Holy  Spirit,  who  marked  my  ineffectual  research,  then  graciously 
vouchsafed  me  light  enough  to  show  me  that  I  had  lost  my  way,  and 
I  resolved  to  seek  my  Heavenly  Father's  blessing." 

Writing  long  afterward  to  a  young  person  obliged  by  ill 
health  to  desist  from  study,  she  says  :  —  "I  remember  well 
how  many  tears  I  shed  when  I  was  subjected  to  this  trial,  for 
it  was  my  earnest  desire  to  acquire  vast  stores  of  informa- 
tion, but  I  felt  even  then  that  there  was  one  subject  of 
investigation  more  important  than  all  the  resources  of  human 
literature." 


CHAPTER   II. 

1833. 

First  Religious  Impressions  —  Discouragement  —  Conversion  —  Dr.  Be- 
dell's Ministry  —  Baptism  —  First  Approach  to  the  Lord's  Table  — 
Confirmation  —  Love  for  the  Episcopal  Church  and  Liturgy — Catholic 
Spirit  —  St.  Andrew's,  Philadelphia  —  Evangelical  Views, 

The  era  of  the  believer's  second  birth  —  of  the  commence- 
ment of  the  new,  the  immortal  life,  hid  with  Christ  in  God  — 
with  what  interest  will  it  be  invested  throughout  eternity ! 
With  what  delighted  wonder  will  the  glorified  saint  review 
each  step  of  the  way  in  which  the  Lord  led  his  servant, 
emerging  from  nature's  darkness  into  marvellous  light,  and 
discover  the  amazing  wisdom  and  love  which  directed  his 
goings.  In  the  experience  of  some  of  God's  children,  the 
transition  is  marked  and  sudden  from  death  in  trespasses  and 
sins  to  newness  of  life.  The  conviction  of  sin  is  sharp  and 
agonizing,  and  the  believing  view  of  the  Lamb  of  God  is  im- 
mediately attended  with  such  emotions  of  relief  and  joy,  that 
the  circumstances  of  the  change  are  manifest,  and  the  hour 
discernible.  But  among  those  familiarized,  from  early  youth, 
with  the  truths  of  redemption,  this  is  not  the  ordinary  method 
of  the  Spirit's  operation.  Silently  and  imperceptibly,  the 
truth,  that  had  been  known  to  the  intellect,  stirs  the  con- 
science, engages  the  affections,  and  penetrates  the  heart. 
Like  the  natural  husbandry,  there  is  first  the  blade,  then  the 
ear,  then  the  full  corn  in  the  ear.  The  influx  of  the  divine 
light  is  not  like  the  tropical  sun-rise,  flooding  the  landscape, 
a  little  while  before  buried  in  night's  obscurity,  with  an 
almost  instantaneous  and  overpowering  radiance ;  but  like 
the  unveiling  of  the  same  bright  orb  in  more  temperate,  but 
not  less  favored  regions,  the  dawn  advances  with  a  progress 

(21) 


22  CONVERSION.  [1833. 

almost  imperceptible,  until  the  perfect  day  gladdens  the  re- 
joicing \\-orld. 

Thus  it  was  with  the  eminent  Christian  whose  deep  religious 
experience,  whose  ripeness  in  knowledge  and  grace  will  be 
presented  in  the  following  pages,  chiefly  through  the  medium 
of  her  own  unconscious  pen.  Her  conversion  was  not  one 
marked  by  sudden  transitions  and  violent  emotions.  Like 
Lydia's,  her  heart  was  gently  opened  by  the  Spirit  of  truth, 
and  the  conclusion  that  she  was  herself  a  new  creature  in 
Christ  Jesus  was  the  result  of  calm  reflection,  and  the  review 
of  a  change  that  had  been  many  months  in  progress.  Com- 
paring her  present  with  her  former  self,  she  recognized,  with 
tremulous  hope,  and  joy  mingled  with  solicitude,  cheering  in- 
dications that  she  had  been  the  subject  of  divine  grace,  and 
was  confirmed  in  her  purpose  of  devoting  herself  to  the  Lord. 
Upon  this  point  she  remarks,  in  her  own  Diary  (under  date 
of  February  17th,  1833)  : 

"  I  am  often  grieved  that  I  have  not  experienced  deeper 
convictions  of  sin,  and  stronger  feelings  of  repentance ;  but 
I  desire  to  experience  any  feelings  that  may  be  profitable.  I 
will  not  be  discouraged  on  that  account,  especially  as  my  re- 
ligious feelings  have  been  so  very  gradual.  The  conviction 
of  being  an  object  of  the  displeasure  of  God  has  weighed 
heavily  upon  my  mind  during  the  j>ast  year  or  two ;  and  as  I 
have  recently  become  sensible  of  a  more  peaceful  state  of 
mind  than  I  have  ever  before  enjoyed,  I  will  trust  that  a 
saving  change  has  commenced  in  my  heart,  and  that  it  will 
not,  be  long  ere  more  light  be  given  me." 

The  religious  sentiments  of  Miss  Allibone  were  put  to  the 
test  of  protracted  and  distressing  illness,  and  were  intimately 
connected,  in  the  minds  of  her  friends,  with  the  confinement 
and  pain  by  which  they  were  so  beautifully  illustrated ;  but 
they  were  not,  at  their  commencement,  the  fruit  of  broken 
health,  and  enforced  seclusion.  On  the  contrary,  she  turned 
from  the  world  when  it  lay  all  bright  and  tempting  before 


1833.]  DR.    EEDELL'S    MINISTRY.  23 

her,  and  chose  the  Lord  for  her  portion  before  she  knew  the 
tedium  and  distress  of  the  invalid's  chamber.  In  one  of  her 
letters,  commending  her  Saviour's  love,  occurs  the  remark, 
"  She  might  suppose  that  suffering  had  driven  me  to  this  re- 
fuge ;  but  I  felt  that  it  alone  is  a  resting-place,  before  I  felt 
the  influence  of  disease." 

Her  attention  seems  to  have  been  first  arrested  bj  a  ser- 
mon which  she  heard,  at  the  age  of  sixteen,  on  the  text, 
"  The  wages  of  sin  is  death."  So  much  was  she  impressed 
by  it,  that  she  was  induced  to  seek  the  society  of  Christians, 
in  the  hope  of  obtaining  that  encouragement  and  guidance, 
of  which  she  now  felt  the  need.  In  this  hope  she  was  disap- 
pointed. Her  thirst  for  religious  knowledge  was  not  satisfied, 
and  her  salutary  impressions  grew  by  degrees  fainter.  The 
remembrance  of  this  stage  in  her  spiritual  history,  and  of  the 
loss  and  discouragement  which  she  sustained,  by  the  want  of 
Christian  counsel  and  invitation  to  communicate  her  own 
feelings,  exerted  a  decided  influence  upon  her  religious  life. 
She  dreaded  lest  she  herself  should  thus  quench  the  aspira- 
tions of  any  awakened  soul,  and  especially  of  any  youthful 
seeker  after  salvation ;  and  hence  she  was  ready,  not  only  to 
welcome  the  introduction,  but  to  anticipate  the  all-important 
subject.  Her  heart  was  overflowing  with  love  for  the  souls 
of  all  around  her,  and  out  of  the  abundance  of  the  heart  her 
mouth  spake  constantly,  aff"ectionately,  and  persuasively.  She 
formed  the  habit  of  introducing  religion  into  all  her  conver- 
sations and  letters,  and  combined  fidelity  and  plainness  with 
such  winning  gentleness  and  cordial  sympathy,  that  none 
could  be  ofiended.  The  Lord  God  gave  her  the  tongue  of 
the  learned,  that  she  might  speak  a  word  in  season  to  those 
that  were  weary. 

Her  desires  for  peace  with  God  were  again  rekindled,  and 
she  found  special  blessing  and  comfort  from  the  ministry  of 
the  Rev.  Dr.  Bedell,  Rector  of  St.  Andrew's  Church.  The 
labors  of  that  devoted  servant  of  God  formed  an  era  in  the 


24  BAPTISM.  [1833. 

religious  history  of  the  city  in  which  his  lot  was  cast.  He 
"preached  the  gospel  with  the  Holy  Ghost  sent  down  from 
heaven,"  and  "hy  manifestation  of  the  truth,  commended 
himself  to  every  conscience,  in  the  sight  of  God."  And 
among  the  many  precious  souls  who  will  be  his  "joy  and 
crown  of  rejoicing,  in  the  day  of  the  Lord  Jesus,"  is  the  sub- 
ject of  this  memoir.  The  faithful  pastor  and  the  docile  mem- 
ber of  his  flock  now  hymn  together  the  praises  of  Him  who 
loved  them,  and  washed  them  from  their  sins  in  his  own 
blood. 

On  the  31st  of  January,  1833,  being  then  in  the  twentieth 
year  of  her  age,  she  received  baptism  at  the  hands  of  Dr. 
Bedell.  The  first  entry  in  her  Diary,  bearing  date  February 
2d,  1833,  thus  alludes  to  this  solemn  and  interesting  event : 

"  With  a  grateful  heart  do  I  make  this  record  of  my  feel- 
ings. It  constitutes  but  one  among  the  many  attempts  I 
have  made  to  keep  a  Diary.  Hitherto,  my  feelings  have  been 
so  complicated,  and  often  so  inexplicable,  that  their  retro- 
spect has  afforded  me  little  gratification.  I  trust  their  nature 
is  now  changed,  and  that  the  same  grace  which  has  thus  far 
influenced  my  heart  will  bring  it  into  a  state  of  complete  sub- 
jection, so  that  I  may  henceforth  daily  rejoice  in  the  mercy 
of  my  Heavenly  Father,  and  become  more  and  more  opposed 
to  aught  that  is  repugnant  to  His  will. 

"  I  have  made  a  solemn  vow  to  devote  my  heart  and  life 
to  His  service,  and  w^as  induced  to  do  so  by  a  conviction  that 
strength  would  be  given  me  for  its  fulfilment.  I  trust  that 
the  feelings  of  solemnity  induced  by  a  sense  of  the  important 
step  I  have  taken,  may  be  ever  vividly  traced  on  my  memory." 
In  her  Diary,  January  31st,  1834,  she  remarks : 

"  This  day,  a  year  ago,  my  dear and  I  were  baptized. 

I  entered  into  such  solemn  obligations,  trusting  in  the  streno-th 
of  my  Saviour,  and  truly  can  I  say,  '  Hitherto  hath  the  Lord 
helped  me.'  " 

It  was,  indeed,  a  sincere,  unreserved  surrender  that  she 


1833.]  BAPTISM.  25 

made  of  herself  to  the  Lord,  in  his  appointed  ordinance  ;  and 
the  covenant  into  which  she  then  publicly  entered  w  .s,  ii  all 
things,  "well  ordered  and  sure."  None  who  knew  her  can 
doubt  that  she  "  witnessed  a  good  confession,"  and  how  well  she 
fulfilled  her  solemn  promise  and  vow,  to  "fight  manfully 
under  Christ's  banner,  and  continue  his  faithful  soldier  and 
servant,  unto  her  life's  end,"  all  could  testify.  She  led,  in- 
deed, "the  rest  of  her  life  according  to  that  beginning.' 
The  duty  of  a  public  profession  of  their  faith,  by  all  who  are 
intent  on  the  kingdom  of  heaven,  and  who  indulge  a  hope  of 
salvation,  was  to  her  mind  perfectly  evident. 

Her  correspondence  will  show  how  faithfully  she  urged  this 
obligation  upon  those  whom  she  counselled.  The  step  which 
she  herself  took  from  conscience  towards  God,  and  from  the 
desire  to  render  full  obedience  to  her  Saviour's  commands, 
and  which  she  was  fully  convinced  had  brought  her  rich  spi- 
ritual blessings,  she  earnestly  commended  to  all  who  were 
seeking  the  way  of  life.  And  representations  of  the  binding 
and  sacred  character  of  this  duty,  and  of  the  benefits  that 
would  flow  from  its  right  performance,  came  with  much  power 
and  efi"ect  from  one  so  spiritually-minded.  That  there  is  no 
necessary  connection  between  divinely-appointed  forms  and 
formality,  and  that  the  way  of  obedience  is  the  way  of  peace 
and  holiness,  was  made  evident  by  her  own  example.  Miss 
Allibone's  early  associations,  it  may  be  here  remarked,  were, 
to  a  considerable  extent,  with  the  Society  of  Friends.  She 
numbered  many  endeared  intimates  and  family  connections 
among  that  people,  and  in  her  letters  and  conversation  was 
accustomed  frequently  to  use  their  characteristic  language. 

The  next  entry  in  her  Diary,  which,  from  this  time,  w&s 
kept  up,  for  some  years,  with  little  interruption,  records  her 
feelings  of  anxiety  in  reference  to  her  first  approach  to  the 
Lord's  table : 

^^  February  Ath. — I  was  not  aware  until  Saturday  afternoon 
that  I  was  expected  to  take  the  Sacrament  the  next  day.     I 

3 


26  THE    lord's    TABLE.  [1833. 

felt  greatly  agitated,  as  I  feared  my  mind  was  not  prepared 
for  so  solemn  an  ordinance.  I  made  several  unsuccessful 
efforts  to  see  Dr.  Bedell,  with  a  determination  to  tell  him  the 
nature  of  my  feelings,  and  to  be  guided  then  by  his  advice. 
As  I  could  not  see  him,  I  felt  very  uneasy  on  the  subject, 
and  my  rest  "was  much  disturbed.  I  did  not  dare  to  refuse 
the  privilege,  and  feared  to  accept  it.  I  almost  concluded, 
however,  to  accept  it  before  going  to  church.  I  had  then  an 
opportunity  of  seeing  Dr.  Bedell,  and  my  resolution  was  con- 
firmed. I  have  never  before  experienced  feelings  of  so  solemn 
a  nature.  I  now  rejoice  that  I  acted  as  I  did.  I  was  as- 
sured of  the  sincerity  of  my  heart,  and  trusted  to  God  for 
the  rest.  May  I  ever  be  enabled  to  trust  in  His  mercy.  I 
have  so  little  faith.  I  trust  it  will  be  increased.  I  feel  the 
most  heartfelt  desire  to  know  more  of  spiritual  things.  I  am 
perfectly  willing  to  give  up  the  world,  and  even  all  my  friends, 
and  my  life,  if  it  be  God's  will,  and  yet  I  feel  so  ignorant, 
and  so  very  sinful :  my  mind  has  been  so  much  confused  dur- 
ing the  past  week.  I  pray  Thee,  oh,  my  Heavenly  Father, 
to  give  me  more  faith  in  Thee ;  to  take  away  every  enjoy- 
ment and  every  desire  opposed  to  Thy  will ;  to  enable  me  to 
love  Thee  supremely ;  to  perform  every  duty  in  the  most 
conscientious  manner,  and  to  delight  in  Thy  word,  in  Thy 
people,  and  in  prayer  to  Thee.  Teach  me  to  love  my  Bible 
better  than  all  other  books. 

"  I  feel  very  thankful  that  I  am  so  surrounded  by  friends, 
and,  above  all,  that  my  beloved  parent  is  so  disposed  to  en- 
courage my  endeavours  to  perform  my  duty." 

"  3Ionday,  Feb.  12th. — I  have  endured  severe  suffering. 
I  have  experienced  so  much  kindness  during  my  short  indis- 
position, and  have  passed  so  many  happy  moments,  that  I 
can  recur  to  it  with  pleasure.  I  have  been  reading  Baxter's 
Saints'  Rest,  and  have  derived  both  pleasure  and  profit  from 
its  perusal.    What  would  once  have  induced  me  to  read  such 


1833.]  SELF-EXAMINATION.  27 

a  book  !      It  would  have  seemed  too  dry  and  prosing  for 
endurance. 

"  There  is  nothing  equal  to  religion.  One  moment  of  its 
enjoyment  is  worth  more  than  all  the  pleasures  of  the  world. 
If,  with  the  limited  experience  I  have  had  of  its  influence, 
such  is  my  conviction,  how  happy,  how  joyful  must  be  those 
who  are  wholly  devoted  to  its  service  !  I  trust  that  I  shall 
improve  every  day.  To  become  a  devoted  Christian  is  the 
earnest  desire  of  my  heart,  and  I  do  believe  that  God  will 
make  me  one.  My  heart  is  not  now  in  the  right  state,  and 
I  sometimes  fear  it  never  will  be,  but  I  would  yet  trust  in 
Him  who  is  the  light  of  my  countenance,  and  my  God.  How 
grateful  I  feel  for  His  exceeding  mercy  !" 

'■'■February  17th. — I  was  prcvcjnted  by  the  inclemency  of 
the  weather  from  attending  church  on  Friday  evening,  and 
regretted  it  much,  for  I  especially  enjoy  our  lectures,  there 
is  so  much  spirituality  in  them.  Yesterday  I  felt  unusually 
happy :  I  am  too  much  disposed  to  check  such  feelings  from 
a  fear  that  they  are  not  the  result  of  self-knowledge.  I  sus- 
pect that  I  may  thereby  account  for  the  depression  I  some- 
times feel.  I  heard  a  sermon,  this  morning,  on  the  danger 
of  self-dependence.  I  do  trust  that  I  shall  be  gifted  with 
more  humility :  so  much  danger  is  incurred  by  the  slightest 
approach  to  self-righteousness,  and  I  trust  that  I  shall  never 
be  guided  in  matters  of  conscience  by  the  opinion  of  the 
world.  This  afternoon  I  heard  a  blessed  sermon  from  Dr. 
B.  His  text  was,  "I  press  toward  the  mark,"  and  was  ad- 
dressed to  professors  of  religion  chiefly.  He  urged  the  im- 
portance of  a  correct  estimate  of  our  spiritual  condition.  I 
have  most  earnestly  endeavored  to  attain  it :  I  am  sure  of 
this  much,  that  I  have  been  induced  to  make  a  profession  of 
religion  by  a  conviction  of  duty,  and  a  sincere  desire  to  en- 
list myself  among  the  followers  of  Christ,  with  a  willingness 
to  incur  all  risk,  and  to  make  every  needful  sacrifice  ;  that  I 
would  gladly  renounce  every  pursuit  in  which  I  ever  have, 


28  THE     lord's     TABLE.  [1833. 

or  continue  to  delight,  if  convinced  that  my  eternal  interest 
would  be  thereby  advanced.  I  am  convinced  of  my  incapa- 
city to  do  right,  and  am  able  to  trust  in  Christ  for  my  re- 
demption, though  I  often  feel  that  my  faith  is  very  weak." 

"  Fehruary  26th. — I  am  not  often  able  to  write  even  a 
few  lines,  as  I  almost  invariably  increase  the  pain  in  my 
shoulder  by  doing  so.  I  have  experienced  much  mercy  with- 
in the  past  week  or  two,  and  many  feelings  for  which  I  de- 
sire to  be  very  grateful.  I  enjoyed  Sunday  very  much.  I 
always  observe  that  when  I  feel  in  the  morning  a  very  warm 
desire  to  perform  my  duty,  and  pray  earnestly  that  T  may 
be  enabled  to  do  so,  I  pass  an  unusually  happy  day." 

Her  Diary  gives  very  early  indication  of  that  close  and 
faithful  self-examination,  which  was  ever  a  marked  feature 
of  her  character  as  a  Christian.  Her  fervent  petition  was 
often  uttered  in  the  Psalmist's  words,  "  Search  me,  0  God, 
and  know  my  heart :  try  me,  and  know  my  thoughts,  and 
see  if  there  be  any  wicked  way  in  me,  and  lead  me  in  the 
way  everlasting."  To  her  conscientious  performance  of  this 
self-denying  duty  was  doubtless  greatly  owing  her  rapid 
growth  in  grace,  and  eminent  holiness.  Where  friends  saw 
every  thing  to  admire,  she  found  much  to  condemn.  While 
they  were  commending  her  devotion  and  consistency,  she 
was  humbling  herself  before  a  holy  God  for  her  sins  and 
short-comings.  Thus  her  conscience  was  kept  tender,  and 
she  walked  humbly  with  her  God. 

Thus  she  writes — 

"  3Iarch  5th. — On  one  occasion  had  cause  to  regret  the 
levity  of  my  conduct.  I  attended  the  communion  table  on 
Sunday,  and  was  profited  thereby.  My  conduct  on  Saturday 
was  very  inconsistent.  I  indulged  in  feelings  of  anger,  and 
attempted  to  justify  myself  to  myself  by  the  plea  that  I  was 
wronged.  There  can  certainly  be  no  excuse  for  me.  I 
thought  I  perhaps  ought  not  to  take  the  Sacrament,  but  I 
felt  so  very  penitent,  and  so  desirous  to  be  preserved  from 


1833.]  CONFIRMATION.  ,..29 

similar  sins,  that  I  persevered  in  my  intention,  and  am  glad 
that  I  did. 

"  I  dearly  love  the  house  of  God,  and  am  very  grateful 
for  the  comfort  and  edification  I  receive  from  my  attendance 
there.  I  shall  be  very  thankful  if  my  health  should  be  so 
restored  as  to  enable  me  to  attend  more  regularly.  I  desire 
most  earnestly  to  be  resigned  to  the  dispensations  of  God, 
whatever  they  may  be,  and  I  am  aware  that  by  patient  sub- 
mission to  these  dispensations,  it  may  be  a  means  of  benefit. 
We  had  a  very  solemn  lecture  this  evening.  I  felt  so  earn- 
est a  desire  that  my  sisters  and  some  of  my  friends  who  were 
present,  should  be  profited.  I  think  I  feel  more  interest  in 
the  salvation  of  others. 

"  I  have  had  a  great  deal  of  trouble  with  my  temper  of 
late.  I  have  several  times  yielded  to  very  un amiable  feel- 
ings, and  have  suffered  severely  on  account  of  it.  I  have 
determined,  in  the  strength  of  the  Lord,  that  I  will  overcome 
my  faults,  and  become  gentle  and  forbearing.  I  will  make 
this  a  subject  of  daily  prayer,  and  I  know  that  grace  Avill  be 
given  me  to  succeed. 

"  I  had  a  conversation  with  Dr.  Bedell  last  Thursday.  I 
told  him  that  I  could  not  experience  as  great  a  degree  of  as- 
surance as  I  thought  I  ought  to  feel.  He  asked  me  if  I 
thought  I  should  be  condemned  if  God  were  to  remove  me 
from  the  world.  I  told  him  certainly  not.  He  then  asked 
me,  where  then  I  expected  to  go.  I  felt  very  grateful  for 
his  advice,  and  found  it  profitable.  I  ought  to  have  more 
faith.     '  Lord,  I  btelieve,  help  thou  mine  unbelief.'  " 

^^  March  4itli. — The  ordinance  of  Confirmation  was  admi- 
nistered on  Sunday.  It  was  to  me  a  most  solemn  day.  I 
forgot  that  all  eyes  were  upon  me,  and  remembered  only  the 
All-seeing  eye.  I  so  deeply  felt  my  own  unworthiness,  that 
I  was  tempted  to  fear  to  number  myself  among  the  followers 
of  Christ ;  but,  surely,  He  who  has  given  m.e  grace  to  make  a 
profession  of  religion,  will  give  me  grace  to  sustain  it.     My 

3* 


1 


30  CONFIRMATION.  [1833. 

dear  mother  and  sisters  were  present,  and  I  offered  a  fervent 
prayer  that  they  might  never  witness  any  inconsistency  in 
my  conduct  that  could  prejudice  them  against  the  cause  in 
which  I  have  engaged,  and  that  I  might  be  rendered  an  in- 
strument of  grace  to  them.  We  had  a  sermon  in  the  after- 
noon calculated  to  be  of  great  advantage.  The  remarks  up- 
on the  regulation  of  the  temper  were  excellent.  I  have 
thought  and  prayed  a  great  deal  on  this  subject,  and  I  feel 
very  grateful  to  my  Heavenly  Father  that  He  has  enabled 
me,  in  many  instances,  to  resist  the  temptations  I  have  had 
to  yield  to  improper  feelings  of  anger  and  unkindness. 
There  is  much  still  to  be  conquered,  and  I  pray  for  grace  to 
strive  and  strive  until,  through  Christ,  I  am  conqueror.  I 
enjoy  prayer  more  than  ever  before,  and  humbly  trust  that 
I  am  growing  in  grace,  and  in  the  knowledge  of  Christ. 
How  much  more  rapid  might  be  my  advancement,  were  I 
disposed  to  pray  without  ceasing,  and  ever  strive  against 
evil !  We  had  a  lecture  this  morning  on  the  subject  of  con- 
formity. It  was  excellent,  and  I  trust  I  shall  long  remem- 
ber it.  I  am  reading  Bickersteth  on  Prayer.  I  have  found 
it  a  great  benefit,  and  would  recommend  it  to  every  one.  It 
gives  such  encouraging  views  of  prayer. 

^^April  8th. — The  past  week  has  been  to  me  very  interest- 
ing. Last  Thursday  we  had  the  last  of  the  delightful  prayer- 
meetings  that  have  continued  through  Lent.  I  felt  quite 
affected.  I  have  enjoyed  them  so  much,  and  trust  that  I 
have  profited  by  them,  though  I  have  cause  to  deplore  many 
wanderings  of  heart,  while  apparently  engaged  in  the  most 
solemn  duties.  On  Good  Friday,  the  first  that  ever  seemed 
to  me  any  more  than  a  holiday,  not  a  holi/  day^  I  attended 
church  twice.  In  the  morning,  the  subject  of  the  sermon 
was  the  necessity  of  profound  humility,  and  entire  depend- 
ence on  the  merits  of  Christ,  and  proved  that  all  intellectual 
pride  must  be  subdued.  I  thought  all  my  pride  was  gone, 
and  was  grieved  to  find  that  a  degree  of  it  was  still  abiding 


1833.]  DIARY.  31 

in  my  heart.  Of  all  others,  I  have  least  cause  of  pride,  and 
I  Avouder  that  I  am  not  humbled  to  the  dust.  I  returned 
home  in  much  distress,  and  earnestly  prayed  that  God  would 
implant  within  my  heart  a  spirit  of  deep  humility.  This 
dreadful  temptation  soon  left  me,  and  I  do  trust  that  it  is 
my  soul's  desire  to  be  entirely  subservient  to  the  will  of  my 
Maker,  and  to  know  more  of  the  depravity  of  my  nature. 

"  The  Saturday  evening  prayer-meeting  was  very  solemn. 
I  felt  so  peaceful.  Yesterday  the  communion  was  adminis- 
tered. Dr.  B.  requested  those  who  had  never  before  com- 
muned, to  come  forward  alone,  and  gave  them  a  deeply  im- 
pressive exhortation.  I  trust  I  shall  always  remember  its 
solemnity,  and  I  prayed  that  we  might  one  day  glorify  toge- 
ther in  heaven.  Him  whose  death  we  were  commemorating  on 
earth.  How  solemn  is  this  ordinance !  God  grant  that  I 
may  never  receive  it  unworthily.  I  love  to  pray,  and  desire 
to  be  ever  in  the  spirit  of  prayer.  I  have  been  unusually 
contented  this  week,  and  think  I  have  enjoyed  prayer  more 
than  ever  before." 

Of  the  sincerity,  earnestness,  and  dependence  upon  God, 
with  which  the  course  of  Susan  Allibone,  as  a  professed  dis- 
ciple of  Christ,  began,  we  have  in  the  foregoing  lines  the 
clearest  evidence.  The  varied  steps  of  her  Christian  expe- 
rience, the  lights  and  shadows  that  fell  upon  her  pathway, 
were  truthfully  inscribed  upon  the  pages  of  the  Diary  which 
she  kept  for  her  own  edification,  but  from  which  we  now  ven- 
ture to  cull  large  extracts  for  the  benefit  of  others.  As  a 
sensitive  and  shrinking  female,  she  might  have  deprecated 
this  exposure  of  her  unstudied  pencillings,  the  confidential 
outpourings  of  the  soul  to  itself  and  its  God.  But  as  one 
Avhose  supreme  desire  was  to  glorify  her  Redeemer,  and  win 
souls  to  Jesus,  she  would  doubtless  merge,  without  hesitation, 
all  personal  considerations  in  the  great  object  of  magnifying 
Christ.  And  no  other  hand  can  like  her  own  do  justice  to 
the  reality  and  depth  of  her  spiritual  exercises,  and  to  the 


32  CATHOLIC     SPIRIT.  [1833. 

gradual  development  and  growing  beauty  of  lier  Christian 
graces. 

From  the  date  of  her  connexion  with  the  visible  Church  of 
Christ,  as  above  recorded,  she  continued  a  warmly-attached 
communicant  of  the  Episcopal  Church  ;  and  the  tie  formed,  in 
the  fervor  of  her  first  love,  with  St.  Andrew's,  Philadelphia, 
continued  unbroken  until  death.  She  happily  exhibited  that 
most  desirable  combination  of  zealous,  aifectionate  preference 
for  her  own  communion,  with  genuine,  large-hearted  sympathy 
towards  all  who  "loved  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  in  sincerity." 
"Wherever  she  recognized  the  image  of  Christ,  she  looked 
upon  it  Avith  pleasure  and  gratitude.  Truly  Catholic  were 
her  feelings  towards  all  Christian  bodies  who  held  the  great 
Head.  Yet  while  full  of  charitable  allowance  for  honest  dif- 
ferences of  opinion,  she  could  never  connive  at  the  confound- 
ing of  truth  and  error,  nor  surrender  her  own  convictions  of 
the  teachings  of  the  word  of  God.  She  was  at  once  the 
faithful,  loving  child  of  her  own  Church,  and  the  liberal, 
candid,  fellow-disciple  of  all  whom  she  felt  to  be  brethren  in 
like  precious  faith.  Narrow,  intolerant  bigotry,  and  lax  in- 
diiference,  were  alike  foreign  to  her  character.  Her  prefer- 
ence for  her  own  household  of  faith  never  made  her  blind  to 
the  excellencies  of  real  Christians  of  other  names.  Yet  that 
preference  was  decided,  and  grew  stronger  with  increasing 
knowledge  of  the  word  of  God,  and  of  the  admirable  adapta- 
tion of  the  services  and  provisions  of  the  Church  to  her 
varying  exigencies.  ^ 

In  a  letter,  dated  1834,  she  writes  to  a  sister: — "Sunday 
I  should  not  have  desired  to  spend  at  home,  but  I  was  not 
without  a  blessing,  though  I  could  not  go  to  the  sanctuary. 
I  read  our  communion-service  with  an  increasing  conviction 
of  its  solemnity  and  propriety.  Are  you  not  thankful  that 
our  steps  have  been  guided  into  the  fold,  in  which  we  have 
found  such  green  pastures  ?  I  hope  we  shall  be  enabled  to 
realize  more  fully  that  of  us,  unto  whom  much  is  given,  much 


1833.]  THE    LITURGY.  33 

will  be  required.  We  ouglit  to  offer  continually  the  sacrifice 
of  thanksgiving,  and  to  pay  our  vows  unto  the  Most 
High." 

The  Liturgy  of  the  Church  was .  very  precious  to  Miss 
Allibone.  It  furnished  a  meet  channel  for  the  holy  breath- 
ings of  her  soul,  and  aided  her  spirit  in  its  soarings  heaven- 
ward. While  permitted  to  engage  in  the  devotions  of  the 
sanctuary,  its  prayers  and  praises  were  to  her  soul  a  feast  of 
fat  things,  a  table  richly  furnished  in  the  wilderness.  And 
when  increasing  illness  shut  her  out  from  the  services  of  the 
Lord's  house,  her  prayer-book  was  her  constant  companion, 
and  the  delightful  solace  of  her  chamber  of  sickness.  In  her 
own  volume  she  inscribed  the  words  of  Dr.  Adam  Clark : 
"Next  to  the  Bible,  the  Prayer-Book  is  the  book  of  my 
understanding  and  my  choice."  The  experience  of  Miss 
Allibone,  of  the  blessed  adaptation  of  the  Liturgy,  is  in  per- 
fect accordance  with  that  of  the  devout  and  spiritually-minded 
Simeon.  Of  the  service  in  his  College  chapel,  he  remarks,  in 
sketching  the  commencement  of  his  religious  life  :  —  "  The 
service  in  our  chapel  has  almost  at  all  times  been  very  irre- 
verently performed ;  but  such  was  the  state  of  my  soul  for 
many  months  from  that  time,  that  the  prayers  were  as  mar- 
row and  fatness  to  me.  Of  course,  there  was  a  great  diifer- 
ence  in  my  frames  at  difierent  times ;  but  for  the  most  part 
they  were  very  devout,  and  often,  throughout  the  greater  part 
of  the  service,  I  prayed  unto  the  Lord  with  strong  crying 
and  tears.  This  is  a  proof  to  me  that  the  deadness  and 
formality  complained  of  in  the  worship  of  the  Church,  arise 
far  more  from  the  low  state  of  our  graces,  than  from  any 
defect  in  our  Liturgy.  If  only  we  had  our  hearts  deeply 
penitent  and  contrite,  I  know  from  my  experience  at  this 
hour,  that  no  prayers  in  the  world  could  be  better  suited  to 
our  wants,  or  more  delightful  to  our  souls." 

To  St.  Andrew's  Church,  Miss  Allibone's  heart  ever  clung 
with  undiminished  love.  Its  ministrations  were  associated 
c 


r 


34  ST.   ANDREW'S,    PHILADELPHIA.  [UB33. 

■with  her  early  impressions  of  the  things  that  are  unseen  and 
eternah  There  she  had  found  the  peace  which  the  world 
cannot  give,  and  uttered  her  vows  of  self-consecration  to  her 
Lord.  The  word  there  preached  with  so  much  unction  hj 
the  revered  Bedell  had  come  with  life  and  power  to  her  soul ; 
and,  after  she  began  to  know  the  Lord,  the  ministry  of 
the  same  faithful  ambassador,  and  of  his  like-minded  suc- 
cessor, the  Rev.  John  A.  Clark,  contributed  to  her  steady 
advance  in  the  knowledge  and  love  of  Christ.  He,  to  whom 
her  soul  was  lifted  up  in  earnest  devotion,  sent  her  help  from 
the  sanctuary,  and  strengthened  her  out  of  Zion.  And  the 
temple  in  which  she  had  so  often  tasted  of  the  loving-kind- 
ness of  the  Lord  was  very  dear  to  her  soul.  She  regarded 
it  as  her  spiritual  home,  esteemed  its  different  pastors  very 
highly  in  love,  and  maintained  with  them  a  confidential  in- 
tercourse after  she  was  debarred  from  attending  their  public 
services. 

This  attachment  was  as  truly  based  upon  enlightened  con- 
viction, as  upon  early  affectionate  association.  The  exposi- 
tions of  the  Gospel,  which  she  there  heard,  commended  them- 
selves to  her  conscience  as  sound  and  scriptural.  The 
evangelical  views  of  religion  which  she  adopted,  under  the 
instructions  of  her  earliest  pastors,  she  never  saw  reason  to 
change. 

The  more  deeply  she  studied  the  Divine  Word,  and  the 
greater  need  she  felt  of  the  sustaining  power  of  its. truths  in 
the  time  of  suffering,  the  stronger  and  more  decided  became 
her  convictions  upon  this  point.  No  memoir  would  do  justice 
to  her  sentiments,  or  be  entitled  to  confidence  as  a  fair  exhi- 
bition of  her  character,  that  left  out  of  view  her  clearly-defined 
opinions.  There  was  nothing  negative  or  indifferent  in  the 
temper  of  Miss  Allibone's  mind.  Her  disposition  was  not 
one  to  leave  important  subjects  unsettled,  or  questions  of  real 
moment  unexamined.  She  sought  to  form  her  views  from  the 
word  of  God,  and  when  convinced  of  their  truth  she  held 


1833.}  EVANGELICAL    VIEWS.  35 

them  Tvith  firm,  lyii'elaxmg  grasp.  Charity  and  kindness  for 
those  who  differed  from  her,  never  led  her  to  undervalue  or 
concede  aught  that  she  was  persuaded  was  part  of  God's  reve- 
lation. Most  earnestly  did  her  soul  embrace  the  great  foun- 
dation-truth, that  "  we  are  accounted  righteous  before  God, 
only  for  the  merit  of  our  Lord  and  Saviour  Jesus  Christ,  by 
Faith,  and  not  for  our  own  works  and  deservings."  "That 
we  are  justified  by  Faith  only"  was,  to  her  spiritual  taste,  "a 
most  wholesome  doctrine,  and  very  full  of  comfort,"  "yea, 
sweeter  than  honey  and  the  honey-comb."  She  loved  to  look 
at  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  and  to  speak  of  Him,  and  praise 
Him,  as  "the  Lord  our  righteousness;"  and  renouncing  all 
works,  graces  and  merits  of  her  own,  she  found  herself  "com- 
plete in  Him." 

From  her  first  experimental  acquaintance  with  the  truth  as 
it  is  in  Jesus,  and  from  the  hour  of  her  baptismal  profession, 
up  to  the  closing  triumph  of  her  death-bed,  she  was  of  one 
mind,  fixed  and  unwavering  in  her  adherence  to  those  doc- 
trinal views  with  which  are  inseparably  connected,  in  the 
American  Episcopal  Church,  the  names  of  Griswold  and  Be- 
dell:  while,  at  the  same  time,  the  loving  spirit,  the  "most 
excellent  gift  of  charity,"  so  pervades  and  hallows  all  her 
effusions,  that  no  one  can  doubt  that  her  heart  was  large 
enough  to  comprehend  brethren  and  friends  who  saw  not 
with  her  eye  to  eye,  and  that  for  them  also  her  fervent 
prayers  and  benedictions  never  ceased  to  flow. 


CHAPTER    III. 

1833. 

Ill  health  —  Fortitude  and  Submission  —  Letters  to  Suffering  Friends — 
Efforts  to  do  Good  —  Enjoyment  of  the  Beauties  of  Nature  —  Temora 
—  Dr.  Bedell's  Illness  —  Birth-day  Reflections. 

The  greater  part  of  Miss  Allibone's  life  was  passed  in  the 
chamber  of  sickness,  and  upon  the  bed  of  pain.  Physical 
suffering,  and  that  of  no  common  severity,  was  her  lot.  A 
torturing  malady  caused  her  sleepless  nights  and  wearisome 
days,  cut  her  off  from  the  enjoyments  of  active  life,  and  made 
her  a  prisoner  and  an  invalid.  To  those  upon  whom  life's 
bright  morn  is  opening,  such  a  visitation  is  peculiarly  trying ; 
and  to  one  endued  with  a  disposition  so  lively  and  energetic, 
the  privations  of  sickness  would  have  seemed,  we  might  fancy, 
almost  insupportable.  A  few  weeks  or  months  of  such  debility 
and  agony  as  were  her  frequent  portion,  would  have  exhausted 
the  patience  of  many  a  sufferer.  In  her  case  it  was  not  for 
months,  but  for  year  after  year,  that  the  heavy  hand  of 
disease  lay  upon  her.  In  her  twentieth  year  she  began  to 
suffer  from  a  spinal  affection,  and  the  year  that  followed  was 
one  of  extreme  physical  anguish. 

In  January,  1834,  after  a  consultation  of  physicians,  she 
was  advised  to  confine  herself  to  her  chamber,  and  was  in- 
duced to  submit  to  very  painful  remedies.  Her  Diary  and 
letters  will  show  the  submissiveness  of  her  spirit  to  a  dispen- 
sation so  trying.  But  others  than  herself  could  best  appre- 
ciate her  surprising  fortitude  and  unmurmuring  cheerfulness. 
To  say  that  she  was  wholly  resigned  to  her  Father's  will 
would  convey  but  a  faint  idea  of  the  reality.  There  was  a 
lively  satisfaction  with  the  dealings  of  her  Almighty  Friend, 
a  calm  confidence  in  his  love,  a  chastened  joy,  an  unbroken 

f36) 


1833.]  ILL-HEALTH.  37 

serenity  that,  to  be  appreciated,  must  have  been  witnessed. 
She  was  one  who  "  rejoiced  in  tribulation."  She  not  only 
bowed  to  the  rod,  but  kissed  it.  She  exemplified,  beautifully 
and  strikingly,  one  of  her  favorite  texts,  "  Strengthened 
with  all  might,  according  to  Ilis  glorious  power,  unto  all  pa- 
tience and  long-suffering,  with  joyfulness."  The  sunshine  of 
her  soul  was  constantly  beaming  from  her  bright  and  peaceful 
countenance,  and  lighting  up  her  apartment  with  its  hallowed 
radiance.  With  her  sick-room  there  were  no  associations  of 
gloom  and  sadness.  No  murmur  of  fretfulness  or  repining 
was  ever  heard  there,  no  expression  of  impatience  or  discon- 
tent escaped  her  lips.  Even  to  the  youthful  and  the  gay,  it 
wab  an  attractive  spot,  redolent  of  affectionate  words,  bright 
looks  and  delightful  intercourse.  Her  apartment,  as  was 
said  of  the  Rev.  E.  Bickcrstcth's  during  his  illness,  was  "  a 
chamber  of  light,  and  love,  and  peace,  and  praise."  Those 
who  are  familiar  with  prolonged  illness — who  know  the  ten- 
dency of  continued  and  excessive  suffering  to  depress  the 
spirit,  and  sadden  the  countenance — who  know  how  the  invalid 
becomes  morbidly  engrossed  with  his  own  ailments,  and  com- 
paratively indifferent  to  all  beside,  cannot  but  admire  the 
effects  of  divine  grace  in  her  uniform  patience,  cheerfulness, 
sympathy  with  others,  and  forgetfulness  of  self.  One  of  the 
first  allusions  to  her  ill-health,  in  her  Diary,  is  dated 

'■'■May  10th,  1833. —  I  have  been  unable  to  write.  I  am 
well  convinced  that  it  is  good  for  me  to  be  afflicted,  and  I  do 
not  even  desire  to  suffer  less,  if  I  am  thereby  enabled  to  grow 
in  grace.  '  Sweet  are  the  uses  of  adversity.'  Last  Sunday 
was  communion-day,  and  I  could  not  go  to  church.  I  was 
very,  very  much  disappointed,  but  felt  very  thankful  that  I 
had  not  to  go  out  of  my  chamber  to  obtain  a  blessing." 

"'■June  Wih. —  Have  not  felt  well  all  day,  and  now  feel 
almost  bowed  down  under  my  often  infirmities ;  head  feels 
strangely ;  pain  along  my  spine,  breast  and  side,  and  feel 
quite  sick.     I  want  to  see  my  mother  —  I  am  sick  at  heart — 

4 


38  FORTITUDE    AND    SUBMISSION.  [1833. 

I  want  somebody  to  pet  me.  How  mucli  better  would  it  be 
for  me  to  look  to  my  Heavenly  Father  for  strength  to  endure 
patiently  the  suffering  with  which  He  sees  good  to  afflict  me. 
I  trust  that,  at  the  last  day,  I  may  be  found  among  those  of 
whom  it  is  said,  '  And  God  shall  wipe  away  all  tears  from 
their  eyes,  and  there  shall  be  no  more  death,  neither  sorrow, 
nor  crying,  neither  shall  there  be  any  more  pain,  for  the 
former  things  are  passed  away.' 

"  Through  the  grace  of  my  Heavenly  Father,  I  have  been 
enabled  to  bless  Him  for  my  sufferings,  because  I  know  they 
conduce  to  my  spiritual  welfare.  I  have  often,  and  I  think 
I  may  say  generally,  enjoyed  more  peace  of  mind  when  con- 
fined by  sickness,  than  when  in  comparative  health,  for  I  have 
not  been  quite  well  for  a  long  time.  It  seems  to  me  that  I 
feel,  every  day,  an  increasing  affection  for  the  people  of  God, 
and  I  am  sometimes  disposed  to  be  encouraged  by  this.  '  We 
know  that  we  have  passed  from  death  unto  life,  because  we 
love  the  brethren.'  It  is  a  peculiar  sentiment,  such  as  others 
have  never  had  the  power  to  excite.  I  feel  myself  so  inferior 
to  those  who  are  truly  pious,  and  yet  so  desirous  to  be  like 
them.  Oh!  I  am  but  a  beginner  in  the  Christian  race  —  a 
very  child ;  yet  if  I  only  believe,  I  know  that  no  good  thing 
shall  be  wanting.  How  much  cause  have  I  to  lament  my  un- 
belief! Truly  it  may  be  said  o£me,  '  0  thou  of  little  faith.' 
My  hourly  prayer  is,   'Lord,  increase  my  faith.' " 

^^ August  22(7. —  I  have  not  been  able  to  scribble  even  a 
few  lines,  for  a  long  time,  and  am  scarcely  able  to  write  now. 
During  the  greater  part  of  the  last  two  weeks  I  have  been  con- 
fined to  my  bed,  and  am  still  a  prisoner,  with  no  prospect  of 
immediate  release,  as  for  several  weeks,  I  expect,  the  doctor 
will  continue  his  applications.  This  prospect  would  seem 
dreary,  especially  as  I  am  thereby  depi'ived  of  my  long  an- 
ticipated visit  to  Bucks  County ;  but  I  am  very  thankful  that 
I  have  been  enabled  to  say  in  my  heart,  '  It  is  good  for  me 
that  I  have  been  afflicted.'  .  I  have  felt  cheerful  and  happy; 


1833.]  CONSOLATION.  39 

and  with  liumility  would  add  that  I  trust  I  have  been  enabled 
to  grow  in  grace,  and  in  the  knowledge  of  the  Lord  Jesus 
Christ.  I  have  sought,  and  can  truly  say  I  have  found 
'grace  to  help  in  time  of  need.'  I  love  to  pray,  better  than 
before,  and  can  often  feel  that  my  prayers  are  heard.  I  feel 
as  though  the  truths  contained  in  Scripture  were  more  deeply 
impressed  upon  my  mind ;  and  the  atonement  of  my  Saviour 
is  clear  to  my  view  as  the  knowledge  of  my  existence,  though 
I  never  in  my  life  have  doubted  it  for  a  single  moment.  I 
do  also  trust  that  I  have  been  enabled  to  accept  Him  as  my 
Saviour,  and  believe  that  my  love  for  Him,  and  my  faith  in 
Him,  will  be  increased.  It  is  the  earnest  and  almost  con- 
tinual prayer  of  my  heart  that  it  may  be  so. 

"  How  much  I  need  !  How  strange  it  is  that  I  can  ever 
forget  that  the  eye  of  God  is  on  us  all  the  day,  or  should 
ever,  for  a  moment,  suffer  myself  to  love  the  world,  and  the 
things  of  the  world,  so  well  as  I  sometimes  do.  How  incon- 
sistent, how  unworthy  I  am  !  yet  now  that  I  confess  it,  I  do 
not  feel  it  as  I  ought. 

'When  I  turn  mine  eyes  within, 
Oh  how  dark,  and  vain,  and  wild, 
Prone  to  unbelief  and  sin, 
Can  I  deem  myself  thy  child  V 

"Yes,  my  Heavenly  Father,  I  feel  that  I  am  —  that  thou 
art  drawing  me  nearer  and  nearer  to  thyself,  and  that  I  shall 
yet  rejoice  in  Him  who  is  the  help  of  my  countenance,  and 
my  God.  Oh,  take  away  those  lurking  clouds  of  unbelief — 
take  away  this  mournful  proneness  to  sin  ! 

*' '  The  dearest  idol  I  have  known, 
Whate'er  that  idol  be, 
Help  me  to  tear  it  from  Thy  throne, 
And  worship  only  Thee,' 

is  the  sincere  prayer  of  my  heart,  and  surely  it  will  be 
answered." 


40  SUBMISSION.  [1833. 

To  a  friend  slie  -writes  : 

"  It  would  grieve  me  much  to  learn  that  thy  ailments  have  in- 
creased, were  I  not  well  persuaded,  from  continued  experience,  that 
every  trial  composes  part  of  the  process  employed  by  our  Heavenly 
Father  for  the  purification  of  our  hearts ;  and  while  we  are  merci- 
fully enabled  to  realize  this  truth,  we  shall  learn  to  'glory  in  tribu- 
lation/ knowing  that  its  end  will  be  '  the  love  of  God  shed  abroad  in 
the  heart,'  its  reward  '  an  eternal  weight  of  glory.'  I  am  most 
grateful  that  to  us  has  been  granted  a  desire  to  exercise  unqualified 
submission  to  the  will  of  God ;  and  I  feel  assured  that  while  he  will 
spare  us  no  trial  needful  for  our  good,  we  shall  always  be  enabled  to 
realize  that  his  strength  will  be  made  perfect  in  our  weakness." 

To  another  she  writes: 

''I  was  surprised  to  hear  of  thy  sickness,  I  was  about  to  say  sorry, 
but  I  am  not,  for  I  trust  thee  will  find  that  it  has  been  blessed  to 
thee.  One  hour  of  severe  pain  is  enough  to  convince  us  of  the  in- 
sufficiency of  the  world  and  its  vanities  to  cheer  and  sustain  us;  and 
our  Heavenly  Father  is  so  merciful  as  to  send  us  frequent  lessons  of 
the  kind,  to  wean  us  from  all  other  dependence,  and  to  teach  us  to 
rely  upon  Him  alone.  Thee  seemed  so  sad  when  thee  was  in  town. 
If  thee  judges  me  worthy  of  thy  confidence,  write  to  me,  and  tell  me 
the  reason;  I  can  at  least  pray  for  thee.  I  am  sorry  thee  cannot 
overcome  thy  reluctance  to  converse  on  the  subject  which  so  much 
occupies  thy  thoughts.  I  know,  from  experience,  that  this  is  a  great 
obstacle  to  our  growth  in  grace.  Oh,  what  a  blessed  thing  it  is  that 
we  have  a  Counsellor  on  high,  who  ^understands  the  language  of  a 
sigh  '  the  falling  of  a  tear,  the  upward  glancing  of  an  eye,'  where 
no  eye  rests  upon  us  but  His  own;  that  when  'we  know  not  what 
to  pray  for  as  we  ought,  the  Holy  Spirit  maketh  intercession  for  us 
with  groanings  which  cannot  be  uttered.' " 

Counsels  of  submissiveness,  from  the  pen  of  Susan  Alli- 
bone,  were  clothed  with  power.  Iler  friends  saw  in  her  the 
living  example  of  what  she  urged ;  and  while  they  marvelled 
at  the  grace  given  lier  patiently  to  endure  the  afflictive  will 
of  God,  they  could  not  but  lay  to  heart  her  affectionate  per- 
suasives to  resignation  and  acquiescence  under  their  own 
trials. 


1833.]  SUBMISSION.  41 

In  illustration  of  tlic  impression  produced  upon  those  who 
visited  her  couch  of  languishing,  the  following  extract  is  made 
from  a  letter  of  condolence,  received,  after  her  decease,  from 
a  highly  esteemed  friend : 

"  I  have  often  been  struck  by  the  unselfishness  of  your  sister. 
Most  persons,  aflfiicted  as  she  was,  would  have  had  but  one  topic  for 
her  friends,  would  have  spoken  of  nothing  but  their  own  trials; 
whereas,  unless  I  asked  her  if  she  suffered  much  pain,  she  would  not 
say  a  word  on  the  subject,  and  always,  if  I  introduced  it,  ran  into 
some  happy  allusion  to  the  support  she  experienced,  the  goodness  of 
God  to  her,  or  somewhat  of  the  kind.  But  she  was  keenly  alive  to 
the  troubles  and  afflictions  of  others ;  and  however  trivial  they  might 
be,  compared  with  her  own,  she  seemed  vastly  more  affected  by 
them." 

The  reader  will  therefore  bear  in  mind  that  the  allu- 
sions to  suffering  and  illness,  which  occur  in  the  following 
pages,  are  from  one  of  uncommon  fortitude  and  patience, 
habitually  uncomplaining  under  excessive  weakness  and 
painfulness.  It  was  in  spite  of  the  languor  and  debility 
of  disease  that  she  labored  so  earnestly  for  the  spiritual  good 
of  others.  In  the  earlier  years  of  her  Christian  life,  while 
yet  permitted  to  participate  in  the  worship  of  the  sanctuary, 
she  often  sought  out  her  friends  to  induce  them  to  go  with 
her  to  the  place  which  she  had  found  to  be  "  none  other  than 
the  house  of  God  and  the  gate  of  heaven,"  And  while  scarce 
able  to  drag  her  own  enfeebled  body  to  the  Lord's  house,  she 
could  not  forbear  laborious  exertions  to  bring  to  the  same 
hallowed  spot  those  whose  souls  were  precious  to  her. 

At  a  later  period,  it  was  during  intervals  of  relief  from 

attacks  of  intense  severity,  and  complete  exhaustion,  that  she 

addressed  her  numerous  correspondents  in  a  manner  so  suited 

to  their  respective  wants.    Rising  above  all  considerations  of 

self,  she  entered,  with  her  whole  heart,  into  their  trials  and 

perplexities,  joys  and  sorrows,  hopes  and  fea,rs,  and  wrote  or 

dictated  the  welcome  effusions  of  her  sympathy  and  love. 

4* 


42  ENJOYMENT    OP    NATURE.  [1833. 

Iler  letters,  which  Avill  constitute  a  large  part  of  the  present 
work,  need  no  commendatory  preface.  Their  sentiment  and 
feeling,  their  appropriateness  and  expressiveness,  their  happy 
introduction  of  the  truths  and  texts  of  Scripture,  their  grace- 
ful, unstudied  ease,  and  striking  originality  of  thought,  will 
speak  their  own  best  eulogium.  But  as  intellectual  composi- 
tions they  are  more  remarkable,  from  the  circumstances  under 
which  they  were  written.  They  are  not  only  the  productions 
of  an  enlarged,  cultivated,  vigorous  mind  —  the  outpourings 
of  a  loving,  affectionate  heart,  exhibiting  throughout  perfect 
refinement  and  delicacy  of  taste ;  but  they  are  the  triumph 
of  the  active  mind  over  the  languishing  body,  of  the  willing 
spirit  over  the  weak  and  sinking  flesh,  of  expansive  friendship 
and  kindliness  over  the  importunate  claims  of  the  diseased 
and  shattered  earthly  tabernacle.  The  unwearied  activity, 
sprightliness,  and  clearness  of  her  mind  under  such  burdens 
and  clogs  —  its  undiminished  sympathy  and  outgoing  affec- 
tion—  its  fertility  of  invention,  justness  of  reasoning,  felicity 
of  illustration,  and  energy  of  action,  are  a  striking  evidence 
of  the  inherent  superiority  of  mind,  and  its  independence  of 
matter,  as  well  as  of  the  sustaining  grace  of  Him  whose 
strength  is  made  perfect  in  weakness. 

An  intense  enjoyment  of  the  beauties  of  nature  was  one  of 
the  marked  traits  of  Miss  Allibone's  character.  With  a 
vivid  and  ever  fresh  delight,  she  gazed  upon  the  works  of 
her  Almighty  Friend  and  Father.  Her  quick  observing  eye 
—  her  refined  taste  —  her  ready  perception  of  the  grand,  the 
beautiful  and  the  beneficent,  fitted  her  to  drink  in  high 
satisfaction  from  all  the  productions  of  creative  wisdqm  and 
goodness.  But,  above  all,  her  warm  and  elevated  piety  en- 
hanced these  gratifications.  "  My  Father  made  them  all," 
was  an  ever-present  thought.  She  beheld  the  verdant  land- 
scape not  only  as  sparkling  in  the  sunbeam,  and  fanned  by 
the  refreshing  breeze,  but  as  bathed  in  the  sunlight  of  divine 
benevolence,  and  breathed  upon  by  the  spirit  of  the  living 


1833.]  ENJOYMENT     OF     NATURE.  43 

God.  The  field  and  the  forest,  with  their  joyous  tenantry, 
canopied  by  the  o'erarching  firmament,  whether  rich  with  the 
deep  azure  of  day,  or  radiant  with  the  mysterious  splendors 
of  night,  were,  to  her  sanctified  imagination,  a  glorious  tem- 
ple consecrated  by  His  presence  who  formed  and  sustains  the 
whole.  With  glowing  rapture  her  heart  was  lifted  up  to  the 
great  Architect,  Preserver  and  Sovereign.  In  the  leafy 
grove,  or  beside  the  gliding  river,  she  loved  to  walk  in  soli- 
tude, for  she  walked  with  God,  and  held  sweet  converse  with 
her  unseen,  ever-present  Friend.  And  when  increasing  ill- 
ness deprived  her  of  those  excursions  into  the  country,  from 
which  she  had  derived  such  exceeding  enjoyment,  instead  of 
repining  at  the  disappointment  and  loss,  she  found  no  less 
cause  for  admiration  and  gratitude  in  the  tastefully  arranged 
flowers  that  adorned  her  chamber,  or  the  glimpse  of  sky  and 
verdure  that  she  could  obtain  through  her  window.  The 
following  letter  will  illustrate  her  vivid  enjoyments  of  this 
kind : 

"  I  congratulate  you,  my  dear  cousin,  upon  the  pleasurable  feel- 
ings which  have  been  awakened  by  the  return  of  spring.  I,  too, 
love  this  season  of  birds  and  flowers,  and  bright  sunshine ;  and  if 
my  life  be  prolonged  to  await  their  coming,  I  earnestly  desire  that, 
with  a  prepared  heart,  I  may  welcome  these  beautiful  gifts  of  our 
Heavenly  Father's  love.  But  I  am  not  glad  to  see  the  winter  pass 
away  :  very  precious  are  its  quiet  days  and  long  evenings ;  and  its 
snow-storms  and  leafless  trees  are  to  me  peculiarly  attractive.  The 
western  sky,  too,  has  afforded  me  much  enjoyment;  the  bright 
moonlight  illumines  my  chamber,  and  sometimes  I  can  see  a  few 
stars,  and  upon  them  I  have  always  loved  to  look.  Do  you  wonder 
at  my  taste  ?  Remember  that  I  love  your  favorite  season,  too, 
and  many  a  grateful  feeling  has  been  awakened  by  the  pure  air  and 
modest  flowers  of  spring.  The  lily  of  the  valley  is  among  her  rich- 
est treasures;  its  fragrance  reminds  me  of  the  holy  influence  the 
Christian  should  diffuse,  and  its  pendent  bells  of  that  most  blessed 
grace — humility.  Near  flowing  streams,  and  in  shady  places,  blooms 
this  most  beautiful  of  flowers.  Oh,  that  we,  too,  may  be  ever  re- 
freshed by  the  fountain  of  the  water  of  life,  and  hide  ourselves  b^,- 


44  T  EM  OR  A.  [1833. 

neath  the  shadow  of  the  Cross.  It  was  once  one  of  my  greatest  de- 
lights to  pass  hours  in  the  shady  woods  of  summer,  where  I  found 
one  of  the  most  sacred  oratories  I  have  ever  visited.  The  musical 
sound  of  the  gurgling  stream ;  the  deep  green  foliage,  and  the  soli- 
tude, which  would  have  been  profound,  had  not  the  wood-robin,  or 
some  other  wild  bird,  poured  forth  its  warblings,  have  often  caused 
the  chord  of  thanksgiving  to  vibrate,  and  enabled  me,  I  trust,  to 
make  '  melody  in  my  heart  to  the  Lord.'  I  will  not  say  how  much 
I  love  the  autumn,  too ;  for  I  have  descanted  enough  upon  the 
changing  seasons.     *     *     * 

"  The  rich  treasures  of  wisdom  and  knowledge  which  are  hid  in 
Christ  Jesus  are  objects  of  sufficient  interest,  and  more  than  com- 
pensate for  all  the  privations  of  sickness;  and  I  have  never  for  one 
moment  regretted  that  I  cannot  revisit  those  scenes  of  former 
interest."     *     *     * 

In  her  earlier  days,  one  of  her  frequent  and  favorite  ex- 
cursions was  to  a  country-seat  of  her  brother-in-laAV,  in  Bucks 
County,  Pennsylvania.  There  her  taste  for  rural  beauties 
■was  fully  gratified  ;  and  the  banks  of  the  Neshamony  were 
the  scene  of  her  frequent  meditations.  Much  of  her  Diary, 
and  many  of  her  letters  are  dated  at  Temora,  the  name  of 
this  delightful  and  much-loved  retreat.  The  first  allusion  to 
it  in  the  Diary  is  dated 

'•'■May  31s^,  1833. — Left  home  yesterday  morning.  It 
is  so  refreshing  to  the  spirit  to  return  once  more  to  the 
beauties  of  nature  after  a  dreary  imprisonmicnt  in  the  walls 
of  a  city.  And  yet  I  should  not  say  dreary^  for  there  I  can 
enjoy  the  society  I  most  desire  ;  and  privileges,  for  the  loss 
of  which  I  cannot  be  fully  compensated.  I  retired  early, 
but  not  before  I  had  most  earnestly  implored  the  blessing  of 
my  Heavenly  Father  upon  my  sojourn  in  the  country,  and 
prayed  that  the  contemplation  of  the  beauties  of  nature 
might  elevate  my  feelings,  and  impress  my  heart.  I  must 
endeavor  to  overcome  my  habit  of  unprofitable  imaginations 
and  vain  speculation,  and  I  trust  that  I  shall  become  more 
humble  and  believing. 
^    "  This  morning  is  beautiful.     The   sun   sliining  brightly, 


1833.]  DR.    bedell's   illness.  45 

and  the  birds  singing  in  the  trees.  I  arose  about  six,  and 
wish  to  form  a  habit  of  early  rising." 

"  June  1st. — The  sun  has  set,  and  this  is  my  favorite  por- 
tion of  the  day.  This  is  the  hour  when  memory  takes  a  sur- 
vey of  the  past,  and  it  is  the  most  seasonable  for  reflection, 
and  I  do  trust  that  I  shall  be  enabled  to  render  it  profitable. 
I  have  wasted  time  enough  in  castle-building.  I  have  always 
enjoyed  a  Sabbath  in  the  country.  In  the  solitude  of  na- 
ture, I  have  had  impressions  as  serious  as  the  eloquence  of 
the  pulpit  ever  had  power  to  excite.  You  can  then  hold 
"  communion  sweet,  communion  large  and  high  "  with  na- 
ture's God.  I  feel  very  much  encouraged  that  I  have  been 
enabled,  in  a  great  degree,  to  overcome  my  habit  of  castle- 
building,  and  the  indulgence  of  romantic  visions  of  happi- 
ness, which  has  at  times  been  so  powerful  as  to  destroy  the 
interest  I  ought  to  feel  for  those  rational  pursuits,  and  to 
render  me  almost  incapable  of  the  exercise  of  my  judgment. 
I  have  found  the  practical  achievement  of  this  victory  more 
difficult  than  almost  anything  I  ever  undertook ;  I  do  not 
despair,  however,  of  entire  success." 

''June  loth. — Mrs.  W.  tells  me  Dr.  Bedell  is  so  ill. 
Though  I  Avas  well  acquainted  with  his  illness,  I  cannot  get 
over  it.  Would  that  I  had  profited  more  by  his  instructions. 
I  am  under  greater  obligations  to  him  than  to  any  human 
being,  and  I  confidently  pray  that  he  may  receive  a  rich  in- 
crease of  that  grace  in  which  he  has  already  so  much  cause 
to  rejoice.  May  I  at  last  meet  him  in  heaven.  I  believe  I 
shall,  through  the  mercy  of  my  Heavenly  Father. 

"  Sunday,  Twilight.  — 7  How  sweetly  the  birds  sing  this 
afternoon.  It  would  almost  seem  that  they  know  it  is  the 
Sabbath,  and  were  uniting  their  lively  voices  in  one  glad 

song  of  praise.     I  intended  going  to  Mr. 's  church, 

but  there  was  no  service,  so  I  accompanied  the  girls  to 
Wrightstown.  I  am  sorry  to  say  that  I  was  not  much  pro- 
fited.     I   felt   almost  too  weak   and   exhausted   to   sit   in 


46  BISHOP   heber's  letters.  [1833. 

Friends'  meeting  at  all,  and  I  did  not  sufficiently  endeavor 
to  control  my  thoughts.  I  do  feel  very  sorry  for  it,  We 
have  had  company  to-day,  and  my  head  aches  so  after  din- 
ner that  I  feel  as  if  I  could  not  sit  up,  so  I  have  wasted  a 
great  part  of  this  Sahbath,  and  it  may  be  the  last  I  shall 
ever  pass  on  earth.  Oh,  for  a  Sabbath  of  eternal  rest !  I 
nsed  to  think  I  could  not  be  happy  in  heaven,  but  I  now 
feel  so  impatient  to  get  there.  Surely  I  shall,  through  the 
grace  of  our  Saviour." 

"  27f A.  —  This  afternoon  I  have  been  sitting  under  the 
pine-tree,  reading  Bishop  Heber's  Letters.  How  interesting 
they  are  !  They  evince  at  once  sensibility  and  religion.  In 
reading  of  the  difficulty  of  procuring  clergymen  in  India, 
and  the  limited  opportunities  Christians  there  possess  of  at- 
tending religious  worship,  I  was,  I  think,  more  forcibly 
struck  with  a  sense  of  gratitude  for  the  blessings  I  possess 
in  this  respect.  They  ought  to  be  a  source  of  constant 
thanksgiving  ;  and  how  great  should  be  my  improvement 
under  such  circumstances.     Alas,  how  inadequate  is  it ! 

"  This  is  the  delightful  hour  of  sunset.  I  do  trust  that  I 
am  growing  in  grace ;  but  I  am  so  afraid  of  self-deception, 
and  am  so  wavering,  that  I  fear  to  make  such  a  record." 

"  Sunday,  July  1th. — '  The  light  of  Sabbath  eve  is  fading 
fast  away.'  I  have  not  spent  it  ^profitably,  as  I  ought,  and 
yet  I  have  enjoyed  a  portion  of  it  very  much.  I  was  not 
well  enough  to  go  out,  and  we  have  had  no  company,  at  least 
I  have  seen  none.  I  do  enjoy  seclusion  from  the  world,  and 
if  I  could,  at  the  same  time,  shut  out  vain  thoughts,  how 
glad  I  should  be !  If  I  could  but. for  one  hour  banish  every 
worldly  imagination  and  incumbrance,  it  would  be  the  most 
precious  portion  of  my  life.  How  can  I  ever  think  well  of 
myself  when  I  am  obliged  to  make  the  confession,  that  I 
have  never  spent  an  hour  as  I  should  ? 

'  From  flesh  and  sense  I  would  be  free, 
And  hold  communion,  Lord,  with  thee.' 


1833.]  REFLECTIONS.  47 

"  It  often  makes  me  unhappy  that  I  can  do  no  more  to  aid 
the  cause  of  religion  ;  but  I  know  the  desire  is  equally  ac- 
ceptable to  our  Heavenly  Father,  and  I  trust  that,  if  I  should 
ever  possess  the  power,  tliere  may  be  an  equal  readiness  ; 
and,  in  the  mean  time,  let  me  remember  that  I  must  not  de- 
spise the  day  of  small  things,  and  though  I  cannot  do  much, 
I  must  always  exert  myself  to  do  the  best  that  my  circum- 
stances allow.  At  least,  I  can  pray  that  the  cause  may  suc- 
ceed ;  and  that  I  Avill  do,  most  fervently. 

"  I  feel  this  morning  far  from  well,  and  in  so  much  suffer- 
ing that  no  position  seems  to  relieve  me,  and  almost  unable 
to  exert  myself;  but  I  enjoy  what  is  better  than  health, — 
peace  of  mind,  that  I  trust  proceeds  from  a  right  source. 
My  prayer  is  that  I  may  be  encompassed  with  pain  and  in- 
firmity all  my  life,  if  I  may  be  thereby  led  to  consider  my 
latter  end,  to  grow  in  grace,  and  the  knowledge  of  my  natural 
depravity,  and  of  our  Lord  and  Saviour  Jesus  Christ.  I  am 
engaged  in  reading  William  Penn's  "No  Cross,  no  Crown." 
What  an  excellent  thing  it  is  !  It  contains  some  short  bio- 
graphies of  good  men,  that  I  find  very  interesting. 

"13f/i. — Nearly  all  of  this  week  I  have  passed  upon  my 
couch,  and  have  endured  some  of  the  most  exquisite  suffer- 
ings I  have  ever  known ;  but,  upon  an  average,  the  week  has 
been  a  happy  one.  I  have  had  much  pleasure  in  reading, 
and  trust  that  I  have  also  derived  some  benefit ;  —  certain  it 
is  that  I  have  been  far  from  unhappy.  It  is  not  true  that  the 
mind  and  body  always  sympathise,  for  I  have  often  felt  most 
happy  when  most  afflicted. 

"  17th. — The  sun  will  soon  set.  This  is  a  lovely  after- 
noon. I  am  sitting  out  on  the  lawn,  and,  while  I  survey  the 
beautiful  scene  around  me,  feel  as  peaceful  and  serene  as  the 
prospect.  I  think  I  have  never  enjoyed  such  calmness  and 
freedom  from  excitement  as  in  the  last  few  weeks.  I  think 
sometimes  that  I  shall  not  live  much  longer,  and  I  feel  so 
happy,  because  the  nearer  my  approach  to  eternity,  the  more 


48  REFLECTIONS.  [1833. 

I  become  weaned  from  the  world  and  its  vanities.  And  yet 
my  affection  for  those  I  love  is  more  intense  than  ever.  How 
little  they  imagine  its  extent !  The  sun  is  now  setting.  The 
glorious  sun  never  loses  its  interest.  '  So  gently  flows  the 
parting  breath,  when  good  men  cease  to  be.'  I  do  not  ask 
that  I  may  go  down  like  that  sun,  but  that  my  last  hour  may 
be  peaceful  and  calm  as  the  setting  of  some  little  star.  I 
have  no  wish  to  leave  a  brilliant  light  behind  me,  but  I  would 
have  the  pleasant  ray  of  affection  to  gild  my  last  moments, 
and  to  remain  when  I  am  in  the  dust. 

"What  shall  I  do  when  I  return  to  the  bustle  of  the  city ! 
I  am  very  thankful  for  the  comfort  I  have  enjoyed  while  thus 
separated  from  my  friends.  I  have  more  fully  realized  the 
power  of  religion  than  ever  before.  I  have  passed  many 
hours  of  delightful  communion  and  meditation,  and  humbly 
trust  that  my  strength  to  resist  evil  is  increased.  I  am  so 
thoroughly  convinced  of  the  necessity  of  laying  aside  every 
weight,  and  religion  seems  so  lovely  to  me  that  I  do  not  feel 
inclined  to  indulge  earthly  desires,  or  to  listen  one  moment 
to  the  voice  of  temptation.  But,  alas  !  I  know  my  heart  too 
well  to  believe  that  this  will  always  continue.  I  am  a  mortal, 
and  a  very  unstable  one,  too.  Temptations,  within  and  with- 
out, will  assail  me  as  long  as  I  continue  in  this  world  of  sin, 
and  my  most  earnest  prayer  is.  that  I  may  be  endued  with 
strength  to  resist  them.  My  besetting  sin  is  self-confidence, 
the  greatest  of  all  dangers.  My  most  fervent  prayer  is,  '  Oh, 
save  me  from  myself !' 

"  Had  we  no  eternity  in  view,  how  much  more  desirable  it 
is  to  enjoy  the  peace  and  happiness  of  submission  to  the  will 
of  our  Heavenly  Father,  than  all  the  pleasures  that  this 
world  can  afford  !  Even  the  best  and  most  refined  of  earthly 
enjoyments  are  insecure.  '  Oh,  ever  thus  from  childhood  have 
I  seen  my  hopes  decay,'  but  in  Jesus  we  have  peace. 

"  23t?.  —  Last  evening  was  very  quietly  spent.  E.  F.  H. 
and  I  were  together.     We  all  profess  the  name  of  Jesus,  and 


1833.]  BIRTHDAY    REFLECTIONS.  49 

I  pray  that  we  may  glorify  it  unto  the  end  of  our  lives.  I 
feel  so  humble,  so  unworthy,  when  I  am  in  the  society  of 
Christians.  Oh,  that  I  may  grow  in  grace  !  I  am  but  learn- 
ing, and  I  trust  I  may  never  cease  to  learn.  May  God  pre- 
serve me  from  affected  humility  ! 

'■'■Monday  evening. — After  an  absence  of  two  months,  I 
have  at  last  returned  to  my  beloved  home,  with  a  heart  full 
of  gratitude  to  my  Heavenly  Father,  that  his  mercy  has  re- 
turned me  to  my  friends,  and  that  I  have  found  them  in  health 
and  happiness. 

'■'■July  2Wi. — This  is  the  evening  of  my  birthday.  Another 
year  has  passed  of  my  short  life.  Its  retrospection  affords 
me  a  sad  view  of  misspent  time,  indifference,  doubts  and 
fears,  even  when  most  interested.  But  a  ray  of  light  is  shed 
upon  this  dark  scene,  a  ray  of  hope  and  peace.  I  trust  that 
during  the  past  year  a  most  important  change  has  taken 
place  in  my  heart  and  life.  Oh,  may  it  become  greater  and 
greater.  May  the  grace  of  my  Heavenly  Father  keep  me 
from  falling,  and  if  it  so  please  Him  that  I  should  ever  see 
another  birthday,  may  its  retrospect  afford  me  more  pleasure. 
May  I  have  obtained  a  rich  increase  of  grace. 

"  oQth.  —  I  fear  an  unprofitable  day,  some  few  moments, 
perhaps,  redeemed,  but  too  many  of  misspent  time.  When 
shall  I  be  delivered  from  the  influence  of  my  own  evil 
nature ! 

'^Aug.  1st.  —  Nothing  good  to  record  of  myself.  How  I 
mourn  the  coldness  of  my  heart !  A  strange  mood  has  come 
over  me.  I  feel  almost  incapable  of  exertion  of  any  kind, — 
so  languid  and  so  weak. 

"  '  0  for  a  gleam  of  heavenly  day, 
To  take  this  stubborn  heart  away  V 

"  In  the  evening  I  went  to  prayer-meeting.     I  enjoyed  it 

unusually.     It  is  so  delightful  to  be  favored  once  more  with 

the  means  of  grace,  after  having  been  for  a  season  partially 

deprived  of  them.     Towards  the  close  of  the  meeting,  dear 

D  5 


50  CHURCH    PRIVILEGES.  [1833. 

Mr.  Bedell  came  in,  and  I  was  rejoiced  once  more  to  hear 
liim.  He  was  very  affectionate.  On  Sunday  morning  I 
attended  church.  It  was  a  day  I  have  been  long  antici- 
pating, —  let  me  not  soon  forget  it.  I  trust  that  my  prayer 
for  strength  to  endure  the  sufferings  I  expect  to  undergo 
with  fortitude,  and  that  I  may  derive  spiritual  benefit  from 
them,  may  be  answered.  In  the  evening  I  went  again  to 
church.  The  afternoon,  too,  was  very  pleasantly  spent  with 
cousin  R.,  who,  I  believe,  is  a  true  Christian. 

'■'■Aug.  Wth. —  This  is  the  first  day  I  have  been  able  to  sit 
up  since  last  Tuesday.     I  have  suffered  much  pain. 

'■'•  Sunday,  25th. —  This  has  been  a  beautiful  day,  and  I  have 
tried  very  much  to  enjoy  it,  but  cannot  say  I  have  entirely 
succeeded.  In  the  first  place  I  was  so  much  disappointed 
that  I  could  not  go  to  church,  and  though  I  knew  it  was  per- 
fectly right  that  I  should  stay  at  home,  I  did  not  feel  quite 
resigned  when  I  heard  of  the  delightful  sermon  Mr.  Bedell 
had  preached,  and  that  he  intended  to  finish  it  in  the  after- 
noon. E.  told  me  the  greater  part  of  it,  and  it  must  have 
been  the  very  kind  of  sermon  that  I  should  have  liked. 

^'■Thursday,  Sept.  5th.  —  Last  Sunday  I  was  permitted,  to 
my  great  joy,  to  go  to  church.     We   had  a  sermon  from 

Mr. ,  and  though  it  was  not  generally  liked,  I  enjoyed 

it.  I  have  been  too  long  deprived  of  the  means  of  grace  to 
be  very  hard  to  please.  It  was  communion,  and  I  trust  my 
prayer  was  answered,  that  it  might  really  prove  to  me  a 
communion  Sabbath,  though,  as  usual,  I  had  many  unprofit- 
able thoughts  to  regret.  When  I  first  went  into  church,  I 
felt  very  weak,  and  as  I  had  promised  to  go  out  if  I  was 
unwell,  I  very  much  feared  that  I  must ;  but  I  prayed  that 
my  Heavenly  Father  would,  if  it  were  His  will,  give  me 
strength  to  remain,  that  I  might  enjoy  the  privilege  of  com- 
munino-.  I  felt  much  better  afterwards,  and  trust  I  was  en- 
ablcd  to  remember  much.  How  much  dearer  do  our  blessings 
become  after  we  have  been  deprived  of  them ! 


1833.]  DESIRES    FOR    HOLINESS.  51 

^^Sept.  list.  —  I  feel  to-day  such  a  settled  purpose  to  give 
up  all  for  religion,  that  I  think  this  purpose  is  made  in  the 
strength  of  the  Lord,  and  that  "I  shall  find  that  all-sujQ&cient. 

"  '  We  trust  not  in  our  native  strength, 
But  on  Ilis  grace  rely/  assured 
'  That  with  returning  wants,  the  Lord 
Will  all  our  need  supply.' 

"  I  would  that  every  feeling  were  subdued  that  ever  has, 
or  may,  interfere  between  me  and  my  God.  Oh,  that  I  could 
banish  all  these  sinful  doubts,  but  I  will  not  listen  to  them. 
I  will  cast  my  care  on  Him  who  careth  for  me. 

"  I  have  been  accused  of  bigotry  and  narrow-mindedness, 
because  I  have  refused  to  read  some  Unitarian  books.  Is  it 
so?  0,  my  Heavenly  Father,  I  beseech  Thee,  for  Jesus' 
sake,  to  take  from  my  heart  all  uncharitableness,  and  at  the 
same  time  to  preserve  me  from  temptation  —  to  deliver  me 
from  evil.  Teach  me  thy  will.  I  know  that  I  shall  not  be- 
come an  unbeliever,  because  my  trust  is  in  Thee.  0  preserve 
me  from  resorting  one  moment  to  myself.  Help  me  to  give 
up  every  energy  to  Thee. 

^^Oct.  Sth. —  Last  Sunday  was  communion-day.  Oh,  how 
different  does  that  sacrament  now  appear  to  me  !  It  at  first 
seemed  a  solemn  duty,  but  its  performance  did  not  afford  as 
much  pleasure  as  it  now  does.  I  did  not  deem  it  so  much  a 
privilege  as  I  now  do. 

"  I  do  think  I  am  more  deeply  interested  in  religion  than 
ever.  How  much  I  desire  the  entire  sanctification  of  my 
heart !  How  ardently  do  I  hunger  and  thirst  after  righteous- 
ness !  1  shall  be  filled,  I  know,  through  the  mercy  of  my 
Saviour.  I  wish  I  had  more  faith  and  earnestness.  I  have 
always  so  much  to  repent  at  the  close  of  the  day, — misspent 
time,  always,  and  too  often  unchristian  feelings  and  conduct. 


CHAPTER   IV. 

1833. 

Solicitudes  for  others  —  Wide  and  Lasting  Results  —  The  Christian  in 
her  Family  —  Letters  to  a  Sister  —  Close  of  the  Year. 

When  the  Apostle  Andrew  had  been  pointed  by  John 
the  Baptist  to  the  Lamb  of  God,  and  recognized,  in  Jesus  of 
Nazareth,  the  long-expected  "  Consolation  of  Israel,"  his 
first  impulse  was  to  hasten  to  "his  own  brother  Simon"  with 
the  joyful  intelligence,  "  We  have  found  the  Messias  :  and 
he  brought  him  to  Jesus."  When  Simon  Peter  was  himself 
forewarned  of  his  approaching  fall  by  his  compassionate 
Lord,  with  the  assurance  that  He  had  prayed  for  him  that 
his  faith  might  not  fail,  this  intimation  of  eventual  recovery 
is  accompanied  by  the  injunction,  "  When  thou  art  converted, 
strengthen  thy  brethren."  When  the  Psalmist  confessed  his 
guilt,  and  implored  pardon  with  such  unfeigned  contrition, 
the  trust  of  his  grateful  soul  in  the  mercy  of  God  leaps  forth 
in  strong  desires  to  make  his  fellow-sinners  partakers  of  the 
same  grace,  "  Cast  me  not  away  from  thy  presence ;  and 
take  not  thy  Holy  Spirit  from  me.  Restore  unto  me  the  joy 
of  thy  salvation ;  and  uphold  me  with  thy  free  Spirit.  Then 
will  I  teach  transgressors  thy  ways,  and  sinners  shall  be 
converted  unto  thee." 

Of  the  lesson  inculcated  in  such  passages,  the  lesson  of 
real  solicitude  for  the  spu'itual  and  eternal  good  of  others, 
the  desire  to  bring  them  that  have  no  hope,  and  are  without 
God  in  the  Avorld,  to  taste  and  see  how  gracious  the  Lord  is, 
Susan  Allibone  was  an  apt  learner.  No  sooner  was  her  own 
heart  cheered  with  the  hope  of  pardon  and  heaven,  than  she 
longed  to  impart  that  hope  to  all  around  her.     None  could 

(52) 


1833.]  RESULTS.  53 

hold  intercourse  with  her,  by  "word  or  letter,  without  being 
impressed  with  her  fervent  zeal  and  her  love  for  souls. 
"  The  mind  that  was  in  Christ  Jesus"  was  breathed  into  her 
bosom,  and  constantly  shone  forth  in  speech  and  action. 
Her  missionary  zeal  was  a  steadily  burning  light,  diffusing 
rays  of  holy  influence,  and  enhvening  many  by  its  cheering 
glow.  To  win  souls  to  Christ  was  pre-eminently  her  delight, 
and  her  heart  warmed  towards  all,  however  humble  their  sta- 
tion, or  separate  from  her  own  their  walk  in  life,  whom  she 
might  hope  to  attract  into  the  fold  of  the  good  Shepherd. 
And  God  crowned  her  efforts  with  abundant  success.  Her 
intercessions  were  not  spent  in  air.  Her  endeavors  to  benefit 
and  bless  those  for  whom  she  longed  in  the  bowels  of  Christ 
Jesus,  were  not  as  water  spilled  upon  the  ground.  In  the 
comparative  seclusion  of  her  darkened  room  she  not  only 
cherished  a  missionary  spirit,  but  did  a  missionary  work. 
Many  whose  eyes  will  rest  upon  this  page,  have  been  in- 
debted to  her,  under  God,  for  the  hope  that  is  in  them,  and 
for  counsel,  encouragement,  warning  and  consolation,  for 
which  they  feel  they  can  never  be  too  grateful.  Among 
those  profited  by  her  faithful  and  impressive  teachings,  some 
are  now  laboring  in  the  ministry  of  reconciliation ;  and  not 
only  the  ranks  of  the  ministry  at  home,  but  the  band  of  de- 
voted foreign  missionaries  has  been  recruited  by  her  un- 
quenchable zeal.  Of  those  whom  she  was  the  instrument  of 
leading  to  Jesus,  some  have  preceded  her  to  the  better 
country  to  which  she  had  directed  their  hopes.  The  author 
ventures  the  assertion  that  his  reader  will  be  struck  with  ad- 
mu-ation  at  the  rare  union  of  fidelity  and  plainness  of  speech, 
with  tenderness,  consideration  and  good  judgment  which 
mark  her  efforts.  She  was  ever  ready  to  embrace  the  propi- 
tious moment  for  reminding  the  impenitent  of  the  claims  of 
God,  and  of  the  great  interests  of  the  soul.  She  spoke  the 
truth  without  concealment  or  reserve.  And  yet  was  she 
never  obtrusive,  or  forgetful  of  others'  feehngs,  or  injudi- 

5* 


54  THE     CHRISTIAN    IN    HER    FAMILY. 

cious,  or  assuming.  There  was  so  much  good  sense  and 
appropriateness,  as  well  as  humility  and  benevolence,  in  all 
her  attempts,  that  none  could  take  them  ill.  However  disin- 
clined any  might  be  to  the  counsel,  they  could  not  but  respect 
and  love  the  gentle  monitor.-  And  whenever  success  was 
granted  to  any  of  her  appeals,  the  whole  glory  was  given  to 
God.  Vanity  and  self-esteem  were  never  fed  by  the  infor- 
mation that  her  efforts  had  been  attended  with  a  blessing. 
With  utter  self-renunciation  every  trophy  was  humbly  cast, 
where  she  is  now  permitted  to  cast  her  crown  of  righteous- 
ness, even  at  the  feet  of  Him  who  sitteth  upon  the  throne. 

While  her  expansive  charity  glowed  for  all  sorts  and  con- 
ditions of  men,  and  all  souls  were  precious  to  her  because 
Jesus  had  died  for  them,  it  will  be  readily  anticipated  that 
for  those  bound  to  her  by  ties  of  kindred,  and  endeared  by 
intimate  intercourse,  this  feeling  was  peculiarly  vivid.  In 
the  sacred  circle  of  home  not  only  did  her  holy  example 
shine  with  attractive  lustre,  but  for  its  dear  inmates  her 
prayers  were  unremitting,  and  to  them  her  conversations  and 
letters  were  richly  blessed.  To  her  family  she  was  a  trea- 
sure beyond  price.  In  cherishing  her  with  overflowing  fond- 
ness they  were  not  like  those  who  "  entertain  angels  un- 
awares," for  none  felt  the  unearthly  purity  and  sweetness  of 
her  character  like  those  who  saiy  her  most  frequently  and 
unconstrainedly.  They  will  pardon  such  an  exhibition  of 
her  feelings  and  affections  towards  themselves,  as  might  else 
seem  an  invasion  of  domestic  sanctity,  for  the  sake  of  that 
Saviour's  glory,  whose  living  epistle  she  ever  was  in  her  own 
home.  The  Christian  daughter,  sister,  kinswoman,  may  be 
introduced  in  these  pages,  acting  the  part  for  which  the  Lord 
designed  her,  and  showing  how  perfectly  and  beautifully 
divine  grace  can  adorn  and  sanctify  the  charities  of  the  fire- 
side. The  same  feelino;  which  led  Andrew  to  seek  first  his 
own  brother  Simon,  directed  her  earliest  efforts  towards  the 
salvation  of  those  who  Avere  nearest  and  dearest  to  her  heart. 


1833.]  LETTERS    TO    A    SISTER.  55 

She  writes  in  her  Diary : 

'■'•April  19^7/,  1833. — I  have  now  such  cause  for  thankful- 
ness, that  I  ought  never  again  to  repine.  One  of  my  very 
dearest  friends  is  very  seriously  impressed,  and  I  doubt  not 
will  be,  ere  long,  induced  to  accept  the  offers  of  salvation.  I 
was  very  happy  yesterday." 

The  following  letters  are  among  the  first  of  her  efforts  to 
make  her  pen  the  medium  of  spiritual  counsel : 

To  her  Sister  S. 

"  I  think  I  shall  not  do  wrong,  my  dear  sister,  in  writing  to  you 
this  morning,  since  it  is  my  prayer  that  I  may  indeed  be  prevented 
from  '  speaking  my  own  words,'  and  that  the  Holy  Spirit  may  influ- 
ence my  he'art  in  alluding  to  that  subject  which  I  trust  is  most  in- 
teresting to  us  both.  I  sometimes  feel  tempted  to  ask  myself 
whether  there  is  not  some  degree  of  presumption  mingled  with  my 
attempts  to  benefit  others  in  this  way,  and  to  shrink  from  the 
weighty  responsibility  I  thus  incur.  The  knowledge  of  the  awful 
danger  and  sinfulness  of  speaking  or  writing  on  this  subject  in  my 
own  strength,  induces  me  to  pray  very  earnestly  and  very  frequently 
that  I  may  never  be  induced  to  do  it  j  and  I  would  not  dare  to  com- 
mence a  letter,  or  a  conversation,  on  religious  subjects,  without  a 
special  petition  that  the  Lord  would  be  with  me.  And  since  I  am 
conscious  that  it  is  only  His  Spirit  that  is  able  to  implant  in  the 
heart  the  earnest  desire  I  sometimes  feel  for  the  salvation  of  others, 
I  am  encouraged  to  believe  that  my  efforts  for  their  good,  feeble  as 
they  are,  come  from  Him,  and  will  be  blessed  by  Him,  and  to  Him 
I  would  give  all  the  glory.  Oh  !  I  wish  that  I  could  feel  so  deeply 
my  own  entire  depravity,  and  be  so  impressed  with  a  view  of  the  in- 
finite majesty  and  purity  of  the  Lord  of  Hosts,  that  a  thought  of 
pride  or  of  self-complacency  might  never  again  come  nigh  me.  I  see 
the  necessity  and  the  beauty  of  humility,  and  I  feel  that  it  is  a  vir- 
tue that  I  do  not  possess.  I  pray  for  it,  and  I  believe  that  it  will 
be  granted  to  me. 

"All  this  time  I  have  been  speaking  of  myself;  but  my  object  in 
writing  to  you  this  morning  is  to  speak  to  you  of  the  concerns  of 
your  own  soul  —  a  liberty  that  I  feel  myself  constrained  to  take,  not 
only  by  a  sense  of  duty  and  the  impulses  of  affection,  but  by  the 
confidence  you  have  placed  in  me,  and  for  which  I  feel  thankful  to 


56  LETTERSTOASIvSTER.  [1833. 

my  Heavenly  Father,  and  to  you  in  having  made  me  acquainted 
with  your  feelings  and  de.sires  on  this  subject.  I  know  not  how  far 
these  desires  have  increased,  or  the  exact  nature  of  your  feelings  at 
this  moment,  for  we  have  no  verbal  intercourse  on  this  theme.  I 
have  several  times  inquired  of  myself  the  cause  of  our  mutual 
silence  :  mine  has  been  caused,  I  think,  by  a  knowledge  of  your  re- 
luctance to  speak  of  it,  a  fear  of  darkening  counsel  by  words  without 
knowledge,  and,  I  am  afraid,  a  want  of  faith  and  the  absorbing  in- 
terest I  ought  to  feel.  I  trust  that  all  the  weaknesses  of  my  nature 
may  be  overcome  by  the  mighty  power  of  the  grace  of  God,  and  that 
I  may  be  enabled  with  boldness  to  speak  of  these  things  whenever 
I  shall  be  made  to  feel  it  my  duty.  I  do  pray  for  you,  and  think 
about  you  a  great  deal,  my  dear  sister ;  but  I  am  often  struck  with 
my  comparative  indifference  to  your  spiritual  welfare,  and  then  I 
feel  very  glad  that  God  loves  you  so  much  better  than  I  do ;  that 
He  is  ever  watching  over  you  for  good ;  and  that,  if  you  will  trust 
in  Him,  He  will  never  leave  nor  forsake  you.  Follow  on  to  know 
the  Lord,  and  you  tvill  find  Him.  Do  please  be  very  attentive  to 
the  whisperings  of  the  still  small  voice,  and  abandon  every  thing 
which  may  cause  it  to  speak  reproachfully  to  your  heart.  My 
Heavenly  Father  knows  that  I  do  not  speak  this  in  a  spirit  of  dicta- 
tion, for  I  know  that  I  have,  in  many  things,  grieved  the  Holy 
Spirit,  and  I  know  that  I  often  do  now ;  but  He  will  forgive  us  the 
sin  which  doth  so  easily  beset  us.  Let  it  be  our  constant  prayer, 
'Let  not  any  iniquity  have  dominion  over  raej'  'Quicken  me  after 
Thy  loving  kindness,  so  shall  I  keep  the  testimony  of  Thy  mouth.' 
Oh  !  may  we  be  enabled  to  realize  the  things  of  eternity,  and  to  re- 
member that  after  our  short  period  of  jprobation  shall  be  ended  here, 
we  must  be  eternally  happy  or  miserable.  It  is  a  very  solemn  thought, 
and  I  wish  that  it  were  ever  with  me."   . 

To  the  same. 

July  15tb,  1833. 
"  I  feel  often  as  though  it  would  be  very  sinful  for  me  to  repine 
if  I  were  to  suffer  much  more  than  I  do,  for  I  invariably  experience 
the  most  unmerited  kindness  and  attention.  It  is,  and  ever  MiW  be 
impossible  for  me  to  discharge  the  many  debts  of  gratitude  I  owe. 
I  can,  however,  and  do  most  earnestly  pray  that  my  Heavenly 
Father  will  discharge  them  all.  I  may  much  longer  continue  to  re- 
quire the  kindness  that  is  ever  so  liberally  extended,  or  I  may  need 
it  but  for  a  little  while.     It  is  a  matter  of  little  moment,  if  I  be  but 


1833.]  LETTERS    TOA    SISTER,  57 

endued  with  faith  and  patience  to  the  end.  \Yhen  I  compare,  dear 
sister,  the  extent  of  life  with  the  unlimited  duration  of  eternity,  1 
wonder  that  I  can  ever  suffer  my  feelings  to  be  engrossed,  for  one 
moment,  by  the  trifles  that  I  often  suffer  to  occupy  them.  '  For 
what  is  your  life  ?  It  is  even  a  vapor  that  appeareth  for  a  little  time, 
and  then  vanisheth  away.'  I  would  that  every  moment  of  my  time 
were  spent  in  preparation  for  another  and  better  world. 

"  My  conscience  has  often  reproached  me  for  the  inconsistent  con- 
duct you  have  witnessed.  Do  not  let  it  influence  your  feelings,  my 
dear  sister,  but  rather  let  it  warn  you  against  the  indulgence  of  self- 
dependence,  for  while  we  earnestly  implore  strength  from  above,  and 
depend  upon  that  alone,  we  shall  most  assuredly  be  *  kept  from  fall- 
ing.' I  know,  from  my  own  experience,  that  it  is  very  discouraging 
to  witness  the  imperfections  of  those  who  profess  an  earnest  desire 
to  be  free  from  them ;  but  it  is  not  right  to  be  influenced  in  this 
manner  by  the  example  of  others,  for  it  is  not  by  them,  but  with 
them,  we  shall  be  judged.  I  do  pray  that  I  may  be  enabled  to  be 
more  consistent,  for,  indeed,  weak  and  unworthy  as  I  am,  I  feel  a 
sincere  desire  to  cmcify  the  flesh  and  the  affections  thereof. 

"  Dear  sister,  do  strive  to  early  impress  upon  the  mind  of  my  dear, 
dear  W.,  the  necessity  of  setting  his  affections  upon  things  above. 
He  may,  perhaps,  have  to  endure  much  suffering,  and  he  will  then 
be  blessed  with  an  unfailing  source  of  consolation." 

To  tlte  same. 

Nov.  6th,  1833. 

"  Solitude  is  certainly  very  favorable  to  religious  influences ;  the 
mind  is  freed,  at  least,  from  outward  sources  of  excitement,  and  is 
at  liberty  to  look  inward.  We  can  then,  in  some  degree,  ascertain 
the  height  and  depth  of  our  religious  feelings. 

"  We  need  not  be  discouraged,  my  dear  sister,  while  we  arc  sen- 
sible of  our  deficiency,  and  deeply  deplore  it.  He  who  causes  us  to 
*  hunger  and  thirst  after  righteousness,'  will  surely  grant  the  desires 
His  grace  has  implanted  in  our  hearts.  If  we  can  only  so  far  divest 
ourselves  of  self-righteousness,  as  to  rely  implicitly  on  the  mercy  of 
our  Saviour,  and  believe  that  He  will  surely  .grant  us  all  we  need, 
it  will  be  with  us  *  according  to  our  faith.'  We  shall  go  on  *  from 
strength  to  strength.'  But  we  look  so  much  at  our  own  hearts,  we 
feel  how  worthless  and  sinful  they  are,  and  think  too  often  that  we 
must  wait  until  they  are  better  before  any  thing  can  be  done.  If, 
instead  of  this,  we  would  go  to  our  Redeemer,  and  ask   Him  to 


58  LETTEP.  STOASISTER.  [1833. 

'  cleanse  the  thoughts  of  our  hearts  by  the  inspiration  of  His  holy 
Spirit/  to  'create  in  us  new  hearts,  and  to  renew  a  right  spirit 
within  us/  He  would  give  us  strength  and  help.  Is  it  not  strange 
that  we  are  not  more  deeply  interested  in  this  all  important  subject? 
"  When  I  feel  dissatisfied  with  my  progress  in  spiritual  things,  I 
am  too  apt  to  look  forward  to  the  future,  hoping  that  I  shall  i/row 
in  grace.  But  I  do  not  reflect  as  I  ought,  that  in  this  world  there 
may  be  no  future  for  me,  that  in  one  hour  I  maybe  summoned,  just 
as  I  am,  into  the  presence  of  Him  who  '  is  of  purer  eyes  than  to  be- 
hold iniquity.'  I  think  we  ought  never  to  rest  satisfied  with  our 
spiritual  condition,  until  we  feel  that  we  can,  at  any  moment,  calmly 
resign  ourselves  into  the  hands  of  our  Maker.  I  think  we  ought 
always  to  'knoio  that  we  have  a  house  not  made  with  hands,  eternal 
in  the  heavens.'  We  ought,  indeed,  to  '  reckon  ourselves  to  be  dead 
unto  sin,  but  alive  unto  God  through  Jesus  Christ  our  Lord.'  I 
know  it  is  only  because  we  are  so  unwilling  to  believe,  that  we  are 
so  cold  and  dead  in  our  affections,  and  that  we  are  not  always  filled 
with  '  the  peace  of  God  which  passeth  all  understanding.'  " 

A  subsequent  entry,  one  of  many  like  expressions,  marks 
the  depth  and  intensity  of  her  sanctified  love  : 

"  I  desire  to  have  continual  sorrow  and  heaviness  in  my 
heart  for  those  of  my  family  who  are  out  of  Christ,  and  to 
take  no  rest  until  they  are  converted.  God  grant  that  I  may 
not  be  a  stumbling-block  in  their  way.  Without  Jesus,  I  can 
do  nothing." 

^^  Thursday,  October,  1833. — *^My  Saviour  has  promised 
that  whosoever  cometh  unto  him,  he  will  in  no  wise  cast  out ; 
and  at  times,  when  I  can  feel  the  force  of  this  promise,  I  am 
inspired  with  new  hope  and  zeal ;  and  though  I  know  myself 
to  be  exceedingly  sinful  and  inconsistent,  I  also  feel  that  I 
have  a  Friend  in  heaven  who  will,  with  every  temptation, 
make  a  way  also  to  escape,  and  who  is  ever  ready  to  pardon 
my  transgressions.  How  strange  that  I  do  not  love  Ilim 
more !" 

"  Sunday. — Have  suffered  very  much  this  day,  but  have 
been  very  happy.  If  I  know  myself,  I  feel  willing  to  suffer 
much  more  than  I  do,  to  endure  the  most  excruciating  pain 


1833.]  LETTERS    TO    A    SISTER.  59 

if  I  be  onlj  endued  with  strengtli  to  support  it  with  patience ; 
and  that  this  will  be  granted  I  do  not  fear,  for  though  the 
outward  man  perish,  yet  the  inward  man  is  renewed  day  by 
day." 

To  her  Sister. 

"  I  rejoice,  my  beloved  sister,  that  I  can  address  to  you  the  lan- 
guage of  encouragement,  that  I  can  say,  '  Be  of  good  comfort,  rise, 
He  calleth  thee ;'  and  I  know  that  you  will  arise  and  come  to  Jesus. 
You  will  not,  you  shall  not,  be  '  the  outcast  of  our  consecrated  family.' 
I  have  seldom  been  under  the  influence  of  so  powerful  feelings  as 
were  awakened  by  the  perusal  of  your  letter.  Again  and  again  I 
lifted  up  my  heart  in  thankfulness  to  my  Heavenly  Father,  and  was 
not  afraid  to  say  to  Him,  '  I  know  Thou  wilt  bless  my  sister,  and 
make  her  thine  forever.  '  Wait  on  the  Lord,  be  of  good  courage,' 
and  every  cloud  will  ere  long  be  dissipated  by  the  bright  beams  of 
the  Sun  of  righteousness.  Trust  in  Him,  and  you  will  have  strength 
vouchsafed  for  the  performance  of  every  duty. 

"  I  do  not  doubt  that  you  engage  with  increasing  interest  in  the 
duties  of  religion,  that  you  take  more  and  more  delight  in  reading 
the  Scriptures,  in  prayer,  and  in  waiting  upon  the  Lord  in  His  holy 
temple  :  this  will  ever,  I  trust,  be  your  experience.  But  you  must 
not  be  discouraged  if  you  are  sometimes  troubled  with  a  cold  heart, 
and  wandering  thoughts.  Satan  is  very  unwilling  that  we  should 
enjoy  communion  with  our  Heavenly  Father,  and  incessantly  strives 
to  interrupt  it ;  but,  ray  dear  sister,  if  you  would  be  a  happy  Chris- 
tian, if  you  would  enjoy  '  that  peace  that  passeth  understanding,' 
you  must  never  rest  satisfied  until  '  every  thought  is  brought  into 
captivity  to  the  obedience  of  Christ.'  This  is  the  rule  I  always  keep 
before  me.  I  have  determined  that  I  will  never  cease  this  spiritual 
warfare  while  this  object  is  uuattained  —  until  my  every  thought, 
word  and  deed  is  consecrated  to  the  service  of  God.  Oh  !  how  far 
distant  am  I  from  this  '  mark,'  towards  which  I  trust  we  shall  ever 
'  press  with  vigor  on  !'  In  Heaven,  alone,  we  shall  be  permitted  to 
rest.  There  will  be  no  temptation  there ;  there  we  shall  see  our 
Heavenly  Father's  face,  and  '  never,  never  sin.'  Here  we  must 
watch,  aud  pray,  and  labor ;  there  we  shall  praise  forever  and  for- 
ever. We  know  not,  my  dear  sister,  the  cii'cumstances  which  await 
us  in  this  life;  we  may  be  subjected  to  many  trials,  but  let  us  pray 
that  '  in  all  time  of  our  tribulation,  in  all  time  of  our  prosperity,  in 
the  hour  of  death,  aud  in  the  day  of  judgment,'  our  Saviour  may  be 


60  LETTERTOACOUSIN.  [1833. 

the  strength  of  our  hearts,  tlie  rock  of  our  refuge.  You  must  remem- 
ber me  in  3'our  dail}'  petitions.  Morning,  noon  and  night  I  ask  our 
Father  who  is  in  Heaven  to  bless  and  keep  my  darling  sister." 

To  a   Cousin. 

December,  1833. 
"  Oh,  my  dear  cousin,  how  deep  a  debt  of  thankfulness  shall  we 
owe,  if  our  '  present  afflictions'  which  may  now  seem  to  be  '  grievous,' 
shall  afterward  yield  'the  peaceable  fruits  of  righteousness;'  if  the 
conviction  that  '  this  world  can  never  give  the  bliss  for  which  we 
sigh,'  induce  us  to  seek  for  it  where  alone  it  can  be  found,  where  to 
seek  it  is  to  gain.  I  trust  that  we  have  been  so  blessed,  and  that  it 
will  be  the  will  of  our  Father  in  Heaven  to  perfect  the  work  of  grace 
in  our  hearts,  and  that  in  affliction  we  may  be  enabled  to  say : 

'  'Tis  my  happiness  below, 
Not  to  live  without  the  cross, 
But  the  Saviour's  power  to  know, 
Sanctifying  every  loss ;' 

and  that  if  it  should  be  His  will  to  restore  our  health,  and  to  give  us 
prosperity,  He  will  continue  to  '  lift  up  the  light  of  his  countenance 
iipon  us,'  to  preserve  us  in  'all  time  of  our  prosperity,  in  all  time 
of  tribulation.'  He  will  do  so,  if  wo  only  believe.  And  here,  too, 
we  need  His  grace,  for  without  it  we  cannot  even  trust  Him.  What 
state  of  mind  can  be  more  happy  than  an  entire  reliance  upon  the 
merits  of  our  Redeemer,  an  entire  forgetfulness  of  self,  know  that 
'  our  life  is  hid  with  Christ  in  God  !'  It  is  the  most  ardent  wish  of 
my  soul  to  attain  this  happy  state.  I  had  rather  it  should  be  mine 
than  all  the  treasures  of  earth,  and  I  believe  that  it  icill,  for  it  is  my 
desire  to  '  press  towards  the  mark,'  to  '  lay  aside  every  weight,'  and 
to  '  run  with  patience  the  race  set  before  me.'  All  that  is  necessary 
to  enable  me  to  do  this  is  to  '  look  unto  Jesus,  the  Author  and 
Finisher  of  our  faith.'  What  could  we  do  if  any  other  plan  of  sal- 
vation were  marked  out,  if  any  merit  of  our  own  were  to  save  us,  if 
there  were  'no  balm  in  Gilead  ?'  Dear  cousin,  let  us  trust  this  Sa- 
viour, and  though  we  feel  that  we  are  so  weak  and  so  sinful,  and 
withal  so  self-righteous,  let  us  remember  that  He  has  implanted 
every  holy  desire  and  affection  in  our  hearts,  and  that  in  doing  this, 
He  gives  us  an  earnest  of  what  Ho  will  do  for  us.  Let  us  pray  to 
Him  continually,  and  believe  that  He  will  give  us  'day  by  day  our 
daily  bread,'  and  that  this  will  be  the  bread  of  life.  Oh !  I  wish 
that  I  could  realize  the  love  of  this  Saviour  more ;  but  I  can  truly 
say  that  I  do  '  hunger  and  thirst  after  righteousness,'  and  I  know 


1833.]  LETTERS.  61 

that  I  sliall  be  filled.  Not  tluit  I  am  any  thing,  or  can  do  anything, 
but  because  Christ  died  for  all,  and  God  is  not  willing  that  any 
should  perish,  but  that  all  should  have  everlasting  life.  Do  not  let  us 
despond,  then;  but  if  we  feel  that  we  have  not  attained  what  we 
wish,  say  with  David,  'Why  art  thou  cast  down,  oh  my  soul,  and 
why  art  thou  disquieted  within  me  ?  Hope  thou  in  God,  for  I  shall 
yet  praise  Him  who  is  the  help  of  my  countenance  and  my  God.'  I 
think  one  of  our  besetting  sins  is  ingratitude.  We  think  it  right  to 
mourn  that  we  are  not  what  we  ought  to  be,  and  so  it  is  j  but  we 
forget  what  has  been  done  for  us.  It  ought  to  be  the  ever-dwelling 
sentiment  in  our  hearts,  '  I'less  the  Lord,  oh  my  soul,  and  forget 
not  all  His  benefits.'  While  we  remember  to  pray,  we  ought  not  to 
forget  to  praise. 

"  I  wonder  if  thee  has  ever  read  Legh  Eichmond's  life.  I  think 
I  derived  from  it  more  pleasure,  and  I  trust  more  profit,  than  from 
any  biography  I  ever  read." 

To  Miss  E.  N. 

Philadelphia,  May  10th,  1838. 
''  Thee  is  not  mistaken  in  supposing  that  I  do  not  entirely  ap- 
prove of  a  trifling  style  of  writing,  and  my  conscience  often  reproaches 
me  not  only  on  this  score,  but  for  a  multitude  of  idle  words  and  un- 
profitable imaginations  that  are  ever  ready  to  intrude  upon  my  mind. 
Thee  asks  me  to  write  for  thy  benefit.  Would  that  I  were  more 
competent  to  advise !  My  own  example  and  deficiency  always  occur 
to  me,  when  I  would  advise  others  ;  but  still,  in  spite  of  my  infirmi- 
ties, my  mind  is  so  deeply  impressed  with  a  sense  of  the  importance 
of  religion,  and  of  the  necessity  of  immediate  attention  to  its  interests, 
that  I  would  not  neglect  an  opportunity  of  urging  it  upon  those  I 
love.  What  strange  infatuation  it  is,  that  our  energies  should  be 
dormant,  and  that  we  can  sleep  in  the  midst  of  danger !  Could  we 
be  calm  in  the  battle-field  ?  And  should  we  not  be  more  alive  to 
danger  when  we  are  exposed  not  only  to  foreign  attacks,  but  when 
civil  wars  are  waging  around  us  ?  Could  we  obtain  a  perfect  view 
of  '  that  fearful  sight,  a  naked  human  heart,'  with  what  alarm  and 
dismay  would  we  make  the  dread  survey !  I  feel  more  entirely  con- 
vinced, every  day  of  my  life,  that  '  the  heart  is  deceitful  above  all 
things,  and  desperately  wicked;'  and  it  is  when  the  grace  of  our 
Heavenly  Father  has  implanted  in  our  hearts  a  sense  of  our  infirmity 
that  nature  or  reason  can  never  give,  that  we  learn  in  some  degree 
to  appreciate  the  beauty  of  holiness.    Thee  says,  dear  E.,  that  thee  is 

6 


62  FREENESS    OF    SALVATION.  [1833. 

sensible  of  the  most  entire  indifference  in  regard  to  thy  most  import- 
ant interests.  I  believe  that  thee  has  had  very  serious  impressions, 
and  why  is  it  that  they  do  not  produce  a  permanent  effect  ?  It  is  the 
strange  perversity  of  human  nature. 

"  I  was  reasoning  once  with  Miss  L.,  on  the  depravity  of  the  heart, 
and  she  thought  to  confute  me  at  once  by  asking  me  if  I  thought  I 
would  be  condemned  if  I  were  to  die ;  that  I  had  done  no  harm, 
and  that  God  would  not  certainly  be  so  unjust  as  to  consign  me  to 
eternal  punishment.  I  told  her  that  if  I  were  to  die  that  night,  I 
knew  that  I  could  not  go  to  Heaven.  She  said  that  if  she  believed 
herself  in  such  a  situation,  she  could  not  possibly  rest  or  sleep.  Her 
remark  produced  a  very  powerful  impression,  commonplace  as  it  was. 
Dear  E.,  do  not  waste  thy  time  in  speculation  and  murmuring  that 
thee  is  no  better;  thee  cannot  amend  thy  own  heart.  I  will  extract 
a  passage  from  an  interesting  book  I  borrowed  a  few  weeks  since, 
and  that  I  mean  to  lend  to  thee  : 

" '  I  cannot  doubt  that  the  inquirer  may  be,  in  a  certain  sense, 
truly  sincere,  while  he  hangs  back  in  expectation  of  a  kind  of  men- 
tal discipline,  a  routine  which  he  does  not  understand,  but  which  he 
has  been  taught  to  anticipate;  and  hence  his  common  reply  to  the 
repeated  solicitations  of  the  Gospel  is,  "  I  am  not  prepared."  But 
he  has  conceived  wrong  notions  of  the  scheme  of  redemption.  He 
has  adopted  some  ideas  which  obscure  its  light,  or  embarrass  its  sim- 
plicity with  perplexities  which  ought  to  have  no  connexion  with  it. 
How  strange  a  position  of  affairs  is  this  which  is  supposed  to  be  his  ! 
The  inquirer  is  waiting  for  the  Redeemer,  and  the  Redeemer  waiting 
for  him !  How  inconsistent  with  the  design  of  the  Bible  !  How 
derogatory  to  the  character  of  the  Sa'dour.' 

"Again  :  '  That  the  awakened  sinner  is  not  t-o  remain  idle  is  very 
certain.  He  is  to  renounce  every  habit  or  practice  which  he  knows 
to  be  guilty.  He  is  to  weigh  his  actions  by  the  standard  of  God's 
holy  law.  He  is  to  look  carefully  into  his  disposition  and  temper, 
and  to  turn  from  the  snares  to  which  they  expose  him.  He  is  to 
abandon  all  that  is  at  enmity  with  the  will  of  his  Maker.  But  the 
whole  of  this  is  contemporaneous  with  his  approach  to  Christ ;  it  is 
part  of  the  very  act  of  '^  arising  to  go  to  his  Father."  .... 
Alas!  how  slowly  we  receive  the  blessed  truth  that  salvation  is  free! 
Oh,  why  should  not  the  truth  be  received  as  it  is  ?  The  phj^sician 
of  Gilcad  is  not  only  able,  but  ready  to  administer  a  cure  to  all  who 
sincerely  apply  to  him.  And  can  it  be  necessary  that  they  should 
be  better,  when  they  approach  him,  if  he  can  heal  them  as  they  arc.'  " 


1834.]  REVIEW     OF     THE     YEAR.  63 

'•'-Jan.  1,  1884. — Another  year  is  gone  and  past.  The 
lapse  of  time  has  never  before  so  forcibly  arrested  my  atten- 
tion. The  moment  that  is  lost,  is  lost  forever ;  and  how 
many  have  passed  unimproved,  my  Heavenly  Father  only 
knows.  It  is  to  his  mercy  alone  that  I  can  look  for  forgive- 
ness. Why  is  it  that  my  heart  is  so  ungrateful  for  the  mer- 
cies of  the  year  that  is  past  ?  How  innumerable  they  are  ! 
This  year  has  been  the  most  important  of  my  life.  I  trust 
that  I  can  include  among  these  blessings,  the  chiefest  of  all, 
a  renewed  heart.  Surely  its  impulses  and  desires  are 
changed.  Its  affections  are  transferred  from  earth  to  hea- 
ven, and  it  enjoys  a  degree  of  peace  to  which  it  has  always 
before  been  a  stranger,  '  the  peace  of  God  which  passeth  all 
understanding.'  And  yet  there  is  much  in  this  heart  of 
mine  that  cannot  even  endure  the  test  of  self-examination, 
and  still  less,  a  comparison  with  the  standards  the  Scripture 
gives  us  ;  yet  I  hnow  that  this  good  work  which  God,  in  his 
infinite  mercy,  has  begun  and  continued  in  me,  will  not  be 
suffered  to  remain  unfinished.  I  know  that  it  is  my  Father's 
good  pleasure  to  give  me  the  kingdom ;  and  I  have  com- 
menced this  year  with  an  humble  prayer,  that  I  may  have 
grace  to  go  on  from  strength  to  strength ;  that  every  false 
refuge  may  be  taken  from  me,  whatever  it  may  cost.  '  What 
I  know  not,  teach  Thou  me,'  is  the  sincere  prayer  of  my  heart, 
and  I  feel  an  entire  conviction  that  if  there  is  now  anything 
wrong  in  my  heart — anything  that  keeps  me  from  the  enjoy- 
ment of  perfect  peace — as  I  doubt  not  there  is,  God,  in  His 
infinite  mercy,  will  teach  me  this.  And  I  believe  this,  not 
because  I  am  not  unworthy,  ungrateful,  ever  erring,  but  be- 
cause God  has  promised,  '  Whosoever  will,  let  him  take  of 
the  water  of  life  freely,'  'Ask,  and  it  shall  be  given  you; 
seek,  and  ye  shall  find.'  " 


CHAPTER   V. 

1834. 

Increased  Illness  —  Apprehended  Nearness  of  Death  —  Impressions  of 
a  Work  to  be  done  —  Eleven  weeks'  Confinement. 

In  the  commencement  of  the  jcar  1834,  the  trying  malady 
which  was  to  be  Miss  Allibone's  life-companion,  increased  in 
its  severity,  and  confined  her  for  many  weeks  to  her  apart- 
ment. This  affliction  was  doubtless  intended,  by  Him  who  led  ' 
her  as  a  Shepherd,  to  promote  her  sanctification,  to  perfect 
all  that  was  lacking  in  her  faith,  and  to  prepare  her  for  that 
eminent  holiness  and  usefulness,  by  which  she  should  glorify 
God.  How  meekly,  lovingly,  earnestly,  she  responded  to  the 
gracious  design,  will  appear  from  her  Diary,  meant  for  no  eye 
but  God's,  and  from  her  letters,  intended  only  for  the  eye  of 
friendship.  It  is  a  privilege  to  draw  aside  the  veil  that  con- 
cealed the  secrets  of  this  hallowed  chamber,  and  to  show  how 
the  love  and  presence  of  the  Lord  can  sustain  his  children 
Avhen  ready  to  faint ;  how,  in  the  multitude  of  their  pains  and 
sorrows,  his  comforts  can  refresh  their  souls.  Let  the  repin- 
ing and  discontented,  if  any  such  review  these  pages,  learn 
from  her  example  of  suffering  patience,  the  loving-kindness 
of  the  Lord,  and  blame  their  own  unbelief  and  rebellion.  To 
many,  Susan  Allibone,  prostrated  in  the  bloom  of  youth  by 
incurable  disease ;  enduring,  in  her  seclusion  from  the  world, 
the  extremest  agony,  was  doubtless  an  object  of  much  com- 
miseration. But  no  shadows  brooded  over  her  tranquil  spirit, 
and  her  peace  flowed  as  a  river. 

"  Diary,  Jan.  2^th,  1834.  —  The  first  day  of  my  confine- 
ment to  my  room,  and  passed  in  a  very  pleasant  manner, 
too.     I  besought  the  blessing  of  my  Heavenly  Father  upon 

(64) 


1834.]  INCREASED     ILLNESS.  65 

my  tarriance  here.  I  have  asked  Him  to  sanctify  every  trial 
I  may  be  called  to  endure  ;  to  give  me  patience  under  my  suf- 
ferings, and  a  happy  issue  out  of  all  my  afflictions.  I  do  not 
doubt  that  my  prayers  will  be  more  than  answered,  through 
the  mercy  of  my  Kedeemer,  and  though  I  be  deprived  of 
many  privileges,  my  soul  will  still  be  refreshed  with  heavenly 
showers.  I  read  a  little  in  my  French  Testament ;  have  had 
several  visitors,  and  no  solitude ;  but  have  had  ample  oppor- 
tunity for  the  performance  of  my  duties.  I  am  sorry  they 
have  been  attended  to  with  such  inadequate  interest." 

"  l^th. — This  day  I  feel  so  happy.  I  wonder  that  I  am  so 
ungrateful  for  the  blessings  I  have  received.  My  very  soul 
ought  to  warm  within  me,  but  I  am  often  very  insensible  to 
the  goodness  of  my  Heavenly  Father.  Oh  !  wilt  Thou  not 
create  in  me  a  new  heart,  and  renew  a  right  spirit  within  me  ? 
Make  my  heart  to  overflow  with  love  divine,  all  other  love 
excelling.  Give  me  grace  to  bless  Thee  for  comfort  and  for 
suflering,  for  sorrow  and  for  joy.  Oh !  inspire  my  heart 
with  resignation  to  Thy  will.  Let  not  one  murmuring 
thought  escape  my  heart  or  lips.  Let  me  rather,  oh,  my 
Father,  bless  Thee  that  Thou  hast  deprived  me  of  health,  for 
it  is,  in  truth,  one  of  the  greatest  blessings  Thou  hast  ever 
bestowed  upon  me." 

"  Sunday,  26th. — IIow  pleasantly  has  this  morning  passed, 
part  of  it  in  retirement !  I  trust  that  my  spiritual  interests 
may  not  be  injured  by  my  necessary  deprivation  of  public 
ordinances.     I  pray  that  they  may  not." 

"  Jan.  Slst,  1834.  —  This  has  been  a  year  of  almost  unin- 
terrupted bodily  suffering,  yet,  truly,  I  can  say  it  has  been 
the  happiest  of  my  life.  I  have  been  mercifully  enabled  to 
endure  my  afflictions  as  coming  from  the  hand  of  a  kind 
Heavenly  Father,  and  to  regard  them  as  blessings.  Oh,  I 
hope  I  have  more  dependence  on  the  mercy  of  God  than  ever 
before.  I  have  found  Ilira  a  very  present  help  in  time  of 
trouble.  I  am  not  afraid  to  trust  Him  for  all  to  come. 
E  6* 


6Q  INCREASED    ILLNESS.  [1834. 

"  I  know  that  my  heart  is  very  prone  to  sin,  but  God  is 
greater  than  my  heart ;  and  since  He  has  begun  a  good  worjc 
there,  I  will  not  fear  any  danger,  for  I  feel  that  he  will  per- 
fect it.  I  desire  to  renew  my  covenant  with  Him,  and  im- 
plore Him  to  give  me  a  deeper  sense  of  my  obligations  to- 
wards Him  ;  to  teach  me  that  Avhich  I  know  not ;  to  lead  me 
in  the  paths  of  righteousness  for  His  name's  sake." 

^^  Su7iday,  Feb.  2d.  —  I  trust  this  day  will  be  abundantly 
blessed  to  my  soul.  I  desire  very  much  to  go  to  church,  but 
since  I  cannot  unite  my  praises  with  the  people  of  God,  I 
will  implore  him  to  bless  me  in  the  sanctuary  of  my  chamber. 
I  feel  such  sweet  peace  as  the  world  cannot  give.  This  is 
our  Communion  Sabbath.  I  desire  to  partake  of  the  ordi- 
nance, spiritually,  at  least.  My  dear  sister  is  to  commune 
to-day  for  the  first  time.  She  has  my  most  fervent 
prayers." 

"  Feh.  6th.  —  I  have  not  been  so  unwell  for  two  or  three 
days  past.  So  that  my  inner  man  is  renewed  day  by  day,  I 
care  not  how  soon,  or  how  much  the  outward  man  perish.  I 
feel  grateful  when  I  receive  proofs  of  the  kindness  of  my 
friends.  The  patience  they  commend  is  the  gift  of  my  Fa- 
ther in  Heaven.  He  enables  me  to  endure  suffering,  and 
even  makes  me  thankful  for  it.  I  cannot  bear  it  without  his 
aid.  I  always  ask  for  strength  and  patience,  and  he  gives 
me  all  that  I  need.  I  have  little  doubt  that  I  shall  suffer  as 
long  as  I  live,  and  probably  much  more  than  I  have  ever 
done,  and  linger  for  years  in  suffering ;  but  I  hope  I  shall 
always  say,  '  Thy  will  be  done.'  Why  am  I  not  a  more  de- 
voted Christian  ?  I  must  be  more  earnest  and  frequent  in 
prayer,  and  reading  the  Scriptures. 

"  10th.  —  I  think  an  hour  or  two  of  Sunday  morning  was 
more  happily  spent  than  almost  any  part  of  my  life.  I  love 
to  think  of  my  visit  to  J.  C.  It  has  been  abundantly  blessed 
to  me,  and  I  trust  will  be  as  long  as  I  live.  I  was  recalling 
to  my  mind  his  expressions  of  faith  and  peace,  and  to  do  so 


1834.]  THOUGHTS     OF     DEATH.  G7 

always  encourages  mo,  for  I  know  that  God  is  equally  ready 
to  bless  me." 

"  This  train  of  thought  led  me  to  reflect  upon  death  and 
another  world,  and  the  promises  of  Scripture  were  accom- 
panied with  much  strength  and  consolation  to  my  heart. 
This  evening  I  do  feel  very  happy.  I  have  been  blessed  in 
prayer.  Oh !  why  do  I  not  pray  always  ?  I  wonder  that  I  am 
not  more  in  earnest.  I  do  so  much  pity  those  who  endure  the 
sufferings  of  ill  health  whilst  destitute  of  the  consolations  of 
religion.  I  feel  this  so  sensibly  when  I  see  a  pei'son  sinking 
under  the  ravages  of  disease,  unsupported  by  confidence  in 
God,  and  the  anticipation  of  a  glorious  eternity.  Oh,  should 
not  this  incite  me  to  renewed  watchfulness  and  prayer  ? 
Should  I  not  endeavor,  by  the  grace  of  God,  to  become  a 
blessing  to  those  I  compassionate  ?  And  if  I  can  do  nothing 
else,  should  I  not  earnestly  and  frequently  pray  that  God  will 
lift  up  the  light  of  His  countenance  upon  them  ?  Oh,  I  do  not 
feel  these  things  as  I  would.  I  am  not  humble  enough.  I  wish 
I  could  feel  that  I  grow  in  grace  every  hour.  I  wish  I  could 
pray  always.    I  want  a  deeper  work  of  grace  in  my  heart." 

"  Sunday,  P.  31.  —  I  felt  a  great  desire  to  spend  this  day 
profitably ;  to  consecrate  every  word  and  every  thought  to 
my  Maker ;  but,  as  usual,  I  have  said  and  thought  many 
things  of  a  worldly  nature.  I  have  so  much  company,  and  I 
feel  as  if  I  ought  to  say  nothing  that  has  reference  to  the  con- 
cerns of  this  world,  but  somehow  it  seems  almost  unavoidable. 
I  wish  I  could  be  alone  on  Sunday,  or  see  none  but  those 
whose  feelings  are  in  unison  with  mine.  I  wish  every  one 
who  comes  would  give  me  a  Avord  of  instruction.  This  has  been 
a  beautiful  day.  The  sun  has  been  shining  so  brightly.  The 
church-bells  sound  so  delightfully,  and  I  can  truly  say,  '  My 
soul  hath  a  desire  and  longing  for  the  courts  of  the  Lord.' 
But  God  is  as  ready  to  strengthen  me  upon  the  bed  of  lan- 
guishing, as  to  bless  me  in  the  sanctuary,  if  I  can  only  trust 
in   Jesus.     Lord,  I  do   trust  in   Thee.     I   know  Thou  wilt 


68  DIARY.  [1834. 

carry  on  the  work  of  grace  Thou  hast  begun  in  my  heart. 
I  do  resign  myself  to  Thee  for  time,  and  for  eternity. 
'  Who  in  the  strength  of  Jesus  trusts, 
Is  more  than  conqueror.' 

Surely  it  is  my  supreme  desire  to  know  and  to  serve  God,  to 
grow  in  grace  and  in  the  knowledge  of  our  Lord  Jesus 
Christ.  God  has  given  me  this  desire.  Surely  I  shall  yet 
rejoice  in  Him,  who  is  the  light  of  my  countenance  and  my 
God,  and  I  do  rejoice  in  Him.  He  strengthens  me  to  bear 
suffering.  He  enables  me  to  resist  a  thousand  temptations, 
and  to  endeavor  to  do  His  will.  He  gives  me  a  heaven-born 
love  for  the  Holy  Scriptures. 

^^ Sunday.  —  This  is  a  very  rainy  day,  but  if  the  Sun  of 
Righteousness  arise,  no  weather  will  be  gloomy  to  me.  I  do 
hunger  and  thirst  after  righteousness,  and  I  feel  my  desire 
constantly  increase.  Perhaps  it  is  thus  that  my  prayers  are 
answered.  I  can  say  with  Jacob,  '  I  will  not  let  Thee  go, 
except  Thou  bless  me ;'  and  I  desire  to  ever  remember  that 
they  who  wait  upon  the  Lord  shall  find  their  strength 
increase. 

'■'■Friday.  —  A  visit  from  my  Preceptor,  one  of  my  very 
dearest  friends.  He  looked  very  pale  and  thin,  and  as 
though  his  tarriance  here  would  not  be  long.  I  trust  that 
when  his  earthly  pilgrimage  is  ended,  he  will  be  for  ever  and 
for  ever  happy,  and  that  I  shall  meet  him  in  the  heavenly 
Jerusalem.  How  ardently  do  I  love  him  !  I  pray  that  God 
will  abundantly  strengthen  him  to  endure  every  trial  that 
awaits  him. 

^^ Saturday.  —  I  was  overjoyed  by  a  visit  from  my  dear 
Pastor.  I  trust  I  found  his  visit  very  profitable.  He,  too, 
looks  as  though  he  were  to  be  ere  long  called  to  his  heavenly 
home.  Oh,  if  it  be  my  heavenly  Father's  will,  I  would  pray 
that  a  very  long  time  may  not  elapse  ere  I  be  by  Death's  cold 
hand  led  home  to  God.     How  desirable  ! 

'■'•Friday.  —  I  fear  that  my  attention  has  been  too  much 


1834.]  WEAKNESS.  69 

witlidrawn  from  the  Bible  lately.  I  have  had  so  many  books 
sent  to  me.  I  have  now  commenced  a  most  delightful  book, 
'Bridges  on  the  119th  Psalm,'  that  I  desire  may  be  of  much 
profit.  I  find  it  important  to  ofier  up  a  petition  before  I  com- 
mence a  book,  that  it  may  not  be  alloAved  to  exercise  an  inju- 
rious tendency,  but  may  be  blessed  to  my  soul. 

'■^Saturday. — I  trust  I  redeemed  some  precious  moments 
yesterday.  I  was  much  favored  in  having  my  thoughts  more 
collected  than  usual.  Oh  !  how  I  wish  that  every  thought 
and  word  may  be  devoted  to  the  Lord  !  I  do  earnestly  desire 
to  be  very  watchful  and  earnest  in  praye^',  and  especially 
do  I  feel  that  I  can  do  nothing  of  myself.  Oh  !  that  I  were 
entirely  absorbed  in  Christ,  not  having  mine  own  righteous- 
ness. Oh  !  I  do  want  to  love  my  dear  Saviour.  It  makes 
my  heart  sad  to  remember  that  Christ  is  so  merciful  and  so 
compassionate,  that  He  strengthens  and  supports  me,  and 
that  I  love  Him  so  little.  Oh !  why  is  my  heart  so  cold  ? 
'Lord,  be  merciful  to  me  a  sinner!'  I  feel  very  weak  in 
body  to-day  —  so  entirely  prostrated.  Oh  !  Jesus  I  will  look 
to  Thee,  and  fervently  pray  that  Thou  wilt  bless  my  afflic- 
tions to  my  soul.  I  am  not  afraid  of  suffering,  for  Thou  wilt 
enable  me  to  endure  it.  Oh,  I  pray  Thee,  so  order  it  that 
my  light  afflictions  may  work  for  me  a  far  more  exceeding 
and  eternal  weight  of  glory,  wldle  I  look  not  at  the  things 
that  are  seen. 

'■'■  Sunday .  —  This  has  been  a  bright  and  beautiful  day,  and 
a  very  happy  one  too.  I  can  truly  call  the  Sabbath  a  delight, 
and  I  desire  that  it  be  holy  to  the  Lord,  honorable.  I  often 
think  that  as  I  so  ardently  desire  to  keep  holy  the  Sabbath- 
day,  and  anticipate  so  much  pleasure  in  its  return,  I  shall 
surely  be  permitted  through  the  mercy  of  God  to  enjoy  a 
Sabbath  of  eternal  rest.  I  hope  I  am  enabled  to  be  more 
and  more  conscientious  in  my  endeavors  and  prayers.  I  would 
not  speak  my  own  words,  or  think  my  own  thoughts,  on  this 


70  DESIRES    FOR    HOLINESS.  [183  K 

holy  day.     Oh  !  I  do  long  to  be  pure  and  holy,  and  to  be 
entirely  divested  of  self-righteousness. 

'■'■Monday.  —  I  earnestly  desire  to  improve  this  week  more 
than  I  have  ever  done.  There  is  so  much  need  of  a  daily 
growth  in  grace,  and  I  have  reason  to  hope  I  have  made 
some  progress,  very  inferior  to  what  it  ought  to  have  been. 
But  I  desire  to  go  from  strength  to  strength,  and  especially 
do  I  desire  to  be  cured  of  my  propensity  to  look  to  myself, 
instead  of  to  Christ.  Oh  !  I  wish  I  had  no  self,  that  all  v>ere 
lost  in  the  love  of  Jesus  !  Oh  !  for  that  faith  that  overcomes 
the  world,  a  simple  child-like  confidence  in  my  dear  Re- 
deemer !  This  shall  be  the  burden  of  my  prayers,  and  surely 
He  who  has  done  so  much  for  me  will  supply  every  need.  I 
feel  He  will.  I  am  as  sure  of  it  as  I  am  of  my  own  exist- 
ence, and  that,  not  because  I  have  any  claim  to  mercy,  but 
because  Jesus  died.  '  Oh  !  for  a  heart  to  praise  my  God.' 
Oh  !  for  a  knowledge  of  the  height  and  depth,  of  the  length 
and  breadth,  of  the  love  of  my  dear  Saviour,  for  He  is  dear 
to  me. 

"  '  Oh!  love  divine,  how  sweet  thou  art, 

When  shcill  I  find  my  willing  heart 
All  taken  up  by  Thee  ? 

I  thirst,  and  faint,  and  die  to  prove 

The  greatness  of  redeeming  love. 
The  love  of  Christ  to  me.' 

'•'■Tuesday.  —  How  little  cause  have  I  to  think  well  of  my- 
self, and  how  much  need  there  is  that  I  keep  a  strict  guard 
over  my  heart  and  lips !  There  was  an  allusion  made  to  a 
subject  that  is  always  an  unpleasant  one  to  me,  and  which, 
when  made  a  subject  of  conversation,  always  excites  my  na- 
tural impetuosity  of  feeling.  Oh  !  how  much  I  have  to  con- 
tend with !  I  was  not  irritated  against  any  person,  but  it  was 
wrong  to  allow  myself  to  become  so  excited  on  any  subject. 
It  is  my  desire  and  intention  to  pray  and  strive  against  this 
and  every  remaining  corruption  of  my  heart.  I  desire  to 
know  and  repent  of  all  that  is  not  in  accordance  with  the 


1834.]  RELIEF    IN    PRAYER.  71 

spirit  of  true  religion.  IIow  much  cause  have  I  to  rejoice 
that  I  have  a  merciful  Redeemer  to  apply  to  !  I  see  how 
perfectly  the  Gospel  plan  is  adapted  to  our  wants. 

'■'■Friday.  —  During  Tuesday  and  Wednesday  I  had  much 
cause  to  feel  reproached  for  my  want  of  spirituality.  I  did 
not  feel  as  much  as  usual  the  sweet  influences  of  the  Spirit  — 
influences  which  are  dearer  to  me  than  all  other  enjoyments. 
I  fear  it  was  in  a  great  degree  on  account  of  my  levity.  I 
felt  far  from  indifferent,  but  it  seemed  impossible  to  keep  my 
mind  fixed  on  good  things.  On  Wednesday  evening  I  felt  so 
unhappy  that  I  determined  that  I  would  feel  so  no  more,  for 
I  knew  that  if  I  would  humbly  spread  my  spiritual  wants 
before  my  Father  in  heaven,  He  would  be  willing  to  grant 
me  exceedingly  above  all  that  I  would  be  able  to  ask  or 
think.  I  did  so,  and  my  prayer  was  answered ;  and  since 
then  I  have  felt  much  more  happy.  Yesterday  morning  I 
had  a  delightful  season  of  retirement,  and  last  evening  I 
enjoyed  very  much.  I  hope  this  day  to  be  enabled  to  keep 
a  strict  watch  upon  my  heart,  and  to  depend  upon  the  right 
source  for  illumination  and  peace. 

^'■Sunday.  —  On  Friday  afternoon  I  had  a  delightful  visit 
from  Mr.  James.  I  felt  much  encourao;ed  in  reflectino;  on 
the  goodness  of  God  towards  me  in  putting  it  into  the  hearts 
of  His  children  to  visit  me,  and  in  thinking  how  much  greater 
is  His  love  than  earthly  affection.  I  was  much  blessed  in 
prayer  on  Friday  evening,  and  since  then  have  felt  much 
more  prayerful.     I  am  surprised  to  find  my  heart  so  cold 

this  morning,  but  I  know  the  remedy.     To-day  dear 

is  to  be  confirmed.  May  the  Lord  strengthen  her,  and  give 
her  true  faith.  We  have  cause  to  feel  that  God  is  the 
Father  of  the  fatherless,  when  we  remember  how  much  He 
has  blessed  us.  May  he  conduct  us  in  safety  through  life, 
and  bring  us  unto  His  everlasting  kingdom,  for  His  name's 
sake." 


72  LETTERTOANEPHEW.  [1834. 

The  rapid  progress  which  this  young  disciple  was  making 
in  the  knowledge  of  divine  things,  in  appreciation  of  Scrip- 
ture truths,  in  the  assurance  of  faith,  in  the  fervor  of  her 
love,  and  in  the  faithfulness  of  her  self-scrutiny,  cannot  but 
strike  the  Christian  reader.  The  Lord  was  evidently  fashion- 
ing for  himself  "  a  vessel  unto  honor,  meet  for  the  Master's 
use."  The  letter  subjoined,  the  first  of  a  series  addressed 
to  a  very  dear  nephew,  shows  her  affectionate  aptness  in 
speaking  to  children : 

To  W- ,  then  four  years  of  age. 

"Sunday  Morning,  March  9,  1834. 
"  My  own  dear  W , 


''  Ma  tells  me  that  thee  is  quite  sick  this  morning,  and  I  thought 
I  would  write  a  letter  to  tell  thee  how  much  I  pity  and  love  my  dear 
little  pet.  It  has  been  our  Heavenly  Father's  will  to  make  both 
thee  and  me  suffer  a  great  deal  of  pain  and  sickness ;  but  He  does  it 
for  our  good,  and  we  ought  to  be  very  patient.  Who-never  thee  feels 
very  sick  thee  ought  to  pray  to  our  dear  Saviour  to  enable  thee  to 
bear  suffering,  and  He  will  always  hear  and  answer  thy  prayer,  for 
He  loves  little  children  very  dearly.  Thee  remembers  what  He  said 
when  the  disciples  were  not  willing  to  let  the  mothers  take  their 
children  to  Him.  '  Suffer  little  children  to  come  unto  me,  and  for- 
bid them  not,  for  of  such  is  the  kingdom  of  heaven.'  And  then  He 
'took  them  in  His  arms,  and  blessed  them.'  Will  it  not  be  a  blessed 
thing  to  leave  this  world  of  sorrow,  and  dwell  for  ever  with  this  dear 
Saviour  in  that  happy  world,  where  tlte  Bible  tells  us  that '  God  shall 
wipe  away  all  tears  from  their  eyes;  and  there  shall  be  no  more 
death,  neither  sorrow,  nor  crying,  neither  shall  there  be  any  more 

pain.'     Now,  dear  W ,  we  cannot  do  anything  of  ourselves  that 

will  make  us  deserve  to  go  to  this  place;  for  our  hearts  are  wicked, 
and  we  cannot  make  them  good ;  but  we  must  pray  to  Jesus  Christ 
to  make  us  pure  in  heart,  for  the  Bible  says,  '  Blessed  are  the  pure 
in  heart,  for  they  shall  see  God ;'  and  whenever  we  feel  as  if  we 
wanted  to  be  good  and  love  God,  we  may  be  sure  that  it  is  He  who 
has  put  these  good  thoughts  into  our  hearts.  Thee  must  pray  for 
Aunty  Sue  every  day,  dear  "W.,  and  I  will  pray  for  thee  that  God 
will  preserve  us  from  sin,  and  make  us  love  Him  with  our  whole 
hearts.  I  know  very  well  that  He  will  answer  our  prayers,  for  He 
is  more  willing  to  give  us  blessings  than  we  are  to  ask  Him.     If 


1834.]  REFLECTIONS.  73 

nothing  should  prevent,  I  would  like  thee  to  come  around  to-morrow 
and  see  rue,  and  if  thee  cannot,  thee  must  send  me  an  answer  to  this 
letter.  I  wish  very  much  to  see  thee,  and  I  think  about  thee  a  great 
deal,  for  there  is  no  child  in  the  world  that  I  love  half  so  well.  Kiss 
E.  for  me,  and  now,  my  darling  boy,  I  must  bid  thee  farewell. 

"Thy  affectionate  Aunty  Sue." 

^^Mareh  17th.  —  I  do  love  tvrillglit.  It  is  to  me  the  plea- 
santest  hour  of  the  day,  and  I  desire  ever  to  spend  it  in 
meditation  and  prayer.  I  desire  to  cultivate  a  more  grate- 
ful spirit.  Why  is  it  that  my  heart  is  not  more  attuned  to 
gratitude  ? 

"2,2(2. — Yesterday  and  to-day  I  have  been  favored  with  a 
calm  and  happy  frame  of  mind.  To-day  I  have  suffered  a 
great  deal,  but  I  desire  to  thank  my  heavenly  Father  both 
for  His  rod  and  His  staff.  I  am  rejoiced  to  find  that  I  am 
in  some  degree  grateful  for  the  blessings  received.  I  do  long 
for  a  thankful  heart,  and  it  is  one  of  my  brightest  hopes  of 
heaven,  that  I  shall  there  praise  God  with  all  my  soul, 
strength  and  povrer. 

"  Truly,  I  am  a  child  of  God.  Would  He  grant  me  such 
sweet  access  in  prayer  as  I  sometimes  enjoy  ?  Would  he 
accompany  the  Holy  Scriptures  with  such  spirit  and  power, 
such  peculiar  appropriateness,  as  He  does,  and  His  Spirit 
only  can,  if  I  were  not  His  child  ?  Now,  then,  let  me  trust 
Him,  and  cast  aside  my  sinful  fears.  Let  me  pray  for  grace 
to  grow  daily  in  conformity  to  His  image,  and  to  love  and 
praise  His  holy  name. 

"Sunday. — 

"  '  Thine  earthly  Sabbaths,  Lord,  we  love, 
But  there's  a  nobler  rest  above. 
To  that  our  laboring  souls  aspire, 
With  fervent  hope  and  strong  desire.' 

This  is  a  bright  day,  and  all  around  me  is  quiet  and  peace- 
ful. My  suffering  of  body  seems  to  increase,  and  had  I  none 
other  than  the  help  of  man,  I  could  not  patiently  endure  it, 

7 


74  RESIGNATION.  [1834. 

but  1  ever  find  the  Balm  of  Gilead  an  ample  cure  for  every 
wound,  'a  cordial  for  my  fears.' 

"  In  tLis  life  I  have  naught  but  suffering  to  anticipate. 
Whether  life  be  prolonged,  or  my  course  here  be  nearly  run, 
I  know  not,  and  desire  to  feel  no  anxiety.  This  I  know,  and 
ever  wish  to  feel,  that  Jesus  is  with  me  —  that  He  will 
strengthen  and  comfort  me  under  every  afiliction,  and  grant 
me  a  happy  issue  out  of  all ;  and  this  because  God  is  merci- 
ful and  gracious,  slow  to  anger,  and  plenteous  in  mercy. 
Sometimes,  when  bowed  down  with  pain,  I  think  that  per- 
haps eternity  is  very  near  —  that  it  may  be  but  a  little  while 
ere  this  mortal  shall  put  on  immortality.  So  let  it  be  !  So 
that  Jesus  is  with  me,  I  care  not  how  soon.  I  have  no  desire 
to  live,  but  to  learn  to  die ;  and  I  know  that  until  I  am  pre- 
pared for  eternity,  I  shall  not  be  taken  from  time. 

"  I  am  much  comforted  to  hear  of  the  desirable  state  of 
mind  of  an  acquaintance  who  is  wasted  by  disease,  and  appa- 
rently very  near  the  end  of  his  earthly  sojourn.  I  believe 
that  even  my  prayers  for  him  have  been  answered.  Oh,  that 
the  work  of  grace  may  be  deepened  in  my  heart. 

'■'■Monday^  March  24:th.  —  I  am  in  severe  pain  to-day.  I 
do  pray  fervently  for  strength  to  bear  it,  and  it  is  given  me. 
Oh  !  may  my  faith  and  patience  be  every  day  increased.  Per- 
haps death  may  not  be  very  far  frpm  me.  Oh,  my  Heavenly 
Father,  prepare  me  for  Thy  presence ;  cover  me  with  the 
righteousness  of  my  dear  Saviour ;  take  from  my  heart  every 
thing  opposed  to  Thy  will.  Oh,  make  me  as  clay  in  Thy 
hands.  Oh,  Lord,  Thou  knowest  my  sincerity,  and  Thou 
wilt  supply  my  every  need.  '  Lord,  I  believe ;  help  Thou 
mine  unbelief.' 

"  Yesterday  was  a  happy  day,  because  I  was  favored  to  be 
more  fervent  in  prayer  than  usual,  and  more  watchful  against 
idle  words  and  thoughts.  I  must  endeavor  to  pray  and  strive 
against  these,  and  every  other  enemy  of  my  soul.  I  desire  to 
seek  a  deeper  Avork  of  grace. 


1834.]  VISIT    FROM    FRIENDS.  75 

'■'■March  21tJi. — On  Monday,  two  Friends,  who  have  felt  it 
their  duty  to  visit  the  members  of  their  meeting,  came  to  see 
Mother,  and,  as  an  especial  favor,  consented  to  admit  the 
rest  of  the  family.  Their  remarks  were  very  sweet  and  en- 
couraging, and  I  trust  they  will  be  blessed  to  my  soul.  One 
of  them  addressed  me  particularly,  and  said  that  though  I 
was  a  stranger  to  her,  she  had  been  led  to  believe  that  our 
Heavenly  Father  had  gracious  purposes  in  thus  laying  His 
afflicting  hand  upon  me, —  that  it  was  His  intention,  not  only 
to  draw  me  to  Himself,  but  to  make  me  an  instrument  of 
good  to  my  family.  Heaven  grant  it  may  be  so.  If  I  could 
be  blessed  to  those  I  love,  if  I  could  be  the  instrument  of 
leading  one  soul  to  repentance,  how  very  willing  I  trust  I 
should  be  to  endure  even  ten-fold  more  severe  suffering. 

'■'■Tuesday.  —  I  resolved  that  I  would  devote  myself  espe- 
cially to  prayer  and  reading  the  Bible.  In  the  course  of  the 
morning,  an  article  was  sent  to  me  to  read,  which  was  in- 
tended to  amuse  me.  I  took  it  up  and  began  to  read  it,  but 
my  conscience  reproved  me,  and  I  had  to  put  it  down.  Was 
this  consecrating  my  thoughts  to  the  Lord  ?  I  pray  for  grace 
to  encourage  a  tender  conscience. 

'^Saturday  evening.  —  I  have  been  much  blessed  within 
these  two  days  past,  and  I  long  for  a  heart  full  of  praise. 
Yesterday  was  Good  Friday,  and  I  prayed  that  if  it  were 
right  I  might  have  solitude,  but  I  had  a  crowd  in  my  room 
nearly  all  day.  I  was  enabled  to  withdraw  my  thoughts,  in 
a  great  measure,  from  all  that  was  passing,  and  I  have  no 
doubt  that  my  prayer  was  answered  in  the  way  that  was  best 
for  me. 

^'■Easter-day,  March  SOth.  —  I  hoped  to  have  been  able  to 
go  to  the  sanctuary  this  morning,  but  it  was  ordered  other- 
wise I  knew  that  God  would  bless  me  at  home,  and  He 
has.  Why  should  I  doubt  His  mercy  and  His  love  ?  Oh, 
that  every  doubt  and  fear  may  be  removed,  and  that  I  may 
have  joy  in  believing.     I  trust  that  I  have  grown  in  grace. 


76  THOUGHTS    OF    HEAVEN.  [18B4. 

This  morning  I  feel  assured  that  my  desires  have  been  ac- 
ceptable, I  pray  for  grace  to  spend  this  afternoon  as  I 
ought.  Oh,  for  the  full  assurance  of  faith !  This  is  what  I 
long  for,  this  is  what  I  pray  for,  and  this  is  what  I  know  will 
yet  be  given  to  me.  '  I  shall  yet  praise  Him  who  is  the  light 
of  my  countenance,  and  my  God.'  I  do  dearly  love  the 
Bible. 

^^ April  2d. — Yesterday  I  enjoyed  very  much.  If  I  were 
a  truly  devoted  Christian  I  should  be  favored  with  many 
hours  of  '  communion  sweet,  communion  large  and  high.'  And 
as  it  is,  how  much  cause  have  I  to  rejoice  in  the  abundant 
manifestations  of  love  I  have  received  from  my  Heavenly 
Father.  I  think  I  am  not  deceived  in  my  trust  that  I  have 
grown  in  grace  during  the  last  two  months. 

"  I  have  some  sweet  thoughts  of  heaven.  Oh,  what  a  glo- 
rious change  is  it  for  this  mortal  to  put  on  immortality !  Oh, 
when  shall  the  happy  experience  be  mine  !  Oh,  dear  Jesus  ! 
my  soul  longs  for  thee,  and  Thou  art  my  supreme  desire. 
Come  and  reveal  Thyself  to  my  waiting  heart.  I  want  to 
feel  that  I  am  dead  unto  sin,  but  alive  unto  Thee.  Oh,  I 
long  to  be  conformed  entirely  to  thine  image !  I  thirst  for 
Thy  full  salvation,  with  ardor  that  no  language  can  express. 
I  rejoice,  0  Almighty  Father,  that  Thou  dost  know  the 
thoughts  and  intents  of  my  heart,  and  I  desire  to  realize  Thy 
presence.  Why  am  I  so  trifling  ?  How  inconsistent  I  am  ! 
My  cry  must  ever  be,  '  God  be  merciful  to  me  a  sinner !' 
Surely  I  shall  become  more  humble,  more  watchful  and  more 
believing. 

"April  4:th.  —  Yesterday  I  went  down  stairs,  after  ten 
weeks'  confinement.  I  was  very  glad  to  be  permitted  to  leave 
my  room,  but  do  not  expect  ever  to  enjoy  society  as  much  as 
solitude,  and  I  most  fervently  pray  for  directing  and  sustain- 
ing grace.  I  trust  I  shall  not  neglect  my  stated  seasons  of 
devotion  on  any  account,  —  that  I  may  be  preserved  from 
levity,  vanity,  and  every  sin.     Oh,  let  me  never  rely  upon 


1834.]  DESIRES     FOR    HOLINESS.  77 

my  own  heart,  but  constantly  and  earnestly  pray  for  the  in- 
fluences of  the  Spirit. 

"  I  have  been  for  a  long  time  in  the  habit  of  keeping  a 
record  of  my  thoughts  and  feelings,  and  as  I  think  this  plan 
is  productive  of  advantage  to  my  spiritual  interests,  I  desire 
to  retain  it,  if  possible,  during  the  remainder  of  my  life.  And 
yet  I  have  felt  enough  of  the  deceitfulness  of  my  heart,  and 
its  proneness  to  error,  to  be  well  convinced  that  unless  I 
maintain  a  constant  dependence  on  the  influence  and  restrain- 
ing grace  of  my  Heavenly  Father,  this,  as  well  as  every  other 
means  of  grace,  will  be  perverted.  I  would,  therefore,  com- 
mence this  book,  and  every  undertaking,  with  a  fervent  prayer 
for  grace  to  help  in  time  of  need, — for  a  spirit  of  watchfulness 
and  prayer, — for  self-distrust,  and  child-like  confidence  in  the 
merits  of  my  Eedeemer. 

"  '  Search  me,  0  God,  and  know  my  heart ;  try  me,  and 
know  my  thoughts,  and  see  if  there  be  any  wicked  way  in  me, 
and  lead  me  in  the  way  everlasting,'  is,  I  trust,  my  heart's 
sincere  and  fervent  petition.  '  Give  me  understanding,  and 
I  shall  keep  thy  law,  yea,  I  shall  observe  it  with  my  whole 
heart.' 

"  I  ardently  long  for  conformity  to  the  will  of  my  Heavenly 
Father,  and  am  resolved  that  nothing  else  shall  satisfy  me ; 
and  though  the  mournful  experience  of  my  past  short-comings 
would  for  ever  deter  me  from  the  attempt,  if  it  were  made  in 
reliance  on  my  own  competency,  yet  let  me  ever  remember, 
'  Who  in  the  strength  of  Jesus  trusts,  is  more  than  con- 
queror.' I  have  experienced  so  many  proofs  of  divine  love, 
that  I  am  encouraged  to  be  confident  that  the  power  that  has 
commenced  a  good  work  in  me,  will  increase  and  perfect  it ; 
that  He  who  has  brought  me  out  of  nature's  darkness,  into  a 
measure,  at  least,  of  the  glorious  liberty  of  the  children  of 
God,  will  dissipate  every  remaining  cloud,  by  the  bright 
beams  of  the  Sun  of  Righteousness.  I  long  for  a  heart  full 
of  praise  to  God  for  His  exceeding  mercy  and  loving-kind- 


78  SELF-EXAMINATION.  [1834. 

ness.  Truly  I  may  say  with  David,  '  Surely,  goodness  and 
mercy  have  followed  me  all  the  days  of  my  life ;'  and,  oh ! 
for  David's  harp,  that  I  might  strike  one  glad  anthem  of  love 
and  praise. 

"  But,  alas  !  my  heart,  I  feel,  is  very  cold  and  ungrateful, 
and  very  far  from  the  habitation  of  perfect  love  and  holiness. 
I  often  fear  that  I  am  making  a  kind  of  aifected  humility 
when  I  write  thus :  that  I  am  content  to  say,  '  How  vile  I 
am  !'  when  if  I  felt  half  the  plague  of  my  own  heart,  I  would 
never  allow  myself  a  moment  of  ease  until  I  obtained  a  wit- 
ness that  my  heart  was  right  in  the  sight  of  God.  And  yet 
I  feel  that  it  is  my  heart's  supreme  desire  to  know  and  do 
the  will  of  God.  I  feel  that  lie  is  drawing  me  to  Himself 
by  the  ties  of  his  endearing  love,  and  is  preparing  me  for  an 
everlasting  abode,  '  an  house  not  made  with  hands,  eternal  in 
the  heavens.'  0  may  the  work  of  grace  make  rapid  progress 
in  mj  heart,  and  may  it  not  be  long  ere  I  may  fully  realize 
what  it  is  to  bo  crucified  to  the  world,  its  affections  and  lusts, 
and  to  know  that  my  life  is  hid  with  Christ  in  God. 

"  I  will  pray  for  grace  to  go  from  strength  to  strength, 
until  I  appear  in  Zion  before  God.  I  have  cause  to  be  thank- 
ful that  I  have  been  enabled  to  grow  in  grace,  and  in  the 
knowledge  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  within  the  period  of  my 
confinement  to  my  room.  '  It  is.  good  for  me  that  I  have 
been  afflicted.'  I  love  to  pray  better  than  ever  before,  and 
sometimes  have  sweet  access  to  my  Heavenly  Father.  At 
such  times  I  enjoy  more  happiness  than  the  possession  of  all 
the  treasures  of  earth  could  afford.  My  relish  for  the  Bible 
is  much  increased.  I  find  it  of  great  advantage  to  read  it 
with  much  prayer, — to  petition  every  day  that  no  other  book 
may  be  allowed  to  withdraw  my  affections  from  it,  —  to  open 
it  with  a  prayer  that  I  may  feel  to  the  utmost  the  insuffi- 
ciency of  my  own  comprehension,  and  be  inspired  with  hum))le 
yet  aspiring  faith.  'Open  Thou  mine  eyes,  that  I  may  he- 
hold  wondrous   things   out  of  thy  law,'  is  my  very  fervent 


1834.]  WORKTOBEDONE.  79 

prayer.  It  aflfords  me  great  consolation  to  trust  that  I  shall 
be  enabled  to  love  this  blessed  book  better  and  better,  that 
my  spiritual  taste  wiU  be  quickened,  while  earth's  fleeting 
vanities  will  in  the  same  proportion  appear  insipid  and  unsa- 
tisfying. And,  oh !  may  I  ever  remember  that  it  is  quite 
impossible  that  I  can  ever  think  a  good'  thought,  or  perform 
a  righteous  action,  unassisted  by  the  Holy  Spirit. 

"  April  5th. —  I  have  for  a  long  time  felt  the  importance 
of  devoting  my  thoughts  to  God  the  moment  I  awake,  but 
have  much  to  contend  with  in  this  respect — many  difficulties 
within  and  without.  My  old  habit  of  castle-building  has  been 
a  source  of  disadvantage ;  and  though  I  feel  very  thankful 
for  a  partial  victory  over  this  enemy  of  my  soul,  I  find  it 
necessary  to  keep  constant  watch.  I  do  pray  for  grace  to 
be  regular  in  the  discharge  of  my  private  duties ;  in  reading 
the  Scriptures  ;  in  prayer,  and  self-examination.  The  time 
I  spend  in  their  performance  is  truly  the  happiest  of  my  life, 
and  I  rejoice  to  find  that  my  love  for  them  increases. 

The  reflection,  that  I  am  so  unprofitable  a  servant,  causes 
much  pain.  Oh,  why  does  not  my  heart  overflow  with  love 
to  sinners,  and  why  do  I  not  cast  aside  this  sinful  diffidence, 
and  urge  upon  them  immediate  attention  to  their  souls'  best 
interests  ?  '  Open  Thou  my  lips,  and  my  mouth  shall  show 
forth  Thy  praise.'  I  have  a  strong  impression  that  there  is 
much  for  me  to  do  ;  that  in  this  thing  I  must  take  up  the 
Cross.  I  have  been  very  remiss,  and  my  conscience  reproaches 
me.  The  sense  of  my  great  unworthiness  and  ignorance  de- 
ters me  from  this  duty,  but  I  know  this  is  a  temptation  ;  as 
I  know  my  duty  so  well,  why  not  do  it  ?  My  responsibilities 
are  very  great ;  oh,  that  my  sense  of  them  may  increase.  I 
cannot  account  for  my  feelings  on  this  subject.  I  feel  as  if 
I  ought  to  urge  the  subject  of  religion  on  all  my  worldly 
friends ;  and  if  I  do  not,  there  is  such  a  weight  upon  my 
heart :  0,  Lord,  show  me  Thy  will,  and  I  will  trust  Thee  for 
strength  to  perform  it. 


80  GRATITUDE.  [1834. 

"  I  have  great  cause  to  tliank  m}^  Heavenly  Fatlicr  for  lils 
exceeding  goodness  to  my  friends.  Several  of  them  are  un- 
der very  deep  impression,  and  some  of  them  have  applied  to 
me  for  counsel  and  encouragement.  Ignorant  and  helpless 
as  I  am,  God  Vf'iW  make  me  a  messenger  of  grace  to  their 
souls,  if  I  trust  in  Him. 

"I  must  tell  them  'What  a  dear  Saviour  I  have  found,' 
and  direct  them  to  Him  for  'grace  to  help  in  time  of  need.' 
I  do  implore  Thee,  0  Lord,  to  deepen  this  work  of  grace  in 
their  hearts  ;  '  Increase  this  knowledge,  and  confirm  this 
faith.'  " 

^'■Sunday,  April  Qth.  —  Another  blessed  Sabbath  I  Oh, 
Lord,  give  me  grace  to  spend  it  according  to  Thy  will.  This 
day  I  always  anticipate  with  pleasure.  Although  I  cannot 
go  to  the  sanctuary,  I  find  it  good  to  commune  with  my  own 
heart  in  my  chamber,  and  be  still.  Oh,  what  cause  for  thank- 
fulness have  I  in  the  goodness  of  my  Heavenly  Father  in 
thus  refreshing  my  thirsty  soul  with  the  dews  of  his  grace ! 
Every  day,  and  every  waking  hour  does  He  visit  me  with 
the  influences  of  His  Holy  Spirit,  and  even  my  dreams  are 
sometimes  profitable  to  my  soul.  I  sometimes  wake  with 
comforting  passages  of  Scripture  impressed  upon  my  mind. 
Was  any  one  ever  more  unworthy  ?  I  desire  a  deep  and 
abiding  sense  of  my  own  sinfulness,  and  of  the  infinite  mercy 
of  God.  I  want  to  look  beyond  myself  to  Jesus.  I  have  not 
simple  faith  :  oh,  how  I  long  for  it !  Lord,  that  I  know  not, 
teach  Thou  me,  I  pray  Thee. 

"  I  trust  I  shall  grow  in  grace  this  day.  I  desire  to  be 
altogether  spiritual ;  but,  oh,  what  difficulty  I  find  in  guard- 
ing my  thoughts.  I  would  that  I  could  always  remember 
that  they  are  heard  in  heaven.  If  I  wish  to  be  a  happy 
Christian,  I  must  consecrate  every  thought,  word,  and  action  ; 
every  faculty,  moral  and  intellectual,  to  the  Lord.  Have  I 
done  this  in  reality  ? 

"I  desire  to  be  deeply  taught  of  tlie  Spirit.     I  know  tliat 


1834.]        PRAYER    FOR     SELF-KNOWLEDGE.  81 

I  cannot,  of  myself,  think  a  good  thought :  I  am  glad  of  that. 
What  a  blessed  reflection,  that  God  has  midertaken  this  work, 
and  leaves  nothing  for  me  to  do  but  to  submit  to  His  gui- 
dance. The  greatest  deficiency  of  my  soul  is  want  of  love  to 
Jesus,  and  of  simple  faith  in  his  merits.  I  make  religion  too 
abstract :  surely  it  is  a  very  simple  thing :  why  do  I  not  feel 
it  so  ?  0,  Almighty  Father,  who  now  seest  the  inmost  re- 
cesses of  my  heart,  look  down  upon  me,  I  pray  Thee,  and 
pierce  my  soul  with  the  sword  of  Thy  Spirit.  Open  Thou 
mine  eyes  that  I  may  see  the  wondrous  things  of  Thy  law. 
Grant  me  such  a  view  of  my  situation  in  Thy  sight,  as  is  con- 
sistent with  Thy  will.  0,  let  me  not  be  deceived,  I  pray 
Thee,  for  Thou  knowest,  and  I  have,  in  some  degree,  felt  the 
deceitfulness  of  my  heart,  and  the  multitude  of  my  spiritual 
enemies,  and  I  long  to  be  delivered  from  them  all.  Oh,  be 
merciful  to  me  a  sinner,  and  purify  my  soul  from  sin.  '  Let 
not  any  iniquity  have  dominion  over  me,  for  I  have  chosen 
the  way  of  Thy  commandments.'  Righteousness  of  my  own 
I  can  never  have,  but  I  pray  Thee,  0  Lord,  to  let  me,  by 
faith,  appropriate  the  righteousness  of  Christ,  through  whose 
merits  alone  I  have  any  hope  of  eternal  life. 

"  Oh,  it  is  a  solemn  thing,  thus  to  invite  the  inspection  of 
a  heart-searching  God  ;  but  it  is  far  better  that  I  should  do 
it  now,  that  I  may  be  cleansed  from  all  unrighteousness,  and 
led  into  the  way  of  truth,  than  that  I  should  be  awakened 
from  a  state  of  sinful  security  to  the  horrors  of  eternal  misery. 
Oh,  why  should  any  poor  sinner  refuse  the  invitations  of  love 
and  mercy  ?  '  Ho  !  every  one  that  thirsteth,  come  ye  to  the 
waters ;  and  he  that  hath  no  money.'  How  entirely  does 
this  suit  me  !  I  thirst :  I  have  no  money :  and,  blessed  be 
the  name  of  the  Lord,  I  have  tasted  of  the  fountain  of  liv- 
ing waters. 

"  '  As  the  hart  panteth  after  the  water-brooks,  so  longeth 
my  soul  after  Thee,  0  God.    My  soul  thirsteth  for  God,  even 
the  living  God  :  when  shall  I  come  to  appear  before  God  !' 
F 


82  DEEP     IMPRESSIONS.  [1834. 

"  Truly,  if  a  taste  for  spiritual  enjoyments  is  an  evidence 
of  a  renewed  nature,  I  may  safely  conclude  tliat  I  have  passed 
from  death  unto  life,  for  every  thing  else  seems  compara- 
tively dull  and  tasteless." 

^^  April  8th.  —  I  have  been  the  subject  of  very  deep  im- 
pressions for  a  few  days  past.  I  trust  they  will  be  blessed 
to  my  soul.  I  was  very  ill  on  Sunday,  and  thought  that  I 
was  about  to  exchange  the  scenes  of  earth  for  the  realities 
of  eternity.  The  apparent  nearness  of  death  did  not  alarm 
me,  for  I  felt  that  my  trust  was  in  the  Rock  of  Ages ;  but  I 
did  not  experience  the  support  that  will,  I  believe,  be  vouch- 
safed me  when  the  hour  of  dissolution  shall  arrive.  How  it 
would  rejoice  my  heart  to  leave  all  my  friends  with  the  as- 
sured hope  of  a  blissful  reunion  on  the  shores  of  Canaan's 
happy  land !  0,  my  Heavenly  Father,  make  me,  I  pray 
Thee,  to  lead  a  holy  and  consistent  life,  that  my  instrumen- 
tality may  be  blessed  to  their  eternal  weal.  I  want  humility. 
I  fear  the  effect  of  the  praises  which  are  so  undeservedly  be- 
stowed upon  me.  Oh,  may  I  ever  feel  that  '  every  good  and 
perfect  gift  cometh  from  above,'  and  if  my  Heavenly  Father 
has  been  pleased  to  lift  up  the  light  of  His  countenance  upon 
me,  let  me  never  attribute  the  bright  ray  to  the  reflection  of 
my  own  virtues.  I  ardently  long  for  the  time  when  '  the  Sun 
of  Righteousness  shall  arise  with  healing  in  his  wings,'  and 
make  all  light  and  glorious  wdthin.  I  ardently  desire,  I  will 
ever  pray  and  strive,  and  never  rest  until  the  work  of  sanc- 
tification  is  completed  in  my  heart.  Is  it  presumption  to  say 
this  ?  Have  I  not  often  experienced  the  deceitfulness  of  my 
heart,  and  its  continual  proneness  to  err ;  and  shall  I  believe 
that  so  high  and  holy  a  resolve  will  ever  be  executed  ?  Yes, 
I  make  it  in  the  strength  of  the  Lord  of  Hosts,  and  I  am 
persuaded  that  '  He  is  able  to  keep  that  which  I  have  com- 
mitted unto  him  against  that  day." 

"  lOf  A.  —  I  was  thankful  to  awake  this  morning  in  a  de- 
votional frame,  and  to  be  able  to  make  my  morning  prayers 


1834.]  WORKTOBEDONE.  83 

with  fervor  and  sincerity.  I  feel  the  importance  of  devoting 
the  first  moments  of  the  day  to  God.  I  had  much  cause  for 
self-reproach  last  evening.  I  indulged  in  trifling  conversa- 
tion at  a  time  when,  if  my  heart  had  been  properly  affected, 
I  might  have  introduced  some  profitable  remarks.  So  many 
opportunities  neglected  of  speaking  a  word  in  season,  and 
out  of  season.  My  conscience  has  become  very  tender  on 
this  subject,  and  yet  what  amendment  has  been  produced  ? 

"  I  think  I  see  a  glimmering  of  light  on  this  subject. 
Something  tells  me  there  is  woi'k  for  me  to  do  :  that  I  must 
warn  those  around  me  with  faithfulness  of  their  danger,  and 
urge  them  to  flee  to  Jesus  for  safety ;  and  then  alarmed  and 
distrustful  self  starts  up,  and  asks,  'What !  is  so  unworthy 
an  instrument  as  I  to  be  employed  ?  one  so  ignorant,  so 
helpless  ?  Oh,  let  me  ever  remember  that  God  is  able  to 
make  a  witness  of  His  pardoning  love,  even  of  me,  poor, 
weak  and  sinful  as  I  am ;  and  if  His  Holy  Spirit  puts  words 
into  my  mouth,  to  warn  and  comfort  my  fellow-creatures,  let 
me  not  rebel  against  his  blessed  influences.  0,  may  the  fear 
of  man  be  taken  from  my  heart !  May  every  faculty  and 
feeling  be  brouglit  into  obedience  to  my  Heavenly  Father's 
will !  I  pray  for  grace  to  discern  it  clearly.  I  feel  that  I 
have  been  unfaithful  to  my  friends.  I  offer  the  prayer,  '  De- 
liver me  from  blood-guiltiness,'  with  a  feeling  that  I  incur 
the  danger. 

"  I  did  not  expect  to  have  these  feelings.  I  thought  that 
so  humble  a  Christian  as  I,  a  very  babe  in  spiritual  attain- 
ments, though,  alas,  not  one  in  simplicity  and  love,  would  be 
suflered  to  pass  along  in  silence.  But  I  see  now  that  it  is 
the  duty  and  privilege  of  every  child  of  God  to  become  a 
herald  of  the  cross  ;  and  God  will  bless  the  feeblest  efforts 
made  in  dependence  on  His  power.  0,  that  self  were  anni- 
hilated, and  that  I  had  no  desire  but  to  know  and  do  the 
will   of  God,  Avithout   reference  to   human  opinion  or  ap- 


84  ELEVEN     weeks'    CONFINEMENT.        [1834. 

plause.  Oh,  to  tLink  of  praising  and  loving  God  forever 
and  forever  ! 

"  I  must  not  forget  that  I  defended  some  of  my  own  opi- 
nions to-day,  with  some  degree  of  obstinacy.  I  do  not  think 
it  was  perceptible  to  others,  but  let  me  remember  that  God 
seeth  not  as  man  sees.  I  implore  Thee,  .0,  my  Father,  to 
make  me  meek  and  humble  as  a  little  child. 

"  I  think  I  do  feel  thankful  to  God  for  His  goodness  to 
others.  Every  sinner,  saved  by  grace,  is  a  guarantee  of 
His  love  for  me.  I  feel  comforted  and  encouraged  to  follow 
their  good  examples,  that  I  may  with  them  inherit  the  pro- 
mises. Sometimes  I  seem  to  have  deeper  views  of  religion. 
I  see  that  the  path  that  leads  the  Christian  home  to  God  is 
a  strait  and  narrow  one.  Do  I  desire  to  widen  it  ?  No ! 
I  only  pray  for  grace  to  confine  myself  to  it.  Lord,  deepen 
the  work  of  grace  in  my  heart.     Indeed  I  am  sincere." 

"  ll^/i.  —  I  rode  out  this  morning,  after  having  been  con- 
fined eleven  weeks  to  the  house.  I  was  really  delighted  to 
breathe  the  fresh  air  again.  I  was  much  fatigued,  and  have 
had  a  good  deal  of  pain.  I  wish  I  were  more  grateful  for 
the  strength  which  is  given  me  to  endure  sufiering.  I  do 
not  prize  it  as  I  ought.  I  pray  that  it  may  not  be  taken 
from  me. 

"  I  have  been  enabled  to-day  to  keep  collected  and  tran- 
quil, but  was  disappointed  in  having  so  little  solitude.  I 
have  learned  to  pray  in  the  midst  of  a  crowd,  but  I  very 
often  long  for  privacy.  At  such  times,  I  think  what  a  blessed 
thing  it  will  be  to  praise  God  to  all  eternity;  to  be  an 
inhabitant  of  that  abode  where  all  is  harmony,  and  peace, 
and  love.  I  believe  that  my  '  title  is  clear  to  mansions  in 
the  skies.'     '  Lord,  increase  my  faith.'  " 

"  April  12fh.  —  I  have  been  over  to  see  Mrs.  L.,  and  was 
glad  to  be  permitted  to  see  so  great  an  exhibition  of  simple 
dependence  on  the  merits  of  a  Redeemer.  Oh,  it  does  en- 
courage and  comfort  me  to  see  such  '  a  cloud  of  witnesses'  to 


1834.]  HEFLECTIONS.  85 

tlie  loving-kindness  of  the  Lord.  May  this  visit  be  abund- 
antly blessed  to  my  soul.  I  was  forcibly  reminded  of  the 
text,  '  How  excellent  is  thy  loving-kindness,  0  God !  there- 
fore the  children  of  men  put  their  trust  under  the  shadow  of 
Thy  wings.'  Oh,  what  an  all-sufficient  support  is  religion! 
Of  sickness,  sorrow,  suffering  of  any  kind,  the  Christian  may 
say,  'None  of  these  things  move  me.'  Dear  Saviour,  let  me 
never  dishonor  Thee  by  sinful  doubts  and  fears.  I  am  one 
of  thy  sheep — very  sickly,  and  much  disposed  to  wander  — 
but  the  Good  Shepherd,  who  '  giveth  his  life  for  the  sheep,' 
will  not,  surely,  suffer  them  to  wander  from  him. 

"  I  pray  Thee  to  preserve  me  from  all  trust  in  my  own 
works ;  from  the  odious  sin  of  self-righteousness ;  neither  let 
me  be  discouraged  on  account  of  my  sins.  Jesus  Christ  is  ray 
Saviour,  not  myself.  I  long  for  entire  spirituality,  for  a 
spirit  of  self-renunciation.  This  is  the  last  day  of  the  week. 
I  anticipate  to-morrow  with  delight." 

"  April  13^ A,  Sunday.  —  The  text  for  to-day  is,  '  Because 
Thou  hast  been  my  help,  therefore  under  the  shadow  of  Thy 
wings  will  I  rejoice.'  For  this  cause  may  I  ever  praise  and 
love  the  Lord.  He  has  been  my  help,  and  I  long  for  a  heart 
full  of  praise.  This  is  a  blessed  day,  and  I  desire  long  to 
bear  it  in  remembrance. 

"  It  is  a  sweet  spring  morning ;  the  birds  are  singing,  and 
the  trees  beginning  to  put  forth  their  verdure. 

'  When  winter's  gloomy  reign  is  o'er, 

All  nature  is  renewed  by  spring's  reviving  breath  ; 
Thus  shall  Thy  Spirit,  Lord,  restore 

Life  to  my  dreary  soul,  strength  to  my  wavering  faith.' 

"  I  could  not  go  to  church  this  morning,  but  God  has  sent 
me  help  from  the  sanctuary.  I  have  much  enjoyed  the  quiet 
of  my  chamber.  Solitude  is  often  to  be  esteemed  one  of  the 
richest  blessings,  and  when  it  is  gone  we  learn  to  prize  it. 

"  I  love  to  think,  on  Sunday,  of  the  multitudes  of  God's 
children  who  are  scattered  upon  the  earth.     I  love  to  think 


86  LOVE     FOR     SOLITUDE.  [1834. 

of  Missionaries  who  are  now  pursuing  their  labor  of  love  amid 
the  Western  wilds,  and  in  far  countries.  I  love  to  think  of 
temples  raised  in  the  wilderness,  and  hearts  consecrated  to 
the  service  of  the  living  God  in  the  midst  of  the  heathen ; 
and  I  can  sympathize  with  those  who  are  stretched  on  a  bed 
of  languishing.  How  sweet  it  is  for  them,  and  for  me,  to  feel 
that  the  word  is  nigh  us,  even  in  our  hearts.  Oh,  I  feel  that 
'  this  peaceful  calm  within  my  breast '  is,  indeed,  '  the  sure 
pledge  of  heavenly  rest.'  May  I  be  more  fervent  in  prayer 
during  the  remainder  of  this  day." 

"  14i7i.  —  I  believe  that  my  Heavenly  Father  is  drawing 
me  nearer  to  Himself  by  the  sweet  influence  of  the  Holy 
Spirit.  I  long  to  be  more  closely  united  to  Christ.  Yester- 
day was  a  happy  day  :  I  had  much  solitude  :  and  solitude  is 
to  me  an  invaluable  thing.  I  spent  the  early  part  of  the 
morning  in  prayer  and  self-examination,  the  remainder  in 
reading  the  Bible,  and  then  retired  to  bed  in  acute  bodily 
suffering,  but  with  a  trust  that  God  will  bless  it  to  my  soul, 
and,  I  hope,  to  the  spiritual  welfare  of  others.  I  had  a  hot 
fever ;  felt  very  far  from  well,  and  reflected  that  the  remain- 
der of  my  sojourn  here  will  probably  be  passed  in  aggravated 
bodily  suff"ering.  To  the  flesh  this  is  rather  a  dark  picture, 
but  the  light  of  faith  illumines  it.  My  Heavenly  Father  has 
supported  me ;  he  has  even  made  me  feel  that  mine  are 
'  light  afilictions,'  and  I  believe  that,  through  His  infinite 
mercy,  they  will  work  for  me  a  '  far  more  exceeding  and  eter- 
nal weight  of  glory.'  I  am  willing  to  sufier  the  will  of  the 
Lord,  and  even  thankful.  I  have  felt  to-day,  as  I  should 
suppose  a  person  in  the  last  stage  of  consumption  would  feel, 
such  exceeding  weakness,  and  pain  in  my  breast ;  but  I  have 
been  supported.     Oh,  then,  let  me  not  doubt. 

"  I  had  a  very  pleasant  ride  this  afternoon.  I  felt  inte- 
rested for  the  souls  of  the  multitudes  I  saw  in  the  streets. 
The  country  looked  very  sweet :    how  much  more  beautiful 


1834.]  SUFFERING    AND    PEACE.  87 

will  be  the  better  country  !  Oli,  that  I  may  be  safely  land- 
ed there  ere  long,  if  it  be  my  Heavenly  Father's  will." 

"  15^7i.  —  Another  day  of  bodily  suffering  and  peace  of 
mind  has  passed.  Oh,  that  I  could  praise  my  Heavenly  Fa- 
ther as  I  ought  for  his  exceeding  mercies.  Spiritual  bless- 
ings seem  to  me  more  than  ever  desirable. 

"  If  I  can  judge  from  feelings,  I  shall  not  live  very  long. 
I  suffer  more  and  more. 

*  'Tis  my  happiness  below. 

Not  to  live  without  the  cross  ; 
But  the  Saviour's  power  to  know, 
Sanctifying  every  loss.'  " 

"  16th.  —  Let  me  retire  with  a  grateful  heart  for  the  con- 
tinued mercies  of  this  day,  both  temporal  and  spiritual.  I 
enjoyed  my  twilight  hour  of  devotion  more  than  usual,  and 
during  the  evening  had  sweet  relief  from  prayer.  I  have  not, 
as  I  once  had,  a  continual  weight  at  my  heart.  I  know  now 
where  to  go  with  my  perplexities  and  sufferings.  How  ar- 
dently I  desire  a  nearer  approach  to  my  Saviour  !  It  is,  I 
feel,  only  in  a  near  union  with  Him  that  safety  consists.  I 
finished  to-day,  Henry  Martyn's  Life :  I  prayed  earnestly 
that  I  might  derive  instruction  from  it,  and  trust  that  I 
have." 

^^IStJi.  —  This  is  our  lecture  night,  and  I  determined  to 
spend  it  in  my  room,  and  hold  communion  in  secret,  but  I 
have  been  weighed  down  by  pain,  and  have  really  been 
scarcely  able  to  think  connectedly,  but  I  can  thank  my  Hea- 
venly Father  for  my  afflictions,  for  I  know  that  He  will 
sanctify  them.  I  think  my  faith  is  strengthened.  I  can 
never  be  satisfied  till  I  know  more  of  Jesus  ;  until  my  love 
for  Him  is  entire ;  my  trust  unshaken.  '  Love  divine,  how 
sweet  thou  art !'  " 


CHAPTER  VI. 

1834. 

Convictions  of  Duty — Letter  of  Encouragement — Assurance  —  Enjoy- 
ment of  Christian  Biography — Love  for  Society  of  Christians  —  De- 
light in  the  Lav/  of  God  —  Interest  in  the  Church  —  Letter  to  an 
Enquirer — Dr.  Bedell's  Death — Funeral  Sermon — Religious  Souvenir. 

Could  eleven  weeks  of  imprisonment  and  suffering  have 
been  more  profitably  spent !  How  was  the  Saviour's  promise 
fulfilled  to  this  his  meek,  languishing,  waiting  disciple  :  "  If 
a  man  love  me  he  will  keep  my  words,  and  my  Father  will 
love  him,  and  we  will  come  unto  him  and  make  our  abode 
with  him."  These  pantings  after  holiness  and  God,  these 
sweet  refreshing  glimpses  of  the  Saviour  and  his  kingdom, 
this  discovery  of  the  treasures  of  knowledge,  wisdom  and 
love,  hid  in  the  divine  word,  are  undeniable  proofs  of  the 
presence  and  the  instruction  of  the  Holy  Ghost  the  Com- 
forter. And  when  we  trace  such  a  record  of  the  inner  life 
of  a  young  and  admired  female,  whose  twenty-first  year  is 
not  yet  completed,  have  we  not  cause  to  exclaim,  "  Who 
teacheth  like  Him?" 

We  cannot  forbear  to  notice,  in  this  heart-chronicle,  the 
allusion  to  the  deep  impression  of  the  writer  that  there  was 
a  work  for  her  to  do,  and  that  this  commission  specially  was 
to  urge  upon  her  fellow-creatures  "  immediate  attention  to 
their  souls'  best  interests."  "  Something  tells  me  that  there 
is  work  for  me  to  do ;  that  I  must  warn  those  around  me  with 
faithfulness  of  their  danger,  and  urge  them  to  flee  to  Jesus 
for  safety."  How  well  and  faithfully  this  work  was  done, 
there  are  many  witnesses.  And  how  effectually  this  work 
can  be  done  by  woman,  without  stepping  beyond  her  own 
sphere,  even  by  the  enfeebled  and  secluded  invalid,  will  be 

(88) 


1834.]  CONVICTIONS     OF    DUTY.  89 

evident  to  every  attentive  reader  of  this  biography.  When 
we  compare,  with  her  subsequent  course,  this  transcript  of 
her  early  and  deep  convictions  as  to  the  duty  of  direct  per- 
sonal effort  for  the  salvation  of  others,  we  may  recognize 
with  devout  gratitude  the  agency  of  the  Spirit,  preparing  her 
for  future  and  extended  usefulness.  Designs  of  mercy  for 
many  souls  besides  her  own  were  connected  with  this  allot- 
ment of  suff'ering.  God  was  preparing  a  fit  messenger  to 
invite  the  impoverished  and  the  thirsting  to  the  living  waters. 
The  Saviour  was  fitting  a  polished  shaft  to  his  bow  of 
strength.  And  while  purifying  the  soul  of  his  handmaiden, 
as  gold  is  purified  seven  times  in  the  fire,  he  impressed  upon 
her  inmost  heart  the  nature  of  the  work  which  he  had  for  her 
to  do.  It  was  no  vague,  enthusiastic  impression  ;  no  mysti- 
cal, unaccountable  fancy.  But  it  Avas  the  clear,  calm  con- 
viction of  an  understanding  and  conscience  enlightened  by 
the  word  and  Spirit  of  God :  the  overflowing  sympathy  of  a 
heart  constrained  by  the  love  of  Christ,  and  responding  to 
the  Master's  charge,  "  Freely  ye  have  received,  freely  give." 
She  was  not  disobedient  to  what  she  interpreted  to  be  a 
'  heavenly  voice ;'  and  to  recommend  the  Lord  Jesus  and  his 
salvation  to  the  unconverted,  became  a  fixed  principle  of  her 
life.  And  for  the  different  stages  to  which  the  pilgrim  to- 
wards the  heavenly  Zion  had  attained,  for  the  varied  diffi- 
culties, temptations  and  trials  of  the  way,  she  had  ever 
ready  the  appropriate  and  seasonable  counsel,  drawing  con- 
stantly on  her  own  experience,  and  on  the  treasures  of  the 
word  of  God. 

Letter  to  a  Frietid. 

"April  13,  1834. 

*     *     *     "  This  has  been  to  me  a  most  delightful  day.     I  have 

spent  nearly  all  of  it  in  the  solitude  of  my  chamber,  and  I  felt  that 

my  feelings  could  harmonize  with  the  tranquillity  and  peace  that 

surrounded  me.     The  air  was  very  balmy,  the  birds  singing  in  the 

trees,  the  grass  green,  and  I  could  almost  have  fancied  myself  in  the 

country.     I  felt  something  of  the  Sabbath  of  the  soul.     Among  other 

causes  of  gratitude  that  warmed  my  heart,  the  contemplation  of  my 

8* 


90  LETTER    OF    ENCOURAGEMENT.  [1834. 

Heaven]}'  Father's  poodness  towards  thee,  dear  E.,  has  not  been  for- 
gotten. Tlie  reception  of  thy  letter  was  much  desired,  and  its  pe- 
rusal gave  me  great  satisfaction.  This  may  seem  cruel,  but  can  I 
otherwise  than  rejoice  when  I  witness  evidences  of  '  godly  sorrow/ 
that  will,  I  trust,  work  'repentance  not  to  be  repented  of?'  Rejoice, 
dear  E.,  in  the  loving-kindness  of  our  Heavenly  Father;  thank  Him 
that  He  has  made  thee  feel  the  plague  of  thy  own  heart;  remember 
that  He  wounds  to  heal.  '  Tiie  bruised  reed  will  He  not  break,  the 
smoking  flax  will  He  not  quench.'  He  has  said,  '  Come  unto  me, 
all  ye  that  are  weary  and  heavy  laden,  and  I  will  give  you  rest ;'  and 
'  Whosoever  cometh  to  me  I  will  in  no  wise  cast  out.'  Do  not  fear 
to  trust  Him  who  was  crucified  for  tlice,  and  who  is  '  faithful  and  just 
to  forgive  us  our  sins,  and  to  cleanse  us  from  all  unrighteousness.' 
The  twilight  hour  has  come,  and  I  will  now  pray  for  thee,  that  thee 
may  have  grace  to  help  in  time  of  need. 

'■'■Tue&daij  eve.  —  I  shall  not  feel  quite  comfortable  until  I  have 
dispatched  this  letter,  for  although  I  feel  my  inability  to  'minister 
to  a  mind  diseased,'  yet  with  my  Heavenly  Father's  aid  I  would 
direct  thy  attention  to  the  Balm  of  Gilead,  'a  sovereign  balm  for 
every  wound,  a  cordial  for  our  fears.'  Thee  says,  dear  E.,  that  thee 
feels  'a  deep  sense  of  thy  sinfulness  in  the  sight  of  a  pure  and  holy 
God,  and  thy  need  of  the  redeeming  blood  of  Jesus.'  With  these 
feelings,  thee  is  as  worthy  a  suppliant  as  has  ever  since  the  creation 
sought  and  found  redemption.  Thee  'prays  for  faith.'  Thank 
heaven,  this  is  a  prayer  which,  if  offered  with  sincerity  and  humility, 
never  has  been  and  never  will  be  rejected  to  all  eternity. 

"And  now  let  me  offer  a  few  words  of  advice,  which,  if  thee  will 
be  persuaded  to  take,  will  save  thee  from  much  danger  and  needless 
suffering.  Do  not  stop,  dear  E.,  to'  analyse  thy  feelings.  Do  not 
wait  to  consider  how  deep  a  sense  of  sinfulness  thee  has  attained, 
how  fur  thee  is  indifferent  to  things  of  a  worldly  nature,  and  whether 
a  spiritual  taste  has  been  excited  in  thy  heart,  but  go  to  Jesus  just 
as  thou  art.  Remember  that  He  sees  and  pities  thy  infirmities,  and 
is  more  willing  to  extend  relief  than  thou  to  ask  it.  If  thee  cannot 
believe,  let  thy  prayer  be,  '  Help  thou  mine  unbelief,'  and  I  have  the 
authority  of  my  Maker  to  promise  thee  that  thy  prayer  will  be 
answered.  Oh,  be  very  fervent  in  prayer,  and  if  thy  prayers  are 
cold,  do  not  be  discouraged  —  do  not  sin  against  God  by  doubting 
His  mercy. 

"  I  would  recommend  to  thy  attention  the  fift3'-fifth  chapter  of 
Fsaiah.     We  have,  indeed,  '  exceeding  great  and  precious  promises.' 


1834.]  CIIURCir  PRIVILEGES.  91 

"I  think  I  understand,  tliy  ch;iracfer,  and  I  sympathize  with  the 
trials  with  which  thee  h;!s  to  contend,  as  experience  has  taught  me 
their  painful  and  injuriuns  influence;  but  no  difficulties  are  too  great 
for  the  transforming  power  of  Divine  grace. 

"I  have  wasted  so  many  hours  in  fruitless  speculation  on  subjects 
in  which  I  have  no  immediate  concern,  and  have  found  this  habit  so 
detrimental  to  my  soul's  best  interests,  that  I  would  warn  thee 
against  it.  Why  cannot  we  feel  that  we  are  nothing,  that  we  know 
nothing,  and  can  do  nothing,  that  we  are  as  clay  in  the  hands  of  the 
potter.  Oh,  there  is  nothing  so  desiraWe  as  an  humble,  child-like 
spirit.  '  Whosoever  shall  humble  himself  as  this  little  child,  the 
same  shall  be  greatest  in  the  kingdom  of  heaven,'  are  the  words  of 
our  Saviour;  and  what  are  we,  that  we  should  presume  to  weigh  the 
counsels  of  the  Most  High  in  the  balance  of  our  feeble,  tiny  reason? 
Truly,  the  Lord  is  merciful  and  gracious,  '  slow  to  anger  and  plen- 
teous in  mercy.'  Thee  will  find  it  very  profitable  to  read  the  Scrip- 
tures with  the  prayer,  *  Open  tliou  mine  eyes  that  I  may  behold 
wondrous  things  out  of  thy  law;'  and  I  can  tell  thee  from  experience, 
that  the  more  frequently  and  the  more  prayerfully  thee  does  this, 
the  more  simple  will  appear  the  plan  of  salvation,  and  wisdom's  ways 
more  pleasant  and  peaceful. 

"I  feel  my  weakness  and  unworthiness  when  I  would  advise  an- 
other, but  I  can  fearlessly  direct  thy  attention  to  the  source  whence 
I  have  experienced  relief,  to  the  fountain  of  living  waters,  from  which 
I  trust  thee  and  I  will  continue  to  drink,  until  we  are  made  inha- 
bitants of  the  city  of  God  which  is  watered  by  the  river  of  life." 

^^Suiidaj/,  20th. —  I  was  mercifully  permitted  to  go  to 
church  this  morning,  after  an  absence  of  twelve  weeks,  and  I 
trust  I  have  learned,  in  some  degree,  to  prize  this  privilege, 
though  not  exempt  from  the  attacks  of  my  old  enemy  — 
w^andcrino'  thou2;hts.  I  know  it  is  because  I  am  not  suffi- 
ciently  watchful.  Oh,  I  am  afraid, —  indeed,  I  know,  that  I 
look  too  much  to  my  own  heart.  I  have  not  a  simple  faith 
in  my  dear  Saviour.  The  sermon  was  very  solemn ;  the  text 
was,  '  Do  "we  then  make  void  the  law  through  faith  ?'  I 
thought,  as  I  looked  on  the  pale  countenance  of  our  dear 
Pastor,  that  it  would  not  be  very  long  before  we  were  both  in 
the  presence  of  our  Mokcr.     I  trust  it  will  bo  with  the  church 


92  ASSURANCE.  [1834. 

of  tlic  first-born  —  the  assembly  of  the  just  made  perfect.  I 
have  cause  to  be  thankful  for  the  blessing  of  a  faithful  Pastor, 
and  I  trust  if  I  am  agnin  permitted  to  listen  to  his  teachings, 
I  shall  not  suffer  them  to  be  unto  me  '  a  savor  of  death  unto 
death.'  I  feci  assured  that  through  the  merits  of  my  Re- 
deemer, I  shall  go  from  strength  to  strength,  until  I  shall 
appear  in  Zion." 

The  following  letter,  addressed  to  a  very  dear  and  valued 
Christian  friend,  is  the  first  of  several  which  Avill  be  intro- 
duced in  this  memoir  : 

To  Mrs.  J. 

April  22d,  1834. 
Tor  the  affectionate  interest  you  have  manifested  in  my 
welfare  I  feel  most  grateful,  and  can  assure  you  that  it  is  warmly 
reciprocated.  The  friendsliip  and  companionship  of  any  of  the  great 
'cloud  of  witnesses,'  whose  faith  and  patience  we  are  encouraged  to 
follow,  that  we  may  with  them  inherit  the  promises,  I  deem  one  of 
the  richest  blessings  that  my  Heavenly  Father  has  bestowed  upon 
me,  and  for  the  enjoyment  of  such  society  would  gladly  exchange 
any  pursuit  that  has  not  a  tendency  to  raise  my  thoughts  heaven- 
ward. How  often  do  I  regret  that  I  have  so  little  profited  by  such 
intercourse !     .      .      . 

''  I  rode  to  church  last  Sunday,  after  an  absence  of  twelve  weeks, 
and  felt  truly  thankful  to  he  permitted  once  more  to  enjoy  a  privi- 
lege, the  value  of  which,  I  trust,  I  have  in  some  degree  learned  to 
appreciate.  Our  dear  pastor  appears  to  be  still  declining  in  health, 
and  I  do  not  think  it  probable  that  Tils  earthly  pilgrimage  will  be 

long  continued.      IMr.  has  been  very  ill  for  a  few  weeks  past, 

but  has  been  better  during  the  last  few  days.  I  was  over  to  see 
him  about  ten  days  ago,  and  was  much  gratified  by  my  visit.  He 
is  in  a  most  desirable  state,  and  though  enduring  much  acute  physi- 
cal suffering,  has  learned  to  esteem  it  a  'light  affliction;'  and  truly 
it  should  be  so  considered,  when  we  feel  that  it  is  the  needful  chas- 
tisement of  a  Father's  love,  and  will,  by  His  blessing,  be  made  con- 
ducive to  our  eternal  welfare. 

*  Then  not  for  us  —  oh,  not  for  us 
To  say  what  should  bo  given  ; 
By  Him  who  knows  how  much  we  need 
To  turn  our  hearts  to  heaven.'  " 


1834.]  SUFFERING.  93 

^^  Diary,  April  2-^t7i.  —  I  have  felt  unusually  sad  to-day, 
partly,  perhaps,  on  account  of  physical  suffering,  but  chiefly 
because  I  felt  that  my  heart  needed  a  deeper  work  of  grace. 
I  have  no  cause  of  sadness  on  this  account,  surely.  He  who 
has  given  me  the  desire  will  grant  its  fulfilment.  I  do  ar- 
dently long  for  the  light  of  my  Heavenly  Father's  counte- 
nance. 0,  for  the  faith  that  overcometh  the  world  !  Well, 
I  will  wait  patiently  upon  the  Lord,  and  I  am  as  well  con- 
vinced as  I  am  of  my  existence,  that  He  will  fulfil  my 
desire." 

"  28fh.  —  I  have  sufiered  more  than  I  can  express  during 
the  last  two  or  three  days.  I  do  not  think  there  can  be  the 
least  probability  of  my  restoration  to  health.  I  have  thought 
so  for  a  long  time  past,  and  sometimes  hope,  if  it  be  right, 
that  this  mortal  shall  soon  put  on  immortality.  But  I  would 
have  no  will  of  my  own  on  the  subject. 

"  The  text  for  this  evening  is,  '  Let  them  that  sufier  ac- 
cording to  the  will  of  God,  commit  the  keeping  of  their  souls 
to  Him  in  well-doing,  as  unto  a  faithful  Creator.'  I  desire 
ever  to  place  my  confidence  in  the  supporting  arm  of  my 
Heavenly  Father,  and  I  pray  that  He  will  send  me  all  the 
affliction  and  suffering  that  He  sees  I  need ;  that  He  will 
sanctify  every  pain  I  feel.  I  very  often  ask  myself  whether 
I  am  fit,  if  suddenly  taken,  to  appear  in  the  presence  of  a 
holy,  heart-searching  God.  I  can  only  exercise  a  simple 
faith  in  Jesus.  I  have  nothing  to  fear.  I  know  that  I  will 
not  be  taken  before  my  Heavenly  Father  sees  that  I  am 
worthy,  through  Christ,  of  an  everlasting  abode  in  heaven, 
and  I  do,  with  entire  sincerity,  W^l  ^^  lliva  to  do  with  me 
according  to  His  will. 

"  It  seems  strange  that  I,  who  know  so  little,  should  ever 
feel  an  emotion  of  spiritual  pride,  and  yet  I  fear  I  have  some- 
times felt  it:  what  can  be  more  odious  in  the  sight  of  God? 
I  am  far  from  indifierent  to  the  applause  of  men.     May  I 


94  JOYINTHELORD.  [1834. 

never  be  one  of  tliose  who  '  love  the  praise  of  men  more  than 
the  praise  of  God.' 

"  Dear  Saviour,  manifest  Thyself  in  all  Thy  loveliness  to 
my  waiting  heart,  and  make  me  thine  forever.  Lordj  into 
Thy  hands  I  commend  my  spirit,  both  now  and  ever,  amen." 

'•''May  A.ih^  Sunday.  —  IIow  can  I  thank  my  Heavenly 
Father  for  His  infinite  mercy  towards  so  unworthy  a  crea- 
ture ?  I  forget  not  his  benefits  ;  I  delight  to  remember  them, 
but  I  want  a  new  song  put  into  my  mouth.  I  want  to  bless, 
to  glorify,  to  adore  His  holy  name.  '  0  Lord,  open  Thou 
my  lips,  and  my  mouth  shall  show  forth  Thy  praise.'  How 
have  I  enjoyed  this  day  ?  And  this  happiness  has  been  de- 
rived from  the  Soui'ce  of  life  and  light,  not  from  the  impure 
streams  of  the  world's  pleasure.  I  have  tasted  the  water  of 
life.  /  sliall  drink  and  be  satisfied.  I  was  thankful  this 
morning  when  I  awoke  and  saw  the  sun  shining  through  the 
window  ;  and  though  I  was  far  from  well,  determined  not  to 
be  prevented  from  going  to  the  sanctuary.  I  went  with  a 
sincere  prayer  that  the  means  of  grace  might  be  blessed  to 
my  soul,  and  my  prayer  was  answered.  I  knew  it  would  be. 
I  did  most  cordially  unite  in  the  beautiful  and  sublime  ser- 
vice of  our  church.  I  love  it  more  and  more,  and  wonder 
that  any  can  think  it  tedious,  at  least  any  whose  hearts  have 
been  touched  by  divine  truth.  -  I  was  much  aifected :  the 
hymn  was  so  beautiful,  and  the  sermon  one  of  the  best  I  have 
ever  been  privileged  to  hear." 

'■'•  Ma.y  Sth.  —  I  long  for  a  greater  manifestation  of  Divine 
love.  I  have  a  constant  reaching  forward  to  something  which 
I  have  not  attained.  I  am  too  indifferent.  I  do  not  strive 
as  I  ought,  to  enter  in  at  the  strait  gate.  I  desire  to  have 
an  exact  understanding  of  my  spiritual  condition.  I  feel  that 
it  is  not  Avhat  it  ought  to  be  :  that  I  want  more  faith,  hope, 
and  charity.  It  seems  to  me  that  my  religious  feelings  are 
deepening,  rather  than  growing  brighter  :  the  subject  is  sel- 
dom absent  from  my  mind:  I  could  ahnost  say  never,  when 


1834.]         THE    ANTICIPATED    ORDINANCE.  95 

aAvake.  I  am  sensible  of  feelings  of  solemnity  that  I  have 
seldom  known  before  —  perhaps  eternity  is  near.  Well,  be 
it  so.  I  am  persuaded  that  Jesus  will  be  with  me  in  my  pas- 
sage through  the  dark  valley.  If  I  am  not  mistaken,  it  is 
the  supreme  desire  of  my  heart  to  know  and  do  the  will  of 
my  Heavenly  Father.  I  thank  Him  for  the  strength  He 
gives  me  to  suffer  it.  I  long  to  know  the  length,  and  breadth, 
and  height,  and  depth  of  the  love  of  Christ. 

'  Jesus,  my  strength,  my  hope, 
On  Thee  I  cast  my  care.' 

"  0,  that  my  soul  were  drawn  out  in  more  fervent  desires 
for  the  salvation  of  my  friends,  and  for  the  redemption  of 
every  human  being.  I  am  often  astonished  at  the  coldness 
of  my  heart  on  this  subject.  Though  I  cannot  perform  a 
missionary's  labor,  I  will  pray  for  a  missionary's  spirit — a 
missionary's  love  for  souls." 

'■''May  2l6'^.  —  My  sufferings  have  so  much  increased,  that 
it  is  very  seldom  that  I  feel  able  to  make  any  record  of  this 
kind,  or  to  hold  epistolary  intercourse  Avith  my  friends,  but 
in  this  it  is  my  earnest  desire  to  bow  with  entire  submission 
to  my  Heavenly  Father's  will.  Since  I  last  wrote,  I  have 
been  favored  with  many  privileges,  and  have  abundant  cause 
for  gratitude,  but  how  comparatively  heartless  have  been  my 
thanks  !  Did  my  salvation  depend  on  my  own  works,  I  should 
have  no  hope,  no  security.  It  is  to  the  merits  of  my  dear 
Redeemer  that  I  trust  for  pardon  and  grace. 

"  Last  Sabbath  was  a  day  I  had  long  anticipated,  and  my 
desire  to  avail  myself  of  the  blessed  ordinance  of  which  I 
have  been  deprived  during  the  last  four  months  was  gratified. 
I  endeavored  to  spend  the  preceding  week  as  much  in  prepa- 
ration for  it  as  I  could,  and  prayed  earnestly  that  it  might 
be  accompanied  with  a  blessing.  I  felt  that  I  did  truly  re- 
pent of  my  past  sins,  was  in  love  and  charity  with  all  men, 
and  with  the  grace  of  God  did  most  seriously  intend  to  lead 
a  new  life,  and  felt  a  confidence  that  I  did  not  unworthily 


96  CHRISTIAN    BIOGRAPHY.  [1834. 

partake  of  so  sacred  and  solemn  an  ordinance,  though  in  me 
there  is  no  good  thing. 

"  I  have  been  reading,  lately,  '  Wolfe's  Life,'  and  the 
'  Memoirs  of  Brainerd.'  I  think  Christian  biography  very 
instructive,  and  I  particularly  enjoy  the  lives  of  Missionaries, 
because  I  find  that  my  prayers  are  thereby  rendered  more 
fervent  for  the  coming  of  the  Redeemer'^  kingdom,  and  for 
the  encouragement  of  the  instruments  He  has  chosen  to  pro- 
mote it.  Oh,  that  the  zeal  of  Martyn  and  Brainerd  might 
be  infused  into  every  Christian  bosom ;  and  0  that  I,  Avho 
seem  so  useless,  might  be  filled  with  the  spirit  of  supplication 
that  the  Lord  of  the  harvest  will  send  forth  laborers !  I  am 
astonished  at  my  indifference  to  these  things,  —  it  really 
alarms  me.  Almost  all  I  can  do  is  to  pray,  and  my  prayers 
are  so  cold  and  feeble  that  I  am  ashamed  of  them.  0,  Lord, 
give  mo  entire  dependence  on  the  teachings  of  Thy  Holy 
Spirit. 

"  23(1  —  The  country  is  always  delightful  to  me,  and  it  is 
more  delightful  to  enjoy  the  society  of  true  Christians,  and 
the  privilege  of  family  worship.  It  difiuses  a  prayerful  feel- 
ing over  the  heart,  and  renders  it  doubly  susceptible  of  devout 
affections.  I  sometimes  feel  so  ardent  a  love  for  those  whom 
I  believe  are  the  followers  of  the  Lamb,  that  I  long  for  some 
mode  of  expressing  it.  I  would  prefer  their  society,  amid 
the  absence  of  external  attractions,  even  in  poverty  and  pain, 
to .  the  fellowship  of  the  ungodly,  though  surrounded  with 
wealth  and  splendor. 

'■''Sunday  evening.  —  I  have  attended  church  twice  to-day, 
and  though  often  interrupted  by  wandering  thoughts,  have, 
in  some  degree,  improved  the  privilege  with  which  I  have 
been  blessed.  I  earnestly  pray  for  grace  to  keep  holy  the 
Sabbath.  I  feel  more  and  more  the  necessity,  the  benefit, 
and  the  delight  of  obeying  this  commandment,  and  I  would 
have  its  importance  every  day  more  deeply  impressed  upon 
my  mind. 


1834.]  DELIGHT    IN    THE    LAW    OF    GOD.  97 

"  What  a  blessing  it  is  that  the  law  is  so  strict.  '  Thy 
word  is  very  pure,  therefore  Thy  servant  loveth  it.'  I  have 
had  great  delight  in  reading  the  Bible  to-day.  I  wonder  that 
my  heart  is  not  more  alive  to  its  beauties.  I  much  enjoyed 
evening  devotion  —  I  could  scarcely  bear  to  go  to  bed.  IIow 
much  more  happiness  is  to  be  derived  from  such  moments, 
than  from  the  vain  pursuits  of  this  world !  If  1  live  till  to- 
morrow, I  desire  to  be  more  instant  in  prayer,  more  patient 
in  tribulation,  more  abundant  in  good  words  and  works  than 
I  have  been,  and  above  all  blessings,  I  desire  and  pray  for  a 
simple  faith  in  the  merits  of  my  Redeemer,  a  grateful  heart 
to  praise  Him  for  His  love,  and  a  spirit  of  deep  humility. 
These,  and  every  other  blessing,  I  ask  in  the  name  of  Jesus, 
to  whom,  with  the  Father  and  the  Holy  Ghost,  I  desire  grace 
to  ascribe,  with  my  whole  heart,  glory  and  honor  for  ever  and 
ever.    Amen. 

"  29^7i.  —  The  sufferings  of  this  morning  have  exerted  an 
influence  against  which  I  always  contend.  They  have  drawn 
many  a  tear  from  my  eyes,  but  indeed  they  were  not  tears 
of  repining,  or  unwillingness  to  suffer,  for  I  can  say  sin- 
cerely, 'Even  so,  Father,  for  so  it  seemed  good  in  Thy 
sight ;'  and  my  earnest  prayer  is,  that  God  will  give  me  just 
that  measure  of  suffering  which  He  sees  is  best  for  me,  and 
that,  according  to  His  promise.  He  will  endue  me  with 
strength  to  bear  it.  And  if  the  perishing  of  the  outward 
man  be  rendered  instrumental  in  renewing  the  inward  man, 
shall  I  murmur,  or  even  desire  that  the  rose  of  health  should 
bloom  upon  my  cheek  ?  No,  I  would  not  even  wish  for  the 
mitigation  of  a  single  pang.  It  is  the  supreme  desire  of  my 
soul  to  adore  and  glorify  God's  holy  name,  and  it  is  my 
brightest  hope  of  heaven,  that  there  I  shall  praise  Him  as  I 
ought,  and  love  Him  as  I  would.  The  footsteps  of  decay 
come  stealing  on.  To-night  I  feel  in  great  pain.  I  do  not 
like  to  tell  others  of  it,  for  I  wish  to  be  entirely  resigned  and 
cheerful  under  suffering,  and  it  is  not  good  to  complain. 
G  9 


98  THOUGHTS    OF    HEAVEN.  [1834. 

'■'■June  9t7i. —  Teviora.  —  I  am  sitting  in  my  sweet  little 
room,  listening  to  the  warbling  of  tlie  birds,  enjoying  the 
pure  air,  and  breathing  a  fervent  prayer  that  the  solitude  of 
the  country  may  be  blessed  to  my  spiritual  interests.  Came 
up  on  Saturday,  with  my  dear  mother,  and  intend  to  make  a 
sojourn  of  two  or  three  weeks.  I  greatly  prefer  the  country, 
but  much  regret  the  sanctuary.  '  Truly  my  soul  hath  a  de- 
sire and  longing  for  the  courts  of  the  Lord,'  Yesterday  was 
the  holj  Sabbath,  and  I  did  earnestly  pray  that  I  might  be 
enabled  to  spend  it  profitably,  but  it  was  not  like  the  Sabbaths 
I  spend  at  home. 

"  I  have  always  been  astonished,  since  I  have  had  some 
sense  of  the  necessity  of  a  change  of  heart,  that  I  am  not 
more  interested  in  the  salvation  of  others,  and  I  believe  it  is 
because  I  have  not  faithfully  improved  the  concern  that  has 
been  given  me.  Now  I  have  made  it  a  subject  of  especial 
prayer  that  I  may  be  rendered  useful  here,  and  have  brought 
up  some  tracts  that  I  hope  may  be  blessed.  I  have  several 
objects  much  at  heart. 

"  There  is  one  person  in  whose  spiritual  interests  I  feel 
deep  anxiety,  and  towards  whom  I  have  never  discharged  my 
duty.  Now  I  know  that  if  I  pray  fervently  for  the  salvation 
of  this  person ;  if,  in  the  strength  of  the  Lord,  I  endeavor  to 
maintain  a  strictly  consistent  walk ;  if,  on  all  suitable  occa- 
sions, I  urge  the  importance  of  a  change  of  heart,  and  the 
dangers  of  delay  ;  and  if  I  constantly  pray  for  the  aid  of  the 
Spirit,  and  confidently  trust  in  the  promises  of  God,  I  shall 
not  be  disappointed.  Oh,  that  I  may  be  enabled  to  do  all 
this  !  Oh,  that  all  fear  and  all  love  of  the  world  may  be 
taken  out  of  my  heart !  It  is,  perhaps,  equally  sinful  to  be 
discouraged  by  the  wickedness  of  my  heart,  and  to  think  well 
of  it. 

''  It  drew  tears  of  gratitude  and  delight  from  my  eyes  to 
witness  so  many  proofs  of  the  growing  prosperity  of  our  be- 
loved Church.     It  will  be  impossible  to  express  the  affection 


1834.]  INTEREST    IN    THE    CHURCH.  99 

I  feel  for  it.  I  do  earnestly  desire  to  be  preserved  from  illi- 
berality  to  other  denominations.  With  all  that  are  orthodox 
I  feel  great  unity,  and  can  attend  their  churches  with  plea- 
sure and  profit.  But  my  love  for  my  own  dear  church  is  of 
a  peculiar  kind.  It  is,  more  than  any  other,  the  home  of  my 
heart.  Her  government  appears  to  me  to  be  more  consistent 
with  Scripture,  and  I  do  not  think  this  opinion  is  the  result 
of  prejudice,  for  I  was  not  brought  up  in  her  bosom.  Her 
services  are  sublime  and  impressive,  and  I  do  hope  have  been 
blessed  to  my  soul.  Her  ministers,  with  whom  I  have  been 
acquainted,  have,  most  of  them,  appeared  to  be  devoted 
Christians,  faithful  soldiers  of  the  cross ;  although  there  is 
reason  to  fear  that  into  her  communion  some  unfaithful  shep- 
herds have  intruded. 

"  There  is  a  peculiar  solemnity  in  the  worship  of  the  Epis- 
copal Church  that  is  very  profitable  to  me.  '  The  Lord'  seems 
indeed  '  in  his  holy  temple,'  and  my  heart  echoes  the  words, 
'Let  all  the  earth  keep  silence  before  Him.'  And  there  is 
great  satisfaction  in  uniting  with  God's  people  in  heartfelt 
expressions  of  sinfulness,  and  prayers  for  pardon.  Our 
solemn  Litany  strengthens  my  soul,  and  though  our  sacred 
music  does  not  always  kindle  in  my  heart  the  rapture  of  de- 
votion, it  deepens  my  desire  to  ofi"er  a  worthy  sacrifice  of 
thanksgiving  —  to  '  sing  the  song  of  Moses  and  of  the  Lamb.' 
Oh,  may  I  sing  it  for  ever  and  ever  before  the  throne  of  the 
Most  High  !  I  have  felt  St.  Andrew's  to  be  truly  the  temple 
of  the  Lord,  and  I  eagerly  anticipate  the  period  of  my  return 
home,  that,  if  it  is  my  Heavenly  Father's  will,  I  may  once 
more  enter  its  sacred  courts.  '  Walk  about  Zion,  go  round 
about  her,  and  tell  the  towers  thereof;  mark  well  her  bul- 
warks, set  up  her  houses,  that  ye  may  tell  them  that  come 
after.  For  this  God  is  our  God,  for  ever  and  ever ;  He  shall 
be  our  guide  unto  death.' 

"  12^A. — I  have  been  lying  down  the  greater  part  of  the 
day,  and  have  suffered  even  more  than  usual.     I  have  now 


100  DIARY.  [1834. 

fin  agonizing  pain  in  my  breast,  but  have  great  cause  to  be 
thankful  for  the  patience  that  is  given  me  to  support  suffer- 
ing.    My  earnest  prayer  is,  '  Lord,  increase  my  faith.' 

"  Oh,  what  is  there  in  this  workl  calculated  to  impart  satis- 
faction to  one  who  has  been  made  to  thirst  for  living  waters  — 
to  hunger  for  the  bread  of  life  ?  Truly,  all  is  vanity  ;  and 
intercourse  with  worldly  people  is  to  me  more  productive  of 
vexation  of  spirit  than  any  thing  else,  except  my  own  short- 
comings. 

^^ Sunday.  —  Sunset.  —  This  has  been  a  lovely  day.  This 
is  to  me  a  blessed  and  happy  season, — 

'Return,  thou  wished  and  welcome  guest, 
Thou  day  of  holiness  and  rest, 
Thou  best  and  dearest  of  the  seven, 
Emblem  and  harbinger  of  heaven.' 

If  my  life  be  spared  another  week,  I  trust  I  shall  grow  in 
grace  —  that  I  shall  be  more  careful  to  say  nothing  of  others 
that  I  would  not  have  them  say  of  me  —  more  watchful 
against  idle  words  and  wandering  thoughts  —  more  careful 
to  cultivate  a  spirit  of  humility.  I  have  been  engaged  the 
greater  part  of  the  morning  in  hearing  the  servants  read, 
and  in  reading  and  talking  to  them.  I  never  before  have 
felt  so  much  liberty  in  speaking,  and  I  hope  that  what  I  have 
said  may  be  blessed,  as  it  did  Jiot  come  from  myself,  but 
from  God.  The  promise,  '  My  word  shall  not  return  unto 
me  void,'  very  often  encourages  me,  when  I  see  little  reason 
to  hope  for  good  effects.  Oh,  if  I  were  a  devoted  Christian, 
to  how  many  souls  I  might  be  blessed  !  All  I  want  is  simple 
faith  in  Jesus.  How  much  I  enjoy  this  solitude  —  at  night, 
especially !  There  is  no  one  to  tempt  me  to  talk,  and  thereby 
to  keep  away  good  thoughts. 

"19f7i!.  —  I  have  concluded  that  the  troublesome  diffidence 
that  so  much  mars  my  pleasure,  when  in  a  great  deal  of  com- 
pany, is  nothing  in  the  world  but  pride  in  the  garb  of  humi* 
lity.    I  would  desire  ever  to  go  into  company  with  a  prepared 


1834.]  LETTERS.  101 

heart,  and  wLilc  surrounded  by  otliers,  endeavor  at  all  times 
to  remember  that  the  all-seeing  eye  is  ujion  me.  I  desire  to 
be  divested  of  a  love  of  admiration  and  applause,  but  to  be 
polite  to  all,  and  then  I  shall  be  enabled  to  escape  the  dan- 
gers which  attend  intercourse  with  the  world.  Oh,  that  my 
thoughts,  words  and  deeds  were  all  purified  by  heavenly  grace. 
When  shall  the  happy  time  arrive  ! 

To  Mrs.  J. 

Bucks  County,  June  13th,  1834. 

"  You  see  I  am  not  at  quite  so  great  a  distance,  nay  dear  Mrs.  J., 
as  when  I  last  wrote ;  and  I  can  assure  you  that,  to  my  heart,  you 
are  nearer  and  dearer  than  ever.  The  assurance  of  your  continued 
remembrance  was  most  gladly  received.  *  *  *  You  observe 
that,  'truly  the  Christian's  life  is  pleasant,  and  all  its  paths  are 
peace.'  To  this  assertion  my  heart  re-echoes  a  cordial  amen ;  for, 
although  my  footsteps  have  but  lately  turned  into  this  narrow  road 
that  '  leads  the  Christian  home  to  God,'  and  though,  from  a  sinful 
want  of  confidence  in  my  Heavenly  Guide,  I  am  prone  to  look  rather 
to  myself  than  Him,  still  I  can  truly  say,  that  I  had  much  rather 
encounter  any  and  every  difficulty,  than  turn  aside  into  the  broad 
path,  for  '  the  air  is  purer,  the  scenery  more  beautiful,  the  society 
far  superior,  the  flowers  strewed  by  the  way-side  never  fading,  and 
the  termination  of  the  pilgrimage  is  the  better  country.'  I  very 
often  think  that  if  I,  a  very  huhe  in  Christ,  have  experienced  the 
pleasantness  and  the  peacefulness  of  this  path  so  fully  as  to  find 
every  other  dry  and  barren,  how,  beyond  all  comprehension,  must 
be  the  happiness  of  the  established,  of  the  devoted  Christian  ! 

"You  very  kindly,  my  dear  Mrs.  J.,  express  an  interest  in  my 
health,  and  ask  my  physician's  opinion  concerning  it.  I  do  not 
think  he  has,  for  a  long  time,  entertained  any  expectation  of  my  re- 
covery;  and  when  he  discovered  that  the  experiment  of  quietude 
had  proved  unproductive  of  benefit,  he  assured  me  that  every  exer- 
tion of  skill  had  been  made  in  vain,  and  my  case  must  now  be  left, 
to  nature — he  had  better  have  said  in  the  hands  of  God.  He  says 
that  it  is  nut  impossible  that  I  may  live  a  long  time  yet.  It  is  my 
desire  to  have  no  will  at  all  on  this  subject,  but  to  be  ever  enabled 
to  say, — 

'  Come,  then,  affliction,  if  my  Father  bids,  and  be  my  frowning  friend, 
A  friend  tliat  frowns  is  better  than  a  smiling  enemy.' 

0* 


102  LETTERS.  [1834. 

"  My  strength  is  increased,  but  I  have  more  pain  than  when  con- 
fined to  my  bed.  I  was  truly  thankful  to  'enter  the  gates  of  the 
Lord  with  thanksgiving,  and  His  courts  with  praise,'  but,  oh,  how 
very  cold  is  my  thanksgiving;  how  faint  my  praise  in  comparison 
with  the  mercy  which  has  been  extended  towards  me  !  Oh,  pray 
for  me,  that  I  may  be  enabled  to  praise  the  Lord  as  I  ought,  and  to 
love  him  as  I  would,  for  it  is  in  love  that  I  am,  of  all  things,  most 
deficient.  There  is  very  little  in  my  heart,  and  though  the  convic- 
tion of  the  truth  often  very  much  discourages  me,  still  I  hope  and 
believe  that  the  Sun  of  Righteousness  will,  in  His  own  good  time, 
rise  with  healing  in  His  wings,  and  illuminate  the  innermost  recesses 
of  my  soul.  Oh,  I  long  for  a  simple  faith.  I  long  to  trust  and  love 
my  Redeemer  as  I  ought.  It  gives  me  much  pleasure  to  know  that 
I  have  your  prayers  for  my  spiritual  welfare.  Oh,  let  them  be  very 
earnest,  for  I  need  them." 

To  Miss  E.  N. 

June  29,  1834. 

"  I  wish,  dear  E.,  thee  were  here  to  share  with  me  the  solitude 
of  my  chamber  to-day.  It  is  not  often  that  I  desire  society  on  the 
Sabbath,  but  I  trust  that  you  would  'remember  to  keep  it  holy.' 
There  is  scarcely  any  duty  which  more  imperatively  urges  itself  upon 
my  conscience  than  that  of  keeping  sacred  this  day  —  *  the  best,  the 
dearest  of  the  seven ;  emblem  and  harbinger  of  heaven.'  The  in- 
junction contained  in  the  58th  chap,  and  13th  verse  of  Isaiah,  has 
made  a  strong  impression  on  my  mind.  I  always  find  that  the  in- 
fluence of  the  Sabbath  extends  itself  throughout  the  week.  To-day 
the  weather  detains  me  from  the  sanctuary ;  but  I  rejoice  that  the 
Lord  is  ever  ready  to  send  *  help  from  the  sanctuary,  and  to  strengthen 
me  out  of  Zion,'  and  I  trust  He  will  aid  me  with  the  influences  of 
His  Spirit  to  speak  to  thee,  my  dear  friend,  of  those  things  that  con- 
cern our  peace. 

"  The  Lord  has  been  very  merciful  to  thee,  in  having  thus 
awakened  thee  from  the  lethargy  which  has  hitherto  benumbed  thy 
spiritual  faculties ;  and  does  thee  think  that,  after  having  made  thee 
sensible  of  thy  danger,  He  will  leave  thee  unprovided  with  the  means 
of  escape  ?  No  !  my  friend  :  fly  to  the  Refuge,  to  the  Rock  of  our 
salvation,  and  thee  need  not  fear,  for  *  God  is  our  refuge  and  strength, 
a  very  present  help  in  time  of  trouble.'  I  do  most  deeply  sympa- 
thize with  thy  doubts  and  fears.  I  have  known  them  all,  to  a  very 
great  extent,  but  now;  though  I  feel,  much  more  sensibly  than  then, 


1834.]  LETTERS.  103 

my  utter  helplessness  and  depravity,  my  trust  is  in  Jesus,  and  I 
know  that  in  Him  is  my  'wisdom,  and  righteousness,  and  sanctifica- 
tion  and  redemption.' 

"■  I  am  not  at  all  astonished  at  thy  reluctance  to  speak  freely  on 
this  all-important  subject.  I  have  suffered  much  from  it,  and  have 
often  thought  that  this  timidity  was  nothing  more  or  less  than  a 
temptation  of  our  great  adversary,  to  prevent  me  from  receiving 
counsel  and  encouragement  that  might  have  blessed  my  soul.  I  do 
not  think  that  personal  experience  should  be  the  constant  topic  of 
conversation ;  it  is  at  the  throne  of  grace  we  can  best  unburthen 
our  feelings ;  but  I  think  it  is  according  to  our  Heavenly  Father's 
will  that  '  they  who  fear  the  Lord  should  speak  often  to  one 
another,'  and  it  is  not  only  a  privilege,  but  a  duty,  to  ask  and 
receive  Christian  counsel.  I  know  that  it  has  been  blessed  to 
me.  Pray  for  me,  dear  E.,  that,  while  in  the  strength  of  the  Lord 
I  would  encourage  thee  to  'follow  on  to  know  the  Lord,'  my  own 
heart  may  be  filled  with  faith  and  humility.  I  am  myself  very, 
very  young  in  spiritual  attainments,  and  we  will  pursue  our  path 
together. 

"Do  not  wait,  dear  E.,  until  thee  finds  thee  loves  to  pray,  to  sup- 
plicate for  pardon  and  for  peace,  but  try  to  have  regular  seasons  for 
devotion ;  and  at  other  times,  too,  present  thyself  just  as  thee  is 
before  the  Lord.  He  knows  the  thoughts  and  intents  of  thy  heart, 
and  He  will  most  assuredly  lift  up  the  light  of  His  countenance 
upon  thee.  This  promise  has  often  comforted  me — 'Who  is  among 
you  that  feareth  the  Lord,  that  obeyeth  the  voice  of  his  servant,  that 
walketh  in  darkness,  and  hath  no  light  ?  let  him  trust  in  the  name 
of  the  Lord,  and  stay  upon  his  God.'  I  am  glad  thee  has  Clarke's 
Scripture  Promises.     Is  it  not  a  sweet  book  ? 

"  I  do  so  much  enjoy  the  beauties  of  nature.  Our  Heavenly 
Father  has  provided  us  with  so  many  sources  of  enjoyment,  that  if 
our  hearts  were  in  the  state  they  ought  to  be,  they  would  be  always 
filled  with  thanksgiving. 

'  The  hill  of  Zion  yields 

A  thousand  sacred  sweets, 
Before  we  reach  the  heavenly  fields, 
Or  walk  the  golden  streets.' 

"Let  us  ever  fervently  pray  for  the  blessing  of  a  grateful 
heart."     *     *     * 


104  LETTERS.  [1834. 

To  her  Sister  IS. 

July  Ist,  1834. 
''I  sliould  be  delighted  to  liave  you  with  me,  my  beloved  sister,  to 
enjoy  tbif.  lovely  morning.  The  foliage  looks  as  fresh  and  beautiful 
as  though  it  had  just  started  into  life ;  the  air  is  rendered  still  more 
balmy  by  the  fragrance  of  the  new-mown  grass ;  the  birds  seem 
striving  to  excel  each  other  in  the  production  of  harmonious  sounds ; 
and  the  scene  is  enlivened  by  the  bright  beams  of  the  king  cf  day, 
who  seems  as  though  he  were,  indeed,  '  rejoicing  in  the  East.'  I 
lonor  to  unite  in  this  universal  concert,  and  to  make  '  melody  in  my 
heart  to  the  Lord  ;'  but  like  the  dark  cloud  that  I  see  advancing  to  cast 
its  gloomy  reflection  o'er  this  lovely  scene,  are  the  unsanctified  imagi- 
nations and  feelings  that  too  often  disturb  the  serenity  of  my  soul, 
and  keep  it  out  of  tune;  but  as  there  is  a  better  country  on  which 
the  Sun  of  Kighteousness  is  ever  shining,  it  is  a  blessed  hope  that, 
through  the  merits  of  my  Redeemer,  I  shall  there  forever  dwell. 

'There  sin  shall  never  more  annoy, 

Tears  shall  bo  chased  by  smiles  of  joy, 
Prayer  end  in  praise,  hope  in  delight, 
And  faith  be  changed  to  perfect  sight.' 

"  I  have  thought  much  of  you,  my  dear  sister,  since  wc  have  been 
separated,  and  my  thoughts  have  been  of  a  very  kindly  nature.  It 
gives  me  great  pleasure  to  know,  too,  that,  '  with  all  my  faults,  you 
love  me  still.'  Shall  not  our  affection,  my  friend  and  sister,  be 
strengthened  by  faith's  enduring  ties  ?  Equally  needy,  equally  un- 
deserving, shall  we  not  for  each  other  petition  the  Throne  of  Grace, 
and  surely  our  Father  in  Heaven,  who  is  ever  ready  to  bestow  good 
gifts  upon  His  children,  will  grant  us  more  and  better  than  we  ask. 
He  is  truly  a  God  of  mercy  and  of  love,  and  it  is  a  mournful  thing 
that  our  hearts  are  not  more  sensible  of  this  truth.  But  then  '  God, 
who  commanded  the  light  to  shine  out  of  darkness,  hath  shined  in 
our  hearts  to  give  the  light  of  the  knowledge  of  the  glory  of  God  in 
the  face  of  Jesus  Christ.'  Oh,  let  the  inmost  recesses  of  our  souls 
be  thrown  open  to  this  heavenly  radiance;  let  not  unbelief  keep 
closed  a  single  avenue.  I  do  not  say  these  things  as  a  matter  of 
course,  dear  sister;  it  is  not  to  assume  the  character  of  superior 
sanctity.  I  do  really  feel  them  far  more  powerfully  than  I  can  ex- 
press; and  when  the  enemy  of  my  soul  would  tempt  mo  to  question 
the  genuineness  of  these  feelings,  I  can  look  up  to  the  Searcher  of 
hearts,  and  say  with  perfect  confidence,  'Oh  Lord,  Thou  knoivest  that 


1834.]  DISTASTE    FOR   WORLDLY   CONVERSATION.  105 

I  am  sincere.'  It  is  my  earnest  prayer,  '  Search  me,  oh  God,  and 
know  my  heart;  try  me,  and  know  my  thoughts,  and  see  if  there  be 
any  wicked  way  in  me,  and  lead  me  in  the  way  everlasting ;'  and 
though  I  am  conscious  of  inconsistency  of  conduct,  and  still  greater 
inconsistency  of  feeling,  I  dare  not  doubt  that  He  who  has  begun 
and  carried  on  the  work  of  grace  in  my  heart,  will  perfect  that 
which  concerneth  me.  For  me  is  the  promise,  '  Blessed  are  they 
who  hunger  and  thirst  after  righteousness,  for  they  shall  be  filled.' 

"And  is  it  not  for  you  also,  dear  sister,  and  will  you  not  accept  its 
fulfilment?  '  God  is  not  willing  that  avi/  should  perish,  but  that  all 
should  have  everlasting  life.'  Oh,  then,  in  the  name  of  my  Re- 
deemer, I  do  implore  you  to  yield  your  heart  to  the  influences  of 
the  Holy  Spirit.  I  would  not  that  you  should  be  like  me,  weak  in 
faith,  cold  in  love,  ungrateful  and  rebellious ;  but  it  would  rejoice 
my  heart  to  see  you  far  outstrip  me  in  the  heavenly  race,  and  I 
would  ask  strength  from  above  to  animate  my  tardy  footsteps,  that  I 
might  overtake  you,  and  that  we  might  together  press  towards  the 
mark.  You  have  no  cause  for  discouragement.  Again  and  again 
you  have  been  almost  j^crsuaded,  and  you  can  never  be  better  pre- 
pared than  at  this  moment. 

"  Oh !  then,  dearest  sister,  accept  the  invitation  of  Him  who  has 
said,  '  Come  unto  me,  all  ye  that  are  weary  and  heavy-laden,  and  I 
will  give  you  rest.'  " 

^'■July  IQth. — I  am  very  far  from  well  this  morning,  and 
my  mind  remarkably  empty  of  good  thoughts.  When  shall 
every  thought  be  brought  into  captivity  ?  I  shall  never  be 
satisfied,  till  that  time  arrives.  It  is  very  unprofitable  and 
disagreeable  to  engage  in  worldly  conversation,  and  especially 
on  the  afiairs  of  other  people.  I  have  so  great  a  distaste  to 
this  kind  of  conversation,  that  I  know  I  sometimes  appear 
rude,  for  I  endeavor  to  keep  my  mind  as  much  abstracted 
from  the  subject  as  possible.  I  would  love  to  be  surrounded 
by  an  atmosphere  of  piety,  the  society  of  devoted  Christians, 
and  yet  I  am  not  fit  for  it,  I  fear,  for  I  have  so  many  vain 
thoughts.  I  have  received  a  great  many  sweet  letters.  How 
thankful  I  feel  for  them  ! 

"  Thursday  was  not  profitably  spent  —  weak  in  body  — 


106  MORTALITY.  [1834. 

weaker  in  faith.     Thursday  morning  the  same  —  evening  in 
mental  idleness. 

"  This  is  quite  a  serious  time.  Sickness  and  death  all 
around  us.  May  the  solemn  warning  be  sanctified  to  many 
souls.  May  multitudes  be  converted  to  the  Lord.  There 
seem  to  be  so  few  here  who  are  alive  to  their  immortal  in- 
terests. I  know  not  but  I  may  be  the  next ;  if  so,  I  would 
with  humility  express  my  confidence,  that  'if  the  earthly 
house  of  this  tabernacle  be  dissolved,  I  have  a  building  of 
God,  a  house  not  made  with  hands,  eternal  in  the  heavens.' 
I  can  freely  trust  myself,  and  all  that  concerns  me,  to  the 
care  of  my  Father  in  heaven. 

i'28th.  —  To-morrow,  if  I  live,  will  be  my  birth-day.  I 
desire  to  devote  it  especially  to  the  Lord.  Hitherto  hath  the 
Lord  helped  me,  and  the  wing  of  his  protection  has  been 
more  manifestly  extended  over  me  during  the  last  twelve 
months.  Severe  and  continued  bodily  sufi'ering  has  been  my 
portion.  I  think  that  during  this  time  I  have  not  known  one 
waking  hour  of  exemption  from  pain,  —  perhaps  not  many 
moments.  I  have  endured  many  privations,  and  have  been 
kept  from  the  sanctuary  much  more  frequently  than  has  been 
agreeable  to  my  inclinations, — but  what  goodness  and  mercy 
have  followed  me  all  this  year !  The  Lord  has  strengthened 
me  on  my  bed  of  languishing."^ 

To  the  same. 

"Aug.  1,  1834. 
"  Many  tears  were  caused  to  flow  by  the  perusal  of  your  letter, 
my  beloved  Sister,  produced  by  mingled  emotions  of  gratitude  to 
our  Heavenly  Father,  and  love  and  sympathy  for  you.  Yours  is  a 
'  godly  sorrow  that  worketh  repentance  not  to  be  repented  of/  and 
it  is  my  firm  belief  that  the  '  God  of  peace  shall  bruise  Satan  under 
your  feet  shortly,'  and  that  He  will  fill  you  with  'joy  and  peace  in 
believing.'  You  have  been  made  to  '  hunger  and  thirst  after  right- 
eousness,' and  you  *  sliall  he  filled.'  Oh,  how  full  is  my  heart  of 
love  for  you !  How  earnestly  have  I  prayed  this  day  that  God  will 
perfect  the  work  He  has  begun,  and  continued  in  your  heart,  and 


1834.]  LETTER    TO    A    SISTER.  107 

that  He  -will  give  you  that  faith  that  '  overcometh  the  world  !'  How 
entirely  can  I  sympathize  with  the  feelings  and  the  ivant  of  feeling 
you  express  !  To  one  unawakened  by  Divine  influence  they  would 
be  altogether  unintelligible,  but  I  have  known  them  all,  mourned 
them  all.  I  know  whence  they  come,  and  whither  they  will  lead 
you.  I  fully  comprehend  the  diflSculties  that  beset  you  in  your  path, 
and  which  are  in  a  greater  or  less  degree  experienced  by  every  one 
whose  attention  has  been  forcibly  arrested  by  this  important  subject. 
It  is  a  mysterious  thing  that  we  are  commanded  to  '  work  out  our 
own  salvation  with  fear  and  trembling,'  and  yet  'it  is  God  that 
worketh  in  us  both  to  will  and  to  do  of  His  own  good  pleasure.'  The 
Spirit  alone  can  reveal  these  things  to  us ;  and  it  is  a  blessed  truth, 
that  '  whosoever  will,  can  take  of  the  water  of  life  freely.'  Thousands 
and  tens  of  thousands  have  been  'more  than  conquerors  through 
Him  that  loved  them,'  and  why,  my  dear  Sister,  should  not  you  be 
brought  into  the  glorious  liberty  of  the  children  of  God  ?  Is  your 
heart  more  cold,  your  sins  more  aggravated,  than  those  of  any  other 
created  being,  that  God  should  regard  you  with  less  favor,  and  be 
unwilling  to  give  you  the  same  blessings?  Oh  !  'be  not  faithless, 
but  believing,'  and  you  shall  be  filled  with  '  the  peace  of  God  which 
passeth  understanding.'  Your  face  is  turned  Zionward,  and  you 
have  only  to  'go  from  strength  to  strength.' 

*  *  *  a  J  ^ag  much  surprised  and  affected  by  the  expression 
of  your  opinion  of  the  consistency  of  my  conduct,  and  though  it 
seems  strange  to  me  that  you  should  have  formed  such  an  estimate 
of  my  character,  it  is  indeed  a  very  great  encouragement ;  and  if  the 
strength  my  Heavenly  Father  has  given  me  to  fight  against  the  cor- 
ruption of  my  nature,  and  to  endure  physical  suffering,  be  an  added 
inducement  to  ?/o?(  to  rely  upon  His  love  and  mercy,  I  have  tenfold 
cause  to  praise  and  bless  His  holy  name.  Were  I  the  most  exem- 
plary saint  and  martyr  who  has  ever  glorified  God  on  earth,  the 
praise  and  power  would  belong  to  Him  alone,  for,  '  not  by  works  of 
righteousness  which  we  have  done,  but  according  to  His  mercy  He 
saved  us,'  and  I  know  that  you  are  too  sensible  of  this  truth  to  wish 
to  praise  or  to  flatter  me.  I  do  most  deeply  feel  that  I  have  not,  as 
I  ought,  discharged  my  high  responsibilities,  and  that  it  is  only  be- 
cause 'God  is  merciful  and  gracious,  slow  to  anger  and  plenteous  in 
mercy,'  that  He  continues  to  me  the  blesisings  of  His  grace.  It  is 
my  daily  and  my  fervent  prayer  that  I  may  be  preserved  from  self- 
righteousness  or  self-dependence  in  the  smallest  degree,  for  I  am 
very  prone  to  it ;  and  it  is  necessary  for  me  ever  to  bear  in  remera- 


3.08  DR.  bedell's  death.  [1834. 

brance  the  solemn  injunction,  'Let  him  that  thinketh  he  standeth, 
take  heed  lest  he  fall.'  It  requires,  indeed,  the  arm  of  Omnipotence 
to  preserve  us  from  the  innumerable  evils  that  compass  us  about, 
and  I  rejoice  that  that  arm  is  'mighty  to  save,  and  strong  to  deliver.' 
I  would  ever  remember  that  '  who  in  the  strength  of  Jesus  trusts  is 
more  than  conqueror.'  '  My  heart  and  my  flesh  faileth,  but  God  is 
the  strength  of  my  heart.'  I  believe,  dear  Sister,  that  '  He  will 
guide  us  both  with  His  counsel,  and  afterwards  receive  us  to 
glory.'  Oh,  let  us  not  dishonor  Him  by  refusing  to  trust  His  love. 
'  He  that  spared  not  his  own  Son,  but  delivered  Him  up  for  us  all; 
how  shall  He  not  with  Him  also  freely  give  us  all  things?' 

*  *  *  "  Such  letters  as  yours  I  consider  strictly  confidential. 
I  have  read  it  several  times  with  deep  interest,  and  see  there  the 
blossoming  of  '  a  tree  planted  by  the  rivers  of  water,  that  will  bring 
forth  its  fruit  in  due  season,  its  leaf  also  shall  not  wither,'  but  shall 
continue  to  flourish  to  all  eternity.  Only,  my  dear  Sister,  '  follow 
on  to  know  the  Lord.'  Look  from  your  heart  to  Jesus,  and  He  will 
make  '  darkness  light  before  you,  and  crooked  things  straight ;  these 
things  will  He  do  unto  you,  and  not  forsake  you.'  " 

^^Sept.  9th.  —  More  than  two  weeks  have  elapsed  since  I 
wrote  in  this  diary.  I  do  not  wish  to  be  again  so  negligent, 
as  I  think  it  profitable  to  keep  it.  With  delight  I  anticipated 
the  services  of  the  Sabbath,  and  as  our  own  church  was  closed, 
I  attended  Christ  church  in  the  morning.  I  very  much  en- 
joyed the  service,  which  was  read  by  Mr.  James,  in  his  usual 
solemn  and  devotional  manner.  The  sermon  was  from  our 
venerable  Bishop.  Little  did  1  think  I  was  so  soon  to  sus- 
tain so  great  an  affliction.  I  hastened  into  E.'s  room,  on  my 
return,  and  was  there  informed  of  the  death  of  my  beloved 
Pastor.  It  agitates  me  to  think  of  the  shock  I  experienced. 
I  did  not  indulge  one  murmuring  thought,  I  could  not  even 
dare  to  wish  that  his  life  had  been  one  hour  prolonged.  But 
when  I  recalled  his  affectionate  admonitions,  and  solemn 
warnings,  it  was  a  painful  reflection  that  they  were  silenced 
forever.  I  am,  however,  comforted  by  the  conviction  that 
he  being  dead,  zvill  yet  speak,  and  that  his  prayers  for  his 
beloved  flock  will  be  yet  answered  abundantly,  that  his  death 


1834.]        BISHOP  M gore's   discourse.  109 

■will  be  sanctified  to  us,  and  that  the  bond  of  Christian  love 
will  become  stronger  and  stronger.  I  was  privileged  to 
attend  his  funeral,  to  behold  his  lifeless  remains.  I  renewed, 
again  and  agnin,  my  resolution  to  consecrate  all  that  I  am 
and  have  to  the  Lord,  and  to  go  on  in  the  strength  of  the 
Lord,  making  mention  of  His  righteousness,  even  of  His  only. 
Oh,  may  I  feel  the  necessity  of  living  near  to  God,  and  may 
I  renounce  any  and  every  thing,  however  attractive,  however 
beloved,  that  may  have  a  possible  tendency  to  bring  my  soul 
into  the  bondage  of  Satan,  and  may  I  most  especially  be  pre- 
served from  self-dependence  and  from  spiritual  pride.  Last 
Saturday  I  Avas  enabled  to  attend  our  prayer-meeting,  and 
did  not  go  away  without  a  blessing.  I  never  felt  so  forcibly 
the  attraction  of  Christian  love,  —  my  heart  was  full  of  it. 
On  Sunday  we  had  a  most  impressive  discourse  from  Bishop 
Moore,  on  the  text,  '  Whom  have  I  in  heaven  but  Thee,  and 
there  is  none  upon  earth  that  I  desire  besides  Thee.'  It  was 
a  day  which  will  long  be  remembered  by  our  sorrowful  but 
rejoicing  flock.  I  doubt  not  that  precious  seed,  sown  in  the 
heart  of  many  a  stranger,  will  spring  up  and  bear  abundant 
fruit.  Surely  the  death  of  our  Pastor  Avill  be  sanctified  to  us 
all.  The  Great  Shepherd  will  take  us  under  His  especial 
keeping,  and  will  supply  us  with  a  teacher  after  His  own 
heart. 

'^Scpt.  21st.  —  I  awoke  this  m.orning  in  a  prayerful  and 
watchful  state,  and  I  trust  that  my  morning  devotions  were 
blessed.  I  very  much  regret  that  I  talked  about  things  that 
were  not  entirely  spiritual,  as  I  went  to  church.  I  often  do 
this,  and  yet  I  feel  that  it  is  very  wrong.  I  was  very  much 
afi"ected  in  church.  When  I  saw  the  immense  crowd  who 
had  assembled  to  hear  the  funeral  sermon  for  our  departed 
Pastor,  I  prayed  earnestly  that  the  renewing  and  refreshing 
influences  of  the  Spirit  might  be  abundantly  showered  upon 
us,  and  my  heart  was  drawn  out  in  love  for  the  souls  of  my 
dear  family  and  friends,  there  assembled,  who  have  not  yet 

10 


110  FUNERAL    SERMON.  [1834. 

experienced  'the  peace  which  from  repentance  flows,'  and  I 
felt  as  if  I  could  take  my  dear  sister,  who  sat  beside  me,  in 
my  arms,  and  offer  her  to  Jesus.  Oh,  how  awful  was  the 
thought  that  all  that  vast  assembly  must  stand  together  at  the 
judgment-seat  of  Christ ! 

"  Dr.  Tyng  addressed  us  from  Hebrews  xiii.  7,  8  :  — 'Re- 
member them  that  have  the  rule  over  you,  whose  faith  follow, 
considering  the  end  of  their  conversation,  Jesus  Christ,  the 
same  yesterday,  to-day  and  forever.'  lie  read  us  a  letter 
from  Dr.  Henshaw,  giving  an  account  of  the. last  hours  of 
our  Rector,  whi^h  was  full  of  interest.  The  child-like  faithj 
glowing  love,  and  perfect  peace  of  his  departing  moments 
were  the  blessing  of  the  Lord  upon  his  well-spent  life.  Oh, 
surely  this  dispensation  will  be  deeply  and  permanently 
sanctified. 

"  On  Friday,  which  was  kept  as  a  day  of  fasting  and 
prayer  in  our  church,  we  had  service  three  times,  and  though 
I  was  depressed  by  coldness  and  wandering  thoughts,  I  found 
it  good  to  be  there.  I  was  most  profited,  I  think,  in  the 
morning ;  felt  all  day  a  sincere  desire  to  wait  on  the  Lord, 
but  wandering  thoughts  are  the  root  of  bitterness  which  ever 
troubles  me.     ' 

^^  5th,  —  Sunday/  evening.  —  This  has  been  a  solemn  day. 
I  have  enjoyed  the  privilege  of  communing,  after  having 
been  for  several  months  deprived  of  it.  I  greatly  desired  to 
spend  the  preceding  week  in  preparation  for  it,  and  worthily 
to  partake  of  so  solemn  an  ordinance.  I  was  favored  this 
morning  with  a  prayerful  spirit.  Oh,  how  sensibly  do  I  feel 
the  loss  of  our  beloved  Pastor,  from  whose  hands  I  have 
always  before  received  the  sacred  emblems  of  my  Saviour's 
broken  body  !  I  rejoiced  that  the  Great  Shepherd  was  with 
us  to  bless  us.  I  felt  no  fear  in  approaching  the  table,  for  I 
have  every  reason  to  believe  that  lie  who  has  hitherto  helped 
me,  will  be  with  me  to  the  end.  Oh,  that  I  may  be  preserved 
from  self-dependence ! 


1834.]  DREAD     OF     SELF-CONFIDENCE.  Ill 

"  I  do  pray  tliat  I  may  be  shown  as  mucli  of  the  plague  of 
ray  own  heart  as  may  suffice  to  make  me  humble,  and  to 
eifcct  this,  a  very  intimate  knowledge  of  it  is  requisite,  for  I 
am  very  prone  to  secret  feelings  of  self-confidence.  Oh,  how 
must  self-approval  and  self-love  appear  in  the  sight  of  a  holy 
God  !  May  I  every  day  increase  in  humility,  and  feeling 
that  in  myself  I  can  do  nothing,  find  in  Jesus  my  all  in  all. 
Very  often  do  I  offer  the  petition,  '  Teach  me  good  judgment 
and  knowledge.'  I  am  particularly  desirous  to  be  preserved 
from  a  speculative  or  a  cavilling  spirit.  So  that  I  be  enabled 
to  understand  and  to  adorn  the  doctrine  of  God  my  Saviour, 
it  concerns  toe  little  to  pry  into  things  too  high  for  me. 
Rather  let  me  be  endued  with  the  teachableness  and  gentle- 
ness of  a  little  child,  and  sit  at  the  feet  of  Jesus,  and  learn 
the  truth  as  it  is  in.  Ilim.  I  feel  that  I  must  pray  more, — 
I  am  too  cold  and  infrequent  in  this  duty.  I  know  that  the 
Gospel  offers  far  higher  privileges  and  attainments  than  I 
enjoy,  and  why  do  I  not  possess  them  ?  Because  I  do  not 
prize  them  as  I  ought.  Because  I  do  not  press  towards  the 
mark.  I  Avant  more  faith,  more  love,  more  of  every  Christian 
grace,  more  of  a  spirit  of  self-renunciation.  It  is  necessary 
to  be  very  attentive  to  the  influences  of  the  Spirit,  and  to 
cherish  every  heavenly  impulse,  instantly  to  give  up  anything 
that  in  the  smallest  degree  excites  the  reproof  of  conscience, 
and  not  like  Parley  the  Porter,  to  trifle  with  temptation." 

To  a   Cousin. 

Oct.  8,  1834. 
*  *  *  *  "The  promise  —  'a  bruised  reed  shall  lie  not 
break,  and  smokinj^-  flax  shall  He  not  quench/  has  often  consoled 
nie,  when  a  sense  of  my  unworthiness  has  induced  me  to  doubt  of 
the  loving-kindness  of  my  Heavenly  Father.  If  we  could  only  rea- 
lize that  all  these  evil  actings  of  unbelief  are  the  suggestions  of  the 
enemy  of  our  souls,  and  not  the  evidence  of  humility,  as  we  would 
believe,  it  v»-oukl,  indeed,  be  well  for  us.  Plow  often  has  the  passage 
—  '  He  did  not  many  works  there  because  of  their  unbelief,'  occurred 
to  my  mind  as  a  solemn  warning  !    Let  us  every  day,  and  every  hour, 


112  DR.    bedell's    last   moments.      [1834. 

pray  for  simple  faith  in  Jesus,  since  '  there  is  no  other  name  given 
under  heaven  whereby  we  must  be  saved.'  We  can  never  obtain 
righteousness,  wisdom,  sanctification  and  redemption  of  our  own, 
but  Christ  is  made  all  of  these  to  us,  if  we  will  accept  His  oflfcrs  of 
'  grace  to  help  in  time  of  need/ 

"It  was  faith  in  Jesus  that  enabled  our  dear  departed  Pastor  to 
lead  a  holy  life,  and  to  die  a  glorious  death.  I  should  like  thee  to 
read  the  account  of  his  last  moments,  which  has  been  published. 
After  his  arrival  in  Baltimore,  Dr.  Henshaw  called  on  him,  and  on 
asking  him  if  he  enjoyed  peace  of  mind,  he  replied,  "Yes  !  my  only 
hope  is  in  Jesus,  the  Saviour  of  sinners.  I  am  very  comfortable : 
all  is  peace.'  At  another  time,  Dr.  H.  repeated  the  first  lines  of 
'Jesus,  Saviour  of  my  soul,  let  me  to  Thy  bosom  fly,'  and  he  imme- 
diately said,  with  much  feeling,  '1  will,  I  do.'  A  short  time  before 
his  death,  lifting  his  finger  with  great  solemnity,  as  he  often  did 
in  the  pulpit,  when  about  to  utter  any  thing  emphatically  important, 
he  said,  with  a  feeble  and  quivering,  but  yet  distinct  and  articulate 
enunciation  — '  Hear  me  !  I  acknowledge  myself  to  have  been  a 
most  unprofitable  servant,  unprofitable,  but  not  hypocritical.  I  find 
myself  to  have  been  full  of  sin,  ignorance,  weakness,  unfaithfulness 
and  guilt,  but  Jesus  is  my  Iwpe:  washed  in  His  blood,  justified  by 
His  righteousness,  sanctified  by  His  grace,  I  have  peace  with  God. 
Jesus  is  very  precious  to  my  soul ;  my  all  in  all ;  and  I  expect  to 
be  saved  by  free  grace,  through  his  atoning  blood.  This  is  my  tes- 
timony,' with  emphasis,  '  this  is  my  testimony.' 

"And  is  not  this,  dear  cousin,  a  glorious  testimony?  It  is  worth 
to  me  more  than  words  can  describe.  I  feel  that  Jesus  is  also  my 
hope,  and  I  desire  that  He  shall  be  ^my  all  in  all,  my  soul-satisfying 
portion." 

To  a  Sister. 

Oct.  2,  1834. 
*  *  *  #  a  J  think  I  feel  every  day  more  emphatically  the 
entire  necessity  and  expediency  of  an  unreserved  surrender  of  our 
hearts  to  Him  who  has  commanded  that  we  should  consecrate  our- 
selves to  Him  'a  holy  and  acceptable  sacrifice,'  which  is  indeed,  'a 
reasonable  service,'  and  one  that  is  alone  acceptable  in  the  sight  of 
a  jealous  God,  who  will  never  give  His  glory  to  another.  And  when 
we  consider  that  it  is  only  when  every  thought  is  brought  '  into  cap- 
tivity to  the  obedience  of  Christ,'  that  '  the  peace  of  Gnd  which 
passeth  all  understanding'  can  be  received  in  its  fullest  extent,  and 


1834.]  LETTER    TO    A    SISTER.  113 

that  every  other  source  of  cnjoj'ment  is  but  as  a  'broken  cistern/ 
how  incomprehensible  is  the  backwardness  we  feel  to  avail  ourselves 
of  the  privileges  of  the  gospel !  There  is  no  greater  subject  of  asto- 
nishment to  me  than  my  own  heart :  that  I  should  not  with  more 
diligence  '  press  towards  the  mark  /  that  I  should  not  look  with  a 
more  steady  eye  unto  '  Jesus,  the  Author  and  Finisher  of  our  faith/ 
is  another  sad  proof  of  my  innate  depravity.  Truly  can  I  adopt  the 
language  of  Baxter,  when  he  says,  '  The  little  tastes  of  this  sweet- 
ness which  my  thirsty  soul  hath  had  do  tell  me  that  there  is  no 
other  real  joy.  I  feel  that  Thou  hast  made  my  mind  to  know  Thee, 
my  heart  to  love  Thee,  my  tongue  to  praise  Thee,  and  all  that  I 
have  and  am  to  serve  Thee. 

"  'Upon  the  holy  altar  erected  by  Thy  Son,  and  by  His  hands, 
and  His  mediation,  I  humbly,  devote  and  offer  to  Thee  this  heart. 
Oh  !  that  I  could  say  with  greater  feeling,  this  flaming,  loving,  long- 
ing heart.  But  the  sacred  fire  which  must  kindle  on  my  sacrifice 
must  come  from  Thee.  It  will  not  else  ascend  unto  Thee.  Let  it 
consume  this  dross,  so  that  the  nobler  part  may  know  its  home.  All 
that  I  can  say  to  commend  it  to  Thine  acceptance  is,  that  I  hope  it 
is  washed  in  precious  blood,  and  that  there  is  something  in  it  that 
is  Thine  own.  It  still  looketh  toward  Thee,  and  groaneth  to  Thee, 
and  followeth  after  Thee,  and  will  be  content  with  gold,  and  mirth, 
and  honor,  and  such  inferior  fooleries,  no  more.  It  lietli  at  Thy 
door,  and  will  be  entertained  or  perish.  Though,  alas,  it  loves  Thee 
not  as  it  would,  I  boldly  say  it  hngs  to  love  Thee.  It  seeks,  it 
craves  no  greater  blessing  than  perfect,  endless,  mutual  love.' 

"  Oh  !  my  beloved  Sister,  let  us  endeavor,  in  the  strength  of 
Jesus,  to  'perfect  holiness  in  the  fear  of  the  Lord;'  let  us  'lay 
aside  every  weight,  and  the  sin  that  doth  so  easily  beset  us;'  let 
the  pomps  and  vanities  of  this  wicked  world,  that  we  have  so  so- 
lemnly promised  to  renounce,  be  no  longer  permitted  to  ensnare  us ; 
let  us  not  be  perjured  in  the  sight  of  God  and  men,  as  we  must  be 
if  we  fail  to  keep  our  covenant  with  the  Lord.  He  will  surely  keep 
us  from  falling,  and  lead  us  in  the  way  everlasting,  the  pathway  of 
holiness,  if  we  will  only  trust  in  Him.  Oh,  how  I  long  to  love  that 
dear  Saviour  who  gave  Himself  for  us!  lie  will  enable  us  to  love 
Him.  He  is,  and  ever  will  be,  our  righteousness,  sanctification, 
wisdom  and  redemption,  and  he  will  never  leave  nor  forsake  us. 

"  I  trust  that  the  dispensation  that  has  removed  froni  us  the 
earthly  shcplierd,  who  dealt  so  very  gently  with  us,  will  be  one  of 
mercy  to  our  souls.     He  who  '  came  to  seek  and  to  save  that  which 

n  10  ^i^ 


114  SABBATH     MUSINGS.  [1834. 

was  lost,'  will  not  suffer  us  to  stray  from  the  fold,  if  we  will  humbly 
place  ourselves  under  His  keeping.  The  admonitions  of  our  beloved 
Pastor  will  be  deeply  engraven  on  our  hearts,  and  I  trust  we  shall 
be  stars  in  his  crown  of  rejoicing.  Only,  let  us,  dear  sister,  pray 
fervently  and  constantly  that  our  hearts,  our  understandings,  our 
whole  being,  may  be  more  deeply  .impressed  with  a  conviction  of 
the  'beauty  of  holiness,'  and  'the  exceeding  sinfulness  of  sin.'  Let 
us  realize  how  litde  we  know  of  that  which  remains  to  be  learned, 
and  how  willing  and  able  is  the  Holy  Spirit  '  to  guide  us  into  all 
truth.'  Our  nature  is  so  depraved,  our  hearts  so  deceitful,  the 
temptations  of  the  world,  and  the  seductions  of  our  great  adversary 
so  powerful,  that  it  is  only  by  living  '  oerij  near  to  God  we  can  hope 
to  escape  them.'  " 

"  12th. — I  do  love  the  bright  Sabbath.  Everything  looks 
more  lovely  than  on  other  days.  I  enjoyed  very  much  my 
morning  devotions,  but  I  am  painfully  sensible  that  my 
thoughts  do  not  ascend  upward,  as  they  ought.  I  live  most 
deplorably  below  my  privileges,  and  yet  am  so  easily  satisfied 
with  present  attainments.  0  Lord,  Thy  grace  is  sufficient 
for  me,  and  Thou  art  willing  to  grant  it.  Let  me  not  doubt 
nor  reject  Thy  loving-kindness.  '  Cleanse  the  thoughts  of 
my  heart  by  the  inspiration  of  Thy  Spirit,  and  '  lead  me  in 
the  way  everlasting,'  for  Jesus'  sake.  "We  had  a  most  delightful 
sermon  this  morning,  on  the  text,  '  There  is  a  friend  that 
sticketh  closer  than  a  brother.'  I  prayed  with  sincerity  that 
the  sermon  might  be  spiritual,  and  might  be  blessed  to  the 
hearers  —  and  I  trust  it  was,  for  the  religion  of  Jesus  was 
represented  as  very  lovely  and  desirable.  I  love  to  hear 
preached,  'Jesus  Christ,  and  Ilim  crucified,'  May  I  never 
be  subjected  to  listen  to  a  sermon  in  which  the  merits  of  our 
Redeemer  are  not  set  forth.  Last  evening  I  w^nt  to  St. 
Paul's.  Four  children  were  baptized.  It  was  to  me  a  most 
solemn  and  affecting  service.  May  those  dear  children  be 
enabled  to  consecrate  themselves  to  the  Lord. 

"  This  evening  we  have  been  favored  with  a  very  solemn 
warning  from  Bishop  M'llvainc,  from  the  text,  '  Take  heed, 


1834.]  RELIGIOUS    SOUVENIR.  115 

therefore,  b]-ethren,  lest  there  be  in  any  of  you  an  evil  heart 
of  unbelief.'  He  described  the  evidences  of  declension  in  re- 
ligion, and  the  cause,  in  a  manner  so  emphatic,  and  repre- 
sented the  danger  we  are  in  so  clearly,  that  it  was  enough  to 
draw,  from  all  who  heard  him,  the  petition,  '  Good  Lord,  de- 
liver us.'  I  felt  the  danger,  and  I  trust  I  may  be  doubly 
watchful,  lest  I  enter  into  temptation  —  lest  I  be  lifted  up 
with  spiritual  pride,  or  disposed  to  sleep  in  the  midst  of  dan- 
ger. Lord,  any  thing,  rathe*'  than  a  diminution  of  interest 
in  Thee !  Any  desertion,  rather  than  that  of  thy  Holy 
Spirit ! 

"  I  have  had  a  present  of  the  Religious  Souvenir  for  next 
year.  With  what  painful  emotions  its  reception  impressed 
me  !  To  think  that  the  hand  which  penned  many  of  the  arti- 
cles it  contains  is  now  mouldering  in  the  dust ;  and  to  know 
that  many  prayers  had  been  offered  that  the  volume  might 
prove  a  blessing.  My  heart  was  very  full,  but  afterwards 
found  relief  in  tears.  This,  as  well  as  every  written  memo- 
rial of  the  love  and  piety  of  our  Pastor,  is  indeed  a  most  pre- 
cious legacy ;  and  I  trust  that  he  being  dead,  will  yet  speak 
to  my  heart,  and  the  hearts  of  multitudes  besides. 

'■'■Nov.  4:th. —  Oh,  I  must  have  more  religion.  I  cannot  be 
happy  without  it.  Oh,  even  if  there  were  no  heaven,  I  would 
long  for  a  knowledge  of  God  in  this  world.  '  Lord,  be  pleased 
to  lift  the  light  of  Thy  countenance  upon  me.' 

"  10th. — I  have  been  praying  that  the  Lord  Avill  make  me 
a  blessing  to  my  beloved  family.  I  feel  that  I  have  not  dis- 
charged my  duty  faithfully  towards .     I  hope  that  if  it 

be  His  will  to  restore  me  to  them,  that  I  may  be  more  con- 
sistent in  my  example,  and  more  faithful  in  advising  them, 
than  I  have  ever  been.  To  take  such  a  stand  as  this  requires 
a  very  holy  life,  and  lively  faith.  Give  them  to  mo,  Almighty 
Father,  for  Jesus'  sake,  I  pray  thee.  What  is  tliere  to  hin- 
der me  from  pressing  towards  the  mark  ? 

"  I  hope  that  more  of  the  spirit  of  prayer  will  be  vouch- 


116  AFFECTING    MEMORIES  [1834. 

safcd  mc  for  my  family,  and  especially  for  those  who  profess 
the  name  of  Christ.  Oh,  may  all  pride  and  sin  of  every  kind 
be  taken  from  my  heart,  so  that  I  may  be  made  a  blessing  to 
them,  and  that  others,  '  seeing  my  good  works,  may  glorify  my 
Father  which  is  in  Heaven.' 

"  Evening. — My  heart  is  very,  very  full  to-night.  I  under- 
took to  read  aloud  an  article  in  the  Religious  Souvenir,  writ- 
ten by  our  dear  Pastor,  and  thought  that  having  read  it 
before,  I  could  get  through  it  very  well;  but  so  forcibly  was 
his  image  presented  to  my  mind,  and  so  powerful  an  overflow 
of  love  did  I  feel  for  his  memory,  that  my  heart  felt  as  if  it 
would  burst,  and  I  was  glad  to  find  an  opportunity  to  give 
vent  to  my  feelings.  Oh,  my  dear,  dear  friend  and  father  in 
Christ  Jesus,  may  I  consider  thy  conversation,  and  follow  thy 
faith,  that  with  thee  I  may  unite  at  last  in  a  new  song  of 
praise  to  the  blessed  Redeemer,  whom  thou  hast  been  the 
means  of  inducing  me  to  trust  and  love.  May  I  never  forget 
thy  precepts,  and  thy  holy  example,  and  may  I  be  a  star  in 
thy  crown  of  rejoicing. 

"  13^A. — Yesterday  suffered  more  weakness  and  pain  than 
usual.  Felt  a  great  tenderness  of  spirit  at  my  twilight  devo- 
tions, and  a  desire  to  depend  upon  God  for  strength  to  en- 
dure the  suffering  He  has  been  pleased  to  send  me,  and  was 
much  consoled  by  the  belief  that  it  will  be  sanctified  to  my 
own  spiritual  good,  and  that  of  others.  Am  more  than  recon- 
ciled to  disease  by  this  trust.     Had  a  long  talk  with as 

we  were  riding  out,  on  the  probability  of  my  dying  soon.  She 
does  not  think  it  at  all  likely  that  I  shall  live  long.  I  shall 
be  most  thankful  to  be  taken,  after  I  have  done  and  Buffered 
the  will  of  God  on  earth,  and  I  do  hope  that  my  desire  to  glo- 
rify Him  Avill  become  stronger  and  stronger,  the  little  time  I 
have  to  remain  here. 

"  This  evening  was  wandering  in  prayer,  and  so  unguarded 
in  conversation,  that,  according  to  custom,  I  indulged  in 
foolish  talking  and  jesting.    How  very  inconsistent  I  am  !    I 


1834.]  LETTER    TO    A    SISTER.  117 

do  hope  my  Heavenly  Father  will  give  me  more  of  the  health- 
ful spirit  of  his  grace." 

To  the  same. 

Nov.  13th,  1834. 

"  The  perusal  of  thy  letter  confirms  the  hope  that  thee  feels  a  deep 
and  increasing  interest  in  the  one  thing  needful,  and  it  is  my  fervent 
desire  that  thy  growth  in  grace,  and  in  the  knowledge  of  our  Lord 
Jesus,  will  continue  daily  and  hourly  to  increase.     The  desire  and 
resolution  thee  expresses  to  '  follow  on  to  know  the  Lord,'  is  one 
which,  if  carefully  cherished,  will  most  certainly  be,  ere  long,  real- 
ized, for  our  Heavenly  Father  is  certainly  as  able  to  carry  on  and 
perfect  the  work  of  grace  in  the  heart  as  to  commence  it ;  and  if  we 
could  only  divest  ourselves  of  the  '  evil  heart  of  unbelief,'  which  is 
so  powerful  a  hindrance  to  our  spiritual  advancement,  we  should  be 
ever  enabled  to  add  our  testimony  that  religion's  '  ways  are  ways  of 
pleasantness,  and  all  her  paths  are  peace.'     Simple  faith  in  Jesus 
will  preserve  us  from  the  dangers  of  prosperity,  and  enable  us  to 
glory  in  tribulation  also.     I,  too,  do  most  deeply  feel  the  want  of 
'  that  reverent,  humble,  and  fervent  perception  of  the  glorious  cha- 
racter of  our  Almighty  Father,'  of  which  thee  complains ;  and  the 
only  prescription  I  can  recommend  to  us  both  is,  to  *  pray  without 
ceasing,'  that  the  Lord  will  'lift  up  the  light  of  His  countenance' 
upon  us.    I  was  once  complaining  to  our  dear  departed  Pastor  of  my 
want  of  love  and  gratitude  towards  my  Almighty  Parent,  and  he 
advised  me  to  dwell  much  on  His  goodness,  and  upon  the  bless- 
ings I  have  constantly  received  from  Him,  rather  than  content  my- 
self with  lamenting  my  ingratitude  and  coldness.     Self-examination 
is  of  course  absolutely  essential  to  our  improvement ;  but  we  must 
remember,  that  after  having  looked  at  our  hearts,  and  ascertained 
that  '  there  is  no  health  in  us,'  we  must  look  to  Jesus  as  our  physi- 
cian, ever  remembering  that  there  is  'balm  in  Gilead.'     .... 
"  I  hope,  dear  E.,  that  it  is  thy  constant  prayer  that  God  will  not 
only  make  thee  sensible  of  the  immense  value  of  thy  own  soul,  but 
that  He  will  implant  in  thy  heart  an  earnest  desire  for  the  salvation 
of  others.     If  thee  does  not  feel  this  in  as  great  a  degree  as  thee 
ought,  do  not  be  discouraged,  for  'the  remedy's  before  thee — Pray.' 
By  becoming,  thyself,  an  entirely  devoted  Christian,  thee  may  be- 
come the  means  of  the  salvation  of  many  of  thy  family  and  friends. 
If  others  see  in  thee  '  the  ornament  of  a  meek  and  quiet  spirit,'  they 
will  be  convinced  of  the  reality  of  thy  religion,  and  their  own  need 
of  its  transforming  influence.     It  is  a  very  false  humility  that  in- 


118  CONSISTENCY.  [1834. 

duces  us  to  shrink  from  responsibility  of  this  kind,  and  to  say,  'it 
is  not  worth  while  for  mc  to  make  the  effort,  I  can  never  do  any 
good.'  It  is  a  device  of  Satan,  for  we  must  be  doing  good  or  harm. 
I  heard  a  clergyman  remark,  a  short  time  since,  in  a  lecture  on  the 
subject  of  consistency,  that  there  is  not  a  day  nor  hour  of  our  lives 
in  which  we  are  not  doing  something /or  or  agairisl  Christ. 

''I  suppose  most  persons  are  subject,  in  some  degree,  to  on?  be- 
setting sin,  and  prayer  for  the  illumination  of  the  Spirit,  watchful- 
ness, and  self-examination  will  always  enable  us  to  discover  this,  and 
every  other  *  weight'  which  it  is  our  duty  to  '  lay  aside.'  David's 
petition,  '  Let  not  any  iniquity  have  dominion  over  me,'  should  be 
ours  at  all  times.  I  am  well  convinced  that  it  is  only  by  adhering 
to  the  strait  and  narrow  path,  that  our  happiness  even  in  this  world 
can  be  secured,  and  that  it  is  much  easier  to  yield  to  convictions  of 
duty  than  to  resist  them.  To  be  a  Christian  does,  indeed,  imply  a 
mighty  change.  Self,  the  idol  of  every  unregenerate  heart,  must  be 
mortified  and  subdued, 

''I  do  think,  dear  E.,  that  thee  will  find  it  greatly  conduce  to 
thy  benefit  to  give  up  all  light  reading,  and  to  endeavor  to  confine 
thy  attention,  as  exclusively  as  possible,  to  religion.  Of  course  do- 
mestic and  social  duties  should  be  ever  regarded,  and  if  performed 
with  a  right  spirit,  will  only  tend  to  bring  into  action  Christian 
graces.  I  do  not  doubt  that  thee  knows,  as  well  as  I  can  tell  thee, 
how  very  desirable  it  is  to  have  regular  and  frequent  seasons  of  retire- 
ment. I  do  not  doubt  that  thee  often  finds  the  cares  of  housekeep- 
ing to  interfere  with  thy  comfort,  and  perhaps  thee  may  think  with 
thy  profit;  but  'all  things  shall  work  together  for  good  to  those  that 
love  God,'  and  the  little  daily  vexations  and  trials  of  life  may  prove 
great  blessings,  in  calling  into  exercise  the  virtues'  of  patience  and 
forbearance.  I  am  writing  quite  a  sermon,  I  find.  I  trust  that  it 
is  not  with  a  spirit  of  dictation.  I  know  that  my  own  example  is 
far  from  what  it  ought  to  be,  and  it  is  my  desire  and  resolve,  in  the 
strength  of  Jesus,  to  go  'from  strength  to  strength,  until  I  shall 
appear  before  God  in  Zion.'  " 

'''■Sunday. — Have  been  all  day  kept  from  cliurch — quite 
a  trial — but  have  wished  that  it  may  be  good  for  me.  K.  and 
I  read  the  services  together,  and  prayed.  Have  endeavored 
to  perform  a  duty  to-day,  which  has  rested  on  my  mind  for 

some   time,  to  write  to about  religion.     Very  pooidy 

done,  indeed. 


1834.]  THE     SANCTUARY.  119 

"  2.bth. — I  trust  that  I  am  not  mistaken  in  my  hope  that  I 
am  in  some  degree  growing  in  grace,  and  in  the  knowledge 
of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ.  I  feel  that  I  have  but  little  hu- 
mility. I  detected  myself,  this  morning,  in  wishing  that 
something  might  be  told  that  would  have  been  to  my  advan- 
tage. This  evinces  a  contrary  spirit  to  that  of  the  Gospel, 
and  I  trust  that  the  Lord  will  give  me  a  meek  and  lowly 
spirit ;  that  He  will  enable  me  to  become  entirely  indifferent 
to  the  applause  of  men.  I  hope  I  shall  be  enabled  to  set  a 
holy  and  consistent  example,  and  at  the  same  time  to  prefer 
others  to  myself,  and  feel  my  deficiencies  and  unworthiness. 

'•'•Dec.  2c?. —  I  very  much  enjoyed  devotion  at  my  twilight 
season  of  retirement  on  Sunday,  and  spent  the  evening  in  an 
unusually  profitable  and  pleasant  manner.  I  prayed  that  I 
might  be  preserved  from  trifling  conversation  with  one  par- 
ticular person,  and  felt  that  it  was  in  answer  to  my  prayer 
that  this  person  seemed  in  a  very  spiritual  frame  of  mind. 

"  3c?. — Was  in  a  prayerful  spirit  when  I  retired  last  night, 
and  awoke  in  the  same  frame.  Was  favored  with  a  more  un- 
interrupted season  of  retirement  than  usual,  and  felt  great 
love  for  it.  Throughout  the  day  have  thought  more  than 
usual  of  eternal  things.  About  twilight  had  some  time  for 
prayer,  and  felt  in  a  devotional  spirit.  It  was  a  little  inter- 
rupted by  my  having  to  get  to  church  in  time.  It  is  a  great 
trial  to  me  to  go  late  to  church.  I  felt  an  unusual  drawing 
towards  the  sanctuary  this  evening,  and  was  not  disappointed 
in  my  hope  of  enjoyment.  We  had  a  plain  and  practical  ser- 
mon, the  very  kind  I  best  like,  though  once  I  should  have 
much  preferred  a  flowery  and  eloquent  discourse.  I  wish  I 
could  feel  thankful  enough  for  the  privileges  of  the  sanctuary, 
and  could  feel  a  more  intense  interest  in  the  salvation  of 
those  who  have  never  known  this  blessing,  and  in  the  conver- 
sion of  those  who,  having  it  in  their  power  to  avail  themselves 
of  the  blessings  of  the  Gospel,  can  see  nothing  attractive  in 
them. 


120  DESIRES    FOR    HOLINESS.  [1834. 

"  Dearly  Avell  do  I  love  our  own  dear  Church — better,  and 
better,  and  better.  I  trust,  if  it  be  the  will  of  God,  that  I 
may  live  and  die  in  her  communion.  '  I  prize  her  heavenly 
ways.' 

'■'■Sunday  evening.  — 1.  have  had  a  multitude  of  spiritual 
blessings  this  day,  'the  means  of  grace,  and  the  hope  of 
glory,'  and  I  have  cause  for  repentance  in  my  unthankfulness. 
I  have  thought  many  times,  this  past  week,  of  the  communion, 
and  have  prayed  much  for  a  blessing  upon  it.  I  felt  a  great 
desire  to  realize  the  presence  of  my  Saviour  in  the  commu- 
nion. I  felt  peace  of  mind,  a  hungering  and  thirsting  after 
righteousness,  and  did  not  fear  to  renew  my  dedication  of  my- 
self to  the  Lord.  I  desire  to  lead  a  new  life, — I  steadfastly 
purpose  it.  The  service  ended  with  '  Kock  of  Ages,'  our 
Pastor's  favorite  hymn.  I  went  up  into  sister's  room,  after 
church,  and  could  restrain  my  feelings  no  longer.  I  dream 
of  this  dear  servant  of  the  Lord,  I  think  of  him,  and  I  long 
to  be  in  heaven  with  him.  Oh,  when  shall  I  get  there  ?  I 
thought,  some  time  since,  that  my  death  was  near  at  hand, 
but  now  I  begin  to  think  that  I  may  live  a  long  time,  though 
I  have  not  the  least  expectation  that  my  health  will  be  re- 
stored. I  do  not  wisli  to  live  a  moment  after  I  shall  have 
done  and  suffered  all  the  will  of  God,  for  this  is  all  I  have  to 
live  for.  I  love  my  friends  most  tenderly,  but  I  foci  that  I 
could  gladly  leave  them,  to  be  free  from  sin.  I  pray  that  I 
may  have  no  will  at  all  on  this  subject, — that  I  may  have 
faith  to  believe  that  Jesus  will  support  me  as  tenderly  during 
a  number  of  years  of  suffering  and  temptation  as  during  a  sin- 
gle day  or  hour.  I  know  that  I  am  always  in  danger  —  my 
heart  is  far  more  sinful  than  I  can  realize,  but  God  is  greater 
than  my  heart,  and  '  will  keep  that  which  I  have  committed 
to  him  against  that  day.' 

"  I  long  to  be  freed  from  sin.  It  intertwines  itself  with 
every  feeling  of  my  heart.  I  often  think  how  delightful  it 
would  be  to  be  wholly  'crucified  unto  the  world,'  to  be  filled 


1834.]  HUMILITY.  121 

with  ardent  and  unvarying  aflfection  for  the  children  of  God, 
and  a  constant  desire  for  the  salvation  of  sinners, — to  be  so 
humble  as  to  glory  in  nothing  but  the  cross  of  Christ,  and  to 
have  a  constant  eye  to  the  glory  of  God.  I  want  more  mis- 
sionary zeal, — I  want,  I  want  every  thing  that  is  good. 

'  I  -want  a  heart  to  praise  my  God, 
A  heart  from  sin  set  free  ;' 

If  I  be  not  most  grievously  self-deceived,  I  have  given  my 
heart  to  God,  and  am  determined  to  follow  after  holiness, — 
to  be  satisfied  with  nothing  else.  I  would  depend  on  nothing 
but  the  Righteousness  of  Christ.  I  have  prayed  a  great  deal 
that  I  may  see  as  much  of  my  heart  as  I  can  bear, — that  my 
self-love  and  confidence  may  be  all  taken  away.  I  am  very 
much  afraid  that  I  have  been,  and  am  still  in  danger  of  being 
injured  by  the  favorable  opinion  of  others.  How  very  inju- 
dicious it  is  to  express  such  sentiments  !  The  knowledge  that 
my  influence  has  been  in  some  instances  useful,  is  encouraging 
to  me,  and  I  hope  I  remember  whose  goodness  made  it  so ; 
but  I  do  not  wish  to  be  told  that  I  am  better  than  others,  and 
that  I  am  altogether  consistent.  God  gives  me  grace  to  be 
patient  in  suffering,  and  to  endeavor  to  know  and  do  His 
will,  but  they  ought  not  to  praise  me  for  it.  I  know  that  I 
do  not  improve  as  I  ought,  the  grace  that  is  given  me  —  that 
I  am  by  no  means  what  I  might  be,  if  I  would  '  only  believe' 
with  single  faith  on  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ.  There  is  not  a 
day  of  my  life  in  which  I  do  not  things  which  I  ought  not, 
and  leave  undone  things  which  I  ought  to  do.  I  am  often 
impatient  of  contradiction,  —  I  am  indolent  and  selfish,  —  I 
very  often  forget  to  pray  for  those  in  whose  conversion  I 
ought  to  feel  the  deepest  interest.  I  do  scarcely  any  thing  in 
the  cause  of  Christ.  And  when  I  am  made  sensible  of  these 
and  other  sins,  I  begin  to  think  myself  humble.  I  know  that 
I  am  far  worse  than  I  even  suspect. 

"  Yet  none  of  these  things  need  discourage  me,  for  '  the 
blood  of  Jesus  Christ  cleanseth  from  all  sin,'  and  yet  I  have 

11 


122  THE   pastor's  testimony.  [1834. 

not  tliat  simple  faith  tliat  I  ouglit  to  have  in  His  merits.  I 
am  often  not  the  least  affected  when  I  read  and  think  of  all 
that  He  has  done  and  suffered  for  me.  Lord,  be  merciful  to 
me,  a  miserable  sinner,  who  knows  not  her  own  sinfulness. 
Oh,  be  pleased  to  create  in  me  a  clean  heart,  and  renew  a 
right  spirit  within  me. 

'-'■Sunday. — The  sermon  was  very  good,  from  the  text,  '  To 
you,  therefore,  who  believe.  He  is  precious.'  Such  a  text 
always  arrests  my  attention  with  peculiar  force,  for  I  only 
desire  to  know  Christ  crucified.  In  church,  this  afternoon, 
my  thoughts  were  very  unsettled.  I  do  hate  these  vain 
thoughts.  I  have  lately  been  interested  in  reading  '  The  Pas- 
tor's Testimony,'  a  delightful  book.  It  warms  my  heart,  and 
confirms  my  resolution  to  devote  myself  unreservedly  to  the 
Lord.  IIow  forcibly  do  the  sentiments  contained  in  this  work 
remind  me  of  those  so  often  expressed  by  our  beloved  Pastor ! 
I  have  prayed  that  the  flock  of  this  Pastor  who  gives  so  faith- 
ful a  Testimony  to  the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus,  may  prize  and 
profit  by  his  ministrations  while  he  is  yet  continued  with 
them.  I  wish  I  had  realized  the  blessing  I  possessed  in  our 
dear  Pastor ;  but  it  is  not  too  late  to  profit  by  his  precepts 
and  example. 

"  M.  has  been  reading  aloud  the  sketch  of  Anzonetta 
Peters,  contained  in  the  Pastor's  Testimony.  It  drew  from 
my  eyes  many  tears,  and  from  my  heart  many  prayers.  I 
have  rarely  read  so  lovely  a  delineation  of  Christian  cha- 
racter, and  yet  it  is  one  that  all  may  attain.  And  why 
should  not  I?  In  the  strength  of  Jesus,  I  will;  and  I  will 
not  here  confine  my  attention  to  any  human  model,  —  I  will 
look  to  Jesus.  And  lest  aught  of  self-confidence  should 
mingle  with  my  resolve,  I  will  especially  pray  that  in  prefer- 
ence to  all  Christian  graces,  humility  may  be  granted  me. 
I  will  pray  that  I  may  see  more  of  my  sinfulness,  and  more 
of  the  all-suflicient  grace  of  God,  and  the  love  of  Jesus.  And 
will  the  Lord  refuse  to  grant  me  His  blessing?  No.  What- 
ever means  He  may,  in  His  infinite  wisdom,  employ  for  my 


1834.]  LETTERS.  123 

purification,  He  will  in  His  own  good  time  enable  mo  to  per- 
fect holiness  in  the  fear  of  the  Lord." 

To  Mrs.  J. 

"  Phila.,  Dec.  15,  1834. 

"  It  is  with  much  pleasure  that  I  station  myself  at  my  little  desk, 

with  the  purpose  of  writing  to  you,  my  dear  Mrs.  J ,  for  I  feel 

that  I  can  hold  unreserved  communion  with  you  on  that  subject 
which  most  interests  me.  I  have  often  thanked  my  Heavenly  Father 
for  the  interest  that  you  and  some  of  His  other  dear  children  have 
manifested  in  my  spiritual  welfare. 

"  I  had  a  very  pleasant  visit  in  the  country,  and  much  enjoyed 
the  society  of  my  dear  cousins,  to  whom  I  have  always  been  tenderly 
attached,  and  who  are  deeply  interested  in  the  'one  thing  needful.' 
I  feel  more  than  ever  convinced  of  the  reality  of  the  change  which 

dear has  experienced.     She  seems  to  be  indeed  a  new  creature, 

and  is  more  consistent  in  her  conduct  than  any  one  with  whom  I 
have  ever  been  intimately  acquainted  who  has  espei'ienced  so  recent 
a  change.  I  think  it  is  delightful  to  see  the  love  of  God  so  pecu- 
liarly manifested  towards  those  whom  He  has  deprived  of  earthly 
parents.     He  does  not,  indeed,  leave  them  orphans. 

"  The  attention  of  several  of  my  young  friends  appears  to  havo 
been  awakened  to  this  subject;  and  will  you  pray  that  I  may  be 
faithful  in  the  discharge  of  my  duty  towards  them  —  that  I  may  be 
enabled  to  set  them  an  example  of  consistency — that  a  sinful  diffi- 
dence may  not  prevent  me,  as  it  has  too  often  done,  from  conversing 
with  them  on  their  souls'  best  interests.  I  often  feel  astonished 
that  I  feel  so  little  concern  for  the  salvation  of  others,  and  that  my 
prayers  for  them  are  so  cold  and  infrequent.  Very  much  do  I  need 
a  deeper  work  of  grace,  and  I  regard  this  consciousness  as  an  earnest 
that  it  will  be  vouchsafed  me.  If  I  know  my  own  heart,  I  do  indeed 
'  count  all  things  but  loss  for  the  excellency  of  the  knowledge  of 
Christ  Jesus  my  Lord,'  and  I  do  not  doubt  that  every  needful  spi- 
ritual gift  will  be  imparted  to  me.  I  feel  that  I  have  a  very  inade- 
quate knowledge  of  the  entire  depravity  of  my  heart,  and  that  my 
faith  in  Christ  is  very  weak.  In  every  Christian  grace  I  am  exceed- 
ingly deficient,  and  I  wish  to  realize  more  fully,  with  my  beloved 
pastor.  Dr.  Bedell,  that  'Jesus  is  my  hope; — that  washed  in  His 
blood,  justified  by  His  righteousness,  sanctified  by  His  grace,  I  have 
peace  with  God.'  I  feel  that  I  am  a  child  of  God,  but  I  long  for  the 
confidence  of  an  affectionate  child.  Will  you  pray  very  often  for  me, 
my  dear  Mrs.  J.,  that  I  may  know  more  of  that  love  which  passeth 


124  LETTERS.  [1834. 

knowledge  —  that  my  whole  heart  may  be  filled  with  it  —  that  the 
glor}'  of  God  may  be  the  end  of  my  existence  ?  I  have  the  greatest 
dread  oi  self-confidence.  I  know  my  proncness  to  it,  and  would 
rather  desire  an  humble,  child-like  spirit,  than  any  other  attainment. 
How  much  I  do  miss  the  aifectionate  counsels  of  my  departed  Pastor  ! 
I  trust,  however,  that  his  death  has  been  sanctified  to  me,  though 
one  of  the  deepest  afflictions  I  have  ever  experienced,  in  having 
caused  me  more  fully  to  realize  that  there  is  one  who  '  ever  liveth  to 
make  intercession'  for  me.  I  trust  that  I  may  be  enabled  to  follow 
the  path  of  him  whose  memory  is  unspeakably  dear  to  me,  and  that 
if  it  be  my  Heavenly  Father's  will,  it  may  not  be  long  ere  I  unite 
with  him  in  serving  God  'without  weariness.'  Oh !  I  do  so  long  to 
be  freed  from  sin  !  *  The  burthen  of  it  is  intolerable.'  I  do  sin- 
cerely desire  that  it  may  be  my  sole  endeavor  to  do  and  suffer  the 
will  of  God,  and  that  I  may  be  perfectly  contented  to  live  or  die,  as 
may  be  most  pleasing  in  His  sight.  I  have  been  very  egotistical, 
but  to  you  I  need  not  apologize.  I  know  that  it  is  your  delight  to 
give  counsel  and  encouragement  to  those  who  are  hungering  and 
thirsting  after  righteousness,  and  that  your  prayers  are  offered  to 
'  our  Father  in  Heaven'  that  they  may  indeed  be  filled." 

To  Miss  E.  K 

Dec.  18,  1834. 
*  *  *  a  "When  the  mind  is  once  awakened  to  serious  feeling, 
sympathy  and  encouragement  are  received  with  eagerness,  however 
humble  be  the  instrument  by  which  they  are  conveyed.  The  prone- 
ness  to  take  offence,  and  to  criticise,  which  is  evident  while  the  wis- 
dom of  the  Cross  is  deemed  foolishness,  gives  place  to  the  inquiry, 
'  What  must  I  do  to  be  saved  T  when  once  the  importance  of  reli- 
gion is  fully  recognized.  This  truth  experience  has  taught  me,  and 
observation  has  confirmed,  and  it  is  to  its  influence  that  I  ascribe  the 
interest  thee  manifests,  dear  E.,  in  all  that  I  have  to  say  to  thee  on 
this  subject.  And  I  trust  that  the  confidence  that  is  reposed  in  me, 
in  matters  of  this  kind,  has  a  tendency  to  make  me  more  fully  sen- 
sible of  my  entire  unworthiness,  and  to  increase  the  fervency  of  my 
petition,  'Oh,  Lord,  open  Thou  my  lips,  and  my  mouth  shall  show 
forth  thy  praise.'  It  is  useful  to  me  in  causing  me  to  realize  in  a 
greater  degree  my  responsibility  as  a  professor  of  religion,  not  only 
as  my  own  welfiire  is  concerned,  but  as  my  example  may  affect 
others.  I  must  cither  be  a  ftiithful  soldier  of  the  cross,  or  a  greater 
traitor  than  was  the  wretched  Judas.  May  I  be  enabled  to  be  'a 
savor  of  life  unto  life.' 


1834.]  CLOSE     OF    THE     YEAR.  125 

"  I  am  not  afraid,  my  dear  friend,  to  address  thee  in  the  language 
of  encouragement.  The  promises  of  Scripture  are  familiar  to  thy 
memory,  and  1  hope  are  making  their  way  deeper  and  deeper  into 
thy  heart.  They  are,  indeed,  '  exceeding  great  and  precious,'  and 
the  more  we  meditate  on  and  pray  over  them,  the  more  eflfectual 
shall  we  find  them  in  making  us  '  wise  unto  salvation/  Instead, 
then,  of  musing  over  thy  wants  with  feelings  of  despondency,  open 
thy  Bible,  and  with  the  prayer  that  God  will  enable  thee  to  believe 
and  understand  it,  search  out  the  promises  that  best  suit  thy  case. 

"  I  think,  dear  E.,  that  it  would  be  much  better  for  us  to  confine 
our  attention  in  a  great  degree  to  the  Bible,  or  at  least  not  to  allow 
ourselves  to  become  more  interested  in  any  other  book ;  and  as  thee 
has  not  a  great  deal  of  leisure  to  devote  to  reading,  I  think  it  very 
desirable  that  thee  should  give  the  sacred  volume  thy  preference.  I 
know  that  I  have  often  felt  as  if  I  would  like  to  read  something  else, 
when  I  have  thought  it  my  duty  to  read  the  Bible,  and  I  am  con- 
vinced that  this  is  a  wrong  state  of  mind,  and  should  be  discouraged." 

The  close  of  this  year  of  bodily  suffering,  debility  and 
exhaustion,  of  spiritual  peace,  progress  and  illumination,  is 
thus  noted  in  the  Diary  of  the  self-abased  and  patient 
invalid. 

'^Dec.  Slst. — How  inadequate  has  been  my  improvement 
during  the  past  year  !  How  often  have  I  grieved  the  Holy 
Spirit,  and  how  slow  has  been  the  growth  of  grace  in  my 
soul !  And  this  is  not  because  God  was  unwilling  to  make  me 
a  devoted  Christian,  a  boly  sacrifice,  but  because  I  ask,  and 
believe  not.  If  my  life  should  be  spared  until  the  beginning 
of  the  New  Year,  may  I  commence  it  with  a  deep  sense  of 
my  sinfulness,  and  a  simple  trust  in  the  merits  of  Jesus." 


11* 


CHAPTER   VII. 

1835. 

Expediency  of  Diaries  —  Characteristics  of  the  present  Diary  —  Visits 
to  the  sick  —  Vernal  beauties  —  Letter  tj  her  Mother  —  Grief  at 
profanation  of  the  Sabbath  —  Bishop  Moore  —  Romanism  —  New 
Pastor  —  Ilis  Institution  —  Rev.  Mr.  Clark's  Sermons. 

Upon  the  advantage  of  keeping  a  minute  record  of  tlie 
spiritual  state,  and  of  tlie  daily  life,  there  has  been  much 
difference  of  opinion.  That  a  religious  diary  is  not  to  all 
persons,  and  under  all  circumstances,  beneficial,  can  hardly 
be  questioned.  To  know  one's  self  is  proverbially  difficult; 
to  pen  a  just  and  truthful  description  of  ourselves  not  less 
so.  Many  a  journalist  discovers,  inadvertantly,  traits  of 
character,  of  which  the  writer  was  unsuspicious,  and  conveys 
to  the  reader  a  very  different  impression  from  that  which 
was  entertained  by  himself.  A  mind,  too,  that  is  morbidly 
sensitive  to  its  own  operations,  too  much  given  to  self-study 
and  introversion,  would  aggravate  its  own  unhappy  ten- 
dencies by  the  practice.  An  exaggerated  estimate  of  frames 
and  feelings,  a  neglect  of  the  great  objective  truths  of  the 
gospel,  dreamy  enthusiasm  or  gloomy  depression,  and  duties 
left  undone,  Avould  be  the  natural  result.  The  diaries  of 
such  persons,  full  of  wearisome  repetitions,  are  unprofitable 
to  their  authors,  and  devoid  of  interest  or  value  to  others. 

On  the  other  hand,  the  truthful  record,  by  an  earnest  and 
intelligent  Christian,  of  the  different  stages  of  the  spiritual 
life,  of  the  conflicts,  troubles  and  enjoyments  of  the  soul 
struggling  to  walk  with  God,  the  enumeration  of  Providential 
mercies  and  deliverances,  of  divine  checks,  supports  and  con- 
solations, cannot  but  prove  an  exceeding  help  to  self-exami- 
nation and  growth  in  grace.     No  human  hand  can  so  draw 

(12G) 


1835.]  DIARIES.  127 

the  portraiture  of  soul-life,  as  the  individual  delineated. 
"For  what  man  knoweth  the  things  of  a  man,  save  the  spirit 
of  man  which  is  in  him?"  And  when  a  vivid,  impariial  and 
discriminating  picture  is  presented  of  the  inner  history  of  a 
child  of  God,  it  cannot  but  engage  the  attention,  and  appeal 
to  the  sympathy  of  Christian  readers.  Such  heart-narratives 
are  rare.  Those  who  might  best  trace  them  are  often  too 
busily  engaged  in  the  active  and  stirring  scenes  of  life  to 
leave  memorials  of  this  kind  behind  them,  or  such  memorials 
as  may  be  suitably  presented  to  the  public  eye. 

In  reviewing  Miss  Allibone's  Diary,  the  author  has  been 
surprised,  as  well  at  its  copiousness,  as  at  its  clearness,  variety 
and  justness  of  observation.  It  has  appeared  to  him  emi- 
nently free  from  the  faults  to  which  this  species  of  composi- 
tion is  liable,  and  to  combine,  in  an  unusual  degree,  its  chief 
excellencies. 

That  a  person,  in  her  feeble  state  of  health,  should  con- 
tinue, for  so  many  years,  a  work,  demanding  so  much  bodily 
and  mental  effort,  is  truly  surprising.  It  is  a  remarkable 
monument  of  her  diligence,  perseverance  and  faithful  deal- 
ing with  herself.  Sincerity  pervades  every  line,  and  deep 
devotional  feeling  pours  itself  forth  without  restraint.  The 
close  inspection  of  her  own  thoughts,  and  words,  and  ways, 
is  wonderful,  and  shows  her  constant  anxiety  so  to  walk  as 
to  please  God; — while  her  earnest,  simple  faith,  going  out 
of  herself  to  rest  in  Christ,  and  her  unfeigned  love,  longing 
to  bless  and  comfort  others,  preserved  her  from  any  tendency 
to  morbid  self-engrossment.  The  aim  with  which  she  prose- 
cuted this  work  is  thus  referred  to  in  the  commencement  of 
one  of  her  little  memorandum-books. 

"  I  trust  that  my  Heavenly  Father  will  bestow  a  blessing 
upon  my  heart  in  writing  in  this  book,  and  that  lie  will  pre- 
serve me  from  expressing  any  feeling  or  sentiment  that  has 
not  come  from  the  very  bottom  of  my  heart.  I  keep  a  Diary 
for  the  sole  purpose  of  spiritual  benefit,  that  I  may  make  a 


128  TWO    YEARS    AGO.  [1835. 

record  of  my  thoughts  and  actions,  and  that  I  may  be  thus 
enabled  to  review  the  past." 

Another  allusion  to  the  subject  occurs  among  the  first 
entries  of  the  year  1835. 

"  I  am  almost  discouraged  from  writing  in  this  book.  I 
have  little  to  record  but  wandering  thoughts  and  idle  Avords, 
but  I  trust  there  is  a  great  blessing  in  reserve  for  me.  Oh, 
how  much  do  I  need  a  grateful  sense  of  the  means  which 
have  already  been  vouchsafed  to  me!" 

"  February  Is^,  Sunday. — This  day  two  years  since  I  was 
first  admitted  to  the  most  comfortable  sacrament  of  the  body 
and  blood  of  Christ,  and  this  morning  I  anticipate  the  enjoy- 
ment of  this  privilege.  It  will  be  profitable  to  compare  my 
present  feelings  with  those  with  which  I  first  approached  the 
table  of  the  Lord.  I  was  then  '  trembling  and  afraid  ;'  weak 
in  faith,  but  very  sincere  ;  conscious  of  my  unworthiness,  yet 
trusting  that  the  all-sufiiciency  of  my  Redeemer  would  be 
yet  more  fully  revealed  to  me,  and  that  I  should  yet  rejoice 
in  Him  who  is  the  health  of  my  countenance,  and  my  God. 
I  hoped  to  make  rapid  advances  in  the  divine  life  —  to  press 
unwavering  towards  the  mark  of  our  high  calling.  I  would 
not  then  have  believed  that,  after  this  interval,  my  progress 
would  have  been  so  small,  so  inadequate  to  my  privileges. 
I  am  still  weak  and  wavering,  iitconsistent  and  unbelieving, 
yet  the  Lord  has  had  mercy  on  me.  When  I  cried.  He  an- 
swered me,  and  sent  strength  into  my  soul,  and  if  I  shall  be 
permitted  to  go  up  to  the  sanctuary  to-day,  I  shall  not  fear 
to  approach  the  table  of  the  Lord,  and  I  trust  that  I  shall 
be  enabled  to  '  draw  near  with  faith,  and  to  take  this  Holy 
Sacrament  to  my  comfort.' 

"  This  day  two  years  ago,  our  dear  pastor  preached  from 
the  text,  '  Brethren,  I  count  not  myself  to  have  apprehended.' 
Very  forcibly  is  that  sermon  impressed  upon  my  mind. 
"  The  communion  was  very  solemn.     I  was  not  as  much 


1835.]  VISITS   TO   THE   sick.  129 

affected  as  usual,  but  I  felt  that  I  was  confirming  my  cove- 
nant "with  God  :  offering  myself  unto  Him  in  a  holy  and 
acceptable  sacrifice.  Oh,  how  sinful  I  am,  and  how  great  is 
that  righteousness  which  can  and  does  avail  for  me  !" 

"  Qth.  —  Last  Tuesday  I  paid  a  visit  to  a  woman  who  has 
been  for  several  years  a  subject  of  excruciating  suffering. 
For  six  months,  her  sister  says,  she  has  not  been  raised  in 
bed,  or  turned.  I  was  much  agitated  by  the  prospect  of 
going  to  see  this  person,  whom  the  doctor  thinks  very  near 
eternity,  as  I  was  not  acquainted  with  the  state  of  her 
mind.  I  felt  the  responsibility  of  my  situation.  I  endeavored 
to  cast  my  burden  upon  the  Lord,  and  asked  dear  E.  to  pray 
that  I  might  be  enabled  to  discharge  my  duty,  whatever  it 
might  be.  She  appeared,  however,  to  place  her  dependence 
upon  her  Saviour,  and  to  be,  as  far  as  I  could  judge,  pre- 
pared for  eternity. 

"  I  called  next  day  to  see  her,  and  found  her  in  great 
agony,  so  that  she  shrieked  with  pain.  This  was  a  good  les- 
son for  me,  and  I  saw,  by  her  bedside,  the  inefficiency  of  this 
world's  consolations.  I  prayed  that  the  Holy  Spirit  would 
withdraw  my  affections  from  all  earthly  things,  and  place 
them  upon  Jesus,  that,  by  His  influence,  I  may  be  prepared 
to  do  and  to  suffer  the  will  of  the  Lord.  0,  may  the  Lord 
be  with  me,  '  in  all  time  of  prosperity,  in  all  time  of  tribula- 
tion, in  the  hour  of  death,  and  in  the  day  of  judgment.' 
Then,  safely  sheltered  beneath  the  wing  of  his  protection,  I 
shall  have  naught  to  fear." 

"  Wi.  —  I  went  to  read  to  an  old  black  woman  whom  sister 
took  me  to  see  last  week.  I  asked  if  she  had  ever  read,  or 
rather  heard  read,  '  Old  Sarah,  the  Indian  woman.'  She 
said,  '  Oh,  yes,  that  she  once  had  the  tract,  and  had  kept  it 
on  the  bed  beside  her  during  a  long  illness,  but  she  had  lost 
it.'  She  then  referred  to  some  parts  of  it  with  great  interest. 
I  read  it  to  her,  and  a  chapter  of  the  Bible.  She  seemed  to 
enjoy  it  as  'a  feast  of  fat  things.'  She  says  that  for  forty 
I 


130  THE    ENQUIRER    DIRECTED    TO    CHRIST.  [1835. 

years  she  has  endeavored  to  serve  the  Lord  in  her  poor  way, 
and  though  she  has  had  many  ups  and  downs,  and  though 
the  billows  have  run  high,  yet  they  have  never  overwhelmed 
her.  She  can  read  a  very  little  in  the  spelling-book,  and  I 
have  promised,  if  it  be  the  Lord's  will,  to  instruct  her.  She 
says  her  Master  will  help  her  to  learn  when  I  am  not  with 
her.  She  suffers  very  much,  lives  alone,  and  is  very  poor, 
and  yet  seems  very  happy.  This  is  easily  accounted  for, — 
the  Lord  is  her  portion.  I  trust  that  if  I  be  permitted  to 
have  future  intercourse  with  her,  it  will  be  greatly  blessed  to 
my  spiritual  good,  and  I  shall  regard  this  privilege  as  one 
token  of  the  love  of  my  Heavenly  Father.  Much  do  I  need 
something  to  speed  my  progress  Zionward, — not  added  means 
of  grace,  for  I  have  them  in  abundance,  but  a  heart  to  prize 
and  profit  by  them.  I  want  humility,  and  a  spirit  of  self- 
denial,  but  above  all,  I  want  love  to  my  Saviour,  and  simple 
dependence  upon  His  merits.  Oh,  may  all  my  needs  be  mer- 
cifully provided  for  by  His  abundant  mercy,  and  may  God 
impart  to  me  His  saving  and  sanctifying  grace,  in  propor- 
tion, not  to  my  desires,  but  to  my  necessities,  and  His  infinite 
love." 

To  a  Friend. 

Feb.  14,  1835. 
''  I  was  much  affected  by  the  perusal  of  thy  letter,  dear  R,  Thee 
asks  me  if  I  think  that  the  desire  to  know  the  truth  would  have  ever 
been  implanted  in  thy  heart,  if  it  bad  been  the  intention  of  a  merci- 
ful and  wise  God  to  keep  thee  in  ignorance  of  the  knowledge  of  His 
ways  ?  Have  I  ever  used  to  thee  the  language  of  discouragement  ? 
If  so,  may  I  be  mercifully  forgiven  for  having  offended  one  of  my 
Heavenly  Father's  little  ones.  I  trust  that  I  had  much  rather  pass 
the  remnant  of  my  life  in  a  dark  and  noisome  dungeon,  than  throw 
a  single  obstacle  in  the  path  of  one  whose  steps  are  turned  Zion- 
ward. I  do  not  look  upon  thee  as  an  unbeliever,  my  dear  friend. 
I  believe  that  God  is  leading  thee  in  the  way  everlasting,  and  that 
thy  path  will  'shine  brighter  and  brighter  unto  the  perfect  day.' 
But  it  has  seemed  to  me,  that  had  thee  a  clearer  view  of  the  character 
and  offices  of  our  lledeemer — that  it  is  only  through  our  Lord  Jesus 


1835.]  LETTER    TO    A    YOUNG    FRIEND.  131 

Christ  that  God  giveth  us  the  victory  —  thy  peace  of  mind  would  be 
more  fully  established.  Am  I  wrong  in  my  impression,  that  though 
thee  feels  the  sinfulness  of  thy  heart,  and  thy  inability  to  do  any 
thing  acceptable  in  the  sight  of  God,  thee  does  not  suificiently  realize 
that  '  Christ  is  the  end  of  the  law  for  righteousness  to  every  one  that 
believeth  ?'  It  is  almost  with  trembling  that  I  write  thus  to  thee, 
my  dear  R.  I  would,  were  it  only  for  thy  sake,  that  I  knew  more 
of  the  height,  and  depth,  the  length,  and  breadth  of  the  love 
of  Christ ;  but  I  do  see  such  beauty  in  the  plan  of  salvation,  such 
love  iu  the  sacrifice  made  by  '  Him,  who  was  wounded  for  our  trans- 
gressions, bruised  for  our  iniquities,  and  with  whose  stripes  we  are 
healed,'  that  I  want  us  both  to  fully  realize  that  He  is  our  all  in  all. 
I  have  heard  persons  say  with  great  sincerity,  but  in  my  opinion 
under  very  erroneous  impressions,  that  it  seemed  to  them  that  giving 
glory  to  the  Son  was  derogating  from  the  honor  due  to  the  Father. 
Surely,  if  this  were  so,  our  Saviour  would  have  reproved  His  disci- 
ples for  worshipping  Him  after  His  resurrection ;  and,  in  fact,  the 
Scriptures  would  appear  to  me  a  mass  of  contradictions.     *     * 

To  a  Yoiuig  Friend. 

Philadelphia,  Feb.  28th,  1835. 

"I  have  often  thought,  dear  H.,  that  I  would  in  this  way  express 
to  you  my  very  earnest  desire  that  you  should  '  remember  your  Crea- 
tor in  the  days  of  your  youth,'  and  thereby  secure  for  yourself  '  that 
peace  which  the  world  can  neither  give  nor  take  away.' 

"  Since  I  have  first  known  you,  I  have  felt  a  very  great  interest 
in  this  subject,  and  have  many  times  prayed  that  my  Heavenly 
Father  would  be  pleased,  in  His  infinite  mercy,  to  make  you  a  sub- 
ject of  redeeming  grace;  and  most  especially  that  He  would  do  it 
noiv,  that  your  whole  life  may  be  consecrated  to  His  service.  I  do 
not  believe  that  you  will  be  offended  at  the  freedom  of  my  remarks, 
for  I  hope  you  are,  in  some  degree,  sensible  of  their  importance,  and 
you  will  do  me  the  justice  to  believe  that  I  am  actuated  by  motives 
pf  aff'ection,  and  not  by  a  spirit  of  dictation.  And  now,  what  shall  I 
say  to  induce  you  to  seriously  consider  this  subject?  For  if  you  will 
only  do  this,  dear  H.,  much  will  be  accomplished.  I  do  not  doubt 
that  you  have  very  many  serious  reflections,  that  you  will  acknow- 
ledge the  truth  of  the  arguments  that  are  commonly  adduced  in  favor 
of  religion;  and  I  think  it  quite  probable  that  you  intend,  at  some 
future  period,  to  allow  them  to  exercise  a  practical  influence.  But 
what  a  happy  thing  it  would  be  if  you  could  realize  that  '  now  is  the 


132  INVITATIONS.  [1835. 

accepted  time,  now  is  the  day  of  salvation  ;'  and  if  this  conviction 
would  induce  you  to  early  seek  the  favor  of  God,  that  you  mayi'ejoice 
and  be  clad  all  the  days  of  your  life.  Let  me  persuade  you  to  seek 
the  influences  of  the  Spirit  to  incline  your  heart  to  the  ways  of  God's 
commandments,  to  devote  a  portion  of  every  day  to  the  prayerful 
perusal  of  the  Word  of  Life,  and  to  listen  attentively  to  the  exhor- 
tations that  are  addressed  to  you  from  the  pulpit;  and,  above  all,  to 
cherish  every  serious  impression.  I  know  you  are  not  happy;  au 
immortal  mind  can  never  rest  satisfied  with  this  world's  vanities. 

'  Now  in  thy  youth  beseech  of  Ilim 

Who  giveth,  upbraiding  not, 
That  His  light  in  thy  heart  become  not  dim, 

And  His  love  be  not  forgot. 
And  thy  God  in  the  darkest  days  shall  be 
Greenness,  and  beauty,  and  strength  to  thee.' 

"  It  is  to  me  an  affecting  thought,  that  among  all  the  gay  com- 
panions by  whom  you  are  surrounded,  there  are  perhaps  very  few 
who  have  ever  seriously  considered  the  purpose  of  their  existence,  or 
who,  having  considered  it,  have  not  deferred  to  'a  more  convenient 
season'  the  surrender  of  their  hearts'  best  affections  to  Hira  who 
alone  is  entitled  to  them.  Oh !  that  you,  my  dear  H.,  could  realize 
the  immense  value  of  your  own  soul ;  that  you  could  feel  a  deeper 
interest  in  their  eternal  welfare ;  that  having  yourself  passed  '  from 
death  unto  life,'  it  were  the  earnest  desire  and  prayer  of  your  heart 
that  they  might  be  saved.  But  until  you  are  interested  in  your  own 
salvation,  you  cannot  greatly  desire  that  they  should  experience  that 
change  of  heart,  without  which  we  cannot  enter  the  kingdom  of  Gfod. 
But  if  you  will  now  go  to  the  Saviour,  that  you  may  have  life,  you 
will  be  made  tremblingly  alive  to  y&ur  responsibility." 

March  22d,  1835. 
"  It  is  my  inexpressible  desire  and  fervent  prayer,  my  beloved 
friend,  that  my  Heavenly  Father  will  bless  my  endeavor  to  direct 
thy  attention  to  the  Lamb  of  God  who  taketh  away  the  sins  of  the 
world,  and  that  thee  may  be  enabled  to  fully  realize  that  He  was  de- 
livered for  thy  offences,  and  raised  again  for  thy  justification ;  and 
that,  therefore,  being  justified  by  faith,  thee  has  peace  with  God 
through  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ.  Then  will  thee  be  enabled  to  see 
that  my  assertion,  that  'it  is  impossible  for  any  one  to  be  saved,  ex- 
cept through  faith  in  the  Redeemer's  blood,'  does  not  limit  the 
power,  or  compromise  the  mercy  and  goodness  of  Omnipotence.     I 


1835.]  DIVINITY    OF     CHRIST.  133 

am  supported  by  the  decLiration  of  the  Book  of  Life,  that  '  there  is 
no  othni-  nniue  under  he.iven  given  among  men  whereby  we  can  be 
saved,'  and  fully  assured  that  it  is  in  the  face  of  Jesus  Christ  that 
the  glory  of  God  is  revealed,  I  fear  not  to  dishonor  Him  by  believing 
that  He  and  the  Father  are  one.  To  sustain  my  views  of  this  sub- 
ject, I  might  bring  forth  proofs  from  the  beginning  to  the  end  of 
the  Scriptures;  but  I  will  only  ask  thee,  my  dear  cousin,  to  search 
them  for  thyself,  with  a  prayer  that  thee  may  be  enabled  to  know 
'  the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus,'  and  to  be  not  discouraged  by  any  diffi- 
culties that  arise  in  thy  path.  Our  Heavenly  Father  docs  always 
give  His  Holy  Spirit  to  those  who  ask  Him,  and  He  has  in  no  small 
degree  accorded  it  to  thee,  in  inspiring  so  continued  and  sincere  a 
desire  to  love  Him  with  thy  whole  heart.  Let  it,  then,  be  thy  un- 
ceasing petition,  '  Oh,  Lord  !  open  Thou  mine  eyes,  that  I  may  be- 
hold wondrous  things  out  of  Thy  law.'  I  think  it  would  be  best  for 
thee  to  direct  thy  attention  entirely  to  the  Bible.  Many  inquirers 
after  the  truth  have  found  it  the  best  plan.  Thee  will  find  one  with 
references  of  great  use.  Oh  !  let  us  not  endeavor  to  pry  into  the 
secret  things  of  the  Most  High.  Great  is  indeed  the  mystery  of  god- 
liness, and  great  it  must  remain  to  us,  while  we  are  in  the  flesh.  Let 
us  pray  constantly  for  simple  faith ;  and  when  we  shall  have  been 
enabled  to  believe  the  commandment,  our  Heavenly  Father  will 
teach  us  good  judgment  and  knowledge,  as  far  as  is  consistent  with 
His  will. 

"  I  believe,  with  thee,  that  it  is  only  with  '  the  heart  man  be- 
lieveth  unto  righteousness;'  that  the  mere  assent  of  the  understand- 
ing profiteth  nothing;  that  Christ  must  be  'formed  within  us  the 
hope  of  glory,'  ere  we  can  have  any  title  to  a  Heavenly  inheritance. 
I  feel  that  my  love  for  my  lledeemer,  in  comparison  with  what  He 
has  done  for  me,  is  very,  very  cold.  Oh  !  may  He  kindle  it  into  a 
bright  flame  of  devotion,  and  make  me  the  instrument  of  turning 
many  unto  righteousness. 

"  Do  not,  my  dear  cousin,  allow  the  evil  Spirit  to  tempt  thee 
with  doubt;  resist  him,  and  he  will  flee  from  thee.  Thy  Heavenly 
Father  calls  thee  to  Himself,  to  take  refuge  in  the  Everlasting 
Arms  from  thy  soul's  adversaries.  Oh,  '  pray  without  ceasing.'  In 
due  season,  thou  shalt  reap,  and  find  *joy  and  peace  in  believing;' 
and  while  writing  this  letter,  I  feel  inspired  with  new  confidence  in 
my  Saviour's  merits ;  and  I  too  will  seek  to  love  and  to  serve  Him 
better.  He  will  answer  our  prayers,  and  then  let  us  suffer  as  we 
may,  we  will  rejoice  in  God  our  Saviour. 

12 


134  ACQUIESCENCE.  '  [1835. 

"Let  us  pra)'  for  faitli,  for  humility,  for  charity,  for  every  Chris- 
tian grace.  Let  us  pray  that  we  may  be  enabled  to  realize  the  value 
of  the  souls  of  others,  and  to  labor  faithfully  for  their  good.  Then, 
in  blessing  shall  we  be  blest." 

^'- April  l\th. — Yesterday  and  day  before  I  was  not  well 
able  to  write  even  a  few  lines,  and  to-day  I  am  not  much  bet- 
ter. I  think  my  disease  is  rapidly  progressing.  Although 
I  have  been  much  better,  in  many  respects,  through  the  win- 
ter, and  my  friends  have  talked  to  me  of  recovery,  I  have 
never  had  cause,  for  one  moment,  to  anticipate  it,  neither 
have  I,  for  one  moment,  desired  it.  All  my  wish  is  to  do  and 
suifer  the  will  of  God,  and  when  I  shall  have  done  this,  to  be 
admitted  into  the  gates  of  the  New  Jerusalem,  through  the 
merits  of  my  Redeemer.  I  sometimes  think  I  shall  have  to 
endure  much  suffering  ere  I  am  prepared  for  heaven ;  but  it 
docs  not  require  long  for  the  blood  of  Christ  to  wash  away  all 
sin,  and  this  I  desire  to  make  my  sole  dependence. 

^^ April  ISth. — I  have  been  quite  low  in  my  mind  on  account 
of  wandering  thoughts,  and  the  sinfulness  of  my  heart.  I  do 
earnestly  desire  that  this  solemn  week  shall  be  peculiarly 
blessed  to  me ;  that  there  may  be  a  revival  of  religion  in  my 
soul,  for  much  do  I  need  it.  I  anticipate  the  coming  Sab- 
bath with  interest  and  pleasure.  If  I  be  permitted  to  draw 
near  the  table  of  the  Lord,  may  I  do  it  with  humility  and 
faith.  May  I  be  humbled  in  the'dust,  and  yet  my  whole  soul 
be  filled  with  joy  and  peace  in  believing  in  my  dear  Re- 
deemer, whom  I  long  to  know  and  love  with  my  whole 
heart. 

"  Oh  that  I  were  more  thankful  for  the  blessing  of  so  dear 
and  kind  a  mother  !  She  is  the  best  of  earthly  gifts.  Why 
do  I  not  pray  more  for  my  dear  mother,  and  why  do  I  not 
strive  more  to  discharge  towards  her  the  duties  incumbent 
upon  a  Christian  daughter.  Lord,  let  Thy  grace  be  suffi- 
cient for  me,  and  Thy  strength  be  made  perfect  in  my  weak- 
ness, for  Jesus'  sake.     Oh,  I  do  wish  that  a  deep  work  of 


1835.]  RURAL    MEDITATIONS.  135 

grace  "were  wrought  in  my  heart.  I  know  so  little,  yet  am 
not  humble.  Lord,  be  merciful  to  me,  a  very  great  sinner, 
and  grant  me  unfeigned  repentance  and  true  faith. 

'■'•Sunday  evening. — I  felt  prayerful  this  morning,  and  was 
watchful.  I  went  to  church  in  a  very  serious  and  prayerful 
spirit,  and  was  much  affected  almost  all  the  time.  I  felt  par- 
ticularly glad  that  I  was  about  to  partake  of  the  Communion, 
for  I  much  needed  spiritual  refreshment.  It  was  granted  me. 
I  do  not  know  if  I  ever  before  have  found  that  ordinance  so 
profitable.  The  services  of  the  week  have  been  blessed  to  me. 
I  have  never  before  felt  so  sensibly  the  great  propriety  of  the 
arrangements  of  my  own  dear  church. 

^^Temora,  May  IStJt. — '0  Lord,  how  manifold  are  Thy 
works,  in  wisdom  hast  Thou  made  th'em  all.'  The  sun  has 
just  given  us  his  farewell  glance,  the  air  is  full  of  balmy 
sweets,  the  birds  are  singing  in  the  trees,  the  insects  swelling 
the  chorus  with  their  fainter  melody.  The  grass  is  green, 
the  wild  flowers  springing  up  beneath  our  feet,  the  trees 
bursting  forth  into  beauty,  and  all  creation  uniting  in  one 
glad  song  of  praise  to  the  Author  of  good.  I  too  would  lift 
my  heart  in  thankfulness,  and  while  I  bless  my  Heavenly 
Father  for  the  gifts  of  His  goodness,  I  would  praise  Him  most 
of  all  '  for  His  inestimable  love  in  the  redemption  of  the  world 
by  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  for  the  means  of  grace,  and  for  the 
hope  of  glory.'  I  would  adore  Him  for  His  goodness  to  the 
moral  world ;  for  the  work  of  regeneration,  by  which  the  soil 
of  man's  heart,  producing  in  its  native  state  but  weeds  and 
briars,  with  here  and  there  a  wild  flower,  fair  to  the  eye,  but 
destitute  of  fragrance,  is  made  to  rejoice  and  blossom  as  the 
rose.  And  I  would  earnestly  and  constantly  pray  that  the 
work  of  holiness  may  be  perfected  in  my  heart,  that  I  may 
abundantly  bring  forth  fruit  to  the  glory  of  the  Lord,  and  that 
I  may  be  the  instrument  of  scattering  seed  in  many  hearts, 
which,  in  due  time,  may  become  'trees  of  righteousness.' 

"21s^. — Have  just  been  reading  and  praying  over  the 


136  GRATITUDE     FOR     GUIDANCE.  [1835. 

questions  my  dear  Pastor  gave  me  before  I  joined  the  cliurch, 
and  my  answers  to  them  —  and  my  heart  is  melted  within 
mo.  Oh,  how  merciful  has  the  Lord  been  to  me  !  He  has 
led  me  by  a  way  that  I  knew  not.  He  has  made  me  to  grow 
in  grace,  and  in  the  knowledge  of  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ; 
and  I  do  earnestly  desire  to  be  grateful  for  His  loving  kind- 
ness. Nothing  but  His  infinite  power  and  love  could  have 
preserved  me  from  the  thousand  snares  of  the  enemy  of  my 
soul.  And  is  my  heart  glowing  with  love  to  my  blessed  Re- 
deemer, and  to  the  Holy  Spirit  ?  Oh,  it  is  cold  and  ungrate- 
ful !  Lord,  be  merciful  to  me,  a  sinner ;  and  as  Thou  hast 
long  borne  with  me,  leave  me  not,  neither  forsake  me.  As 
Thou  hast  been  pleased  to  draw  me  to  Thyself,  notwithstand- 
ing my  obstinate  rebellion,  and  to  make  me  hunger  and  thirst 
after  the  righteousness  that  once  I  did  not  desire,  now  that 
it  is  my  supreme  wish  to  love  and  serve  Thee,  be  pleased  to 
water  my  soul  with  the  healthful  showers  of  Thy  grace,  to  fill 
my  heart  with  love,  with  every  Christian  grace.  Do  with  me 
as  thou  wilt,  send  me  afiiiction  of  any  kind  that  I  need,  only 
perfect  the  work  of  grace  in  my  heart,  make  me  a  blessing 
to  the  souls  of  others,  and  let  Thy  glory  be  the  end  of  my 
existence,  for  the  sake  of  my  crucified  Saviour,  who  ever  liveth 
to  make  intercession  for  me.  Oh,  give  me  simple  faith  in  His 
merits,  let  me  see  Thy  glory  shining  in  His  face. 

'  In  my  hand  no  price  I  bring, 
Simply  to  thy  cross  I  cling, 
Dear  Jesus.' 

"  Sunday  was  a  happy  day,  in  many  respects,  though  I 
have  great  difficulty  to  avoid  foolish  talking.  I  did  in  some 
degree  indulge  in  it,  and  in  idle  thoughts,  but  I  trust  that  in 
this  thing  I  am  more  conscientious.  How  often  do  I  long  for 
that  blessed  place  where  there  will  be  no  temptation  to  sin ! 
Enjoyed  my  twilight  devotions,  felt  great  love  for  the  souls 

of  the  servants  at  Aunt 's,  and  wished  to  read  to  them, 

but  was  afraid  of  being  thought  righteous  over  much.     I 


1835.]  TEMORA.  137 

prayed  that  if  it  were  right,  I  might  have  an  opportunity. 
To  my  great  joy,  Diana  asked  me  to  come  out,  and  Aunt  had 
them  in  the  dining-room,  and  sat  with  me  while  I  read  and 
talked  to  them." 

To  her  Nephew. 

"Temora,  May  28,  1835. 

"I  have  often  thought,  dear  W.,  how  much  I  should  love  to  have 
thee  with  me.  What  pleasant  times  we  would  have  in  the  woodS; 
listening  to  the  music  of  the  birds^  gathering  flowers,  and  looking 
at  the  beauties  of  nature.  But  this  is  not  the  greatest  happiness  we 
should  enjoy  together;  I  would  read  the  Bible  to  thee,  and  tell  thee 
of  a  Saviour's  love,  and  I  would  every  day  pray  for  thee,  and  with 
thee ;  for  one  of  my  warmest  desires  is,  that  my  darling  boy  shall 
'  remember  his  Creator  in  the  days  of  his  youth.'  And  it  gives  mo 
much  pain  when  I  discover  in  thee  any  sinful  or  unamiable  feelings, 
for  I  know  that  the  eye  of  God  is  on  thee  all  the  time,  and  that  He 
is  displeased  whenever  thee  does  wrong.  I  know  that  thee  often 
prays,  and  I  hope  thee  will  not  forget  to  do  so  at  night,  in  the  morn- 
ing, and  through  the  day.  It  will  make  thee  a  happier  and  a  better 
boy.  Thee  remembers  the  history  of  Samuel,  and  that  when  he  was 
a  little  boy,  the  Lord  called  him,  and  he  answered,  '  Speak,  Lord, 
for  thy  servant  heareth.'  Now,  although  thee  cannot  hear  the  voice 
of  God,  He  is  constantly  speaking"  to  thee,  dear  Willie,  by  His  Holy 
Spirit,  and  I  hope  thee  will  always  listen,  and  say  in  Thy  heart, 
*  Speak,  Lord,  for  thy  servant  heareth.'     *     *     *     * 

"Does  thee  not  think  the  country  much  more  delightfulthan  the 
city  ?  I  do.  But  it  is  of  little  consequence,  dear  W.,  whether  we 
live  in  the  city  or  country  during  the  short  time  we  live  in  this 
world,  so  that  we  give  our  hearts  to  our  Heavenly  Father  and  do 
His  will.  Thee  must  pray,  my  dear  boy,  for  thy  Aunt  Sue,  and 
she  will  pray  for  thee,  and  I  trust  it  will  not  be  a  great  while  before 
we  shall  meet  in  that  blessed  place  where,  we  are  told  in  the  Bible, 
that  God  shall  wipe  away  all  tears  from  the  eyes  of  his  children ; 
'  and  there  shall  be  no  more  death,  neither  sorrow,  nor  crying,  nei- 
ther shall  there  be  any  more  pain.'  We  have  both  suifered  a  great 
deal  of  pain,  my  darling  W.,  and  we  shall  be  very  glad  to  escape 
from  it  for  ever;  but  thee  knows  we  cannot  hope  to  do  so  unless  we 
are  washed  in  the  Saviour's  blood;  unless  our  hearts  are  purified  by 
the  influences  of  the  Holy  Spirit;  unless  we  love  our  Heavenly  Fa- 
ther with  our  whole  hearts,  and  our  neighbor  as  ourselves.     I  should 

12  * 


138  LETTER    TO    HER    MOTHER.  [1835. 

be  very  glad  to  receive  an  answer  to  this  letter.     And  now,  my  be- 
loved W.,  I  must  bid  thee  farewell." 

To  her  Mother. 

"Saturday  Morning. 

"  I  would  first  offer  to  heaven,  my  dear  mother,  the  fervent  aspi- 
rations of  a  grateful  heart  for  the  inestimable  blessing  of  a  parent  so 
dear,  so  kind,  so  worthy  to  be  loved;  and  then  to  thee  I  would  ten- 
der an  expression  of  thankfulness  for  the  unceasing  watchfulness 
which  has  been  extended  since  my  earliest  infancy;  for  the  bright 
smile  which  has  ever  shed  its  radiance  upon  my  heart,  and  dissipated 
the  mists  of  fancied  care.  I  would  humbly  offer  to  my  Father  in 
heaven  a  fervent  supplication  that  he  will  henceforth  enable  me  to 
perform,  agreeably  to  His  will,  every  duty  incumbent  upon  an  affec- 
tionate child,  and  a  devotfed  Christian. 

*' '  His  goodness  and  mercy  have  followed  us  all  the  days  of  our 
lives,'  and  the  only  service  He  requires  in  return  is  the  grateful 
homage  of  our  hearts  ;  the  consecration  of  our  lives  to  His  service. 
Truly,  'a  reasonable  service.'  And  now,  on  this,  thy  natal  day, 
while  our  hearts  are  glowing  with  gratitude,  and  with  love,  let  us 
mingle  our  prayers  to  our  Maker  that  He  will  unite  our  hearts  to 
fear  His  name;  that,  in  all  time  of  our  prosperity,  in  all  time  of 
tribulation,  He  will  be  with  us,  bless,  and  keep  us.'' 

Message  to , 


"  Sister  Sue  says  she  has  great  sympathy  for  you,  and  hopes  you 
will  be  enabled  to  rest  with  entire  confidence  upon  the  finished  work 
of  a  Redeemer.  He  is  just  such  a  Saviour  as  suits  the  necessities 
of  the  sinner  and  the  sufferer.  She 'says  the  last  two  verses  of  the 
4th  of  Hebrews  have  been  a  great  comfort  to  her,  and  the  eleventh 
verse  of  the  first  chapter  of  Colossians.'^ 

^'- Saturday^  June  2Qth.  —  Have  been  looking  over  Kirk 

White's  Life.     How  much  I  love  it !     I  wish would 

read  it.  He  says,  '  The  excellence  of  our  Liturgy,  and 
our  Church,  is  more  and  more  impressed  upon  my  mind. 
How  admirably  do  her  confessions,  her  intercessions,  her 
praises  suit  the  case  of  the  Christian !'  To  the  expression  of 
this  opinion  my  heart  truly  responds," 

"22d,  Early  in  the  moming.  —  I  had  not  time  to  write 


1835.]  PATRIOTISM.  139 

yesterday.  I  like  to  be  particular  in  making  record  of  every 
Sabbath,  as  I  think  the  manner  in  which  this  blessed  day  is 
spent  is  a  good  test  of  growtli  or  declension  in  grace.  I  trust 
I  have  been  enabled  to  rememher  the  Sabbath  day  with  more 
profit  than  formerly ;  to  pray  more  during  the  week,  for  a 
blessing  upon  it,  which  is  of  great  importance,  and  to  be 
more  watchful.  I  have  certainly  enjoyed  the  last  few  Sun- 
days very  much,  and  feel  encouraged  to  press  toward  the 
mark  in  this  thing." 

"  JuJy  4th.  —  This  is  the  anniversary  of  my  country's 
independence.  How  thankful  I  wish  to  feel  that  I  am  an 
American !  I  do  dearly  love  my  country,  and  yet  I  pray 
very  little  for  her  spiritual  prosperity.  May  a  deeper  inte- 
rest in  it  be  implanted  in  my  heart. 

"  This  morning  I  was  very  happy.  The  weather  was 
charming  ;  the  birds  sang  gaily  ;  the  new-mown  hay  was  so 
fragrant,  and  all  around  so  enlivening.  My  spirits  were  so 
good  that  I  could  almost  literally  have  jumped  for  joy.  I 
could  unite  with  David's  songs  of  praise  :  felt  a  desire  to  love 
God  with  all  my  heart.  The  exuberance  of  my  spirits  quite 
overcame  my  poor,  weak  frame.  The  latter  part  of  the 
morning  felt  very  languid." 

"  6th.  — Woke  in  the  morning  in  a  prayerful  frame.  Went 
into  Newtown  to  church.  Enjoyed  it  much.  The  sermon 
was  solemn,  and  I  felt  as  if  I  could  almost  unite  my  entrea- 
ties with  those  of  the  preacher,  that  the  sinners  around  me 
would  come  to  Jesus.  Spent  great  part  of  the  afternoon  in 
prayer ;  drew  nearer  to  God  than  almost  ever  before,  and  re- 
newedly  consecrated  myself  to  his  service." 

"  16th.  —  Riding  this  afternoon,  I  felt  much  reproached 
that  I  have  labored  so  little  for  the  good  of  those  with  whom 
I  have  had  intercourse,  since  I  have  been  at  Temora.  I 
hope  I  shall  not  forget  to  pray  more  for  them  when  I  go 
away.  This  has  been  a  delightful  day.  We  talk  of  leaving 
to-morrow,  and  I  would  like  to  wander  to  the  banks  of  the 


140  CHRISTIAN    CONVERSATION.  [1835. 

Nosliamony,  but  do  not  feci  able.  I  was  far  from  well  this 
afternoon.  How  shall  I  endure  the  bustle  of  the  city  ?  I 
have  prayed,  and  must  continue  to  do  so,  for  '  grace  to  help 
in  time  of  need;'  for  grace  to  set  a  holy  and  consistent 
example,  and  to  live  nearer  to  my  Heavenly  Father  than  I 
have  ever  done. 

^'July  29tJi.  —  This  is  my  birthday.  A  retrospect  of  the 
past  year  aifords  me  much  cause  for  self-condemnation,  and 
I  do  desire  sincerely  to  repent  of  my  sins,  and  to  lead  a  new 
life.  Most  abundantly  have  the  love  and  forbearance  of  my 
Heavenly  Father  been  manifested  towards  me  during  this 
past  year.  I  feel  greater  confidence  than  ever  in  His  pro- 
tection, and  a  more  entire  assurance  that  all  things  work 
together  for  good  to  them  that  love  God,  and  yet  mi/  love  is 
very  cold.  Oh,  that  I  had  more  faith  in  Jesus  !  Come, 
Lord  Jesus,  come  quickly  into  my  unbelieving  heart. 

"  I  spent  two  or  three  days  last  week  with  my  dear  Mrs. 

J ,  and  enjoyed  them  much.     They  have  family  worship 

there,  —  an  inestimable  blessing  !  Had  many  SAveet  seasons 
of  prayer  while  there. 

"  I  am  becoming  weaker  and  weaker  since  my  return  home, 
and  suffer  more  than  before.  Yesterday,  was  not  all  day  in 
a  Christian  frame  of  mind — felt  peevish;  to-day  have  felt 
differently.     Oh,  how  much  sin  must  God  see  in  my  heart ! 

^' Aug.  1st.  —  This  morning  had  some  conversation  that 
was  truly  refreshing.  I  do  love  Christian  conversation.  I 
wish  Christians  would  talk  more  about  religion.  They  were 
telling  me  of  a  young  gentleman  who  was  converted  through 

Mr. 's  instrumentality.     He  had  been  preaching  a  very 

solemn  sermon,  and,  in  conclusion,  said  that  if  all  present 
would  spend  one  hour,  after  their  return  home,  in  serious 
reflection  upon  the  truths  that  had  been  urged  upon  them, 
he  did  not  doubt  that  they  would  be  fully  convinced  of  their 
importance.  This  youth  resolved  to  do  so,  instead  of  taking 
a  walk,  as  was  his  custom.     The  result  was  a  knowledge  of 


1835.]       SABBATH  PROFANATION.  141 

the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus.  I  would  not  exchange  the  feelings 
excited  in  my  heart  by  this  recital  for  any  thing  this  world 
can  give.  This  young  man  intends  studying  for  the  ministry. 
May  the  Lord  bless  and  keep  him,  and  make  him  the  instru- 
ment of  the  conversion  of  many. 

'•''Sunday  afternoon.  —  Have  just  returned  from  church  at 
Camden.  Met  many  persons  riding  and  walking,  merely  for 
pleasure.  We  see  much  more  of  the  profanation  of  the  Sab- 
bath in  the  country  than  in  the  city.  It  makes  my  heart 
heavy.  Oh,  my  beloved  country,  I  cannot  anticipate  pros- 
perity for  thee,  while  the  commands  of  Jehovah  are  thus  dis- 
regarded !  For  Jesus'  sake,  may  the  judgments  that  are 
hanging  over  our  heads  be  averted.  May  a  double  portion 
of  Thy  Spirit  be  given  to  every  Christian  ruler  and  magis- 
trate, and  may  those  who  are  themselves  in  the  bonds  of 
iniquity  be  converted,  and  made  the  instruments  of  enforcing 
the  laws  of  God.  0  that,  seeing  as  I  do,  every  Sabbath,  that 
the  people  forget  God,  my  own  heart  were  rendered  more 
obedient  to  His  holy  laws.  Oh,  my  Heavenly  Father,  I  do 
beseech  Thee  to  forgive  my  want  of  spirituality,  and  make 
me  to  worship  Thee  in  spirit  and  in  truth.  I  do  hate  sin, 
and  I  long  to  be  delivered  from  it.  Blessed  be  '  the  Lamb  of 
God  that  taketh  away  the  sins  of  the  world.'  Blessed  be  the 
Holy  Spirit  who  can  and  will  perfectly  sanctify  my  sinful 
heart.  Blessed  be  our  Heavenly  Father,  in  whom  are  the 
Son  and  the  Spirit. 

"  Had  a  long  season  of  devotion  after  tea.  Felt  a  little 
what  it  is  to  have  'the  Spirit  helping  our  infirmities, — • 
making  intercessions  for  me  with  groanings  wliich  cannot  be 
uttered.' 

"  l^th.  —  Had  a  conversation  with ,  in  which  I  very 

plainly  expressed  my  interest  in  his  welfare.  He  and  an- 
othei*  gentleman  attacked  the  doctrine  of  the  Trinity.  I  felt 
such  an  inexpressible  conviction  of  its  truth.  0  let  me  never 
doubt  it. 


142  ROMANISM.  [1835. 

"  23ti  —  Felt  sorrowful  in  spirit  this  afternoon,  —  oh,  why 
am  I  so  inconsistent?  I  am  weary  of  myself.  I  felt  as 
though  a  severe  lecture  from  some  Christian  friend  would  do 
me  good.  I  bless  my  Heavenly  Father  for  the  teachings  and 
reproofs  of  His  Holy  Spirit. 

"  Yesterday,  Bishop  Moore  preached  for  us  from  the  text, 
'lam  the  Resurrection  and  the  Life.'  How  beautiful  an 
example  of  Christianity  is  this  venerable  man  !  He  does, 
indeed,  endeavor  to  ^persuade  men.'  His  allusion  to  our 
departed  Pastor  much  affected  me,  and  his  approbation  of 
our  new  one  was  very  gratifying.  I  am  prepared  to  receive 
him  with  thankfulness. 

"25f^.  —  Have  just  returned  from  a  meeting  in  which  I 
was  much  interested.  Heard  some  remarks  on  the  subject 
of  Romanism  which  I  hope  will  exert  an  extensive  influence. 
The  increase  of  Roman  Catholic  doctrines  is  most  alarming. 
Thoughts  of  foreboding  come  over  my  mind  as  a  dark  cloud. 
I  do  not  know  that  I  ever  had  one  feeling  of  bitterness  on 
that  subject,  but  I  will,  as  far  as  in  me  lies,  I  trust,  exert  my 
influence  in  support  of  the  pure  doctrines  of  Christianity,  and 
I  pray  for  grace  to  fulfil  my  duty,  my  high  responsibility  as 
a  professor  of  God's  holy  name,  to  fight  manfully  against  all 
that  opposes  His  government.  I  know  I  have  never  dis- 
charged my  duty  towards  God  and  towards  my  fellow-crea- 
tures. Oh,  that  I  could  realize  the  value  of  an  immortal 
soul !  0  Lord,  by  any  process  Thou  shalt  please  to  select,  I 
beseech  Thee  to  show  me  my  duty,  and  enable  me  faithfully 
to  discharge  it.  Oh,  make  me  feel  how  much  Jesus  loves  the 
souls  of  men.  I  am  ashamed  of  myself.  I  do  not  deserve 
the  name  of  Christian.  Oh,  I  am  afraid  my  brother's  blood 
crieth  against  me.  '  Lord,  deliver  me  from  blood-guiltiness, 
and  my  tongue  shall  sing  of  Thy  righteousness.  Open  Thou 
my  lips,  and  my  mouth  shall  show  forth  Thy  praise.' 

"Last  Sunday,  Mr.  Clark  preached  for  us.  I  hope  I 
went  to  church  in  some  degree  prepared  for  its  solemn  ser- 


1835.]  THE    NEW    PASTOR.  143 

vices.  I  was  exceedingly  desirous  to  partake  of  the  Commu- 
nion. I  think  I  never  longed  for  this  ordinance  so  much. 
It  is  a  blessed  institution.  When  I  first  went  to  church,  I 
was  so  agitated  that  I  could  scarcely  restrain  my  feelings,  so 
severe  was  the  pain. 

"  I  prayed  much  for  our  Pastor,  and  sympathized  with  him 
in  his  situation  of  peculiar  trial.  His  sermon  was  solemn 
and  appropriate,  from  the  text,  '  Who  is  sufficient  for  these 
things  ?'  I  trust  that  his  urgent  request  that  his  people  will 
fervently  pray  for  him,  will  not  be  disregarded.  I  could  not 
bear  to  speak,  as  I  returned  home,  and  when  I  reached  my 
room,  poured  forth  my  feelings  before  the  Lord.  In  the 
evening,  Mr.  C.  preached  from  the  text,  '  I  am  determined 
to  know  nothing  among  you,  save  Jesus  Christ,  and  him  cru- 
cified.' I  rejoiced  in  the  sentiments  he  expressed,  and  my 
heart  was  very  light  as  I  walked  home  from  church,  with  the 
anticipation  of  the  good  which  will  accrue  to  our  Zion  from  a 
blessing  upon  his  labors. 

^'iSept.  14:th.  —  Yesterday  was  a  day  of  inestimable  privi- 
leges. Mr.  C.  preached  from  the  text,  '  Take  heed  how  ye 
hear," — one  of  the  most  eloquent  and  impressive  sermons  I 
have  heard'  this  long  time.  I  wish  I  could  be  as  thankful  for 
him  as  I  ought.  He  spoke  of  the  necessity  of  a  prepared 
heart  for  the  solemn  services  of  the  sanctuary,  and  of  the 
account  we  must  render  for  its  blessed  privileges.  I  do  not 
know  any  preacher  whose  sermons  leave  upon  my  mind  im- 
pressions of  so  solemn  a  nature.  I  feel  a  desire  to  be  entirely 
quiet  after  them,  and  to  commune  with  my  own  heart.  Oh, 
how  much  of  the  good  effect  of  sermons  is  lost  by  idle  con- 
versation in  returning  from  church  !  I  do  think  it  a  great 
sin.  Yesterday  I  felt  a  great  desire  to  press  towards  the 
mark ;  in  the  afternoon  I  suffered  so  much  that  my  thoughts 
were  rather  distracted,  but  I  listened  with  great  interest  to 
the  discourse  :  '  There  remaineth  a  rest  for  the  people  of  God.' 
Oh,  is  not  this  a  consolation  ? 


144  HIS    INSTITUTION.  [1835. 

^'24ith.  —  Yesterday  our  Pastor  was  instituted.  It  was  a 
most  solemn  and  interesting  occasion.  I  have  never  felt  so 
deeply  impressed  by  a  sense  of  the  sublimity  and  appro- 
priateness of  the  services  of  my  own  beloved  Church.  I  love 
it  better  and  better.  I  prayed  with  new  interest  for  a  bless- 
ing upon  our  sanctuary.  Oh,  how  desirable  it  is  that  those 
who  minister  at  the  altar,  should,  in  a  spiritual  sense,  live 
of  the  things  belonging  to  the  altar !  How  great  is  their 
responsibility !  It  grieves  me  that  they  do  not  all  realize  it. 
I  was  glad  to  have  an  opportunity  of  partaking  of  the  Holy 
Communion.  I  was  very  prayerful,  and  never  was  so  much 
affected  after  its  reception.  I  could  not  help  weeping  as  I 
returned  home.  I  felt  more  love  for  souls.  I  shall  look 
back  upon  yesterday  with  thankfulness.  Oh,  that  a  new  song 
of  praise  were  put  into  my  mouth !  I  have  ample  cause  for 
gratitude,  and  yet  ingratitude  is  my  greatest  sin. 

"Oc^.  Sd.  —  I  have  been  more  than  ever  impressed,  lately, 
by  the  thought  that  one  sin  would  be  sufficient  to  exclude  us 
from  Heaven,  were  it  not  for  the  righteousness  of  Christ, — 
one  unholy  word  or  thought !  Oh,  then,  how  dear  ought  His 
mediation  to  be  to  us  !  I  make  so  many  trifling  remarks,  and 
am  so  ready  to  be  amused  by  any  nonsense.     How  strange 

it  is! 

'  Oh,  for  a  closer  walk  with  God, 
A  calm  and  heavenly  frame.' 

0  God,  make  me  humble  —  make  me  to  feel  my  vileness  and 
nothingness,  and  my  Saviour's  all-sufficiency. 

«'9^7i.^_  Continue  to  pass  much  of  my  time  delightfully. 
We  have  had  very  little  company,  and  I  am  able  to  spend 
much  time  alone,  and  in  the  society  of  my  dear  cousins.  I 
particularly  enjoy  talking  on  the  things  of  eternity  with 
cousin  P.  A.  My  heart  warms  with  a  desire  to  know  more 
of  God,  while  we  are  conversing,  and  I  find  the  practice  of 
praying  with  K.  profitable.  Oh,  what  a  privilege  Christian 
intercourse  is  !      Incline  unto  me,  0  my  Heavenly  Father, 


1835.]  ST.  Andrew's.  145 

those  who  fear  Thee,  and  have  known  Thy  testimonies,  and 
put  it  into  their  hearts  to  deal  faithfully  with  me. 

^^Oct.  25th.  —  I  was  much  interrupted  in  my  season  of 
prayer.  I  must  not,  I  will  not,  forget  or  neglect  my  hours 
of  retirement.  Any  thing  else  must  suffer  in  preference,  for 
my  soul  will  not  prosper  without  them.  I  cannot  else  be 
patient,  prayerful,  or  useful,  or  any  thing  else  that  I  ought 
to  be. 

^'■Sunday  evening. — I  have  enjoyed  this  day  inestimable 
privileges.  This  morning,  was  prayerful  and  watchful. 
Loaned  '  Wilberforce's  View,'  with  many  prayers  for  a  bless- 
ing on  its  perusal.  Was  very  early  at  church,  and  prayed 
earnestly.  During  the  service,  was  much  affected.  Oh,  that 
I  were  always  alive  to  the  solemnity  of  our  Liturgy !  The 
sermon  was  short,  but  very  solemn,  and  I  felt  it  deeply.  As 
the  congregation  retired,  I  craved  a  blessing  for  them,  and 
for  us  who  remained  behind  to  partake  of  the  emblems  of  the 
broken  body  and  shed  blood  of  our  Redeemer.  I  felt  that  I 
had  been  very  inconsistent  and  ungrateful,  and  only  deserved 
the  anger  of  God,  but  was  not  afraid  to  trust  in  Jesus,  who 
is  my  only  hope.  Oh !  what  they  lose,  who  disregard  the 
injunction,  '  Do  this  in  remembrance  of  me.'     I  feel  great 

love  for .     We  knelt  together  at  the  chancel, —  oh,  may 

we  stand  together  at  the  right  hand  of  the  Judge  !  This 
evening,  was  at  church  again,  —  prayed  much  for  the  multi- 
tude by  whom  I  was  surrounded.  The  text  was,  '  What 
meanest  thou,  0  Sleeper?  arise,  and  call  upon  thy  God.' 
The  sermon  was  all  that  could  be  desired.  I  have  not  before 
had  such  feelings  towards  our  Pastor  as  now.  Since  last 
evening,  I  really  feel  an  overflowing  of  love  towards  him.  I 
hope  I  shall  pray  for  him  with  renewed  interest.  0  Lord, 
let  not  the  foot  of  pride  come  nigh  to  hurt  him ;  and  forbid 
that  he  should  glory,  save  in  the  cross  of  our  Lord  Jesus 
Christ. 

"  Now  I  must  retire.  I  do  hope  to  live  nearer  to  God,  in 
K  13 


146  HOUSE    OF    REFUGE.  [1835. 

future.  I  have,  within  the  past  week,  been  unusually  un- 
faithful. Oh,  may  God  7ioiv,  before  I  have  committed  greater 
sins,  and  grieved  his  Holy  Spirit  more,  draw  me  to  himself. 
I  hope  He  will  make  me  humble.  I  do  want  to  love  and 
serve  him.  I  am  glad  that  His  eye  is  upon  me,  sinful  as  I 
am,  for  He  will  search  and  try  me,  remove  every  evil  way 
from  me,  and  lead  me  in  the  way  everlasting.  He  has  loved 
me  with  an  everlasting  love,  therefore  with  loving-kindness 
has  He  drawn  me.  I  have  gone  astray  like  a  lost  sheep. 
Seek  thy  servant,  for  I  do  not  forget  thy  commandments. 

"iVby.  IdtJi.  —  Sunday  evening.  —  Felt  the  sermon  very 
deeply,  and  desired  to  praise  God.  The  text  was,  '  I  will 
give  you  rest,'  and  was  most  consoling  to  my  spirit.  I  could 
believe  that  rest  is  mine,  that  I  have  already  experienced  it 
in  a  great  degree,  and  that  there  is  for  me  '  Rest  enduring, 
rest  in  heaven.'  When  our  Pastor  spoke  of  the  happiness 
the  believer  derives  from  the  knowledge  that  God  is  his 
friend,  that  He  controls  all  the  events  of  his  life,  and  will 
make  all  things  work  together  for  his  good,  I  could  cordially 
assent  to  the  truth  of  all  he  said.  I  know  that  I  am  under 
the  continual  guardianship  of  my  Father  in  heaven  —  that, 
notwithstanding  all  my  ingratitude  and  disobedience,  the 
wing  of  His  protection  ever  overshadows  me.  When  I  re- 
turned home,  I  again  sought  the  mercy  of  my  Redeemer. 

"  I  do  not  wish  to  forget  that  visit  to  the  House  of  Refuge. 
My  heart  yearned  over  those  wretched  beings,  and  was 
filled  with  prayer  for  them.  The  girls  sang  together  the 
Orphan's  Hymn.  I  was  quite  overcome  by  my  feelings,  and 
I  observed  that  several  of  them  wept.  I  could  scarcely  refrain 
from  telling  them  of  the  Lamb  of  God,  that  taketh  away  the 
sins  of  the  world. 

'■'■Nov.  21  til.  — Last  Saturday  evening  we  had  a  most  solemn 
prayer-meeting.  I  do  not  know  when  I  have  felt  so  deeply. 
Sunday  Avas  a  stormy  day,  the  first,  for  a  long  time,  that  I 
have  spent  at  home.     I  knew  I  should  be  exposed  to  the 


1835.]  TENDERNESS    OF    CONSCIENCE.  147 

temptation  of  speaking  my  own  words,  and  thinking  my  own 
thoughts ;  and  fervently  implored  strength  to  resist  it.  I 
found  it  very  difficult  to  spend  the  day  profitably ;  but  did 
try,  though  I  was  not  as  watchful  as  I  ought  to  have  been. 
In  the  afternoon came,  and  we  had  some  serious  conver- 
sation.    I  read  to  her  a  little  while  in  my  dear  Bridges. 

"  I  have  missed  my  usual  Sabbath  privileges  all  the  week 
long.  On  Wednesday  evening  the  lecture  was  even  more 
solemn  than  usual.  I  saw  a  great  many  young  girls  there, 
and  one  whom  I  have  never  met  in  the  lecture-room  before. 
I  have  for  a  long  time  made  her  a  subject  of  prayer,  and 
hope  I  shall  still  remember  her. 

"  I  misspend  my  time,  and  yet  I  hardly  know  how  to  ar- 
range it  as  I  ought,  for  I  am  exposed  to  such  constant  inter- 
ruption. Oh  for  wisdom  from  above,  for  good  judgment  and 
knowledge,  and  a  heart  full  of  love,  and  of  hungering  and 
thirsting  after  righteousness.  Any  affliction,  any  thing  rather 
than  the  loss  of  God's  approbation  —  any  thing  rather  than 
self-deception.  I  am  poor  and  needy,  and  I  do  come  to 
Jesus.  He  does  not  reject  me,  ungrateful  and  sinful  as  I 
am." 

To  a  Sister. 

Nov.  30th,  1835. 
"  Please  read  the  33d  chapter  of  Ezekiel  in  reference  to 
the  faithful  discharge  of  duty  towards  others.  Though  all  Christians 
are  not  set  as  '  watchmen  unto  the  house  of  Israel,'  still,  it  is  our 
duty  to  bear  witness  for  our  Saviour,  and  it  is  wrong  to  wait  until 
we  have  made  very  great  attainments  in  religion  before  we  endeavor 
to  persuade  others  to  walk  in  the  narrow  path.  Let  us  tell  them 
that  we  are  sensible  of  our  sins,  ignorances  and  infirmities,  but  our 
trust  is  in  Jesus,  and  we  desire  them  to  apply  to  the  same  blessed 
source  of  light  and  life.  Oh,  it  is  a  fearful  thing  to  know  that  those 
who  are  all  around  us,  many  of  whom  are  endeared  by  the  most  ten- 
der ties,  are  on  their  way  to  everlasting  punishment,  and  to  make 
no  effort  to  persuade  them  to  accept  the  offers  of  salvation  !  What 
happiness  would  it  be  to  be  made  the  means  of  saving  one  immortal 
soul !  We  ought  to  take  heed  concerning  this  thing,  and  make  it  a 
subject  of  constant  prayer." 


148  TRUE    PEACE.  [1835. 

"Dec.  2d.  — We  have  had,  this  evening,  a  heart-searching 
lecture  from  the  text,  '  Come  and  let  us  walk  in  the  light  of 
the  Lord.'  I  took  several  of  my  friends  with  me,  and  they 
detained  me  so  late,  that  the  service  was  nearly  over  when 
we  reached  the  church.  This  was  a  great  trial  to  me.  Mr. 
C.  desired  that  we  would  renewedly  consecrate  ourselves  to 
the  service  of  our  Heavenly  Father,  on  the  approaching  com- 
memoration of  the  death  and  sufferings  of  our  Saviour,  and  I 
did  it  while  he  was  speaking.  I  resolved  that  in  the  strength 
of  the  Lord  I  would  go  forward.  I  prayed  much  for  those 
who  were  with  me. 

"  I  feel  in  a  prayerful  frame.  If  I  live  another  day,  I 
hope  I  shall  live  nearer  to  God.  I  do  not  always  realize  His 
presence.  I  do  not  always  live  for  eternity.  I  am  so  drawn 
away  by  the  things  that  surround  me.  Oh,  that  my  mind 
were  so  fixed  upon  God,  that  no  conversation,  no  interruption 
whatever  could  interfere  with  my  communion  with  Him.  I 
lack  wisdom,  and  this  night  I  will  ask  it  of  God.  And  He 
will  give  liberally.     I  will  ask  in  faith. 

''^Sunday,  Dec.  \?>th.  —  I  heard  a  sermon  this  morning 
which  caused  such  excitement  of  feeling  that  I  am  quite 
weak.  It  was  from  our  beloved  Pastor,  whom  God  does  in- 
deed bless  in  an  eminent  degree,  and  whom  I  bless  with  all 
my  heart,  in  the  name  of  the  Lord.  '  He  that  being  often 
reproved  hardeneth  his  neck,  shall  suddenly  be  destroyed, 
and  that  Avithout  remedy.'  During  the  sermon  my  heart  was 
lifted  up  in  an  agony  of  prayer  for  perishing  sinners.  I 
trembled  lest  this  warning  should  fall  unheeded  on  their  ears. 
I  asked  God  to  grant  that  none  of  my  family  might  be  de- 
stroyed without  remedy.  0  may  I  be  more  faithful  in  future. 
I  bless  God  for  the  feelings  he  has  given  me  this  day. 

^''Sunday  evening.  —  Am  about  to  retire,  in  the  possession 
of  the  peace  of  God  which  passeth  understanding.  I  have 
passed  a  very  happy  evening,  most  of  it  alone  in  my  room. 
0  that  my  heart  were  full  of  love  to  God  !  Have  I  not  more 
cause  than  any  one  else  to  love  Him  ? 


1835.]  CHRISTMAS.  149 

'  Till  I  can  praise  Thee  as  I  should, 
Accept  my  heart's  desire/ 

'•'■Dec.  2Qt]i.  —  I  have  passed  a  very  liappy  Christmas,  and 
am  thankful  that  I  have  been  taught  by  the  Holy  Spirit  that 
this  day  is  not  to  be  devoted  to  levity,  but  consecrated  to  the 
Lord.  I  awoke,  yesterday,  with  thankful  feelings.  I  enjoyed 
the  service,  sermon  and  communion  very  much,  and  was  fa- 
vored with  peaceful  and  prayerful  feelings.  I  desired,  when 
I  knelt  at  the  chancel,  to  thank  my  Heavenly  Father  that 
He  had  thus  far  guided  me  in  the  way  everlasting. 

"  I  had  a  long  talk  with  one  who  is  truly  in  nature's  dark- 
ness, and  who  considers  the  light  of  reason  bright  enough  to 
illumine  his  pathway  to  eternity.  I  felt  my  weakness,  and 
did  not  attempt  to  argue  in  my  own  strength,  but  constantly 
lifted  up  my  heart  to  God.  I  gave  him  a  little  Testament, 
and  he  has  promised  to  read  it  sometimes,  but  says  he  has 
not  time  to  do  so  every  day. 

"  28^/i.  —  Sunday  evening.  —  I  think  the  institution  of  the 
Sabbath  is  one  of  the  greatest  blessings  God  has  ever  be- 
stowed upon  man,  and  I  am  thankful  that  He  enables  me, 
in  some  manner,  to  appreciate  it.  Last  evening  was  spent 
in  preparation  for  this  day. 

"The  Liturgy  seemed  unusually  impressive  this  morning; 
it  has  really  been  a  blessing  to  my  soul.  I  well  remember 
when  I  first  began  to  enjoy  it.  The  sermon  was  solemn,  and 
I  felt  a  little  of  the  value  of  souls.  I  am  glad  to  find  that  I 
am  not  so  selfish  in  respect  to  sermons  as  when  I  first  became 
deeply  interested  in  religion.  I  felt  disappointed,  then,  if 
the  sermon  did  not  refer  to  my  own  case ;  but  now  my  atten- 
tion is  directed  to  others,  more  than  it  once  was. 

"  This  afternoon  my  mind  did  not  seem  stayed  upon  God 
all  the  time  —  it  Avas  not  fixed  enough.  I  felt  so  happy  and 
contented,  that  I  am  afraid  I  was  too  well  satisfied  with  my 
feelings,  and  was  not  watchful.  I  had  a  comforta.ble  season 
of  prayer  when  I  returned  homo,  and  enjoyed  the  Bible; 

13* 


150  SEKENITY    OF    MIND.  [1836. 

then  read  and  talked  to  the  servants.  May  my  Heavenly 
Father  bless  the  further  duties  of  this  evening,  and  watch 
over  me  through  the  darkness  of  the  night,  for  my  Sa- 
viour's sake !" 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

1836. 

Serenity  in  Prospect  of  Death  —  New-Year  Thoughts  —  Prayer  for 
Guidance  in  Efforts  for  the  Good  of  Others — Domestic  Enjoyment  — 
Letter  to  a  Unitarian  —  Letter  to  a  Sister  on  Baptism  —  Visit  to 
Princeton  —  Letter  to  a  Sister  commencing  a  Christian  Life  —  Visit 
to  Cape  May  —  Letters  of  Dr.  Clark  —  Temora  —  Letter  on  Christian 
Activity. 

"  Oh,  how  soul-satisfying  are  the  consolations  of  the  Chris- 
tian !"  Such  was  the  dictate  of  Miss  Allibone's  full  heart, 
inscribed  in  her  Diary  for  1836.  And  Avhere  shall  we  find 
a  more  apt  and  beautiful  illustration  of  this  truth  than  in 
herself!  "As  the  sufferings  of  Christ  abounded  in  her,  so 
her  consolation  also  abounded  by  Christ."  Her  Diary  for 
this  year  expresses  repeatedly  the  conviction  that  the  last 
enemy  would  soon  triumph  in  the  dissolution  of  her  frail  and 
tottering  earthly  tabernacle.  So  strong  and  constant  was 
this  impression,  that  she  might  indeed  be  said  to  "die  daily." 
She  lived  consciously  upon  the  borders  of  eternity,  and  the 
ever-present  thought  solemnized  and  elevated,  but  in  no  de- 
gree saddened  her  soul.  Sustaining  faith  was  the  precious 
gift  of  the  Lord  to  his  obedient  child.  Hence  she  was  "  chas- 
tened, but  not  killed  —  sorrowful,  yet  always  rejoicing." 

The  record  of  1836  discovers  the  same  sweet  submission  to 
her  Father's  will,  the  same  unwavering  conviction  that  the 
Lord  Avas  the  portion  of  her  soul,  the  same  exulting  delight 
in  the  God  of  her  salvation.     During  this  period  she  was  still 


1836.]  N  E  w-y  EAR.  151 

permitted,  although  in  much  weakness,  to  visit  the  sanctuary, 
and  dearlj  prized  and  faithfully  improved  was  the  privilege. 
From  the  enjoyment  and  edification  which  she  derived  from 
the  public  means  of  grace,  we  can  more  fitly  estimate  the  re- 
signation that  consented,  without  a  murmur,  to  being  after- 
wards entirely  shut  out  from  them.  How  much  she  herself 
loved  the  ways  of  Zion,  how  anxious  she  was  to  bring  others 
to  participate  in  these,  her  choicest  pleasures,  almost  every 
page  of  this  year's  record  bears  witness. 

'■^January  1st,  1836.  —  '  Goodness  and  mercy  have  followed 
me  all  the  days  of  my  life,  and  I  will  dwell  in  the  house  of  the 
Lord  forever.'  This  has  been  a  very  happy  New-Year.  I 
endeavored,  yesterday,  to  reflect  seriously  upon  the  past,  and 
to  implore  grace  to  help  in  time  to  come. 

"  8i^/i. — Wrote  a  letter  of  warning  to  a  dear  friend,  with 
many  tears.  Oh,  may  I  be  more  faithful  in  future,  and  may 
all  the  sinful  reserve  that  prevents  me  from  discharging  my 
duty  be  forever  removed.  If  I  could  only  realize  the  value 
of  souls,  I  should  act  very  difierently. 

"  Sunday  morning.  —  I  hope  my  hard  heart  has  received 
a  new  impulse.  I  have  been,  sometimes,  very  cold  lately  — 
have  done  those  things  which  I  ought  not  to  have  done,  and 
left  undone  those  things  which  I  ought  to  have  done.  I  have 
been  humbled,  too  —  have  been  told  that  I  want  tact,  and 
that  I  am  too  zealous  in  my  efibrts  to  do  good.  Oh,  how 
hard  it  is  to  be  afraid  to  speak  to  those  whom  you  desire  to 
warn  to  flee  from  the  wrath  to  come,  whom  you  would  per- 
suade to  accept  the  ofi'ers  of  salvation  !  0,  my  Heavenly 
Father,  wilt  Thou  teach  me  my  duty  in  this  respect?  Take 
away  the  fear  of  man  from  my  heart,  and  all  sinful  reserve. 
Make  me  wise  as  a  serpent,  and  harmless  as  a  dove.  Let 
me  not  injure  Thy  cause  by  indiscretion,  nor  prevent  others 
from  coming  to  Thee  by  any  unnecessary  strictness,  but 
grant,  in  Thine  infinite  mercy,  that  levity  may  never  expel 
seriousness  from   my  heart  or   my  countenance.     Since    I 


152  EFFORTS     FOR     CHILDREN.  [1836. 

came  homo,  I  have  boon  praying  and  shedding  many  tears. 
I  want  unfeigned  repentance  and  true  faith.  '  Oh  for  a 
closer  walk  with  God  !'  In  the  strength  of  Jesus,  I  wall  press 
towards  the  mark. 

"  I  am  more  and  more  sensible  that  the  influence  of  religion 
is  absolutely  requisite  to  ensure  domestic  happiness.  We 
need  its  restraining  power  and  influence  in  our  every-day  in- 
tercourse, and  we  cannot  be  happy,  even  in  this  world,  with- 
out it.  May  this  conviction  lead  me  to  implore  more  ear- 
nestly the  blessed  influence  of  the  Holy  Spirit." 

To  Miss  E.  K 

"Jan.  31,  1836. 
'"Lord,  with  glowing  heart  I'd  praise  Thee, 
For  the  bliss  Thy  love  bestows, 
For  the  pard'ning  grace  that  saves  me, 
And  the  peace  which  from  it  flows.' 

"  Dear  E.,  we  are  commanded  to  rejoice  in  the  Lord  always,  and 
why  do  we  not?  Is  it  because  we  are  so  sinful  that  we  o^ight  not 
to  be  happy  ?  No  ;  it  is  because  we  are  so  sinful  that  we  will  not. 
We  are  so  unbelieving  that  we  refuse  to  accept  as  ours  the  peace 
and  joy  which  are  provided  for  us  in  Christ  Jesus.  Let  us  both, 
my  dear  friend,  strive  to  have  brighter  views  of  our  blessed  Saviour. 
Let  us  think  much  of  all  that  He  has  done  for  our  sinful  world,  and 
for  our  own  souls,  and  then  we  shall  love  Him  better. 

"  I  was  thinkidg  this  morning  of  the  vast  capability  of  usefulness 
thee  possesses  in  thy  intercourse  with  "the  immortal  beings  by  whom 
thee  is  surrounded.  Thee  can,  and  I  doubt  not  does,  seek  to  im- 
press upon  the  minds  of  the  children  who  are  frequently  NYith  you, 
the  importance  of  eternal  things.  I  think  this  is  a  most  important 
and  delightful  way  of  doing  good.  In  striving  to  influence  those 
whose  habits  are  fixed,  we  have  much  to  contend  with,  but  impres- 
sions upon  an  infant  mind  are  easily  formed,  and  usually  very  lasting. 
I  do  hope,  dear  E.,  that  thee  will  be  the  instrument  of  winning 
many  souls  to  Christ.  *  *  *  Soon  the  night  will  come.  Let 
us  labor  while  the  day  lasts,  and  let  us  always  endeavor  when  we 
enter  the  presence  of  others,  to  breathe  a  prayer  for  the  Divine 
blessing  upon  our  intercourse  with  them.  Oh,  how  useful  we  might 
be  !     I  want  to  be  stirred  up;  I  want  holy  zeal  for  the  welfare  of 


1836.J  DOMESTIC     ENJOYMENT.  153 

souls,  and  I  want  the  'wisdom  of  the  serpent  and  the  harmlessness 
of  the  dove/  so  that  I  may  be  a  blessing  wherever  I  go." 

"  Sunday  evening.  —  Spent  a  few  moments  in  dear  mo- 
ther's room.  I  do  not  believe  there  are  many  families  so 
happy  as  ours.  We  have  many  temporal,  and  many  spiritual 
blessings.  0,  that  we  may  be  induced,  by  the  mercies  of 
God,  to  consecrate  ourselves  to  Him !  I  am  astonished  at 
the  affection  my  friends  evince  towards  me.  Their  hearts 
seem  full  of  love  to  me.  I  would  give  God  all  the  glory.  I 
know  that  it  is  because  he  has  wrought  a  work  of  grace  in 
my  heart  that  their  affection  is  increased ;  and  I  desire  to 
be  very  humble,  and  to  remember  that  I  can,  of  mine  own 
self,  do  nothing  ;  and  to  watch  and  pray  against  temptation  ; 
to  set  a  holy  and  consistent  example,  and  to  use  all  my  in- 
fluence to  the  glory  of  my  Heavenly  Father.  May  the  time 
soon  come  when  we  will  all  be  united  by  the  bonds  of  faith. 
Until  that  time  may  I  pray,  believing,  and  then,  when  we 
shall  have  done  our  Father's  will  on  earth,  may  we  all  be 
gathered  into  'a  house  not  made  with  hands,  eternal  in  the 
heavens.'  0,  my  Heavenly  Father,  wilt  Thou  give  me  faith 
to  believe  that  Thou  wilt  grant  this,  for  Jesus'  sake,  amen  !" 

^'■Feb.  9th.  —  I  was  privileged  to  partake  of  the  holy  Com- 
munion with  dear .     I  found  it  very  profitable  to  draw 

near  the  table  of  the  Lord.     I  always  anticipate  this  season, 
and  have  never  failed  to  derive  spiritual  refreshment  from  it.  • 
How  strange,  how  inexcusable,  that  any  should  undervalue 
this  blessed  ordinance  !     My  heart  was  lifted  up  in  prayer 
as  I  returned  home." 

"/'eJ.  14:th.  —  I  felt  humbled  while  hearing  a  friend  speak 
very  unkindly  of  an  absent  person.  I  saw  that  such  feelings 
are  sinful  in  the  sight  of  God,  and  while  I  desire  to  be  thank- 
ful that  I  am  not  very  prone  to  take  offence  at  apparent 
slights,  I  would  remember  that  my  strength  lies  in  Jesus,  — 
watchfulness  and  prayer.  '  He  that  hateth  his  brother  is  a 
murderer.'     An  angry  thought  is  sin.     'From  envy,  hatred, 


154  DIARY.  [1836 

and  all  unchaTitableness,  good  Lord,  deliver  me."  I  need  that 
my  faith  be  increased  in  this  respect,  for  I  very  often  offend  in 
this  thing,  and  I  hope  I  shall,  from  this  time,  strive  to  pos- 
sess 'the  mind  that  was  in  Christ  Jesus.'  0,  may  I  ever  be 
enabled  to  realize  that  I  cannot  make  myself  meek  and  lowly ; 
that  it  is  necessary  that  I  be  so,  and  that  God  is  able  and 
willing  to  make  me  all  that  He  would  have  me  to  be." 

"  Sunday,  Feb.  21s^.  —  I  think  I  generally  feel  more 
happy  on  Sunday  evening  than  at  any  other  time;  more 
prayerful  and  more  peaceful.  This  evening  I  have  spent 
much  time  in  prayer,  and  my  chief  desire  has  been  for  more 
faith." 

"  25^A.  —  Felt  a  great  desire  for  holiness  to-day,  whik 
writing  to  a  Christian  friend.  This  evening  have  spent  some 
time  very  profitably  up-stairs,  but  was  obliged  to  spend  an 
hour  in  the  parlor,  with  company,  and  a  tedious  hour  it  was. 
I  feel  more  dull  in  the  society  of  those  who  are  trifling  away 
their  precious  time,  than  anywhere  else ;  and  I  am  thankful  that 
I  am  mercifully  permitted  to  spend  so  much  time  in  retirement. 
I  have  suffered  much  this  day,  and  must  pray  for  strength 
to  endure  greater  pain,  for  I  shall  have  it  to  endure.  0, 
that  I  could  realize  the  nearness  of  eternity  !  I  shall  welcome 
suffering,  if  God  will  bless  it  to  this  end.  My  Heavenly 
Father,  wilt  Thou  not  enable  me  to  glorify  Thy  name  ?  wilt 
thou  not  make  me  pure  in  heart  ?" 

'■'■  3Iare]i  2>d.  —  I  have  many  mercies  to  record.  Yester- 
day was  very  pleasant,  and  I  very  much  enjoyed  walking, 
and  breathing  pure  air  early  in  the  morning.  I  was  in  much 
suffering,  and,  as  usual,  had  to  ask  God  for  grace  to  help  in 
time  of  need,  after  which  I  felt  much  better.  Called  at  Aunt 
H.'s,  and  fell  down  the  steps  in  such  a  manner,  that  it  is 
wonderful  I  did  not  receive  serious  injury,  but  was  not  much 
hurt.  In  what  danger  are  our  lives,  and  how  needful  is  it 
that  we  be  always  prepared  to  die !  I  called  to  see  Mrs.  B., 
with  whom  I  had  a  very  profitable  conversation.    She  told  me 


1836.]         ESTIMATE    OF    RELIGIOUS    TRUTH.  155 

the  circumstances  of  the  death  of  two  young  ladies,  who  were 
the  subjects  of  the  disease  I  have  ;  and  I  felt  an  increased 
desire  to  be  ready  for  the  coming  of  the  Son  of  Man." 

The  great  truths  of  the  Christian  religion  were  held  by 
INIiss  Allibone  with  the  warm  grasp  of  affectionate  faith.  No 
doctrine  of  her  creed  was  with  her  an  abstract  speculation 
or  a  mere  intellectual  conviction.  "  With  the  heart  she 
believed  unto  righteousness,"  while  at  the  same  time  her 
reasoning  powers  were  acute  and  well  developed.  When  any 
doctrine,  which  she  was  assured  was  from  God,  was  called  in 
question,  she  defended  it  with  the  deepest  interest.  She  was 
evidently  arguing,  not  for  victory,  but  for  truth  —  truth  of 
which  she  had  known  and  felt  the  power,  and  which  she  was 
most  anxious  to  commend  to  the  conviction  of  those  with 
whom  she  reasoned.  With  all  her  gentleness  and  considera- 
tion for  the  feelings  of  others,  she  could  never  be  indifferent 
to  false  doctrine,  or  allow  them  to  suppose  her  to  be  so.  The 
union  of  directness  and  fidelity  with  kindness,  in  her  expos- 
tulations with  those  whom  she  considered  to  be  in  error,  is 
illustrated  by  the  following  letter  to  a  friend,  who  did  not 
believe  in  the  divinity  and  atonement  of  the  Lord  Jesus : — 

"Feb.  26th,  1836. 
*  *  *  "During  the  long  interval  that  has  elapsed  since  we 
have  had  intercourse,  I  have  very  often  prayed  that  God  would  en- 
lighten thy  mind  with  the  light  of  the  everlasting  gospel  —  that  He 
would  show  thee  plainly  that  Jesus  is  <  the  way,  the  truth,  and  the 
life;'  and  I  hope  very  soon  to  learn  that  thee  has  been  shown  'the 
glory  of  God  in  the  face  of  Jesus  Christ.'  Oh,  how  happy  would 
such  intelligence  make  me  !  for  thee  cannot  doubt  the  increase  of  my 
interest  in  thy  spiritual  welfare.  The  only  reason  why  I  have  de- 
ferred writing  has  been  that  I  could  not  see  clearly  that  it  was  rieht 
for  me  to  do  so.  I  have  very  often  read  thy  last  letter,  and  reflected 
upon  its  contents,  —  and  in  attempting  to  aid  thee  in  acquirino- a 
knowledge  of  the  truth,  I  feel  my  own  weakness  most  sensibly.  I 
know  that  I  am  standing  upon  holy  ground,  and  in  my  own  strength 


156  DIVINITY    OF    THE    SON.  [1836. 

I  would  not  dare  to  write  to  thee  on  this  subject.  Thee  says,  that 
'  notwithstanding  the  very  different  degrees  of  religious  knowledge  to 
which  we  have  attained,  thee  does  not  think  our  views  so  widely 
differ.'  I  hope  that  I  feel  my  ignorance,  my  sinfulness,  and  my 
want  of  humble  and  lively  faith  too  sensibly,  to  believe  for  one  mo- 
ment that  I  have  made  eminent  attainments  in  religion ;  but  permit 
me,  my  beloved  friend,  once  more  to  say  that  our  views  do  indeed 
widely  differ.  The  doctrine  which  is  to  thee  one  involving  so  much 
doubt  and  perplexity,  that  thee  says  thee  cannot  adopt  it,  and  which 
thee  considers  so  repugnant  to  the  reason  with  which  God  has  so 
mercifully  endowed  His  creatures,  is  to  me  ten  thousand  times  more 
precious  than  all  besides.  Upon  it  is  founded  my  only  hope  of 
heaven,  and  I  daily  and  continually  ask  God  to  impress  it  more  and 
more  deeply  upon  my  heart.  Rather  than  renounce  it,  I  believe  I 
would  endure  any  privation,  any  suffering.  To  me,  Jesus  Christ  is 
precious.  I  hesitate  not  to  ascribe  glory  to  the  Father,  Son,  and 
Holy  Ghost,  and  I  expect  to  do  so  throughout  the  ceaseless  ages  of 
eternity.  Does  not  the  Bible  tell  us  that  '  Hereby  perceive  we  the 
love  of  God,  because  He  laid  down  His  life  for  us'  ?  and  do  we  not 
know  that  Christ,  'His  own  self  bare  our  sins,  in  His  own  body,  on 
the  tree,  that  we  being  dead  to  sin  should  live  unto  righteousness, 
by  whose  stripes  we  are  healed'  ?  Do  not  reject  this  truth,  my 
beloved  friend,  because  it  does  not  now  appear  plain  to  thee.  God 
will  enable  thee,  if  thee  will  ask  Him,  to  believe ;  though  in  this 
world  thee  will  never  be  able  to  understand  Iwio  it  is,  and  this  thee 
is  not  required  to  understand.  Refer  to  the  last  verse  of  the  third 
chapter  of  1st  Timothj^. 

"  There  is  an  article  in  the  Episcopal  Recorder  of  last  week,  ex- 
tracted from  an  English  paper,  containing  an  account  of  the  public 
recantation  of  a  Unitarian  minister.  It  states  that  he  informed  his 
congregation  that  he  had  formed  an  acquaintance  with  a  clergyman, 
who,  on  debating  with  him  on  doctrinal  points,  '  had  used  such  pow- 
erful arguments  as  to  entirely  beat  him  off  his  ground.'  He,  there- 
fore, prayed  to  God  to  forgive  him,  for  having  hitherto  led  his  con- 
gregation impiously  to  deny  the  divinity  of  Christ.  It  is  said  that 
this  information  produced  great  excitement,  that  many  were  moved 
to  tears,  and  the  pastor  himself  was  greatly  affected.  The  trustees 
of  the  church  have  decided  that  he  shall  no  longer  be  allowed  the 
use  of  the  pulpit.  If  this  account  be  true,  as  I  hope  it  is,  I  do  most 
sincerely  sympathize  with  and  pity  that  man ;  for  he  must  feel  that 
he  has  been  the  means  of  injuring  many  immortal  beings,  and  I 


1836.]  KEFLECTIONS    AT    A    FUNERAL.  157 

hope  he  will  henceforth  endeavor  to  extend  the  knowledge  of  '  the 
truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus.'  " 

"  Monday  evening,  I  was  obliged  to  stay  away  from  the 
Monthly  Concert.  I  was  not  well,  and  Ave  had  company 
■whom  I  could  not  possibly  leave.  I  do  not  think  company 
should  detain  us  from  the  sanctuary  in  ordinary  Cases.  I 
had  rather  appear  rude  to  man  than  neglect  my  duty  to  God, 
and  deprive  myself  of  an  opportunity  of  spiritual  improve- 
ment :  but  in  this  case  I  could  not  go,  and  endeavored  to  bear 
patiently  the  disappointment.  While  surrounded  by  those 
who  '  care  for  none  of  these  things,'  whose  every  thought  and 
feeling  are  uncongenial  with  my  own,  I  longed  for  heaven, 
where  is  no  opposition  to  the  kingdom  of  my  Redeemer.  I 
had  cause  to  be  glad  that  I  did  not  go  to  church,  as  I  hope 
I  was  enabled  to  be  in  some  degree  useful  to  a  friend. 

^^Mareh  26th.  —  I  have  neglected,  during  the  past  week  or 
two,  to  procure  a  book  in  which  to  record  my  thoughts.  As 
I  think  I  have  derived  benefit  from  this  practice,  I  intend  to 
continue  it  as  long  as  I  am  able.  One  of  my  chief  objects 
in  so  doing  is,  that  I  may  especially  remark  the  manner  in 
which  I  spend  the  Sabbath,  for  this  is  my  spiritual  thermo- 
meter. 

"Last  Sunday  afternoon,  Mr. was  buried,  and  I  went 

an  hour  earlier  to  church,  that  I  might  enjoy  the  Burial 
Service,  and  be  reminded  of  my  latter  end.  I  imagined  my- 
self in  the  place  of  the  deceased,  and  thought  it  very  probable 
that  my  own  dear  family  would,  ere  long,  attend  my  remains 
to  the  grave  ;  and  my  only  desire  was  that  I  might  live  and 
die  in  the  Lord,  and  that  my  life  and  death  might  be  sancti- 
fied to  those  who  survive  me. 

"  Last  Sunday  morning,  felt  a  great  desire  to  grow  in 
grace.  My  heart  was  moved  during  the  service,  though  it 
was  read  in  such  a  rapid  manner  that  I  felt  disappointed. 
The  sermon  was  truly  excellent.     Text,  'And  when  He  was 

14 


158  PASTORAL    VISIT.  [1836. 

come  near,  He  beheld  the  city,  and  wept  over  it.'  I  could 
not  refrain  from  weeping  almost  all  the  time. 

"On  Good  Friday,  Mr.  C.  preached  from  the  text,  'It  is 
finished  !' — a  solemn  and  affecting  sermon.  Oh,  that  I  knew 
more  of  the  love  of  Christ !  I  resolved  that  I  would  think 
more  of  Him,  and  pray  for  more  love  and  faith.  As  I  walked 
home,  my  heart  was  lifted  up  in  prayer. 

"  On  Saturday  evening,  we  had  a  prayer-meeting  which  I 
desire  ever  to  remember  with  pleasure.  Our  beloved  Pastor 
gave  us  much  excellent  advice,  which  I  shall  endeavor  to 
treasure  up.  He  observed  that  if  not  a  word  were  to  be 
spoken,  the  reflection  was  affecting,  that  so  m.any  of  God's 
dear  children  were  assembled  together,  a  blood-washed  com- 
pany, on  their  way  to  Him.  I  was  very  sorry  when  the 
meeting  was  concluded.  I  did  not  wish  to  leave  such  a  hal- 
lowed spot  and  such  a  consecrated  company. 

'■^Sunday.  —  This  morning  I  felt  deeply  interested  in  the 
service,  though  I  was  interrupted  by  some  very  foolish 
thoughts.  I  did  strive  against  them,  and  could  truly  say,  '  I 
hate  vain  thoughts,  but  Thy  law  do  I  love.'  I  enjoyed  the 
Psalm,  from  the  84th,  one  of  my  favorites ;  and  when  the 
hymn  was  given  out,  '  0  for  a  closer  walk  with  God,'  I  re- 
joiced, because  I  hoped  the  sermon  would  be  in  accordance 
with  it,  and  I  was  not  disappointed.  The  text  was  from 
Philippians  i.  27 :  '  Only  let  your  conversation  be  as  becometh 
the  Gospel  of  Christ.'  I  felt  that  my  heart  was  prepared  for 
the  sermon,  and  I  hope  it  has  sunk  deep  into  it,  and  will 
bring  forth  in  me  fruit  unto  good  living. 

"Yesterday  we  had  a  delightful  visit  from  our  beloved 
Pastor.  He  gave  E.  much  good  advice,  —  told  her  she  must 
no  longer  defer  to  consecrate  her  heart  to  God,  as  a  matter 
of  duty^  and  then  He  will  take  care  of  her  liappincss.  He 
prayed  with  us,  and  remembered  me  particularly  in  his  peti- 
tion. He  prayed  that  God  would  restore  my  health,  and  in 
this  request  I  did  not  unite  with  him,  for  I  desire  to  have  no 


1836.]  DREAD     OF    EGOTISM.  159 

■will  about  it.  I  never  have  prayed  that  my  health  might  be 
restored,  nor  my  life  prolonged.  I  do  not  know  whether  my 
feelings  are  just  what  they  ought  to  be  on  this  subject,  but  I 
pray  that  if  they  are  not,  God  will  make  them  so. 

"  Oh,  how  much  more  happy  and  useful  should  I  be,  if  my 
speech  were  so  ordered,  as  always  to  minister  grace  unto  the 
hearers  !  but,  alas,  I  talk  of  many  things  that  are  of  no  ad- 
vantage, and  very  often  of  myself.  I  think  egotism  a  dan- 
gerous fault,  and  I  desire  to  watch  and  pray  against  it.  Oh, 
I  wish  I  did  not  think  so  well  of  myself.  When  I  say  I  want 
humility,  I  do  not  feel  it  deeply.  I  am  afraid  I  do  not  know 
what  it  is." 

To  her  Sister  S. 

May  3,  1836. 

"  I  was  inexpressibly  gratified,  dear  sister,  to  receive,  yesterday, 
from  a  youug  lady  in  whose  spiritual  concerns  I  have  long  been 
deeply  interested,  the  information  that  she  had  decided  to  be  bap- 
tized next  Sunday.  If  this  news  from  one  who  is  almost  a  stranger 
had  power  to  elicit  tears  of  joy,  how  much  greater  happiness  would 
it  give  me  to  welcome  my  own  precious  sister  into  the  visible  church 
of  Christ !  You  will  be  surprised  at  these  remarks,  for  I  have  never 
yet  said  any  thing  to  you  on  this  subject,  though  it  is  my  daily 
prayer  that  your  duty  may  be  made  plain  to  you. 

"It  is  not  only  my  opinion,  but  my  conviction  that  it  is  your  duty 
to  make  a  profession  of  religion,  whatever  your  feelings  may  be.  And 
I  trust  you  will  constantly  pray  that  you  may  be  led  in  the  way  in 
which  you  should  go.  I  trust  you  would  not  suspect  me  of  a  desire 
to  induce  any  one  to  profess  the  religion  of  the  Saviour,  who  has  not 
fully  resolved  to  take  up  the  Cross  and  follow  Him.  So  far  from 
this,  I  would  not  for  the  world  in  any  way  assist  to  increase  the  host 
of  inconsistent  professors,  who  are  a  far  greater  injury  to  the  cause 
of  religion  than  its  declared  adversaries.  I  hope  the  cause  of  Christ 
is  more  precious  to  me  than  even  yon,  my  dear  sister,  even  would 
your  interest  be  advanced  by  a  premature  admittance  into  the 
Church. 

"But  I  cannot  believe  that  you  have  deferred  until  now  to  choose 
the  Lord  for  your  God.  I  know  that  you  daily  wait  upon  Ilim  in 
prayer  and  in  reading  His  Holy  Word,  and  this  not  only  because 
you  know  you  ought  to  do  so,  hut  because  you  '  hunger  and  thirst 


160  PROFESSION     OF    RELIGION.  [1836. 

after  righteousness.'  Your  interest  in  this  all-iuiportant  subject  is 
coutinu.'iUy  increasing;  you  earnestly  desire  the  spiritual  good  of 
those  who  are  closely  connected  with  you ;  and  your  very  powerful 
interest  has  been  excited  in  a  poor  man  who  is  a  stranger  to  you,  be- 
cause he  defies  your  Heavenly  Father,  and  you  fear  He  will  be  lost 
forever.  I  know  that  unregenerate  hearts  are  often  deeply  interested 
in  the  salvation  of  others;  I  know  that  many  who  are  not  entirely 
persuaded  to  become  Christians  have  availed  themselves  of  the  means 
of  grace  ;  but  I  never  did  know  any  one  with  feelings  such  as  yours, 
who  had  not  turned  his  steps  Ziouward.  You  remember  the  history 
contained  in  the  13th  chapter  of  Luke,  of  '  a  woman  which  had  a 
spirit  of  infirmity  eighteen  years,  and  was  bowed  together,  and  could 
in  no  wise  lift  up  herself;  and  when  Jesus  saw  her,  he  called  her 
to  him,  and  said,  Woman,  thou  art  loosed  from  thine  infirmity,  and 
immediately  she  was  made  straight,  and  glorified  God.' 

"  In  coming  to  Christ  we  are  required  to  submit  to  His  righteous- 
ness, and  to  do  His  will.  He  has  expressly  commanded  that  His 
disciples  shall  confess  Him  before  men.  He  has  as  expressly  enjoined 
the  duties  of  baptism  and  the  Lord's  Supper.  I  know  that  many 
deny  this,  but  I  have  gained  my  knowledge  and  derived  my  views 
on  these  subjects  from  the  Word  of  God,  and  from  no  human  au- 
thority.' And  I  am  sure  that  if  you  will  study  the  Bible,  and  the 
Bible  only,  with  referen.ce  to  these  points  of  duty,  in  a  spirit  of  ear- 
nest, humble  prayer,  you  will  hesitate  no  longer." 

May  G,  1836. 
"T  feel  deeply  humbled,  sometimes,  when  I  reflect  upon  the  un- 
wearied kindness  of  my  friends,  and  desire  to  realize  that  it  is  not 
because  I  deserve  it,  but  because  my  Heavenly  Father  has  inspired 
their  hearts  with  sympathy  and  love  towards  me.  And  in  addition 
to  His  many  proofs  of  loving  kindness,  He  has  granted  one  of  the 

most  earnest  desires  of  my  heart,  in  having  called  my  dear  sister 

to  a  knowledge  of  Himself,  for  I  believe  that  her  heart  has  been 
changed  by  the  influence  of  His  grace.  She  feels  that  it  is  her  duty 
to  obey  her  Saviour's  command  to  confess  Him  before  men,  and  ex- 
pects to  be  baptized  next  Sunday  morning.  I  know  that  she  will 
be  exposed  to  many  temptations,  but  I  believe  that  God  will  guide 
her  with  His  counsel,  and  will  enable  her  to  take  more  and  more 
deligiit  in  His  service.  It  is  a  great  consolation  to  know  that  though 
our  hearts  are  so  sinful,  and  our  spiritual  adversaries  so  many,  who 
in  the  strength  of  Jesus  trusts  is  more  than  conqueror." 


1836.]  PRESERVATION.  161 

"  3Iaij  9t7i.  — Yesterday  was  a  most  happy  day.  I  stoqd 
"with  my  dear  sister  at  her  baptism,  and  my  heart  was  uplifted  to 
God  for  His  continued  blessing  upon  both.  The  vows  of  God 
are  upon  her,  and  in  the  strength  of  Jesus  she  will  be  enabled 
to  fulfil  them.  I  earnestly  desire  and  pray  that  she  may  be 
enabled  to  press  towards  the  mark,  and  to  run  the  race  that 
is  set  before  her.  Mr.  C.  preached  from  the  3d  and  4th 
verses  of  the  1st  chapter  of  I.  Peter.  I  was  almost  overcome 
by  my  feelings,  after  church,  and  when  I  returned  I  had  a 
very  sweet  season  of  prayer.  To-morrow  I  expect,  if  it  be 
my  Heavenly  Father's  will,  to  go  to  Princeton.  May  the 
light  of  His  countenance  be  lifted  up  on  me.  May  He  pre- 
serve me  from  all  evil,  and  grant  me  His  peculiar  blessing, 
for  my  Saviour's  sake  ! 

"  3Iai/  14:tJi,  Saturday  evening.  —  The  very  sound  of  Satur- 
day evening  is  sweet  to  me,  and  I  always  feel  a  great  desire 
to  spend  it  in  preparation  for  the  Sabbath.  If  my  life  be 
spared  till  to-morrow,  I  do  hope  I  shall  be  enabled  to  keep  it 
more  holy  than  I  ever  yet  have  done.  I  have  been  several 
days  in  the  country,  and  have,  as  usual,  very  much  enjoyed 
the  beauties  of  nature  ;  but  it  appears  to  me,  they  have  not 
had  as  electric  an  effect  as  they  have  sometimes  had.  Still, 
I  have  not  been  quite  unmindful  that  '  the  hand  that  made 
them  is  divine.'  Yesterday  I  was  much  interested  in  a  little 
book  called  'The  Life  of  Mary  Lothrop,'  a  little  child,  and 
just  such  a  little  child  in  faith  and  humility  as  I  desire  to 
be  ;  and  I  desire,  too,  to  imitate  her  resignation  to  the  will 
of  God,  and  to  feel  the  same  love  for  immortal  souls. 

"We  intended  to  ride  together,  but  company  came,  and  K. 
was  detained.  She  thought  the  exercise  would  benefit  me, 
so  I  set  off  without  her.  I  had  some  very  good  thoughts,  and 
really  witched  to  love  God  better.  As  we  were  returning,  the 
horse  took  fright  and  ran  off.  I  was  not  alarmed,  though  I 
thought  it  very  likely  I  should  ^  be  killed,  but  said  in  my 
heart,  '  I  am  not  afraid,  for  Thou  art  with  me.'  As  we 
L  14* 


162  LOVE     FOR     HER     CHURCH.  [1836. 

reached  the  gate,  succeeded  in  checking  the  horse,  and  we 
arrived  in  safety.  K.  was  quite  agitated.  I  asked  God  to 
sanctify  this  escape,  and  to  make  me  more  devoted  to  His  ser- 
vice.     Since  then,  I  have  felt  very  peaceful. 

Ibth,  Saturday.  —  This  has  been  a  very  pleasant  day.  In 
prayer  with  dear  K.  felt  unusual  fervor.  We  prayed  espe- 
cially for  the  Episcopal  Church  in  Princeton,  and  intend 
doinf  so  daily.  Enjoyed  the  service  at  church  less  than  I 
do  at  home,  hut  still,  very  much.  I  hope  the  time  is  not 
very  far  distant  when  hearty  responses  shall  arise  from  every 
part  of  this  sanctuary. 

"  18^A,  —  Am  too  excitable,  when  any  thing  is  said  in  dis- 
paragement of  my  beloved  Church.  I  ought  to  love  it  even 
better  than  I  do,  but  my  feelings  should  be  so  controlled  by 
the  influence  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  that  no  charge  against  it, 
however  unjust  or  unreasonable,  should  excite  me.  If  I 
know  myself,  I  am  not  at  all  inclined  to  speak  or  think  ill 
of  other  churches,  but  do  sincerely  love  Christians  of  every 
denomination ;  but  my  principles  and  feelings  are  all  enlisted 
for  my  own,  and  there  may  be  more  of  bigotry  in  my  heart 
than  I  am  conscious  of.  I  see  and  lament  the  want  of 
charity  in  other  Christians,  and  if  the  beam  is  in  my  own 
eye,  I  pray  that  it  may  be  taken  out.  At  any  rate  I  feel 
that  I  was  too  warm  in  defence  of  my  church,  and  I  hope  my 
love  for  it  will  not  tempt  me  to  sin  any  more,  but  to  pray 
earnestly  for  its  prosperity, — to  pray  that  God  will  grant  to 
our  Bishops,  Priests  and  Deacons  the  continual  dew  of  his 
blessing,  that  He  will  increase  the  missionary  zeal  and  the 
evangelical  spirit  which  are  more  and  more  manifested. 

"■Whitsunday.  —  Enjoyed,  this  morning,  the  privilege  of' 
the  Communion.  Would  have  been  very  glad  to  have  par- 
taken with  my  own  dear  family,  and  especially  with  my  dear 
sister  E.,  Avho,  I  hope,  has  commemorated  our  Saviour's  dying 
love  for  the  first  time,  but  w-as  thankful  to  go  to  the  table  of 
the  Lord  here.     I  felt  very  prayerful  and  solemn,  and  as 


1836.]  RESIGNATION.  163 

though  I  Avould  be  strengthened  in  my  heavenward  journey, 
but  still  my  feelings  were  not  as  warm  as  they  generally  are 
at  this  season.  I  fear  I  did  not  pray  enough  for  a  blessing 
upon  the  sacred  ordinance,  and  I  hope,  if  I  be  ever  permitted 
to  enjoy  it  again,  that  my  heart  will  be  melted  into  unfeigned 
repe7itance,  and  inspired  with  true  faith.  I  do  pray  for  those 
with  whom  I  united  in  obeying  our  Saviour's  command.  Oh, 
I  do  wish  that  I  loved  Him, — that  I  could  realize  His  love  to 
s'.nuers.  Surely,  I  ought  to  do  so.  Every  privilege  has  been 
granted  me,  and  though  I  do  not  feel  it  with  my  whole  heart. 
I  am  an  unprofitable  servant.  Lord,  have  mercy  upon  me  a 
sinner,  and  make  me  feel  my  sinfulness.  Oh,  let  me  not 
think  well  of  myself. 

"I  am  often  remiuded  that  my  frame  is  capable  of  enduring 
much  suffering,  and  if  I  did  not  know  that  God  will  ever  be 
with  me,  to  'sanctify  to  me  my  deepest  distress,'  the  antici- 
pation of  the  exquisite  pain  I  shall  probably  suffer,  if  my 
death  be  a  lingering  one,  would  cause  me  to  shrink ;  but 
blessed  be  God,  I  am  not  afraid.  He  will  send  me  no  unne- 
cessary chastisement,  and  He  will  even  enable  me  to  bless 
Him  for  sanctified  affliction.  Though  my  outward  man  perish, 
yet  my  inward  man  is,  and  shall  be  renewed  day  by  day.  0 
that  I  were  prepared  for  eternity !  0  blessed  Jesus,  increase 
my  faith,  and  cover  me  with  the  robe  of  Thy  righteousness. 

"  24^A.  —  To-day  I  have  enjoyed  very  much.  Have  felt 
more  spiritually  inclined,  in  prayer,  reading  and  conversa- 
tion, than  usual.  I  have  not  suffered  so  much  as  usual,  and 
have  wished  to  devote  my  intervals  of  ease  to  God.  Oh,  the 
peace  of  God  is  worth  much  more  than  all  the  Avorld  can 
give.  It  passeth  understanding,  and  I  hope  God  will  grant 
me  more  and  more  of  it. 

"  Jitwc  Qth.  —  My  prayers  for  a  peculiar  blessing  upon  the 
past  Sabbath  were  more  than  answered.  I  desire  to  record 
the  goodness  of  God.  My  morning  devotions  were  more  truly 
devotional  than  they  often  are.     Did  not  expect  to  go  to 


164  GRATITUDE.  [1836. 

cliurch,  but  it  rained  so  little,  that  we  thought  it  would  not 
hurt  us  to  ride  so  short  a  distance,  so  we  wrapped  up  and 
went.  I  enjoyed  the  Litany  very  much.  My  prayers,  part 
of  the  time,  seemed  to  ascend  to  the  Mercy-seat.  K.  and  I 
had,  at  twilight,  a  long  and  consecrated  season  of  prayer.  I 
felt  an  unusual  desire  to  praise  God,  yesterday.  0  that  this 
desire  may  increase,  for  I  fear  I  do  not  offer  Him  very  often 
the  incense  of  a  grateful  heart,  though  I  endeavor  to  thank 
Him  for  His  continual  benefits.     I  have  to  say, 

*  Till  I  can  praise  thee  as  I  should, 
Accept  my  heart's  desire.' 

"  9^7t.  —  What  abundant  cause  have  I  for  gratitude  for 
blessings  temporal  and  spiritual !  I  am  surrounded  by  every 
source  of  enjoyment ;  constantly  receive  the  kindest  letters 
from  home,  and  have,  in  my  cousin's  society,  both  intel- 
lectual and  spiritual  refreshment. 

"  Talking  of  the  odiousness  of  pride  last  evening,  and  of 
the  tenacity  with  which  it  clings  to  the  heart,  I  felt  a  great 
desire  to  be  entirely  free  from  it.  I  indulged  a  feeling  of 
this  kind  a  day  or  two  since,  of  which  I  am  very  much 
ashamed.  0,  that  I  were  more  like  my  Saviour  !  I  will  en- 
deavor, in  His  strength,  to  be  conformed  to  His  image,  and 
I  trust  that  God  will  enable  me,  in  all  things,  to  crucify  the 
flesh  and  the  affections  thereof.  ^I  wish  nothing  to  remain 
in  my  heart  which  is  not  wholly  spiritual.  I  love  the  law  of 
God  because  it  is  very  pure,  though  I  feel  that  I  come 
far  short  of  it.     I  could  not  be  happy  if  it  were  not  infinitely 

holy." 

To  her  Sister. 

"June  10,  1830. 
"  I  cannot  tell  you  how  happy  I  leel  this  morning,  my  dear  sister; 
the  scenery  around  is  so  beautiful,  the  air  so  balmy,  and  the  birds 
sininng  so  sweetly,  that  I  feel  inclined  to  unite  with  them  in  sing- 
int?  a  song  of  praise  to  the  bounteous  Author  of  creation.  And  I 
have  enjoyed,  too,  a  very  delightful  season  of  prayer,  proving  that 
'  the  Lord  is  good  to  the  soul  that  waiteth  for  Him  ;'   that  lie  does 


1836.]  LETTER    TO    A    SISTER.  165 

not  forsake  those  who  seek  Him.  May  this  be  your  happy  expe- 
rience, my  beloved  sister !  May  you  be  very  diligent  in  running 
the  race  set  before  you  !  May  you  rejoice  in  the  Lord  evermore  ! 
You  cannot  imagine  the  delight  it  gives  me  to  be  able  to  write  to 
you  in  this  way,  to  encourage  you  to  persevere  in  the  course  in  which 
you  have  set  out.  The  last  letter  I  wrote  you  was  penned  with  very 
different  feelings  —  with  a  heavy  heart  —  for  I  knew  that  you  were 
grieving  the  Holy  Spirit,  and  felt  that  I  must  send  you  a  solemn 
warning,  which  I  had  reason  to  believe  would  be  unacceptable;  but 
how  good  has  God  been  to  us  !  Oh,  how  can  I  praise  Him  for 
having  brought  my  precious  sister  to  the  knowledge  of  the  truth ; 
and  though  I  am  aware  that  she  is  yet  a  babe  in  Christ  Jesus,  that 
she  has  just  commenced  with  feeble  steps  a  Zionward  journey,  I  be- 
lieve that  He  who  has  commenced  a  good  work  in  her  heart,  will 
carry  it  on  to  perfection ;  and  my  desire  in  sending  her  this  letter 
is  to  encourage  her  to  trust  io  Him  with  simple  faith,  and  to  re- 
mind her  that,  though  an  Almighty  power  must  work  in  her  both 
to  will  and  to  do,  still  it  is  her  duty  to  work  out  her  own  salvation 
with  fear  and  trembling. 

"1  feel  very  desirous,  dear  E.,  that  you  should  live  a  life  of  faith 
in  the  Son  of  God,  that  you  should  realize  the  responsibility  you 
have  assumed  in  taking  the  vows  of  God  upon  you,  and  that  in  en- 
deavoring to  pay  them  you  should  not  be  guided  by  the  example  of 
other  Christians.  If  you  are  tempted  to  look  to  them,  and  to  imi- 
tate their  conduct,  excepting  in  instances  where  you  see  plainly  that 
it  is  according  to  the  will  of  God,  you  will  suffer  great  spiritual  loss; 
but  if  you  will  ever  'look  unto  Jesus,'  and  strive  to  be  conformed 
to  His  image,  you  will  rapidly  grow  iu  grace.  You  will  find  pecu- 
liar advantage  in  the  study  of  the  example  of  our  Saviour,  in  medi- 
tating upon  His  humility.  His  long-suffering.  His  love  for  the  im- 
mortal soul,  and  upon  every  attribute  of  His  character.  It  is  time 
for  Christians  to  awake.  The  cause  of  Christ  is  continually  brouo'ht 
into  disgrace  by  the  inconsistency  of  its  professors ;  and  if  those  who 
have  recently  enlisted  under  his  banner  do  not  more  manfully  main- 
tain the  contest  against  'the  world,  the  flesh,  and  the  devil,'  how 
greatly  will  be  increased  the  triumph  of  the  enemy !  My  dear,  dear 
sister,  how  fervently  do  I  pray  that  you  may  be  a  faithful  soldier  of 
Christ  'unto  your  life's  end.'  Oh,  accept  the  grace  which  is  so 
freely  offered ;  be  '  strong  in  the  Lord,  and  in  the  power  of  His 
might ;'  '  watch  and  pray,'  lest  you  enter  into  temptation  ;  make  an 
unhesitating  sacrifice  of  aught  that  would  impede  your  spiritual  pro- 


166  ENCOURAGEMENT.  [1836. 

gress.  I  know  you  are  ignorant,  weak  and  sinful,  but  Jesus  is  all 
in  all.  I  believe  that  we  shall,  together,  adore  the  riches  of  re- 
deeming grace  throughout  the  ceaseless  ages  of  eternity.  Here  we 
are  encompassed  with  sin  and  temptation ;  there  we  shall  '  see  His 
face,  and  never,  never  sin,  and  from  the  rivers  of  His  grace  drink 
endless  pleasures  in.'  You  say  that  you  behold  in  my  conduct  and 
character  the  beauty  of  holiness.  When  I  read  your  expre.ssions  of 
this  kind,  I  desired  to  be  humbled  to  the  very  dust.  You  cannot 
feel  the  sinfulness  of  my  heart.  Oh  !  how  often  have  I  hastened 
from  your  presence  to  a  throne  of  grace,  to  ask  forgiveness  for  my 
wandering  thoughts  and  unprofitable  conversation ;  and  every  day 
I  have  to  mourn  that  I  have  '  left  undone  those  things  which  I 
ought  to  have  done,  and  have  done  those  things  which  I  ought  not 
to  have  done.'  I  must  be  entirely  covered  with  the  robe  of  Christ's 
righteousness,  for  I  have  uone  of  my  own.  However,  my  dear 
sister,  I  do  not  misunderstand  your  meaning,  and  I  accept  your 
approbation  with  gratitude,  and  with  humility  acknowledge  that, 
though  '  I  am  not  what  I  ought  to  be ;  I  am  not  what  I  wish  to  be ; 
I  am  not  what  I  hope  to  be  ;  I  thank  God,  I  am  not  what  I  was.' 
His  grace  has  wrought  in  me  a  wonderful  change,  and  I  would  give 
Him  all  the  glory  if  my  example  and  influence  have  been  tbe  means 
of  increasing  your  desire,  my  precious  sister,  to  '  follow  after  holi- 
ness,' or  if  they  shall  be  in  any  way  the  means  of  doing  good. 

"  And  now,  dear  sister,  feeling  my  own  weakness,  and  imploring 
the  assistance  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  I  wish  to  encourage  you  to  'follow 
on  to  know  the  Lord.'  I  know  that  I  have  not  an  extensive  ac- 
quaintance with  religious  experience,  but  I  do  not  hesitate  to  express 
my  conviction  that  it  will  not  be  long  ere  you  will  be  enabled  to 
read  your  '  title  clear  to  mansions  in  the  skies.'  I  do  not  believe 
that,  from  the  creation  of  the  world  until  the  present  hour,  any  in- 
quirer after  the  truth,  as  sincere  and  as  deeply  interested  as  you  are, 
has  failed  to  find  'joy  and  peace  in  believing.'  You  are  sowing  in 
tears,  you  shall  reap  in  joy.  Yes,  my  own  dear  sister,  I  invite  you, 
in  the  name  of  my  blessed  Saviour,  to  come  to  Him,  and  find  rest 
for  your  soul.  And  now,  I  will  give  you  the  advice  which  I  wish 
you  henceforth  to  follow  : — AVhile  you  cannot  be  too  watchful  over 
your  own  heart,  nor  pray  too  fervently  that  God  will  search  and  try 
it,  endeavor,  my  dear  sister,  to  think  of  the  goodness  of  God,  of  the 
character  and  merits  of  the  Saviour.  As  the  Israelites  were  com- 
manded to  look  from  their  mortal  wounds  to  the  remedy  that  was 
graciously  provided  for  them,  so  must  we  raise  our  hopes  and  afiec- 


1836.]  ASSURANCE.  167 

tions  to  '  the  Author  and  Finisher  of  our  fliith.'  Has  not  God  truly- 
proved  himself  the  Father  of  the  fatherless,  in  granting  us  His  best 
gifts. 

"  And  now,  it  is  time  to  bid  you  flirewell.  I  have  written  this 
letter  under  the  influence  of  very  happy  feelings,  and  as  I  retire,  I 
shall  commend  myself  with  renewed  confidence  to  the  guardianship 
of  our  Father  who  is  in  Heaven.  Yes!  He  is  our  Father  and  our 
Friend !  He  has  loved  us  with  '  an  everlasting  love,  therefore  with 
loving-kindness  has  he  drawn  us.'  " 

"  lo^A.  —  Yesterday  morning  I  enjoyed  a  long  season  of 
prayer,  which  was  much  the  happiest  part  of  the  day.  I 
endeavored  to  be  watchful,  for  I  was  exposed  to  much  temp- 
tation, and,  I  have  no  doubt,  was  thought  exceedingly  dull ; 
but  on  Sunday  1  dare  not  talk  about  worldly  things. 

'"'■July  bill.  —  Last  Sunday  I  enjoyed  the  happiness  of 
kneeling  at  the  chancel  of  our  own  church,  to  celebrate,  with 
my  brother  and  sisters,  our  Saviour's  dying  love.  As  I  ap- 
proached the  chancel,  I  could  have  almost  said  aloud,  '  Bless 
the  Lord,  0  my  soul ! '  I  think  I  never  more  truly  united 
with  the  prayers  which  were  offered  at  this  solemn  season. 
Our  Pastor  preached  from  the  text,  'An  inheritance  incor- 
ruptible and  undefiled  is  laid  up  in  heaven  for  you,  who  are 
kept  by  the  power  of  God ;'  dwelling  particularly  upon  the 
certainty  of  the  salvation  of  those  who  are  truly  the  children 
of  God.  I  listened  with  delight,  and  rejoiced  in  the  sure 
promise  of  God.  His  sheep  shall  never  perish.  This  is  a 
glorious  doctrine.  Oh,  that  I  loved  God  more ;  my  heart  is 
so  cold,  but  still  He  will  have  mercy  on  me.  He  will  give  me 
more  of  His  Holy  Spirit. 

^'■July  9th. —  Saturday  nigJit. —  Late  as  it  is,  I  must  write 
a  few  words  here.  I  was  at  our  prayer-meeting  this  even- 
ing, and  had  very  peculiar  feelings  there.  Our  Pastor  alluded 
to  the  great  probability  that  we  should  not  all  meet  again  in 
this  world,  and  told  us  how  needful  it  is  that  we  be  prepared 
to  die.     I  thought  it  most  probable  that  I  should  be  among 


168  WILLINGNESS    TO    DIE.  [1836. 

those  who  shall  be  absent  from  the  earthly  courts  of  the 
Lord.  I  could  scarcely  leave  the  lecture-room,  and  as  I  left 
the  church-yard,  I  prayed  fervently  that  the  Lord  might 
guard  and  govern  me.  I  was  so  exhausted  that  I  almost 
fainted  as  I  walked  home. 

"  I  sat  a  little  while  afterwards  with  my  dear,  kind  sister, 
and  then  read  to  the  servants.  I  felt  much  affected  in  talk- 
ing to  them,  and  trust  that  God  will  sanctify  the  truth.  I 
must  now  prepare  to  retire.  How  many  more  days  and 
nights  will  be  appointed  me,  I  know  not,  and  desire  not  to 
know.  '  My  times  are  in  Thy  hand,  0  Lord.'  My  feeble 
pulse  and  elongated  features  tell  me  that  disease  is  making 
rapid  inroads  upon  my  frame.  My  friends  all  observe  the 
change  in  my  appearance.  This  gives  me  pleasure.  I  have 
no  wish  to  live.  I  enjoy  many  blessings.  God  has  given 
me  kind  and  beloved  friends,  but  I  do  not  feel  as  though  it 
would  be  painful  to  give  them  up.  I  do  want  to  love  my 
Saviour  more,  to  trust  him  more  firmly.  I  know  that  I  am  a 
great  sinner,  that  I  am  very  unprofitable,  but  God  will  not 
desert  me.  The  Spirit  will  not  leave  my  heart.  Jesus  will 
cover  me,  poor  and  naked  and  miserable  as  I  am,  with  the 
robe  of^  His  righteousness,  and  I  shall  unite  in  the  song  of 
the  redeemed.  In  heaven  I  shall  love  God.  Li  heaven  I 
shall  know  and  feel  what  Christ  has  done  for  me,  —  then  I 
shall  be  humble.  Oh,  that  I  were  so  now  !  '  Into  Thy  hands 
I  commend  my  spirit,  for  Thou  hast  redeemed  me,  0  Lord, 
God  of  Truth.' 

^'JuJ?/  10th. — Sabbath  evening. —  This  morning  I  attended 
church,  perhaps  for  the  last  time.  I  felt  that  it  might  be, 
and  the  thought  was  not  painful.  Our  beloved  Pastor 
preached  from  the  text,  '  This  is  the  victory  that  overcometh 
the  world,  even  our  faith.'  The  discourse  was  very  practical. 
I  felt  very  faint  in  church,  and  made  no  effort  to  go  in  the 
afternoon, —  part  of  it  I  spent  alone,  some  of  the  time  profit- 


1836.]  LETTER     TO     HER     MOTHER.  169 

ably,  though  my  thoughts  were  not  all  fixed  upon  God.  I 
was  obliged,  afterwards,  to  be  in  company  a  little  while,  —  I 
tried  to  avoid  general  conversation.  I  can  scarcely  imagine 
a  situation  I  should  more  dislike  than  an  exposure  to  unpro- 
fitable company  on  the  Sabbath.  I  never  feel  so  unhappy 
as  when  I  am  so  circumstanced,  I  feel  as  though  I  was  on 
enchanted  ground. 

"22(^. —  Cape  May. —  I  have  been  here  more  than  a  week, 
and  my  poor  Diary  has  been  all  this  time  lying  in  my  trunk. 
I  prayed  very  earnestly  before  I  came  here,  that  God  would 
not  let  me  come  unless  He  saw  that  it  would  be  for  my  spi- 
ritual interest,  and  for  the  good  of  others.  He  has  very 
mercifully  protected  me  from  many  dangers,  though  I  am 
painfully  conscious  that,  in  many  instances,  I  have  indulged 
a  worldly  spirit." 

To  her  Mother. 

"Cape  Mat,  July,  1836. 
"  My  first  letter  home  is  always  addressed  to  thee,  dearest  mother, 
for  I  love  thee  best,  and  am  assured  that  no  one  else  will  be  more 
glad  to  hear  from  me.  I  am  delighted  with  Cape  May,  and  think  it 
probable  I  shall  be  benefited,  though  it  is  not  probable  I  shall  be 
innch  better.  I  may  be  mistaken  in  my  impression,  but  I  shall  not 
be  at  any  time  surprised  by  a  summons  to  the  eternal  world.  In  a 
very  little  time  I  mat/,  and  ere  a  long  period  can  elapse  I  must,  bid 
farewell  to  earthly  scenes,  and  I  trust  that  I  shall  do  so  joyfully,  for 
sinful  and  unworthy  as  I  am,  the  Rock  of  my  refuge  is  the  Lord 
Jesus  Christ,  the  Friend  of  sinners,  my  Advocate  with  the  Father, 
whom  I  desire  to  be  my  all  in  all,  now  and  for  ever.  I  often  wonder 
that  I  do  not  love  my  Saviour  more,  and  trust  Him  with  more  child- 
like confidence,  but  I  pray  that  I  may  be  taught  the  height,  and 
depth,  and  length  and  breadth  of  the  love  of  Christ,  that  so  I  may 
be  filled  with  all  the  fulness  of  God.  It  grieves  me  to  know  that 
the  greater  part  of  my  life  has  been  so  unprofitably  spent.  That  I 
have  been  myself  so  rebellious  against  God,  and  have  neglected  so 
many  opportunities  of  endeavoring  to  persuade  others  to  love  and  to 
serve  Him.  At  the  close  of  each  day  I  feel  that  I  have  done  those 
things  which  I  ought  not  to  have  done,  and  have  left  undone  those 
things  which  I  ought  to  have  done,  and  that  I  am  indeed  a  miserable 

15 


170  CAPE    MAT.  [1836. 

sinner.  Surely  it  is  needful  that  we  be  entirely  covered  -with  the 
robe  of  Christ's  righteousness,  before  we  appear  at  the  judgment-seat. 
I  do  trust,  my  dear  mother,  that  we  may  each  thus  appear  there,  not 
unreconciled  to  God,  nor  ashamed  at  His  coming,  but  that  all  of  us, 
who  are  so  closely  united  in  affection  here,  may  meet  at  the  right 
hand  of  the  Judge.  We  do  not  like  to  be  separated  on  earth,  and 
I  cannot  bear  the  thought  that  any  one  of  us  should  be  absent  from 
the  company  of  the  redeemed  in  heaven.  I  have  often  thought  that 
if  God  should  sec  fit  to  make  my  death  a  blessing  to  my  family,  if 
He  would  condescend  to  confirm  the  faith,  and  render  more  devoted 
to  His  service  such  of  them  as  have  already  professed  His  name, 

and  to  awaken   to  spiritual   life  my  beloved ,  what  a  blessed 

thing  it  would  be  !  I  enjoy  many  sources  of  happiness,  and  one  of 
the  greatest  is  the  love  and  kindness  of  my  friends.  This  is  the 
richest  of  my  earthly  blessings;  but  I  have  a  dearer  and  a  kinder 
Friend  in  heaven,  who  is  guiding  me  along  a  path  beset  with  temp- 
tations and  trials,  and  who  will,  I  firmly  believe,  finally  receive  me 
to  glory. 

"Accept,  my  beloved  mother,  my  heartfelt  thanks  for  thy  unwea- 
ried kindness."     *     *     * 

^^Saturday  nic/Jit. — According  to  custom,  they  are  dancing 
in  the  drawing-room.  What  a  preparation  for  the  Sabbath  ! 
Oh,  that  they  would  consider  the  realities  of  an  eternal  world  ! 
And  yet  it  is  not  so  wonderful  that  the  unconverted  should 
be  so  engrossed  "with  the  vanities  of  the  world,  as  that  I,  the 
redeemed  of  the  Lord,  the  subject  of  so  many  mercies,  am 
not  more  heavenly-minded.  There  is  a  great  deal  of  sin  in 
my  heart,  and  yet  I  do  not  follow  after  holiness  with  all  dili- 
gence. Oh,  my  Heavenly  Father,  show  me  how  beautiful  it 
is,  and  make  me  love  it. 

''  27t7i. — We  have  a  ball  down  stairs  to-night.  I  thought, 
as  I  shut  the  door  of  my  little  room  before  it  commenced, 
how  greatly  I  would  prefer  an  hour  of  communion  with  God, 
to  any  pleasure  that  a  participation  in  the  gay  scene  below 
could  afford,  and  I  felt  really  thankful  that  God  has  caused 
mo  to  seek  my  happiness  in  Him. 

"  29^7i.  —  To-day  is  my  birthday.  Goodness  from  God, 
and  sin  and  unworthiness  from  me,  have  marked  the  course 


1836.]    EQUIPMENT  OF  THE  SANCTUARY.    171 

of  the  past  year.  Still  I  can  trust  in  the  strength  of  Jesus, 
and  feel  no  doubt  that  through  Him  I  shall  come  off  more 
than  conqueror  over  every  spiritual  foe. 

^'Aug.  ocl. —  I  have  been  at  home  since  Saturday,  and  Avas 
very  glad  to  return.  On  Saturday  evening,  went  home  to 
church  again.  How  much  I  enjoyed  the  service !  I  felt 
weak,  and  it  had  the  most  soothing  effect.  The  Litany,  and 
the  prayers  before  and  after  the  commandments,  I  like  espe- 
cially. Oh,  that  I  could  always  unite  in  the  services  of 
the  sanctuary  with  my  whole  heart,  without  one  wandering 
thought ! 

'■^Sunday,  1th.  —  I  have  been  able  this  day  to  praise  Him 
'  who  is  the  health  of  my  countenance,  and  my  God.'  I  have 
rejoiced  in  Jesus,  who  hath  brought  life  and  immortality  to 
light  through  the  Gospel.  I  went  to  church  this  morning 
with  anticipations  of  spiritual  benefit  and  pleasure.  I  thought 
with  pleasure  of  the  service,  and  prayed  that  I  might  be 
enabled  cordially  to  enter  into  it.  I  did  enjoy  it,  and  was 
glad  to  have  so  many  of  my  dear  family  Avith  me  in  the 
sanctuary.  I  prayed  '  that  we  who  worship  here,  may  all  at 
length  in  heaven  appear.'  I  did  yearn  over  their  souls  in 
the  bowels  of  Christ  Jesus.  The  sermon  was  delicihtful.  I 
am  thankful  that  I  was  permitted  to  hear  it.  Oh,  how  soul- 
satisfying  are  the  consolations  of  the  Christian  !  May  I 
henceforth  be  entirely  consecrated  to  my  Heavenly  Father's 
service. 

"  To-morrow  I  expect  to  leave  home  again.  I  desire  to 
realize  my  entire  helplessness,  and  to  trust  in  Jesus  for 
strength  and  wisdom.  Then  I  shall  be  blessed,  and  be  made 
a  blessing  to  others ;  but  were  I  to  trust  myself,  I  should 
surely  fiill.     Oh,  that  I  may  be  truly  humble !" 

Although  the  present  work  is  confined  to  the  exhibition  of 
Miss  Allibone's  character,  and  scarcely  embraces  in  its  scope 
other  materials  than  those  which  she  has  herself  left  behind, 
the  insertion  of  some  of  the  letters  of  her  esteemed  friend 


172  LETTER    OF    REV.    J.    A.    CLARK.  [1836. 

and  beloved  Pastor,  the  Rev.  John  A.  Clark,  will,  it  is  be- 
lieved, add  to  its  interest.  Their  relation  was  one  of  mutual 
confidence  and  affection,  truly  sanctified  and  cemented  by  the 
influence  of  the  Spirit  of  grace.  Overflowing  with  kindness 
for  all  the  people  of  God,  esteeming  His  ministers  very 
highly  in  love  for  their  work's  sake,  to  those  who  held  a  pas- 
toral relation  to  herself.  Miss  Allibone's  feelings  were  pecu- 
liarly strong  and  affectionate.  So  trusting  in  and  cleaving  to 
the  Chief  Shepherd,  she  greatly  valued  those  who  held  to  her 
the  consecrated  and  responsible  office  of  spiritual  overseers ; 
and  to  the  minister  of  Jesus  Christ,  feeling  deeply  his  need 
of  sympathy  and  intercessory  prayer,  how  great  a  treasure 
was  such  a  parishioner  ? 

To  Miss  AlUhonc. 

Fairfield,  July  27,  1836. 

"Ml/  Dear  Friend — I  have  thought  of  jou  frequently  since  I 
left  Philadelphia.  From  having  been  a  great  suiFerer  myself  from 
ill  health,  I  feel  that  I  can  sympathize  with  those  who  are  laboring 
under  protracted  disease.  With  the  light  of  Divine  truth  beaming 
around  us,  we  need  not  greatly  deplore  these  ills  of  life,  for  we  know 
that  God  intends  them  to  be  disciplinary.  Every  affliction  that  be- 
falls us  is  kindly  designed  by  Him  to  wean  us  from  the  world,  and 
attract  us  towards  heaven.  And  yet  we  are  apt  sometimes  to  doubt 
and  to  indulge  gloomy  fears,  as  though  we  were  forgotten. 

"I  am  spending  my  time  in  the  midst  of  a  very  beautiful  country 
scene.  All  is  quietness  and  peace.  "  The  operations  of  agriculture 
are  going  on  noiselessly  around  me.  My  eye  takes  in  a  sweep  of 
country  of  about  fifteen  miles  in  extent.  The  circling  horizon  rests 
upon  an  amphitheatre  of  hills,  up  to  whose  very  summits  the  hand 
of  cultivation  has  spread  its  rural  beauties.  I  went  out  this  after- 
noon into  the  lonely  field,  and  I  sat  down  under  the  shade  of  a  tree. 
This  beautiful  landscape  was  all  before  me.  Above  was  the  deep 
blue  sky.  I  looked  up  to  the  majestic  sun,  and  thought  of  the  ten 
thousand  worlds  hung  in  the  regions  of  space.  And,  then,  when  I 
elevated  my  thoughts  to  the  Great  Creator,  who  sits  enthroned  in 
light,  fur  above  all  these  ten  thousand  worlds,  I  said  to  myself,  '  Can 
He  care  for  me,  a  poor  worm  of  the  dust  V  At  that  moment  my  eye 
rested  upon  a  poor  little  clover-head,  in  full  bloom.  A  bee  had  lit 
upon  it,  and  was  extracting  from  one  of  its  little  flowers  the  sweet 


1836.]  DIVINE     PKOVIDENCE.  173 

substance  which  constitutes  that  insect's  delicious  food.  Soon  it  flew 
away,  but  it  had  spoken  a  lesson  of  instruction  to  me.  On  th^t  sin- 
gle head  of  clover  I  counted  twenty  cup-shaped  petals,  and  all  these 
contained  a  prepared  banquet  for  one  of  God's  creatures.  He  had 
caused  that  plant  of  clover  to  spring  up.  He  had  watered  it  with 
the  rains  and  dews  of  heaven.  He  had  made  the  sun  to  shine  upon 
it,  and  the  winds  to  blow  over  it,  and  He  had  kept  the  ox  that  strayed 
over  the  field  from  licking  it  up.  He  had  painted  its  leaves  with 
delicate  colors,  and  shut  up  a  treasure  of  sweets  in  each  one  of  its 
petals.  And  why  had  He  done  this?  To  feed  a  little  insect,  all  of 
whose  journeyings  He  had  watched  over,  and  for  whose  happiness 
He  was  solicitous.  And  does  God  take  such  care  of  a  bee,  and  will 
He  not  take  care  of  a  blood-bought  soul,  who  is  to  be  an  heir  of 
glory  ?  The  Almighty  had  watched  over  that  single  head  of  clover, 
and  raised  it  with  as  much  care  as  if  He  had  no  other  business,  as 
if  there  was  not  another  plant  like  it  in  the  world  !  And  yet,  within 
my  reach  at  that  moment  there  were  more  than  a  thousand  of  its 
fellows ;  and  in  the  fields,  millions,  all  waving  in  the  gentle  breeze, 
and  emitting  their  fragrance.  Over  each  one  of  these  the  Lord  had 
watched.  I  cast  my  eye  over  the  surrounding  country,  and  thought 
what  a  mere  S2")eck  this  field  was  in  the  landscape  before  me,  and  yet 
the  presence  and  power  of  God  were  in  every  part  of  the  landscape, 
of  the  world,  of  the  universe ;  and  still  He  took  care  of  this  little 
flower,  and  that  little  bee  !  Should  I,  then,  fear  that  He  would  for- 
get me?  I  prostrated  myself  before  the  Lord,  and  prayed.  It  was 
the  temple  of  Nature  in  which  I  worshipped.  I  felt  that  the  pre- 
sence of  God  teas  there.     I  remembered  my  people,  I  remembered 

my  dear  friend ,  and,  as  I  arose,  and  looked  again  upon  this 

beautiful  scene,  I  determined  I  would  come  home  and  write  you. 

"  I  fear  I  have  filled  up  my  sheet  with  a  reverie  that  will  scarcely 
interest  you.  But,  my  dear  friend,  you  can  gather  this  from  it. 
You  have  no  reason  to  doubt  that  God  careth  for  you.  Then  cast 
your  care  on  Him.  Lie  meekly  at  His  feet,  and  say,  'Thy  will  be 
done.' 

"  I  came  here  sooner  than  I  intended,  on  account  of  the  sickness 
of  little  Mary.  She  has  been  very  ill,  but,  we  hope,  is  now  decidedly 
better.  Little  Johnny  was  very  providentially  rescued  from  death, 
the  evening  bef  )re  my  arrival,  having  been  thrown  from  a  carriage 
amid  the  stones.  We  feel  that  our  children's  lives  hang  upon  a 
slender  thread. 

"  1  wish  you  would  remember  me,  very  affectionately,  to  all  your 

15* 


174  LETTER    TO     DR.    CLARK.  [1836. 

family;  I  love  them  all  very  much,  and  love   to  remember  them 
all   at  a  Throne   of  grace.     Now,  if  you  do  not  feel  able  to  write, 

tell and that  I  have  a  claim  upon  them  each,  and  that 

one  of  them  must  write  in  your  place,  and  tell  us  how  you  all  are. 
"  Your  affectionate  friend  and  Pastor, 

"John  A.  Clakk. 

"  P.  S. — I  am  engaged  now  principally,  as  far  as  I  am  engaged  at 
all  in  intellectual  effort,  in  completing  the  Memoir  of  A." 

To  the  Rev.  John  A.  Clarh. 

August,  1836. 

"  I  think  I  have  never  seated  myself  at  my  little  desk  with  greater 
pleasure,  for  I  am  in  haste,  my  beloved  Pastor,  to  express  to  you  the 
feelings  of  gratitude  and  joy  that  were  excited  by  the  reception  of 
your  kind  letter.  God  proves  that  He  does  indeed  care  for  me,  by 
inclining  unto  me  those  who  fear  Him,  and  have  known  His  testi- 
monies; and  one  of  my  most  exquisite  sources  of  happiness  has 
been  the  kindness  and  counsel  of  my  Christian  friends.  I  feel  that 
I  am  united  to  them  by  ties  stronger  than  those  of  nature,  and  re- 
joice in  every  opportunity  of  holding  communion  with  them.  I 
have  often  desired  to  write  to  you  within  the  past  few  months,  that 
I  might  be  enabled  to  express  more  fully  my  gratitude  for  the  affec- 
tionate interest  you  have  evinced  towards  my  unworthy  self  and  my 
beloved  family.  You  have  faithfully  discharged  your  duty  to  us  all, 
and  my  dear  E.will  have  cause  to  bless  God  throughout  eternity  for 
your  unwearied  efforts  and  prayers.  I  know  that  you  will  continue 
to  watch  over  her,  should  your  lives  be  prolonged,  and  this  is  to  me 
a  source  of  great  comfort. 

"  I  thank  you  for  conveying  to  me  the  lesson  you  were  so  beauti- 
fully taught.  I  will  receive  it,  and  believe  that,  though  less  wortliy 
of  His  notice  than  that  little  head  of  clover,  because  I  do  not,  like 
it,  adequately  fulfil  the  purpose  of  my  existence,  my  soul  will  be 
watered  by  the  dews  of  Heavenly  grace,  until  I  shall  be  transplanted 
into  that  blessed  region  where  the  '  sun  shall  not  light  on  me,  nor 
any  heat.' 

''  Our  Saviour  has  said  that  His  sheep  shall  never  perish,  and  as 
I  know  that  I  am  a  subject  of  redeeming  grace,  and  am  conscious 
that  my  Heavenly  Father  is  guiding  me  with  His  counsel,  I  do  not 
doubt  that  He  will  '  afterward  receive  me  to  glory.'  It  has  been  a 
long  time  since  a  doubt  on  this  subject  has  disturbed  my  mind,  and 
yet  I  feel  that  my  heart  is  very  sinful,  and  very  ungrateful.   I  know 


1836.]  FILIAL     ANXIETY.  175 

that  I  am  emphatically  called  upon  to  be  separate  from  the  world, 
and  to  labor  for  the  conversion  of  those  around  rae.  The  hand  of 
disease  presses  heavily  upon  me,  and  reminds  me  that  I  must,  ere 
long,  receive  a  summons  to  the  eternal  world.  This  impression  is  a 
very  pleasant  one.  But  I  do  wish,  while  my  life  is  continued,  to 
seek,  above  all  things,  the  glory  of  God.  Pray,  my  dear  Pastor,  that 
I  may  do  this,  and  be  enabled  to  rely,  with  more  simple  faith,  upon 
my  Saviour's  merits;  that  I  may  look  from  myself  to  Him,  and 
adoringly  behold  the  wonders  of  His  love.  I  feel  that  Jesus  is  my 
all  in  all,  and  desire  to  love  Him  more ;  in  heaven  my  heart  will 
not  be  cold.  I  suppose  you  have  heard  of  the  death  of  R.  H.  Her 
last  moments  were  deeply  interesting.  Another  is  added  to  '  the 
cloud  of  witnesses'  by  which  we  are  encompassed.  May  all  with 
whom  she  worshipped  in  God's  earthly  temple  be  re-united  to  her 
in  her  heavenly  kingdom." 

"  Temora,  Aug.  11.  —  Arrived  here  on  Monday.  Prayed 
with  E.,  and  desire  to  do  so  every  day.  I  felt  an  earnest 
desire  that  our  intercourse  should  be  profitable,  and  in  a  great 
degree  it  has  proved  so.  In  the  afternoon  we  went  down  to 
the  Neshamony,  and  I  read  to  E.  from  '  Clarke's  Scripture 
Promises  and  Sacred  Gems.'  I  felt  very  peaceful,  and  glad 
to  enjoy  once  more  the  beauties  of  nature. 

"  On  Friday  Mr.  R.  came  up  for  E.  We  were  much  shocked 
to  hear  that  our  mother,  our  precious  mother,  had  broken  her 
collar-bone,  and  was  detained  at  Lebanon.  I  felt  as  though 
I  should  faint  when  I  heard  this  news,  though  Mr.  R.  assured 
us  that  the  injury  is  thought  very  slight.  I  came  up  stairs, 
and  immediately  commended  our  beloved  parent  to  our  Hea- 
venly Father's  care,  with  strong  confidence ;  and  since,  though 
very  desirous  to  hear  from  her,  I  have  been  enabled  to  trust 
her  to  Him.     Oh,  may  He  sanctify  this  affliction." 

To  a  Relative. 

"  Temora,  Aug.  12,  1836. 

*     *     *     i(\  have  remained  in  the  country  much  longer  than  I 

anticipated  when  I  left  home,  and  have  enjoyed  my  sojourn  here 

very  much,  and  have,  I  think,  somewhat  improved,  though  it  is  my 

opinion  that  my  disease  is  slowly,  but  surely,  gaining  ground;  for, 


176  LETTER     TO     A     RELATIVE.  [1836. 

thnupih  my  appetite  is  much  better,  and  my  face  less  pallid,  I  am 
still  encompassed  around  and  about  by  '  often  infirmities.' 

"  These  afflictions  are  indeed  rendered  light  by  the  consciousness 
that  they  are  proofs  of  the  love  of  my  Heavenly  Father,  and  the 
bitterness  of  anticipated  suffering  is  all  taken  away  by  the  promise 
of  '  grace  to  help  in  time  of  need/  and  the  assurance  that,  as  my 
days,  shall  my  strength  be.  That  I  may  ever  be  enabled  with  pa- 
tience and  humility  to  suffer  the  will  of  God  is  my  constant  prayer, 
and  it  gives  me  pleasure  to  believe  that  I  have  your  prayers  for  my 
growth  in  grace,  and  '  in  the  knowledge  of  our  Lord  and  Saviour 
Jesus  Christ ;'  whom,  if  I  be  not  sadly  mistaken  in  my  own  heart, 
it  is  my  supreme  desire  to  love  and  to  glorify.  I  very  often  feel  a 
diffidence  in  speaking  of  these  things,  for  I  am  conscious  that  my 
attainments  in  religious  experience  are  of  a  very  humble  character, — • 
that  I  am,  indeed,  a  very  '  babe  in  Christ;'  but  I  do  not  doubt  that 
the  '  Lord  will  perfect  that  which  concerneth  me,'  and  that,  if  I 
depend  upon  His  sustaining  grace,  He  will  make  me  useful  to 
others. 

"  You,  my  dear  aunt,  are  a  very  encouraging  instance  of  the 
mercy  of  our  Heavenly  Father.  You  have  been  for  a  long  time 
sustained  in  the  '  way  everlasting,'  and  I  do  not  doubt  that  when 
you  have  ended  your  earthly  pilgrimage  you  will  obtain  a  happy  en- 
trance into  the  blessed  abode,  '  where  faith  is  sweetly  lost  in  sight, 
and  hope  in  full  supreme  delight,  and  everlasting  love.' 

"  Please  remember  me  very  affectionately  to  dear  M.  I  very  often 
think  of  her  with  affection  and  sympathy,  and  trust  that  she  is 
enabled  to  bow  with  submission  to  her  Heavenly  Father's  will,  and 
to  rejoice  in  the  hope  of  a  glorious  reunion  with  those  who  have 
been  so  blessed  as  to  have  been  admitted  before  her  into  the  city  of 
the  living  God,  '  the  general  assembly  and  church  of  the  First-born, 
whose  names  are  written  in  heaven.'  It  is  a  blessed  thing  to  know 
that  in  the  case  of  our  dear  departed  friends  has  been  brought  to 
pass  the  saying,  '  Death  is  swallowed  up  in  victory.'     Remember  me 

also  to  Mrs.  .     I  feel  a  very  sincere  interest  in  her  welfare, 

and  it  is  my  frequent  prayer  that  the  strength  of  Jesus  may  be 
hers.     *     *     * 

"Yesterday,  went  to  church.  Enjoyed  the  service  very 
much.  The  sermon  was  on  the  atonement.  It  was  excellent. 
I  long  for  the  time  when  this  community  shall  perfectly  know 


1836.]  PATIENCE    or    HOPE.  177 

our  Lord  Jesus  Christ  to  be  tlie  Way,  the  Truth  and  the 
Life." 

"  Wednesday.  —  Was  enabled  to  preserve,  in  some  degree, 
a  Sahhatli-day  spirit.  In  the  afternoon  went  to  see  P.,  and 
walked  home.  I  found  in  this  old  woman  a  melancholy  proof 
that  old  age,  sickness  and  poverty  do  not,  in  themselves, 
overcome  the  love  of  the  world.  I  read,  talked  and  prayed 
with  her.  I  thought  I  would  do  my  duty,  and  leave  the  rest 
to  God.  I  think  it  likely  that  she  had  never  seen  any  one 
kneel  before. 

"  Yesterday  I  was  much  depressed  by  hearing  some  in- 
stances of  the  depravity  of  human  nature,  and  felt  thankful 
that  there  is  a  Saviour  of  sinners.  Oh,  how  wretched  would 
be  our  lot,  had  we  always  to  remain  in  darkness  and  the 
shadow  of  death !  Blessed  Jesus  !  Thou  hast  brought  life 
and  immortality  to  light,  and  I  pray  Thee  to  hasten  the  day 
when  the  light  of  truth  shall  illuminate  the  whole  world.  I 
do  sometimes  long  for  that  happy  period  when,  '  at  the  name 
of  Jesus,  every  knee  shall  bow.' 

"  I  have  had  some  happy  thoughts  of  heaven  lately.  To 
be  free  from  sin  and  temptation  for  ever  and  ever  ;  to  know 
God  ;  to  see  Him  as  he  is ;  to  praise  Him  aright,  and  to 
comprehend  the  love  of  Christ.  Oh,  when  shall  all  this  be 
my  happy  experience  ?  I  must  be  content  to  suflfer  and  to 
labor  until  the  time  of  my  deliverance  shall  come.  Father, 
Thy  will  be  done  ;  give  me  grace  to  rely  solely  upon  my  Re- 
deemer's merits,  and  to  glorify  Thee  by  action  and  endu- 
rance. Make  me  the  means  of  converting  many  souls.  Let 
me  be  strong  in  Thy  strength,  and  then  I  shall  be  with  Thee 
forever." 

Rev.  Dr.  Clarh  to  Miss  Allihone. 

Fairfield,  August  23d,  1836. 
"My  dear  Friend,  —  I  have  deferred  answering  your  kind  letter 
so  long,  that  I  have  deprived  myself  of  the  pleasure  of  receiving  a 
reply  to  this,  as  we  purpose  to  leave  here  for  Philadelphia  in  about 
M 


178  LETTER     FROM     DR.     CLARK.  [1836. 

a  week.  It  is  possible,  however,  you  niny  be  still  in  the  country, 
and  that  your  friends  will  forward  this  to  you,  and  in  that  case,  I 
shall  expect  to  hear  from  you  after  I  get  to  Philadelphia. 

"  I  have,  within  a  few  days,  finished  the  memoir  of  dear  Anzo- 
netto;  and  ever  since  I  laid  it  aside,  I  feel  somewhat  like  one  that 
is  bereaved.  For  a  long  time  have  I  been  cultivating  an  intimate 
acquaintance  with  this  young  saint,  and  watching  her  upward  course, 
as  she  ascended  higher  and  higher  in  her  path  of  Christian  attain- 
ment, till  at  length  I  saw  her  stand  on  an  eminence  far  above 
myself,  and  almost  out  of  sight;  and,  then,  while  I  still  gazed  upon 
her,  her  spirit,  as  though  etherealized  by  her  near  approach  to  the 
celestial  world,  quit  its  clay  tenement,  and  stretching  its  wings, 
soared  aloft  to  the  presence  of  God.  As  she  followed  Christ,  so  may 
we  follow  her  till  we  reach  the  same  blessed  abode.  As  you  promise 
yourself  some  enjoyment  in  the  perusal  of  this  memoir,  I  thought 
it  might  be  interesting  to  you  to  know  that  it  will  shortly  be  sent 
to  the  press. 

"I  rejoice  to  know  that  your  afflictions  are  leading  you  to  look 
more  to  eternal  things,  and  to  feel  willing  to  part  with  the  world 
and  be  with  Christ;  and  I  particularly  rejoice  that  you  are  enabled 
to  '  read  your  title  clear  to  mansions  in  the  skies.'  This  is  a  great 
privilege,  and  when  at  times  you  feel  depressed  to  think  your  heart 
is  so  cold,  and  that  you  love  God  so  little,  remember  what  God  has 
done  for  you,  and  begin  to  thank  him  for  his  mercies,  and  to  recount 
his  blessings,  and  while  you  are  engaged  in  this  act  of  praise  you 
will  feel  your  heart  burn  within  you.  I  would  write  you  a  long 
letter,  but  the  mail  is  just  ready  to  close,  and  so  I  must  wish  the 
blessing  of  God  upon  you  and  bid  jou/arcivell." 

"  2Sth,  SahhatJi.  —  I  desire  to  return  humble  and  hearty 
thanks  for  the  blessings  which  have  been  vouchsafed  me  this 
day.  It  has  been  the  most  happy  Sabbath  I  have  passed 
here.  Went  to  church  with  great  joy,  and  was  very  much 
dclig-hted  to  see  M.  E.  consecrate  herself  to  the  service  of 
God  in  the  blessed  rite  of  baptism.  I  prayed  for  her  with 
sincerity,  and  desired  that  the  impressive  scene  might  be  the 
means  of  the  conversion  of  many.  I  felt  in  haste  to  see  one 
and  another  of  this  congregation  come  up  to  give  themselves 
to  the  Lord  in  the  bond  of  an  everlasting  covenant. 


1836.  DESIRE    TO    WIN    SOULS.  179 

"  The  sermon  was  of  Jesus,  and  I  know  it  will  be  blessed. 
I  could  not  help  shedding  tears  as  I  returned  home,  and 
prayed  for  this  flock. 

"  But  it  is  dark :  this  blessed,  beautiful  Sabbath-day  is 
almost  past." 

^^  Sept.  3c?.  —  I  could  not  go  to  church,  so  I  resolved  tc 
spend  the  day  as  raucli  as  possible  in  communion  with  mj 
Heavenly  Father.  I  did  not  forget  that  it  was  our  commu 
nion  Sabbath,  and  asked  for  an  especial  blessing,  though  de- 
prived of  this  ordinance.  I  read  and  prayed  over  the  service 
with  many  tears  and  yearnings  after  more  grace.  In  the 
evening  I  heard  the  boys  read  in  the  Testament,  and  talked 
and  prayed  with  them.  Every  night,  after  I  retire,  Violet 
comes  into  my  room  and  reads  me  a  chapter.  I  give  her  the 
best  advice  I  can,  and  pray  with  her.  I  have  many  other 
opportunities  of  trying  to  win  souls  to  Christ,  and  though  it 
is  a  trial  to  be  away  from  home  under  present  circumstances, 
I  am  perfectly  willing  to  stay  here  as  long  as  it  shall  be  tbe 
Lord's  will.  In  all  my  ways  I  will  acknowledge  Him,  and 
He  shall  direct  my  paths.  I  find  I  have  some  influence  here. 
God  has  given  it  to  me,  and  I  desire  to  use  it  for  His  glory. 
It  is  not  myself  I  would  recommend,  but  the  cross  of  Christ. 
I  know,  however,  that  my  heart  is  very  deceitful,  and  I  often 
pray  that  if  God  sees  I  would  not  give  Him  the  glory,  were 
he  to  make  me  useful.  He  will  not  suffer  the  conversion  of 
souls  to  be  hindered  by  my  sinfulness,  but  will  give  me  purity 
of  motive,  and  forbid  that  I  should  glory  save  in  the  cross  of 
Christ,  by  whom  I  beseech  Him  to  crucify  me  unto  the  world, 
and  the  world  unto  me." 

^'■Sept.  8tli.  —  The  sun  is  just  setting,  and  a  more  beautiful 
scene  cannot  be  readily  imagined.  I  have  just  returned 
from  my  favorite  resort,  the  banks  of  the  Neshamony,  where 
cousin  J.  has  placed  a  seat  for  me.  Every  thing  around  was 
bright  and  beautiful.  ^God  is  love,'  is  plainly  indicated  by 
all  His  works.     Oh,  that  my  heart  were  filled  with  love  to 


180  CHRISTIAN     ACTIVITY.  [1836. 

Him  !  Several  times,  lately,  I  have  felt  oppressed  with  a 
sense  of  ingratitude,  while  surveying  the  Avorks  of  creation. 
I  have  longed  for  a  new  song  of  praise.  I  want  to  love  God 
supremely,  to  forget  -rnyaelf,  and  to  give  thanks  to  Him  for 
His  great  glory.  He  surely  will  enahle  me  to  do  so.  More 
than  two  days  of  my  solitude  have  passed.  I  feel  this  a  season 
of  uncommon  privilege. 

"  Qth.  —  I  am  well  convinced  that  'it  is  not  solitude  to  be 
alone.'  I  have  been  again  to  Ncshamony,  and  I  never  saw 
the  prospect  so  lovely.  I  met  a  boy  in  the  road,  who  said  he 
would  not  mind  going  to  Sunday  School,  if  there  were  one 
near.  Oh,  that  there  were  !  I  will  pray  more  for  one.  I 
cannot  teach  myself.  I  think  Sunday  School  teachers  ought 
to  think  themselves  highly  privileged." 

To  her  ^islcr  S. 

"Sept.  18,  1836. 

"  I  write  to  you,  my  dear  Sister,  to  express  my  earnest  desire  that 
you  shall  be  a  very  active  Christian.  I  want  you  to  consecrate  your- 
self, all  that  you  have  and  are,  to  the  service  of  the  Lord,  and  to 
use  all  your  influence  for  His  glory.  If  your  life  should  be  spared, 
I  expect  you  to  be  the  means  of  the  conversion  of  many  souls.  You 
may  be  surprised  at  this  language,  and  tell  me  that  you  are  not  sure 
that  you  are  yourself  a  Christian,  and  that  until  you  shall  have 
made  more  exalted  attainments  in  piety,  you  will  be  unfit  to  instruct 
others.  My  dear  Sister,  you  have  no  time  to  lose  !  Very  soon 
both  you,  and  the  immortal  beings  by  whom  you  are  surrounded, 
will  have  ended  the  term  of  earthly  existence ;  and  I  do  entreat  you, 
for  yourself  and  for  them,  to  'work  while  it  is  called  to-day.'  Do 
not  hesitate  to  cordially  accept  the  terms  of  salvation  ;  '  be  not  faith- 
less but  believing,'  and  then,  when  you  have  done  this  —  but  this 
step  I  trust  has  been  already  taken  —  say,  '  Lord,  what  wilt  Thou 
have  me  to  do  ?'  Pray  for  love  for  souls ;  pray  for  a  strong  convic- 
tion of  the  danger  of  those  who  are  out  of  Christ,  and  do  not  hesi- 
tate to  faithfully  warn  them  of  a  'judgment  to  come.'  I  know  that 
you  have  made  many  efforts  for  the  good  of  others,  and  I  cannot 
express  the  pleasure  which  this  conviction  gives  me.  If  your  ener- 
gies were  fully  awakened  on  this  subject,  I  feel  assured  that  you 
would  be  uncommonly  useful.     You  have  viany  talents,  and  I  wish 


1836.]  LETTER    TO    A    SISTER.  181 

them  to  be  employed  ia  the  advancement  of  our  Redeemer's  king- 
dom. I  wish  you  to  render  all  your  time,  all  your  means,  as  far  as 
in  you  lies,  conducive  to  this  great  end. 

"And  as  a  Mother,  my  beloved  sister,  how  great  is  your  respon- 
sibility !  I  hope  your  sense  of  it  is  daily  increasing,  and  that  you 
offer  many  prayers  for  heavenly  wisdom.  I  have  great  hopes  for 
W.  I  have  been  long  under  the  impression  that  he  may  be  intended 
for  great  usefulness  in  the  Lord's  vineyard.  This  is  my  only  ambi- 
tion for  him,  and  I  know  that  you  covet  for  him  the  '  best  gifts.' 
Let  our  united  prayers  ascend  to  the  mercy-seat,  that  God  will  grant 
him  all  spiritual  blessings  in  Christ  Jesus,  and  let  us  expect  the  im- 
mediate fulfilment  of  our  wishes.  He  already  evinces  uncommon 
interest  in  the  things  of  eternity,  and  I  want  him  every  day  to  '  grow 
in  grace  and  in  the  knowledge  of  our  Lord  and  Saviour  Jesus 
Christ.'  Then,  even  though  he  should  be  in  early  life  called  to  his 
heavenly  home,  he  will  add  another  to  the  cloud  of  xcitnesscs.  I 
hope  you  will  ever  'seek  jSrst;'  for  him  '  the  kingdom  of  God  and  his 
righteousness,'  and  that,  whenever  you  are  about  to  take  any  step  in 
relation  to  him,  you  will  consider  what  bearing  it  may  have  upon  his 
immortal  destiny.  I  cannot  express  my  love  for  this  dear  boy ;  it  is 
of  a  very  peculiar  nature,  and  I  feel  interested  in  you  for  his  sake, 
almost  as  much  as  for  your  own.  And  let  me  earnestly  entreat  you, 
my  dear  sister,  to  teach  him  to  '  keep  holy  the  Sabbath-day.'  Make 
this  a  subject  of  constant  prayer,  for  much  depends  upon  it.  I  never 
knew  a  happy  or  a  devoted  Christian  who  did  not  'call  the  Sabbath 
a  delight,  the  holy  of  the  Lord.'  Pray  for  a  blessing  on  this  day, 
during  the  week,  and  you  will  certainly  receive  it;  every  return  of 
this  season  will  become  more  hallowed. 

"  I  know  that  you  will  not  think  me  presumptuous  because  I  write 
thus;  you  have  ever  kindly  received  my  assurances  of  Christian 
interest,  and  I  hope  I  should  not  be  less  willing  to  receive  advice 
from  you."     *     *     * 

"  20?^. —  How  could  I  endure  this  suffering,  did  I  not  pos- 
sess the  consolations  of  religion  ?  How  ■wretched  would  be 
my  lot !  I  thank  Thee,  my  Heavenly  Father,  for  Thy  sus- 
taining and  quickening  grace.  Thou  art,  indeed,  a  very 
present  help. 

"  Last  evening  I  taught  the  boys  with  great  pleasure,  and 
prayed  with  them  with  more  interest  than  usual.     Oh,  that 

16 


182  TO    A    NEPHEW.  [1836. 

I  felt  more  love  for  their  souls  !     I  will  pray  for  more,  and 
God  will  give  it  to  me. 

"After  having  talked  to  Hannah,  a  little  girl  of  eight  or 
nine  years  of  age,  "who  told  me  she  had  never  heard  of  the 
Saviour,  I  went  over  to  Joseph's,  feeling  unwilling  to  leave 
this  place  without  warning  them  once  more  of  their  danger, 
and  beseeching  them  to  seek  salvation.  I  did  so,  and  was 
thankful  to  see  that  they  appeared  solemn,  especially  J.'s 
mother,  who  is  a  very  wicked  old  woman.  I  did  pray  fer- 
vently with  them,  and  for  them. 

To  her  NepTieio. 

*'  Friday  eve. 

"Yes,  dear  "W.,  Aunt  Sue  has  come  home,  and  very  glad  she 
would  be  could  she  have  her  precious  boy  with  her.  Christmas  will 
soon  be  here,  and  then  I  hope  to  enjoy  that  pleasure.  My  visit  to 
the  country  was  very  deligbtfuL  We  had  walks  and  rides;  and  the 
most  happy  hours  were  passed  in  my  own  room,  in  prayer  and  the 
study  of  the  blessed  Bible.  Is  thee  not  glad,  dear  W.,  that  our 
Heavenly  Father  has  revealed  His  will  in  His  holy  Word  ?  Let  us 
read  it  with  earnest  prayer,  and  then  we  shall  be  guided  into  all 
truth ;  and,  above  all,  let  us  seek  to  know  more  of  our  dear  Re- 
deemer. It  is  my  constant  prayer,  my  dear  boy,  that  thy  life  may 
be  devoted  to  His  service.  I  want  thee  first  to  give  thy  own  heart 
to  the  Saviour,  and  then  to  strive  to  persuade  others  to  love  Him. 
Does  thee  love  to  pray?  —  to  enter  into  thy  closet,  and  pray  to  'thy 
Father  which  seeth  in  secret'?  Remember  that  He  has  said,  'They 
who  seek  me  early  shall  find  me.' 

'A  very  sweet  little  boy  of  ten  years,  who  attended  bur  Sunday 
School,  was  very  suddenly  called  into  another  world  a  short  time 
since.  He  asked  Mrs.  Bedell,  some  time  ago,  if  she  would  not  teach 
him  to  be  good,  and  she  told  him  to  come  to  her  every  Sunday  after- 
noon, and  she  would  instruct  him.  Some  time  ago  he  asked  bis 
mother  to  change  some  money  into  pennies.  She  asked  him  what 
he  wished  to  do  with  them ;  he  told  her  that  he  wished  to  put  them 
into  the  missionary-box,  and  said,  '  Will  not  that  be  giving  to  the 
Lord  V  I  hope  he  is  now  in  that  bright  and  happy  world  which  is 
prepared  for  the  redeemed.  How  I  do  long  to  go  there  !  Shall  we 
not  together  sing  our  Saviour's  love,  my  precious  W.  ?     Oh,  do  come 


1836.]  DOCTRINE    OP    THE    TRINITY.  183 

now,  and  say  —  'Here,  Lord,  I  give  myself  away;   'tis  all  that  I 
can  do !'  " 

"N'ov.  IStJi.  —  On  Friday  afternoon,  I  was  again  at  our 
beloved  Bible-class.  Felt  unusually  happy.  Our  lesson  was 
short,  but  very  practical,  as  it  always  is.  It  referred  to  the 
mediation  of  our  Redeemer.  I  trust  that  doctrine  is  becom- 
ing more  precious  to  me.  I  have  been  reading,  this  after- 
noon, some  of  the  predictions  which  relate  to  the  Saviour's 
coming,  and  to  His  character.  He  is  '  the  mighty  God,  the 
everlasting  Father,' — and  I  desire  to  honor  Him  as  I  Avould 
honor  the  first  person  in  the  glorious  Trinity.  Oh,  I  love 
the  doctrine  of  the  Trinity,  and  hope  my  faith  in  it  will  more 
and  more  increase.  '  Lord,  wilt  Thou  grant  me  in  all  things 
a  knowledge  of  the  truth!  I  thank  Thee  that  I  am  not  left 
to  lean  upon  my  own  understanding,  but  that  Thy  blessed 
Spirit  is  my  teacher.  Make  me  more  humble,  I  beseech 
Thee,  so  that,  as  a  little  child,  I  may  sit  at  the  feet  of 
Jesus. 

'•'•Nov.  22(7. —  In  the  evening,  was  so  overcome  by  pain  and 
nervous  feeling  that  I  shed  many  tears.  This  is  something 
very  unusual,  and  I  desire  to  feel,  more  than  ever,  my  need 
of  help  from  above.  I  had  felt  better,  and  did  not  pray  so 
earnestly  for  grace  to  endure  suffering, —  and  it  is,  no  doubt, 
on  this  account  that  I  was  not  able  to  bear  it  better.  I  did 
not  feel  like  murmuring,  though.  For  ten  thousand  worlds, 
I  would  not  have  one  murmuring  thought.  I  hope  my 
Heavenly  Father  will  do  with  me  and  for  me  as  is  best  in  His 
sight.  On  Sunday  evening  I  had  a  long  talk  with  L.,  and 
prayed  with  her.  On  Monday  we  had  another  talk.  She  is 
deeply  impressed,  but  has  been  so  long  hesitating  on  this 
subject,  that  I  am  uneasy  about  her.  It  is  a  dangerous  thing 
to  defer  a  decision.  So  many  of  my  friends  have  disappointed 
my  hopes  recently,  that  I  cannot  feel  secure  until  an  awakened 
person  is  in  the  Ark  of  safety. 

'•'•Dec.  6tli.  —  I  should  be  delighted,  could  I  record  the 


184  ENCOURAGEMENT.  [1836. 

events  of  the  last  ten  days.  I  think  the  last  week  has  been, 
decidedly,  the  happiest  I  have  ever  passed.  Dear  L.'s  se- 
rious impressions  continued  to  increase,  and  I  persuaded  her 
to  ask  counsel  of  my  dear  Pastor  last  Wednesday  Aveek. 
While  he  was  urging  on  her  the  necessity  of  an  immediate 
surrender  of  her  heart  to  God,  she  exclaimed  emphatically, 
'  I  will  decide  !'  How  joyous  a  sensation  did  these  words 
excite ! 

"  I  called,  on  my  way  home,  on  Mrs.  C,  to  try  to  persuade 
her  to  he  on  the  Lord's  side,  hut  was  not  much  encouraged. 
I  told  her  I  would  continue  to  persecute  her  on  the  subject 
as  long  as  my  life  should  continue,  or  until  she  became 
offended,  or  induced  to  accept  the  terms  of  salvation  —  so 
help  me  God. 

"  L.,  after  this  decision,  felt  much  happier,  and  went  again 
to  see  Mr.  C,  who  gave  her  the  questions.  She  returned 
home  very  much  agitated.  I  prayed  with  her,  and  she 
answered  the  questions,  and  resolved  to  be  baptized  on 
Wednesday  evening.  On  Wednesday  morning  we  paid  a 
visit  to  Mr.  C,  which  I  enjoyed  very  much.  The  day,  alto- 
gether, was  unusually  happy. 

"  On  Thursday  I  very  unexpectedly  went  again  to  Dr.  K.'s, 
and  staid  until  Saturday  evening.  I  had  some  very  sweet 
seasons  of  intercourse  with  the  Dr.,  who  is  rapidly  hastening 
to  his  heavenly  home.  I  read  the  Bible  to  him  very  often, 
and  listened  with  interest  to  his  comments.  I  felt  constrained 
to  pray  with  him,  and  was  very  glad  that  I  obeyed  the  im- 
pulse, though  I  could  scarcely  summon  courage  to  do  so. 
While  there,  I  enjoyed  delightful  communion  with  my 
Heavenly  Father,  and  I  trust  I  shall  retain  the  solemn  and 
peaceful  impressions  that  were  the  result  of  my  intercourse 
with  the  Doctor.  How  desirable  does  his  situation  appear  to 
me  !     He  is  very  near  heaven. 

"  To-day  I  have  been  more  depressed  than  I  have  been  for 
a  long  time ;  have  suffered  very  much,  and  have  borne  it  with 


1837.]  DELIGHT    IN    THE    WORD.  185 

less  cheerfulness ;  have  felt,  too,  in  some  degree,  disposed  to 
be  irritable.  Went  to  God  with  all  my  sins,  in  the  name  of 
Jesus,  .and  He  gave  me  strength  to  bear  pain  better,  and  I 
felt  more  comfortable. 


CHAPTER    IX. 

1837. 

Office  of  Sponsor  —  Letter  to  a  Sister  after  Baptism  —  Feelings  at  Wit- 
nessing Confirmation — Visit  to  a  Dying  Believer — Bucks  County — 
Letter  alluding  to  her  Sufferings  —  Feelings  at  the  Prevalence  of  De- 
pravity—  Spiritual  Ignorance  and  Destitution  —  Buchanan's  Memoir 
—  Dr.  Clark's  Ill-Health  and  Leave-Taking  —  Close  of  1837. 

'■'■Jan.  Qth,  1837.  —  This  morning  I  have  experienced  a  pe- 
culiar melting  of  heart  in  the  perusal  of  the  4th  chapter  of 
Ephesians.  The  Word  of  God  is  very  pure,  therefore  I  love 
it.  I  do  earnestly  desire  that  the  holy  doctrines  contained 
in  the  Word  of  God  may  be  deeply  impressed  upon  my  heart, 
and  exemplified  in  my  conduct.  I  want  to  see  more  and  more 
of  the  beauty  of  holiness.  I  want  to  be  like  my  Saviour.  0, 
blessed  Jesus,  Thou  art  my  Guide,  my  all  in  all. 

"  Yesterday  I  spent  at  Dr.  K.'s.  My  interest  in  him  is 
very  great.  I  was  very  happy  that  I  was  enabled  to  com- 
fort him  with  the  comfort  wherewith  I  am  comforted  of  God. 
His  aspirations  after  more  intimate  communion  with  the  Sa- 
viour were  very  earnest,  but  from  the  temptations  of  the 
enemy,  and  the  influence  of  fever,  his  mind  was  somewhat 
clouded.  I  read  and  repeated  many  hymns  and  promises 
which  were  refreshing  to  him.  I  desire  that  this  intercourse 
with  one  who  has  so  nearly  closed  his  earthly  pilgrimage  may 
be  deeply  sanctified  to  my  soul.  And  now,  while  I  possess 
some  mental  vigor  and  bodily  strength,  I  desire,  pray  and 
resolve,  in  the  strength  of  Jesus, 

16* 


186  DIARY.  [1837. 

'  That  all  my  powers,  with  all  their  might, 
In  God's  sole  glory  shall  unite.' 

*'  12th.  — Yesterday  I  was  offended  because  I  was  opposed 
in  an  intention  I  expressed  to  persuade  a  professor  of  religion 
to  stay  away  from  the  theatre.  I  was  in  great  suffering  and 
was  irritable.  Oh,  how  much  grace  I  need !  I  wish  to  be 
truly  humbled,  to  depend  entirely  upon  strength  from  above, 
since  I  have  none  of  my  own.  0  Lord,  wilt  Thou  make  me 
more  and  more  humble,  and  wilt  Thou  enable  me  to  prize, 
much  more  than  I  ever  have  done,  the  merits  and  mediation 
of  my  dear  Redeemer.  This  week  I  have  not  enjoyed  as  much 
as  usual.  I  think  it  is  because  my  devotions  have  been  so 
much  interrupted.  I  must  rise  earlier.  If  I  were  able,  I 
think  I  would  spend  several  hours  in  communion  with  God  be- 
fore breakfast. 

"  loth.  —  Another  of  my  friends  has  joined  the  spirits  of 
just  men  made  perfect.  He  is  now  with  the  Lord,  and  will 
be  with  Him  forever.  Oh,  what  a  blessed  transition !  There 
is  nothing  gloomy  in  the  death  of  a  Christian. 

"  25fZ!.  —  I  have  felt  some  holy  desires,  this  evening,  and 
some  sweet,  peaceful  feelings.  I  have  been  reading  a  letter 
of  Miss  Jewsbury  addressed  to  a  friend  who  mourns  the  im- 
portance which  secondary  things  possess  in  this  state  of  ex- 
istence, and  the  prevalence  of  folly  and  sin,  with  feelings  of 
morbid  sensibility,  rather  than  a  desire  to  amend  the  evils  she 
deplored.  I  too  have  had  many  sorrowful  thoughts  on  this 
subject,  and  I  would  avail  myself  of  Miss  J.'s  instructions, 
and  constantly  offer  at  a  Throne  of  Grace  the  inquiry,  '  Lord, 
Avhat  wilt  Thou  have  me  to  do  ?'  and  the  prayer,  that  He  will 
make  all  things  work  together  for  good  to  me,  and  to  each 
of  His  children.  Why  do  I  not  love  God  more,  and  serve 
Him  better  ?  Why  have  I  not  a  more  vivid  sense  of  His  pre- 
sence ?  0  may  I  henceforth  seek  Him  more  diligently,  and 
He  will  give  me  abundance  of  grace. 

"  I  have  been  quite  sick  during  the  last  five  or  six  days  — 


1837.]  PRAYER.  187 

not  Tvell  enough  to  sit  up,  and  scarcely  to  read.  I  have  not 
lived  very  near  my  Heavenly  Father.  I  want  those  interrup- 
tions, to  which  I  am  so  constantly  exposed,  to  do  me  more  good, — 
to  make  me  more  watchful  and  prayerful.  When  I  am  unahle 
to  leave  the  room  to  attend  to  my  devotions,  I  find  great  diffi- 
culty, but  I  will  offer  any  kind  of  prayer  rather  than  none  at 
all.  Prayer  is,  indeed,  my  '  vital  breath.'  How  thankful  I 
should  be  that  it  is  so  !  '  Thanks  be  to  God  for  His  unspeak- 
able gift !' 

"28^/?,  Saturday  evening. — What  pure  and  exquisite  hap- 
piness do  I  enjoy  in  the  society  of  my  beloved  family  !  My 
dear  mother's  bright  face  and  kind  words  gladden  my  heart. 

^'■Feh.  6th.  —  I  was  permitted,  yesterday,  to  partake  of  the 
Communion,  and  very  much  I  enjoyed  this  ordinance.  My 
mind  was  at  peace  and  I  was  very  prayerful.  I  could  praise 
the  Lord  all  day, — I  felt  more  happy  than  usual,  and  in  the 
evening,  particularly,  my  heart  so  overflowed  with  gratitude 
that  I  was  constrained  to  offer  the  sacrifice  of  thanksgivino; 
with  my  dear  mother  and  sisters. 

"  On  Friday  afternoon  I  was  strong  enough  to  go  to  Bible 
class,  and  found  it  very  profitable.  There  I  heard  of  another 
instance  of  God's  goodness  in  having  permitted  one  of  His 
servants  to  depart  this  life  in  His  faith  and  fear.  I  love  to 
hear  of  these  things.  I  could  not  go  to  prayer-meeting  on 
Saturday  evening,  but  received  a  blessing  at  home.  An  event 
occurred,  on  that  evening,  which  I  shall  ever  remember  with 
gratitude.  I  am  more  and  more  convinced  of  the  sanctifying 
influence  of  the  doctrines  contained  in  the  Bible,  and  I  wish 
that  those  who  oppose  religion  on  account  of  the  inconsis- 
tency of  its  professors,  Avould  examine  the  Bible  and  see  foi' 
themselves  what  religion  is,  and  then  themselves  become  the 
living  epistles  of  its  truth.  How  much  better  this  would  be  ! 
How  desirous  I  feel  to  exemplify  the  beauty  of  holiness,  so 
that  I  may  never  injure  the  cause  of  Christ.  I  want  to  be 
very  humble.  '  Hold  Thou  me  up,  and  I  shall  be  safe,  and 
I  will  have  respect  unto  Thy  statutes  continually.' 


188  OFFICE    OF    SPONSOR.  [1837. 

"  10th.  —  The  hallowed  season  of  Lent  commenced  last 
Wednesday.  At  twilight  I  was  interrupted  in  my  season  of 
prayer.  I  hurried  up  stairs  after  tea,  and  was  again  inter- 
rupted. I  could  not  go  into  a  cold  room,  as  it  gave  me  cold 
before,  and  all  I  could  do  was  to  be  still,  and  try  to  commune 
with  God  in  the  presence  of  others.  This  had  a  good  effect, 
for  it  made  me  long  for  heaven,  where  I  shall  enjoy  uninter- 
rupted and  eternal  communion  with  God,  through  the  infinite 
merits  of  my  Redeemer. 

^^Feh.  2Qth^  Sunday.  —  My  cold  heart  has  been  more 
warmed  with  spiritual  affections  this  evening,  than  for  a  long 
time  past.  I  greatly  desired  to  go  to  church,  as  Confirma- 
tion was  to  be  administered ;  but  I  knew  the  exertion  would 
injure  me,  and  my  conscience  would  not  let  me  go.  I  was  so 
happy  as  to  spend  nearly  all  the  evening  alone,  —  yet  not 
alone,  for  God  has  been  with  me.  Oh  !  He  is  better  unto  me 
than  all  the  world  beside,  and  I  do  desire  to  live  nearer  to 

Him.     I  have  been  writing  a  note  to with  many  tears, 

urging  her  to  come  out  on  the  Lord's  side. 

'■'•BlarcJi  2d.  —  I  have  tahen  upon  me  a  new  and  very  heavy 
responsibility  in  becoming  sponsor  for  little  K.  F.  I  thought 
that  some  one  in  better  health  would  be  more  desirable,  but 
Mrs.  F.  expressed  so  great  a  desire  that  I  should  assume  this 
ofiice  that  I  did  not  think  it  right  to  i*efuse.  May  I  be  en- 
dued with  grace  to  pray  constantly  and  earnestly  for  this 
dear  child.  May  I  yearn  over  her  in  the  bowels  of  Jesus 
Christ.  In  life  may  I  set  her  a  holy  example,  and  in  death, 
leave  for  her  benefit  a  testimony  of  the  faithfulness  of  a 
covenant  God. 

"  It  was  interesting  to  see  Mrs.  F.  standing  at  the  chancel 
with  her  six  children,  consecrating  them  to  the  service  of  Him 
who  gave  them  to  her.  May  He  accept  the  offering,  for  the 
sake  of  the  Friend  of  little  children. 

"  I  have  made  more  effort  than  usual,  this  day,  for  the  good 
of  others.     I  have  enjoyed  the  privilege  of  conversing  with 


1837.]  THE     DESIRE    ACCOMPLISHED.  189 

several  who  fear  the  Lord,  and  have  received  a  letter  inform- 
ing me  that  a  prayer-hearing  Jehovah  has  guided  one  of  His 
children  into  a  path  of  duty  which  has  been,  until  recently, 
very  obscure.  '  Wait  upon  the  Lord,'  —  there  is  nothing  like 
it.  I  hope  I  shall  be  enabled  to  '  let  my  life  show  forth  Thy 
praise,'  my  Heavenly  Father  !  Forever  blessed  be  Thy  holy 
name. 

^^3Iarch  5th,  Sunday.  —  This  morning  I  drew  near  the 
table  of  the  Lord,  to  receive  the  emblems  of  His  dying  love. 
I  felt  very  prayerful  during  the  service, — very  comfortable 
indeed,  though  I  regretted  that  I  had  not  brighter  views  of 
Christ.  The  season  was  a  very  interesting  one.  Many  new 
communicants  were  added  to  our  number ;  and  very  affec- 
tionately do  I  pray  for  them.  Our  dear  Pastor  preached  a 
very  encouraging  sermon.  The  text  was  '  Looking  unto 
Jesus.'  My  heart  was  softened.  I  felt  that  Jesus  had  been 
my  Friend,  my  best  Friend ;  that  He  is  even  now  bestowing 
upon  me  blessings  which  He  has  purchased  with  His  own  pre- 
cious blood ;  and  I  desire  to  renew  my  faith,  and  love  and 
allegiance  to  His  service. 

'Jesus,  I  my  cross  have  taken, 
All  to  leave,  and  follow  Theo.' 

"  I  have  suffered  much  more  pain  than  usual,  to-day.  I  am 
thankful  for  the  grace  which  is  given  me  to  endure  it,  not 
only  with  submission,  but  gratitude.  As  my  sufferings  abound 
so  may  the  grace  of  God  much  more  abound.  May  I  ever 
realize  that  in  myself  I  possess  no  power  of  endurance,  and 
may  I  constantly  pray  to  be  '  strengthened  unto  all  long-suf- 
fering with  joy  fulness.'  " 

The  desire  accomplished  is  sweet  to  the  soul.  How 
true  is  this  when  the  holy  wishes  of  the  children  of  God,  for 
the  spiritual  good  of  those  Avho  are  linked  to  them  by  affec- 
tion's strongest  bonds,  are  gratified  !  It  pleased  the  Lord  to 
answer  the  prayers  and  bless  the  efforts  of  the  subject  of  this 


190  HER  sister's   baptism.  [1837. 

Memoir,  in  the  conversion  of  the  sister  to  whom  several  of 
the  letters  heretofore  inserted  were  addressed ;  one  whose 
bright  and  beautiful  course  ended  in  the  perfect  day,  while  ' 
Susan  was  languishing  in  her  chamber.  With  what  vivid 
emotions  of  gratitude  and  delight  the  latter  hailed  her  sister's 
entrance  into  the  fold  of  the  Heavenly  Shepherd,  the  follow- 
ing notice  in  her  Diary  testifies.  In  God's  salvation  how 
greatly  did  she  rejoice,  when  He  had  thus  given  her  her  heart's 
desire,  and  had  not  withholden  the  request  of  her  lips  ! 

"  lOtJi.  —  The  event  of  last  evening  will  never  be  forgotten. 
My  dear  brother  and  sister  made  a  public  profession  of  their 
faith  in  Christ,  promising  in  His  name  to  renounce  the  world, 
the  flesh  and  the  devil ;  and  I  feel  assured  that  they  will  be 
more  than  conquerors,  through  Him  who  hath  loved  them  and 
washed  them  from  their  sins  in  His  own  blood.  They  will  go 
from  strength  to  strength.  At  my  sister's  request,  I  again 
assumed  the  solemn  responsibility  of  a  witness.  May  I  be 
kept  by  the  power  of  God  in  the  strait  and  narrow  way,  so 
that  I  may  encourage  those  Avho  have  recently  set  out,  to 
press  toward  the  mark.  I  wish  to  be  humbled,  to  be  con- 
scious of  my  unfaithfulness,  my  helplessness,  so  that  I  may 
never  think  well  of  myself,  nor  trust  to  my  own  heart.  I  do 
not  know  how  much  I  need  the  sanctifying  grace  of  God.  Oh 
Lord,  'be  merciful  to  me  a  sinner!'  Forbid  that  I  should 
glory,  save  in  the  cross  of  Christ.' 

To  her   Sister. 

March,  1837. 
"  My  Precious  Sister  . —  Ever  beloved,  but  now  doubly  dear, 
may  the  Lord  bless  you  and  keep  you ;  may  the  Lord  lift  up  the 
light  of  His  countenance  upon  you,  even  as  He  has  done  !  I  want 
a  new  song  of  adoring  gratitude,  that  I  may  offer  Him  an  acceptablo 
sacrifice  of  thanksgiving  for  His  goodness  toward  you.  1  am  glad 
that  you  realize  and  expect  so  much  grace.  The  promise  is,  '  Open 
thy  mouth  wide,  and  I  will  fill  it.'  '  Only  believe,'  and  all  blessings 
shall  be  yours.  I  will,  and  do  pray  for  you,  and  even  my  prayers 
arc  heard,  for  our  dear  Redeemer's  sake ;  but  I  feel  that  I  ought  to 


1837.]  GOOD     FRIDAY.  191 

be  humbled  very  deeply  on  account  of  my  great  unfaithfulness  to- 
wards so  kind  and  merciful  a  Father. 

"  I  felt,  dear  sister,  while  I  was  standing?  near  you  at  the  time  you 
received  the  holy,  blessed  ordinance  of  baptism,  that  I  was  not  worthy 
to  be  your  sponsor,  and  that  I  must  commence  anew  my  Christian 
course.  Now,  dear  sister,  you  must  pray  for  me.  You  must  re- 
prove me  whenever  you  see  aught  that  is  contrary  to  the  will  of  God, 
for  now  that  your  eyes  are  opened,  you  will  see  that  I  am  a  very  im- 
perfect Christian.  I  trust  we  shall  be  '  quickeners  of  each  others' 
faith,'  that  we  shall  together  'grow  in  grace,  and  in  the  knowledge 
of  our  Lord  and  Saviour  Jesus  Christ.'  In  His  strength  I  will  en- 
deavor to  discharge  my  duty  towards  you.  I  will  pray  for  you  with  in- 
creased fervor  and  increased  faith.  We  will  both  '  look  unto  Jesus' 
as  our  example,  our  atonement,  our  Mediator,  our  all  in  all;  and 
looking  unto  Him,  we  shall  become  more  and  more  conformed  to 
His  image.  We  will  follow  after  holiness.  God  will  guide  us  with 
His  counsel,  and  afterwards  receive  us  to  glory.  He  will  never 
leave  nor  forsake  us.  He  'will  purely  purge  away  our  dross,  and 
take  away  our  sin.'  " 

^^March  25th.  — Yesterday  was  Good  Friday,  and  a  good 
Friday  it  was  to  me.  After  the  privileges  I  have  enjoyed 
I  should  '  awake,  stretch  every  nerve,  and  press  with  vigor 
on.'  In  the  morning  our  beloved  Pastor  preached  from  Zech. 
iv.  11.  He  spoke  much  of  the  sufferings  of  our  Redeemer, 
and  I  was  more  affected  by  the  contemplation  of  them  than 
almost  ever  before.  The  services  altogether  vrere  peculiarly 
affecting,  and  I  received  a  more  than  ordinary  blessing. 

"Attended  the  communicants'  meeting  in  the  afternoon. 
It  would  have  been  a  great  trial  to  have  been  prevented  from 
going.  It  was  a  most  solemn  season.  I  would  not  have  ex- 
changed my  feelings  there  for  any  excitement  of  earthly  plea- 
sure. My  whole  soul  was  melted.  Since  then  I  have  felt 
moi-e  happy  and  prayerful.  Nearly  three  days  of  this  week 
I  have  passed  in  solitude,  and  have  endeavored  to  humble 
myself  before  God. 

"  April  3ti — Yesterday  afternoon  the  event  occurred  to 
which  I  have  been  looking  forward  with  so  much  interest. 


192  ADDITIONS    TO    THE    CHURCH.  [1837. 

My  dear  W.  and  his  little  sister  were  solemnly  and  sincerely 
consecrated  to  God  in  the  rite  of  baptism.  It  was  an  affect- 
ing and  delightful  scene.  I  have  not  often  been  m.ore  over- 
come by  my  feelings.  I  felt  entire  faith  that  our  Heavenly 
Father  would  accept  the  offering,  and  great  thankfulness  that 
He  had  inclined  their  parents  to  make  it.  I  pray  for  grace 
to  labor  more  earnestly  for  these  dear  children,  and  to  pray 
more  fervently. 

^^  Sunday,  April  9th.  —  A  very  interesting  day  in  our 
church.  About  forty-five  are  receiving,  this  evening,  the 
solemn  rite  of  Confirmation.  The  Lord  has  raised  up  his 
power  and  come  among  us,  and  with  great  might  succored 
us.  We  should  magnify  His  holy  name  for  the  great  mercy 
He  has  evinced  towards  our  congregation.  I  do  feel  thank- 
ful and  happy  on  account  of  this  manifestation  of  His  good- 
ness, but  not  as  grateful  as  I  desire.  I  very  inadequately 
realize  the  value  of  the  soul.  May  the  Lord  enlighten  the 
eyes  of  my  understanding  more  and  more.  Lately  I  have 
prayed  with  increased  interest  for  the  welfare  of  our  church. 
I  have  in  some  degree  entered  upon  the  work  in  prayer,  but 
I  have  not  made  sufficient  efforts. 

"  This  morning  Mr.  C.  preached  from  the  text,  '  If  I  had 
not  spoken,  ye  had  not  had  sin,'  &c.  Oh,  that  it  may  be 
blessed  to  the  conversion  of  many  souls !  It  was  very  affect- 
ing to  see  so  many  persons  come  forward  to  confess  Christ, 
and  obey  His  Avill  in  the  ordinance  of  baptism.  Among  the 
number  were  nine  gentlemen.  I  do  pray  that  they  may  be 
faithful  soldiers  of  the  Cross  unto  their  lives'  end.  Very  few 
men  are  willing  to  become  disciples  of  the  Saviour.  It  is  a 
service  too  self-denying,  and  the  cares  of  this  world  press 
upon  them  so  heavily  that  they  forget  to  seek  fijst  the  King- 
dom of  God, — so  it  is  peculiarly  delightful  to  see  so  many 
now  coming  out  on  the  Lord's  side.  I  hope,  as  our  dear 
Pastor  says,  this  is  but  an  earnest  of  what  is  to  come. 

"We  had  an  encouraging  and  interesting  sermon  from  the 


1837.]  THE    BED    OF    LANGUISHING.  193 

2d  chap,  of  Ruth.  It  reminded  me  forcibly  of  one  on  the 
same  subject  from  my  Pastor  "vvho  is  now  in  heaven.  Oh, 
how  good  God  has  been  to  me  !  How  has  he  granted  me  the 
spiritual  food  I  ever  so  much  need  !  Of  me  much  will  be 
required.  Alas !  what  shall  I  render  to  the  Lord  ?  Coming 
home  from  church  I  felt  the  sweet  influences  of  the  Spirit." 

''^  April  IQth,  Sunday.  —  Another  Sabbath,  with  its  privi- 
leges and  responsibilities,  has  passed  away.  Its  'record  is 
on  high.'  The  blood  of  Jesus  Christ  must  wash  away  all  the 
sins  I  have  committed.  How  thankful  I  am  that  there  is  a 
Fountain  ever  open.  I  have  not  been  exposed  to  much  ex- 
ternal temptation  to-day,  but  have  been  much  troubled  with 
wandering  thoughts,  therefore  I  have  not  kept  the  Sabbath- 
day  holy." 

"  23£?,  Sunday  evening.  —  Scarcely  a  day  passes  in  which 
we  do  not  rejoice  together  in  our  domestic  happiness.  Our 
hearts  are  very  closely  united,  and  I  trust  this  union  will  be 
consummated  in  heaven." 

'■'■May  23(Z.  —  Yesterday  I  felt  much  more  love  for  souls 
than  usual,  and  desired  to  make  many  efforts  for  their  good; 
and  I  have  been  furnished  with  many  opportunities.  May  I 
ever  remember  that  God  only  giveth  the  increase.  I  went 
to-day  to  see  a  young  girl  whom  I  visited  twice  before  I 
went  to  the  country,  and  who,  I  thought,  would  ere  this  have 
entered  into  the  rest  that  remaineth  for  the  people  of  God, 
but  she  still  lingers  in  much  suffering.  Her  mind  is  kept  in 
perfect  peace,  being  stayed  upon  her  God.  It  is  affecting  to 
see  a  creature  so  young  and  beautiful  as  she,  stretched  upon 
a  bed  of  languishing ;  but  how  much  more  desirable  is  her 
situation  than  that  of  the  votaries  of  pleasure  !  Far  rather 
would  I  see  those  I  love  extended  upon  her  bed,  in  poverty 
and  in  pain,  than  in  the  possession  of  earth's  richest  trea- 
sures, yet  unmindful  of  the  world  to  come.  Lord,  grant  that 
each  member  of  my  family  may  be  an  inheritor  of  Thy  king- 
dom. Send  us  whatever  else  Thou  seest  good,  but,  oh !  give 
N  17 


194  HAMILTONVILLE.  [1837. 

US,  for  Thy  Son,  our  Saviour's  sake,  the  pardoning  and  sanc- 
tifying gifts  of  Thy  grace. 

"  To-day  I  have  had  some  sorrowful  thoughts.  I  feel  in- 
consistency within  me,  and  I  see  it  around  me ;  I  see  that 
not  only  the  professed  disciples  of  Christ  forget  to  pay  the 
vows  they  have  taken  upon  them,  but  that  even  those  who 
minister  in  holy  things  are  sometimes  unmindful  of  their 
high  responsibilities.  Oh  !  for  that  happy  world  where  '  sin 
shall  never  more  annoy.'  Lord  Jesus,  prepare  me  for  it,  I 
pray  Thee.  Help  me  to  watch  and  pray  lest  I  enter  into 
temptation,  realizing  my  weakness,  and  depending  upon  Thy 
almighty  power. 

"  June  Id.  —  On  Monday  visited  a  friend  whom  the  Spirit 
has  been  leading  into  the  way  of  truth,  I  humbly  trust,  for  a 
long  time  past.  We  concluded  that  a  visit  from  Mr.  C.  would 
be  very  desirable,  and  I  went  to  see  if  he  would  call.  With 
his  usual  kindness  he  said,  'Certainly,'  and  the  next  morning 
we  went  there.  I  could  plainly  recognize  the  hand  of  Provi- 
dence in  this  interview,  for  it  seemed,  at  one  time,  as  though 
it  could  scarcely  be  brought  about.  I  would  not  exchange 
my  dear  Pastor  for  any  other,  and  feel  continually  increased 
confidence  in  his  consistency  and  ability.  May  the  Lord 
grant  him  a  double  portion  of  His  grace,  and  enable  him  to 
cling  closely  to  the  cross  of  Christ." 

^' IlamiltonviUe,  23c?. — It  is  very  pleasant  to  be  in  the 
country  once  again.  I  have  been  looking  with  desiring  eyes 
upon  the  little  tenements  in  this  neighborhood,  and  praying 
that  I  may  be  made  useful  to  some  of  their  occupants.  I 
obtained  admittance  to  one  yesterday  afternoon.  Oh!  for 
the  mind  of  Christ,  that  I  may  follow  His  example  !  I  must 
say  a  little  about  the  past  week  or  two.  I  was  at  church, 
twice,  the  last  Sabbath  our  Pastor  was  with  us.  I  felt  better 
and  concluded  that  I  could  make  the  exertion.  Our  text  in 
the  afternoon  was,  '  Simon,  Simon,  Satan  hath  desired  to 
have  thee,'  &c.     It  was  very  solemn. 


1837.]  LETTER    TO    DR.    CLARK.  195 

"  After  church  Mr.  C.  gave  us  another  address  in  the  lec- 
ture-room, and  I  thmk  we  can  all  bear  testimony  that  he  has 
faithfully  discharged  his  duty  towards  us,  and  has  been  most 
affectionately  desirous  of  our  eternal  welfare. 

"  On  Wednesday  he  left  us.  We  received  a  parting  visit 
from  him,  and  were  commended  by  him  in  prayer  to  the  care 
of  our  Almighty  Friend.  I  went  up  to  the  vestry-room  be- 
fore he  left,  to  give  him  some  letters,  and  thus  had  another 
opportunity  of  receiving  his  blessing.  I  felt  assured  that  the 
Lord  will  guide  him  continually.  As  some  one  was  in  the 
vestry-room,  I  went  into  the  church,  and  as  I  sat  near  the 
chancel,  waiting  until  he  should  be  at  leisure,  I  thought  much 
of  the  dear  old  Bishop,  whom  I  had  so  frequently  seen  sitting 
there ;  of  Mr.  James,  who  but  a  short  time  since  delivered  to 
us  an  address  from  that  spot,  and  more  than  all,  of  my  dear, 
departed  Pastor,  who  was,  and  is  one  of  my  best  friends. 
May  I  also  unite  with  them  in  ascribing  honor  and  thanks- 
giving to  God  in  His  wpper  temple." 

To  the  Rev.  J.  A.  Clarh 

June,  1837. 
"'Lord!  strengthen  and  comfort  my  dear  Pastor,'  has  been  the 
earnest  and  constant  prayer  that  my  heart  has  offered  during  the  past 
week,  and  that  He  does  and  will  sustain  you,  is  a  most  cheering  assu- 
rance. From  many  a  family-altar  will  this  petition  ascend  to  heaven, 
and  the  little  prayer-circle  will  meet  together  in  love  and  in  sorrow, 
to  ask  for  you,  and  the  charge  you  leave  behind  you,  the  choicest  spi- 
ritual blessings ;  and  you  will  ever  remember  iis,  though  separated 
for  a  season  :  '  Still  we  are  one,  still  near  in  heart.' 

'  That  threefold  cord  of  Christian  lovo, 

Which  from  the  heights  of  heaven  descends, 
When  parted  here,  is  joined  above, 

And  holds  to  Christ  and  Christian  friends. 
And  when  we  part,  the  throne  of  grace 

Shall  be  our  centre  and  retreat ; 
Though  distant  far,  at  that  bright  place, 

We  still  may  hold  communion  sweet,' 

"Oh!  how  soul-sustaining  are  the  hopes  of  the  Gospel!  To  every 
sentence  of  your  sermon  this  morning,  I  could  respond,  through  many 


196  A  christian's  death.  [1837. 

tears,  a  hearty  amen.  Pray  for  me,  I  once  more  request,  dear  sir. 
I  am  weak  in  faith,  very  prone  to  turn  aside  from  the  narrow  way. 
I  have  been  very  desirous  to  receive  from  you  some  especial  words 
of  counsel,  but  I  have  not  yielded  to  selfish  feelings,  for  you  have 
already  had  too  much  to  do  and  to  say.  Ask  for  me  that  I  may  be 
altogether  consecrated  to  the  service  of  God,  entirely  filled  with  the 
love  of  Christ.  God  forbid  that  I  should  cease  for  a  single  moment 
to  press  onward.  I  pray  not  that  I  may  be  taken  out  of  the  world, 
but  that  I  may  be  kept  from  the  evil.  And  now,  farewell,  my  be- 
loved Pastor  and  friend.  May  the  Lord  bless  and  keep  thee;  may 
He  lift  up  the  light  of  His  countenance  upon  thee  evermore." 

"Went  one  day  last  week  to  see  poor  Sarah,  whom  I  found 
suflfering  most  acutely,  but  still  resting  upon  Jesus.  As  I 
sat  by  her  bedside  and  witnessed  the  ravages  of  disease,  and 
the  suffering  she  endured,  and  as  I  saw  her  struggling  for 
breath,  I  felt  that  it  is  a  solemn  thing  to  die,  and  was  thank- 
ful that  '  God  has  given  us  the  victory  through  our  Lord 
Jesus  Christ.'  I  felt,  too,  that  in  such  an  hour,  when  heart 
and  flesh  are  failing,  a  very  sure  evidence  of  acceptance 
through  Christ  can  alone  be  suilicient  to  sustain  the  soul, — 
that  none  but  Jesus  can  then  afford  efiicient  aid.  When  I 
pass  through  the  valley,  may  I  realize  that  His  grace  is  all- 
sufficient.  It  Avas  so  with  her.  She  told  me  she  wished  I 
was  going  with  her.  On  Sunday,  I  called  after  church,  but 
she  was  sleeping.  I  could  not  go  again  until  Wednesday, 
and  then  I  found  her  mother  clad  in  mourning,  and  learned 
that  her  child  had  entered  into  rest  —  perfect  rest.  The 
last  words  she  uttered  were,  '  Precious  Jesus,  do  take  me !' 
I  bless  my  Heavenly  Father  for  all  His  saints  who  have  de- 
parted this  life  in  His  faith  and  fear,  and  pray  for  grace  so 
to  follow  their  good  examples  that,  with  them,  I  may  be  a 
partaker  of  His  heavenly  kingdom.  Surely  He  will  never 
leave  me  nor  forsake  me,  though  my  heart  is  so  cold  and 
sinful,  that  when  I  think  of  the  purity  of  heaven  I  feel  that 
I  am  very  unworthy  to  go  there.  But  I  must  be  altogether 
clothed  in  the  robe  of  Christ's  righteousness. 


1837.]  INTERESTING    INCIDENT.  197 

"  On  Monday  I  yielded  to  a  sinful  emotion  of  j^ride  and 
anger.  One  such  sin  would  forever  exclude  me  from  heaven, 
■were  it  not  for  the  blood  of  Christ.  0,  that  I  may  be  very 
humble,  — feeling  that  I  am  less  than  the  least  of  all  saints. 
I  do  not  yet  feel  this  as  I  should. 

"  This  morning  I  very  much  enjoyed  family  prayer.  Yes 
terday  morning  paid  Sister  S.  a  delightful  visit.  Her  sofa 
■was  covered  with  books  she  had  purchased  for  E.'s  Sunday 
School,  and  her  whole  heart  seems  fulL  of  love  and  zeal. 
She  told  us  many  delightful  instances  of  the  mercy  of  God, 
and  of  the  blessing  He  grants  to  the  faithful  labors  of  His 
servants.  She  told  me  of  a  lady  who  was  requested  by  a 
young  friend,  who  was  lingering  in  consumption,  to  remain 
with  him  during  his  sickness.  His  request  was  so  urgent 
that  she  was  induced  to  remain.  While  she  was  with  him, 
he  became  so  very  ill  that  his  friends  feared  that  he  could 
not  survive,  but,  owing  to  a  blessing  on  some  restorative  she 
administered,  he  revived ;  and  when  he  afterwards  alluded 
to  his  extreme  exhaustion,  she  told  him  he  had  indeed  been 
very  ill,  and  that  as  she  stood  by  his  bedside,  she  had  re- 
solved that,  if  his  life  were  prolonged,  she  would  deal  faith- 
fully with  him  in  reference  to  his  eternal  interests. 

"  The  result  of  this  determination  was  his  acceptance  of 
the  offers  of  salvation,  and  a  peaceful  death.  His  brother 
and  friend,  too,  Avere  induced  to  turn  from  the  world  to  the 
service  of  the  living  God,  through  her  instrumentality,  at  this 
time,  and  she  told  sister  S.  that  she  had  enjoyed  the  happi- 
ness of  kneeling  at  the  communion  the  Sunday  before,  with 
the  brother  on  one  side  and  his  friend  on  the  other. 

'■^July  7th.  —  Christians  ought  more  earnestly  to  bear  upon 
their  hearts,  at  the  throne  of  grace,  the  messengers  of  salva- 
tion. My  heart  was  deeply  affected  during  the  services  of 
the  communion.  This  is  a  high  and  holy  privilege.  It  is  a 
proof  of  the  love  and  wisdom  of  our  blessed  Eedecmcr,  that 
He  has  commanded  us  to  do  this  in  remembrance  of  Him. 

17* 


198  VISIT    TO    THE    COUNTRY.  [1837. 

Not  for  tlie  richest  of  earthly  blessings  would  I  forfeit  the 
benefit  and  enjoyment  I  have  derived  from  that  ordinance. 
There  is  no  time  when  I  feel  so  deeply  that  I  am  uniting  in 
worship  with  the  heavenly  host,  as  when  lauding  and  magni- 
fying God's  holy  name  in  the  words  of  the  service  ;  and  when, 
after  receiving  the  consecrated  elements,  we  all  unite  in  the 
Gloria  in  Excelsis,  I  dread  to  return  to  the  dangerous  atmo- 
sphere of  the  world,  and  would  linger  in  the  temple  of  the 
Lord. 

"  On  Sunday  evening,  was  almost  out  of  patience  with 
some  very  foolish  and  sinful  remarks  which  were  made  upon 
the  subject  of  religion ;  and  in  feeling  so,  forgot  the  example 
of  our  Saviour,  '  who  endured  patiently  the  contradiction  of 
sinners  against  himself.'  Was  glad,  on  Monday,  when  I 
came  out  to  Hamiltonville,  to  find  an  opportunity  of  adminis- 
tering some  little  comfort,  by  visiting  a  poor  girl  who  has 
been  for  a  long  time  in  much  suffering.  She  seems  deeply 
interested  in  the  subject  of  religion. 

"  Have  been  rising  very  early  of  late,  and  find  the  benefit 
of  doing  so  —  spiritually,  at  least ;  though  I  fear  sometimes 
that  I  shall  injure  myself  by  it,  and  do,  on  that  account,  re- 
main longer  in  bed.  Upon  the  whole,  it  is  better  to  be  up, 
for  my  spiritual  strength  is  so  renewed  that  I  am  better  able 
to  bear  physical  sufiering,  which  I  have  daily  and  hourly, 
whether  I  rise  early  or  not. 

"Tewom,  July  11th.  —  Once  more  I  am  enjoying  the  quiet, 
the  delightful  shade,  and  the  pure  air  of  Temora, —  the  scene 
of  some  very  happy  hours.  Sister  M.  and  I  had  a  pleasant 
journey,  and  I  was  favored  with  a  prayerful  spirit.  Earnestly 
prayed  that  my  heart  might  be  prepared  for  usefulness,  and 
that  the  Lord  would  guide  me  continually.  I  find  new  sub- 
jects of  interest  here, —  two  little  children,  and  a  boy  of  16, 
who  seems  to  receive  instruction  willingly  and  understand- 
ingly.  Oh,  that  he  may  be  induced  to  seek  earnestly  the 
salvation  of  his  soul !     My  interest  in  these  immortal  beings 


1837.]  LETTER    TO    AN    AUNT.  199 

is  sufficient  to  make  me  devote  much  time  and  many  thoughts 

and  prayers  to  their  spiritual  good,  but  I  do  not  feel  that 

ardent  love  and  faith  which  1  know  it  is  in  the  power  of  the 

Gospel  to  bestow.     Lord,  increase  my  faith,  increase  my  zeal, 

and  prepare  their  hearts  to  receive  the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus, 

and  give  me  grace  to  give  unto  Thee  all  the  glory. 

"  On  Friday  afternoon,  sister  and  I  walked  down  to  the 

Neshamony,  and  standing  on  the  spot  where  I  used  to  read, 

think,  and  pray,  I  returned  thanks  in  my  heart  to  my  Father 

for  his  continued  loving-kindness,  and  implored  grace  to  help 

in  future  time." 

To  her  Aunt. 

"Temora,  July,  1837. 

"Dear  Aunty:  —  I  would  hke  thee  to  know  with  how  much  affec- 
tion I  think  of  thee,  and  how  gratefully  I  remember  thy  past  kind- 
nesH.  Thy  watchful  care  has  alleviated  my  sufferings  very  often.  It 
might  be  supposed  that  the  recollection  of  these  sufferings*  would 
be  unpleasant,  and  that  a  repetition  of  them  would  be  dreadful  in- 
deed, but  so  far  from  this,  I  review  the  three  or  four  past  years  of 
my  life,  though  not  a  single  day  has  been  unmarked  by  suffering, 
with  more  pleasure  than  those  which  preceded  them,  for  I  have 
enjoyed  more  of  the  peace  which  passeth  understanding,  and  been 
enabled  to  realize  that  in  '  very  faithfulness'  my  Heavenly  Father 
has  afflicted  me.  We  would  not  have  supposed,  three  years  since, 
dear  Aunty,  that  my  life  would  have  been  thus  far  prolonged,  but 
I  do  not  doubt  that  I  am  continued  here  that  I  may  become  more 
truly  conformed  to  our  Saviour's  image,  and  that  I  may  so  let  my 
light  shine,  that  men,  seeing  my  good  works,  may  glorify  my  Father 
in  Heaven,  and  be  induced  to  consecrate  themselves  to  His  service. 
But,  oh !  how  little  progress  I  make  in  a  heavenly  course,  and  how 
little  do  I  imitate  the  example  of  Him  who  was  '  holy,  harmless,  and 
undefiled,'  always  going  about  to  do  good  !  I  wish  to  be,  like  Him, 
meek  and  lowly  in  heart.  I  need  humility  more  than  any  thing 
else.  But  we  have  a  throne  of  grace  to  which  we  can  'come  boldly,' 
and  obtain  a  supply  for  every  spiritual  want,  and  just  in  proportion 
as  we  wait  upon  the  Lord  in  humble  and  fervent  prayer,  will  He 
enrich  us  with  spiritual  blessings  for  our  Redeemer's  sake. 

*     *     *     "I  trust,  dear  Aunt,  that  we  shall  be  permitted  to 

*  Alluding  to  the  severe  remedies  resorted  to. 


200  WICKEDNESS     OF    THE     WORLD.  [1837. 

enter  that  blissful  abode;  and  that,  whilst  wo  sojourn  here,  we  shall 
realize  that  we  are  but  stran,<i'ers  aud  pilgrims.      *     *     * 

"  Thy  sincerely  attached  Susan." 

"Have  been  convinced,  more  and  more,  of  the  sinfulness 
of  the  natural  heart.  The  papers  are  full  of  accounts  of 
wicked  and  daring  deeds.  I  hear  the  name  of  the  Most  High 
blasphemed,  his  laws  dishonored,  and  the  Gospel  despised. 
I  see  proofs  of  corruption  all  around,  and  feel  it  within  me. 
Lord,  to  whom  shall  I  go  ?  Oh,  blessed  Jesus!  Thou  art 
pure  —  Thou  art  holy.  Let  me  be  conformed  to  Thine  image, 
and  prepared  for  thy  kingdom,  'where  the  wicked  cease  from 
troubling,  and  the  weary  are  at  rest.' 

"  Last  night  I  received  a  letter  from  Mr.  Clark,  who  seems 
to  mourn  deeply  the  wickedness  of  the  land.  I  can  truly 
say,  '  My  ear  is  sick,  my  heart  is  pained,  with  every  day's 
report  of  wrong  and  outrage,  with  which  the  earth  is  filled.' 
If  I  were  free  from  sin  myself,  I  would,  of  course,  look  upon 
these  things  with  abhorrence  and  with  pity,  but  I  could  not 
feel  it  as  I  do  now.  It  almost  makes  me  tremble.  Oh,  that 
grace  may  be  given  me  to  watch  and  pray,  lest  I  enter  into 
temptation.  And  may  I  be  enabled  to  rejoice,  more  than 
ever,  in  the  method  provided  by  a  God  of  justice  and  of 
love,  for  the  salvation  of  a  race  of  beings  so  degraded  and 
unworthy  as  we  are.  Truly,  in.  Christ  Jesus,  '  Mercy  and 
truth  are  met  together,  righteousness  and  peace  have  kissed 
each  other.' 

'■'■July  I'ltli.  —  Can  any  one  have  more  cause  for  gratitude 
than  I  ?  I  am  sitting  in  my  little  room,  surrounded  by  every 
comfort,  —  beautiful  flowers  on  my  window,  the  Holy  Bible 
and  many  other  heavenly  books  around  me,  and,  above  all, 
my  heart  is  visited  by  the  sweet  influences  of  the  Holy  Spirit. 
How  beautiful  is  the  surrounding  prospect !  The  setting  sun 
casts  a  bright,  yet  mellow  reflection  upon  the  grass  and  trees, 
and  the  little  birds  are  singing  sweetly.  I  have  been  reading 
Buchanan's  Life,  a  most  profitable  and  delightful  memoir. 


1837.]      Letter  from   rev.  dr.  clark.  201 

If  he,  with  so  many  temptations  to  the  pursuit  of  earthly 
fame,  was  so  dead  to  the  world,  so  consecrated  to  his  Master's 
service,  what  should  J  be  ?  Alive  only  unto  God.  Oh  !  may 
the  example  of  each  one  of  his  servants,  of  whose  faith  I  hear, 
stimulate  me  to  renewed  diligence  and  zeal. 

Extract  from  a  Letter  of  Rev.  J.  A.  Clarh  to  3Jiss  Alh'hone. 

"  St.  Louis,  July  4,  1837. 
"  I  desire  to  thank  you,  my  dear  sister,  for  your  note  accompany- 
ing that  dear  book  of  promises,  and  for  the  book  also.  I  shall  ever 
keep  it  as  a  sweet  remembrancer  of  one  whose  name,  I  doubt  not,  is 
written  on  the  palms  of  my  Redeemer's  hands,  and  for  whom  I  feel 
the  tenderest  and  strongest  affection.  I  trust  that  the  grace  of  God 
will  also  abide  with  you,  and  that  you  will  continue  to  enjoy  such 
holy  and  heavenly  nearness  to  Him,  that  during  this  present  summer 
you  will  be  acquiring  more  and  more  of  the  mind  that  was  in  Christ 
Jesus,  and  be  ripening  for  future  glory.  I  shall  be  happy  to  return 
and  meet  you  again.  Oh,  how  happy  we  shall  be  when  we  meet 
together  in  our  Father's  house,  for  ever  freed  from  sin ;  to  know 
weariness,  and  languor,  and  exhaustion  no  more;  to  be  like  the 
angels  of  God,  full  of  youth  and  immortal  vigor,  full  of  divine  love; 
yea,  filled  with  all  the  fullness  of  God  \" 

To  the  Rev.  Jno.  A.  Clarh. 

"July  28,  1837. 

"  My  dear  Pastor.  —  With  how  much  pleasure  would  sister  M. 
and  myself  conduct  you  to  some  of  our  favorite  resorts  in  the  shady 
woods,  or  upon  the  banks  of  the  Neshamony,  could  we  have  you 
with  us  this  beautiful  morning  !  I  am  sure  you  would  be  constrained 
to  unite  with  us  in  a  sacrifice  of  thanksgiving  to  Him  who  has  so 
fully  proved,  in  the  beauties  of  creation,  His  power  and  goodness ; 
for  it  has  been  orir  happy  experience  that  '  the  silent  shade,  the  calm 
retreat,  with  prayer  and  praise  agree.'  But,  as  this  cannot  be,  I 
must  content  myself  with  a  little  '  paper  talk,'  and  will  first  say  to 
you,  that  the  intelligence  contained  in  your  welcome  letter  of  your 
safety  and  enjoyment  is  very  gratifying.     *     *     * 

"  The  reference  you  make  to  the  state  of  religion  in  the  West, 
accords  with  the  increasing  conviction  I  have  recently  felt,  of  the 
exceeding  depravity  of  our  nature,  and  which  has  caused  me  to  fear 
that  few  will  be  saved.  I  know,  and  rejoice  that  an  all-sufficient 
sacrifice  has  been  ofiered  for  '  the  sins  of  the  whole  world,'  but  men 


202  TO     REV.     DR.     CLARK.  [1837. 

will  not  acknowledge  their  need  of  its  efncac}',  and  therefore  despise 
the  riches  of  God's  goodness,  His  forbearance  and  long-suffering. 
Truly,  the  infinite  merits  of  Christ  Jesus,  and  the  all-subduing  ope- 
rations of  the  Holy  Spirit,  are  entirely  necessary  to  redeem  from  sin 
and  to  prepare  for  heaven  beings  so  sinful,  so  prone  to  wander  from 
the  way  of  peace.  Even  the  little  floch  who  desire  to  travel  in  the 
narrow  path,  feel  that  they  are  on  every  side  beset  with  spiritual 
dangers,  that  they  have  '  no  power  of  themselves  to  help  themselves,' 
and  that  their  earnest  and  continual  prayer  must  be  — '  Hold  Thou 
me  up,  and  I  shall  be  safe.'  You  speak  of  the  happiness  that  shall 
be  ours,  when,  after  our  earthly  pilgrimage  is  ended,  we  shall 
meet  together  in  our  heavenly  home.  There  'the  wicked  cease 
from  troubling ;'  there  trial  and  temptation  have  passed  away  for- 
ever, and  the  unutterable  longings  we  now  feel,  after  a  more  intimate 
communion  with  the  Father  of  our  spirits,  will  be  '  satisfied'  when 
we  shall  '■  awake  with  His  likeness.'  It  is  often  the  language  of  my 
heart,  when  I  contemplate  the  happiness  of  those  who  have  already 
entered  into  rest : — 

'  Oh  when  shall  the  period  appear, 

When  I  shall  unite  in  your  song? 
I'm  weary  of  lingering  here, 

And  I  to  your  Saviour  belong: 
I'm  fettered  and  pent  up  in  clay, 

I  struggle  and  pant  to  be  free  ; 
I  long  to  be  soaring  away. 

My  God  and  my  Saviour  to  see.' 

"  But  the  Lord's  will  be  done.  If  He  will  give  me  grace  to  do 
and  suffer  His  will,  until  in  Zion  I. shall  appear  before  Him,  and  if 
He  will  make  me  the  happy  instrument  of  inducing  some  of  the 
immortal  beings  around  me  to  consecrate  themselves  to  His  service, 
I  will  not  ask  Him  to  hasten  the  period  of  my  deliverance ;  and  all 
this  I  know  He  is  willing  to  do,  for  Christ's  sake. 

"  How  hallowed  are  the  associations  connected  with  our  beloved 
sanctuary ;  how  gladly  would  I  return  to  its  delightful  services  ! 
That  you,  my  beloved  pastor,  may  be  permitted  to  collect  around 
you  your  scattered  flock,  and  to  resume  among  them  your  wonted 
labors  with  increased  physical  strength,  and  a  fresh  supply  of  grace, 
is  our  common  hope,  and,  I  trust,  our  united  prayer.     *     *     * 

"  I  brought  the  'Young  Disciple'  with  me,  and  much  I  need  her 
holy  example  to  reprove  my  deficiencies,  and  to  stimulate  me  to 
greater  diligence  in  pressing  towards  the  mark.     The  assurance  of 


1837.J  LETTER    TO    MRS.    J.  203 

regard  contained  in  your  letter  is  liighly  valued,  and  warmly  reci- 
procated by  your  sincere  friend." 

To  Mrs.  J. 

«'  Temora,  August  1st,  1837. 

"Among  my  dearest  Christian  friends  are  you  remembered,  my 
dear  Mrs.  J.,  and  the  privation  of  your  society  is  to  me  a  source  of 
frequent  regret.  I  have  often  returned  thanks  to  my  Heavenly 
Father  for  the  kindness  and  encouragement  I  have  received  from 
you,  and  would  gladly  avail  myself  of  the  counsel  you  are  ever  ready 
to  extend,  were  this  privilege  always  in  my  power.  I  feel  an  increas- 
ing desire  to  become  conformed  to  the  image  of  our  Redeemer,  and 
to  know  more  and  more  of  His  love,  and  find  that  communion  with 
His  disciples  greatly  assists  my  efforts  to  'follow  after  holines.'  This 
enjoyment,  however,  is  not  without  alloy.  The  society  of  those  who 
would  be  quickeners  of  my  faith  is  not  at  all  times  accessible,  and 
when  attained  is  often  productive  of  the  conviction  that  in  myself 
and  them  there  remaineth  much  of  corruption,  and  that  a  union  with 
the  spirits  of  the  just  made  perfect,  and  a  knowledge  of  Jesus  as  He 
is,  will  alone  constitute  my  perfect  happinesss. 

"'Jerusalem!  my  happy  home, 

My  soul  still  longs  for  thee. 
Oh  !  when  shall  all  my  labors  end, 

In  joy,  and  heaven,  and  thee  ? 
Apostles,  prophets,  martyrs  there, 

Around  my  Saviour  stand. 
And  soon  my  friends  in  Christ  below 

Shall  join  the  glorious  band.' 

"  Is  not  this  a  joyous  anticipation  ?  We  are  strangers  and  pil- 
grims upon  earth,  but  heaven  will  be  our  '  happy  home.'  And  it 
must  seem  to  you,  dear  Mrs.  J.,  more  like  a  home  than  ever  before, 
for  your  beloved  children  have  gone  there,  and  arc  awaiting  your 
arrival.  How  glad  you  will  be,  when  you  meet  them  there,  that 
you  have  been  enabled  by  faith  to  realize  that  it  was  better  that 
they  should  depart  and  be  with  Christ,  and  you  be  left  behind  to 
feel  their  loss,  for  feel  it  most  painfully  you  still  must !  Had  not 
God  been  the  strength  of  your  heart  in  that  hour  of  trial,  you  could 
not  have  borne  it.  May  He  be  your  present  help  in  every  time 
of  need. 

*  *  *  ''  Oh  !  for  an  increase  of  Sunday  School  instruction, 
and  for  a  blessing  from  on  High  ! 

"  Yours,  very  sincerely,  Susan  " 


204  TO    HER    SISTER    s.  [1837. 

^'Angust  Sd.  —  The  sermon  was  very  much  to  the  purpose, 
but  I  do  not  know  when  my  heart  has  been  so  cold  during 
the  service.  It  is  such  a  pity  to  lose  such  exquisite  enjoy- 
ment as  a  cordial  participation  in  the  service  affords,  inde- 
pendently of  the  great  sin  of  taking  the  name  of  God  in 
vain.  What  would  become  of  us,  without  the  influences  of 
the  Holy  Spirit  ? 

"  In  the  sight  of  God  I  am  convicted  of  unfaithfulness  and 
lukewarraness,  for  though  I  may  think  myself  in  some  degree 
active,  and  may  from  others  receive  credit  for  zeal.  He  knows 
that  I  do  not  realize  the  value  of  these  precious  souls, — that 
I  have  not  half  enough  love  and  faith.  When  I  stand  at  the 
judgment-seat  of  Christ,  I  shall  feel  not  one  emotion  of  self- 
complacency  for  the  efforts  I  have  made,  but  shall  wonder 
that  I  did  not  warn  poor  perishing  souls  of  their  danger,  day 
and  night,  with  tears.  Lord,  help  me  to  do  this  before  that 
time  shall  come,  for  His  sake,  who  has  rescued  me  from  sin 
and  death. 

To  her  Sister  S. 

"  Temoka,  Aug.  3d,  1837. 

<<  Your  letter,  my  dear  sister,  was  quite  refreshing.  I  should  like 
one  such  every  day,  and  I  trust  that  if  my  life  be  still  prolonged,  I 
shall  rejoice  in  many  triumphs  of  that  grace  which  bringeth  salva- 
tion. How  desirous  I  feel  to  see  the  work  of  the  Lord  prosper  ia 
this  neighborhood  I  It  will  be  a  \^onderful  change  when  it  shall  be 
no  longer  the  duty  of  every  man  to  say  to  his  brother  and  to  his 
neighbor,  '  Know  ye  the  Lord  ?  for  all  shall  know  him  from  the  least 
to  the  greatest.'  Until  this  time  shall  come,  how' imperative  is  the 
call  upon  every  disciple  of  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  to  be  *  instant,  in 
season  and  out  of  season,'  to  'come  up  hoJdJi/  to  the  help  of  the  Lord 
against  the  mighty.'  I  am  very  thankful,  my  dear  sister,  that  you 
have  commenced  a  course  of  active  effort  in  your  Master's  service ; 
and  it  is  my  daily  prayer  that  your  zeal  may  be  yet  more  and  more 
increased ;  that  the  wisdom  of  the  serpent,  the  harmlessness  of  the 
dove,  and  the  boldness  of  the  lion  may  be  combined  in  each  endeavor 
you  make  to  win  souls  to  Ilis  service.  After  we  have  done  all  that 
we  can,  and,  indeed,  this  is  language  which  I  have  never  yet  been 
able  to  adopt,  wc  shall  feel  that  we  arc  but  *  unprofitable  servants. 


1837.]  SUNDAY    MEDITATIONS.  205 

I  cannot  say  in  reference  to  my  intercourse  with  one  human  being, 
that  I  have  done  all  that  I  could  to  bring  him  to  a  knowledge  of 
Christ.      Oh,  have  we  not  cause  for  deep  humiliation  i"     *     *     * 

"  18^/i.  —  I   spent   almost   all   the   morning   alone   in  my 

room.     I  stayed  from  church  to  give  my  seat  in  the 

carriage,  and  as  it  was  communion  Sunday  at  home,  I  tried 
to  unite  in  the  service,  and  to  feed  on  Christ  in  my  heart, 
though  I  could  not  partake  of  the  emblems  of  His  dying  love. 
I  read  much  of  the  Morning  Service,  and  found  it  soothing 
and  impressive.  It  seems  strange  to  me  that  every  Christian 
should  not  appreciate  the  Prayer-Book.  Again  and  again  I 
feel  thankful  that  my  steps  were  directed  into  the  Episcopal 
Church.  My  esteem  and  affection  for  her  '  heavenly  ways' 
are  constantly  increasing,  and  I  trust  I  shall  be  permitted, 
unworthy  as  I  am,  to  die  in  her  communion. 

"My  health  is  strikingly  improved  since  I  have  been  here. 
I  am  quite  strong  in  comparison,  and  my  cheeks  are  filling 
up.  I  cannot  say  that  this  gives  me  any  particular  pleasure, 
though  it  may  be  very  ungrateful  in  me  to  say  so.  I  am 
willing  to  live,  if  it  be  the  Lord's  will, — but  I  am  'willing, 
rather,  to  be  absent  from  the  body.'  I  feel,  however,  when 
my  health  is  better,  a  greater  degree  of  buoyancy  of  spirits  : 
and  my  desire  is,  that  I  may  not  waste  this  increased  energy 
in  thoughtless  levity,  but  expend  it  all  in  the  service  of  Him 
who  has  given  it  to  me  for  His  glory.  When  I  am  merry, 
let  me  sing  psalms. 

"  Oh  !  when  shall  the  kingdom  of  Christ  come  with  power 
in  this  place  ?  It  will  be  a  wondrous  change.  I  think  much 
prayer,  much  money,  much  labor,  should  be  given  to  this 
neglected  part  of  the  Lord's  vineyard.  If  this  were  done, — 
if  the  stones  were  taken  away,  the  weeds  plucked  up,  the  seed 
of  life  planted,  the  Lord  would  so  water  the  soil  with  the 
dew  of  His  blessing  that  it  would  become  'a  fruitful  field.' 
So  let  it  be,  for  Jesus'  sake ;  and  may  the  Lord  give  me  will 

18 


206  LETTER    TO    MISS    E.    N.  [1837. 

and  power  to  do  all  that  I  should  to  promote  this  object,  and 
to  incite  others  to  come  up  to  His  help. 

^'August  18^/i.  — Finished,  this  morning,  the  Life  of 
Buchanan.  Have  not  often  read  a  memoir  so  interesting 
and  profitable.  Have  just  commenced  Abeel's  Residence  in 
China.  I  want  more  of  a  missionary  spirit,  and  read  these 
books  in  the  hope  that,  through  a  blessing  from  above,  they 
■will  be  the  means  of  filling  my  heart  with  more  ardent  desires 
for  the  extension  of  the  Kingdom  of  our  Redeemer  —  (I  love 
that  name,)  —  and  give  new  energy  to  my  prayers  and  efforts. 
Oh,  that  my  zeal  to  do  good  in  this  neighborhood  were  in  any 
degree  to  be  compared  with  the  love  that  was  felt  by  Dr.  B. 
for  perishing  souls  in  India  ! 

"  Oh,  that  my  two  talents  were  employed  with  the  same 
diligence  in  His  service,  that  the  Lord  may  say  to  me,  '  Thou 
hast  been  faithful  in  a  very  little  !'  " 

To  lliss  E.  N. 

"  Sept.  19,  1837. 

*  *  *  "I  -wish  we  could  pray  together  for  a  blessing  on  thy 
Sunday  School.  I  do  not  forget  to  implore  that  thee  maybe  endued 
with  such  love  for  immortal  souls,  as  shall  constrain  thee  to  perse- 
vering and  believing  effort.  Remember  that  thy  labor  will  not  be 
in  vain,  should  thee  be  able  only  to  sow  a  single  seed  of  divine 
truth.  Remember  our  Saviour's  declaration,  '  Inasmuch  as  ye  did 
it  unto  one  of  the  least  of  these,  ye^did  it  unto  me.'  I  think,  dear 
E.,  that  thy  usefulness  will  be  impeded  by  thy  excessive  timidity,  if 
thee  does  not  earnestly  pray  for  an  holy  boldness  in  the  cause  of  our 
Redeemer.  I  know,  fi'om  sad  experience,  that  '  the  fear  of  man 
bringeth  a  snare,'  and  that  our  Adversary  will  strive  to  persuade  us 
that  sinful  timidity  is  the  result  of  discretion.  Oh,  how  constantly 
should  we  beseech  the  Lord  to  'open  our  lips  I'     *     *     * 

"And  now,  about  the  subject  upon  which  we  were  talking  at 
Temora.  I  -do  not  at  all  doubt  the  result  of  thy  search  after  the 
truth  in  reference  to  this  matter.  I  think  prayer  and  the  attentive 
study  of  the  Bible  will  be  followed  by  a  conviction  that  it  is  thy 
duty  to  be  baptized,  and  to  receive  the  Lord's  Supper.  I  was  not 
surprised  to  hear  thee  say  that  thee  had  been  thinking  upon  the 
subject,  and  wished  to  examine  it  more  fully.     I  will  not,  as  I  at 


1837.]        AN    IRRELIGIOUS    NEIGHBORHOOD.  207 

first  intended,  cite  any  particular  texts,  but  recommend  thee  to  tlie 
review  of  the  whole  book  of  Acts  —  which  will  convince  thee  that  it 
was  the  honest  belief  of  the  disciples  of  the  Lord  Jesus,  that  it  was 
the  command  of  their  Master  that  they  should  baptize  with  water 
those  who  had  been  previously  baptized  with  the  Holy  Ghost.  *  Can 
any  man  forbid  water,  that  these  should  not  be  baptized  which  have 
received  the  Holy  Ghost  as  well  as  we  ?'  Thee  will  find  that  Saul, 
after  having  received  so  wonderful  a  communication  from  above, 
received  this  ordinance;  that  Philip  was  sent  to  the  Eunuch  by  the 
Holy  Ghost,  and  did  not  hesitate  to  bestow  upon  him  the  outward 
sign,  so  soon  as  he  was  convinced  that  he  had  received  the  inward 
and  spiritual  grace.  But  thee  is  acquainted  with  all  these  instances, 
and  argument  is  not  my  desire  just  now."     *     *     * 

"  27th.  —  How  many  in  this  neighborhood  deny  and  disre- 
gard our  blessed  Redeemer  !  They  would  think  me  very 
uncharitable  were  I  to  express  my  opinion  of  their  spiritual 
condition,  but  while  my  Saviour  tells  me  that  He  is  '  the  way, 
and  the  truth,  and  the  life,'  and  '  that  no  man  can  come  unto 
the  Father,  but  by  Him,'  I  must  think  all  in  error  who  reject 
this  way  of  salvation.  And  though  I  have  ever  believed  with 
my  understanding  this  precious  doctrine,  and  during  several 
years  past  have  believed  it  with  my  heart,  since  I  have  been 
in  this  neighborhood  I  have  learned  more  of  the  dangerous 
effects  of  its  rejection.  I  see  that  little  children  are  left,  by 
their  parents  and  employers,  uninstructed  in  the  things  of 
the  kingdom  of  God.  Several  Avhom  I  have  talked  with  have 
scarcely  heard  the  name  of  the  Friend  of  sinners.  I  see  that 
little  anxiety  is  felt  about  the  spiritual  state  of  those  who  are 
exemplary  in  outward  conduct.  The  young  and  amiable  may 
die  unconverted,  and  it  will  be  said,  '  They  were  innocent 
young  persons  ;'  and  if  you  say  that,  '  Except  a  man  be  born 
again,  he  cannot  enter  the  kingdom  of  heaven,' — that  except 
you  believe  in  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  you  cannot  be  saved, — 
by  very  many  you  will  be  deemed  censorious  and  incorrect. 
Just  so  strict  is  the  Gospel, — and  while  I  w'ould  pray  for 
charity^  I  desire  to  adhere  most  firmly  to  its  doctrines,  and 


208  COMMUNION    SERVICE.  [1837. 

to  speak  a  word  for  my  Saviour  whenever  an  opportunity 
shall  be  presented.  May  the  Lord  give  me  true  humility  and 
pure  faith,  so  that  I  may  feel  that  I  am  nothing,  while  Jesus 
is  my  all  in  all. 

"  The  greatest  favor  I  could  desire  from  my  friends,  after 
my  death,  would  be  to  try  to  lead  my  little  nephews  and 
nieces  to  the  feet  of  the  Saviour. 

"Ocf.  1st. — Sunday  evening. —  For  the  mercies  of  the  past 
day  I  desire  to  feel  truly  thankful,  and  to  evince  my  grati- 
tude by  a  renewed  consecration  of  myself  to  the  service  of 
Him  whom  I  have  found  to  be  'merciful  and  gracious.'  This 
morning,  was  permitted  to  kneel  at  the  chancel  with  my  dear 
sisters,  to  unite  with  them  in  commemorating  the  love  of  our 
Redeemer.  I  was  desirous  to  humble  myself  before  the 
Lord,  for  I  felt  that  I  had  erred  and  strayed  from  His  ways, 
and  to  cast  myself  anew  upon  the  merits  of  Christ  Jesus. 

"  How  appropriate  did  I  find  the  communion-service  !  How 
inestimable  a  privilege  !  Oh,  how  can  I  be  so  cold  and  sinful, 
in  the  midst  of  so  much  goodness  !  It  is  to  the  unmerited 
mercy  of  God  that  I  am  indebted  for  every  privilege  and 
every  good  thought.  '  In  me,  that  is,  in  my  flesh,  dwelleth 
no  good  thing.'  My  heart  has  been  much  lighter  since  the 
morning. 

^^Oct.  IWi.  —  Our  dear  Pastor  preached  such  a  sermon  as 
a  Christian  only  could  preach,  from  the  text,  '  Our  Father.' 
He  spoke  of  the  happiness  of  those  who  can  use  this  appella- 
tion in  its  most  endearing  sense, — those  who  have  been  horn 
again;  of  the  delight  of  holding  communion  with  Him  ;  of  a 
constant  dependence  upon  His  protection  and  His  blessing. 
My  heart  was  melted  and  encouraged.  May  the  Lord  be  ever 
my  soul-satisfying  portion.  The  pursuits  and  prospects  of 
this  world  are  not  for  me.  A  suficring  life  and  an  early 
grave,  are,  I  doubt  not,  in  reserve  for  me,  and  I  am  not  only 
content  but  thankful  for  this  allotment.  Only,  my  Heavenly 
Father,  let  my  mind  be  ever  stayed  on  Thee,  and  kept  in 


1837.]         RECOLLECTIONS    OF    DR.    BEDELL.  209 

perfect  peace.  Preserve  me  from  the  snares  which  beset  me 
on  the  right  hand  and  on  the  left,  and  grant  that  I  may  *  so 
pass  through  things  temporal,  that  I  fail  not  to  attain  the 
things  eternal.' 

'■^Sunday  evening.  —  This  has  been  a  delightful  Sunday. 
I  do  not  know  when  I  have  enjoyed  the  service  so  much  as 
this  morning.  I  felt  it  a  blessed  privilege  to  worship  in  the 
temple  of  the  Lord.  As  I  went  there,  my  heart  was  light 
and  my  steps  rapid,  and  when  I  looked  at  the  tablet  which 
commemorates  our  departed  Pastor's  dependence  on  the  Lord, 
and  recollected  his  precepts,  his  example,  and  the  everlasting 
joy  into  which  he  has  entered  —  when  I  looked  upon  his  suc- 
cessor, who  tells  us  the  same  blessed  truths,  and  exemplifies 
them  in  his  conduct,  and  upon  the  sacred  table  with  which 
so  many  holy  associations  are  connected,  my  own  heart  was 
attuned  to  devotion,  and  I  felt  that  I  was  in  a  consecrated 
place. 

"  We  had  a  deeply  solemn  meeting  on  Saturday  evening. 
Mr.  C.  told  us  that  he  would  probably  be  obliged  to  give  up 
his  evening  services.  I  remembered  the  suffering  I  have 
endured  in  the  loss  of  my  dear  Pastor  who  is  now  in  heaven, 
and  when  I  saw  the  pale  countenance  of  him  who  is  now  such 
a  blessing  to  us  all,  I  was  very  sad.  I  felt,  too,  that  my 
improvement  of  the  privileges  I  have  enjoyed  is  very  inade- 
quate, and  that  I  ought  to  be  humbled  to  the  very  dust.  I 
had  a  dream  that  night,  that  awakened  and  caused  me  to 
spring  out  of  bed,  and  pray  that  it  might  be  realized. 

"  Sunday  was  a  day  long  to  be  remembered.  Mr.  C. 
preached  a  sermon  full  of  solemnity  and  truth.  '  By  the 
deeds  of  the  law  shall  no  flesh  be  justified.'  In  the  afternoon 
his  text  was,  'Which  art  in  Heaven,'  and  when  he  spoke  of 
the  happy  world  in  Avhich  the  children  of  God  shall  find 
refuge  and  peace,  I  longed  to  be  there.  It  was  painful  to 
observe  the  suffering  it  cost  our  dear  Pastor  to  tell  us  these 
0  .  18* 


210  DR.  Clark's   departure.  [1837. 

consoling  truths,  and  I  felt  for  him  a  sympathy  -which  fellow 
feeling  alone  could  excite.  I  shall  not  soon  forget  Sunday 
afternoon. 

"  I  learned,  after  church,  that  it  had  heen  decided  that  our 
Pastor  is  to  take  a  sea  voyage.  I  knew  he  would  have  to 
discontinue  his  labors  almost  entirely,  but  did  not  anticipate 
such  a  trial  as  this. 

"iVbv.  IStJi.  — '  Search  me,  0  God,  and  know  my  heart  — 
try  me,  and  know  my  thoughts  ;  and  see  if  there  be  any  wicked 
way  in  me,  and  lead  mc  in  the  way  everlasting.'  It  is  with 
this  prayer  that  I  commence  a  new  volume  of  my  Diary.  I 
am  sitting  alone,  —  it  is  almost  twelve,  —  and  soon  the  Sab- 
bath day  will  come.  May  it  be  a  day  of  spiritual  blessings, — 
may  'the  cloud  we  so  much  dread,'  fall  upon  us  in  showers 
of  grace, — may  our  dear  Pastor's  farewell  discourse  sink  deep 
into  many  hearts,  and  may  all  his  people  look  above  for  con- 
solation and  guidance. 

"236?. —  Our  Pastor  has  now  left  us,  and  we  must  'look 
unto  the  hills,  from  whence  cometh  our  help.'  His  sermon 
on  Sunday  was,  I  am  well  convinced,  to  the  glory  of  God. 
Text  —  'It  is  I,  be  not  afraid.'  It  was  a  solemn  and  sor- 
rowful occasion,  but  the  light  of  faith  dispelled  every  cloud. 

^'Dec.  15th.  —  The  text  for  to-day  is  very  sweet.  'The 
Lord  shall  preserve  thee  from  ajl  evil,  he  shall  preserve  thy 
soul.'  How  I  pity  those  who  doubt  the  providential  care  of 
the  Almighty  !  It  is  sweet,  indeed,  to  realize  that  the  Maker 
of  all  things  is  also  a  kind  Father,  an  all-wise  and  merciful 
protector.  Into  His  hands  I  fear  not  to  commit  all  that  I 
hold  dear, — my  friends, — my  temporal  and  eternal  interests. 
To  know  that  He  is  directing  the  events  of  life,  is  a  con- 
sciousnes  that  keeps  the  mind  in  peace ;  to  know  that  He  will 
preserve  the  soul  from  every  danger,  fills  it  with  joy.  For 
how  could  a  Christian  war  a  successful  warfare  against  the 
world,  the  flesh,  and  the  devil,  were  he  not  assured  that  the 


1837.]  END     OF     THE     YEAR.  211 

Captain  of  his  salvation  is  mightj  to  save,  and  strong  to 
deliver  ? 

'■'•Sunday  evening,  Bee.  31s/.  —  This  is  the  last  day  of  the 
year,  and  as  a  severe  cold  has  prevented  mo  from  going  to 
church,  I  have  had  to  make  my  own  reflections,  and  very 
solemn  they  have  been.  Goodness  and  mercy  from  the  Lord, 
sm  and  ingratitude  from  me,  have  marked  the  past  year. 
How  wondrous  is  the  grace  which  has  kept  me  from  falling ! 
Surely,  I  need  not  doubt  for  the  time  to  come.  I  have  been 
very  prayerful  to-day,  but  have  not  been  as  fervent  in  spirit 
as  I  could  wish.  I  have  a  cold  heart,  and  it  is  wonderful 
that  God  has  dealt  so  gently  with  me.  He  has  been  to  me  a 
kind  and  tender  Father,  and  my  confidence  in  Him  is  conti- 
nually increased. 

"  Oh,  that  He  may  unite  my  heart  to  fear  His  name, — 
that  my  every  thought  and  afiection  may  be  consecrated  to 
His  service!" 


CHAPTER    X. 

1838. 

Counsels  to  Enquirers —  Clear  views  of  Truth  —  Letter  of  Encourage- 
ment—  Interest  in  accessions  to  the  Church  —  Season  of  Lent  — 
Jewish  Rabbi  —  Letters  to  a  young  Christian  —  To  Rev.  J.  A.  Clark 
—  Interest  in  her  Orphan  Cousins  —  Solicitude  for  the  Church  — 
The  General  Convention  —  Tranquillity  in  Danger. 

"Jaw.  Ibth,  1838. — To-day  I  have  passed  very  pleasantly. 
Have  been  reading  the  chapter  in  JNIcIlvaine's  Evidences  in 
which  he  speaks  of  the  glorious  triumphs  of  Christianity  upon 
a  death-bed.  I  prayed  that  God  would  grant  me  dying 
grace  for  a  dying  hour.  The  Rock  of  Ages  is  now,  and  ever 
will  be  my  shelter,  though  in  myself  I  am  utterly  unworthy. 
0,  that  throughout  eternity  I  may  praise  God  for  the  gift 
of  His  Son." 

^'■Sunday  evening. —  This  afternoon  we  had  a  sermon 
which,  though  it  contained  the  truth,  was  not  delivered,  I 
thought,  with  sufficient  reverence  of  manner.  I  felt  much 
pained  by  it,  and  mentioned  it  too  freely  after  church.  I 
have  felt  quite  unhappy  about  it.  I  hope  it  will  be  a  lesson 
to  me,  and  that  God  Avill  give  me  more  patience  and  meek- 
ness, so  that  I  may  become  conformed  to  our  Redeemer's 
image. 

"  I  have  had  some  very  sorrowful  feelings  to-day.  I  see 
so  much  sin  in  myself  and  others,  that  I  am  weary  of  it.  "0, 
for  that  blessed  world  Avhere  'we  shall  never,  never  sin.'  " 

In  Miss  Allibone's  numerous  counsels  to  enquirers,  and 
especially  youthful  enquirers  after  salvation,  we  cannot  but 
notice  how  simple,  as  well  as  urgent,  are  her  exhibitions  of 
the  Gospel.  All  her  letters  and  appeals  were  invitations  to 
"  behold  the  Lamb  of  God  who  taketh  away  the  sins  of  the 

(212) 


1838.]  COUNSEL    TO    AN    INQUIRER.  213 

world."      Uncompromising  fidelity  "was  united  •with  a  most 

persuasive  setting-forth  of  the  freeness  of  the  promises,  and 

of  the  openness  of  the  way  of  life.     Very  solicitous  was  she 

to  remove  from  the  path  of  religion  the  stumbling-blocks  and 

hindrances  which  often    appear   so   insurmountable   to  the 

awakened  soul,  while  at  the  same  time  they  are  mainly  its 

own  creations.     She  strove  to  lead  away  the  anxious  spirit 

from  excessive  engrossment  with  its  own  frames  and  feelings 

to  Him  who  alone  giveth  peace.     While  no  addresses  could 

be  more  faithful  and  searching  than  those  which  she  sent  to 

impenitent,  or  undecided  and  doubting  friends,  none  could  be 

more  encouraging.      This  feature,  it  is  hoped,  will  render 

their  publication  a  blessing  to  some  of  those  who  have,  in  a 

degree,  discovered  the  plague  of  their  own  hearts,  without 

having  yet  found  the  remedy.      The  following  letter  to  a 

young  friend  is  a  happy  illustration  of  this  strongly  marked 

characteristic : — ■- 

To  a  Friend. 

Feb.  1st,  1838. 

"  Our  conversation  of  last  evening  ha^  left  a  very  pleasant  impres- 
sion upon  my  mind,  and  I  feel  a  desire  to  express  my  hope  that  the 
work  of  grace,  which  I  trust  the  Holy  Spirit  has  commenced  in  thy 
heart,  may  so  rapidly  progress,  that  thee  shall  very  soon  become  a 
possessor  of  the  confidence  and  consolation  of  the  decided  Christian. 
And  even  now,  dear  E.,  the  Lord  is  '  waiting  to  be  gracious.'  He 
does  not  require  a  tedious  succession  of  doubts  and  fears.  '  Trust 
simply  to  my  word,'  he  says,  '  and  leave  the  rest  to  me.'  '  Come 
unto  Me,'  is  our  Saviour's  invitation,  'and  I  will  give  you  rest.' 
Come,  then,  my  dear  young  friend.  How  gladly  would  I  bid  thee 
welcome  to  the  joys  of  Christian  fellowship,  how  fervently  will  I 
implore  for  thee  all  spiritual  blessings  in  Christ  Jesus  ! 

"  I  know  that  from  the  world,  thy  own  heart,  and  our  great  ad- 
versary, Satan,  thee  will  experience  opposition,  but  God  is  AlmiijTity, 
and  '  will,  with  every  temptation,  make  a  way  to  escape.'  '  Who  in 
the  strength  of  Jesus  trusts,  is  more  than  conqueror.'  Let  thy 
heart  be  continually  lifted  up  in  prayer;  remember  that  the  blood 
of  Christ  cleanseth  from  all  sin,  and  that  it  is  the  office  of  the  Holy 
Spirit  to  '  guide  into  all  truth.'     With  a  heart  filled  with  the  love 


214  COMMUNION    WITH     GOD.  [1838. 

of  Jesus,  how  tappy  and  how  useful  wilt  thou  be  !  How  it  would 
delight  thee  to  lead  thy  darling  little  sister  to  the  Saviour's, feet ! 
Though  loving  God  above  all  things,  thy  heart  will  glow  with  love 
unutterable  towards  all  thy  fellow-beings,  a  love  which  far  exceeds 
the  utmost  ardor  of  human  affection ;  and  how  constantly  would 
thee  bear  upon  thy  heart  at  a  throne  of  grace  each  member  of  thy 
beloved  family !  Wert  thou  with  me  now,  dear  E.,  we  would  to- 
gether ask  for  thee  all  these  blessings  of  thy  Heavenly  Father.  It 
would  give  me  great  pleasure  to  receive  a  reply  to  these  hurried  lines, 
but  it  is  only  as  a  favor  that  I  would  solicit  thy  confidence.  I  will 
remind  thee  of  one  other  promise  of  Scripture  before  I  say  farewell, 
for  its  application  will  remove  every  shadow  from  the  path  of  duty : 
'  In  all  thy  ways  acknowledge  Him,  and  He  shall  direct  thy  paths.' 
"  Trusting,  my  dear  E.,  that  Divine  strength  shall  be  ever  perfect 
in  our  weakness,  so  that  we  shall  be  conducted  in  peace  and  safety 
through  the  wilderness  of  this  world  unto  the  regions  of  eternal  rest, 
in  which  to  love  God,  and  to  praise  Him,  will  constitute  our  felicity, 
I  will  bid  thee,  in  Christian  love,  a  most  affectionate  farewell." 

"  Feb.  25th.  —  During  the  past  few  weeks  we  have  been 
continually  cheered  by  the  accession  of  one  and  another  of 
our  friends  to  the  church  of  Christ.  On  Thursday  evening, 
two  ladies  were  baptized  who  were  formerly  much  devoted  to 
the  world.  One  of  them  has  deeply  interested  my  feelings 
and  prayers  this  long  time,  though  we  have  not  had  any  in- 
tercourse. I  think  Thursday  evening  was  one  of  the  most 
pleasant  I  ever  passed.  I  also  -had  some  delightful  conver- 
sations last  week." 

^':3Iarc7i  19t7i,  Sunday.  —  This  has  been  a  day  of  privilege 
and  delight.  I  have  enjoyed  the  services  in  an  unusual  de- 
gree. Oh !  how  sweet  is  communion  with  God,  whether 
enjoyed  in  the  solitude  of  the  chamber,  in  social  prayer,  or 
in  the  solemn  services  of  the  sanctuary !  Why  do  we  not 
enjoy  it  more  constantly,  more  largely?  Because  of  unbe- 
lief. This  evening  has  been  delightful  and  solemn.  Part 
of  it  I  have  spent  in  reading  to  my  dear  mother,  for  whom  I 
have  felt  unusual  love  this  evening,  and  unusually  prayerful; 
much  of  it  in  fervent  supplication.     I  have  suffered  much 


1838.]  CONriRMATION.  215 

more  pain  recently,  but  not  too  much,  for  It  is  all  a  blessing, 
and,  I  trust,  ever  will  be,  through  the  goodness  of  my  Hea- 
venly Father." 

"  28^A.  —  This  has  been  a  most  happy  evening,  and  this 
happiness  has  consisted  in  communion  "with  God,  and  in 
Christian  intercourse." 

^^ April  1th,  Saturday/  evening.  —  How  happy  and  how 
thankful  I  have  felt  this  evening!  I  cannot  describe  the 
feelings  I  have  had,  and  will  not  attempt  it.  Yesterday  and 
to-day  I  have  had  to  spend  in  my  room,  and  have  enjoyed 
them  much.  One  thing  that  has  struck  me  with  peculiar 
force,  is  the  happiness  we  enjoy  as  a  family,  in  Christian 
intercourse.  What  a  blessing  is  it  that  we  are  of  one  heart 
and  of  one  mind  !" 

"  Ajjril  Sth.  — '  0  Lord,  open  Thou  my  lips,  and  my 
mouth  shall  show  forth  Thy  praise.'  Dear  was  con- 
firmed this  evening,  and  with  preparation  of  the  heart,  and 
the  blessing  of  the  Lord,  I  am  well  assured.  I  could  not  go 
to  church,  but  felt  submissive,  as  I  know  the  disappointment 
was  intended  for  my  good.  How  unworthy  am  I  of  the  pri- 
vileges I  enjoy  !  May  I  be  enabled  to  improve  them  hence- 
forth to  the  glory  of  God.  Thirty-eight  persons  have  come 
forward  this  evening.  0,  that  they  may  be  all  partakers  of 
eternal  rest !" 

"  11th.  —  The  solemn  season  of  Lent  has  passed  away. 
The  last  week,  especially,  was  one  of  great  privilege.  I 
would  not  forget  the  feelings  of  "Wednesday,  when  I  witnessed 
a  confirmation  at  Christ  Church,  and  felt  an  earnest  desire 
to  be  myself  confirmed  in  the  love  and  service  of  God.  On 
Good  Friday  Mr.  B.  preached  from  the  text,  '  Behold  the 
Man  !'  Mr.  C,  a  Rabbi,  was  with  us,  and  earnestly  did  I 
pray  that  he  might  believe  in  Jesus,  the  promised  Messiah. 
It  was  affecting,  indeed,  to  listen  to  the  lessons,  and  to  know 
that  one  was  present  who  despised  the  blessed  Gospel. 


216      "on  pleasing  god  by  doing  good."    [1838. 

"  How  glorious  a  triumph  of  truth  would  be  his  conver- 
sion !     May  God  grant  it,  for  Christ's  sake ! 

"  Our  prayer-meeting  on  Saturday  evening  was  very  so- 
lemn ;  and  on  Sunday  morning  how  joyous  was  the  reflection 
that  we  were  to  commemorate  the  dying  love  of  our  Re- 
deemer ! 

"  The  Communion  service  was  very  solemn.  My  great 
desire  was  to  know  how  to  praise  God  for  his  loving-kindness, 
and  that  it  might  duly  affect  the  remainder  of  my  life.  As 
we  all  went  up  to  the  chancel,  six  of  us  together,  I  was 
almost  overpowered  with  joy. 

"I   feel,    to-night,     'the    peace   which   passeth  under- 
standing.' " 

To  E.  W. 

"AprU22,  1838. 
"  My  very  dear  E. :  —  Indeed  thee  has  not  been  forgotten,  and 
would  have  ere  this  received  a  message  of  remembrance,  had  I  not 
awaited  the  reception  of  a  letter  from  thee.  I  have  very  often 
implored  for  thee  the  best  of  blessings  since  we  parted,  and  have 
remerabered^thee  with  sincere  affection.  May  our  love  abound  more 
and  more  as  we  learn  more  fully  'the  love  which  passeth  knowledge.' 
Oh,  that  we  may  so  imbibe  *  the  mind  which  was  in  Christ  Jesus,* 
that  our  hearts  shall  glow  with  tenderness  towards  all  mankind,  until 
we  shall  become  so  meek  and  lowly  that  we  shall  be  able  at  all  times 
to  exercise  that  '  charity  which  hopcth  all  things,  beareth  all  things, 
seeketh   not    her  own,   is  not  easily  provoked.'     What  a  blessed 

Gospel  is  that,  dear  E ,  which 'brings  'peace  on  earth,  good  will 

towards  men  !'  I  have  been  greatly  interested  in  a  chapter  in  one 
of  Philip's  works,  entitled,  '  On  pleasing  God  by  doing  good.'  The 
responsibilities  of  the  Christian  are  represented  in  language  so  appro- 
priate, so  solemn,  that  self-examination  must  be  the  result  of  its 
perusal,  and  self-reproach  /  also  found  to  be  a  consequence.  The 
judgment  scene  is  imagined,  and  the  professors  of  the  religion  of 
Jesus  directed  to  look  at  the  left  hand  of  the  Judge  :  '  See  we  none 
there  whom  we  might  have  counselled  —  none  whom  we  might  have 
drawn  under  the  Gospel  ?  We  were  ashamed  or  afraid  while  they 
were  on  earth,  but  could  we  be  so  now?  Oh  !  neither  shame  nor 
sloth  could  keep  us  silent,  nor  fear  hold  us  barck,  if  we  were  called 
or  allowed  to  rush  across  the  space  which  divides  the  righteous  from 


1838.]  GRATITUDE.  217 

the  wicked,  and  to  pluck  brands  from  the  burning !  Which  of  us 
would  not  try,  with  all  the  strength  of  his  new  immortality,  how 
many  he  could  bring  off?  We  would  gladly  lay  hold  of  any  one,  if 
we  might  deliver  him  from  'going  down  to  the  pit;'  but,  oh!  how 
gladly  of  a  servant  whom  we  had  neglected  in  our  own  house, —  of  a 
neighbor  for  whose  soul  we  had  not  cared  I' 

"Dear  E ,  let  us  lay  these  things  to  heart,  and  strive  to  win 

souls  to  Christ.  I  cannot  tell  thee  how  often  has  my  heart  been 
weighed  down  by  the  consciousness  of  unfaithfulness.  'Tis  to  Christ 
alone  I  can  repair  when  I  have  so  sinned  against  Him.  He  '  went 
about  doing  good.'  We  can,  it  is  true,  of  ourselves  do  no  good 
thing.  His  spirit  alone  can  awaken,  and  His  blood  redeem )  but  if 
we  labor  in  His  strength,  He  will  bless  even  our  feeble  instru- 
mentality. 

"  Thee  is  not  mistaken  in  the  impression  that  last  Sunday  was  a 
day  of  inexpressible  happiness,  as  we  bowed  down  together  to  pay 
our  vows  to  the  Lord  in  the  presence  of  His  people,  to  commemorate 
that  wondrous  love  which  has  provided  for  us  '  the  means  of  grace 
and  the  hope  of  glory.'  Not  for  a  whole  life  of  the  most  exalted 
earthly  enjoyment  would  I  have  exchanged  the  feelings  of  that  com- 
munion season.  I  felt  that  Christ  is  precious,  and  rejoiced  in  the 
plan  of  redemption.  Oh,  how  beautiful,  how  suitable  it  is  !  In  it 
we  see,  indeed,  the  wisdom  and  the  power  of  God.  I  do  long  to 
understand,  to  appreciate  it  more  fully,  to  be  so  filled  with  the  love 
of  Christ  as  to  lose  all  self-love,  to  live  altogether  to  the  service  of 
Him  who  has  shed  His  precious  blood  for  me  —  for  us  all.  My 
chief  desire  on  that  occasion,  dear  E.,  was  that  God  would  make  me 
more  grateful,  that  He  would  teach  me  how  to  praise  and  love  Him. 
Oh,  how  earnestly  I  desire  to  be  free  from  sin,  and  to  be  filled  with 
the  fulness  of  God  !  How  sweet  is  the  hope  of  Heavenly  rest;  but 
the  Lord's  will  be  done ;  so  that  He  will  give  me  grace  to  do  and 
suffer  it,  I  ask  no  more. 

"  Thee  speaks,  dear  E.,  of  the  sinfulness  of  thy  heart,  and  the  fear 
of  loving  too  well  the  things  of  the  present  world.  Were  it  not  for 
the  restraining,  guiding  grace  of  God,  the  merits  of  the  Lord  our 
righteousness,  we  could  have  no  hope  of  escape  from  dangers  around 
and  within  us.  But  that  grace  is  all-sufiicient  —  those  merits  all- 
prevailing.  Let  me  not  doubt,  but  earnestly  believe  that  through 
them  we  shall  be  victorious.  But  let  us  take  heed.  We  must 'watch 
and  pray.'  How  wretched  is  the  condition  of  the  being  whose  heart 
is  divided  between  God  and  the  world  !     '  They  that  run  after  other 

19 


218  EXHORTATIONS    TO    USETULNESS.        [1838. 

gods  shall  have  great  trouble.'  And  one  so  young,  so  prosperous, 
so  ardont  as  thyself,  is  greatly  exposed  to  temptation,  but  the  Lord 
will  keep  thee  under  the  shadow  of  His  wing.  May  thee  ever  there 
abide  ;  may  thee  ever  be  enabled  to  'count  all  things  but  loss  for  the 
excellency  of  the  knowledge  of  Christ  Jesus  our  Lord.'  "     *     * 

To  the  same. 

"  Christian  intercourse  constitutes  one  of  my  highest  enjoyments, 
and  to  hold  it  with  thee,  dear  E.,  will  ever  be  a  gratification,  and,  I 
trust,  a  means  of  improvement,  for  every  expression  of  spiritual  feel- 
infT  has  a  tendency  to  increase  it,  and  St.  Paul  tells -us  we  must  be 
'quickoncrs  of  each  other's  faith.' 

"  I  do  not  doubt  that  thy  consciousness  of  infirmity  is  so  great, 
that  thee  would  think  it  almost  impossible  to  bestow  benefit  upon 
others  ;  but  it  is  not  so.  Already  has  the  goodness  of  God  towards 
thee  excited  in  my  heart,  and  in  the  hearts  of  other  Christian  friends, 
emotions  of  gratitude,  and  an  increase  of  faith.  Thee  remembers 
the  prayer  of  the  Psalmist,  *  Let  them  that  fear  thee  be  glad  when 
they  see  me,  because  I  have  trusted  in  Thy  word.'  And  I  hope, 
too,  dear  E.,  that  thee  has  also  caused  joy  among  the  angels  of  God. 
How  sweet  is  that  promise,  '  I  will  bless  Thee,  and  Thou  shalt  be  a 
blessing !'  As  thee  experiences  more  and  more  of  the  goodness  of 
God,  thy  desire  that  all  shall  know  and  love  Him  will  increase,  and 
thy  efi"orts  for  their  good  will  become  more  earnest ;  but  I  would 
encourage  thee  to  come  tip  at  once  to  the  help  of  the  Lord  against 
the  mighty,  as  thee  has  opportunity,  to  'do  good  unto  all  men.'  That 
thee  may  do  this,  mingle  every  prayer  for  the  furtherance  of  the 
work  of  grace  in  thy  own  heart,  with  petitions  for  the  good  of  others, 
and  with  fervent  entreaties  that  thee  may  be  enabled  to  win  souls  to 
Christ.  Thus  will  self-love  be  overcome,  and  a  rich  blessing  come 
down  upon  thee.  '  Peace  on  earth  and  good-will  towards  men,'  is 
indeed  the  spirit  of  religion.  Is  thee  not  thankful  that  our  fallen 
nature  can  be  thus  elevated,  that  creatures  such  as  we  can  become 
conformed  to  the  image  of  Jesus  ?  AVe  will  ever  look  unto  Him, 
until  we  shall  be  prepared  to  dwell  with  Him  in  our  Father's 
house.     *     *     *     * 

*  *  *  ^' What  a  solemn  declaration  is  that, — '  If  the  righteous 
scarcely  are  saved,  where  shall  the  ungodly  and  the  sinner  appear !' 
When  we  reflect  upon  the  sinfulness,  the  deceitfulness  of  our  hearts, 
and  the  many  temptations  by  which  we  are  continually  surrounded, 
we  should  quite  despair  of  salvation,  were  it  not  for  the  justification 


1838.]  LETTER    TO    MISS    E.    W.  219 

and  sanctification  which  are  offered  us  in  a  crucified  Saviour.  Let 
us  look  unto  Him,  and  believe  tiiat  for  His  sake  we  rIkiU  be  saved. 

"  But  it  is  only  in  a  child-like  obedience  to  His  will  that  we  can 
expect  His  blessing;  we  must  take  up  the  cross  and  follow  Him. 
Let  us  remember  that  our  every  action  has  reference  to  eternity,  and 
strive  so  to  do,  and  speak  and  think.  I  am  sorry,  dear  E.,  that  I 
cannot,  or  rather  have  not,  offered  thee  a  more  consistent  example 
of  devotedness  to  this  blessed  cause ;  and  I  had  much  rather  that 
thee  should  reprove  me,  and  even  greatly  condemn  me  for  aught 
that  is  not  in  accordance  with  the  Gospel  precepts,  than  suffer  me 
'to  injure  thy  spiritual  interests,  or  to  suppose  that  religion  requires 
less  than  the  '  captivity  of  every  thought  to  the  obedience  of  Christ.' 
I  can  truly  say  to  my  Heavenly  Father,  '  Thy  word  is  very  pure, 
therefore  Thy  servant  loveth  it,'  and  would  not  bring  down  the 
standard,  but  rather  would  '  follow  after  holiness.' 

"  There  is  one  Christian  duty,  my  dear  E.,  that,  together  with 
the  frequent  and  regular  habit  of  reading  the  Scriptures,  prayer  and 
self-examination,  claims  our  serious  attention.  I  mean  the  observ- 
ance of  the  Sabbath.  Shall  we  not  strive  to  '  keep  it  holy  V  What 
a  blessed  influence  it  will  exert  upon  the  remaining  days  of  the 
■week,  if  thus  consecrated,  and  what  a  privilege  it  is  to  turn  away 
from  worldly  converse  on  this  day  to  hold  communion  with  the  Fa- 
ther of  our  spirits  !***>!= 

*  *  >;<  *  a  jJq^  strong  and  how  enduring,  dear  E.,  is  the 
attraction  of  Christian  sympathy.  In  an  unusual  degree  has  mine 
for  thee  been  solicited.  Could  we  visit  together  the  pleasant  retreats 
of  which  I  have  spoken  to  thee,  and  view  nature  in  her  summer  as- 
pect, listen  to  the  music  of  birds,  breathe  balmy  air,  and  realize  the 
presence  of  the  God  of  love,  surely  our  hearts  would  be  enlarged  to 
praise  Him,  and  in  so  secluded  and  consecrated  a  temple  we  would 
toycther  implore  the  spiritual  blessings  we  need.  We  inaj/  enjoy 
this  pleasure,  but  I  am  reminded  by  the  pressure  of  disease  that  it  is 
to  the  'better  country'  that  my  aspirations  after  happiness  are  to  be 
directed,  and  this  is  to  me  a  delightful  anticipation.  *  To  depart  and 
be  with  Christ  is  far  better;'  for  the  sad  influence  of  sin  within  and 
around  us  greatly  interferes  with  that  holy  communion  for  which  our 
souls  so  long :  never  shall  we  be  entirely  satisfied  until  '  this  mortal 
shall  have  put  on  immortality.'  But  even  in  this  sinful  world, 
and  amid  the  bustling  scenes  of  a  city,  can  the  child  of  God  enjoy 
many  sweet' foretastes  of  the  felicity  which  is  to  be  his  forever  in 
his  Father's  house.     Let  us  then  draw  largely  upon  these  resources  j 


220  LETTER     TO     MISS    E.    W.'  [1838. 

let  us  strive  to  make  great  attainments  in  spiritual  blessings;  let  us 
'hunger  and  thirst  after  righteousness.'  The  promise  offered  us  is, 
'  Open  thy  mouth  wide,  and  I  ■will  fill  it.' 

'<  Dear  E.,  several  years  have  passed  away  since  I  have  accepted 
the  offers  of  salvation,  and  experienced  the  consolations  of  the  Gos- 
pel. My  testimony  is,  that  'not  one  good  thing  has  failed  me  of  all 
that  the  Lord  hath  spoken.'  Often,  in  the  time  of  need,  have  I 
presented  the  plea  of  the  Psalmist,  '  Thou  hast  been  my  help,  leave 
me  not,  neither  forsake  me,  oh  Lord  God  of  my  salvation,'  and 
always  has  my  prayer  been  answered.  It  is  most  strange  that,  since 
such  has  been  my  experience  of  the  loving-kindness  of  the  Lord,  a 
song  of  gratitude  has  not  been  ever  the  effusion  of  my  heart,  and 
that  my  life  has  not  been  in  strict  conformity  with  His  will ; — that  I 
have  uot  made  a  suitable  return  for  so  much  mercy.  I  have  been 
too  ungrateful,  too  negligent,  too  much  conformed  to  this  world; 
therefore  as  a  poor  sinner  I  must  plead  the  merits  of  my  Saviour's 
blood,  and  ask  for  grace  to  help  in  time  to  come  ;  realizing,  and  wish- 
ing to  realize  still  more  deeply,  that  *  in  me,  that  is  in  my  flesh, 
there  dwelleth  no  good  thing;'  all  the  glory  of  our  salvation  must 
be  given  to  God." 

"il/r/?/  20//;,  Sunday  night.  —  Blessings  on  blessings  mul- 
tiplied have  been  granted  me  to-day.  .Nearness  to  God  in 
prayer,  especially  in  the  services  of  the  sanctuary, —  a  bless- 
ing upon  the  truths  of  His  holy  Word,  —  and  the  love  of 
Christ  in  striving  to  "win  others  to  His  service.  I  took  M.'s 
place  in  the  Sunday  School,  and  felt  great  interest  in  talking 
to  the  girls.  Paid  a  visit  to  two  persons  who  are  serious, 
and  had  a  very  solemn  time  with  them.  I  shall  not  soon 
forget  this  day. 

'■^June  ?>d.  —  My  thoughts  wandered  too  much  during  the 
afternoon  service.  If  there  were  no  other  happiness  in 
heaven  than  freedom  from  wandering  thoughts,  it  w^ould  be 
enough  to  make  us  long  to  go  there.  There  we  shall  serve 
God  without  weariness.  No  physical  debility  will  there  be 
felt,  and  no  desire  that  is  not  holiness  unto  the  Lord.  Surely 
it  will  be  far  better. 

''June  10/7k  — This  is  the  blessed  Sabbath.  The  Lord 
has  always  blessed  me,  and  I  hope  He  will  be  with  me  all  the 


1838.]  LETTER    TO    DR.    CLARK.  221 

day  lon<i;.     May  He  teacli  me  to  remember  to  keep  it  lioly, 
in  thought,  word  and  deed. 

'■^Evening.  —  This  has  been  a  day,  I  trust,  of  spiritual 
improvement." 

To  the  Rev.  John  A.  ClarJc. 

"  Phila.,  April  24,  1838. 

"  How  thanlvful  I  should  be,  were  it  in  my  power  to  convey  to 
you  this  morning,  my  dear  Pastor,  a  verbal  expression  of  my  affec- 
tionate sympathy,  and  to  receive  in  return  the  Christian  counsel  I 
have  ever  found  you  so  ready  to  extend !  The  pastoral  calls  we 
have  received  from  you  —  my  visits  to  the  vestry-room  —  are  remem- 
bered with  interest  and  with  gratitude;  and  I  feel  that  it  is  not  a 
privilege  only,  but  a  duty,  to  ask  for  you  continually  those  spiritual 
blessings  you  have  taught  me  to  more  highly  appreciate.  The  Lord 
has  been  yoi;r  help,  and  He  will  never  leave  nor  forsake  you.  It  is 
the  prayer  of  faith  which  ascends  to  the  mercy-seat,  when  you  are 
commended  to  the  guardianship  of  the  Most  High  ;  and  it  is  with 
the  eye  of  faith  that  we  must  behold  the  many  trials  and  privations 
to  which  you  are  exposed,  or  we  should  be  greatly  discouraged.  One 
consolation  to  be  derived  from  the  recent  dispensation  of  Providence, 
is  the  hope  that  it  is  ordered  for  the  everlasting  benefit  of  some,  I 
trust  many,  immortal  beings,  who,  but  for  you,  would  have  been 
untaught  the  way  of  salvation.  Perhaps  God  has  thrown  you  into 
the  midst  of  superstition  and  idolatry,  that  your  '  spirit  may  be  stirred 
within  you,'  and  such  earnest  supplications  drawn  from  your  full 
heart,  as  shall  enter  into  His  ears,  and  cause  Him  to  diffuse  around 
you  the  marvellous  light  of  the  Gospel.  I  know  you  would  suffer 
any  thing  for  the  good  of  souls,  and  I  am  persuaded  that  through 
the  grace  which  will  be  given  you,  you  will  be  made  a  blessing 
wherever  you  go.  This  is  one  of  the  most  believing  prayers  I  offer 
for  you.     *     *     * 

"  How  much  we  wished  for  you  on  Easter  Sunday  !  iMany  new 
communicants  were  added  to  our  number,  and  we  were  constrained 
to  offer  to  God  our  fervent  thanksgiving  for  His  goodness  toward 
them.  And  as  a  family,  I  trust  our  united  prayers  and  praises 
ascended  to  a  throne  of  grace.  Oh,  how  thankful  I  felt  to  God  for 
the  gift  of  His  Son  ;  how  was  my  heart  drawn  out  in  love  to  that 
Redeemer  who  counted  not  His  life  dear  that  «y;  might  live;  and 
how  I  rejoiced  in  the  love  of  the  Spirit  of  grace,  whose  ofl&cc  it  is 

19* 


222  SPIRITUAL    COMMUNINGS.  [1838, 

to  testify  of  Christ,  and  transform  into  His  glorious  image  !     Truly, 
tliis  was  a  hallowed  season, —  one  ever  to  be  remembered. 

''And  now,  with  one  more  expression  of  affectionate  regard,  and 
an  added  request  that  you  will  ever  remember  me  at  a  throne  of 
grace,  I  must  say  farewell.  The  hope  of  listening  once  more  to  your 
counsels,  of  uniting  with  you  in  the  solemn  services  of  our  sanctuary, 
and  of  telling  you,  that  '  when  the  earthly  house  of  this  tabernacle 
shall  be  dissolved,'  I  shall  rejoice  to  '  depart  and  be  with  Christ,'  is 
very  pleasant;  but,  although  I  know  not  how  this  will  be,  I  do  anti- 
cipate, my  much-loved  Pastor,  a  happy  reunion  with  you  in  that 
blessed  abode  'where  all  the  ransomed  Church  of  God'  shall  meet 
'  to  sin  no  more.'  " 

"  June  17th.  —  I  must  not  forget  the  happiness  of  this 
morning.  Have  had  great  comfort  in  the  Bible,  and  in 
prayer.  Thought  I  would  go  down  to  the  summer-house 
before  church,  and  read  my  Scripture  Promises  and  Gems  of 
Sacred  Poetry.  I  did  so  with  great  delight,  and  felt  very 
happy  and  thankful.  The  birds  were  singing  sweetly,  —  the 
trees  formed  a  delightful  shade,  —  and  as  I  returned  to  the 
house,  I  gathered  a  few  beautiful  rose-buds,  which  seemed  to 
me  a  sweet  memento  of  a  Heavenly  Father's  love. 

^^Juhj  Gth.  —  This  is  a  beautiful  moonlight  evening.  I 
have  been  sitting  at  the  window,  and  thinking  of  heavenly 
things.  I  have  been  much  grieved  by  the  interruptions  that 
have  so  unusually  interfered  with  my  twilight  devotions.  I 
have  been  obliged  to  go  out  to'tea,  and  to  go  early;  and 
though  I  have  tried  to  pray  before  I  went,  and  while  sur- 
rounded by  others,  I  have  longed  for  hours  of  communion 
with  God.  Oh,  my  Heavenly  Father,  when  wilt  Thou  take 
me  to  live  in  Thy  immediate  presence  ?  When  shall  my 
every  thought  be  Thine  ?  Thy  will  be  done.  Only  teach 
me  to  please  Thee  in  all  things, —  to  discharge  cheerfully  and 
faithfully  the  social  duties  of  life,  while  my  heart  shall  bo 
fixed  on  Thee. 

"  I  thought  much,  last  evening,  of  those  words,  '  For  our 
conversation  is  in  heaven,  from  whence  also  we  look  for  the 


1838.]  SELF-EXAMINATION.  223 

Lord  Jesus  Christ.'  It  is  not  because  I  am  so  very  spiritual 
tliat  I  have  so  great  a  desire  to  escape  from  worldly  society : 
one  reason  is,  that  I  am  not  more  so.  My  heart  does  not 
glow  as  it  should  with  love  for  their  souls.  I  know  that  I  am 
far  more  sinful  than  I  realize ;  that  I  have  too  much  pride, 
and  that  God  must  see  in  me  much  that  is  contrary  to  His 
will.  How  many  precious  moments  do  I  waste  —  how  many 
sinful  words  do  I  speak  —  how  many  opportunities  I  lose  of 
doing  good  to  souls  !  How  inadequate  is  my  love,  how  weak 
my  faith,  and  yet  Jesus  is  my  Saviour,  and  there  is  to  me 
'no  condemnation.'  Oh  !  shall  I  one  day  dwell  with  Him  in 
heaven  ? 

"Aug.  2d.  —  Shall  not  soon  forget  the  feelings  of  Friday 
afternoon,  —  they  were  very  unhappy.  I  have  done  wrong. 
I  went  down  to  the  river,  and  sat  on  the  bank,  but  the  beau- 
tiful scenery  gave  me  no  pleasure,  because  I  feared  that  I 
had  offended  my  Heavenly  Father.  I  soon  knew,  however, 
that  I  was  pardoned  for  Christ's  sake,  and  wished  to  be 
humbled.  What  would  I  do,  if  deprived  of  the  light  of  my 
Father's  countenance  !  Oh  !  then  I  should  feel  the  weight 
of  the  physical  suffering  He  now  enables  me  to  bear  with 
patience  ;  then  should  I  fall  into  sins,  which  His  grace  now 
prevents  me  from  committing.  May  I  cling  to  the  cross,  and 
strive  to  do  the  will  of  God  in  all  things. 

"  8^/i.  —  Could  not  write  more  on  Sunday,  but  had  much 
more  to  say.  It  Avas  a  blessed  day.  The  communion,  the 
sermon,  the  service,  all  were  sweet,  for  the  blessing  of  God 
rested  upon  them.  The  text  was,  '  The  sacrifices  of  God  are  a 
broken  spirit.'  I  felt  thankful  for  the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus, 
for  it  was  plainly  set  forth." 

To  E.  W. 

"June  16,  1838. 
****«];  opened  just  now  my  little  book  of  Scripture 
Promises,  that  I  might  find  some  words  of  consolation  peculiarly 
appropriate  to  thy  state  of  mind ;  but  I  find  so  many  there,  that  a 


224  EVIDENCES     OF    USEFULNESS.  [1838. 

selection  I  would  not  make,  but  urge  tliee  to  receive  tliem  all  in 
their  fulness  and  freeness.  Thee  is  pained  by  an  increasing  sense 
of  the  sinfulness  of  thy  heart.  Return  thanks  to  that  blessed  Spirit 
who  is  teaching  this  sad  but  needi'ul  lesson,  and  turning  from  the 
mournful  picture,  behold,  with  fiith  and  adoring  gratitude,  'the 
Lamb  of  God  which  takcth  away  the  sins  of  the  world.'  'As  Moses 
lifted  up  the  serpent  in  the  wilderness,  even  so  must  the  Son  of 
man  be  lifted  up.'  Look  unto  this  blessed  Saviour.  He  has  said, 
'  He  that  followeth  me  shall  not  walk  in  darkness,  but  shall  have 
the  light  of  life.'  How  displeasing  to  God  must  be  a  want  of  con- 
fidence in  his  promises ! 

'  What  more  can  He  say  than  to  you  He  hath  said, 
You  who  unto  Jesus  for  refuge  have  fled  ?' 

"  How  severely,  yet  affectionately,  does  the  Saviour  reprove  those 
who  were  unwilling  to  confide  in  Him,  '  Why  are  ye  fearful,  oh  ye 
of  little  faith  ?'  Thee  asks  my  opinion  of  thy  spiritual  state.  My 
humble  confidence  that  thee  has  passed  from  death  unto  life  is  not 
dependent  upon  thy  occasional  frames  of  mind,  but  upon  my  belief 
that  the  God  of  all  grace  has  taken  thy  soul  into  His  keeping ;  that 
He  has  commenced  a  work  of  grace  in  thy  heart  which  He  will  gra- 
ciously carry  on,  converting  the  dispensations  of  His  providence  to 
the  furtherance  of  this  object.  '  All  things  shall  work  together  for 
good  to  them  that  love  God.'  Let  thy  supreme  desire  be  to  know, 
to  do  and  to  suffer  His  will,  and  all  shall  be  well.     *     * 

"I  feel  very  thankful  to  be  once  more  surrounded  by  birds,  trees 
and  flowers;  and  earnestly  pray  that  the  contemplation  of  the  gifts 
of  our  kind  Father's  love  may  more  closely  draw  my  heart  to  Him- 
self." 

Among  those  ministers  of  tlie  Prot.  E.  Church  who  have 
confessed  a  large  debt  of  gratitude  to  Miss  Allibone's  affec- 
tionate and  earnest  counsels,  and  who,  but  for  her  interest 
in  their  spiritual  welfare,  might  never  have  been  engaged  in 
the  work  of  Pastors  and  Evangelists,  are  two  of  her  cousins. 
Left  orphans  in  a  •western  State,  they  were  the  early  objects 
of  her  deep  solicitude.  The  sincerity  of  her  friendship,  and 
the  blessing  which  attended  her  messages  of  Christian  love, 
will  appear  from  a  number  of  her  letters  to  these  brothers, 
inserted  in  this  memoir.  Of  these,  the  following  letter  is 
addressed  to  the  elder,  the  Rev.  J.  Howard  Smith. 


1838.]  LETTER    TO    A    COUSIN.  225 

To  J.  Iloward  Smith. 

"August  2i)ih,  1838. 

"Your  impression  that  I  am  not  unwilling  to  continue  our  corres- 
pondence is  perfectly  correct,  and  if  any  remarks  I  may  be  enabled 
to  make  shall  prove  productive  of  pleasure  or  benefit,  I  shall  not 
"egret  the  hour  I  now  and  then  devote  to  you. 

"  In  addition  to  the  sympathy  always  excited  by  the  situation  of 
an  orphan,  my  interest  in  you  as  one  who  may  be  useful  in  the  ex- 
tension of  our  Redeemer's  kingdom  is  warmly  elicited,  and  though  I 
deeply  regret  to  hear  that  you  have  not,  until  now,  submitted  your 
affections  to  Him  who  alone  is  able  to  bless  and  protect  you,  I  will 
indulge  the  hope  that/?'07?i  this  tune  you  will  say,  '  My  Father,  Thou 
art  the  Guide  of  my  youth.'  You  know  that  the  Scriptures  recog- 
nize but  two  classes,  —  those  who  are  living  without  hope  and  with- 
out God  in  the  world,  and  those  who  are  new  creatures  in  Christ 
Jesus,  and  we  learn  from  them  that  unless  we  belong  to  the  latter 
class,  however  exemplary  our  external  deportment,  we  cannot  hope 
to  enter  the  kingdom  of  heaven.  May  I  not  hope,  my  dear  cousin, 
that  you  will  at  once  become  one  of  those  who  '  have  passed  from 
death  unto  life  !'  I  know  how  impossible  it  is  that  you  should 
change  your  own  heart,  but  our  Saviour  says,  '  Come  unto  Me.' 
Come  to  Him  just  as  you  are.  Persevere  in  prayer  for  the  influences 
of  the  Holy  Spirit.  Ask  God  to  show  you  your  sinfulness,  and  your 
need  of  a  Saviour.  I  do  want  you  to  become  a  decided  and  devoted 
Christian.  How  great  a  blessing  would  you  then  prove  to  your  dear 
brother !  And  if  he,  too,  will  give  his  heart  to  the  Saviour,  how 
much  happiness  will  you  enjoy  together !  I  am  very  happy  to  learn 
that  you  have  taken  a  class  in  Sunday  School.  Do  you  not  find  it 
very  interesting ?  Does  R.  attend?  Mother  desires  him  to  accept 
a  little  Testament,  which  she  sends,  and  I  am  sure  it  would  give 
her  pleasure  to  learn  that  he  is  in  the  daily  habit  of  reading  this 
blessed  book. 

"Believe  me  your  very  sincere  friend  and  cousin." 

"  Aug.  26tJi.  —  Have  been  twice  to  church  to-day,  but 
have  not  felt  very  animated.  Have  felt  less  activity  of  mind 
lately,  owing,  in  a  great  degree,  to  the  extreme  heat,  and 
the  pressure  of  disease.  I  do  not  wish,  even  in  my  Diary, 
to  speak  much  of  suffering.  I  have  always  found  that  God 
makes  perfect  His  strength  in  my  weakness.  I  am  conscious 
p 


226  THE     GENERAL     CONVENTION,  [1838. 

that  I  do  not  strive  as  I  should  do  after  a  constant  energy 
in  prayer.  Such  petitions  as  I  oiler  would  be  disregarded  by 
any  but  a  merciful  God. 

"  Paid  a  visit  last  "vveek,  in  which  I  experienced  a  remark- 
able answer  to  prayer.  I  felt  that  it  ought  to  increase  my 
faith. 

"  My  heart  has  been  weighed  down  of  late  by  the  sins  of 
the  Church,  —  the  dishonor  that  is  brought  upon  religion  by 
the  worldly-mindedness  and  the  unenlightened  opinions  of 
professors.  Why  is  this  ?  Oh  !  how  must  it  appear  in  the 
sight  of  a  holy  God  ?  I  sometimes  feel  as  though  He  must 
purify  the  Church  for  His  own  name's  sake.  I  want  Him  to 
prune  the  vine  of  His  own  planting,  and  cause  it  to  bring 
forth  more  fruit,  that  He  may  be  glorified.  My  Heavenly 
Father  !  do  not  let  me  bring  reproach  upon  Thy  cause  :  any 
affliction  rather  than  this. 

"  On  Wednesday  morning  went  to  the  opening  of  the 
General  Convention.  The  sermon  was  deeply  interesting. 
What  an  appeal  to  the  sympathies  of  all  who  love  Christ  and 
His  Church  !  The  charge  from  Bishop  M.  was  delightful,  — 
stirring  new  energies.  I  was  thankful  for  the  truth  thus 
declared,  and  earnestly  desired  to  lay  to  heart  the  instruc- 
tions he  offered." 

"  Se2')f.  11th.  —  We  should,  surely  return  most  hearty 
thanks  to  God  for  His  goodness  to  our  beloved  Zion,  and  for 
the  privileges  which  his  favored  members  enjoy.  We  have 
listened  this  evening  to  the  pastoral  letter  of  the  House  of 
Bishops.  It  was  according  to  the  Gospel  of  Christ,  —  more 
than  this  I  cannot  say  of  it.  0,  that  the  spirit  of  love  and 
unity,  of  holiness  and  ti'uth  there  expressed,  may  be  infused 
into  the  hearts  of  all  who  kneel  at  her  altars,  so  that  we  may 
be  living  epistles,  known  and  read  of  all  men !  The  Lord 
has  answered  prayer  in  reference  to  our  Convention,  and  it 
has  been  conducted  with  great  harmony.  IMay  we  all  thank 
Him  for  it." 


1838.]  PRATER.  227 

To  her  Sista'  S. 

"  Temora,  Oct.  2,  1838. 
*  *  *  "  I  do  not  wonder  that  the  anticipation  of  increased 
responsibility  should  excite  an  earnest  desire  for  '  grace  to  help  in 
time  of  need,'  and  how  comforting  it  is  to  know  that  that  grace  is 
ever  freely  given  !  That  blessed  promise  — '  In  all  thy  ways  ac- 
knowledge Him,  and  He  shall  direct  thy  paths,'  is  to  me  one  of  the 
most  useful  and  consoling  passages  of  Scripture.  Experience  has 
taught  us  that  we  are  ignorant  and  sinful.  We  are  aware  that  un- 
tried and  formidable  diihculties  may  be  in  our  path,  and  conscious 
that  each  action  may  exercise  an  important  influence  upon  our  own 
characters,  and  the  welfare  of  our  fellow-beings.  We  would  not  do 
aught  to  inj  ure  the  cause  of  our  Redeemer,  and  yet  we  know  that 
unless  the  Lord  hold  us  up,  we  are  not  for  one  moment  safe.  How 
earnest  then  become  our  petitions  for  light  and  strength  !  Oh,  none 
but  a  Christian  can  comprehend  the  trembling  earnestness  with 
which  the  blessing  of  Heaven  is  implored  on  occasions  when  the 
worldling  desires  no  better  strength  than  his  own.  And  how  is  the 
fervor  of  supplication  increased  when  the  believer  looks  from  his  own 
sinful  heart  to  the  world  around  him  !  He  sees  that  not  the  pro- 
fessed child  of  this  world  alone  violates  the  commands  of  His  Maker; 
from  them  he  expects  such  conduct ;  but  that  many  who  name  the 
name  of  Christ  have  not  departed  from  iniquity.  He  sees  many, 
who,  he  believes,  have  sincerely  assumed  the  vows  of  God,  bring 
reproach  upon  His  cause  by  levity,  by  self  confidence,  in  ten  thou- 
sand ways,  while  they  alone  are  unconscious  of  the  injury  that  is 
done.  Then  his  heart  is  sorrowful,  and  with  many  tears  he  implores 
the  Lord  to  grant  that  He  will  not  let  any  that  wait  on  Him  be 
ashamed  for  His  sake.  Oh,  that  the  Lord  may  sanctify  us,  as  a 
family,  to  His  service,  so  that  all  our  influence  may  be  given  to  ad- 
vance His  kingdom  !  I  greatly  desire  to  so  love  Him,  to  be  so  filled 
with  a  sense  of  liis  goodness,  His  greatness  and  holiness,  as  to  lose 
all  self-love;  to  forget  myself  in  Him;  to  speak,  and  feel  and  act 
solely  for  His  glory.  There  is  much  that  I  have  not  attained;  would 
that  I  were  more  sensible  of  this  truth  ! 

"I  rejoice  with  you  in  the  happy  result  of  your  eff"ort  to  do  good; 
it  is  most  encouraging,  and  I  trust,  my  dear  sister,  that  you  may  be- 
come the  instrument  of  winning  many  souls  to  Christ.  Your  natural 
energy  and  perseverance  qualify  you  for  extensive  usefulness  when 
the  Lord  accompanies  them.  My  prayer  very  often  is  ofiered  that 
you  may  be  prepared  to  do  our  Father's  will  in  all  things.     I  would 


228  JUDICIOUS     BENEVOLENCE.  [1838. 

have  you  to  'put  on  the  whole  armor  of  God'  when  you  come  up  to 
His  help  against  the  mighty. 

"  I  am  younger  than  you,  my  dear  sister,  and  very  inferior  in  in- 
tellect, and  in  many  things  that  adorn  your  character,  and  yet  I 
have  been  placed  in  a  peculiar  relation  towards  you.  I  have  longed 
for  your  salvation  ;  I  have  seen  you  brought  into  the  fold  of  Christ; 
I  have  stood  at  your  side  as  you  entered  into  covenant  with  my  Fa- 
ther and  my  God,  and  I  felt  my  heart  full  of  gratitude  toward  Him, 
and  love  for  youj  and,  oh,  how  humbled,  how  unworthy  did  I  feel 
on  that  solemn  occasion  !  In  having  assumed,  so  often  as  I  have 
done,  the  office  which  then  devolved  on  me,  I  am  still  more  solemnly 
pledged  to  the  service  of  the  Lord.  Always  pray  that  He  may 
'  perfect  that  which  concerneth  me,'  for  He  knows  that  I  would  not 
injure  His  cause  j  and  yet,  if  left  to  myself  a  moment,  I  cannot 
stand.  'Thou  hast  been  my  help;  leave  me  not,  neither  forsake 
me,  thou  God  of  my  salvation.' 

"  There  are  several  families  in  this  neighborhood,  in  whom  I  feel 
great  interest,  and  do  pray  that  the  path  of  duty  concerning  them 
may  be  plain.  If  I  run  without  being  sent  in  these  cases,  I  shall 
do  much  harm,  for  religious  influence  has  not  been  often  attempted, 
and  I  feel  an  increasing  sense  of  the  danger  of  giving  oft'cnce  where 
I  would  do  good.  An  injudicious  effort  may  excite  enmity  and 
opposition  which  may  close  every  avenue  to  the  affections.  How 
impressive  is  St.  Paul's  expression,  '  Knowing  the  terrors  of  the 
Lord,  "we  persuade  men,'  and  I  have  been  struck  recently  with  the 
forbearance  of  our  dear  Redeemer,  in  His  intercourse  with  His  dis- 
ciples. How  mildly  He  reproves,  and  how  readily  He  forgave  their 
folly  and  unbelief." 

To  E.  W. 

"Oct.  2,  1838. 

*  *  'A-  a  Very  often,  when  I  have  attempted  to  counsel  or  to 
warn,  a  deep  sense  of  unworthiness  has  come  over  my  mind,  and  I 
have  almost  wondered  that  I  could  assume  so  solemn  a  responsibility, 
and  then  I  have  prayed  that  the  Lord  would  preserve  me  from 
injuring  His  cause,  and  that  if  it  were  His  will  that  I  should  make 
efforts  for  the  good  of  others,  He  would  grant  me  the  teachings  of 
His  Holy  Spirit,  and  so  make  perfect  His  strength  in  my  weak- 
ness.     *      *      H-' 

''  The  sense  of  sinfulness,  of  which  thee  speaks,  is  the  work  of  the 
Spirit,  and  ought  to  excite  thy  gratitude.  May  it  be  deepened  more 
and  more,  that  thee  may  be  induced  with  deep  humility  to  prostrate 


1838.]  LETTERS    OF    AFFECTION.  229 

thyself  at  the  foot  of  the  Cross^,  and  there  feel  that  there  is  for  thee 
no  condemnation. 

'  Come,  freely  come,  by  guilt  oppressed  ; 
On  Jesus  cast  thy  weighty  load.' 

But  these  doubts  thee  speaks  of,  dear  E.,  should  excite  thee  to 
faithful  self-examination.  It  is  not  our  Father's  -will  that  His 
children  should  walk  in  darkness.  If  they  will  'stay'  themselves 
upon  Him,  He  will  cause  them  to  rejoice;  but  we  cannot  be  happy 
unless  we  obey  the  will  of  God  so  far  as  we  know  it,  unless  we  are 
willing  to  forsake  all  and  follow  Him.  Oh,  that  the  path  of  duty 
may  be  made  plain  to  thee,  and  that  grace  may  be  given  thee  to 
walk  therein." 

To  her  Mother. 

"Oct.  6,  1838. 

"Dearest  Mother:  —  Thee  is  always  desirous  to  receive  tidings 
from  thy  absent  children,  and  they  are  always  in  haste  to  assure  thee 
that  though  surrounded  by  other  objects  of  interest,  still  they  love 
their  mother  best.  It  is  a  great  blessing  to  possess  a  friend  so  kind, 
so  ready  to  forgive  —  one  whose  love  has  been  so  fully  proved,  and 
found  so  faithful.  We  cannot  duly  appreciate  the  treasure  we  owa 
in  thee,  our  precious  Parent,  but  we  do  all  love  thee  more  and  more, 
and  desire  to  do  all  that  in  us  lies  to  increase  thy  happiness.  And 
since  we  cannot  as  we  would  discharge  the  debt  of  gratitude  we  owe, 
we  lift  our  united  prayer  to  the  Giver  of  all  good,  that  all  spiritual 
blessings  in  Christ  Jesus  may  be  given  thee ;  that  communion  with 
the  Father,  thi'ough  the  Son  and  Holy  Spirit,  may  be  thy  portion 
while  thee  sojourns  here  below,  and  that  we  may  all  assemble  in  a 
heavenly  home,  to  praise  for  ever  the  '  Father  of  the  fatherless  and 
the  widow's  God.'  " 

To  her  Sister  S. 

"Oct.  16,  1838. 

*  *  *  "  I  do  love  and  praise  Him  for  my  beloved  family.  He 
has  not  left  me  to  suffer  without  sympathy,  but  has  so  surrounded 
me  with  kind  voices  and  warm  hearts,  that  gratitude  and  joy  have 
caused  the  tear  to  flow  that  physical  suffering  could  not  bring.  May 
the  Lord  lift  up  the  light  of  His  countenance  upon  you  all;  may  He 
give  you  peace  always ;  may  His  smile  irradiate  each  scene  of  pros- 
perity ;  may  the  consolations  of  His  grace  be  with  you  in  '  all  time 
of  adversity;'  may  He  be  with  you  in  the  hour  of  death,  and  grant 
that  in  the  day  of  judgment  we  may  stand  together  in  the  ranks  of 

20 


230  CONFIDENCE    IN    DANGER.  [1838. 

the  redeemed,  ready  to  obey  the  summons,  'enter  into  the  joy  of 
your  Lord.' "     *     *     * 

"iVbv.  bill.  —  This  has  been  a  day  of  blessing.  Oh,  for  a 
heart  to  praise  my  God  !  Surely  no  one  has  more  cause  for 
gratitude.  Earthly  blessings  cluster  around  me, —  and  then 
I  have  a  hope  in  Christ,  the  comforts  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  the 
Word  of  God  for  '  a  lamp  unto  my  feet  and  a  light  unto  my 
path,'  much  time  for  communion  with  my  Heavenly  Father, 
delightful  Christian  intercourse  with  my  own  family,  besides 
their  love  and  kind  offices,  and  innumerable  blessings. 
Surely  I  should  love  the  Author  of  every  good  and  perfect 

gift! 

"  10^/i.  —  Have  spent  this  week  delightfully.  Much  of  it 
has  been  occupied  in  writing  letters.  I  know  not  any  em- 
ployment in  which  we  should  more  deeply  realize  our  insuffi- 
ciency, and  need  of  the  Spirit's  influence ;  and  I  desire 
earnestly  to  implore  them  always  that  I  may  not  write  my 
own  words. 

"  We  had  reason  to  believe  that  some  one  was  trying  to 
get  into  the  house,  but  we  put  our  trust  in  the  Lord,  and 
slept  delightfully.  Just  before  I  went  to  bed,  I  opened  on 
the  passage  in  my  precious  book  of  Promises  — '  The  Lord  is 
my  light  and  my  salvation,  whom  shall  I  fear  ?  The  Lord  is 
the  strength  of  my  life,  of  whom  shall  I  be  afraid?'  " 

To  E.  W. 

"Nov.  15,  1838. 
^  ^  *  ill  Lord  !  what  wilt  Thou  have  me  to  do  V  Let  this 
be  the  language  of  our  hearts,  dear  E.  Let  it  ascend  to  heaven 
with  our  first  waking  thought,  and  the  path  of  duty  will  be  made 
plain.  How  delightful  is  the  confidence,  that  if,  in  all  our  ways,  we 
'acknowledge'  an  Almighty  Being,  He  will  'direct  our  steps' !  And 
the  fulfilment  of  this  promise  may  be  claimed  upon  occasions  that, 
in  the  eyes  of  the  children  of  this  world,  appear  too  trivial  for  the 
notice  or  direction  of  the  Most  High.  But  His  cliildrcn  have 
received  so  many  proofs  of  His  love  that  they  learn  to  confide  in  His 
guardianship,  to  trust  Him  as  a  kind  Father  who  pitieth  them,  and 


1838.]  HUMILIATION.  231 

who  is  omnipotent  as  well  as  merciful.  Blessed  are  they  who  have 
such  a  friend  ;  they  have  a  '  goodly  heritage.'  Christians  do  not 
realize  the  blessedness  of  their  portion.  Oh,  that  we  were  more 
absorbed  by  the  contemplation  of  eternal  things;  then  would  we 
learn  to  *  tread  the  world  beneath  our  feet,'  and  to  rejoice  that  we 
are  'fellow-citizens  with  the  saints  and  of  the  household  of  God.' 
We  would  not  be  so  easily  drawn  aside  by  temptations,  now  so 
powerful,  but  which  we  should  then  learn  to  despise.  And  then, 
how  spiritual  would  be  our  thoughts  and  words,  how  consistent  and 
useful  our  example  I  We  should  see  more  of  the  sinfulness  of  sin 
and  of  the  beauty  of  holiness,  and  rejoice  more  than  ever  in  the 
perfect  atonement  and  holy  character  of  the  blessed  Jesus.  How 
thankful  should  we  be  that  we  have  begun  to  learn  this  lesson  !  Oh, 
may  it  be  our  study  through  time  and  eternity.  To  think  that  in 
heaven  we  shall  fully  comprehend  the  love  of  Christ !  I  once  thought 
that  among  the  highest  joys  of  heaven  would  be  illimitable  know- 
ledge, but  the  exercise  of  faith  is  so  delightful,  and  so  entire  is  my 
confidence  in  the  justice  and  wisdom  of  God,  that  I  only  desire  my 
love  and  gratitude  to  be  increased,  and  to  dwell  in  His  presence  for 
ever;  this  will  be  enough  of  happiness. 

"  We  heard  a  very  impressive  sermon,  last  Sunday,  from  the  text, 
'Thy  kingdom  come;'  and  when  the  professor  of  the  religion  of 
Jesus  was  asked  what  he  had  done,  and  what  more  he  could  do,  to 
advance  the  Redeemer's  cause,  I  felt  that  I  had  been  very  unfaithful. 

"  I  think  our  responsibility  toward  children  is  very  great;  they  so 
closely  imitate  the  example  of  those  who  are  older,  and  they  are  so 
willing  to  treasure  in  their  memories  the  important  truths  which  wo 
too  often  neglect  to  teach  them." 

"18^/2,  Sunday  evening^ — And  the  last  that  I  expect  to 
spend  at  Temora.  On  a  review  of  the  past  I  find  much 
cause  for  gratitude  and  regret.  I  have  enjoyed  many  bless- 
ings, both  temporal  and  spiritual,  and  many  opportunities  of 
usefulness.  Some  of  them  the  Lord  has  enabled  me  to  im- 
prove, and  to  Him  be  all  the  glory.  But  very  many,  I  fear, 
I  have  neglected,  and  I  have  need  to  pray  earnestly  for  for- 
giveness. I  have  not  been  meek  and  lowly,  as  I  should  have 
been ;  I  am  naturally  impatient  of  contradiction,  and  impe- 
tuous  in  arg-ument.     Much  has   been  done  for  me  in  this 


232  THOUGHTS    OF    HEAVEN.  [1838. 

respect,  but  I  need  mucli  more  grace,  and  for  this  I  would 
pray,  —  for  I  do  desire  to  be  gentle  and  humble,  to  be  con- 
formed to  the  image  of  my  dear  Redeemer.  Another  of  my 
besetting  sins  is  unwatchfulness  in  conversation  —  want  of 
constant  recollection  of  the  presence  of  the  Almighty.  I  am 
often  astonished  at  myself.  May  the  blood  of  Jesus  atone 
for  my  daily  transgressions,  and  the  Holy  Spirit  sanctify  my 
heart." 

The  author  has  purposely  refrained  from  comments  upon 
the  striking  passages  that  occur  so  often  in  the  Diary  and 
Letters,  preferring  to  leave  them  to  make  their  own  impres- 
sion. It  would  be  superfluous  and  obtrusive  to  attempt  to 
add  lustre  to  gems,  whose  radiance  is  so  pure  and  brilliant. 
But  he  cannot  withhold  a  simple  note  of  admiration  from  the 
subjoined  extract,  displaying  so  beautifully  the  exquisite  taste 
and  heavenly  tendencies  of  the  writer's  mind : — 

"30^7^  —  There  are  sometimes  feelings  in  my  heart  that 
words  cannot  express,  and  I  attempt  not  to  record  them  here. 
A  stalk  of  the  lily  of  the  valley  has  excited  a  longing  after 
purity,  and  the  world  of  never-fading  flowers,  that  has  made 
my  heart  ache ;  and  I  have  gazed  upon  the  blue  skies,  the 
bright  stars,  and  the  beautiful  moon,  and  felt  that  my  home 
is  not  here,  —  no,  it  is  not  here  .^  I  trust  that  through  the 
merits  of  my  Redeemer's  blood,  I  shall  unite  with  the  re- 
deemed in  heaven,  in  unceasing  praises.  There  shall  be 
'every  longing  satisfied,  with  full  salvation  blest,' — and  there 
only  !     Oh,  I  feel  this  ! 

"  I  am  very  happy.  My  mother  is  so  kind  and  lovely. 
Her  smile  gladdens  my  heart.  My  friends  are  kind.  I  love 
the  green  fields,  and  waving  woods,  and  the  singing  of  birds, 
but  when  I  think  of  heaven  — 

*  I  want,  oh  !  I  want  to  be  there, 

To  put  on  the  white  robes  of  the  Lamb.' 


1838.]  AFFECTING    DEATH.  233 

For  my  heart  is  still  prone  to  evil,  and  I  cannot  be  perfectly 
happy  until  I  am  perfectly  holy. 

"23t:?,  Sunday  evening.  —  I  have  heard,  this  evening,  some 
news  that  has  made  my  heart  sick ;  the  sudden  death  of  a 
young  lady  who  was  some  time  since  under  serious  impres- 
sions, but  who  had  apparently  lost  them,  and  became  more 
thoughtless  than  ever.  I  have  never  heard  of  any  change  in 
her  sentiments, —  I  am  afraid  I  shall  not.  Oh,  what  a  call  is 
this  to  faithfulness  !  This  young  lady  expressed  great  inte- 
rest in  me,  some  time  since,  and  I  made  a  few  efforts  for  her 
good. 

"  2Qth.  —  We  have  had  a  very  happy  Christmas.  I  do  not 
believe  a  more  happy  family  group  could  have  been  found. 
Kind  wishes  and  gifts  were  exchanged,  and  then,  with  thank- 
ful hearts  we  went  to  the  sanctuary." 


20* 


CHAPTER  XI. 

1839. 

Commencement  of  the  New  Year  —  Christian  Intercourse  —  Efforts 
blessed  —  Mr.  L.'s  last  Moments  —  Visit  to  Princeton  —  Anticipa- 
tions of  Heaven  —  Last  Letter  to  her  Mother  —  Happiness  in  her 
Family  —  Her  Mother's  Illness  and  Death  —  Narrative  in  Miss  Alli- 
bone's  Diary  —  Letters  to  her  Sister  and  Cousin  —  Correspondence 
■with  Rev.  J.  A.  Clark  —  Conflagration — Visit  from  J.  J.  Gurney. 

"  The  hour  of  twelve  has  struck,  and  a  new  year  with  all 
its  responsibilities  has  come.  Lord,  my  trust  is  in  thee. 
Hitherto  hast  thou  helped  me." 

With  this  consoling  thought  Miss  Allibone  began  1839. 
Little  knew  she  what  the  year,  the  sadly  eventful  year  had 
in  store  for  her.  The  blow,  that  of  all  others  she  would  have 
deprecated,  Avas  to  fall  heavily  upon  her  sensitive  heart  and 
enfeebled  frame.  A  full  cup  of  intense  bitterness  was  to  be 
presented  to  her  lips.  But  how  effectual  a  preparation  for 
unknown,  unthought  of  trials,  her  child-like  unfeigned  faith  ! 
Whatever  the  shape  of  coming  "111,  the  Arm  on  which  she 
leaned  was  mighty  to  sustain,  and  howeA^er  rough  and  pain- 
ful the  path  to  be  trodden,  her  feet  were  shod  with  the  pre- 
paration of  the  Gospel  of  peace. 

"We  had  a  very  solemn  lecture  to-night.  We  were  advised 
to  review  the  past  year, — and  what  a  record  of  unfaithfulness 
docs  it  bring  against  me  !  But  Jesus  is  my  hope.  My  cold 
heart  was  yesterday  morning  drawn  out  in  love  to  souls.  The 
sermon  told  us  of  the  willingness  of  God  to  receive  the  re- 
pentant sinner.  The  text  was,  '  While  he  was  yet  a  great 
way  off,'  &c.     The  Sunday  before,  a  young  man  went  to  Mr. 

(234) 


1839.]  AN    UNEXPECTED    SUMMONS.  235 

C,  and  with  tears  told  him  that  he  wished  to  return  to  God. 
0  that  in  countless  numbers  they  may  come  !" 

To  J.  II.  S. 

"  January  9th,  1839. 
"  My  Dear  Cousin  :  —  In  one  respect,  the  contents  of  your  letter 
were  not  gratifying.     You  tell  me  you  have  not  yet  submitted  your 
affections  to  the  Saviour,  though  you  have  been  from  childhood  in- 
structed in  the  principles  of  Christianity,  and  are  conscious  that  the 
disciple  of  Christ  alone  is  truly  happy.    How  is  this,  my  dear  cousin  ? 
Do  you  forget  that  delay  may  be  fatal — that  if  this  important  matter 
be  postponed,  the  decision  may  be  pronounced,   '  He  that  is  unjust, 
let  him  be  unjust  still.'     I  think  I  have  never  realized  the  danger 
of  postponement  so  fully,  as  since  the  recent  and  sudden  death  of  a 
young  friend  of  mine,  who  at  this  time  last  year  was  the  subject  of 
very  serious    impressions.      She    eagerly  perused    religious  books, 
visited  her  pastor,  and  took  a  class  in  the  Sunday  School,  but  her 
heart  sdll  clung  to  the  world,  and  she  was  only  'almost  persuaded  to 
be  a  Chri-stian.'     Recently,  she  has  seemed  less  serious,  and  carefully 
avoided  religious  conversation.     She  was  taken  ill  on  Tuesday  eve- 
ning, and  died  the  following  Sunday.     No  danger  was  apprehended 
till  Sunday  morning,  and  her  pastor  was  then  sent  for  to  inform  her 
as  carefully  as  possible  of  her  situation.      He  came  to  do  so,  but  she 
was  dying,  and  went  into  eternity  so  suddenly  that  her  friends  were 
almost  stunned  by  the  unexpected  blow.     If  she  had  told  them  that 
she  was  going  to  a  heavenly  home  they  would  have  been  comforted, 
but  she  said  nothing  of  the  future.     We  know  not  what  may  have 
passed  between  her  soul  and  her  Maker  in  the  hour  of  death,  but 
this  we  know,   'The  time  is  short.'      Come,  then,  my  dear  cousin,  to 
the  Throne  of  Grace,  and  earnestly  pray  for  the  pardon  of  sin  and 
the  renewing  influences  of  the  Holy  Spirit.      Wait  not  until  you  feel 
more  deeply,  but  come  just  as  you  are.     Let  your  prayer  be,   '  God 
be  merciful  to  me  a  sinner'  — '  I  will  not  let  Thee  go  except  Thou 
bless  me.' 

"'The  kingdom  of  heaven  suScreth  violence.'  Remember  that 
Christ  died  for  you,  and  plead  the  merits  of  His  blood.  I  hope  you 
spend  much  time  in  prayer,  and  in  the  study  of  the  Scriptures.  You 
will  take  increasing  delight  in  these  employments,  and  will  be  richly 
repaid  fur  any  sacrifice  they  may  cost  you.  I  speak  from  experience. 
No  society  is  welcome  which  would  deprive  me  of  such  seasons  of 


236  HABITUAL    READINESS.  [1839. 

communion  with  my  Father  in  Heaven  ;  and  in  the  prayerful  study 
of  His  blessed  AYord  my  mind  is  filled  with  ligLt  and  peace.  Give 
my  love  to  Robert,  and  tell  him  I  pray  every  day  that  God  will  bless 
my  orphan  cousins.  I  hope  they  will  first  give  themselves  to  His 
service,  and  then  strive  to  do  something  for  His  cause.  Oh  that  you 
may  become  faithful  soldiers  of  the  cross  ! 

"Did  you  ever  read  Henry  Martyn's  Life?  If  you  have  not,  I 
would  recommend  it.     It  is  one  of  my  favorite  books." 

"  31s^.  —  This  has  been  a  most  delightful  evening.  It  was 
my  privilege  to  attend  our  lecture,  and  I  would  not  have  ex- 
changed the  feelings  I  had  then  for  all  the  worldly  pleasures 
which  have  ever  been  enjoyed. 

"  For  one  of  my  friends  I  greatly  desire  more  spiritual 
blessings.  Heavenly  Father,  I  bring  him  to  Thee  in  the 
name  of  Jesus. 

^'■Feh.  5th.  —  I  am  just  strong  enough  to  write  a  few  lines 
this  evening.  Since  Saturday  evening  I  have  been  quite 
sick.  Spent  Sunday  less  profitably  than  I  wished, — had  a 
chill,  fever  and  headache,  and  my  thoughts  wandered.  Sick- 
ness is  not  the  time  to  settle  our  accounts  for  eternity.  I 
trust  that  work  for  me  is  done.  I  have  entered  into  covenant 
with  the  Lord,  and  hope  that  when  the  hour  of  death  shall 
come,  whether  it  be  preceded  by  any  peculiar  warning,  or  it 
be  a  sudden  summons  into  the  eternal  world,  I  shall  be  enabled 
to  '  look  unto  Jesus,  the  Author ^and  Finisher  of  my  faith.' 
I  know  that  were  I,  in  that  solemn  hour,  to  review  my  past 
life, — the  record  of  my  many  sins  and  omissions  of  duty, — I 
should  be  utterly  overwhelmed,  could  I  not  look  away  from 
this  sad  picture  to  '  the  Lamb  of  God  that  taketh  away  the 
sins  of  the  world.'  Dear  Saviour,  wilt  Thou  be  with  me  in 
the  hour  of  death  ! 

'■'■  3Iarch  10th. —  Christian  intercourse  is  certainly  one  of 
the  most  exalted  sources  of  happiness,  and  this  it  has  been 
my  privilege  to  enjoy  during  a  few  days  past,  more  than  for 
a  long  time.     It  has  been  my  happiness  to  listen  to  the  coun- 


1839.]  CONFIRMATION.  28T 

sel  of  an  aged  and  experienced  Christian,* — one  who  unites 
the  greatest  urbanity  with  devoted  spirituality.  His  prayers 
are  simple  and  fervent, — his  conversation  breathes  the  spirit 
of  devotion,  and  the  love  of  Christ.  How  my  heart  warmed 
as  I  listened  to  his  remarks  !  And  it  was  cheered,  for  I  am 
often  disappointed  when  I  look  for  Christian  counsel  and  en- 
couragement from  the  ministers  of  Christ.  It  is  so  delightful 
to  see  the  image  of  Christ  reflected  in  the  example  of  His 
servants  ;  and  how  should  the  hope  of  dwelling  together  with 
the  Saviour  gladden  our  hearts  !  In  Ilim  is  no  shadow  of 
turning.  He  is  holy,  harmless  and  undefiled.  May  the  joy 
of  the  Lord  be  my  strength  ! 

"19^7i.  —  Last  Sunday  was  a  day  of  unusual  interest. 
After  a  most  impressive  and  interesting  sermon  from  the 
Bishop,  from  the  text,  'What  shall  a  man  give  in  exchange 
for  his  soul  ?'  and  a  very  solemn  charge  to  the  candidates  for 
confirmation,  forty-one  persons  drew  near  the  chancel  and 
vowed  a  vow  unto  the  Lord.  0  that  they  may  have  grace 
given  them  to  keep  it  forever  ! 

"  My  heart  was  full  of  love,  and  praise,  and  prayer.  I 
remembered  the  blessed  hour  when  I  publicly  entered  into 
covenant  with  God  in  the  renewal  of  my  baptismal  vows. 
And  when  the  same  hymn  was  sung,  '  Witness  ye  men  and 
angels  now,'  I  felt  that  the  Lord  had  hitherto  helped  me,  and 
I  would  again  consecrate  myself  to  His  service. 

'■'■April  dth. — Yesterday  was  a  day  of  much  interest.  Mrs. 
T.  called  to  see  me  in  the  morning,  and  appears  to  be  in  the 
most  interesting  state  of  mind.  She  says  she  believes  the 
Lord  directed  my  footsteps  towards  her  dwelling ;  and  so  He 
did,  and  to  Him  be  all  the  glory.  And  may  this  instance  of 
His  willingness  to  bless  the  h\imble  efforts  of  His  children, 
reprove  my  want  of  zeal." 

*  The  late  Dr.  Miller,  of  Princeton. 


238  A    HOPEFUL    DEATH-BED.  [1839. 

Letter  to  a  Friend  about  to  le  Baptized. 

"March,  1839. 
*  *  *  "But  my  purpose  in  writing  tbis  evening  is  to  assure 
thee  that  I  very  cheerfully  accept  the  office  thee  assigns  me,  and 
shall  earnestly  pray  for  grace  to  realize  and  discharge  its  responsi- 
bilities. It  is  one  which  I  have  several  times  assumed,  and  in  so 
doing  I  feel  that  I  solemnly  confirm  the  vows  which  I  made  unto 
the  Lord  whfen  I  first  presented  myself  at  His  altar ;  and  that,  dear 
E.,  was  a  blessed  hour.  With  a  weak  faith  and  sinful  heart  I 
entered  into  covenant  with  the  Lord,  but  He  was  '  all  my  salvation 
and  all  my  desire.'  I  remembered  that  'who  in  the  strength  of 
Jesus  trusts  is  more  than  conqueror,'  and  now,  in  the  anticipation  of 
future  temptation  and  trial,  with  confidence  can  I  urge  the  plea, 
'Thou  hast  been  my  help;  leave  me  not,  neither  forsake  me,  thou 
God  of  my  salvation.'  And  if  He  had  not  been  my  help,  where 
would  have  been  my  safety  ?  Oh  that  I  did  more  deeply  feel  my 
utter  inability  to  speak,  or  do,  or  think  any  thing  acceptable  to  God 
in  my  own  strength." 

"29^^.  —  I  have  deferred  writing  in  this  book  from  con- 
scientious feeling,  for  my  time  has  ben  greatly  engrossed.  I 
have  much  desired  to  make  some  record  of  Mr.  L.'s  last  mo- 
ments, but  I  trust  the  solemn  scene  is  so  deeply  impressed 
upon  my  heart  that  I  shall  never  forget  it.  With  the  excep- 
tion of  little  Charlie's  death,  I  have  never  before  witnessed 
the  departure  of  the  soul.  I  cannot  describe  the  feelings 
with  which  sister  S.  and  I  watohed  beside  his  dying  bed.  We 
felt  grateful  to  the  Lord  for  His  goodness  in  having  given  to 
our  friend  the  hopes  of  the  Gospel.  Ilis  last  message  to  his 
wife  was,  '  Tell  her  I  die  in  hope, — in  the  hope  of  Jesus  and 
of  heaven.'  His  parting  words  to  us  were,  '  You,  under  God, 
have  been  the  means  of  my  conversion.'  I  hope  this  lesson 
will  be  a  blessing  to  us  all.  I  came  to  Princeton,  on  Satur- 
day week,  with  Mr.  H. 

"  Sunday,  3Iay  8tJi,  was  a  day  of  blessings  from  the  Lord. 
We  were  permitted  to  receive  the  emblems  of  our  Saviour's 
dying  love,  and  truly  was  this  ordinance  a  means  of  grace  to 
my  soul.  In  it  I  was  permitted  to  hold  communion  with  my 
Heavenly  Father.     How  mistaken  are  those  Avho  regard  it 


1839.]  DECLINING    STRENGTH.  239 

as  a  mere  form  !  0  that  they  would  prayerfully  consider 
this  ! 

"  How  refreshing  is  the  society  of  Christians  !    Have  been 

spending  the  day  with ,  and  we  have  talked  much  of 

heavenly  things.  Oh !  how  delightful  it  will  be  to  go  to 
heaven  !  The  Saviour  is  to  me  '  the  chief  among  ten  thou- 
sand.' I  love  to  think  of  Him  as  the  Bishop  and  Shepherd 
of  my  soul.     0  that  I  may  depend  alone  upon  Him  ! 

"22c?. — Yesterday  afternoon  went  to  see  M.  Found  her 
greatly  changed.  Seems  comforted, — says  she  can  trust  the 
Saviour,  but  has  not  the  bright  evidence  I  should  like  to  see. 
However,  this  cannot  be  expected.  If  she  should  be  just 
saved  it  will  be  a  proof  of  the  wonderful  mercy  of  God,  for 
she  did  not  seek  Him  in  health.  She  died  on  Sunday  morn- 
ing.    There  is  hope  in  her  death. 

"  Have  received  such  sweet  letters  from  home.  I  do  not 
deserve  such  kindness,  and  I  hope  its  effect  will  be  to  make 

me  more  humble.     Sister says  she  feels  sorrowful  about 

my  health.  It  is  certainly  declining,  and  yet  it  has  been  so 
fluctuating  that  we  cannot  tell  how  much  longer  I  may  live. 
It  is  most  probable,  however,  that  the  day  of  my  probation 
will  soon  be  ended.  If  the  Lord  will  sustain  me  to  the  end, — 
if  He  will  enable  me  to  trust  and  glorify  Him  until  my  last 
moments,  and  when  I  am  standing  upon  the  borders  of  the 
eternal  world,  if  He  will  then  receive  me  into  His  kingdom 
for  Christ's  sake,  how  thankful,  how  happy  I  shall  be  !  and 
how  thankful  and  happy  should  be  those  kind  friends  who 
have  watched  over  me  so  long  !  I  wish  to  tell  them,  in  my 
last  moments,  how  much  their  love  has  increased  my  happi- 
ness.    0  that  my  death  may  increase  their  love  and  spiritual 

joy  I 

To  her  Sister   S. 

"Princeton,  May,  1839. 
*      *     *     "The  society  of  persons  who  combine  spiritual,  social 
and  intellectual  attractions  is  a  great  privilege.     How  exalted  will 


240  LETTER    TO    A    SISTER.  [1839. 

be  our  enjoyment  when  we  shall  come  to  Mount  Zion,  the  Chris- 
tian's holy  and  happy  home,  and  in  the  society  of  '  the  just  made 
perfect'  surround  the  Throne  of  God  and  the  Lamb,  Here,  with 
much  'joy  do  we  draw  water  from  the  wells  of  salvation;'  there, 
shall  we  behold  the  '  pure  river  of  the  water  of  life.'  It  is  but  a 
foretaste  of  heavenly  bliss  that  is  vouchsafed  us  in  this  lower  world, 
but  is  it  not  enough  to  fill  our  souls  with  an  earnest  longing  for  '  the 
inheritance  of  the  saints  in  light  ?'  When  in  the  services  of  the 
sanctuary  our  hearts  are  warmed  with  holy  fervor,  how  pleasant  the 
thought  of  these  courts  above,  '  where  congregations  ne'er  break  up, 
and  Sabbaths  have  no  end !'  And  when,  in  commemorating  the 
dying  love  of  our  Redeemer,  we  feel  that  we  are  indeed  entering 
the  holy  of  holies  by  'a  new  and  living  way,'  we  rejoice  that  the 
time  will  come  when  we  shall  not  have  to  return  to  the  chilling 
atmosphere  of  earthly  influences,  but  forever  dwell  upon  the  wonders 
of  redeeming  love.  And  this  is  a  holy  calm  which  comes  over  the 
spirit,  a  blessed  resting  of  the  soul  upon  the  promises  and  protection 
of  the  Almighty,  which  seems  to  be  the  'sure  pledge  of  heavenly 
rest.'  '  Happy  is  he  who  hath  the  God  of  Jacob  for  his  help.'  Such 
are  the  blessings  bestowed  upon  the  believer ;  and  yet,  my  dear  sis- 
ter, I  would  not  have  you  to  think  that  such  is  my  invariable  expe- 
rience. It  is  not  so.  Although  I  can  tell  you  more  of  the  Lord's 
goodness,  much  could  I  say  of  my  own  sinfulness,  of  ingratitude,  of 
neglect,  of  selfishness  and  insensibility.  Often,  in  the  midst  of  the 
holiest  services,  do  my  thoughts  wander  far  from  God,  and  much  in 
my  feelings  and  conduct  is  opposed  to  the  precepts  of  the  gospel. 
Among  the  most  blessed  thoughts  of  heaven  is  the  expectation  of  an 
eternal  deliverance  from  sin."     .  ^  . 

"  It  is  a  privilege  to  be  with  Dr.  M.  I  should  be  glad  to 
have  him  talk  and  pray  with  me,  but  it  is  to  the  heavenly 
world  I  must  look  for  full  communion  with  the  people  of  God. 
And  shall  I  hope  for  admittance  to  the  society  of  the  re- 
deemed ?  Shall  I,  so  cold,  so  selfish,  so  ungrateful,  dwell 
forever  in  the  presence  of  the  Most  High  ?  Oh  !  yes,  for  my 
dear  Saviour's  sake.  Where  else  would  be  my  dwelling- 
place  ?  I  know  that  I  deserve  to  be  excluded  from  heaven, 
but  I  have  long  since  come  unto  God  through  Jesus,  and  He 
is  able  to  save  me  to  the  uttermost,  and  I  believe  He  will. 


1839.]  LAST    LETTER    TO    HER    MOTHER.  241 

'Jesus,  on  Thy  vrord  relying, 

Firm  my  faith  and  hope  shall  be  ; 
On  Thy  faithfulness  depending, 
I  will  cast  my  soul  on  Thee.' 

Not  all  the  treasures  of  earth  could  satisfy  my  soul, —  nothing 
but  the  light  of  Thy  countenance,  oh !  Father,  can  irradiate 
my  mind,  for  without  Thy  blessing  all  is  dark  and  comfort- 
less. Thou  knowest  that  I  love  Thee,  and  yet  I  grieve  Thy 
Holy  Spirit  again  and  again.  Oh,  give  me  more  grace ! 
Teach  me  to  cherish  every  holy  influence,  —  teach  me  to 
wait  upon  Thee  all  the  day, —  lead  me  in  the  way  in  which  I 
should  go, —  make  me  humble. 

'  Let  Thy  good  Spirit  ne'er  depart, 
Nor  hide  Thy  presence  from  my  heart.'  " 

Little  did  Miss  Allibone  imagine,  as  she  penned  the  follow- 
ing letter,  that  it  would  be  the  last  which  she  should  address 
to  her  dear  and  venerated  parent : 

To  her  Mother. 

"  '  My  heart  untrammelled  fondly  turns  to  thee,'  my  dearest 
mother,  for  I  left  thee  with  increased  affection,  with  a  heart  quite 
full  of  love,  and  I  am  sure  I  am  not  forgotten.  I  am  obliged  to 
write  a  short  letter,  but  am  in  haste  to  send  you  all  a  message  of 
remembrance.  I  never  can  be  thankful  enough  for  such  a  family 
as  my  Heavenly  Father  has  given  me.  To  thee  first,  my  precious 
mother,  and  then  to  one  and  all,  I  send  my  heartfelt  thanks  for  your 
unmerited  and  exceeding  kindness.  I  have  not  time  for  especial 
messages.  I  have  you  all  in  my  heart,  and  I  trust  we  shall  all  be 
together  in  heaven.  This  shall  be  my  prayer  in  my  hours  of  retire- 
ment, when  I  remember  the  happiness  we  now  enjoy,  the  common 
hope  we  have,  the  many  blessings  we  need — and  the  blessed  Redeemer, 
who  stands  at  the  right  hand  of  the  Father,  to  make  intercession  for 
us  all." 

The  warm  emotions  of  thankfulness  to  her  Father  in  heaven 
for  the  domestic  blessings  she  enjoyed,  and  the  delight  which 
she  found  in  her  own  home-circle,  are  thus  expressed  in  an- 
other letter  written  about  the  same  time ; 
Q  21 


242  HER  mother's  death.  [1839. 

''■'I  do  not  suppose  there  ever  has  been  a  more  happy  fixmily. 
Surely,  never  has  a  child  and  a  sister  received  more  unvaried  kind- 
ness. How  much  more  happy  shall  we  be,  if  permitted  to  assemble 
round  the  throne  of  God !  I  hope  it  will  be  our  privilege  to  meet 
there  all  who  are  dear  to  us."     *     *     * 

Upon  this  happy  and  united  family  group,  an  inroad  was 
now  to  be  made  by  the  great  spoiler,  Death.  Or,  rather, 
'the  God  of  the  spirits  of  all  flesh,'  in  His  wisdom  and  love, 
saw  fit  to  darken  their  dwelling,  and  render  it  a  house  of 
mourning.  Had  it  been  announced  that  one  of  the  house- 
hold was  now  to  be  removed  from  earthly  scenes,  the  thought 
would  have  arisen  in  every  mind  that  the  pallid  and  suffering 
invalid  of  the  family,  for  years  the  object  of  their  sympathy 
and  cares,  would  exchange  her  '  light  afllictions'  for  '  a  far  more 
exceeding  and  eternal  weight  of  glory.'  And  to  no  one  would 
the  idea  have  suggested  itself  more  readily  than  to  herself, 
waiting,  as  she  daily  was,  in  faith,  for  her  summons.  But 
here,  as  in  so  many  instances,  human  calculations  were  set  at 
naught.  The  Lord  saw  good  to  strengthen  the  feeble  ties 
that  held  the  daughter  to  earth,  while  the  mother,  in  the 
midst  of  health  and  activity,  was  suddenly  removed.  It  was 
an  unexpected,  stunning  dispensation,  and  by  none  felt  more 
keenly  than  by  her  whose  often-infirmities  had  made  parental 
tenderness  exceedingly  precious.  This  event  took  place 
July  15th,  1839.  Miss  Allibone  returned  from  Princeton  in 
time  to  be  with  her  mother  during  the  few  days  of  her  illness, 
to  her  parent's  great  comfort,  and  her  own  inexpressible 
satisfaction.  She  was  enabled,  a  few  weeks  after  the  first 
shock,  to  place  in  her  Diary  the  following  particular  and 
most  aifecting  sketch  of  her  mother's  last  illness.  The  min- 
gled feelings  of  the  frail,  affectionate  child,  clinging  to  the 
earthly  parent,  whom  for  years  she  had  not  expected  to  sur- 
vive, and  of  the  submissive  disciple,  meekly  bowing  to  her 
Father's  will,  and  looking  upward  in  the  confidence  of  faith, 


1839.]  RETURN    FROM    PRINCETON.  243 

are,  in  this  utterance  of  a  bruised  heart,  very  touchingly  and 
beautifully  depicted : 

'■'•Temora^  Aug.  17.  —  A  long  time  has  passed  since  I  have 
written  in  my  Diary,  and  I  know  not  how  to  make  a  record 
of  the  events  which  have  occurred.  How  shall  I  write  that 
my  mother,  who  was  more  to  me  than  all  my  earthly  friends 
and  earthly  blessings  —  that  mother,  for  whom,  late  at  night 
and  early  in  the  morning,  I  thanked  my  Heavenly  Father, 
has  gone  away,  and  .left  me  an  07-plian.  Oh  !  can  this  be  so  ? 
Yes,  it  is  even  so  !  Daily  do  I  feel  more  and  more  that  it  is 
so.  In  my  dreams  I  am  with  my  mother, — I  hear  her  speak, 
and  look  upon  her,  but  in  the  morning  I  awake,  and  do  not, 
as  once  I  did,  feel  her  kind  arm  around  me. 

"  Oh,  that  first  night  after  she  left  us,  when  I  retired  to 
my  solitary  room,  (for  I  wished  to  be  alone,)  how  desolate 
was  my  heart !  And  when  I  awoke,  the  sad  reflection,  '  I  am 
an  orphan  !'  overwhelmed  my  soul ;  but  just  then  I  opened 
my  little  Book  of  Promises,  and  found  there  the  precious 
assurance,  '  I  will  not  leave  you  comfortless,  I  will  come  unto 
you.'  In  it  I  heard  the  Saviour's  voice,  and  I  was  comforted, 
and  did  trust  in  Him,  and  He  has  fulfilled  His  promise ;  He 
has  been  with  me.     But  I  must  revert  to  the  past. 

"  The  Saturday  evening  before  I  left  Princeton,  I  went  to 
D.,  and  in  the  evening  had  a  solemn  season  of  prayer  with 

.     In  it  I  felt  constrained  to  pray  much  for  my  dear 

mother,  and  to  ask  that  grace  might  be  given  her  for  a  dying 
hour,  and  that  she  might  then  be  surrounded  by  her  children. 
I  had  then  reason  to  believe  her  in  perfect  health,  and  I  was 
startled  by  the  prayer  I  was  constrained  to  offer,  and  the 
strange  feelings  which  came  over  me,  I  was  also  much 
drawn,  during  the  last  few  months,  to  pray  that  God  would 
give  me  grace  to  endure  affliction,  if  He  should  see  fit  to  send 
it,  and  that  He  would  enable  me  to  glorify  Him  by  submis- 
sion to  His  will.     Sometimes  I  felt,  while  praying  in  this 


244  HER  mother's  illness.  p.839. 

way,  that  It  was  most  probable  that  I  would  be  the  first  of 
the  family  to  die,  and  that  I  should  be  spared  affliction.  This 
has  for  a  long  time  been  a  great  comfort  to  me. 

"  Sunday,  the  last  day  I  spent  in  P.,  was  one  of  unusual 
refreshing.  The  Communion  was  peculiarly  solemn  and 
delightful,  and  though  nothing  but  the  desire  to  be  submis- 
sive to  the  Lord's  will  had  made  me  willing  to  stay  so  long 
away  from  home,  I  felt  greatly  comforted  by  the  services  of  that 
day.  I  shall  often  think  of  that  last  night  of  prosperity, — 
another  I  can  never  know,  for  my  mother  is  gone.  On 
Monday  I  returned  home,  to  that  home  in  which  a  joyous 
welcome  had  always  awaited  me,  and  my  first  question  was, 
'  Where  is  mother  ?'  for  I  never  cared  to  see  any  one  till  I 
had  embraced  her.     Oh,  my  mother,  my  dear  mother ! 

"  I  found  she  had  been  taken  ill  the  night  before,  but  was 
then  much  better.  She  welcomed  me  with  tears  of  joy,  but 
I  did  not  dare  to  give  way  to  my  feelings,  as  she  had  much 
fever.  I  left  her  to  try  to  eat  some  dinner,  but  my  heart 
was  full.  When  I  returned,  her  eyes  filled  again  and  again, 
and  I  was  obliged  to  leave  the  room.  That  night,  she  wished, 
as  usual,  to  have  family  prayer  in  her  room,  and  this  was  the 
last  time  that  we  all  united  in  this  service  in  which  we  have 
so  much  delighted,  until  the  night  we  gathered  around  her 
dying  bed,  and  again  mingled  6«r  supplications.  Her  mind 
was  in  a  calm  and  happy  state.  She  expressed  to  Sister  S., 
confidentially,  that  this  would  be  her  last  sickness,  and  said 
that  though  she  was  happy  in  living  with  her  children,  it 
would  be  more  happy  to  die  and  go  to  heaven.  She  prayed, 
'Dear  Saviour,  admit  me  to  heaven  when  I  die.' 

"From  the  first  we  were  alarmed,  though  we  scarcely 
realized  that  our  mother,  so  blooming  and  so  beautiful,  could 
die.  The  spirit  of  prayer  was  poured  into  my  soul.  I  was 
much  with  her  during  her  sickness,  and  it  was  a  comfort  to 
put  my  hand  upon  her  forehead,  to  try  to  soothe  her  to  sleep — 
to  minister  to  her  comfort  in  any  way,  though  I  could  not 


1839.]  THE    HOUR    OF    TRIAL.  245 

perform  tlie  more  fatiguing  duties  of  nursing.  She  often 
asked  to  have  passages  of  Scripture  repeated,  and  sometimes 
to  be  prayed  with,  though  her  fever  sometimes  prevented  us 
from  gratifying  this  desire,  and  always  prevented  us  from 
conversing  very  freely  with  her. 

"  When  we  were  convinced  that  she  was  in  danger,  oh ! 
how  great  was  the  agony  of  our  hearts  !  And  Avith  what 
breathless  anxiety  did  we  cluster  together,  as  near  her  room 
as  we  were  allowed  to  be,  to  await  the  result  of  the  Doctor's 
frequent  examination  of  her  symptoms  ;  and  then  I  would  go 
away  to  pray,  often  more  in  groans  of  anguish  than  in  words. 
And  that  night,  when  they  thought  that  forty-eight,  or  per- 
haps twenty-four,  hours  would  decide  her  case,  there  was  a 
struggle,  like  the  rending  asunder  of  soul  and  body,  and  I 
went  up  stairs  to  give  myself  and  my  mother  into  the  hands 
of  God,  and  to  pray  for  grace  to  glorify  His  name.  During 
this  time,  our  mother,  the  subject  of  our  fears,  and  hopes, 
and  prayers,  w"as  calm.  Very  often  it  was  evident  that  she 
was  engaged  in  prayer.  She  several  times  mentioned  the 
passage,  '  By  grace  are  ye  saved,  through  faith,  and  that  not 
of  yourselves,  it  is  the  gift  of  God,'  as  one  which  afforded 
her  peculiar  comfort.  She  spoke  of  the  passage,  '  Pray  with- 
out ceasing, —  in  every  thing  give  thanks,'  as  very  beautiful. 

"  One  day,  when  she  was  suffering  greatly,  I  said  to  her, 
'  Our  Saviour  is  touched  with  the  feeling  of  our  infirmities.' 

"  '  How  wonderful !'  she  replied. 

"  '  What  is  wonderful,  mother  ?' 

"  '  That  He  should  take  up  the  cross,  and  suffer  and  die.' 

"'Yes,'  I  said,  'that  we  might  have  life  through  Him. 
This  is  all  our  hope,  is  it  not  ?' 

"  'Yes,  it  is  all  mine,'  was  her  reply. 

"At  last,  the  time  of  trial  came.  W^e  assembled  at  her 
bedside,  and  listened  to  such  words  of  eloquence,  such  praises 
and  such  praj^ers,  as  we  had  never  heard  before.  Much  of 
this  Sister  S.  has  written,  but  many  precious  words  have  gone 

21  * 


246  THE    FUNERAL.  [1839. 

from  our  remembrance.  My  heart  was  uplifted  in  prayer, 
and  even  in  thanksgiving,  for  I  was  rejoiced  to  hear  her  thus 
speak.  She  said  that  never  had  widowed  mother  been  blessed 
with  children  such  as  hers,  spoke  of  our  love  for  her  and  for 
each  other,  and  said,  'Each  preferring  the  other,'  and  then, 
as  if  reminded  of  the  passage  of  Scripture,  '  In  honor  pre- 
ferring one  another.'     May  this  be  our  motto,  evermore. 

"After  this,  our  hopes  were  rekindled,  as  the  Doctor 
thought  she  might  yet  recover ;  but  at  about  four  or  five,  we 
again  saw  much  to  alarm  us.  At  eight  o'clock  her  spirit  had 
fled  !  Oh,  was  there  ever  such  a  group  around  a  bed  of 
death  !  But,  blessed  be  God,  He  did  not  desert  us  then  ! 
His  presence  was  in  our  midst,  and  although  the  intensity 
of  feeling  was  such  that  I  almost  thought  my  spirit  would 
escape  and  go  with  hers,  I  felt  that  the  Saviour  was  looking 
upon  us  in  infinite  compassion,  —  that  he  would  receive  our 
mother's  soul,  and  then  bind  up  our  broken  hearts.  The 
promises  of  Scripture  came  into  my  mind.  Almighty  grace 
sustained  my  soul. 

"Although  much  of  the  time  unconscious,  there  seemed  to 
be,  in  that  dying  saint,  a  leaning  upon  the  Saviour's  breast. 
When  Sister  S.  repeated,  '  When  I  pass  through  the  valley 
of  the  shadow  of  death  I  Avill  fear  no  evil,  for  Thou  art  with 
me ;'  she  continued,  '  Thy  rod  and  Thy  staff,  they  comfort 
me.'  One  of  her  last  expresssions  was,  '  Be  still,  and  know 
that  I  am  God.' 

"  The  next  day  I  greatly  dreaded  the  scene  through  which 
I  was  to  pass.  I  knew  that  I  could  scarcely  bear  to  witness 
the  funeral  of  a  stranger,  and  how  should  I  feel  to  commit 
my  mother  to  the  dust  ?  I  could  not  bear  to  injure  the  cause 
of  Christ  by  any  appearance  of  rebellion.  I  did  not  wish  to 
disturb  the  solemnity  of  the  scene  by  fainting,  or  any  other 
exhibition  of  feeling,  and  so  I  prayed  and  prayed  that  God 
would  make  perfect  His  strength  in  my  weakness.  And  He 
did,  and  upheld  me  with  his  powerful  arm ;  and  even  when  I 


1839.]  THE    PROMISES     REALIZED.  247 

Stood  by  my  mother's  grave,  the  promise,  '  I  will  never  leave 
thee,  nor  forsake  thee,'  was  applied  with  power  to  my  soul. 
Never  shall  I  forget  the  desolation  of  that  night.  It  was 
always  my  privilege  to  sleep  with  dear  mother,  and  I  was  so 
thankful  to  have  her  dear,  kind  arm  around  me,  that  I  often 
could  not  sleep  for  joy.  No  matter  how  great  my  physical 
suffering  might  be,  I  felt  that,  through  the  Almighty's  aid 
and  my  mother's  love,  I  could  cheerfully  endure  it.  And 
when  I  went  to  my  room  and  remembered  that  her  precious 
form  was  cold  in  death,  my  heart  was  truly  sorrowful. 

"  When  I  awoke  next  morning,  I  was  more  overwhelmed 
than  I  had  been  at  all.  I  opened  my  Book  of  Promises, 
which  I  had  kept  with  me  all  night,  and  read  our  Saviour's 
words,  '  I  will  not  leave  you  comfortless,  I  will  come  unto 
you,'  and  oh,  how  soothing,  how  soul-restoring  I  found  this 
precious  promise ! 

"  Great  is  the  mercy  which  the  Lord  has  vouchsafed  me. 
Did  I  not  turn  my  thoughts  to  prayers,  they  Avould  be  past 
endurance.  Oh  !  how  much  cause  have  we  for  thankfulness  ! 
To  see  one  so  dear  die  in  the  triumph  of  faith  !  To  see  her 
upheld  Avhen  we  could  do  nothing  for  her, — for  we  could  not 
go  with  her  into  the  valley  of  the  shadow  of  death,  — to  know 
that  she  is  happy,  sinless,  redeemed !  This  is  comfort, 
indeed. 

"  And  then  for  ourselves.  We  have  needed  this  affliction, 
and  one  day  we  shall,  I  trust,  thank  our  Heavenly  Father 
for  having  thus  afflicted  us.  And  shall  we  not  trust  Him 
now?  Oh,  yes,  through  His  all-sufficient  grace.  I  have 
often  read,  with  interest  and  with  prayer,  the  promise,  '  Call 
upon  me  in  the  day  of  trouble,  I  will  deliver  thee,  and  thou 
shalt  glorify  me,'  but  never,  until  lately,  have  I  fully  under- 
stood its  import. 

"  Great  has  been  the  kindness  of  our  Christian  friends, 
and  comforting  their  prayers.  May  they  still  be  offered,  and 
the  Lord  be  with  them  in  the  day  of  trouble.     We  went  to 


248  SANCTIFIED     SORROW.  [1839. 

churcli  the  Sunday  after,  great  trial  as  it  was,  for  we  thought 
the  Sanctuary  a  proper  place  for  the  smitten  children  of 
God!" 

How  much  of  truly  Christian  sentiment  in  this  last  sen- 
tence, and  how  different  this  sanctified  sorrow  from  that  self- 
ish grief  that  broods  in  sullen  seclusion  over  its  wounds, 
spurning  the  consolations  of  God.  Blessed  are  they  that 
mourn  like  this  humble,  submissive  disciple,  for  they  shall  be 
comforted.  Her  disinterested  and  unselfish  character  shines 
forth  in  this  dark  and  dismal  day.  She  was  not  so  absorbed- 
with  her  own  heart-rending  bereavement  as  to  have  no  sym- 
pathy for  those  who  felt  the  same  piercing  grief.  She  sought 
to  sustain  and  comfort  them  with  the  consolation  Avherewith 
she  herself  was  comforted  of  God.  And  even  in  the  fresh- 
ness of  her  aflliction,  her  longings  for  the  spiritual  good  of 
others  were  in  no  degree  abated,  nor  her  efforts  to  win  souls 
to  Jesus  intermitted. 

To  the  Rev.  J.  A.  ClarJc. 

"Aug.  G,  1839. 

"  Very  welcome,  my  dear  Pastor,  was  the  prompt  expression  of 
that  sympathy  which  we  knew  you  would  deeply  feel ;  and  it  has 
been  my  wish  for  some  days  past  to  tell  you  how  much  we  value 
your  Christian  consolation  and  counsel ;  but  I  have  been  prevented, 
and  sister  M.  has,  during  this  intei'val,  written  to  you.  She  has 
informed  you  of  many  circumstances  attending  the  event  which  has 
occurred,  and  I  need  not  repeat  the  narration. 

"  You  were  not  mistaken  in  your  trust  that  the  Balm  of  Gilead 
would  be  poured  into  our  wounded  hearts.  Our  Saviour  has  not 
'  left  us  comfortless.'  lie  has  come  to  us,  and  will  yet  be  with  us, 
as  we  pursue  our  sorrowful  pilgrimage.  How  thankful  should  we 
feel  that  we  have  not  to  seek  an  '  unknown  God*  in  this  our  time 
of  trial,  that  we  have  proved  the  Holy  Spirit  to  be  an  efficient  Com- 
forter; and,  oh,  the  love  of  Christ!  I  love  my  Saviour  better  be- 
cause His  blood  has  washed  my  mother's  sins  away,  and  purchased 
for  her  a  title  to  eternal  blessedness.  I  love  Him  because  He  took 
away  the  fear  of  death,  and  was  with  her  in  that  trying  hour  when  we, 
her  sorrowing  children,  could  no  longer  minister  to  her  comfort.    She 


1839.]  LETTERS.  249 

is  now  with  Him  in  Heaven,  and  her  happiness,  to  which  it  was  our 
unceasing  object  to  contribute,  is  now  complete;  and  we  give  her 
up,  not  only  because  it  is  the  Lord's  will  that  we  should  do  so,  but 
because  that  will  is  good  and  wise.  And  yet,  we  cannot,  and  would 
not  forget  the  loss  we  have  sustained.  Oh,  what  shall  we  do  without 
that  bright  smile  and  kiss  of  welcome  we  prized  so  much  ?  Where 
shall  we  go  for  that  forbearance,  gentleness  and  love ;  that  car  so 
ready  to  listen  to  our  joys  and  sorrows,  and  that  counsel  upon  which 
we  have  loved  to  depend?  We  must  go  to  the  Saviour  for  consola- 
tion, for  no  earthly  friend  can  supply  our  loss.  We  always  Jcnew 
that  a  mother's  love  was  precious,  and  we  shall  realize  more  and 
more  that  we  have  lost  a  priceless  treasure. 

"I  thank  you  for  your  faithful  suggestion,  that  we  should  en- 
deavor to  derive  benefit  from  this  dispensation.  How  dreadful  it 
would  be  to  suffer  unsanctified  affliction ;  and  I  trust  you  will  pray 
that  '  more  fruit'  to  the  glory  of  God  may  be  the  result  of  this  trial. 
Pray  that  '  all  sinful  affections  may  die  in  us,'  so  that  we  may  rapidly 
grow  in  grace. 

"  You  express  a  desire  to  know  whether  my  sister,  Mrs.  N.,  and 
myself  were  at  home  during  our  mother's  illness.  Through  the  mer- 
ciful providence  of  our  Heavenly  Father  we  were.  Mr.  N.'s  busi- 
ness arrangements  delayed  their  departure  for  some  time  after  they 
had  expected  to  set  off',  and  I  arrived  at  home  a  week  before  this 
event  occurred.  I  found  the  beloved  parent  I  had  so  impatiently 
desired  to  see,  confined  to  her  room.  The  night  before,  she  had 
been  for  the  first  time  seriously  indisposed.  I  could  not  enjoy  fre- 
quent conversations  with  her,  as  her  fever  was  high ;  but  she  would 
often  fix  her  eyes  upon  me  so  earnestly  and  so  affectionately,  that  I 
would  have  to  turn  away.  I  know  now  that  her  heart  was  sad,  when 
she  thought  of  leaving  me,  her  poor,  helpless  child ;  but  the  same 
trust  which  enabled  her  to  feel  that  *  to  depart  and  to  be  with  Christ 
is  far  better,'  will  sustain  me  while  I  remain  behind  her. 

"  And  now,  I  must  say  farewell.  You  will  not  forget  to  pray 
that  now,  when  'my  flesh  and  my  heart  fail,'  I  may  fully  realize 
that  '  God  is  the  strength  of  my  heart,  and  my  portion  forever." 

To  he}'  Sinter. 

"Temora,  Aug.  8th,  1839. 

"  Your  letter,  my  precious  sister,  was  very  welcome,  and  I  hasten 

to  answer  it  that  you  may  not  be  uneasy  about  me,  for  I  would  not 

add  one  sorroio  more.     To-day  I  feel  much  better,  and  think  that 

country  air  will  prove  beneficial,  and  at  all  events  am  convinced  that 


250  THE    SPIRIT    OF    ADOPTION.  [1839. 

my  sojourn  here  will  be  for  the  best,  painful  as  is  the  sepnration  from 
my  sisters,  always  dear,  but  nmo  still  more  beloved.  Oh  !  how  does 
my  heart  yearn  over  each  one  of  you  !  If  you  were  strmu/crs,  I 
should  pity  you  and  weep  for  you,  for  surely  your  loss  is  great,  and 
desolate  are  your  hearts;  but  as  fellow-.v/ffererx,  I  feel  that  our  rela- 
tionship is  a  sacred  one.  We  have  rejoiced  together  over  the  com- 
mon mercies  of  our  Heavenly  Father.  \Vc  have  united  our  thanks- 
givings when  those  we  truly  love  have  been  gathered  into  the  fold 
of  Christ.  We  have  felt  in  the  service  of  the  sanctuary,  and  when 
kneeling  together  at  the  chancel  to  receive  the  emblems  of  our  dear 
Redeemer's  dying  love,  that  earthly  affection  was  sanctified  by  Chris- 
tian love.  We  have  gathered  around  our  mother  a  most  happy 
family,  and  have  felt  that  in  her  we  possessed  a  priceless  treasure, 
for  we  did  love,  and  we  were  thankful  for  our  only,  our  precious 
parent;  and,  at  last,  we  were  assembled  around  her  dying  bed. 
Then,  we  committed  to  the  silent  dust  that  form  which  was  snatched 
from  our  embrace  in  all  its  beauty  and  its  bloom.  Oh !  what  would 
we  not  have  given  for  one  more  kiss  of  love,  one  word  of  tenderness; 
and  we  turned  from  our  mother's  tomb  with  feelings  such  as  the 
oiyhan  only  knows.  And  where  is  our  resting-place  ?  Not  our  deso- 
late home,  for  that  has  lost  its  charm;  not  the  sympathies  of  our 
kindest  friends,  for  could  we  not  say  to  all  they  would  tell  us,  '  We 
have  lost  our  mother'  ? 

"Are  we  then  to  sit  down  in  hopeless  grief?  Is  ours  the  sorrow 
of  those  who  have  no  knowledge  of  a  Saviour's  love — no  experience 
of  the  wisdom  and  the  kindness  of  the  Almighty?  Is  He  to  us  an 
'  unknown  God  ?'  and  shall  we  ask  Him  why  He  has  thus  dealt  with 
us?  May  He  preserve  us  from  this^greatest  of  afflictions  and  greatest 
of  sins — rebellion  against  His  Holy  Wi]l.  I  would  not  be  so  unwise 
as  to  murmur,  because  He  is  a  God  of  power.  I  would  n(it  be  so 
ungrateful,  for  He  is  a  God  of  love.  We  are  deprived  of  earthly 
parents,  but  are  we  not  all  His  children  by  faith  in  Christ  Jesus  ? 
Do  we  not  trust  that  ours  is  a  spiritual  adoption  ?  Oh  !  for  the  trust- 
ing spirit  of  little  children  !  The  promise  is  <As  one  whom  his 
mother  comforteth,  so  will  I  comfort  you ;'  and  we  will,  my  dear, 
dear  sisters,  not  go  to  weep  in  solitary  places,  a  broken  family,  but 
gather  around  the  mercy-seat  to  receive  '■  grace  to  help  in  time  of 
need.'  Let  us,  with  united  hearts,  pursue  a  heavenly  journey,  and 
then  at  last  we  shall  reach  our  Father's  house,  and  He  will  '  wipe 
away  all  tears  from  our  eyes,'  and  make  us  to  feel  that  '  the  former 
things  are  passed  away.'     And  oh  !  blessed  be  God  !  our  mother  is 


1839.]  THE    ORPHAN.  251 

there;  and  will  she  not  jxladly  welcome  us  to  her  happy  home  !  With 
lier,  we  have  surrounded  the  family  altar.  How  much  better  to  sur- 
round the  throne  of  the  3Iajcsty  on  high  ! 

"  May  we  look  upward  and  onward  !  May  our  unceasing  prayer 
be  '  Lord,  increase  our  faith !'  It  is  better  to  suffer  than  to  sin  ;  and 
it  would  be  a  sad  thing  should  we  grieve  the  Holy  Spirit,  and  bring 
reproach  upon  that  name  by  which  we  have  been  so  long  called,  by 
refusing  to  submit  to  a  dispensation  which  is  intended  to  increase 
our  love  for  heavenly  things.  Our  Heavenly  Father  sees  much  sin 
iu  our  hearts,  too  much  of  self,  and  of  the  world,  and  He  would 
have  us  to  be  earth-weaned,  heavenly-minded.  Let  it  be  our  con- 
stant prayer  that  this  may  be  a  sanctified  affliction ;  and  may  its 
result  be  deep  humility,  ardent  love  and  untiring  devotion  to  the 
duties  which  devolve  upon  us  !     *     *     * 

"  This  is  a  season  of  sorrowful  yet  hallowed  recollections.  It  is  one 
in  which  I  feel  my  need  of  special  prayer.  '  The  Rock  that  is  higher 
than  I'  is  au  unfailing  refuge,  and  I  there  abide."     *     *     * 

To  J.  H.  S. 

'     "Temora,  Bucks  Co.,  Pa.,  Aug.  9th,  1839. 

"  It  has  been  my  custom,  dear  cousin,  when  remembering  you  and 
your  brother  in  my  prayers,  to  ask  our  Heavenly  Father  to  bless 
'  my  orphan  cousins ;'  for  I  knew  that  those  children  who,  in  His 
Providence,  had  been  deprived  of  earthly  parents,  were  the  objects 
of  His  peculiar  care,  and  that  they  must,  on  this  account,  especially 
require  the  guidance  of  His  Holy  Spirit.  But  when  my  sympathies 
have  been  so  enlisted  in  your  behalf,  how  little  did  I  suppose  that 
your  situation  would  be  one  day  mine, — that  my  mother,  so  blooming 
and  so  lovely,  for  whom  my  aifection  was  every  day  growing  stronger, 
would  be  suddenly  called  into  another  world.  It  would  have  been 
less  painful  to  have  given  up  every  other  earthly  friend.  But  though 
she  has  left  her  children,  who  loved  so  well  to  minister  to  her  com- 
fort, she  has  gone  to  the  Saviour  in  whose  presence  is  fullness  of  joy. 
She  delighted  in  communion  with  Him  in  the  hour  of  health,  and 
He  did  not  desert  her  on  the  bed  of  death.  The  promises  of  God, 
which  then  were  dear  to  her  heart,  sustained  her  and  were  still  more 
precious  in  this  time  of  need.  Such  prayers  and  such  praises  I  have 
never  heard. 

"The  nigTit  before  she  was  taken  from  us,  she  wished  us  all  to 
assemble  around  her  bed,  and  commenced  a  prayer  which  was  beauti- 
ful beyond  description, — comiuended  her  children  to  the  care  of  the 


252  LETTER    OF    PERSUASION.  [1839. 

Almighty,  and  expressed  her  lovo  for  us  in  the  most  affecting  terms. 
She  spoke  of  the  willingness  of  our  Heavenl^y  Father  to  answer 
prayer,  and  said,  '  His  promise  is,  Ask,  and  ye  shall  receive.'  She 
spoke  of  the  Saviour  as  the  only  way  of  salvation,  and  said  many 
■would  try  to  climb  up  some  other  way,  but  should  not  be  able.  She 
quoted  the  passage,  'Now  is  the  accepted  time'  (0  that  yow  would 
lay  this  to  your  heart,  my  dear  cousin) ;  and  said  many  things  which 
were  most  solemn  and  impressive. 

"And  what,  do  you  suppose,  were  our  feelings  when  we  saw  our 
mother,  our  dear  mother,  growing  more  faint  and  more  pale,  and 
knew  that  the  hand  of  death  was  on  her?  I  felt  as  though  my  soul 
too  would  take  its  flight  and  go  with  her;  and  yet  there  was  such  a 
sense  of  the  presence  and  the  love  of  God  —  such  a  spirit  of  thank- 
fulness that  He  had  so  sustained  my  mother — that  He  had  redeemed 
her  soul, — that  the  bitterness  of  the  cup  was  taken  away.  The  Com- 
forter was  near,  and  whispered,  Peace  ! 

"And  now  we  are  orphans.  Kind  friends  offer  their  sympathy, 
and  we  receive  it  with  gratitude,  but  it  is  at  a  Throne  of  Grace  alone 
that  we  find  efficient  consolation  ;  and  with  the  ear  of  faith  we  listen 
to  the  promise,  '  I  will  never  leave  thee,  nor  forsake  thee.'  0  that 
you,  my  dear  cousin,  were  adopted  into  the  family  of  the  Most  High  ! 
Will  you  not  become  His  child,  through  faith  in  Jesus?  It  cost  me 
a  painful  effort  to  write  this  letter,  but  I  feel  more  than  ever  con- 
strained to  labor  for  your  salvation.  Oh  let  me  beseech  you  to  delay 
no  longer  to  secure  the  salvation  of  your  soul.  Now,  '  all  things  are 
ready.'  But  we  know  that  it  is  possible  to  grieve  away  the  Spirit — 
to  cause  the  Almighty  to  utter  the  dreadful  sentence,  '  He  is  joined 
to  his  idols,  let  him  alone.'  Shpuld  I  never  again  be  permitted  to 
address  you  upon  this  subject,  remember,  my  dear  cousin,  that  I  have 
faithfully  warned  you  of  your  danger,  and  told  you  of  the  way  of 
escape.  But  I  will  trust  that  you  will  not  refuse  peace  and  safety, 
but  will  at  once  say, 

'  Here,  Lord,  I  give  myself  away, 
'Tis  all  that  I  can  do.' 

Then  you  will  be  accepted  and  saved. 

"  How  deep  an  interest  my  dear  mother  always  felt  in  your  wel- 
fare and  your  brother's!  May  it  be  her  happiness  to  meet  in  heaven 
the  children  of  her  dear  brother.  Tell  Robert  he  must  write  very 
soon,  and  that  although  he  has  no  sisters  to  watch  over  and  love  him, 
he  has  cousins  who  feel  great  interest  in  his  welfare,  and  who  fer- 


1839.]         LETTER    FROM     REV.    DR.    CLARK.  253 

vently  pray  that  lie  may  be  preserved  from  the  temptations  by  which 
he  is  surrounded,  and  become  a  devoted  and  useful  Christiau.  Has 
he  ever  read  Martyn's  Life  ?  I  hope  he  will  be  like  him.  0  that 
you  may  both  become  faithful  soldiers  of  the  Cross ! 

"I  am  now  in  the  country  with  my  sister.  My  friends  insisted 
on  my  leaving  the  city,  as  ray  health  is  increasingly  delicate.  Write 
very  soon,  and  give  me  good  news.  How  you  would  cheer  my  heart 
by  saying,  '  I  have  chosen  the  Lord  as  the  portion  of  my  soul.'  " 

Rev.  J.  A.  Clark  to  Miss  Allihone. 

"Faikfield,  Aug.  12th,  1839. 

"  My  very  dear  Friend  :  —  Your  very  acceptable  letter  came  duly 
to  hand,  for  which  I  thank  you.  It  has  been  very  gratifying  to  me 
to  learn  that  your  dear  departed  parent  left  behind  her  such  clear 
evidence  that  death  was  only  the  angel  of  Cbrist,  wafting  her  disen- 
thralled spirit  into  the  presence  of  God  and  the  Lamb.     *     *     * 

"  I  have  drunk  often  of  the  bitter  cup  of  bereavement.  Five  dear 
children,  one  after  another,  the  Lord  has  plucked  away  from  me. 
Two  dear  sisters,  whose  presence  and  society  spread  a  sunshine  around 
ray  early  days,  and  led  me  fully  to  appreciate  female  character,  faded, 
one  after  the  other,  beneath  the  blight  of  death,  from  my  view.  A 
dear  brother,  who  watched  over  my  preparation  for  the  ministry,  and 
observed  my  first  essays  to  preach  the  Gospel  with  an  interest, 
anxiety  and  solicitude  that  was  utterly  absorbing ;  and  whose  kind, 
loving,  paternal  voice  often  cheered  me  in  the  hour  of  depression  and 
discouragement,  I  have  followed  to  the  grave,  and  parted  from  to 
meet  no  more  till  the  resurrection  morn.  And,  like  you,  I  have 
stood  by  the  dying  bed  of  a  dear,  dear  mother  !  That  scene  I  can 
never  forget.  The  remembrance  of  it  now  brings  up  a  throng  of 
emotions  that  I  can  scarcely  control.  I  know  all  that  you  feel  !  And 
yet  I  know  that  the  very  stroke  which  severs  this  strong  tie  is  full 
of  mercy. 

''  When  I  first  heard  of  the  death  of  your  mother,  my  thoughts 
instantly  reverted  to  her  bereaved  children  j  and  then  I  said,  *  How 
will  they  receive  this  V  The  thought  instantly  occurred  to  me,  '  They 
will  receive  it  as  David  did  a  very  sore  trial,  *'  I  was  dumb  and  opened 
not  my  mouth,  because  Thou,  Lord,  didst  it."  '  I  was  then  led  to 
think  how  very  different  Christians  appeared  from  the  unregenerate, 
under  affliction.  He  who  is  living  'without  God  in  the  world'  is 
inconsolable  under  bereavements,  and  his  mouth  is  filled  with  mur- 
murings  and  complaints.     The  Christian  sits  down  at  the  feet  of 

22 


254  SUBMISSION    TO  GOD.  [1839. 

Jesus  and  is  dumb,  and  openeth  not  his  mouth.  '  He  opens  not  his 
mouth' — he  utters  no  compkiint,  not  only  because  he  feels  that  he 
deserves  chastisement  —  not  only  because  he  knows  that  none  of  the 
children  of  God  are  icithout  chasti's^emcnt  (Heb.  12  :  8)  —  not  only 
because  he  understands  that  it  is  designed  to  confer  upon  him  the 
hialiest  benefits  (Heb.  12  :  10)  ;  but  especially  because  it  comes  from 
God.  '  I  was  dumb  and  opened  not  my  mouth,  because  Thou, 
God,  didst  it.'  Has  God  done  great  things  for  my  soul  ?  Has 
He  given  His  Son  to  die  for  me  ?  Has  He  blotted  out  all  my  sins  ? 
adopted  me  into  His  family  ?  written  my  name  in  the  Book  of  Life  ? 
and  pledged  His  everlasting  Word  to  guide  me  every  step  of  the  way 
to  Heaven,  and  to  guide  me  in  the  very  best  possihle  loai/  ?  And  to 
make  me  entirely  easy  on  this  point,  has  He  written  upon  the  pass- 
port which  he  has  given  me  through  life,  'AH  things  shall  work 
too-ether  for  your  good'  ?  And  now  .^liall  I  complain  at  any  of  His 
dealino;s  1  If  the  tabernacle  I  have  built  is  torn  down, — if  my  plans 
of  earthly  happiness  are  suddenly  overthrown, — if  they,  whose  pre- 
sence cheered  life  and  spread  sunshine  over  my  path,  are  torn  from 
me, — if  friends,  fortune,  health,  and  all  that  renders  life  attractive, 
are  blighted  and  swept  away,  I  might  fill  my  mouth  with  complaints, 
and  eive  vent  to  the  bitterness  of  my  heart  in  words  that  burn,  had 
this  been  done  by  human  or  angelic  power  —  by  accident  or  the 
enemies  of  my  peace.  But  when  I  remember  who  is  on  the  Throne, 
and  whence  afiiiction  comes,  /  am  dumb  and  ojjen  not  my  mouth, 
because  I  see  Thov,  Lord,  didst  it.  I  am  sure  the  more  you  medi- 
tate on  this,  the  more  your  heart  will  rise  up  in  adoring  gratitude, 
and  rejoice  in  the  government  of  God.  How  wonderful  it  is  that 
God  should  regai'd  our  mean  concerns,  and  continually  care  for  us  1 
How  sweet  it  is  to  believe  this,  and  'cast  all  our  care  on  Him  !' 

'<I  hope,  in  about  a  fortnight,  to  start  for  Philadelphia,  and  shall 
be  glad  to  see  you  all.  I  think,  however,  it  is  a  wise  arrangement 
that  you  should  remain  in  the  country  till  the  warm  weather  is  over. 

Should  you  continue  in sometime  after  my  return,  it  will  give 

me  great  pleasure  to  receive  a  letter  from  you.      Mrs.  C.  desires  to 
unite  with  me  in  the  warmest  expressions  of  sympathy  and  regard. 
She  loves  you  tenderly,  and  has  deeply  felt  this  your  affliction. 
"  Your  affectionate  Pastor  and  friend." 

"  Had  a  visit  to-day  from  my  little  friends,  the  two  K.'s. 
They  wept  much  when  I  talked  and  prayed  with  them,  and  I 
feel  a  hope  that  they  will  become  the  children  of  God.     I 


1839.]  A    CONFLAGRATION.  255 

■wish  to  know  the  path  of  duty  about  returning  home.  I 
prefer  going,  but  woukl  rather  be  guided, — and  I  shall  be,  I 
am  sure,  for  I  believe  the  promise,  '  In  all  thy  ways  acknow- 
ledge Him,  and  He  shall  direct  thy  paths.' 

"  Oct.  2d.  —  Some  blessed  thoughts  of  Heaven  have  re- 
freshed my  soul.  I  have  been  thinking  of  God,  '  the  Maker 
of  all  things,  the  Judge  of  all  men,'  as  my  reconciled  Father 
in  Christ  Jesus,  as  '  the  Father  of  the  fatherless,  in  His  holy 
habitation," — of  Jesus,  'the  Man  of  sorrows,'  'who  went 
about  doing  good,' — of  Jesus  as  a  crucified  Redeemer, —  of 
His  resurrection,  His  ascension,  and  of  the  love  He  bears 
His  people,  even  now,  upon  His  throne  of  glory.  I  have  been 
thinking  upon  Him  as  my  mother's  Friend,  as  my  Saviour, 
the  Rock  of  my  refuge. 

"  5^/i.  —  Last  night  was  one  of  fearful  interest.  Late  in 
the  evening  a  fire  commenced,  which  continued  until  morn- 
ing and  made  sad  ravages.  We  had  reason  to  suppose  that 
our  dear  brothers  had  lost,  perhaps,  almost  all  their  earthly 
goods,  but  we  knew  that  they  had  treasure  laid  up  in  Heaven, 
and  were  not  afraid,  though  we  felt  constrained  to  pray  most 
earnestly  that  they  might  not  be  injured  ;  and  every  ring  at 
the  door  startled  us,  for  we  feared  they  would  be  brought 
home  senseless,  perhaps  killed  —  but  even  this  we  could  cast 
upon  God.  Oh,  what  a  comfort  it  is  to  have  a  Heavenly 
Father  to  go  to  ! 

"  Before  I  left  Temora,  my  hand  was  severely  bitten  by 
the  dog.  I  very  foolishly  put  my  hand  into  his  box  to  stroke 
his  head,  and  he  caught  my  hand  with  so  much  violence,  that 
had  I  not  pulled  it  out  instantly,  it  would,  most  probably, 
have  been  bitten  through,  and  my  hand  would  perhaps  have 
been  lost.  How  thankful  I  should  be  for  this  escape  !  I  can 
see  in  one  instance  a  good  result  from  this  bite, —  a  talk  with 

Dr. ,  and  an  opportunity  of  giving  him  '  Wilberforce's 

Practical  View.' 

"  How  sorrowful  was  our  return  to  our  once  happy  home, 


256  DIARY.  [1839. 

and  how  different  from  the  greetings  we  had  always  received  ! 
Not  even  at  first  did  I  so  fully  realize  the  loss  we  have  sus- 
tained. I  felt  that  to  faint  would  bo  a  relief,  and  I  did 
almost,  if  not  quite,  lose  my  recollection.  I  perhaps  might 
have  prayed  more  that  I  might  not  be  so  overwhelmed,  but 
there  was  not  one  feeling  of  murmuring. 

"  Had,  during  a  few  days,  much  intercourse  with  Mr.  H. 
He  said  to  me,  one  day,  when  speaking  of  the  probability  of 
his  death,  '  I  candidly  repent  of  every  sin  I  have  ever  com- 
mitted. My  only  trust  is  in  the  blood  of  Christ.  I  lie  at  the 
foot  of  the  Cross.'  He  has  since  departed  in  the  triumph  of 
faith. 

"  To-morrow  will  be  our  Communion  Sunday.  I  trust  that 
my  heart  will  be  prepared  for  this  blessed  ordinance,  whether 
or  not  I  bo  permitted  to  partake  of  it. 

'■'■Oct.  20th.  —  Have  been  unable  to  go  to  church  to-day, 
but  have  received  more  spiritual  strength  than  usual.  Have 
had  dear  little  H.  with  me  much  of  the  day,  and  have  tried 
to  lead  her  to  Jesus.  Great  is  my  responsibility  towards 
these  dear  children.  The  office  of  a  sponsor  is  no  light 
charo-e,  and  for  it  I  must  give  account.  How  many  are  my 
sins  of  omission ! 

'  The  blood  of  Christ,  that  crimson  sea, 
Shall  wash  my  lo«,d  of  sin  away.' 

Oh,  how  sorrowful  I  feel !  Would  not  my  heart  have  broken, 
had  I  received  no  sustaining  grace  ! 

"Oci,  29th. — I  cannot  often  write  in  my  Diary,  as  it  gives 
me  much  pain  to  do  so.  Increasing  reason  have  I  to  be  re- 
minded of  my  mortality,  and  I  fear  I  have  sometimes  offended 
my  Heavenly  Father  by  a  more  earnest  desire  to  depart,  than 
is  consistent  with  perfect  submission  to  His  will.  Still,  He 
knows  that  in  my  heart  I  desire  that  His  will  may  be  done 
in  all  things,  and  it  is  my  prayer  that  the  way  by  Avhich  He 
is  leading  me  may  not  seem  long.     Many,  many  blessings 


1839.]  VISIT    FROM    J.    J.    GURNET.  257 

are  given  me,  and  I  do  hope  that  a  new  song  will  be  put  into 
my  mouth,  even  praise  to  our  God.  I  am  afraid  I  am  too 
sorrowful.  I  feel  so  lonely  without  my  dear  mother,  and  yet 
I  always  find  comfort  in  prayer. 

"  I  have  said  nothing  about  the  last  Communion  season.  I 
felt  a  resting  of  the  soul  upon  God,  but  when  I  remembered 
that  I  could  not,  as  I  had  been  accustomed,  pray  for  my  dear 
mother,  as  I  knelt  at  the  chancel,  my  heart  was  faint  within 
me.  I  remembered  that  I  must  soon  praise  God  for  His 
mercy  to  her,  for  while  we  were  commemorating  the  dying 
love  of  Jesus  upon  earth,  it  was  her  privilege  to  sit  at  the 
marriage  supper  of  the  Lamb.  Oh,  my  mother,  my  mother  ! 
my  heart  yearns  for  thee,  yet  I  rejoice  that  thou  art  in  Hea- 
ven ;  and  this,  only  the  love  of  Christ  could  enable  me  to  say. 

"  We  had  a  very  sweet  visit  from  dear  Friend  Gurney,  on 
Sunday  week.  He  seemed  to  sympathize  deeply  with  us. 
He  told  me  he  believed  that  He  who  had  begun  a  good  work 
in  my  heart  would  carry  it  on  ;  and  I  believe  He  will,  for 
Christ's  sake.  I  do  love  and  trust  my  Saviour,  and  He  will 
never  forsake  me. 

"  Next  Sunday  will  be  another  Communion  season.  I  do 
not  know  whether  I  shall  be  able  to  go  to  church,  but  I  hope 
my  heart  will  be  prepared  for  this  blessed  ordinance,  which  I 
have  found  the  most  useful  means  of  grace  which  has  been 
vouchsafed  me. 

'  Rock  of  Ages,  cleft  for  me, 
Let  me  hide  myself  in  Thee.'  " 


22* 


CHAPTER   XII. 

1840—1842. 

Effect  of  the  shock  upon  Miss  Allibone's  Health  —  Spiritual  Peace  her 
sole  Support  —  Prostration  —  Intermission  of  Writing  —  Dr.  Clark's 
Letters  —  The  Easter  of  the  Universe  —  Comment  on  Jude  xxiv. — 
Intimacy  with  Miss  L.  V.  Byrd  —  Letters  to  Miss  B.  —  Counsels  to 
the  Desponding  —  Communions  in  private  —  Removal  to  Ilamilton- 
villo  —  Cottage  Home — Efforts  to  do  good  —  Excursions  to  the 
Woodlands  —  Classes  for  Instruction  —  First  Letter  to  Rev.  R. 
Smith. 

It  could  not  be  otherwise  than  that  the  overwhelming 
shock,  which  had  come  so  suddenly  upon  Miss  Allibone, 
should  seriously  affect  her  health.  It  is  wonderful,  indeed, 
that  she  survived  it.  So  frail  and  delicate,  her  nervous  sys- 
tem so  acutely  sensitive,  it  would  have  seemed  inevitable  that 
she  would  sink  under  the  stroke  which  severed  the  bonds  of 
earthly  communion  with  her  fondly-loved  parent.  The  daugh- 
ter expected  soon  to  lay  her  aching  head  beside  her  mother's, 
and  friends  scarcely  looked  for  her  to  remain  long  behind. 
Under  God,  it  may  be  supposed  that  her  holy  resignation  to 
her  Father's  will  exerted  a  soothing  influence,  which  alleviated 
the  physical  effects  of  the  shock  which  she  had  sustained. 
The  balm  in  Gilead  may  have  proved  medicine  to  the  body, 
as  well  as  to  the  stricken  soul.  It  was  obvious,  indeed,  for 
many  years  of  her  languishing  life,  that  her  religious  peace 
and  animating  hopes  were  the  true  support  of  the  debilitated 
frame,  and  that,  bodily  as  well  as  spiritually,  "  the  joy  of 
the  Lord  was  her  strength."  But  while  wonderfully  sup- 
ported through  this  fiery  trial,  her  frail  earthly  tenement 
quivered  and  trembled,  as  if  ready  to  be  dissolved. 

When  the  new  excitement  of  her  grief  subsided,  her 
strength  was  utterly  prostrated,  and  the  struggle  was  doubt- 

(258) 


1840.]  PKOSTRATION.  259 

ful  and  protracted  between  life  and  death.  For  more  than  a 
year  she  lay  passive  in  the  hands  of  her  Almighty  Guardian, 
calmly  awaiting,  in  the  confidence  of  faith,  His  sovereign 
will.  She  was  obliged  to  desist,  during  this  period,  from 
those  exertions  to  benefit  others  which  constituted,  at  other 
times,  so  much  of  her  occupation  and  enjoyment.  The  feeble 
hand  could  no  longer  guide  the  pen,  that  was  wont  to  do  so 
much  for  the  comfort  and  instruction  of  the  absent,  her  cor- 
respondence was  almost  suspended,  and  her  Diary  for  nearly 
two  years  is  a  blank.  From  this  prostration  she  surprisingly 
recovered,  so  as  to  be  able  to  resume  her  epistolary  converse 
with  her  friends,  and  to  impart  oral  teachings  in  her  own 
room,  to  the  profit  and  blessing  of  the  young  and  ignorant. 
But  she  never  regained  the  ability  to  walk  or  to  travel.  The 
visit  to  Temora,  soon  after  her  mother's  death,  was  her  last 
journey,  and  much  as  she  had  enjoyed  these  visits,  she  resigned 
them  without  a  word  of  regret  or  complaint. 

'•'■Jan.  2(7.  —  Again  I  open  my  Diary,  after  an  interval  of 
more  than  nine  weeks.  Unexpected,  indeed,  has  been  the 
continuance,  of  my  life  until  this  time,  for  I  have  been  on  the 
very  confines  of . 

'^ April  24:tJi.  —  Still  I  am  in  this  lower  world,  —  still  expe- 
riencing the  sustaining,  the  consoling  grace  of  my  Heavenly 
Father,  and  receiving  proofs  of  afiection  from  my  beloved 
friends.  Every  day  do  my  precious  sisters  and  brothers 
become  more  dear.  Unvarying  is  their  kindness,  and  I  could 
be  only  willing  to  leave  them  for  my  heavenly  home,  for  the 
Saviour's  presence,  and  for  a  reunion  with  my  blessed  mother. 
I  ought  not  to  write,  for  I  have  little  strength ;  I  should  not, 
otherwise,  neglect  my  Diary :  but  I  would  record  the  love  of 
God,  the  Saviour's  all-sufficiency,  the  Spirit's  aid,  and  my 
own  unworthiness.     Still  is  the  language  of  my  heart, — 

'A  guilty,  woak,  and  helpless  worm, 

On  Thy  kind  arm  I  fall : 
Jesus,  my  strength  and  righteousness, 

My  vSaviour  and  my  all.' 


260  EASTER    OF    THE    UNIVERSE.  [1840. 

Be  ^\-ith  me,  dear  Saviour,  in  my  time  of  need,  and  then  per- 
mit me,  in  Heaven,  to  praise  Thy  redeeming  love  !" 

Extract  from  a  letter  of  Rev.  J.  A.  Clark  to  lli'ss  AJUhonc. 

"April  23d,  1840. 

"  Though  somewhat  fatigued  by  our  journey,  "we  had  one  of  the 
loveliest  views  of  regenerated  nature  rising  from  the  tomb  of  winter 
that  I  ever  enjoyed.  The  foliage  on  the  trees  was  just  beginning  to 
put  forth,  and  a  robe  of  dark  verdure  to  be  spread  over  every  field. 
The  sky  was  cloudless,  the  sun  most  brilliant,  the  air  balmy  and  invi- 
gorating^ a  flood  of  splendor  seemed  poured  over  universal  nature; 
while  the  birds,  on  every  hedge  and  spray,  were  tuning  their  shrill 
pipes,  and  saying  to  the  devout  ear,  ^ Praise  ye  the  Lord.'  It  was 
an  animating  scene,  and  one  calculated 4o  refresh  the  mind  and  wake 
up  gladness  in  the  heart.  I  could  not  but  think  how  delightful  would 
be  that  great  Easter  of  the  universe,  when  'all  that  are  in  the  graves 
shall  hear  the  voice  of  Jesus  and  come  forth ;'  when  the  '  new 
heavens'  and  the  '  new  earth'  shall  be  raised  up  from  the  tomb  and 
the  ashes  of  this  dissolved  world ;  and  we  shall  walk  amid  celestial 
beauty,  immortal  freshness,  and  the  sweet  echoing  voices  of  angels, 
and  be  for  ever  present  with  the  Lord ;  —  behold  Jesus  in  all  His 
loveliness  —  admire  Him  in  His  glory,  and  be  changed  into  the  same 
image. 

"  These  are  meditations  that  occupy  much  of  your  time ;  and  you 
feel  a  longing  desire  to  enter  in,  and  behold  the  unclouded  vision  of 
Immanuel.  Though  your  removal  would  wither  one  of  the  green 
spots  on  earth,  upon  which  I  love  to  linger,  still  1  would  not,  were 
it  in  my  power,  delay  for  a  single  moment  the  approaching  wheels 
of  Messiah's  chariot,  which  is  to  conduct  you  to  the  city  of  the  Great 
King,  and  to  the  presence  of  the  Lamb. 

"  I  know  that  it  is  alone  hy  grace  that  you  are  what  you  are;  you 
have  nothing  whereof  to  boast  —  you  have  nothing  wherein  to  glory; 
but  you  have  a  great  deal  for  which  to  praise  the  Lord  :  the  removal, 
through  the  blood  of  Christ,  of  all  your  sins ;  your  acceptance  in  the 
Beloved ;  a  blessed  hope  which  entereth  within  the  veil ;  a  peace 
which  passeth  all  understanding;  the  spirit  of  adoption  whereby  you 
can  cry,  'Abba,  Father;'  the  Spirit  bearing  witness  with  your  spirit 
that  you  are  a  child  of  God  ;  entire  resignation  to  the  will  of  God; 
a  desire  to  depart  and  be  with  Christ,  which  is  far  better;  an  assured 
hope  of  blessedness  at  God's  right  hand;  these  are  the  precious  gifts 
of  God,  for  which  you  cannot  praise  him  enough." 


1840.]  PASTORAL    SYMPATHY.  261 

Lctttr  from  Rev.  J.  A.  Clark. 

"  Fairfield,  Aug.  14,  1840. 

"  My  very  dear  Friend  :  —  The  way  in  -which  I  have  kept  up  my 
correspondence  with  you  this  summer  just  illustrates  one  great  fact 
in  our  history,  to  wit,  how  much  better  we  resolve  and  promise  than 
we  do.  It  was  a  source  of  deep  sorrow  to  me,  that  in  consequence 
of  my  summer  absence  from  Philadelphia,  I  should  not  have  it  in 
my  power  to  pay  you  those  frequent  pastoral  visits  which  I  did 
during  the  last  winter,  and  which  were  precious  opportunities  of 
spiritual  comfort  and  improvement  to  me,  as  well  as  occasions  of 
imparting,  perhaps,  some  increased  enjoyment  to  you.  I,  however, 
promised  myself,  and  promised  you,  and  fully  intended  at  the  time 
to  redeem  the  pledge  given,  to  write  you  very  often,  and  to  endeavor 
to  make  up,  by  frequent  epistolary  communication,  for  the  want  of 
personal  pastoral  attendance ;  and  yet  here  I  am,  within  three  weeks 
of  the  time  of  my  return,  and  this  is  my  second  letter. 

''I  could  hope  to  explain  my  conduct  to  you,  by  telling  you  that 
since  I  left  home  I  have  been  leading  almost  wholly  an  itinerant 
mode  of  life  —  that  I  have  been  engaged  in  a  round  of  constant  visit- 
ing, reviving  old  friendships,  revisiting  scenes  of  former  interest,  &c. 
I  could  hope  thus  to  clear  myself,  when  arraigned  at  the  bar  of  one 
so  gentle  and  merciful  as  I  know  you  to  be,  but  then  my  heart  brings 
in  a  verdict  against  me  in  reference  to  my  whole  life,  that  I  have 
always  been  jyromisinf/  and  resolvimj  to  do  much  better  than  I  have 
ever  done,  so  that  my  conduct  to  you  is  just  a  specimen  of  my  whole 
life.  Had  I  done  all  that  I  have  resolved  to  do  for  the  Lord,  made 
as  many  pastoral  visits,  written  as  many  books  and  preached  as  many 
sermons  as  I  have  planned,  the  review  of  the  past  would  have  been 
far  more  grateful  to  me  than  it  now  is.  I  now  feel  continually  that 
I  have  *  left  undone  the  things  which  I  ought  to  have  done.'  All 
my  hope  for  my  past  ministry  is,  and  I  suppose  it  will  be  so  at  the 
close  of  my  life,  that  the  Lord  will  have  mercy  upon  me,  for  Jesus' 
sake,  and  pardon  my  want  of  more  zeal,  and  fidelity  and  engaged- 
ness  in  his  cause ;  and  as  I  hope  for  pardon  there,  so  I  trust  my 
acquittal  will  be  obtained  with  you  for  my  present  delinquency,  I 
will  not  promise,  but  irij,  without  promising,  to  do  better  for  the 
future. 

"  The  few  lines  you  sent  me,  traced  with  a  pencil  on  the  last  page 
of  the  sheet  filled  out  by  your  sisters,  I  read  with  peculiar  pleasure, 
because  I  feared  you  would  be  too  feeble  even  to  attempt  this.  I 
have  not  forgotten  or  lost  sight  of  your  request,  that  I  should  pray 


262  COMMENT    ON    JUDE    XXIV.  [1840. 

that  you  might  have  an  'increase  of  faith.'  la  passing  through 
this  changeful  world,  tjiere  is  nothing  that  we  so  much  need  as  true 
child-like  faith ;  no  petition  that  we  need  so  frequently  to  offer  as, 
'Lord,  increase  our  faith.'  If  we  had  the  faith  of  the  ancient  ser- 
vants of  God,  we  should  be  in  little  danger  of  getting  out  of  the 
narrow  path,  because  under  all  trials  we  should  '  endure,  as  seeing 
Him  who  is  invisible,'  and,  under  all  our  troubles,  we  should  have 
such  a  vivid  conception  of  that  '  exceeding  and  eternal  weight  of 
glory'  for  which  our  trials  were  preparing  us,  that  we  should  continue 
'  to  go  on  our  way  rejoicing.' 

"I  pray,  my  dear  friend,  that  you  may  continue  to  'look  unto 
Jesus,'  who  is  '  the  Author  and  Finisher  of  your  faith.'  Is  there 
not  something  most  reviving  and  heavenly  in  the  thought  that 
Christ  knoweth  the  sheep  of  his  flock,  and  that  he  has  promised  that 
nothing  shall  pluck  them  out  of  his  hand,  and  that  none  of  them 
shall  ever  perish  ?  Oh,  what  a  great  and  glorious  Redeemer  you 
have  !  Do  you  not  often  contemplate  his  character  with  increasing- 
delight?  What  a  glorious  description  of  Him  is  that  which  the 
Scriptures  give,  as  '  One  that  is  able  to  keep  you  from  falling,  and 
to  present  you  faultless  before  the  presence  of  His  glory  with  ex- 
ceeding joy.'  What  a  blessing  to  know  that,  in  our  passage  to 
Heaven,  we  are  in  the  hands  of  one  who  is  '  ahle  to  Jcecp  its  froni 
falling,'  for  how  many  things  there  are  in  this  wilderness-world, 
through  which  we  are  passing,  to  cause  us  to  stumble  and  fall ! 
What  a  blessing  to  know  we  are  in  the  hands  of  one  who  is  'able  to 
present  us  faultless  before  the  presence  of  His  glory !'  What  a  mi- 
racle of  wisdom  and  mercy  to  '  bring  a  clean  thing  out  of  an  unclean,' 
to  present  a  guilty  sinner  ymtWess  at  the  stern  bar  of  infinite  justice  ! 
And  then  what  a  privilege  to  be  made  able  to  stand  at  that  bar,  not 
only  calm  and  peaceful,  but  filled  '  loith  exceeding  joy !'  All  this 
Christ  will  do  for  you  and  me.  Should  we  not  then  love  Christ  ? 
Should  we  ever  doubt  or  distrust  his  goodness  ?  Is  not  tliis  the 
best  way  to  kindle  up  our  faith  into  a  brighter  blaze,  to  meditate 
much,  and  prayerfully,  upon  the  character  of  our  great  and  adorable 
Redeemer  ? 

"  Your  affectionate  Pastor." 

About  this  period,  an  intimate  friendship  was  formed  be- 
tween the  subject  of  this  memoir  and  Miss  Lucie  V.  Bjrd,  a 
young  lady  whose  personal  beauty,  graceful  manners,  refine- 
ment and  intelligence,  are  described  by  those  Avho  knew  her 


1840.]  A    NEW    FRIENDSHIP.  263 

in  the  most  glowing  language.  Congeniality  of  taste  and 
sentiment,  and  mutual  appreciation  of  each  other,  and  espe- 
cially religious  sympathy  and  spiritual  communion,  drew  the 
two  friends  very  closely  together.  Miss  Byrd  was  only  in 
lier  sixteenth  year  when  this  intimacy  commenced,  and  was 
indebted  to  the  fervent  piety  and  affectionate  persuasives  of 
her  friend  for  that  influence,  which  was  most  important  to  one 
just  entering  upon  a  world  of  temptation  and  danger.  To 
Miss  AUibone's  faithful  counsels  she  traced,  under  the  bless- 
ing of  the  Highest,  those  Christian  principles  and  hopes  which 
proved  such  a  strength  and  treasure  to  her  during  a  life, 
all  too  short  for  those  who  looked  upon  her  with  love,  and 
which  invested  her  early  death -bed  with  celestial  brightness. 
"Do  you  remember,  dear  Susan,"  she  wrote,  "how  much 
your  first  instructions  were  blessed  to  me  ?  Before  we  met, 
I  had  almost  determined  to  give  up  all  hope  of  becoming  a 
Christian.  Since  that  time  I  have  tasted  the  sweetness  of 
believing  in  Jesus,  and  had  my  heart  opened  to  see  and 
believe  many  things  that  I  had  never  seen  and  believed 
before." 

Of  the  letters  included  in  this  sketch,  a  considerable  num- 
ber are  addressed  to  this  interesting  young  person,  to  whom 
Miss  AUibone's  heart  clung  with  the  truest  and  deepest  affec- 
tion. Won  by  the  latter's  gentle  but  faithful  representations, 
Lucie  consecrated  her  youth  to  the  Lord  who  bought  her. 
While,  (in  Miss  AUibone's  language,)  "  her  beauty,  graceful- 
ness, and  winning  manners  attracted  the  homage  of  many 
hearts,  she  turned  from  the  incense  of  adulation  to  the  Cross 
of  Jesus,  and  loved  better  to  worship  there  than  to  be  the 
centre  of  the  admiring  throng."  The  spiritual  enjoyments 
of  Miss  Byrd  were,  for  a  time,  greatly  hindered  and  darkened 
by  depressing  fears  and  doubts,  and  the  counsels  of  her  expe- 
rienced friend,  so  strong  in  faith  and  love,  during  this  period 
of  gloom  and  sadness,  were  truly  invaluable. 


264  LETTERS    TO    MISS    BTRD.  [1841. 

To  Miss  L.  Y.  B. 

"PLila.,  March  2,  1841. 

''  I  must  yield,  dear  Lucie,  to  the  impulse  which  urges  me  to 
write  to  you,  though  you  kindly  desire  me  to  avoid  the  exertion ; 
and  if,  through  the  aid  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  I  shall  be  enabled  in  any 
degree  to  strengthen  your  desire  to  serve  our  Heavenly  Father,  and 
to  confirm  j^our  confidence  in  His  faithfulness  and  love,  I  shall  be 
more  than  compensated  for  the  physical  inconvenience  the  efibrt 
may  produce ;  for  I  can  truly  say  that  I  do  '  yearn  over  you  in  the 
bowels  of  Christ  Jesus.' 

"  You  have  been,  since  you  left  us,  the  daily  subject  of  my 
thoughts  and  prayers,  and  your  letter  was  received  with  a  very 
warm  welcome,  which  I  will  promise  in  advance  to  as  many  epistles 
as  you  may  feel  disposed  to  send  us;  for  you  need  never  fear  that 
the  expression  of  your  feelings  will  be  wearisome,  or  that  we  shall 
cease  to  give  you  our  sympathies  and  prayers.  I  should  be  full  of 
fear  for  you,  dear  Lucie,  for  I  know  you  are  surrounded  by  tempta- 
tions, were  I  not  fully  assured  that  you  may  at  all  times  provide 
yourself  with  those  spiritual  weapons,  which  will  enable  you  to 
*  fight  manfully  against  the  world,  the  flesh  and  the  devil,'  and  I 
trust,  dear  Lucie,  you  have  resolved  to  'put  on  the  whole  armor  of 
God,'  and  will  ever  be  encouraged  by  the  assurance  that  '  who  in 
the  strength  of  Jesus  trusts,  is  more  than  conqueror.'  You  judge 
correctly  in  the  expression  of  your  opinion  that  unbelief  is  among 
the  greatest  sins.  We  could  not  wound  an  earthly  friend  more 
keenly  than  by  doubting  his  affection  or  willingness  to  aid  us;  and 
if  his  word  were  called  in  question,  he  would  feel  that  he  was 
grossly  injured.  How  numerous^  and  consoling  are  the  promises 
which  are  given  us  in  the  word  of  God  !  And  we  can  best  honor 
our  Heavenly  Father  by  pleading  these  promises  in  the  name  of 
Jesus,  and  trusting  Him  for  their  fulfilment  with  filial  confidence. 
We  are  told,  of  a  city  once  visited  by  our  Saviour,  '  He  did  not 
many  mighty  works  there  because  of  their  unbelief;'  and  this  passage 
of  Scripture  is  to  me  a  solemn  warning  against  despondency.  But, 
again,  the  Bible  tells  us,  '  Blessed  is  the  man  that  feareth  alway,' 
and,  truly,  we  should  fear  our  own  wayward  and  deceitful  hearts, 
the  temptations  of  Satan  and  the  withering  influence  of  the  world ; 
and  then,  with  these  fears,  we  should  run  to  the  cross  of  Christ,  for 
there  only  can  safety  and  peace  be  found.  May  '  the  fear  of  the 
Lord,'  dear  Lucie,  be  the  ruling  fear  of  your  heart,  and  in  it  you 
will  find  strong  confidence  and  a  place  of  refuge.     Prov.  14,  26. 


1841.]  CHRISTIAN     COUNSELS.  265 

"  I  wish  you  could  have  been  with  us  last  Sunday  week.  Mr. 
Clark  administered  the  Communion,  and  a  refreshing  season  it  was 
—  more  precious  than  the  best  pleasures  ever  enjoyed  by  the  vota- 
ries of  the  world.  Oh,  how  sadly  mistaken  are  those  who  think 
religion  a  gloomy  thing  !  They  should  read  the  174th  hymn  of  our 
blessed  Prayer-book,  as  expressive  of  the  feelings  of  those  who  have 
discovered  the  secret  of  true  happiness.  I  once  heard  Dr.  Bedell 
assure  a  lady  who  was  afraid  to  choose  the  Lord  for  her  portion, 
because  she  thought  it  possible  her  taste  for  worldly  amusements 
would  revive,  that,  if  her  heart  were  once  filled  with  the  love  of 
Christ,  she  would  be  in  little  danger.     *     *     * 

"  March  4:(h.  —  You  are  now,  I  suppose,  in  a  scene  of  excitement 
and  interest ;  and,  I  trust,  you  have  not  forgotten  to  ask  our  Hea- 
venly Father  to  endue  our  new  President  with  that  wisdom  which 
only  cometh  from  above.  How  much  better  to  express  our  patriot- 
ism at  a  throne  of  grace,  where  we  can  best  serve  our  country's  in- 
terests, than  in  enthusiasm,  or  useless  invective  against  those  with 
whom  we  disagree  ! 

"  Religion  is  an  unfailing  resource  in  every  time  of  need,  and  it 
surely  irradiates  the  hrigldest  scenes  of  earth.  Oh,  that  we  may  know 
more  and  more  of  its  power  [     *     *     * 

"  Dear  Lucie,  you  will  not  forget  daily  self-examination.  This  is 
not  a  pleasant,  but  a  very  profitable  employment." 

To  the  same. 

*'I  cannot  resist  the  temptation  to  send  you  a  very  few  lines  by 
so  good  an  opportunity,  dear  Lucie.  I  received  your  letter  with 
much  pleasure,  and  was  delighted  to  learn  that  you  were  at  that 
time  experiencing  an  increase  of  peace.  If  you  will  steadily  con- 
template the  cross  of  Christ,  your  mind  will  be  \fiUed  with  joy  and 
peace  in  believing  ;'  and  fervently  I  pray  that  *  with  joy  you  may 
draw  water  from  the  wells  of  salvation.'  I  was  quite  surprised  to 
learn  that  your  desire  to  be  confirmed  was  so  soon  to  be  gratified. 
Write  very  soon  and  tell  me  all  about  it.  I  expect  to  commune 
very  soon,  and  wish  you  could  be  with  me. 

"  Our  beloved  Pastor  has  been  laboring  most  faithfully  during  the 
season  of  Lent,  and  is  quite  sick,  although  able  to  preach.  I  in- 
tended sending  you  a  message  from  him,  but  he  has  not  been  here 
during  the  last  two  weeks.  Thirty-nine  persons  were  confirmed  at 
our  church,  two  weeks  since,  and  I  hope  many  hearts  in  our  congre- 

23 


266  REMEDY    FOR    DOUBTS.  [1841. 

gation  have  been  visited  with  the  strivings  of  the  Spirit,  though  I 
feel  disappoioted  that  a  larger  number  have  not  consecrated  theui- 
pelvcs  to  the  Lord.     *     *     * 

"  I  suppose  you  all  deeply  felt  the  loss  of  our  beloved  President. 
It  is,  indeed,  a  national  calamity ;  but  it  is  consoling  to  observe  the 
religious  feeling  which  has  been  elicited,  and  the  proclamation  of 
the  President  in  reference  to  a  day  of  fasting  and  prayer  should 
excite  our  fervent  thanksgiving.  I  shall  hope  well  for  my  beloved 
country  when  she  humbles  herself  before  God."     *     *     * 

To  the  same. 

"PiiiLA.,  April  29,  1841. 

" '  Behold  the  Lamb  of  God  which  taketh  away  the  sins  of  the 
world.'  This,  dear  Lucie,  is  the  counsel  I  am  prompted  to  offer  you; 
this  the  consolation  I  would  administer,  and  can  you  not  receive  it? 
Have  you  not  yet  learned  to  turn  away  from  your  sins  and  sorrows 
to  that  compassionate  Redeemer,  who  is  looking  upon  you  with  unut- 
terable love,  and  saying,  '  Come  unto  Me,  and  I  will  give  you  rest.' 
Lucie,  my  dear  child,  you  need  not  doubt.  That  blessed  Spirit  who 
has  convinced  you  of  the  holiness  of  the  law,  and  of  your  inability  to 
fulfil  its  demands,  will  also  teach  you  that  '  Christ  is  the  end  of  the 
law  for  righteousness  to  every  one  that  believeth.' 

"  I  received  your  letter  this  evening,  and  do  you  think  I  could 
resist  the  temptation  to  tell  you  at  once  how  sincere  is  my  sympathy, 
and  how  fervent  my  hope  that  God  will  yet  lift  on  you  the  light  of 
His  countenance  ?  You  will  be  surprised  if  I  tell  you  that  I  am 
not  at  all  discouraged  about  you,  and  that  though  I  regret  that  your 
faith  is  so  very  weak,  I  do  not  doubt  that  it  is  genuine.  If  I  had 
previously  feared,  as  I  never  have  done,  that  your  mind  had  been 
unvisited  by  the  Holy  Spirit,  this  sad  letter  would  have  removed 
the  impression,  for  it  contains  the  expression  of  feelings  which 
come  not  from  the  world,  nor  from  Satan,  nor  from  your  own  heart, 
for  ilicy  would  persuade  you  to  self  complacency,  and  delude  you 
with  false  peace.  The  Holy  Spirit  is  showing  you  that  you  are 
wretched,  and  miserable,  and  poor,  and  blind  and  naked,  that  you 
may  appreciate  the  'gold  tried  in  the  fire,'  the  'white  raiment'  and 
the  '  eye-salve,'  which  our  kind  Redeemer  so  kindly  counsels  us  to 
buy  of  Him.  —  Rev.  3  :  18.  But,  dear  Lucie,  though  I  am  thank- 
ful that  you  realize  your  sinfulness,  I  am  sorry  that  you  forget  too 
much  the  promises  of  the  Gospel  and  the  love  of  Christ.     Continue 


1841.]  ENCOURAGEMENT.  267 

to  pray,  however,  and  your  faith  will  be  increased.  You  will  find 
an  appropriate  promise  in  Is.  40  :  29.     *     *     * 

"Perhaps  your  Heavenly  Father  has  deprived  you  of  the  spiritual 
aid  you  desire,  that  your  dependence  may  be  upon  Him  only,  and 
yet  it  is  your  duty  to  use  every  means  of  grace,  and  I  am  sure  His 
Spirit  prompts  the  interest  and  counsel  we  would  give.  I  feel  that 
1  need  teaching ;  that  I  am  quite  as  sinful  as  you  feel  yourself  to 
be;  but  Jesus  is  my  hope,  and  I  can  lead  you  to  Him. 

"Last  Monday  it  was  my  privilege  to  receive  again  the  holy  Com- 
munion, and,  as  Mr.  Clark  said  in  his  prayer  afterwards,  we  realized 
that  Jesus  was  with  us  in  the  breaking  of  bread.  I  should  be 
grieved,  indeed,  were  you  to  absent  yourself  from  this  ordinance 
because  you  cannot  enjoy  the  consolation  you  desire.  It  is  only  in 
the  path  of  duty  the  blessing  of  God  can  be  expected.  I  am  truly 
thankful  that  you  persevere  in  prayer,  for  any  neglect  of  this  kind 
would  be  dangerous  indeed. 

'  Restraining  prayer,  we  cease  to  fight : 
And  Satan  trembles  when  he  sees 
The  weakest  saint  upon  his  knees.' 

"  And  while  you  persevere  in  seeking  the  comforts,  neglect  not, 
dear  Lucie,  to  ask  for  the  graces  of  the  Spirit.  Even  while  your 
heart  is  heavy  you  can  exercise  forbearance  and  self-denial,  and 
many  other  Christian  virtues,  while  your  Father  in  Heaven  will  look 
with  delight  upon  your  efforts  to  please.  Obey  Him  with  filial 
reverence  ;  trust  Him  with  filial  confidence,  and  the  'Spirit  of  adop- 
tion' will  be  ere  long  sent  into  your  heart,  and  you  will  be  enabled 
to  cry  unto  Him  '  Abba,  Father.'  Is.  50 :  10,  will  give  you  most 
appropriate  counsel.  And  then,  dear  Lucie,  do  not  be  induced  to 
desist  from  the  study  of  the  Bible  because  you  do  not  find  the  de- 
light in  it  you  so  much  and  so  properly  desire.  Its  precepts  you 
can  practise,  even  though  j'ou  cannot  appropriate  its  promises.  But 
then,  St.  Paul  says,  '  Covet  earnestly  the  best  gifts,'  so  you  do  well 
to  seek  for  peace  as  well  as  knowledge.  Again  would  I  direct  you 
to  our  compassionate  Redeemer.  You  are  a  great  sinner,  but  He  is 
a  greater  Saviour;  and  remember  that  unbelief  is  one  of  the  great- 
est sins. 

"  You  say  that  I  have  never  felt  nor  acted  as  you  have  done. 
Alas,  Lucie,  you  do  not  know  how  sinful  I  have  been.  This  very 
day  I  have  been  shedding  tears  of  penitence.  It  has  often  been  the 
language  of  my  heart,  — 


268  GRATITUDE   AND   PEACE.  [1841. 

*  And  lo  !  I  come  ;  and  Thou,  blest  Lamb, 
Shall  take  me  to  Thee  as  I  am  ; 
Nothing  but  sin  I  Thee  can  give, 
Nothing  but  grace  shall  I  receive.' 

"  Do  you  know  that  sweet  hymn  of  Kirke  White's,  *  There  is  a 
fountain  filled  with  blood,'  and  that  one  in  '  Sacred  Gems,'  '  Come, 
poor  sinner,  come  to  Jesus.'  Remember  Christ  has  died  for  you 
just  as  much  as  though  no  one  else  had  ever  lived. 

'  He  is  willing.  He  is  able  ;  doubt  no  more.' 

"  Yoti  must  write  to  me  very  soon,  for  I  shall  feel  very  anxious  to 
hear  from  you.  One  thing  I  should  not  forget  to  recommend,  that 
you  spend  much  time  in  praising  God  for  what  He  has  done  for  you. 
What  kindness  has  he  evinced  in  having  spared  your  life  until  you 
were  made  willing  to  give  your  heart  to  Him  !  And  then,  dear 
Lucie,  you  will  not  forget  daily  self-examination.  We  should  make 
no  companion  of  sin  of  any  kind." 

"iliar<?7i  20tJi,  Sunday  evening. — '  Our  hearts  shall  rejoice 
in  Him,  because  we  have  trusted  in  His  holy  name.'  What 
shall  I  say  of  the  events  which  have  occurred  during  the  past 
three  years  ?  Shall  I  speak  of  bereavement,  of  sorrow  and 
pain ;  of  my  sins  and  omissions  of  duty  ?  I  love  best  to 
record  the  loving-kindness  of  my  Father,  my  very  present 
help  in  trouble.  Oh,  what  love  has  he  shown  me,  what  gen- 
tleness, what  care  !  Peace  which  passeth  understanding  has 
been  my  portion.  Temporal,  comforts  innumerable  —  my 
friends,  my  brothers  and  sisters,  my  Pastor  —  oh,  what  have 
they  been  to  me  !  Looks  and  words  of  kindness,  and  unfail- 
ing offices  of  love,  have  been  showered  upon  me  by  my  own 
precious  family.  Christians  have  given  me  their  sympathy 
and  prayers,  and  often  have  I  returned  hearty  thanks  for  the 
communion  of  saints, —  and  then  I  have  seen  sinners  brought 
to  Jesus. 

"  One  of  the  greatest  blessings  I  have  enjoyed,  since  my 
confinement  to  my  room,  has  been  the  holy  Communion. 
Language  learned  from  the  heavenly  world  could  alone 
express  the  comfort  I  have  derived  from  this  ordinance.    This 


1841.]  PRIVATE     COMMUNIONS.  269 

afternoon  I  was  privileged  to  receive  it,  after  a  longer  interval 
than  usual ;  and  I  felt  that  with  implicit  confidence  I  could 
rely  upon  the  Cross  of  Christ.  I  felt  that  I  was  very  sinful, 
but  looked  to  Jesus,  nothing  doubting." 

After  increasing  Aveakncss  rendered  Miss  Allibone  an  almost 
constant  prisoner  in  her  room,  and  she  was  thus  debarred 
from  participation  in  those  devotions  and  ordinances  of  the 
sanctuary  which  she  had  found  so  edifying  and  full  of  com- 
fort, she  gladly  availed  herself  of  such  means  of  grace  as 
were  still  within  her  reach.  And  especially  did  she  prize 
and  enjoy  the  privilege  which  her  Church  so  tenderly  and 
considerately  extends  to  her  sick  members,  of  partaking  in 
their  retirement  the  precious  memorials  of  redeeming  love. 
Very  frequent  in  her  Diary  and  Letters,  during  the  remain- 
ing years  of  her  life,  are  allusions  like  the  foregoing  to  the 
spiritual  refreshment  thus  ministered  to  her.  Her  simple, . 
clear,  earnest  faith  in  her  crucified  Redeemer,  by  which  every 
day  and  almost  every  hour  she  was  enabled  indeed  to  "  eat 
his  flesh  and  drink  his  blood,"  instead  of  disparaging  the 
Lord's  Supper,  only  made  it  so  much  the  more  sweet  and 
reviving  to  her  soul.  These  Communions  were  to  the  offici- 
ating minister,  and  the  few  chosen  friends  who  united  in 
them,  seasons  of  the  deepest  solemnity.  The  felt  presence 
and  love  of  the  Lord  Jesus  affected  all  who  partook,  with  this 
waiting  saint,  of  the  broken  bread  and  of  the  cup  of  blessing. 
Where  two  or  three  were  thus  gathered.  He  was  in  their 
midst,  whom  having  not  seen  they  loved.  The  following  is 
another  record  of  the  same  kind  : 

^'- April  ZQtli.  —  Have  this  day  again  received  the  Commu- 
nion, and  with  grateful  heart  I  bless  my  Saviour  that  He  did 
vouchsafe  to  institute  this  ordinance  —  so  simple  —  so  suited 
to  our  wants  —  so  illustrative  of  His  wisdom  and  His  love. 
It  is  to  me  always  a  comfort  and  a  blessing ;  though  I  pain- 
fully ''(C\  that  in  this,  as  well  as  in  all  things  else,  I  am  often 

90  * 


270  LONGINGS     FOR     HEAVEN.  [1841. 

tried  Tvitli  wandering  thoughts,  and  with  a  Avant  of  the  deep 
spirituality  that  I  desire.  Dear  Dr.  C.  seemed  weak  and  sick, 
and  I  earnestly  desired  that  spiritual  strength  might  be  given 
him.  I  should  be  glad  to  keep  a  daily  record  of  events  and 
frames  of  mind,  but  I  cannot  do  this.  I  have  to  devote  my 
little  strength  to  other  purposes.  Oh,  that  it  were  more 
entirely  consecrated  to  the  Lord !  I  am  weak  and  sinful, 
but  my  blessed  Saviour  has  done  for  me  all  that  I  need  —  all 
that  I  desire. 

"  Oh,  how  very  kind  is  my  Heavenly  Father  !  How  won- 
derful that  He  should  give  me  so  much  spiritual  comfort,  and 
enable  me  to  do  any  thing  for  the  cause  of  Jesus  !  Oh,  when 
shall  I  be  pure  in  heart  ?  When  shall  I  be  with  Jesus  ? 
Heaven,  oh  !  Heaven,  I  long  to  be  there ;  but  the  Lord's  will 
be  done.  I  would  try  to  find  in  every  station  something  to 
do  or  learn,  and  with  this  spirit  await  my  summons  home, — 
home  to  the  world  where  redeemed  sinners  surround  the 
Lamb  of  God,  and  praise  his  dying  love." 

To  iMiss  L.  V.  B. 

"  Your  letter  arrived  this  evening,  dear  Lucie,  and  was  received 
with  a  very  sincere  welcome.  I  am  thankful  that  you  have  been 
enabled  to  exercise  a  greater  degree  of  faith,  and  trust  it  will  be 
daily  increased.  You  cannot  expect  too  much  from  God,  and  too 
little  from  your  own  heart,  unassisted  by  His  grace.  I  feel  very 
grateful  that  our  Heavenly  Father  has  been  pleased  to  make  me  iu 
any  degree  useful  to  you,  my  beloved  Lucie,  for  I  feel  that  it  is  a 
proof  of  His  love,  and  I  hope  you  will  not  cease  to  remember  me  in 
your  daily  prayers ;  and  you  must  pray  for  me,  '  not  as  having 
attained,  or  already  perfect,'  but  as  one  who  desires  to  'press  towards 
the  mark.' 

"This  note  I  send  by  my  dear  Pastor,  who  intends  visiting  you 
if  he  possibly  can.  How  glad  you  will  be  to  see  him,  if  he  should 
be  able  to  get  to  your  house,  and  I  should  like  your  family  to  know 
him.  They  would  find  him  not  only  a  consistent  Christian,  but  a 
perfect  gentleman.  I  think,  dear  Lucie,  you  should  communicate 
your  feelings  to  your  Pastor.     I  have  no  doubt  he  would  be  gratified 


1841.]  LETTERS.  271 

by  your  confidence,  and  I  hope  you  do  not  forget  to  pray  for  him 
every  day.  We  do  not  remember  to  pray  for  the  ministers  of  Christ 
as  we  should.     St.  Paul  speaks  much  of  this  duty. 

"I  send  you  a  package  of  tracts  :  some  of  them  are  very  excellent. 
The  'Almost  Christian'  is  very  solemn.  Do  not  be  discouraged  by 
the  stupidity  of  those  whom  you  endeavor  to  instruct.  As  Miss  Fry 
says,  we  are  only  required  to  fill  the  water-pots  with  water — it  is  the 
Saviour's  ofl&ce  to  turn  the  water  into  wine."     *     *     * 

To  the  same. 

"Phil A.,  May  2,  1841. 

'*  Your  letter,  this  morning  received,  excited,  dear  Lucie,  feelings 
of  commiseration  and  regret.  I  attempt  to  answer  it  with  a  deep 
sense  of  insufiiciency,  trusting  that  the  Holy  Spirit  will  teach  me 
what  to  say  to  you.  I  have  in  my  hand  my  little  book  of  Scripture 
Promises,  and  from  almost  every  page  I  could  select  some  assurance 
of  the  love  of  God,  which  refers  to  your  spiritual  necessities  —  pro- 
mises freely  offered  to  all  who  desire  their  acceptance,  conveyed  to 
us  from  the  mouth  of  the  Eternal,  through  the  medium  of  His  holy 
Word,  sealed  by  the  blood  of  Christ,  and  tested  by  the  experience 
of  glorified  saints,  and  millions  who  are  on  their  journey  to  the  celes- 
tial city.  And  yet  you  reject  them  all;  saying,  'They  are  not  for 
me  ;  I  am  too  great  a  sinner.'  Alas  !  this  unbelief  is  your  greatest 
sin, — this  unwillingness  to  take  God  at  His  word,  this  want  of  confi- 
dence which  would  be  considered  so  unkind,  so  insulting,  by  an 
earthly  friend.  This  state  of  mind  is  the  result,  dear  Lucie,  of  the 
tendency  against  which  I  have  so  often  cautioned  you.  You  have 
looked  to  yourself  for  good,  and  trusted  to  frames  of  mind  for  com- 
fort ;  and  as  the  Holy  Spirit  has  shown  you  that  in  you,  '  that  is,  in 
your  flesh,  there  dwelleth  no  good  thing,'  you  have  yielded  to  emo- 
tions of  despondency,  until  Satan,  who  is  always  gaining  advantage 
while  we  look  to  self,  would  tempt  you  to  despair,  and  now  it  is  quite 
time  that  you  escape  from  hisbondage,  since  yet  there  is  hope.  Suppose 
the  Israelites  had  steadfastly  regarded  the  number  and  aggravation 
of  their  wounds,  unheeding  the  appointed  means  of  relief;  would 
they  have  been  healed  ?  and  would  you  not  have  regarded  their  con- 
duct with  surprise  ?  'As  Moses  lifted  up  the  serpent  in  the  wilder- 
ness, even  so  must  the  Son  of  man  be  lifted  up,  that  whosoever  be- 
lieveth  in  Him  should  not  perish,  but  have  eternal  life.' 

"But  I  suppose  you  would  say,  'I  do  not  believe  as  I  ought.' 
Well;  then,  there  is  another  promise  which  will  just  suit  you.  '  Come 


272  DESPONDENCY.  [1841. 

unto  me,  all  ye  that  are  weary  and  heavy  laden,  and  I  will  give  you 
rest.'  You  feel  that  you  are  weary  and  heavy  laden,  and  I  beseech 
you,  dear  Lucie,  to  carry  this  promise  to  the  mercy-seat,  remember- 
ing that  the  same  Saviour,  who  uttered  these  kind  words  of  invita- 
tion, is  looking  upon  you  from  His  holy  throne,  and  still  saying  to 
you,  even  as  though  no  other  being  existed  and  you  were  the  sole 
object  of  His  compassion,  '  Come  unto  me,  and  I  will  give  you  rest.' 
Lay  hold  upon  this  promise,  let  it  not  go. 

'  "  Come  to  me,"  the  Saviour  cries, 
"  Lord,  I  come,"  my  heart  replies, 
Speak  the  word  and  it  is  done, 
Draw  me.  Lord,  and  I  shall  run.' 

"  And  is  He  not  drawing  you,  dear  Lucie  ?  Oh  how  ungrateful 
to  doubt  the  willingness  of  God  to  save  you,  when  you  have  already 
received  such  proofs  of  His  mercy  !  Has  He  not  awakened  you  from 
the  sleep  of  death,  and  given  you  the  influences  of  His  Holy  Spirit  ? 
What  report  are  you  giving  of  His  character  to  those-  around  you, 
who  have  not  yet  learned  for  themselves  that  '  God  is  love  ?'  For 
their  sakes,  rest  not  until  you  can  give  your  testimony  to  the  blessed- 
ness of  religion.  You  speak  of  the  temptation  you  have  felt  to  give 
up  prayer  and  the  attempt  to  serve  God.  If  you  were  to  yield  to 
this  suggestion  of  the  enemy,  I  should  have  to  cease  the  language  of. 
encouragement  and  use  that  of  solemn  warning;  but  I  do  not  believe 
you  will. 

"  Let  this  be  the  language  of  your  heart,  '  Though  He  slay  rae, 
yet  will  I  trust  in  Him  ;'  and  take  care,  earnest  and  prayerful  care, 
that  you  do  not  look  to  any  other  source  for  consolation.  Satan 
would  tempt  you  to  do  this,  for  hq  knows  that  if  you  persevere  in 
seeking  God  you  tvlU  find  Him.  And  he  would  also  take  advan- 
tage of  your  despondency  to  tempt  you  to  be  less  watchful  against 
sin.  It  is  much  more  easy  to  resist  temptation  when  the  heart  is 
filled  with  holy  joys,  than  when  it  is  sorrowful.  Persevere  in  the 
study  of  the  Bible,  in  prayer  and  in  efibrts  to  do  good,  whether  you 
find  pleasure  in  those  employments  or  not.  They  are  no  less  dutieit, 
even  if  they  are  no  longer  delightful.  Oh,  Lucie,  my  poor  Lucie, 
my  heart  aches  for  you;  and  gladly  would  I  give  you  comfort.  Never 
hesitate  to  tell  me  your  feelings,  nor  to  expect  my  sympathy  and 
prayers;  but  peace  /cannot  give.  Again  I  would  say  to  you, — look 
to  Jesus ;  say  to  the  Lord,  '  I  will  not  let  Thee  go  except  Thou 
bless  me.' 

"  Tuesday  afternoon.     When  I  last  wrote  to  you,  I  knew  that  Dr. 


1841.]  REMOVAL    TO    HAMILTONVILLE.  273 

Clark  intended  a  visit  to  the  South,  and  that  he  had  proujised  to 
make  an  effort  to  visit  you,  but  I  was  fearful  he  would  not  be  able 
and  did  not  wish  you  to  be  disappointed.  He  left  last  Tuesday,  and 
sincerely  I  hope  your  Heavenly  Father  will  send  him  to  you  if  He 
shall  see  it  best  that  he  should  go.     *     *     * 

"  I  hope  you  will  persevere  in  efforts  for  others, — time  is  short. 
*  *  *  Just  one  more  suggestion  about  your  state  of  mind  before 
I  close.  Forget  not  to  thank  God  for  all  He  has  done.  Remember 
your  mercies,  and  see  if  He  does  not  give  you  more.  Perhaps  you 
have  not  thanked  Him  as  you  should  for  all  He  has  done  for  you." 

In  June,  1841,  Miss  Allibone's  residence  was  transferred 
to  Hamiltonville,  West  Philadelphia,  and  she  became,  for  the 
remainder  of  her  life,  an  inmate  of  the  retired  and  peaceful 
home,  which  is  so  associated  with  her  image  in  the  recollec- 
tions of  many  friends  and  visitors.  Although  now  embraced 
■within  the  limits  of  the  fast-spreading  city,  her  cottage-home, 
embosomed  in  thick  foliage,  wore  an  aspect  altogether  rural, 
an  air  of  shaded  seclusion,  that  might  cause  one  to  fancy 
himself  far  distant  from  the  busy  haunts  of  men.  This  quiet 
and  beautiful  retreat  was  enclosed  within  her  brother's  grounds, 
and  there,  watched  over  with  untiring  assiduity,  cheered  with 
daily  manifestations  of  sisterly  and  fraternal  affection,  grati- 
fied, as  her  strength  permitted,  with  the  visits  of  her  relatives^ 
and  numerous  friends,  thirteen  years  of  Miss  Allibone's  life 
passed  under  circumstances  as  desirable  as  could  well  be  com- 
bined with  extreme  debility  and  unintermitted  suffering. 
Among  the  merciful  alleviations  of  her  lot  she  frequently  and 
warmly  acknowledged  the  uncommon  tenderness  and  fidelity 
of  Sarah,  her  devoted  nurse,  who  for  nine  years  was  her  con- 
stant attendant,  and  whose  services  were  continued  until 
mortal  watchers  gave  place  to  ministering  spirits.  Gratefully 
did  she  appreciate  arrangements  so  conducive  to  her  comfort, 
and  fervent  were  her  thanksgivings  to  Him,  whose  hand  she 
delighted  to  trace  in  every  gratification,  that  the  lines  had 
fallen  unto  her  in  such  pleasant  places. 

And  while  her  life  was  unexpectedly  prolonged  from  year 


274  EXCURSIONS.  [1841. 

to  year,  she  lived  not  to  herself.  Very  faitlifully  was  she 
engaged  in  that  work  to  which  she  felt  herself  called  so  dis- 
tinctly when  first  stretched  upon  the  bed  of  languishing,  the 
work  of  glorifying  God  and  winning  souls  to  Christ.  And 
abundantly  was  she  prospered  in  her  efforts.  The  pale,  help- 
less invalid  proved  a  blessing  indeed  to  the  place  of  her  so- 
journ, and  many  had  cause  to  thank  God  that  He  had  brought 
her  there,  like  a  ministering  angel,  to  diffuse  around  her  light 
and  love  and  holiness.  Her  heart  was  full  of  sympathy  and 
concern  for  all  whom  she  could  benefit ;  and  the  poor,  the 
sick,  the  afflicted,  the  perplexed  felt  that  in  her  they  had  a 
friend  and  counsellor.  For  the  first  three  years  of  her  resi- 
dence, she  was  able  to  take  the  air  in  a  small  light  carriage, 
drawn  by  boys.  In  this  little  vehicle  she  made  what  might 
be  called  short  missionary  excursions,  having  ever  a  kind, 
winning  word  for  the  children  and  others  whom  curiosity 
attracted,  and  being  provided  with  tracts  for  distribution  as 
opportunity  offered.  Instead  of  being  annoyed,  as  many 
would  have  been,  by  the  attention  which  she  excited,  she 
availed  herself  of  it  as  furnishing  occasions  for  doing  good. 
These  excursions  are  thus  described  in  an  appropriate  obituary 
►sketch : 

"  A  sweet  smile,  a  graceful  offering  of  the  selected  tract, 
a  few  words  only  of  kindness,  an4  the  little  vehicle  passed  on. 
Not  often  were  the  eyes  of  the  recipient  tearless,  and  many 
a  rough  hand  has  been  hastily  brushed  across  the  cheek,  as 
with  unwonted  emotion  its  owner  hurried  on,  with  the  convic- 
tion that  there  must  be  a  nobler  state  of  existence  and  a  bet- 
ter world  than  this.  The  personal  appearance  of  Miss  Alli- 
bone,  the  indescribable  grace  of  an  exquisite  refinement  in 
every  word  and  gesture,  the  white  dress  she  invariably  wore, 
made  her  seem  almost  like  a  being  of  another  world ;  and 
when,  in  addition,  it  was  observed  that  '  her  conversation 
was  in  heaven,'  the  resemblance  was  complete." 

One  of  her  favorite  visits,  so  long  as  this  exercise  was  per- 


1841.]  ABUNDANT    LABORS.  275 

mittcd,  was  to  the  neigliboring  ''  Woodlands  Cemetery,'  the 
hallowed  spot  where  her  mortal  part  now  reposes  in  hope  of 
a  glorious  resurrection.  There  she  could  still  indulge  her 
taste  for  natural  beauty,  and  beneath  the  fine  old  forest  trees 
she  could  commune  with  the  God  in  whom  she  trusted,  and 
unite  her  praises  Avith  the  choral  harmonies  of  the  grove. 

While  availing  herself  of  even  her  moments  of  relaxation 
to  do  good  as  she  had  opportunity,  she  gave  much  of  her 
time,  in  her  own  apartment,  to  systematic  efforts  of  useful- 
ness. After  becoming  established  in  her  new  abode,  the  sur- 
prising energy  of  her  character,  constrained  by  the  love  of 
Christ,  was  manifested  by  steady,  continued  exertions,  such 
as  would  have  dismayed  many  persons  in  the  vigor  of  un- 
broken health.  A  class  of  boys  met  her  on  Tuesday  evening, 
and  the  influence  which  she  gained  over  characters,  quite 
beyond  the  control  of  every  one  else,  was  very  astonishing. 
She  taught  them  arithmetic,  writing,  &c.,  and  concluded  with 
Biblical  and  devotional  exercises.  The  offer  of  gratuitous 
instruction  secured  their  attention,  and  they  listened  respect- 
fully to  her  warnings  and  exhortations  because  they  felt  she 
was  so  much  their  friend.  On  Thursday  eveningi;  she  in- 
.structed  a  similar  class  of  girls.  On  Saturday  afternoon,  a 
large  number  of  children  gathered  around  her.  For  these 
lessons  she  made  careful  preparation,  and  by  anecdote  and 
narrative  sought  to  give  interest  to  the  truths  which  she 
Avould  impress  upon  their  minds.  For  the  young  she  che- 
rished a  most  affectionate  concern,  and  very  successful  was 
she  in  drawing  to  herself  the  youthful  heart.  She  exercised 
over  them  a  peculiar  influence,  a  sort  of  sacred  fascination, 
so  that  they  visited  her  chamber  with  delight,  and  even  th& 
youngest  listened  to  her  with  fixed  attention  and  earnest 
gaze.  Few  indeed,  young  or  old,  could  be  insensible  to  her 
sweetly  playful  manner  and  to  the  bright  smile  which  beamed 
upon  her  countenance.  By  one  of  her  welcome  little  visitants 
she  was  designated  as  "  the  happy  lady." 


276  THE    HOLY    SCRIPTURES.  [1841. 


To  Miss  L.  y.  B. 

"  Hamiltonyille,  June  23,  1841. 

"We  are  now  comfortably  settled  in  our  new  abode,  and  I  avail 
myself  of  the  quiet  of  a  rainy  day  to  give  you  a  renewed  assurance 
of  aifectionate  interest.  The  perusal  of  your  last  letter  gratified  me 
much,  dear  Lucie,  for  it  encouraged  the  hope  that  the  clouds  of  doubt 
and  despondency  which  have  interrupted  your  peace,  have  been  in 
some  degree  chased  away  by  the  Sun  of  righteousness;  and  if  it  is 
not  yet  clear  sunshine,  or  if  at  any  time  your  spiritual  sky  be  again 
overcast,  forget  not,  dear  Lucie,  that  the  Sun  as  really  shines  behind 
these  clouds,  as  though  you  could  behold  his  rays.  How  much  I 
love  that  sweet  passage,  '  For  God,  who  commanded  the  light  to 
shine  out  of  darkness,  hath  shined  in  our  hearts,  to  give  the  light  of 
the  knowledge  of  the  glory  of  God  in  the  face  of  Jesus  Christ.'  Let 
it  be  our  continual  supplication  that  His  mandate  in  reference  to  us 
may  be,  'Let  there  be  light;'  and  all  our  past  transgressions,  all  our 
corruptions  and  weakness,  will  not  deprive  us  of  the  bright  beams 
of  our  Father's  countenance.  And  has  He  not  long  since  sent  us, 
through  the  medium  of  His  Spirit,  a  measure  of  this  light,  dear 
Lucie;  enough  to  encourage  the  trust  that  we  shall  yet  behold  His 
unveiled  glory  ?  It  has  made  visible  our  sinfulness;  it  has  shown 
us  that  Jesus  is  our  only  hope ;  it  will  not  depart,  but  will  lead  us 
to  eternal  day.  '  Be  not  afraid,  only  believe.'  '  Faith  is  the  sub- 
stance of  things  hoped  for,  the  evidence  of  things  not  seen.'  Is  not 
that  a  beautiful  chapter  which  commences  with  these  words  ?  and 
how  instructive  the  illustrations  which  are  given  us  !  And  then,  after 
we  are  taught  what  faith  is,  and  hew  nobly  it  has  been  exemplified, 
how  animating  is  the  exhortation  contained  in  the  following  chapter, 
how  all-sufiicient  the  source  of  strength  and  consolation  to  which  we 
are  directed.  Dear  Lucie,  may  the  Word  of  God  ever  be  our  study 
and  delight !  Let  us  never  be  tempted  to  neglect  it  for  the  most 
interesting  of  human  productions;  for  thus  only  can  we  hope  to  ob- 
tain '  good  judgment  and  knowledge.'  May  we  be  enabled  to  exem- 
plify its  holy  principles,  to  learn  its  doctrines  and  to  plead  its  pro- 
mises; for,  remember,  the  promises  are  equally  inspired  with  the 
other  parts  of  this  sacred  volume,  and  it  is  equally  sinful  to  doubt 
them.     *     *     * 

"I  was  sadly  disappointed  when  I  learned  that  INIr.  Clark  had  not 
been  able  to  visit  you.  He  was  obliged  to  return  home  at  a  certain 
time,  and  regretted  that  He  could  not  see  you.     He  desired  me  to 


1841.]        THE    RIGHTEOUSNESS    OF    CHRIST.  277 

tell  you  this,  and  to  say  that  he  takes  pleasure  in  the  thought  that 
you  are  under  the  care  of  the  Great  Shepherd  of  Israel,  and  that 
you  can  go  to  Him  in  every  time  of  need.  He  is  very  desirous  that 
your  whole  dependence  should  be  upon  the  Saviour,  but  says  if  his 
counsel  will  give  you  comfort,  you  shall  have  it  with  pleasure,  but 
he  wishes  you  to  write  first  to  him.  He  will  probably  leave  the  city 
next  week  for  an  absence  of  two  months,  and  when  you  write,  you 
must  direct  your  letter  to  Fairfield,  Herkimer  Co.,  New  York.  I 
would  do  this  very  soon,  dear  Lucie,  for  I  have  found  his  letters  very 
profitable.     *     *     * 

"  I  should  feel  unspeakably  thankful  if  a  little  girl  of  twelve  years 
old,  for  whom  I  was  sponsor,  were  interested  in  these  things.  She 
was  seven  years  old  when  she  was  baptized,  and  my  heart  was  bowed 
down  with  a  sense  of  responsibility  when  I  stood  with  her  at  the 
chancel.  Her  father  is  irreligious,  indulgent  and  very  wealthy ;  so 
the  poor  child  has  many  disadvantages.  I  wish  you  would  pray  for 
her  daily.  I  have  had  her  here  for  two  or  three  days  and  have  felt 
great  love  for  her  soul."     *     *     * 

From  the  Rev.  John  A.   Clarh. 

"  July  n,  1841. 

"  My  dear  Friend :  —  It  is  very  rarely  the  case  that  I  take  up  my 
pen.  to  write  to  any  one  on  Sunday  ;  but  I  felt  it  would  be  profitable 
to  commune  a  few  moments  with  you  this  evening.  How  I  should 
like  to  sit  down  by  your  side  and  talk  to  you  of  the  things  which  re- 
late to  our  'common  salvation !'  I  have  just  been  reading  a  most  in- 
teresting sermon,  —  one  of  old  Ebenezer  Erskine's,  on  the  text,  'In 
thy  righteousness  shall  they  he  exalted.'  This  discourse  contains  the 
very  marrow  of  the  Gospel,  showing  how  the  believer  is  exalted  in 
the  imputed  righteousness  of  Christ.  This  is  a  delightful  theme  for 
meditation.  How  wonderful  it  is  that  the  glorious  Son  of  God  should 
exchange  places  with  his  people  —  should  take  on  Him  our  sin  and 
unrighteousness,  that  we  might  be  clothed  with  the  white  robe  of  His 
righteousness ;  that  '  he  should  be  made  sin  for  us,  who  knew  no 
sin,  that  we  might  be  made  the  righteousness  of  God  in  Him.' 

"  Mr.  Erskine  eloquently  describes  this  righteousness  as  a  perfect 
and  spotless  righteousness :  a  meritorious  righteousness  :  an  iucom- 
parahle  righteousness  :  a  soul-heautifying  and  adorning  righteous- 
ness (Is.  61  :  10)  :  an  everlasting  righteousness  :  a  soul-dignifying 
and  exalting  righteousness.  There  is  nothing  that  we  need  this 
side  of  Heaven,  or  in  Heaven,  that  is  :>ot  procured  and  made  over 

24 


278  FIRST    LETTER    TO    R.     SMITH.  [1841. 

to  us  through  this  blessed  gift  of  a  Saviour's  righteousness.  If  I 
am  covered  with  this,  I  feel  its  refreshinp;  influences.  It  is,  indeed, 
*  as  the  shadow  of  a  great  rock  in  a  weary  land.' 

"  If  you  will  permit  the  sudden  transition,  I  cannot  here  refrain 
from  saying  how  sorry  I  am  I  did  not  send  you  Romaine  before  I 
left  home.  I  had  fully  intended  to  do  this.  You  know  I  at  last 
went  away  rather  hurriedly.  I  hope  you  will  find  the  present  a 
profitable  summer  to  you  all.  I  was  going  to  express  the  hope,  also, 
that  your  health  might  be  greatly  improved ;  but  I  do  not  know 
whether  you  desire  to  be  placed  in  such  an  attitude  of  looking  back 
to  life.  How  prone  we  are  to  locate  all  our  plans  for  future  happi- 
ness in  this  life  I  But  it  is,  undoubtedly,  our  higher  wisdom  to  look 
a  little  further  forward,  and  expect  to  realize  a  very  happy  meeting 
in  Heaven.  Though  we  shall  there  he  JiUed  with  the  love  of  Jesus, 
still  we  shall  not  cease  to  love  our  friends.  If  ever  I  am  so  happy 
as  to  reach  Heaven,  I  shall  expect  to  meet  you  there,  and  have  my 
happiness  increased  by  the  long  and  delightful  interviews  that  we 
shall  enjoy  in  that  land,  whore  the  inhabitants  no  more  say,  'I  am 
sick,'  and  where  we  '  shall  be  as  the  angels  of  God.' 

First  letter  to  her  Cousin,  the  Rev.  Robert  Smith,  ivho  died,  a 
Missionary  in  Africa,  in  1855. 

"July  18,  1841. 

"I  shall  not  have  to  introduce  myself  as  a  new  acquaintance,  dear 
Robert,  as  my  letters  to  your  brother  were  always  intended  for  you 
also;  but  I  feel  inclined  to  commence  a  correspondence  with  you, 
since,  I  suppose,  you  are  too  diffident  to  write  the  first  letter  to  a 
relative  you  have  never  seen. 

"  From  my  childhood  I  have  been  accustomed  to  think  of  you 
and  your  dear  brother  with  peculiar  interest;  and  since  my  beloved 
mother's  removal  to  a  better  world,  this  interest  has  assumed  a 
deeper  character,  for  I  remember  the  sympathy  she  felt  for  her 
orphan  nephews  and  love  you  better  for  her  sake.  And  I  have 
also  learned  from  sad  experience  that  it  is,  indeed,  a  trial  to  be 
deprived  of  a  rnother's  love,  a  mother's  counsel  and  society;  and 
earnest  is  my  desire  that  we  may  ever  be  enabled  to  trust  and  obey 
the  orphan's  Friend  —  '  the  Father  of  the  fatherless.'  I  feel,  my 
dear  cousin,  that  He  is,  indeed,  ony  Father,  and  I  can  come  to  Him 
with  filial  confidence  to  make  known  my  wants,  to  obtain  the  gui- 
dance I  need  and  the  pardon  of  all  my  sins.  These  blessings  He 
freely  grants  me  for  Jesus'  sake,  and  they  are  freely  offered  to  all 


1841.]  AFFECTIONATE    FIDELITY.  279 

all  who  repent  and  believe.  Are  they  already  yours,  my  dear  cousin? 
Have  you  been  adopted  into  the  family  of  God  ?  If  so,  send  me  the 
delightful  news,  for  my  heart  would  be  filled  with  joy,  and  I  should 
know  that  you  possessed  a  blessed  refuge  from  the  trials  and  tempta- 
tions of  this  sinful  and  sorrowful  world.  *  Wherewithal  shall  a 
young  man  cleanse  his  way?  by  taking  heed  thereto  according  to 
Thy  word.'  Psalm  119  :  9.  Is  the  blessed  Bible  the  rule  of  your 
conduct?  Do  you  study  it  with  daily  prayer  that  you  may  under- 
stand its  doctrines,  obey  its  precepts,  and  be  enabled  by  faith  to 
appropriate  its  promises?  Are  you  living  for  God,  or  for  yourself? 
for  a  world  of  glory,  or  of  eternal  woe  ?  These  are  solemn  questions, 
and  yet  not  too  plain  ;  for  to  one  of  the  two  great  classes-  which 
divide  mankind  you  must  belong.  If  you  do  not  feel  that  yours  is 
the  safety  of  a  child  of  God,  will  you  not  pray  that  you  may  be 
'  born  again  ?' 

''  I  hope  you  will  read  this  letter  with  prayer,  for  it  is  prompted 
by  the  most  affectionate  interest  in  your  welfare,  and  written  by  one 
who  will  probably  meet  you,  for  the  first  time,  at  the  judgment-seat 
of  Christ. 

"  And  not  for  your  own  sake  only  do  I  desire  your  spiritual  safety, 
but  for  the  extension  of  our  Redeemer's  kingdom.  If  you  knew 
what  a  blessed  thing  it  is  to  know  a  Saviour's  love,  you  would  long 
to  win  others  to  His  service,  and  would  consider  it  a  privilege  to 
sound  the  gospel  trump  even  to  the  uttermost  end  of  the  earth,  if 
such  were  the  will  of  the  Lord  concerning  you.  Oh,  that  He  may 
take  you  into  His  hand,  and  make  you  just  what  He  would  have 

you  to  be !     The  remaining  page  of  my  letter  I  will  devote  to , 

as  I  wish  to  account  for  my  silence.  Will  you  not  write  to  me  very 
soon?  You  must  not  think  of  me  as  a  gloomy  cousin  who  is  fond 
of  lecturing,  but  as  a  very  affectionate  friend  who  feels  for  you  the 
interest  of  a  sister,  and  who  earnestly  desires  that  your  name  may  be 
written  in  '  the  Lamb's  book  of  life.'  " 

To  the  Rev.  J.  A.    Clark. 

"July  21,  1841. 
*  *  *  u  's^Q  were  all  glad  to  hear  from  you,  and  to  learn  that 
your  health  is  improving.  If  it  should  be  re-established,  I  shall 
feel  that  very  earnest  prayer  has  been  answered,  and  a  very  great 
blessing  conferred  upon  our  beloved  St.  Andrew's  and  your  friends. 
*  *  *  How  hallowed  are  the  associations  connected  with  that 
spot,  and  though  the  privileges  of  the  Sanctuary  are  cheerfully  relin- 


280  USES     OF     ADVERSITY.  [1841. 

quished  at  the  bidding  of  tlie  Lord,  I  remember,  with  increasing 
delight,  '  her  sweet  communion,  solemn  vows  and  hymns  of  love 
and  praise  ;'  and  more  than  ever  am  I  thankful  that  my  Heavenly 
Father  so  kindly  directed  my  steps  to  the  Episcopal  Church  ;  for 
my  judgment  approves  and  my  heart  loves  her  institutions.  I  find 
in  our  Liturgy  new  beauties,  and  rejoice  that  it  so  constantly  exhibits 
the  simple  truths  of  religion,  and  above  all,  the  blessed  doctrine  that 
Jesus  is  our  'all  in  all.'  Will  you  not  pray  that  I  may  have  new 
views  of  the  Saviour  ?  I  would  search  out  the  treasures  of  wisdom 
and  knowledge  which  are  hid  in  Him,  and  advance  more  rapidly  in 
divine  things.  Though  I  desire  to  feel  truly  thankful  for  the  spiri- 
tual light  which  has  been  given  me,  I  would  that  my  whole  soul 
were  irradiated  by  the  Sun  of  Righteousness.  My  friend  Lucie  re- 
marks in  one  of  her  letters,  'Nothing  but  Jesus,  as  fully  owned  and 
enjoyed  as  He  can  be,  can  satisfy  my  soul.'  He  has  been  to  me  a 
kind  and  merciful  Saviour,  and  I  feel  that  His  merits  alone  are  a 
sufficient  atonement  for  my  many,  many  sins,  and  that  His  Spirit 
only  can  sanctify  a  heart  so  prone  to  evil.  Therefore  I  would  give 
to  Him  my  best  affections,  and  earnestly  seek  to  attain  entire  con- 
formity to  His  image.     *     *     * 

"  jMy  very  pale  face  tells  me  that  I  should  be  ready  at  any  time 
for  a  summons  into  the  eternal  world,  though  I  do  not  know  that  I 
shall  not  much  longer  need  the  discipline  with  which  my  Heavenly 
Father  is  kindly  training  me  for  Heaven." 

From  the  Rev.  Dr.  Clarh  to  Miss  Susan  AUihone. 

"Fairfield,  Aug.  2,  1841. 
"  My  dear  Friend  :  —  Your  very  acceptable  favor  of  the  21st  ult. 
came  duly  to  hand.  It  was  very  kind  in  you,  in  your  feeble  state 
of  health,  to  have  written  me  so  long  a  letter;  and  I  very  highly 
appreciate  the  effort  it  must  have  cost  you.  The  thought  struck  me 
in  reading  it,  as  it  has  often  done  in  visiting  you,  that  this  long 
season  of  sickness  through  which  you  have  been  passing,  has,  through 
the  sanctifying  influences  of  the  Divine  Spirit,  been  the  means  of 
bringing  to  you  far  higher  and  more  numerous  foretastes  of  heavenly 
joy  than  you  possibly  could  have  had  in  the  possession  of  health. 
No  other  path  could  have  brought  ynu  into  so  many  positions  in 
which  the  promises  of  God,  and  His  faithfulness,  could  have  been 
so  fully  tested  —  could  have  so  effectually  taken  you  off  from  all 
human  dependencies,  and  led  you  to  such  simple  reliance  on  the 
Word  and  promises  of  your  Redeemer.    I  suppose  that  you  already 


1841.]  THE    GROUND    OF    HOPE.  281 

realize  this  so  far  now,  that  you  can  say,  even  with  special  reference 
to  all  your  days  of  pain  and  nights  of  restlessness,  ^  mercy  and  good- 
ness have  foUuiced  me  all  (he  days  of  my  life.'  My  prayer  for  you 
is  that  the  work  of  grace  may  be  carried  on  still  more  and  more,  till 
you  wear  the  perfect  image  of  your  Great  High  Priest,  who  ever 
liveth  to  intercede  for  you. 

"  I  sometimes  fear  that  the  Lord  means  to  lay  me  aside  altogether 
as  a  broken  and  useless  vessel.  Although  my  general  health  is,  in 
many  respects,  unusually  good,  my  hoarseness  still  continues  in  a 
very  unaccountable  manner.  Poor  Bishop  Griswold  has  preached 
this  seven  years  with  continual  hoarseness ;  but  I  fear  the  people 
would  hardly  endure  my  croaking  voice.  I  must  wait  and  see  what 
the  will  of  the  Lord  is.  I  hope  I  may  glorify  Him  in  the  fires,  and 
be  willing  that  His  will  should  be  fulfilled  in  me,  whether  it  be  in 
labors  more  abundant  for  the  advancement  of  His  kingdom,  or  in 
silence,  and  sickness  and  death.  I  have  cast  all  on  His  arm  and 
know  He  cannot  err. 

"  I  have  received  a  letter  from  Miss  ■ ,  which  I  almost  imme- 
diately answered.  I  had  scarcely  space  upon  a  single  sheet  in  say- 
ing to  her  what  I  desired.  I  fear  my  letter  was  scarcely  intelligible. 
I  am  satisfied  that  her  difficulty  is  that  of  a  legal  spirit.  She  does 
not  look  enough  to  Christ  and  His  finished  work;  but  is  inclined  to 
search  for  some  ground  of  acceptance  in  her  renewed  nature.  The 
work  which  the  Spirit  performs  in  us  is  only  the  commencement  of 
sanctification,  and  can  never  form  the  ground  upon  which  we  can 
rest  any  hopes  that  God  will,  on  this  account,  be  especially  pleased 
with  us.  We  are  complete  in  Christ.  God  is  pleased  with  us  only 
in  Him.  We  never  can  be  accepted  in  any  other  way  than  '■  in  the 
Beloved.'  Our  friend  wants  to  find  that  she  is  more  holy  and  less 
sinful  than  she  was,  and  then  she  would  be  happy.  Alas,  the 
deeper  we  look  into  our  depraved  hearts,  the  more  plainly  shall  we 
see  the  plague-spots  of  sin ;  and  we  must  go  to  Christ,  and  feel 
that  our  only  hope  is  in  Him.  I  asked  her  to  write  me  again. 
She  seems  to  have  a  most  lovely  spirit,  and  to  be  one  of  Christ's 
own  lambs.  I  have  no  doubt  He  will  lead  her  very  soon  into  the 
green  pastures  of  enjoyment.  The  fiirther  she  advances,  the  more 
she  will  learn  of  the  preciousness  of  Christ,  and  of  the  necessity  of 
depending  wholly  upon  Him." 

24^ 


282  EARLY    DEATH.  [1841. 

To  Mks  B. 

"Hamilton,  Sept.  17,  1841. 
"  Lucie,  dear,  I  have  been  wi.sliinp;  to  write  to  you  very  much,  but 
have  unwillingly  thus  lone  deferred  a  reply  to  your  last  letter;  and 
now,  though  sister  is  reading  aloud,  I  will  not  postpone  my  letter 
another  day.  One  reason  that  I  do  not  very  often  write  now  is  that 
I  ride  almost  every  day  around  the  village  in  a  wagon,  which  is 
drawn  by  a  boy,  and  is  made  with  springs.  I  make  calls  at  the 
doors  or  gates  of  our  friends'  houses,  and  often  stop  at  the  cottage 
doors,  and  talk  with  some  nice  old  woman  or  little  child.  How  much 
I  should  love  to  have  you  for  an  escort!  One  of  the  girls  generally 
goes  with  me,  and  sometimes  a  young  lady  of  the  village  with  whom 
we  have  become  very  intimate  —  the  daughter  of  the  Pastor  of  the 
Presbyterian  church.  She  lost  her  only  sister  a  few  months  since, 
and  deeply  feels  her  loss,  though  she  is  sweetly  sustained  by  the 
hopes  of  the  Gospel.  Her  name  was  Susan  ;  and  this  circumstance 
excites  the  interest  of  the  family  in  me.  We  receive  from  them 
almost  daily  proofs  of  kind  feeling  —  visits,  flowers,  fruit,  books,  &c. 
Oh,  that  my  end  may  be  like  the  departure  of  their  loved  one  !  Her 
father,  who  is  one  of  my  great  comforts,  tells  me  that  when  she  was 
dying  she  looked  upon  her  mother  and  sister,  who  were  standing 
around  her  bed,  and  then  fixed  her  eye  upon  his  with  a  most  seraphic 
expression,  while  a  sweet  smile  played  around  her  lips,  and  a  gentle 
sigh  released  her  spirit  from  the  fetters  of  mortality.  She  was  in 
her  nineteenth  year,  was  interesting,  and  all  around  her  was  bright; 
but  she  felt  that  it  was  better  to  go  to  Jesus  than  remain  in  this 
sinful  world.  If  her  treasure  had  been  here,  how  unwelcome  would 
have  been  the  summons  she  received  with  joy;  and  yet,  when  she 
gave  her  heart  to  the  Saviour,  she  ^id  not  know  that  it  would  come 
in  the  very  morning  of  her  days. 

"  We  heard  a  few  days  since  of  the  death  of  a  beautiful  and  lovely 
cousin  of  ours,  who  was  but  fifteen.  Oh,  that  parents  would  educate 
their  children  for  eternity  !  Oh,  that  we  all,  dear  Lucie,  would  strive 
to  '  so  live  that  we  may  not  fear  to  die.'  I  pray  for  you,  dear  Lucie, 
every  day,  and  heavy  would  be  my  heart  were  I  to  ever  learn  that 
you  cared  less  for  eternal  things.  I  grieve  that  so  many  clouds  should 
overcast  the  sky  of  your  spiritual  enjoyment,  hut  know  that  if  your 
eye  be  constantly  uplifted,  you  will  surely  at  last  behold  the  rising 
of  the  Sun  of  Righteousness.  Were  you  to  direct  your  gaze  else- 
where, dear  Lucie,  what  would  you  find  but  vexation  and  remorse? 
Oh  !  look  not  upon  the  perishing  things  of  earth,  for  you  have  expe- 


1841.]  CALL    TO    DEVOTEDNESS.  283 

rionced  their  inability  to  bless.  You  are  young  and  enthusiastic, 
and  temptation  is  on  every  side.  How  needful,  then,  that  you  should 
keep  close  to  the  Saviour's  side  !  And  yet  you  need  not  fear,  if  you 
will  only  look  to  Jesus.  The  same  blessed  Spirit  who  has  led  you 
thus  far,  will  never  grow  weary  nor  refuse  to  aid.  Read  that  sweet 
hymn,  '  Be  still  my  heart/  when  you  feel  tempted  to  despondency. 
In  the  book  sister  has  been  reading  there  is  a  remark  that  pleased 
me  much — that  'young  converts  imagine  that  there  is  a  great  work 
for  them  to  do,  instead  of  realizing  that  a  great  work  has  been  done 
for  them.'  In  one  sense,  we  have,  indeed,  a  great  work  to  do,  but 
the  ground  of  our  hope  is  the  finished  righteousness  of  Christ. 

'A  guilty,  weak,  and  helpless  worm, 

On  Thy  kind  arm  I  fall ; 
Be  Tiiou  my  strength  and  righteousness, 

My  Saviour  and  my  all.' 

"ll^/t.  —  This  afternoon  I  resume  my  letter,  which  I  have  scrib- 
bled so  much  that  I  should  feel  quite  ashamed,  if  writing  were  not 
so  great  an  exertion  that  I  feel  thankful  if  I  can  complete  an  epistle 
in  any  style.  You  say  that  I  do  not  tell  you  about  my  health,  and 
the  reason  has  been  that  I  have  had  so  much  to  say  of  other  things. 
Since  we  met,  my  feelings  have  varied  much  at  different  times,  but 
now  I  think  my  health  decidedly  improved.  I  have  less  pain  and 
sleep  better,  but  do  not  walk  any  more,  nor  at  all  anticipate  recovery. 
Nor  do  I  desire  it  any  more  than  when  I  was  apparently  on  the  con- 
fines of  eternity.  Pray  that  I  may  glorify  our  Father,  whatever  may 
be  the  dispensations  of  His  Providence.  We  talk  of  remaining  in 
the  country,  and  hope  we  shall  be  enabled  to  be  useful.  There  is 
no  time  for  indolence  and  selfishness,  while  surrounded  by  immortal 
beings  who  are  on  their  way  to  everlaHting  ruin. 

"  I  hope,  dear  Lucie,  you  will  be  just  such  a  Christian  as  Miss 

,  who  has  been  the  means  of  the  erection  of  a  church,  and  of 

much  good  in  many  ways.  When  you  feel  tempted  to  indulge  un- 
sanctified  feelings  and  pursuits,  ask  yourself  whether  you  are  willing 
to  exchange  for  them  the  holy  privilege  of  winning  souls  to  Christ  ? 
This  is  a  happiness  only  to  be  enjoyed  by  the  self  denying,  devoted 
disciple.  I  trust  I  need  not  remind  you  of  the  necessity  for  daily 
self-examination,  and  regular  seasons  of  prayer.  One  blessing  I 
wish  to  seek  with  greater  diligence  is,  an  increased  degree  of  spiritual 
light  upon  the  pages  of  the  Word  of  God.  In  proportion  to  our 
earnestness  will  be  our  success.     Oh,  my  beloved  Lucie,  I  long  for 


284  LETTERS.  [1841. 

your  growth  in  grace,  and  earnestly  pray  for  you  every  day.  Again 
I  must  say  to  you,  '  Look  to  Jesus,  trust  His  merits,  and  remember 
that  He  makes  intercession  for  you  at  the  right  hand  of  God.'  " 

To  the.  same. 

"Hamilton,  Oct.  19,  1841. 

*  *  *  ic\  have  earnestly  pra3'ed  that  the  bereavements  you 
have  sustained  may  be  deeply  sanctified  to  you  and  yours,  dear 
Lucie.  It  is  most  important  that  in  the  time  of  adversity  we  should 
inquire  wherefore  the  Lord  has  afflicted  us,  and  strive  to  learn  every 
lesson  His  wisdom  and  His  love  would  teach  us.  How  much  I  love 
that  promise,  'I  will  turn  my  hand  upon  thee,  and  will  purely  purge 
away  thy  dross,  and  take  away  all  thy  tin.'  It  were  better  to  endure 
the  refiner's  fire  than  be  cast  away  forever;  and  the  child  of  sorrow, 
if  he  be  the  child  of  God,  is  well  content  that  the  Lord  has  chosen 
him  in  the  furnace  of  affliction.  And  He  who  only  wounds  in  love 
kindly  mingles  with 'the  bitter  draught  such  heavenly  consolation, 
that  the  bitterness  of  the  cup  is  scarcely  realized.  And  yet  how 
much  of  agony  may  be  endured  while  the  heart  is  sweetly  stayed 
on  God  —  so  that  though  sufferings  abound,  consolations  yet  more 
abound. 

"  I  have  never  told  you,  dear  Lucie,  how  deeply  ray  heart  was 
wounded  by  my  mother's  loss,  nor  how  mercifully  '  the  balm  of 
Gilead'  bound  it  up,  and  healed  its  sorrows.  I  do  not  often  speak 
upon  this  subject,  and  when  I  write  to  you,  my  thoughts  are  chiefly 
engrossed  with  your  spiritual  interests.  But  this  I  will  say,  if  reli- 
gion secured  to  us  no  eternal  benefits,  but  were  only  of  A'alue  in  the 
hour  of  sorrow,  it  would  be  well  to  seek  it  with  all  our  hearts.  No 
words  can  express  its  value  then.  Oh,  how  sweetly  docs  the  God  of 
all  comfort  whisper  words  of  peace  !  How  gently  does  He  deal  with 
the  wounded  spirit !  Lucie,  I  adore,  I  magnify  His  holy  name,  for 
all  that  He  now  does  for  me,  for  He  never  forgets  to  pity  and  to 
bless.  And  yet  I  have  never  yielded  the  return  I  ought  for  so  much 
mercy.  My  heart  has  never  been  as  grateful  as  it  ought  to  be  for 
the  free  grace  which  drew  me  '  out  of  the  horrible  pit  and  the  miry 
clay,  and  set  my  feet  upon  a  rock.'  I  have  not  been  thankful  enough 
for  the  preventing  grace  which  God  has  given  me.  No  one  is  more 
unworthy  of  His  goodness,  and  it  is  not  upon  any  thing  that  I  do, 
or  ever  can  do,  that  I  depend  for  comfort  and  hope. 

"  I  do  not,  dear  Lucie,  know  how  to  understand  some  expressions 
in  your  last  letter,  and  wish  I  could  talk  with  you  about  them.     I 


1841.]  LETTERS.  285 

trust  these  feelings  are  the  result  of  a  desponding  mood,  rather  thaa 
of  a  correct  knowledge  of  the  state  of  your  affections.  I  sincerely 
hope  that  you  have  iwt  really  lost  your  first  love,  but  if  I  supposed 
this  the  case,  I  should  feel  that  duty  would  require  me  to  address  to 
you  words  of  solemn  warning.  I  should  ask  you  if  you  had  found 
any  thing  of  greater  value  than  the  blessing  of  God,  if  His  service 
had  become  wearisome,  and  if  you  were  willing,  almost  as  soon  as 
you  had  enlisted  under  the  banner  of  the  Cross,  to  increase  the  tri- 
umphs of  its  enemies  by  deserting  its  standard,  and  becoming  one 
of  them  ?  No,  my  poor  child,  I  do  not  believe  that  you  have  for- 
saken the  'fountain  of  living  waters,'  but  you  have  forgotten  that 
you  mnj  freely  drink,  and  are  thirsting  on  the  very  borders  of  the 
stream.  You  are  not  willing  to  take  God  at  His  word,  and  trust  the 
promises  of  a  loving  Saviour,  and  this  is  your  folly  and  your  sin, — 
not  that  you  do  not  desire  spiritual  blessings.  Oh,  that  the  Lord 
may  enable  you,  and  your  afflicted  cousin,  to  see  that  His  '  promises 
are  yea  and  amen  in  Christ  Jesus,'  to  give  Him  the  confidence  you 
would  not  fear  to  repose  in  an  earthly  friend.  Then,  dear  Lucie, 
would  your  doubts  be  changed  to  songs  of  praise,  and  every  Christian 
grace  would  grow  abundantly;  for  if  you  had  more  joy  in  the  Lord, 
you  would  not  be  so  easily  drawn  away  by  things  of  sense.  Pray 
for  strength  to  renounce  all  that  grieves  the  Spirit  of  our  God,  that 
there  may  be  room  in  your  heart  for  the  abundant  outpourings  of 
grace.     Look  to  Jesus,  and  He  will  bless  you  now  and  forever. 

"  You  must  not  suppose  that  my  health  is  wonderfully  improved, 
though  I  am  so  much  better.  I  do  not  walk  any  more  than  before. 
I  only  wish  to  live  for  eternity,  and  am  not  anxious  to  go  into  the 
world."     *     *     * 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

1842. 

Letters  to  Miss  B.  —  To  a  Young  Person  —  To  Rev.  J.  Howard  Smith  — 
Bishop  Moore's  Visit  —  Return  to  the  Sanotnary  —  Romaine  —  Con- 
firmation—  Visits  to  the  A'^estry-Room  —  Plan  for  a  Church  in  Bucks 
County  —  Letters  on  the  subject  —  Urgent  Letter  to  her  Cousin  R.  S. 

To  3Iiss  B. 

"January  2(1,  1842. 

''How  glad  I  should  be,  dear  Lucie,  could  I  have  a  long  talk  with 
you  this  afternoon,  but  as  this  cannot  be,  I  have  had  my  writing 
materials  brought  me,  and  with  an  earnest  prayer  that  I  may  be 
taught  what  to  say  to  you,  commence  the  letter  which  for  weeks 
past  I  have  been  wishing  to  send  you.  Since  I  last  wrote  to  you,  I 
have  made  a  visit  of  six  weeks  to  the  city,  and  was  much  refreshed 
with  the  intercourse  which  I  was  permitted  to  enjoy  with  my  Chris- 
tian friends,  and  by  the  reception  of  the  Communion,  which  our 
Pastor  twice  administered  to  me  while  there.  I  returned  four  weeks 
since  to  Hamiltonville,  for  I  preferred  the  retirement  of  our  country 
home,  and  trust  that  I  shall  be  enabled,  by  increased  dependence  on 
the  Saviour,  and  increased  diligence  in  the  means  of  grace  which  are 
still  granted  me,  to  escape  the  spiritual  danger  to  which  I  am  exposed 
by  the  privation  of  many  I  once  enjoyed. 

"  Oh,  that  we  may  have  grace  given  us,  dear  Lucie,  to  consecrate 
ourselves  more  unreservedly  to  the  service  of  our  Father  in  Heaven, 
DOW  that  the  commencement  of  a  New  Year  reminds  us  that  a  new 
page  of  the  Book  of  Life  has  been  turned  over,  and  that  it  should 
be  our  aim  that  fairer  characters  than  those  previously  transcribed 
should  fill  the  record.  Alas  !  alas  !  past  experience  teaches  us  that 
our  good  resolves  are  of  little  worth,  unless  formed  with  steadfast 
reliance  upon  '  Him  from  whom  all  good  counsels,  holy  desires,  and 
just  works  do  proceed.'  Our  past  discouragements  should  lead  us 
to  seek  His  aid  with  more  ardent  importunity,  rather  than  induce  us 
to  yield  to  the  temptation  of  our  wily  fie,  who  would  tempt  us  to 
Bin,  and  then  to  despair  of  pardon  and  ultimate  success.     Oh  !  Lucie, 

(286) 


1842.]  LETTERS.  28T 

dear,  why  do  you  any  longer  listen  to  his  suggestions  ?  Have  you 
not  heeded  them  too  long  ?  Have  they  not  deprived  you  of  the 
spiritual  light  which ^had  long  since  brightened  your  path,  had  you 
regarded  the  injunction  of  the  Almighty — '  This  is  my  beloved  Son, 
hear  Him'?  You  have  listened  to  the  'still,  small  voice'  which  has 
convinced  you  of  sin,  and  thankful  I  am  that  you  have  not  preferred 
the  loud  cry  of  earthly  pleasure.  You  have  felt  that  you  are  '  heavy 
laden/  but  have  been  unwilling  to  trust  your  Saviour's  promise  that 
He  'will  give  you  rest;'  and  thus  while  you  have  been  dreading 
presumption,  you  have  fearfully  incurred  its  charge  by  refusing  to 
take  God  at  His  word.  When,  my  poor  child,  will  you  cease  to  look 
to  your  own  heart  for  that  you  have  so  long  sought  in  vain  —  for 
that  you  will  never  find  there  ?  When  will  you  tell  me  —  '  I  have 
trusted  in  the  Lord,  and  am  helped'?  Just  when  you  read  this  part 
of  my  letter,  will  you  not  repair  to  the  mercy-seat  and  there  once 
again  give  your  heart  to  God  ?  Tell  Him  that  you  have  tried  to 
make  it  an  acceptable  offering  but  you  cannot,  and  now  you  bring  it 
to  Him  and  put  it  into  His  hand  to  mould  according  to  his  gracious 
will.  Tell  Him  you  come  in  the  name  of  Jesus  and  that  you  know 
He  will  not  cast  you  out,  and  you  will  not  let  Him  go  except  He 
bless  you.  Tell  Him  you  want  not  only  pardon  but  peace,  an  assu- 
rance of  acceptance  with  Him,  and  that  you  pray  for  the  very  best 
blessings  He  is  willing  to  give  you. 

'  My  soul,  ask  what  thou  wilt, 
Thou  canst  not  be  too  bold  ; 
Since  Ilis  own  blood  for  thee  He  's  spilt, 
AVhat  else  can  He  withhold  V 

"  You  think  if  I  could  see  your  heart  I  would  no  longer  feel 
encouraged  to  pray  for  you,  but  I  should  not  fear  such  a  result,  for 
my  hope  for  your  salvation  depends  upon  what  has  been  done  for 
you,  not  upon  your  attainments  in  holiness.  And  yet,  if  I  could 
take  this  survey,  I  doubt  not  that,  in  the  midst  of  much  corruption, 
I  should  find  a  sincere  desire  to  serve  God,  to  renounce  all  that 
grieves  His  Spirit.  For  notwithstanding  the  sad  accounts  you  give 
me,  I  have  never  doubted  that  a  work  of  grace  is  commenced  in 
your  heart,  and  that  you  might,  if  you  would,  rejoice  in  the  promises, 
and  receive  the  witness  of  the  Spirit  bearing  witness  with  your  spirit 
that  you  are  the  child  of  God.  Resolve  in  the  strength  of  the  Lord 
to  pursue  a  new  course,  to  return  grateful  thanks  for  the  grace  you 
have  received,  that  you  are  still  spared  to  seek  the  mercy  of  God 
and  can  read  His  holy  Word ;  and  let  the  air  you  breathe,  the  food 


288  LETTERS.  [1842. 

you  eat,  encourage  you  to  Relieve  that  the  same  merciful  Being  who 
sustains  your  natural  existence,  ■will  not  keep  from  you  the  bread  of 
life,  the  waters  of  salvation. 

*'  I  am  sorry  that  it  is  becoming  too  dark  to  write  to  you,  though 
I  love  to  welcome  the  sweet  season  of  twilight — *  to  spend  the  hours 
of  setting  day  in  humble,  grateful  prayer.'  "     *     *     * 

To  Dr.  Clark's  Son,  when  a  child. 

"  March,  1842. 

"  I  will  tell  you,  dear  J.,  the  reason  I  write  you  this  note.  I 
dreamed  a  few  nights  since  that  you  came  to  see  me,  and  that  I  felt 
great  love  for  your  soul.  I  cannot  remember  all  our  conversation, 
but  I  thought  I  persuaded  you  very  much  to  give  your  heart  to  the 
Saviour,  and  told  you  how  dreadful  it  would  be  should  our  Heavenly 
Father  take  away  from  you  the  strivings  of  His  Holy  Spirit.  Now 
if  I  could  see  you,  I  would  like  to  talk  with  you  upon  these  subjects, 
for  it  is  not  only  in  my  dreams  I  think  of  you,  my  dear  boy.  I  love 
you  very  much,  and  always  feel  desirous  that  those  I  love  should 
give  their  hearts  to  our  Heavenly  Father;  for  it  is  religion  alone  that 
can  make  us  safe  or  happy. 

"And  you  cannot  wonder  that  I  should  earnestly  wish  that  the 
only  son  of  my  beloved  Pastor  should  be  a  comfort  and  blessing  to 
his  parents.  Our  Heavenly  Father  has  seen  it  best  to  take  almost 
all  their  children  to  dwell  with  Him,  but  has  very  kindly  spared 
them  07ie.  little  hoi/,  who  is  now  old  enough  to  be  a  companion  for 
them  and  a  very  great  consolation.  I  know  they  love  the  baby  very 
much,  but  she  is  too  young  to  understand  these  things  and  to  pray 
for  a  new  heart.  You,  dear  J.,  a*e  quite  old  enough  to  be  a  Chris- 
tian, and  you  cannot  make  your  parents  happy  until  you  become 
one ;  for  they  would  suffer  more  if  you  were  to  grow  up  an  enemy 
of  God,  or  if  you  were  taken  away  unprepared,  than  they  have  done 
from  the  loss  of  all  their  other  children. 

"And  then,  you  know  too,  that  your  Father  in  Heaven  is  looking 
upon  you  with  loving-kindness,  and  has  given  His  only  Son  to  die 
for  your  sins,  and  that  He  is  willing  to  receive  you  at  once.  He 
says,  in  the  Bible,  <  My  son,  give  Me  thine  heart;'  and  I  hope  you 
will  say  to  Him,  '  My  Father,  thou  art  the  Guide  of  my  youth  !' 
I  do  not  write  to  you  because  I  think  I  can  tell  you  about  these 
things  as  well  as  your  father  and  mother,  but  I  wished  to  tell  my 
dream,  and  was  afraid  I  should  not  see  you  again  as  you  are  going 
away  so  soon. 


1842.]  LETTERS.  289 

"  I  shall  miss  your  dear  father  very  much,  for  he  often  comes  to 
see  me  and  talk  about  our  Saviour's  love,  and  I  love  him  as  one  of 
my  best  friends.  If  your  life  should  be  spared,  I  hope  you  will  fol- 
low his  example  and  take  delight  in  comforting  the  afflicted,  and  in 
telling  sinners  how  they  may  be  saved.  If  we  should  not  meet  each 
other  on  earth,  dear  J.,  I  trust  we  shall  dwell  together  in  a  world 
of  glory.  How  glad  I  should  be  to  welcome  you,  if  I  were  to  go 
there  first !" 

To  the  Rev.  J.  H.  S. 

"  Hamiltonville,  March  25,  1842. 

"  I  trust,  dear  Howard,  that  the  quiet  of  this  rainy  afternoon  will 
enable  me  to  assure  you  that  you  are  still  affectionately  remembered 
by  us,  and  that  we  were  glad  to  learn  that  you  had  safely  arrived  at 
L.  That  you  are  not  as  pleasantly  situated  as  you  hoped,  I  sincerely 
regret,  but  trust  you  will  lose  the  stranger  feeling,  which  must  at 
first  cause  every  new  residence  to  seem  gloomy  in  some  degree,  and 
it  is  my  earnest  hope  that  the  Lord  will  so  lift  up  the  light  of  His 
countenance  upon  you,  that  every  object  will  be  illumined  by  the 
sunshine  of  His  presence. 

"  I  have  daily  asked  for  you  this  blessing,  and  still  expect  that  it 
will  be  yours,  though  I  lament  that  you  have  not  ceased  to  be  sur- 
prised that  no  good  is  to  be  found  in  your  own  heart,  and  that  you 
do  not  look  from  yourself  to  Jesus,  who  says  to  you  so  kindly,  '  Be 
not  afraid,  only  believe ;  come  to  me,  and  I  will  give  you  rest.'  I 
believe  a  period  of  your  religious  history  is  approaching,  in  which 
you  will  review  your  present  feelings  as  the  result  of  an  imperfect 
apprehension  of  the  plan  of  salvation,  and  will  wonder  that  since  so 
ample  a  provision  has  been  made  for  your  spiritual  wants,  you  should 
ever  have  been  perplexed  with  doubt. 

''I  pursued  so  long  this  thorny  path,  my  dear  cousin,  that  I  am 
very  anxious  to  show  you  a  more  excellent  way.  It  \sfor  contrition, 
and  love  and  faith  that  you  must  come  to  Jesus,  not  with  them. 
Let  your  constant  prayer  be,  '  Lord,  increase  my  faith.' 

"  One  encouraging  thought  has  come  into  my  mind  since  I  com- 
menced this  letter,  dear  H.  You  know  that  my  desire,  when  I  for- 
merly wrote  to  you,  was  to  convince  you  of  the  supreme  importance 
of  religion  and  to  urge  you  to  seek  its  blessings.  I  know  that  your 
understanding  has  never  needed  conviction  upon  this  subject,  and 
that  your  heart  has  often  deeply  felt,  but  surely  the  Spirit  has 
taught  you  many  lessons  since  our  former  correspondence,  and  will, 
T  9.^^ 


290  LETTERS.  [1842. 

I  doubt  not,  'take  of  the  things  of  Christ,  and  show  them  unto 
you.' 

"  Two  remarks  you  have  made  prove  that  your  heart  is,  at  least  in 
some  degree,  under  right  influences.  You  have  no  desire  to  return 
to  worldly  pursuits,  since  you  have  learned  their  insufficiency,  and 
you  continue,  at  stated  seasons,  to  ask  your  Heavenly  Father's  bless- 
ing. It  is  our  great  Adversary  who  keeps  the  soul  in  spiritual  dark- 
ness, and  I  doubt  not  that  it  is  his  constant  aim  to  tempt  the  soul  to 
turn,  in  weariness  and  despair,  to  some  created  good ;  and  then,  if 
he  can  tempt  to  negligence  of  the  means  of  grace,  Alas  !  alas  !  for 
the  victim  of  his  wiles.  Oh,  my  cousin,  let  your  cry  be,  'I  will  not 
let  Thee  go,  except  Thou  bless  me  !'  Ask,  seek  and  knock,  remem- 
bering that  'the  kingdom  of  Heaven  suffereth  violence,  and  the  vio- 
lent take  it  by  force.' 

"I  was  pleased  with  a  remark  in  the  Diary  of  a  very  eminent 
Christian,  which  I  am  now  reading  with  much  interest.  '  Like 
David,  I  would  encourage  myself  in  the  Lord  my  God :  I  would 
praise  a  Triune  God  for  the  goodness  and  mercy  which  have  followed 
me  hitherto,  notwithstanding  all  my  wanderings,  sins  and  provoca- 
tions, assured  that  while  I  forsake  Him  not  iii  a  -way  of  duty,  He 
will  not  leave  nor  forsake  me  in  a  way  of  mercy.  No !  the  Lamb 
of  God  hath  made  reconciliation  for  iniquity,  and  in  Him  the  promises 
of  God  are  secure.' 

"Now,  in  reference  to  a  profession  of  religion,  I  think  if  you  have 
really  given  your  heart  to  God,  you  ought  to  confess  him  before  men, 
depending  not  iipon  your  feelings  but  resolved  to  go  forward  in  the 
path  of  duty.  If  you  do  not  feel  sure  that  the  offering  has  been 
made,  why  not  say  at  once,  '  Here,  Lord,  I  give  myself  away,  'tis  all 
that  I  can  do.' 

*  *  *  <' Thirty-five  were  confirmed  at  our  church  last  Sunday 
week.  "We  are  having  a  series  of  services  at  the  little  Episcopal 
church  in  this  village  during  Passion  week,  and  much  I  pray  that 
they  may  be  blessed.  On  Sunday  afternoon  I  received  the  Commu- 
nion, and  felt  that  I  could  rely  entirely  on  Jesus.  'Other  refuge 
have  I  none.' 

"I  am  quite  grieved  that  you  have  suffered  so  much  anxiety  about 
E.  I  hope,  like  Andrew,  you  will  bring  this  dear  brother  to  Jesus. 
I  am  glad  you  are  pleased  with  Dr.  and  Mrs.  J.,  and  hope  you  will 
derive  much  comfort  from  their  society  and  your  class  in  Sunday 
School.  I  shall  not  forget,  dear  Howard,  to  pray  that  the  love  of 
Christ  may  so  constrain  you  that  you  shall  make  constant  efibrt  for 


1842.]  BISHOP    MOORE.  291 

the  welfare  of  your  fellow-beings,  and  that  peace  may  dwell  in  your 
own  soul.  When  you  are  in  heaviness,  think  upon  God.  I  think 
upon  you  with  much  affection,  and  feel  for  you  a  sister's  sympathy 
and  interest." 

''April,  1842. — Mucli  lias  been  forgiven  me,  may  I  love 
much.  So  many  things  I  should  have  been  glad  to  record. 
Dear  Bishop  Moore's  visit  among  the  rest.  He  prayed  that 
when  my  pillow  refused  me  the  repose  I  sought,  I  might  rest 
upon  the  bosom  of  Jesus.  More  than  two  years  have  passed 
since  then.  Now  the  petitioner  is  in  heaven,  where  I  can 
realize  that  he  feels  at  home  indeed. 

"  Christians  have  been  very  kind  to  me  since  I  have  been 
sick  and  a  great  comfort.  During  the  early  part  of  the 
winter  I  saw  very  few,  with  the  exception  of  my  own  family. 
Last  Sunday,  I  went  in  my  wagon  to  the  colored  school  at 
the  Episcopal  church,  and  taught  a  few  boys.  This  was  the 
first  time  I  had  entered  the  sanctuary  during  the  last  two 
years  and  four  or  five  months.  I  should  have  loved  to  be 
there  alone.  Most  cheerfully  I  relinquish  the  privileges  of 
the  sanctuary,  since  it  is  my  Father's  will,  and  since  He 
blesses  me  so  much  in  the  position  in  which  He  has  placed 
me.  I  surely  ought  to  feel  that  I  have  abundant  cause  for 
thankfulness,  and  that  I  should  always  trust  the  promises, 
the  faithfulness  of  God." 

To  Miss  B. 

"May  2a,  1842.- 
*' I  have  been  awaiting  the  leadings  of  Providence  in  reference  to 
you,  my  darling  Lucie,  and  now  that  the  way  is  opened  for  the 
renewal  of  our  intercourse,  I  unhesitatingly  accede  to  your  proposi- 
tion. I  have  prayed  for  you  and  thought  of  you  with  even  increased 
affection,  and  have  never  for  one  moment  suspected  you  of  alienated 
feeling.  Earnest  is  my  desire  that  you  may  keep  close  to  the  Cross 
of  Jesus,  and  now  that  you  are  placed  in  a  new  position,  and  are  sur- 
rounded by  circumstances  which  will  greatly  influence  your  spiritual 
character,  I  trust  you  will  implicitly  follow  the  guidance  of  the 
'Shepherd  and  Bishop  of  souls/  and  that  the  Word  of  God  will 


292  WUITSUNDAY.  [1842. 

ever  be  a  '  lamp  unto  your  feet  and  a  light  unto  your  path.'  Then, 
dear  Lucie,  will  you  be  happy,  holy,  a  blessing  to  all. 

"  I  wish  you  could  have  been  with  us  on  Saturday,  when  our  dear 
Pastor  administered  to  us  the  blessed  Communion.  It  was  a  refresh- 
ing season.  Have  you  read  '  The  Table  of  the  Lord/  by  Miss  Fry? 
If  not,  I  would  like  you  to  get  it.     *     *     * 

"  I  send  you  a  letter  which  was  written  before  I  was  aware  of 
past  circumstances,  and  which  I  thought  I  would  not  then  destroy. 
I  wrote  it  with  much  prayer,  and  suppose  I  said  just  what  I  should 
say  again,  that  Jesus  is  an  all-sufficient  Friend.  If  my  letters  have 
ever  been  useful  to  you,  it  is  because  they  speak  of  Him.  And  so 
it  is  with  myself,  dear  Lucie ;  I  am  a  poor  sinner,  and  I  can  speak 
feelingly  of  the  love  of  Christ  because  He  is  my  Saviour.  I  have 
no  goodness  of  my  own,  nor  power  to  do  good. 

"I  would  not  write  so  carelessly  if  1  were  not  very  weak.  My 
health  is  more  delicate  this  spring,  and  I  am  very  pale.  I  always 
feel  that  I  am  in  the  Lord's  hand.  Pray  that  I  may  love  and  serve 
Him  better."     *     *     * 

'■'-May  Wtli.  —  Romaine  is  a  delightful  writer,  and  his 
'  Triumph  of  Faith'  is  truly  '  a  glorious  book.'  I  think  his 
and  Lcighton's  works  have  been  a  great  blessing  to  me. 

^^Whitsimda?/,  1842.  —  How  wonderfully  has  our  Father 
answered  the  prayers  we  have  oifered  for  this  little  church. 
I  do  thank  thee,  0  Lord,  that  thou  hast  not  said  to  the  seed 
of  Jacob,  '  Seek  ye  me  in  vain.'  Oh,  that  we  may  give  Thee 
no  rest  until  Thou  shalt  make  Jerusalem  a  praise  in  the 
earth.  Lord,  what  wilt  Thou  have  us  to  do  for  this  place  ? 
Show  us,  and  give  us  strength  to  perform  Thy  wull, 

"  To-day  there  is  a  confirmation  here.  But  a  few  disciples 
will  probably  consecrate  themselves  to  God,  but  I  expect  an 
abundant  harvest.  See  if  it  is  not  so,  and  then  to  God  be 
all  the  glory.  Dear  A.  is  to  be  confirmed,  and  is  now,  most 
probably,  kneeling  at  the  altar  of  the  Lord.  Dear  Saviour, 
bless  this  lamb  of  Thy  fold. 

"  Oh  !  do  Ave  not  need  to  pray  that  this  may  be  to  us  a 
Whitsunday  indeed  ?  Do  we  not  need  the  spirit  of  praise 
and  prayer  ?    0  Father,  '  teach  us  good  judgment  and  know- 


1842.]  RETURN     TO    THE     SANCTUARY.  293 

ledge,'  for  thy  Avork  is  before  us,  and  we  can  do  nothing 
without  Thee.  Oh,  make  us  humble,  very  humble  and  yet 
bold  in  Thy  service !  May  we  never  injure  Thy  cause  by 
injudicious  efforts,  and  yet  never  be  deterred  from  duty. 
Take  away  the  love  and  the  fear  of  man.  Ever  say  to  us, 
'  This  is  the  way,  walk  ye  in  it.'  For  Christ's  sake,  Avilt  Thou 
answer  these  petitions  ? 

'■'■June  IQtIi.  —  How  undeserving  I  am  of  such  blessed  pri- 
vileges, of  such  Christian  fellowship  as  I  am  permitted  to 
enjoy.  If  the  merits  of  Jesus  were  not  my  claim  to  every 
blessing,  I  should  not  dare  to  appropriate  one  promise,  one 
consolation. 

"Julj/  od,  Sunday.  —  I  have  been  reading  part  of  the 
Communion  Service  and  singing  the  94th  Hymn,  and  it 
always  warms  my  heart.  This  morning,  at  my  own  dear 
church,  and  at  the  little  sanctuary  here,  the  blessed  Commu- 
nion has  been  administered ;  and  I  feel  on  such  occasions, 
that  though  I  am  deprived  of  the  emblems  of  Christ's  sacri- 
fice, I  can  rest  upon  'the  oblation  of  Himself,'  once  offered,' 
with  joyful  confidence. 

^'^Aug.  11th,  Saturday  night.  —  Last  Sunday  I  Avas  per- 
mitted by  my  Father  in  Heaven  to  revisit  the  sanctuary,  and 
much  I  enjoyed  its  services,  after  an  absence  of  about  two 
years  and  ten  months.  The  service  was  inexpressibly  sweet, 
and  I  especially  enjoyed  the  lessons  from  the  blessed  Bible. 
The  sermon  was  very  good.  To-morrow,  if  it  be  the  Lord's 
will,  I  expect  to  go  again.  I  can  hear  perfectly  from  the 
vestry-room,  and  am  quite  retired  there. 

^'■Sunday  morning,  Aug.  28th. — Was  again  permitted  to 
go  to  the  vestry-room,  to  enjoy  the  services  of  the  church, 
and  above  all,  the  holy  Communion.  I  felt  that  it  ought, 
indeed,  to  be  a  sacrifice  of  thanksgiving,  for  numberless  have 
been  the  mercies  granted  me  since  I  last  enjoyed  this  privi- 
lege in  the  church.  Ought  I  not  to  trust  and  love  the  God 
of  my  salvation  ?     Ho  has  strengthened  me  upon  the  bed  of 

25* 


294  CHURCH    IN     BUCKS    COUNTY.  [1842. 

languishing,  refreshed  my  spirit  during  the  weary  hours  of 
the  night, — He  has  filled  many  hearts  with  thoughts  of  kind- 
ness, and  sent  His  people  to  speak  to  me  of  His  unchange- 
able love.  He  has  often  caused  me  so  to  love  the  souls  of 
the  impenitent,  that  my  lips  have  been  opened  to  tell  them 
of  their  danger  and  the  refuge  set  before  them ;  and  among 
the  best  of  His  blessings  have  been  the  reproofs  of  His  Spirit, 
and  grace  to  repent  of  the  many  sins  I  have  committed.  I 
feel  that  there  has  never  been  a  thought  in  my  heart,  or  an 
action  in  my  life,  which  does  not  need  the  cleansing  blood 
of  Jesus. 

'''■Sept.  4tli. — Bless  the  Lord,  0  my  soul,  and  forget  not 
the  blessings  He  has  given  thee  this  day.  To  say  how  much 
I  enjoyed  the  service  would  be  impossible.  In  it  I  had  com- 
munion with  the  Most  High,  and  my  soul  thirsted  for  more 
knowledge  of  Him. 

"  Can  I  not  testify  that  the  Lord  is  merciful  and  wise  ?  He 
knows,  and  I  deeply  feel,  that  I  merit  only  His  displeasure, 
and  yet  unnumbered  benefits,  sanctified  and  sustained  afilic- 
tions,  have  been  my  portion.  I  do  not,  and  in  His  strength 
I  will  not,  dread  future  suffering.  I  will  not  dwell  upon  the 
reflection  that  the  earthly  house  of  this  tabernacle,  shattered 
as  it  is,  may  suffer  many  a  rough  wind  ere  it  be  taken  down. 
It  may  be  thus,  but  my  Fatjier  will  not  forsake  me,  nor 
'  cause  His  child  a  needless  tear.'  " 

One  of  the  cherished  plans  of  Miss  Allibone  was  the  erection 
of  a  church  in  that  part  of  Bucks  County  in  which  she  had  spent 
much  of  her  time.  She  was  deeply  moved  by  the  spiritual 
destitution  and  indifference  to  the  things  which  accompany 
salvation,  which  she  there  observed.  Like  Him  who  had 
compassion  on  the  multitudes  that  were  scattered  as  sheep 
having  no  shepherd,  she  deeply  commiserated  neglected, 
wandering  souls.  Many  and  earnest  were  her  petitions  to 
the  Lord  of  the  harvest  that  he  would  send  forth  laborers 


1842.]  THE    PROPOSED     CnURCH.  295 

into  his  harvest,  and  in  these  supplications  this  uncared-for 
field  had  frequent  mention.  With  her  prayers  were  united 
her  alms,  and  the  purpose  was  formed,  by  divine  help,  of 
rearing  a  sanctuary  in  this  region,  and  sending  there  a  herald 
of  Christ's  Gospel.  With  characteristic  perseverance  she 
clung  to  this  purpose,  and  never  abandoned  the  hope  of  its 
final  success,  although  not  permitted  herself  to  see  it.  It 
would  be  inexcusable  want  of  faith  to  suppose  that  an  enter- 
prise, so  dear  to  her  heart,  and  so  often  commended  to  the 
chief  Shepherd  of  the  flock  in  her  fervent  prayers,  will  not 
be  eventually  accomplished.  No  fitter  monument  can  be 
erected  to  her  memory,  none  that  would  have  been  more 
desired  by  herself,  than  a  house  of  God,  rearing  its  modest 
front  amid  scenery  on  which  her  eye  had  so  often  gazed  with 
grateful  rapture,  and  holding  forth  the  word  of  life  to  a  popu- 
lation whom  she  so  greatly  longed  to  evangelize. 

The  following  letters  allude  to  this  plan,  the  first  contain- 
ing one  of  the  earliest  notices  of  it.  Should  profits  be  realized 
from  the  present  work,  they  will  be  applied  to  this  favorite 
object  of  Susan  Allibone's  heart : 

To  her  Sister. 

"  1839. 

"  Sister  S.  asks  me  if  she  is  '  discouraging'  in  reference  to  'Trinity 
Church/  Pineville,  Bucks  County.  Tell  her  '  no  /  for  sure  I  am, 
that  if  our  Heavenly  Father  sees  that  its  erection  will  be  conducive 
to  His  glory,  and  the  welfare  of  the  neglected  souls  for  whom  it  is 
designed,  He  will  overcome  every  obstacle,  and  our  prayers  will  at 
last  be  answered.  I  am  sure  that  Jesus,  seeing  these  sheep  without 
a  shepherd,  is  moved  with  compassion  toward  them,  and  will  in  some 
manner  secure  to  them  guidance  in  the  way  of  Peace. 

"  If  this  object  be  not  effected  before  my  death,  I  hope  I  shall  be 
able  in  my  last  moments  to  commend  it  to  your  care.  Perhaps  W. 
or  F.  may  one  day  labor  in  this  field,  though  it  is  quite  as  likely  they 
will  proclaim  the  Gospel  aiuong  the  heathen,  fur  I  trust  they  will 
never  learn  this  modern  system  of  Gospel  economy  which  does  not 
recognise  the  principle,  '  There  is  that  scattereth  and  yet  increaseth ; 
and  there  is  that  withholdeth  more  than  is  meet,  but  it  tendeth  to 


296  CHRISTIAN    SYMTATHY.  [1841. 

poverty.'  Let  us  send  the  snund  of  salvation  to  'the  uttermost  ends 
of  the  earth,'  and  it  will  echo  back  to  our  own  land,  and  then  'all 
shall  know  the  Lord,  from  the  least  unto  the  greatest." 

To  Miss   T. 

"July  30,  1841. 

"  I  have  often  wished  to  answer  your  truly  refreshing  letter,  my 
dear  Miss  T.,  but  feel  very  sure  that  you  have  not  suspected  me  of 
neglect,  since  you  are  aware  that  it  is  only  at  intervals  that  I  am  able 
to  commune  with  my  absent  friends. 

You  ask  me  for  my  prayers,  and  whilst  in  compliance  with  your 
request  I  implore  for  you  our  Heavenly  Father's  blessing,  I  forget 
not  to  thank  Him  that  He  has  inclined  your  heart  to  labor  in  His 
vineyard,  and  I  would  bid  you  '  God  speed,'  my  dear  Christian  friend, 
in  every  effort  to  induce  those  around  you  to  participate  in  the  bless- 
ings you  have  received.  May  the  God  of  grace  enable  you  to  so 
adorn  the  religion  you  profess,  that  all  around  you  shall  acknowledge 
its  sanctifying  influences  —  so  boldly  and  yet  so  meekly  to  urge  its 
claims,  that  they  cannot  resist  your  entreaties.  I  trust  many  thanks- 
givings will  ascend  from  your  joyful  heart  for  the  conversion  of  those 
who  are  now  strangers  to  true  peace.  Oh,  that  God  would  give  us 
a  spirit  of  wrestling  supplication,  of  holy  importunity,  so  that  we 
may  '  give  Him  no  rest  till  He  establish,  and  till  He  make  Jerusa- 
lem a  praise  in  the  earth.'  My  heart  is  sad  because  /realize  so  little 
of  this  heaven-born  ardor.  Oh  !  pray  that  I  may  be  granted  it  more 
and  more.  Why  do  we  not  '  yearn  in  the  bowels  of  Christ  Jesus* 
over  those  who  are  on  the  brink  of  perdition  ?  Why  are  not  our 
most  earnest  prayers  more  earnest,  our  most  faithful  efforts  more 
faithful?  I  have  often  prayed  that«God  would  make  me  really  fed 
that  those  who  know  Him  not  are  going  down  to  eternal  ruin,  and 
help  me  so  to  act.  You  speak  of  your  responsibilities,  and  I  do  not 
wonder  that  your  insufficiency  is  ever  before  you  ;  for,  as  you  remark, 
the  eternal  destiny  of  many  will  be  influenced  by  your  actions.  But 
is  it  not  well  that  you  should  ever  feel  that  the  work  before  you  re- 
quires the  aid  of  the  Most  High,  for  were  your  own  strength,  your 
own  influence  in  any  degree  your  dependence,  most  certain  would  be 
your  failure,  and  your  Heavenly  Father  would  have  you  to  come  to 
Him  for  help,  that  you  may  give  to  Him  alone  the  glory  of  success. 

'  'Tis  He  that  works  to  will, 
^Tis  lie  that  works  to  do  ; 
His  is  the  power  by  which  we  act, 
His  bo  the  glory  too.' 


1842.]  HOPEFULNESS.  297 

If  in  the  strength  of  the  Lord  j'ou  hibor  on,  you  will  be,  I  doubt  not, 
the  means  of  the  conversion  of  many  souls,  and  will  cause  those  who 
fear  Him  to  be  glad  when  they  see  you.  May  you  ever,  with  deep 
humility,  burning  zeal  and  an  abundant  measure  of  spiritual  joy, 
*  press  towards  the  mark.' 

"And  now  I  must  congratulate  you  upon  the  encouragement  your 
efforts  to  build  your  church  have  received.  I  do  not  wonder  that 
your  faith  is  strengthened,  and  your  letter  cheers  my  heart  too  in 
reference  to  a  plan  of  the  same  kind  which  has  occupied  many  of 
my  thoughts.  I  have  a  married  sister  who  resides  about  twenty- 
three  or  four  miles  from  P.,  in  a  neighborhood  that  greatly  requires 
more  active  effort.  I  have  been  accustomed  to  pass  some  weeks  of 
every  summer  with  my  sister,  and  I  have  been  often  grieved  by  the 
ignorance  of  the  children  of  this  neighborhood,  and  the  indifference 
of  their  parents  to  sacred  things.  I  have  been  endeavoring  to  raise 
funds  for  the  erection  of  a  little  church  this  long  time  past,  but  as 
there  is  no  one  in  the  neighborhood  to  encourage  the  effort,  my 
attempt  is  considered  rather  enthusiastic.  I  believe  my  desire  will 
be  some  day  accomplished,  although  a  deposit  of  rather  more  than 
180  in  bank,  and  the  promise  of  $70  when  the  building  shall  be 
commenced,  is  all  the  encouragement  presented  to  the  eye  of  sense. 
You  will  pray,  I  feel  assured,  that  more  zeal  maybe  given  me  in  this 
good  work,  and  whatever  success  may  please  the  Lord.  Oh,  that  the 
silver  and  gold  which  are  devoted  to  fashion  and  folly  were  poured 
into  His  treasury !     *     *     * 

"  I  wish  you  would  sometimes  pray  for  a  little  girl  twelve  or  thir- 
teen years  old,  for  whom  I  was  sponsor  about  five  years  since.  I 
think  baptized  children  should  be  looked  upon  as  beings  wholly  con- 
secrated to  the  Lord,  and  that  those  who  have  stood  with  them  at 
the  chancel  should  remember  that  they  must  also  meet  them  at  the 
judgment-seat."     *     *     * 

To  Miss  B. 

"  Hamiltonville,  Sept.  15,  1842. 
"  My  darling  Lucie :  —  I  was  delighted  to  receive  your  welcome  let- 
ter, and  almost  felt,  after  its  perusal,  as  though  I  had  enjoyed  a  long 
talk  with  you.  I  had  wished  for  you  very,  very  often,  and  if  you  be 
at  any  time  permitted  to  visit  me,  should  be  truly  delighted  to  wel- 
come you.  I  still  fervently  pray  for  you,  and  in  your  letter  I  observe 
an  answer  to  me  of  my  petitions ;  for  I  had  asked  our  Heavenly 
Father  to  grant  you  the  privilege  of  Christian  intercourse  and  coun- 


298  EFFOETS    TO    DO     GOOD.  [1842. 

sol,  and  I  am  thankful  to  learn  that  you  enjoy  it.  T  am  glad,  too, 
that  the  chamber  of  sanctified  sickness  is  your  resort,  for  I  doubt  not 
that  your  visits  give  consolation,  and  are  beneficial  to  yourself. 

"If  you  wish  to  be  happy,  dear  Liicie,  always  be  engaged  in  good 
works  ;  not  that  I  would  have  you  depend  upon  them  for  acceptance 
with  God,  or  glory  in  any  thing  but  the  Cross  of  Christ,  but  they 
have  a  most  healthful  influence  upon  the  mind.  In  striving  to  alle- 
viate the  sorrows  of  others,  we  forget  our  own.     *     *     * 

''  I  am  often  thankful  that  our  Heavenly  Father  brought  us  hero. 
I  wish  I  could  tell  you  how  much  we  have  to  interest  us.  The  girls 
teach  Sunday  School  three  times  a  day,  and  the  schools  are  very 
flourishing.  I  never  saw  children  more  willing  to  receive  instruction, 
or  more  afi'ectionate.  I  wish  you,  dear  Lucie,  to  pray  for  my  Satur- 
day afternoon  school.  It  is  interesting  to  me  beyond  expression,  and 
I  am  so  weak  that  I  think  it  is  probable  I  shall  soon  be  obliged  to 
give  it  up.  On  Friday  afternoon  we  have  a  Society  for  the  little 
church,  of  which  I  have,  perhaps,  spoken  to  you.  I  speak  as  though 
it  already  existed,  for  with  '  the  eye  of  faith'  I  can  see  it.  It  is  to 
be  in  the  neighborhood  of  Wrightstown,  Bucks  County,  not  far  from 
my  sister's  residence.  I  have  deplored  the  spiritual  wants  of  the 
people,  and  determined  long  since  to  try  to  raise  money  to  build  a 
Church  there.  They  are  very  ignorant  of  our  Church,  and  have  no 
places  of  worship  but  one  Orthodox  Friend,  and  one  Hicksite  meet- 
ing-house, no  Sunday  School,  and  the  children  know  so  little  of  our 
blessed  Saviour,  that  my  heart  is  sad  when  I  think  of  them.  I 
have  succeeded  in  raising  a  hundred  dollars,  and  seventy-five  have 
been  left  in  a  will  for  this  purpose.  Before  Christmas  our  Society 
will  probably  have  a  sale.  I  want  you  to  pray  about  these  things. 
I  know  you  love  me,  and  will  be  willing  to  carry  to  the  Throne  of 
Grace  the  darling  objects  of  my  heart.     *     *     * 

"I  am  very  pale  and  weak;  this  is  all  I  know  of  my  health.  'To 
depart  and  be  with  Christ  is  far  better;'  but  to  quote  your  quotation, 
I  would  say,  'Lord!  when  Thoit  wilt.'  I  am  rejoicing  in  Jesus, 
poor  sinner  that  I  am. 

"  Will  you  believe  that  I  have  spent  four  Sunday  mornings  in  the 
vestry-room  of  the  village  Church,  where  I  could  hear  the  services 
of  our  own  dear  Church  ?  '  I  prize  her  holy  ways.'  I  was  drawn 
over  in  my  wagon,  and  lifted  into  the  vestry-room. 

"  Our  dear  Pastor  was  here  the  other  day.  We  ought  to  pray 
much  for  him. 

"  My  own  darling  Lucie,  may  God  give  you  grace  to  helieve,  to 


1842.]  LETTERS.  299 

jyray,  to  praise,  to  icatch,  to  lahor,  to  rejoice.     Go  to  Jesus  with 
every  care,  and  ask  Him  to  bless  jour  faithful  friend.  S. 

"  Feb.  23,  1842. 
<'  To  tell  you  of  all  the  causes  which  have  so  long  deprived  me  of 
the  pleasure  of  intercourse  with  you,  would  occupy  more  space  than 
I  am  willing  to  devote  to  an  opoloyij,  and  when  I  assure  you  that  my 
delay  has  been  most  involuntary,  and  that  it  has  been  ray  almost 
daily  desire  to  write  to  you,  the  charge  of  intentional  neglect  will  not 
be  urged  against  me.  I  really  love  to  write  to  my  friends,  and  feel 
thankful  that  I  am  sometimes  strong  enough  to  thus  indulge  myself, 
and  am  always  rejoiced  to  receive  from  iheni  a  message  of  Christian 
remembrance.  Do  not  forget  this  when  you  are  summing  up  your 
epistolary  debts,  and  allow  me  to  be  one  of  your  most  urgent 
creditors. 

"  Your  last  letter  I  read  with  great  delight,  and  was  indeed  encou- 
raged to  trust  that  the  little  church  in  whose  erection  /feel  so  much 
interest  will  ere  long  raise  its  spire,  also — a  monument  of  the  wil- 
lingness of  God  to  answer  prayer  and  bless  the  efforts  of  His  chil- 
dren. We  have  at  our  house  a  very  interesting  little  Sewing  Society 
for  its  benefit.  E.'s  Sunday  School  girls  are  among  its  members,  and 
as  several  of  them  have  recently  become  quite  serious,  I  would  com- 
mend them  to  your  earnest  prayers.  They  are  exposed  to  the  tempt- 
ations of  fashionable  life,  and  none  of  them,  I  believe,  with  but  one 
exception,  have  pious  pax'ents. 

"  Oh  !  I  do  wish  you  would  pray  with  holy  earnestness  that  we 
may  do  for  this  village  all  that  our  Father  will  bless.  There  is  work 
enough  for  many  laborers,  and  we  have  but  few.  A  regular  system 
of  tract  distribution,  commenced  last  summer,  is  doing  much  good. 
The  Sunday  Schools  are  well  attended.  One  for  colored  people, 
which  was  established  about  six  weeks  since,  is  progressing  wonder- 
fully, and  the  pupils  are  remarkably  attentive  and  respectful.     *     * 

"  I  do  desire  the  privilege  of  laboring  more  for  the  cause  of  Christ 
than  I  have  done,  for  I  have  been  very  unfaithful.  I  do  not  think 
our  friends  are  good  judges  of  our  efforts  for  the  extension  of  truth. 
They  see  what  we  do,  and  call  us  very  faithful,  but  they  do  not  know 
how  many  opportunities  of  usefulness  have  been  neglected,  how  much 
more  we  might  have  done,  had  we  at  all  times  '  a  spirit  still  pre- 
pared, watching  unto  prayer.'  Even  had  we  neglected  but  one  soul, 
it  would  be  enough  to  destroy  all  self-complacency  forever.  Oh,  that 
we  may  be  delivered  from  blood-guiltiness  I"     *     *     * 


300  PENITENTIAL     SORROW.  [1842. 

"  Sept.  17tli,  Sunday. — A  peaceful,  quiet  day  has  refreshed 
my  spirit,  and  though  I  have  been  too  sick  to  revisit  the  ves- 
try-room, I  have  been  quite  as  happy  at  home.  There  have 
been  few  spiritual  gifts  conferred  upon  mc  during  my  sick- 
ness which  I  have  valued  more  than  the  entire  willingness  I 
have  felt  to  relinquish  the  privileges  of  the  sanctuary,  at  the 
bidding  of  the  Lord,  and  oh !  how  kind  He  has  been  to  me 
in  the  solitude  of  my  chamber  ! 

To  the  Rrv.  R.  Smith. 

"Oct.  3,  1842. 

"  E.  has  recently  received  a  letter  from  your  brother,  in  which  he 
gives  us  the  deligbtful  news  that  he  has  become  a  member  of  the 
Church.  His  mind  was  much  occupied  with  religious  subjects  when 
he  was  with  us,  and  the  depression  of  spirits  to  which  you  allude 
was  the  result  of  a  deep  conviction  of  sinfulness,  while  his  faith  was 
not  strong  enough  to  take  hold  of  the  promises  of  the  Gospel.  I 
think  it  has  increased,  and  that  he  now  looks  from  himself  more  than 
formerly  to  '  the  Lamb  of  God  which  taketh  away  the  sin  of  the 
world.'  Religion  is  not  calculated  to  fill  the  mind  with  gloom,  for 
'  her  ways  are  ways  of  pleasantness,  and  all  her  paths  are  peace.'  But 
when  the  soul  is  awakened  from  its  slumber,  and  begins  to  realize  its 
awful  danger,  it  is  not  wonderful  that,  until  the  burden  of  sin  is  cast 
at  the  foot  of  the  Cross,  it  should  be  a  weight  too  heavy  to  be  borne. 
Let  us  pray  for  much  of  this  godly  sorrow  which  worketh  repentance 
not  to  be  repented  of,  for  we  have  deeply  sinned  against  a  God  of 
infinite  love. 

"  I  love  to  think  of  the  character  of  God.  He  is  a  Being  so  holy, 
so  wise  and  so  merciful,  that  lie  is  indeed  worthy  of  all  our  praise. 
As  He  reveals  Himself  in  the  person  of  Jesus  Christ  we  can  best 
understand  His  attributes,  for  in  His  Cross  'mercy  and  truth  are 
met  together,  righteousness  and  peace  have  kissed  each  other.' 

"  Dear  Robert,  when  will  you  come  to  this  blessed  Saviour  ?  Are 
you  not  '  weary  and  heavy  laden  ?'  Oh,  then,  come  to  Him  for  rest. 
His  blood  will  wash  away  your  sins.  His  grace  will  overcome  the  cor- 
ruption of  your  nature,  His  strength  enable  you  to  resist  the  storms 
of  hfe,  and  His  consolations  sustain  your  spirit  in  every  hour  of  dis- 
tress. 

"  You  may  say  that  you  do  not  feel  as  you  ought,  and  therefore 
cannot  come  to  Jesus.     Well,  come  to  Him  just  as  you  arc.     He 


1842.]  A     SUCCESSFUL     APPEAL.  801 

came  to  give  'repentance,'  as  well  as  'remission  of  sins.'  My  dear 
cousin,  I  must  not  only  jn'rstcac/e  you  to  become  a  disciple  of  Christ, 
but  I  must  faithfully  ivarn  you  of  your  danger  while  you  stay  away 
from  Ilim;  for  we  must  one  daystand  together  at  the  judgment-seat, 
and  if  I  were  to  see  you  among  those  upon  whose  heads  will  descend 
the  wrath  of  the  Lamb,  should  I  not  wish  that  I  had  done  all  I  eould 
to  win  you  to  my  blessed  Saviour  ?  Are  you  willing  to  lie  down 
and  to  rise  up  with  the  wrath  of  God  abiding  on  you  ?  Are  you 
willing  to  be  His  enemy,  and  to  expend  upon  the  trifles  of  earth  the 
energies  which  should  be  consecrated  to  His  service  ?  And  yet,  if 
unconverted,  this  is  so.  Oh !  do  pray  earnestly  and  perseveringly 
for  the  Holy  Spirit's  aid.  Never  doubt,  never  despair,  but  pray 
for  the  promises  of  the  Bible.  Do  you  read  the  Bible  daily,  and 
with  prayer,  and  do  you  study  it  a  great  deal  ?  /keep  it  always  near 
me  upon  my  stand,  and  love  it  more  and  more. 

"I  have  often  indulged  the  hope  that  you  and  Howard  will  be 
blessings  to  your  fellow-creatures.  Your  brother  has  found  himself 
a  home  in  the  sanctuary,  friends  among  the  disciples  of  Jesus,  and 
is  laboring  to  win  to  the  Saviour  some  little  children  of  the  Sunday 
School.  I  expect  for  him  much  happiness.  My  dear  cousin,  are 
you  willing  to  be  left  alone  ?  Will  you  not  say  to  your  only  bro- 
ther, '  Thy  people  shall  be  my  people,  and  thy  God  my  God.'  But 
remember  God's  Spirit  will  not  'always  strive,'  '  jjozt;  is  the  accepted 
time.' 

"  Have  you  read  Henry  Martyn's  Life?  I  should  like  to  sec  you 
also  a  herald  of  the  Cross.  Have  you  a  Prayer-Book  ?  Some  of  the 
prayers  might  be  useful,  and  it  contains  sweet  sacred  poetry.  Where 
do  you  go  to  Church  ?  I  trust  you  endeavor  to  keep  holy  the  Sab- 
bath, and  that  you  do  not  frequent  places  where  dancing,  cards,  &c., 
are  used.  We  should  be  very  glad  to  have  your  name  for  the  Tem- 
perance Book.  You  must  not  think  I  dictate,  for  I  write  to  you  as 
to  a  brother,  and  I  suspect  no  one  but  your  own  brother  feels  more 
interest  in  you.  Write  to  me  very  soon,  and  tell  me  that  you  have 
given  your  heart  to  Jesus.     I  pray  for  you  every  day."     *     *     * 

'■'■  Nov.  15th.  —  The  Lord  has  been  very  merciful  to  some 
of  those  for  whose  salvation  we  have  prayed,  and  I  see  indi- 
cations of  the  Spirit's  work  in  other  hearts.  My  boys  to- 
night were  very  attentive,  and  I  think  J.  B.  and  Q.  L.  are  in 
some  degree  under  serious  impressions.     0  my  Father,  teach 

26 


302  LABORS    BLESSED.  [1842. 

■what  I  shall  do  for  them  !  W.  C.  increases  in  spiritual  in- 
terest. Some  of  his  remarks  are  very  encouraging.  He  said 
to  me  one  day,  '  Sometimes,  on  Saturday  afternoon,  when 
school  is  out,  I  want  you  so  much  to  talk  to  me  about  giving 
my  heart  to  God,  that  I  feel  as  if  I  could  not  go  out  of  the 
room,  and  as  if  I  should  burst  out  crying.'  He  says  people 
think  he  is  good,  but  they  do  not  know  the  wickedness  of  his 
heart.  He  wishes  to  be  a  missionary,  and  I  have  bright  hopes 
for  the  dear  boy.  These  feelings  have  continued  many  weeks. 
I  asked  him,  last  Saturday,  how  he  spent  his  evenings.  He 
said,  sometimes  in  his  room,  praying. 

"  P.  A.  H.  seems  to  have  passed  from  death  unto  life.  Last 
Sunday  I  was  again  at  the  vestry-room,  and  could  distinctly 
hear  the  sweet  baptismal  service,  a  blessing  I  never  expected 
to  enjoy.  "When  P.  A.  and  dear  A.  were  called  to  the  chan- 
cel, I  could  have  almost  praised  God  aloud,  and  my  heart 
yearned  over  the  immortal  beings  who  were  in  the  church.  I 
prayed  with  many  tears  for  my  scholars  and  E.'s,  and  the 
many  young  persons  whom  I  knew  were  present. 

"  Last  Friday  my  own  dear  Pastor  administered  to  me  the 
Communion,  and  it  was  a  blessing  to  me.  Dear  Lucie  B. 
came  just  as  the  service  was  concluded,  and  remained  until 
Monday.     We  spoke  much  together  of  eternal  things." 

To  the  Rev.  J.  A.    Clark. 

"Not.  1G,  1842. 

''  I  think  your  heart  will  be  cheered,  my  much-loved  Pastor,  by 
the  perusal  of  this  letter  [enclosed]  from  our  cousin  who  called  upon 
you  last  winter  to  solicit  spiritual  counsel.  Your  letter  to  Mr.  J. 
secured  for  H.  his  sympathy  and  faithful  efforts,  and  he  spoke  of 
them,  in  his  letters,  with  gratitude,  although  he  was  unable  for  a 
lono-  time  to  appropriate  the  consolations  of  the  Gospel. 

"  We  learned,  a  month  or  two  since,  that  he  had  joined  the 
Church,  and  his  last  letter  conveys  to  us  still  better  tidings. 

"  Though  we  never  met  until  last  fall,  we  have  corresponded  for 
years,  and  it  has  been  my  oft-repeated  prayer  that  this  orphan  cousin 
and  his  only  brother  might  be  specially  set  apart  for  the  service  of 


1842.]  A    PEACEFUL    DETARTURE.  303 

God  —  that  if  it  were  His  good  pleasure  they  might  'say  among  the 
heathen  that  the  Lord  reigncth/  Aid  us  in  returning  hearty  thanks 
to  our  merciful  Father  in  Heaven,  who  '  loveth  the  stranger/  and 
pitieth  the  orphan,  kindly  vouchsafing  him  the  spirit  of  adoption, 
whereby  he  can  call  God  Father.  Is  not  this  a  blessed  relationship  ? 
It  seems  wonderful  that  one  so  unworthy  as  /should  enjoy  it,  and 
yet  I  feel  that  I  may 

'  With  blest  assurance  claim 
A  portion  so  divine.' 

"Your  recent  visit,  brief  as  it  was,  refreshed  me  greatly,  and  your 
remark  that  the  best  way  to  do  good  to  others  is  to  take  care  of  our 
own  souls,  I  have  thought  of  very  often.  Oh  !  that  God  will  give 
me  grace  thus  to  prove  my  zeal  for  His  glory,  and  my  love  for  the 
souls  of  the  perishing  f     *     *     * 

"I  often  pray  that  the  Lord  will  grant  you  as  much  physical 
strength  as  may  be  consistent  with  His  will,  for  I  know  that  many 
arduous  duties  are  continually  pressing  upon  you,  and  I  trust  you 
will  be  enabled  to  discharge  them,  many  a  long  year  to  come.  You 
have  consecrated  your  best  energies  to  your  Master's  service,  and 
He  will  comfort  and  sustain  you  in  every  hour  of  suffering,  in  every 
time  of  need.  He  will  make  '  all  things  work  together'  for  your 
good.     *     *     * 

"On  Sunday  week  I  was  again  at  the  vestry-room,  my  fifth  visit 
to  the  sanctuary,  and  enjoyed  the  services  more  than  words  can  ex- 
press. I  heard  once  more  our  beautiful  baptismal  service,  as  two 
young  girls  dedicated  themselves  to  the  service  of  our  blessed  Sa- 
viour—  our  only  hope. 

'"'■  Dec.  \%tli.  —  Dear  M.  P.  has  gone  to  heaven  since  I  last 
wi'ote,  and  though  I  mourn  her  loss,  I  am  thankful  for  another 
illustration  of  the  power  of  Jesus  to  sustain  in  a  tljing  hour. 
She  said,  when  dying,  'If  this  is  death,  it  is  sweet,'  and, 
'  Jesus  is  all  I  require.'  Dear  Saviour  !  be  with  me  also  in 
a  dying  hour." 

To  J.  U.  S. 

"  IIamiltonville,  Dec.  19,  1842. 

"  I  will  at  least  commence  a  letter  to  you,  dear  Howard,  though  I 
fear  interruptions  in  this.  We  earnestly  hope  the  long-talked-of 
sanctuary  will  one  day  attract  into  its  sacred  walls  many  who  know 


304  ANSWERED    PRAYER.  [1842. 

not  the  blessed  privileges  of  our  own  dear  Church.  Dear  Howard, 
I  would  commend  to  your  fervent  prayers  the  destitute  neighborhood 
in  which  our  parents  spent  their  early  days.  It  may  be  long  before 
a  sufficient  sum  shall  be  obtained  for  the  erection  of  a  building,  but 
the  siher  and  fhe  gold  are  the  Lord's,  and  we  will  pray  that  they 
may  be  poured  into  His  treasury. 

"■  My  beloved  cousin,  I  cannot  tell  you  how  my  heart  is  cheered, 
and  ray  faith  strengthened  by  the  loving-kindness  which  our  Father 
in  Heaven  has  manifested  towards  you,  my  orphan  cousin,  for  whom 
I  prayed  for  so  many  years,  when  you  were  yet  '  afar  off.'  And 
when  I  learned  that  you  had  been  asking  the  Most  High  if  it  be  not 
His  will  that  you  should  devote  yourself  to  the  ministry,  and  whether 
He  would  have  you  to  proclaim  to  the  heathen  the  unsearchable 
riches  of  Christ, — and  remembered  that  I  had  asked  this  when,  from 
the  circumstances  in  which  you  were  placed,  there  appeared  no  hu- 
man probability  that  you  would  ever  thus  consecrate  yourself  to 
Christ,  you  cannot  wonder  that  my  heart  was  glad. 

''  1  have  thought  of  you,  since  I  heard  your  feelings  on  this  sub- 
ject, with  peculiar  sympathy;  and  it  is  my  heartfelt  prayer  that  you 
may  clearly  discern  the  path  of  duty ;  and  you  ought  to  believe  that 
a  bright  light  will  be  reflected  upon  it.  '  In  all  thy  ways  acknow- 
ledge Him,  and  He  shall  direct  thy  paths,'  is  a  promise  which  has 
occurred  to  my  mind  in  many  a  season  of  perplexity,  and  has  been 
so  often  fulfilled  in  my  experience,  that  I  delight  to  make  it  the 
motto  of  my  life.     0  that  from  earliest  infancy  I  had  done  this  ! 

"  I  trust  that  you  have  given  yourself  to  the  service  of  Him  who 
died  for  you,  with  a  full  resolve  that  '  all  your  powers,  with  all  their 
might,  in  God's  sole  glory  shall  unitp  ;'  and  if  so,  I  am  willing,  much 
as  I  love  you,  that  you  should  stand  upon  the  very  outposts  of  Zion, 
—  that  you  should  labor  and  die  a  faithful  soldier  and  servant  of 
Jesus  the  crucified.  Willing,  do  I  say  ?  I  should  be  thanJcfid  to 
see  all  whom  friendship  has  made  dear,  all  who  are  united  to  me  by 
the  ties  of  kindred,  fully  imbued  with  a  missionary  spirit,  and  await- 
ing only  the  Lord's  pleasure,  whether  it  be  exercised  in  domestic 
eff"ort,  or  on  a  foreign  field. 

"  What  a  glorious  privilege  to  teach  even  a  little  child  the  name 
of  Jesus,  and  how  elevated  the  honor  of  saying  to  the  poor  victim 
of  heathen  error,  '■  Behold  the  Lamb  of  God  !'  I  know  the  toils  of 
missionary  life  are  more  than  sufficient  to  damp  the  zeal  of  the  en- 
thusiast, and  that  they  require  the  exercise  of  more  than  human 
fortiiude  and  energy;  but  soldiers  of  the  Cross  are  supplied. with 


1842.]  CHEERING    WORDS.  305 

sword  and  with  shield  by  the  great  Captain  of  their  salvation.  If 
you  receive  your  connuission  from  Him,  my  dear  cousin,  you  may 
press  onward,  nothing  doubting,  and  if  the  corruption  and  ignorance 
of  those  to  whom  you  would  teach  the  way  of  life  almost  tempt  you 
to  be  weary  in  well-doing,  anticipate  a  joyous  meeting  with  them  in 
the  world  of  glory,  where  they  shall  hail  you  as  the  instrument  of 
their  conversion,  and  your  faith  and  patience  will  increase. 

*'  Do  you  not  sometimes  feel,  dear  Howard,  as  though  you  would 
like  to  be  with  us  all  once  more  ?  I  often  wish  to  see  you,  now 
that  we  could  talk  together  of  our  heavenly  home  —  our  Saviour's 
love ;  and  might  have  many  talks  that  we  should  much  enjoy.  Now 
that  the  season  is  near  in  which  those,  whom  kindred  has  united,  de- 
light to  meet  together,  I  am  afraid  your  heart  will  be  saddened  by 
the  reflection  that  no  domestic  hearth  for  you  burns  brightly, — and 
yet  I  trust  you  will  be  so  thankful  that  you  can  'come  boldly  to  a 
Throne  of  Grace,  and  so  prepare  to  celebrate  the  coming  of  the 
Prince,'  that  sorrowful  thoughts  will  give  place  to  songs  of  praise. 

"  Have  you  heard  recently  from  Robert?  Let  us  continue  to  im- 
plore for  him  justifying  grace,  fur  we  surely  ought  to  exercise  strong 
faith  in  our  Father's  willingness  to  bless. 

*  *  *  a  Wi-ite  soon  —  pray  for  me  often,  that  I  may  be  more 
humble,  grateful  and  believing;  and  accept  an  assurance  of  sincere 
alFection." 


2G* 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

1843. 

Success  of  her  Efforts  for  the  Young — Recent  Illustration — Enjoyment 
of  the  Holy  Communion  —  Letter  to  R.  S.  on  the  Scriptures — Letter 
to  J.  IL  S.  —  False  Doctrines  —  Dr.  Clark's  Illness  —  Prospect  of 
Sudden  Death  —  Miss  B.'s  Illness  —  Letters  of  Condolence  —  Hor- 
tatory Letters  to  a  Lady. 

The  reader  will  have  been  enabled  to  form  some  idea,  from 
the  foregoing  extracts,  of  the  ardent  desires  to  bring  her  fellow- 
creatures  to  the  enjoyment  of  the  Gospel  hope  by  which  Miss 
Allibone  was  influenced.  Her  zeal  was  indeed  ever  burning, 
and  her  love  for  the  souls  of  men  constant  and  overflowing. 
It  passed  by  none  whom  it  could  reach  and  win.  All  for 
whom  Christ  died  were  embraced  within  her  expansive  charity. 
Her  love  for  the  Redeemer  was  extended  to  the  redeemed. 
And  her  interest  in  the  spiritual  and  eternal  welfare  of  those 
around  her  was  as  sincerely  felt  for  the  poor,  the  ignorant 
and  the  humble,  as  for  those  invested  with  all  that  was  attrac- 
tive and  dazzling.  To  the  intellectual,  the  accomplished,  the 
opulent  and  admired  she  spoke^with  the  fidelity  and  persua- 
siveness of  a  Christian  friend ;  while  the  unlettered  and 
unrefined  were  no  less  the  objects  of  her  fervent  prayers  and 
affectionate  solicitations.  Much  did  she  rejoice  when  success 
crowned  these  efibrts  ;  when  she  was  permitted  to  see  the 
tear  of  penitence  glisten  in  the  eye,  and  to  hear  the  cry  for 
mercy  arise  from  the  burdened  breast.  Nothing  was  more 
reviving  to  her  heart  than  indications  of  anxiety  for  eternal 
life  in  any  of  those  who  attended  her  instructions.  It  could 
be  truly  said  of  her  that  she  had  meat  to  eat  wliicli  the  world 
knew  not  of.  Her  Djary  for  1843,  although  containing  but 
few  entries,  notices  with   exceeding  joy  and  gratitude   the 


1843.]  ENCOURAGEMENT    IN    LABORS.  307 

evidences  of  the  divine  blessing  upon  her  labors  for  the 
young. 

'■^February.  —  One  or  two  Sundays  since  I  was  suffering 
such  acute  pain,  that,  although  I  was  in  a  peaceful  frame  of 
mind,  I  could  scarcely  think  with  animation — when  E.,  who 
is  the  joy  of  my  heart,  talked  so  sweetly  of  heavenly  things, 
and  interested  me  in  comparing  texts  of  Scripture  in  which 
our  blessed  Saviour  is  compared  with  light,  bread,  &c.,  that 
I  was  quite  raised  above  the  infirmities  of  the  body. 

"  March  2Qth,  1843,  Sunday. — Very,  very  solemn  feelings 

this  night.     Have  been  praying  with  Sister  F.  and with 

my  whole  heart,  that  we  may  be  prepared  to  meet  the  Saviour. 
I  have  cast  myself  long  since,  and  again  and  again  do  I  re- 
new the  consecration,  upon  the  mercy  of  God  in  Christ 
Jesus  —  my  only  liope  —  dedicating  all  that  I  am  and  have 
to  His  service.  I  have  sinned  and  come  short,  but  the  ful- 
ness of  Jesus  is  the  supply  of  my  every  want. 

"  My  heart  was  rejoiced,  yesterday,  by  a  letter  from  one 
of  my  boys,  expressive  of  the  deepest  spiritual  interest. 
Several  of  the  girls  are  serious. 

"  I  hope  I  shall  never  have  a  will  of  my  own.  Yet,  although 
in  one  great  affliction,  I  have  been  even  preserved  from  mur- 
muring, I  would  only  rely  upon  special  grace  for  the  endurance 
of  any  trial.  I  love  to  depend  upon  God  for  every  spiritual 
gift.  0  that  my  heart  were  filled  with  gratitude  for  His 
mercy  towards  my  scholars  !  I  was  formerly  almost  over- 
whelmed with  delight  wh^n  but  one  of  them  became  serious, 
and  now  I  have  again  and  again  new  subjects  for  thanks- 
giving. I  have  reason  to  trust  that  more  than  six  of  them 
have  recently  given  their  hearts  to  Jesus,  and  quite  a  number 

are  very  seriously  impressed.  I  often  see  that is  silently 

praying  for  a  blessing  while  I  am  talking  Avith  the  other 
boys. 

"  In  the  midst  of  my  joy  I  have  had  a  great  trial,  in  the 
sudden  death  of  my  beautiful  little  Caroline,  one  of  the  most 


308  INTERESTING    INCIDENT.  [1843. 

interesting  and  attentive  of  the  Saturday  class.  She  always 
sat  close  beside  me,  and  listened  with  earnest  and  sometimes 
tearful  attention.  I  remember,  she  one  day  leaned  her  head 
on  my  lap  and  wept,  while  I  begged  her  to  give  her  heart  to 
Jesus.  She  was  at  the  public  school  on  Wednesday,  and  on 
Friday  morning  was  in  eternity.  She  had  not  one  interval 
of  reason.  Is  not  this  a  solemn  lesson  ?  Ought  it  not  to 
teach  me  to  be  very  faithful  ? 

"Two  of  the  most  interesting  letters  I  have  ever  seen  I 

have  received  from ,  one  of  the  Tuesday  evening  boys. 

He  rejoices  in  Jesus.  0,  my  Father,  teach  me  how  to  speak 
to  these  lambs  of  Thy  fold,  of  the  gentle  Shepherd,  of  Jesus. 
The  spiritual  gift  I  have  been  asking  this  long  time  is  grace 
to  speak  to  Jesus,  that  those  whom  I  am  striving  to  win  to 
His  service  may  see  that  He  is  '  the  Way,  the  Truth  and  the 
Life,'  and  come  at  once  to  Him." 

The  following  incident,  not  a  solitary  one  of  the  kind, 
T^hich  occurred  since  her  decease,  is  an  illustration  of  the 
extensive  good  which  she  was  the  instrument  of  accomplish- 
ing, and  of  the  germination  of  the  good  seed,  so  diligently 
scattered,  after  her  earthly  labors  had  ceased : 

"It  is  about  two  months  since  a  young  man  called  to  see 
Miss  Allibone,  for  the  purpose  of  expressing  his  gratitude 
for  the  interest  she  had  taken  in  his  spiritual  welfare.  During 
his  residence  in  the  village  he  was  in  the  habit  of  calling  fre- 
quently to  see  her,  to  receive  counsel.  He  removed  to  the 
city,  and  became  very  dissipated,  but  never  forgot  the  words 
of  admonition  he  had  heard  from  her  lips ;  and  these  recol- 
lections pursued  him  so  constantly  and  powerfully,  that  he 
was  often  afraid  to  sleep  at  night.  A  sermon  which  he  heard 
last  winter  increased  these  convictions  to  such  a  degree  that 
he  said,  '  If  Miss  Susan  had  not  taught  mo  where  to  flee,  and 
how  I  ought  to  go  to  Jesus,  I  should  have  despaired  of  mercy. 
I  came  this  afternoon  to  rejoice  with  her,  and  I  am  so  sorry 


1843.]  THE    REFRESHING    ORDINANCE.  309 

not  to  find  her.'  He  appeared  to  be  sincerely  repentant,  and 
to  have  found  '  peace  in  believing.'  " 

"14f7/,  Crood  Friday.  —  I  have  earnestly  prayed  this  day, 
that  I  may  not  suffer  spiritual  loss  from  the  privation  of  the 
services  of  the  sanctuary,  but  that  I  may  realize  the  suifer- 
inors  of  Jesus,  and  live  and  trust  Him  more  than  ever. 
Sometimes  my  heart  is  deeply  touched,  while  I  think  of  all 
my  Saviour  has  done,  but  often  it  is  very  cold,  and  never  is 
it  duly  sensible  of  His  love.  Surely,  no  one  has  more  reason 
to  prize  it  than  I,  and  no  one  deserves  it  less. 

'■'•April  29th.  —  I  have  just  had  an  interview  with , 

Avhich  has  awakened  inexpressible  feeling,  —  such  feeling  as 
one  who  has  '  yearned  in  the  bowels  of  Jesus  Christ'  over 
one  deeply  loved  only  can  know.  He  has  been,  of  late,  in- 
creasingly serious,  and  it  has  given  me  great  consolation  to 
resign  him  to  the  operations  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  who  has 
been  teaching  him  lessons  of  contrition,  and  increasing  his 
interest  in  spiritual  things.  Nearly  eighteen  months  ago  I 
was  enabled  to  cast  him  with  peculiar  faith  upon  the  Saviour, 
and  lately  I  have  trusted  that  I  should  see  the  realization  of 
my  hopes. 

^'3Iay  27th. — I  should  be  glad  to  make  some  record  of  the 
interesting  events  which  are  continually  occurring,  but  I 
cannot  always  without  neglecting  other  duties.  Especially 
would  I  remember  the  refreshing  Communion  season  I  enjoyed 
a  few  weeks  since,  when  I  was  enabled  to  look  to  Jesus,  the 
Author  and  Finisher  of  my  faith,  with  feelings  of  inexpressi- 
ble peace.  Dear  Mr.  N.  administered  the  Communion,  and 
read  a  sermon  upon  the  love  of  Christ,  which  was  very  sweet, 
and  accompanied  with  a  blessing.  How  mistaken  are  those 
who  look  upon  these  ordinances  as  lifeless  forms  !  Though  I 
know  they  are  lifeless  indeed  without  the  Spirit's  power, 
still  the  Lord  does  bless  the  ordinances  of  His  appoint- 
ment. 


310  LETTERS.  [1843. 

To  her  cousin  R.  Smith. 

"  Feb.  5,  1843. 

''I  received  your  letter,  dear  Eobert,  with  a  thankful  heart,  as  it 
inspires  the  hope  that  you  are  heeding  the  gentle  whispers  of  the 
Holy  Spirit,  and  will  no  longer  refuse  the  offers  of  salvation. 

"  The  information  that  you  have  renounced  the  companionship  of 
those  who  would  injure  your  best  interests  is  very  gratifying;  and 
in  reference  to  this  step,  I  would  remind  you  of  the  promise  con- 
tained in  the  17th  and  18th  verses  of  the  6th  chapter  of  2d  Corin- 
thians. I  once  heard  this  sweet  assurance  repeated  with  a  faltering 
voice  and  tone  of  earnestness  by  a  young  Christian  friend,  who  is 
now  enjoying,  in  the  realms  of  glory,  eternal  communion  with  Him, 
at  whose  bidding  he  cheerfully  renounced  all  unsanctified  pleasure 
in  the  very  morning  of  his  days.  Like  yourself  he  was  an  orphan, 
and  had  an  only  brother  who  was  a  few  years  older  than  himself. 
Although  his  disposition  was  lively,  and  his  fortune  so  large  that  he 
could  have  gratified  any  desire  for  earthly  pleasure,  he  became  one 
of  the  most  watchful,  self-denying  disciples  of  our  Saviour  I  have 
ever  known.  He  confessed  this  blessed  Redeemer  in  the  rites  of 
His  own, appointment,  and  not  very  long  after  was  gladdened  by  his 
brother's  participation  in  the  same  joys  which  filled  his  heart.  They 
both  became  the  subjects  of  the  disease  to  which  almost  all  their 
kindred  have  fallen  victims  —  consumption,  —  and  are  now  rejoicing 
together  that  they  obeyed  the  call,  '  Come  out  from  among  them,  and 
be  ye  separate.' 

"Your  brother,  dear  Robert,  has  passed  the  boundary  which 
divides  the  children  of  God  from  those  who  know  Him  not.  When 
he  was  aroused  to  a  realization  of  iiis  deep  depravity,  his  heart  was 
filled  with  sorrow,  but  now,  that  he  has  come  to  Jesus,  it  has  become 
the  abode  of  peace,  for  he  experiences  that  the  Saviour's  '  yoke  is 
easy,  and  His  burden  light.'  In  a  very  interesting  letter  I  received 
from  him  a  week  or  two  since,  he  expresses  the  deepest  interest  in 
your  welfare.  Shall  I  not  hope,  my  dear  cousin,  that  his  earnest 
prayer  and  mine  will  be  answered,  and  that,  with  the  angels  in  heaven, 
we  shall  rejoice  over  your  conversion  ? 

"  You  sometimes  fear  that  your  petitions  do  not  ascend  on  High, 
and  thus  would  Satan  persuade  you  that  it  is  in  vain  that  you  seek 
God,  and  win  you  to  closer  allegiance  to  his  service.  Oh  !  do  not 
heed  these  suggestions,  but  plead  the  promises  of  God.  I  should 
like  you  to  pray  over  each  verse  of  the  55th  chapter  of  Isaiah  and 
the  loth  chapter  of  Luke.     If  you  would  realize  feelings  of  deep- 


1843.]  THE    SCRIPTURES.  311 

ened  penitence,  make  the  51st  and  25tli  Psalms  subjects  of  your 
supplication.  Wlien  you  would  feci  more  grateful,  let  the  103d  (my 
blessed  mother's  favorite,)  furnish  you  with  matter  for  thanksgiving. 
If  you  desire  an  increase  of  wisdom,  study  the  book  of  Proverbs  with 
earnest  care,  and  be  encouraged  to  ask  it  of  God  by  the  sweet  pro- 
mise you  will  find  in  the  1st  chapter  of  James.  I  do  not  doubt  that 
the  Bible  is  your  frequent  study,  and  trust  you  will  love  it  more  and 
more.  I  like  very  much  to  read  it  with  references  to  parallel  pas- 
sages, and  should  love  to  read  it  with  you  this  summer.  Does  your 
friend,  Mi*.  W.,  take  pleasure  in  biblical  studies  ?  Will  he  not  study 
with  you  the  Book  of  Life  ? 

"  May  God  give  you  grace,  dear  Robert,  to  bring  every  doctrine 
3'ou  would  examine  to  the  test  of  this  sacred  book,  and  to  remember 
that  '  if  they  speak  not  according  to  this  Word,  it  is  because  there  is 
no  light  in  them.'  There  is,  in  this  age  of  liberalism,  such  a  dispo- 
sition to  substitute  reason's  feeble  light  for  the  revelation  God  has 
kindly  given  us,  that  it  is  peculiarly  needful  to  beware  of  false  teach- 
ers and  unscriptural  views.  How  plainly  the  Scriptures  teach  us 
the  innate  corruption  of  our  nature,  the  glorious  doctrine  of  Christ's 
deity,  and  His  atonement !  I  do  love  to  meditate  on  the  soul-sus- 
taining truth  that,  in  the  Cross  of  Jesus,  '  mercy  and  truth  are  met 
together,  righteousness  and  peace  have  kissed  each  other.'  Though 
we  merit  eternal  death,  we  are  justified  freely  by  the  blood  of  Christ. 
Fear  not  to  trust  this  gracious  Saviour,  and  defer  not  coming  to  Him 
until  you  have  repented  more  humbly.  Come  to  Ilimyb?'  repentance, 
and  aU  else  you  need. 

"  You  '  ask  God  to  make  your  prayers  sincere.'  This  is  just  such 
a  petition  as  I  would  have  you  offer.  Oh  !  do  not  rest,  do  not  cease 
to  pray,  until  you  can  say,  '  I  know  that  7nj/  Redeemer  liveth,'  and 
then  when  you  have  known  His  love,  you  will  ask  Him  to  teach  you 
what  you  shall  do  to  prove  your  gratitude,  to  win  your  fellow-sinners 
to  His  love,  and  perhaps  you  will  one  day  stand  at  3'our  brother's 
side  in  the  sacred  ministry,  or  tell  of  Jesus  in  foreign  lands.  How- 
ever this  maybe,  if  you  become  truly  religious  you  will  be  a  blessing 
to  all  around  you.     Oh  !  Robert, 

'A  heavenly  race  demands  our  zeal, 
And  an  immortal  crown.' 

"  I  think  your  new  mode  of  life  must  be  greatly  preferable,  I 
have  prayed  that  you  and  Mr.  W.  may  enjoy  spiritual  intercourse  — 
that  you  may  make  preparation  for  eternity. 

"  Have  you  access  to  religious  books  ?     There  are  a  few  I  should 


312  BOOKS.  [1843. 

so  much  like  you  to  read  :  '  Mcllvaine's  Evidences/  '  Wilberforce's 
Practical  View  of  Christianity/  '  Doddridge's  Rise  and  Progress/ 
'  Dr.  Clark's  Walk  about  Zion/  and  '  Pastor's  Testimony/  are  books 
from  wbich  you  would  derive  profit  and  pleasure.  I  wish  you  could 
make  a  selection  from  the  book-case  in  my  room. 

"  You  must  not  suppose  that  I  feel  no  interest  in  your  intellectual 
pursuits,  dear  Robert.  I  am  glad  that  you  are  seeking  to  cultivate 
your  mind,  but  I  would  have  you  to  consecrate  every  study  by  asking 
upon  it  the  blessing  of  God,  and  ever  to  seek  first  His  kingdom  and 
His  righteousness.  I  sincerely  hope  your  time  is  never  devoted  to 
the  perusal  of  novels.     I  once  loved  them,  but  now  regard  them 

with  disapprobation.     When became  serious,  she  resolved  that 

she  would  read  no  book  upon  which  she  could  not  ask  the  blessing 
of  God.     This  rule  banishes  all  novel  reading,  does  it  not? 

"  I  find  so  much  consolation  in  prayer,  that  I  am  desirous  that 
you  should  consecrate  several  seasons  of  each  day  to  this  employ- 
ment. Twilight  is  a  sweet  hour  for  devotion,  and  if  you  will  tell  me, 
when  you  write,  that  you  will  always  pray  for  me  at  that  time,  our 
petitions  will  ascend  together,  if  my  life  be  prolonged,     *     *     * 

"  May  the  Father  of  the  fatherless  guide  you  forever,  is  the 
prayer  of  your  cousin,  Susan." 

To  J.  IT.  S. 

"  Greenwood,  June  12,  1843. 

"  I  have  almost  feared,  my  dear  cousin,  that  you  would  suspect 
me  of  declining  friendship,  but  I  can  assure  you  that  you  would  have 
received  many  letters  if  my  kind  thoughts  of  you  had  been  penned. 
You  are  so  well  acquainted  with  the  state  of  my  health,  that  I  need 
not  tell  you  that  my  physical  infirmities  very  much  limit  my  ability 
for  epistolary  effort,  but  they  do  not  prevent  me  from  thinking  of 
you  with  sisterly  affection,  and  from  asking  every  day  that  the  Most 
High  may  bless  you. 

"  I  feel  quite  desirous  to  learn  whether  light  has  been  thrown  upon 
your  path  in  reference  to  your  theological  studies.  If  not,  dear 
Howard,  be  not  discouraged,  but  pray  earnestly,  constantly  for  direc- 
tion, and  you  will  certainly  receive  it.  Perhaps  our  Heavenly 
Father  sees  that  the  exercise  of  faith  and  patience  will  best  mature 
your  Christian  character,  and  will,  when  His  purposes  shall  have 
been  accomplished,  remove  the  obstacles  which  are  now  in  your  way. 
I  feel  very  great  sympathy  with  you  in  this  matter,  and  often  make 
it  a  subject  of  prayer. 


1843.]      CAUTION    AGAINST    FALSE    DOCTRINE.        313 

"  I  trust,  my  dear  cousin,  that  the  Word  of  God  will  be  your  chief 
delight  —  that  you  will,  with  the  Psalmist,  continually  pray,  'Teach 
me  good  judgment  and  knowledge ;'  and  sure  I  am,  whilst  this  book 
is  your  guide,  and  this  petition  in  your  heart,  you  will  never  receive 
as  an  article  of  your  faith,  the  doctrine  of  2^^'og>'essive  justljication, 
baptismal  regeneration,  consiihstantiation,  or  any  of  those  opinions 
which  have  been  recently  so  much  discussed.  I  do  not  believe  that 
any  member  of  our  beloved  Church  can  feel  for  her  more  sincere 
affection.  I  have  again  and  again  returned  hearty  thanks  to  our 
Father  in  Heaven,  that  He  has  guided  my  steps  into  so  peaceful  a 
home.  I  love  her  scriptural  doctrines  and  delight  in  her  truly  spiri- 
tual services,  but  my  heart  grows  sick  when  I  discover  that  her 
mistaken  friends  too  often  injure  her  interests  by  unduly  exalting 
external  things. 

"As  a  private  Christian,  I  am  anxious  that  you  should  possess 
sanctified,  ojmiions,  for  we  can  never  realize  the  extent  of  the  influ- 
ence we  all  possess ;  but  the  responsibility  which  rests  upon  a  cler- 
gyman is  so  great,  that  Almighty  grace  can  alone  enable  him  to 
discharge  it,  or  I  should  rather  say  that  he  needs  a  double  portion 
of  the  Spirit's  influence.  I  delight  to  know  that  the  Shepherd  and 
Bishop  of  souls  is  ever  ready  to  bestow  His  gracious  teachings,  and  I 
love  to  place  myself  under  His  protection  from  '  false  doctrine,  heresy 
and  schism.' 

"  I  wish  you  could  have  shared  with  us  a  delightful  communion 
we  enjoyed  last  week.  Dr.  Clark  has  been  compelled  to  resign  the 
care  of  St.  Andrew's,  and  is  too  much  of  an  invalid  to  perform  pas- 
toral duty.  His  visits  were  a  great  consolation,  and  I  miss  them 
greatly,  but  Mr.  N.  has  been  here  several  times,  and  has  twice 
administered  the  communion.  If  you  have  never  received  it  on  a 
private  occasion,  you  cannot  imagine  how  interesting  it  is.  We  feel 
that  our  blessed  Saviour  is  with  us,  and  I  have  often  thought,  dear 
Howard,  that  if  a  manifestation  of  His  presence  is  a  proof  that  any 
service  is  acceptable  to  Him,  I  can  never  doubt  that  the  reception 
of  the  Lord's  Supper  is  according  to  His  will.  Is  not  the  language 
of  the  Communion  service  beautifully  adapted  to  the  occasion  ? 

"  One  of  my  friends,  a  sincere  but  doubting  Christian,  was  very 
anxious  to  obey  the  Saviour's  command,  but  feared  she  was  not  yet 
prepared.  We  read  together  the  service,  and  she  discovered  there 
was  nothing  in  it  which  should  deter  any  penitent  sinner  from 
approaching  the  ordinance,  and  she  became  at  once  a  communi- 
cant.    *     *     * 

27 


314  YOUTHFUL    PIETY.  [1843. 

''Dear  H.,  do  pray  that  I  maybe  more  thankful.  I  am  dealt 
with  so  gently,  and  am  so  entirely  unworthy  of  the  goodness  of 
God.     *     *     ^= 

"  Quite  a  number  of  the  village  children  are  under  serious  impres- 
sions, and  some  appear  to  have  been  truly  regenerated.  Will  you 
not,  dear  cousin,  pray  most  earnestlij  that  I  may  be  taught  the  les- 
sons I  would  give  to  others  ?  You  could  not  bestow  upon  me  a 
greater  favor.  I  do  not  realize,  as  I  ought,  the  value  of  souls,  and  I 
wish  to  be  very  faithful,  and  to  feel  that  I  am  dependent  upon  Divine 
aid.     I  desire  an  eye  single  to  the  glory  of  God. 

"  Have  you  lately  heard  from  Robert,  or  is  he  yet  with  you  ?  I 
feel  very  deep  interest'  in  his  spiritual  welfare,  and  pray  for  him  at 
twilight.     Ask  him  if  he  remembers  my  proposition. 

"  Write  soon  to  your  affectionate  cousin,  Susan." 

'•'•July,  1843.  —  I  have  had  an  interesting  talk  with  my 
young  friend,  H.  T.  I  think  the  Holy  Spirit  has  touched 
his  heart.     A.  V.  has,  I  trust,  given  his  heart  to  Jesus. 

"I  enjoy  my  rides  much  more  since  J.  B.  has  been  so 
serious.  lie  thinks  he  has  given  his  heart  to  our  Saviour. 
I  asked  him  ii  he  thought  there  was  any  change  in  his  con- 
duct, from  which  his  Father  could  know  that  he  felt  interested 
in  religion.  He  replied,  '  I  do  my  errands  smarter.'  Tasked 
him  if  there  was  any  thing  else,  and  he  said,  '  1  do  not  quar- 
rel so  much  with .'     These  seem  like  the  fruits  of  the 

Spirit.  I  have  had  too  many  jlisappointments  in  my  life,  to 
feel  certain  that  all  the  serious  boys  will  prove  truly  religious, 
and  yet  I  am  thankful  for  all  they  do  feel." 

To  Mm  B. 

'■'■  I  believe  I  will  indulge  myself  with  writing  you  a  few  lines, 
dearest  Lucie,  for  as  it  is  the  fourth  of  July,  I  do  not  ride  in  my 
little  carriage  to-day,  and  I  have  not  any  company  just  now.  Yes- 
terday I  had  a  very  pleasant  visit  from  Mr.  S.,  who  spoke  sweetly 
of  the  desirableness  of  conformity  to  the  image  of  Jesus.  You  will 
be  glad  to  learn  that  I  have  passed  the  last  two  Sunday  mornings 
in  the  vestry-room,  and  enjoyed  the  services  inexpressibly.  'With 
joy  shall  we  draw  water  out  of  the  wells  of  salvation.' 


1843.]  LETTERS.  315 

''I  am  more  and  more  deeply  impressed  witli  tLe  coRviction  that 
religion  is  a  source  of  soul-sustaining  pleasure,  and  I  feel  thankful 
that  I  am  permitted  to  '  taste  and  see  that  the  Lord  is  good.'  I 
would  remind  you,  my  beloved  friend,  of  the  fulness  which  is  in 
Jesus,  and  encourage  you  to  come  to  Him  for  all  you  need.  I  am 
sure  that  the  spirits  of  the  redeemed  in  heaven  rejoice  that  they 
believed  these  promises  so  gloriously  realized.  Let  us  be  followers 
of  thch-  faith  and  patience.  I  pray  for  you  often,  and  regret  that 
we  cannot  more  frequently  pray  and  talk  together.  Dear  Lucie  !  be 
watchful,  prayerful  and  believing,  and  you  will  be  more  than  con- 
queror over  every  spiritual  foe.  When  created  objects  would  inter- 
pose their  charms,  oh  !  think  of  the  dying  love  of  Jesus;  think  of 
Him  as  your  ascended  Lord ;  and  pray  for  grace  to  realize  that  He 
is  'chief  among  ten  thousand  and  altogether  lovely.' 

"  I  ought  to  have  returned  the  account  of  Laura  B.  ere  this.  I 
read  it  with  interest,  and  felt  that  I  ought  to  pray  for  this  interest- 
ing girl;  for  I  fear  that  her  intellectual  and  affectionate  instructor 
will  not  lead  her  to  the  Cross  of  Jesus.  I  am  not  acquainted  with 
his  denoiuinational  peculiarities,  but  I  was  grieved  by  the  spiritual 
ignorance  his  narrative  displays.  He  does  not  recognize  the  native 
corruption  of  the  heart,  and  while  he  acknowledges  her  ability  for 
the  acquisition  of  knowledge,  hesitates  to  teach  her  the  doctrines  of 
Christianity.  Do  you  remember  the  description  of  Jack,  in  Personal 
Recollections,  and  his  idea  of  the  red  hand  ?"     *     *     * 

To  (lie  same. 

"  Woods,  Aug.  3,  1843. 

"  Imagine  me,  my  darling  Lucie,  in  my  little  carriage,  under  the 
shade  of  some  beautiful  trees,  surrounded  by  delightful  and  very 
rural  scenery  ;  the  waters  of  the  mill-dam  are  flowing  at  the  foot  of 
the  hill,  and  the  birds  are  singing  around  me.  I  wish  you  were 
with  me  now;  I  could  have  you  to  sing  for  me,  and  we  could  talk 
together  of  the  celestial  city.  I  find  my  efforts  to  secure  leisure 
for  writing  to  you  so  unsuccessful,  that  I  have  brought  a  sheet  of 
paper  to  this  sweet  spot,  that  I  may  tell  you  that  you  are  not  for- 
gotten, and  must  never  suspect  that  my  warm  affection  has  in  any 
degree  diminished. 

"  I  have  been  wishing  to  make  some  comments  upon  the  remark 
of  your  friend.  Miss  W.,  of  which  you  speak  in  your  last  note.  It 
has  been  said  by  some  one  that  we  cannot  thank  God  as  we  ought 
for  our  creation,  until  we  learn  to  praise  Him  for  our  redemption. 


316  SYMTATHY.  [1843. 

Since  your  friend  has  accepted  the  oiFers  of  salvation,  she  then  has 
a  right  to  return  unfeigned  thanksgiving  that  she  was  born  at  all, 
that  she  might  'be  born  again.'  If  hers  shall  be  the  blessedness  of 
Heaven,  she  will  '  then  in  nobler,  sweeter  songs,'  oifer  praise  to  Him 
who  has  granted  such  rich  blessings  of  Providence  and  grace.  It  is 
wonderful  that  He  has  '  so  loved  the  world.' 

"  I  think  the  habit  of  returning  thanks  for  the  blessings  of  each 
day  is  very  beneficial.  Even  the  comparatively  trifling  events  which 
cause  us  to  pass  time  pleasantly,  should  be  noticed  as  subjects  for 
thanksgiving.  The  beauties  of  nature,  the  air  we  breathe,  the  flowers 
which  speak  to  us  so  sweetly  of  our  Father's  love,  the  provisions  He 
supplies  for  our  physical  need,  and  the  observation  of  His  ruling, 
guiding  care,  should  constantly  cause  us  to  exclaim,  '  The  whole 
earth  is  full  of  Thy  riches.'  And  then,  our  Heavenly  Father  exer- 
cises towards  us  so  much  patience  and  long-sufiering ;  He  scatters 
upon  almost  every  page  of  His  Holy  Word  such  blessed  promises; 
He  gave  His  only  Son  to  die  for  our  sins;  His  Spirit  to  guide  and 
to  console;  and  then,  when  life's  journey  shall  have  been  passed. 
He  takes  His  redeemed  children  to  dwell  with  Him  in  peace  and 
joy  for  ever. 

"I  know,  dear  Lucie,  that  those  who  dwell  in  glory  'come  out 
of  great  tribulation,'  for  discipline  is  needed  by  every  child  of  Adam, 
but  we  must  7ieve7'  donht,  for  '  all  things  shall  work  together  for 
good  to  them  that  love  God.'  How  sweet  is  the  expression,  '  Thou 
art  the  Helper  of  the  fatherless.'  We  are  fatherless,  dearest  Lucie, 
and  God  is  our  Father.  J  am  motherless,  and  yet  '  as  one  whom 
His  mother  coniforteth  so  He  comforts  me.'  Oh,  do  not  let  us 
turn  away  from  Him,  let  us  seek  more  and  more  of  the  Spirit  of 
adoption,  and  let  us  pray  for  grace  to  render  filial  obedience  at  all 
times.     *     *     * 

"  5/7f.  —  I  received  your  letter,  dear  Lucie,  after  my  return  from 
the  woods,  but  until  now  have  not  found  leisure  to  complete  even 
this  scribbled  epistle. 

"  I  scarcely  know  what  to  say  in  reference  to  your  spiritual  troubles, 
in  which  I  need  not  assure  you  that  I  always  deeply  sympathize.  I 
should  be  sorry  if  the  fear  of  giving  me  pain  should  ever  induce  you 
to  withhold  the  expression  of  your  feelings. 

"You  speak  of  the  temptation  you  sometimes  feel  to  give  up  all 
efibrt  to  pursue  the  path  which  leads  to  Heaven.  Surely  you  must 
know  whence  this  suggestion  comes,  and  instantly  reject  it  with  hor- 
ror.    Read  with  earnest  prayer,  my  beloved  friend,  the  llth  cliap- 


1843.]  LOVE     FOR    THE    TRUTH.  317 

ter  of  Hebrews;  look  at  the  'cloud  of  witnesses,'  wlio  'might  have 
had  opportunity  to  have  returned/  but  who  pressed  onward  througb 
trials  which  we,  dear  Lucie,  have  never  yet  known;  for  wo  have  not 
yet  'resisted  unto  blood,  striving  against  sin.'  I  have  often  thought 
if  religion  were  not  the  blessed  thing  it  is ;  if  it  required  the  sacrifice 
of  every  earthly  enjoyment,  or  even  confinement  to  some  dreary  dun- 
geon, it  would  be  wiser  to  endure  all  this,  that  we  might  escape  eter- 
nal misery,  and  secure  the  blessing  of  Heaven.  But  it  is  not  tJius. 
Were  there  no  world  but  this,  the  disciple  of  Jesus  would  be  happier 
even  in  afiiiction,  than  the  most  brilliant  of  earth's  votaries.  Dear 
Lucie,  I  fear  this  state  of  mind  has  been  in  some  degree  produced 
by  inattention  to  the  voice  of  the  Holy  Spirit.  There  is  so  much 
danger  of  grieving  Him  by  the  indulgence  of  indolent  or  vain  feel- 
ings, by  the  careless  perusal  of  His  Word,  by  the  neglect  of  prayer 
and  self-examination,  and  by  iinhcJuf.  Be  your  dilEculties  what 
they  may,  they  are  not  beyond  the  power  of  Him  who  is  'able  to 
subdue  all  things  unto  Himself.'  Cast  yourself  anew  at  the  foot  of 
the  Cross,  and  you  will  find  that  Christ  is  able  to  'save  unto  the 
uttermost."     *     *     * 

'^Aug.  1st. — 0  my  Heavenly  Father,  preserve  me  from  the 
false  doctrine  which  makes  my  spirit  so  sad.  Teach  me  to 
defend  the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus.  Endue  me  with  meekness 
and  discretion,  and  with  holy  boldness  ;  for  Thou  seest  I  need 
them  all.  Oh,  let  my  faith  be  strengthened  by  every  argu- 
ment. Let  me  not  pride  myself  upon  my  orthodoxy,  but 
remember  that  it  is  only  while  I  sit  at  the  feet  of  Jesus,  and 
learn  from  Him  new  lessons  of  faith  and  love,  that  I  can  be 
preserved  from  error.  I  do  cling  to  the  Cross.  I  do  depend 
upon  Thy  teaching,  Thou  gracious  Shepherd  and  Bishop  of 
souls.  I  commit  my  faith,  my  allegiance  to  Thy  protection. 
I  thank  Thee  that  Thou  hast  preserved  me  through  years  of 
temptation. 

"  Yesterday  had  a  season  of  prayer,  in  which  I  felt,  some- 
what as  I  wisli  to  feel,  the  desolation  of  Zion — in  which  my 
soul  was  burdened  for  the  sins  of  my  people.  I  have  had  the 
expression  of  David,  '  My  soul,  wait  thou  only  upon  God,  for 
my  expectation  is  from  Ilim,'  very  much  in  my  mind  for 
some  time  past. 

27  * 


318  ILLNESS    OF    FRIENDS.  [1843. 

"  My  dear  Pastor's  illness  is  a  great  trial.  He  paid  us  a 
visit  lately,  but  could  converse  very  little,  and  could  not  even 
pray  with  me.  But  I  '  look  unto  the  hills,  from  whence  cometh 
my  help.' 

"  I  have  had  some  symptoms  which  increase  the  probability 
that  my  death  may  be  sudden, — an  almost  constant  uneasi- 
ness of  the  heart.  I  contemplate  death  with  pleasure,  for 
'  I  know  that  my  Redeemer  liveth,'  but  I  feel  grieved  that  I 
am  not  more  heavenly-minded.  0  my  Father,  pardon  my 
many  sins,  and  sanctify  my  soul,  for  Jesus'  sake." 

In  the  summer  of  1843,  Miss  Allibone's  very  dear  and 
interesting  friend,  Miss  Byrd,  was  seized  with  illness  of  an 
alarming  character.  The  immediate  and  threatening  dan- 
ger, by  the  blessing  of  God  on  skilful  medical  treatment,  was 
averted,  but  the  disease  was  only  for  a  time  checked  and 
mitigated.  The  cheek  of  the  lovely  invalid  glowed  more 
brightly  still  with  the  hectic  flush,  and  remorseless  consump- 
tion preyed  upon  the  delicate,  attenuated  frame.  To  her 
invalid  friend  Miss  Allibone,  from  her  own  experience  of  ill- 
ness, as  Avell  as  deep  sympathy  with  her  spiritual  exercises, 
was  able  to  minister  most  acceptable  consolation. 

To  Miss  L.  V.  B. 

"  I  cannot  tell  you  how  sad  I  felt  when  I  was  informed  of  your 
illness,  but  I  remembered  that  God  is  your  Father  and  Friend,  and 
committed  you  with  confidence  to  His  guardianship.  My  visit,  brief 
as  it  was,  afforded  me  much  gratification,  and  I  felt  thankful  to  learn 
that  you  feel  so  peaceful,  and  were  not  alarmed  by  the  symptoms 
which  so  suddenly  attacked  you.  Fear  not  to  encourage  these 
blessed  emotions  of  reliance  upon  God.  You  can  honor  him  best  by 
trusting  Him  simply  and  earnestly.  I  pray  that  He  will  give  you 
grace  to  glorify  Him  by  your  faith  and  patience,  now  that  they  are 
thus  tested.  Cheerful  endurance  of  pain,  and  the  many  privations 
attendant  upon  sickness,  will  be  as  acceptable  to  God  as  the  most 
active  service;  but  it  is  not passlvcli/  alone  that  you  can  prove  your 
allegiance.  Your  worldly  friends,  who,  amid  the  circles  of  fashion, 
would  deem  religion  a  gloomy  and  most  unwelcome  subject,  will  be 


1843.]  LETTERS.  319 

glad  that  it  irradiates  the  chamber  of  sickness,  and  when  they  come 
to  visit  you,  will  allow  you  to  beg  them  to  '  taste  and  see  that  the 
Lord  is  good.' 

"I  would  urge  upon  you  great  care  of  your  health  —  implicit 
obedience  to  your  physician's  requests.  This  is  a  Christian  duty, 
and  you  owe  it  to  the  anxious  hearts  around  you,  to  the  friends  who 
would  risk  their  lives  to  minister  to  your  comfort.  How  much  I 
should  love  to  help  nurse  you,  my  precious  Lucie ;  but  I  hope,  if  it 
be  our  Father's  will,  you  will  not  long  require  the  aid  of  those  who 
love  you.  Your  situation  is  critical,  but  I  have  known  so  many 
persons  who  enjoy  a  tolerable  degree  of  health  after  such  attacks  as 
yours,  that  I  hope  the  best;  but  I  say  this  selfishly,  for  'to  depart 
and  to  be  with  Christ  is  far  better .'  Oh  !  I  long  to  go  to  Hea- 
ven !  I  would  be  glad  to  be  'by  death's  cold  hand  led  home  to 
God.'"     *     *     * 

To  the  same. 

"It  is  a  sad  reflection  that  you,  and  my  dear  Pastor,  and  my  cou- 
sin, Mrs.  0.  (three  of  my  best-loved  friends),  are  in  so  delicate  a  state 
of  health ;  but  I  ought  not  to  regret  this,  since  *  whom  the  Lord 
loveth  He  chasteneth,'  and  He  so  kindly  gives  you  the  consolations 
of  His  Spirit.  I  am  selfish  enough  to  hope,  that  if  it  be  His  plea- 
sure, I  may  enter  the  heavenly  world  before  any  of  you  shall  be 
taken  from  me ;  but  I  would  rather  my  Heavenly  Father  should  do 
with  me  as  He  sees  best,  for  '  He  doetli  all  things  well.' 

"  Lucie  !  my  beloved  friend,  how  much  I  have  thought  of  you 
during  the  past  two  weeks  !  Emotions  of  sadness  and  of  thankful- 
ness have  succeeded  each  other.  How  very  unhappy  I  should  feel 
if  I  did  not  believe  that  you  are  a  child  of  God ;  that  the  Everlast- 
ing Arms  will  ever  shelter  you  !  Fear  not  to  exercise  the  most 
entire  trust.  I  so  much  love  the  promise,  '  Call  upon  me  in  the 
day  of  trouble;  I  will  answer  thee,  and  thou  shalt  glorify  me.'  Oh  ! 
what  a  privilege  to  be  permitted  to  glorify  God,  to  prove  His  power 
to  sustain,  to  be  enabled  to  say  to  those  around  us,  '  My  flesh  and 
my  heart  faileth,  but  God  is  the  strength  of  my  heart,  and  my  por- 
tion for  ever !'  Now  that  you  feel  weak,  you  will  need  ver)j  simple 
trust  in  Jesus.  I  pray  that  it  may  be  yours.  Sometimes  when  I 
have  been  so  debilitated,  that  I  have  been  almost  incapable  of  men- 
tal effort,  I  have  felt  as  though  God  came  to  me,  and  1  had  scarcely 
to  exert  myself  to  go  to  Him.  He  pitieth  us  even  as  a  kind  father. 
I  often  think  of  dear  old  Bishop  Moore's  prayer,  that  '  when  my  pil- 


820  LETTERS.  [1843. 

low  refused  mc  the  repose  I  souglit,  I  mip;ht  be  permitted  to  rest 
upon,  the  bosom  of  Jesus.'  " 

To  a  Ijadij. 

«'Oct.  22,  1843. 

''  I  felt  quite  disappointed  when  I  learned  that  you  had  gone  so 
far  away,  dear  Mrs.  E.,  for  I  had  hoped  I  should  have  been  able  to 
repeat  my  conviction  that  our  Heavenly  Father  is  -waiting  to  bestow 
His  blessing  on  you,  and  to  persuade  you  to  accept  these  offers  of 
mercy  which  are  addressed  to  ymi  as  emphatically  as  though  there 
were  no  other  being  in  the  world. 

''I  wished,  too,  to  have  given  you  the  little  tract  I  enclose,  and 
was  very  glad  to  hear  from  your  sister  that  she  will  be  able  to  send 
it  to  you  very  soon.  Need  I  apologize  for  the  few  lines  which 
accompany  it?  Will  you  wonder  that  one  who  has  enjoyed  the 
Saviour's  presence  through  years  of  suffering,  in  the  hour  of  bereave- 
ment, and  who  can  point  to  His  blood  as  the  atonement  for  her 
many  sins,  should  remind  you  of  His  invitation,  '  Come  unto  me, 
and  I  will  give  you  rest.' 

"  You  will  perhaps  tell  me,  '  this  rest  is  not  for  me ;  my  soul  is 
not  penetrated  by  contrition,  nor  does  it  overflow  with  love.  I  am 
not  in  a  proper  state  of  mind  for  the  reception  of  spiritual  blessings.' 
I  am  sorry  that  you  do  not  repent  more  deeply,  and  love  more  fer- 
vently. I  acknowledge  that  you  have  no  worthy  offering  to  brinof 
unto  the  Lord,  but  you  are  '  weary  and  heavy  laden,'  and  therefore 
Jesus  says  to  you,  '  Come  unto  me.'  You  are  fearful  that  you  will 
be  called  into  eternity  whilst  yet  unreconciled  to  God.  You  dread 
his  frown  of  displeasure  when  you  shall  stand  at  the  judgment-seat, 
and  you  believe  that  in  ijoir  enr  s^'iW  sound  the  fearful  sentence, 
'Depart,  ye  cursed.'  Oh!  what  a  fearful  doom!  How  justly 
dreaded  by  the  guilty  soul !  How  awful  the  reflection  that  the 
wrath  of  God  ahldcfh  on  him  '  who  believeth  not !' 

"  Oh  !  go  not  to  the  world  to  shake  off  this  fearful  consciousness : 
foreet  not  that  the  endearments  of  domestic  life  are  but  for  a  season  : 
that  unsanctificd  intellectual  enjoyment  is  but  a  dream.  But  a  little 
while  will  the  period  of  probation  continue;  and  then,  unsupported 
by  the  arm  of  earthly  affection,  you  must  pass  on  to  the  untried 
realities  of  the  eternal  world.  Oh  !  then  flee  to  the  refuge  set  be- 
fore us.  I  care  not  what  motive  brings  you  to  my  Saviour,  if  you 
will  only  come.  '  Him  hath  God  exalted  with  His  right  hand  to  be 
a  Prince  and  a  Saviour  to  give  repentance  to  Israel  and  forgiveness 
of  sins.'     So,  then,  your  want  of  repentance  is  no  just  excuse  for 


1843.]  LETTERS.  321 

stayinp;  away.  This  colclneps  of  heart  will  soon  molt  away  when  the 
love  of  God  is  shed  abroad  in  your  heart  by  the  Holy  Ghost.  Seek 
then,  His  influences.  If  you  cannot  seek  as  you  would,  be  not  dis- 
couraged. If  you  can  only  lift  up  your  eye  to  Heaven,  there  let  it 
be  fixed.  If  you  can  only  say,  '  God  be  merciful  to  me  a  sinner,' 
repeat  the  cry,  though  it  be  with  a  faltering  tone. 

"  Let  me  warn  you  with  solemn  earnestness  against  the  spirit  of 
indifference  which,  with  icy  grasp,  would  extinguish  the  motions  of 
the  Spirit.  Let  me  beseech  you  to  suffer  not  the  excitement  of  new 
scenes,  or  even  the  most  imperative  duties  of  life  to  divert  your 
attention  from  the  solemn  question  which  will  soon  be  settled.  Will 
you  be  a  recipient  of  pardon  and  peace,  of  God's  blessing  in  this 
world,  and  the  everlasting  smile  of  His  love ;  or  will  you  coldly 
reject  these  mercies,  and  say  unto  Jesus,  'I  will  not  come  to  Thee 
that  I  may  have  life.'  I  must  just  remind  you  that  the  invitation 
contained  in  the  last  chapter  of  Revelation  is  addressed  not  only  to 
him  that  thirstcth,  but  to  whomsoever  will. 

"May  God  give  you  grace  to  give  up  every  thing  which  grieves 
His  Spirit,  to  seek  entire  conformity  to  the  image  of  His  Son,  to 
consecrate  your  talents  and  affections  to  His  service.  I  have  written 
very  plainly,  as  much  so  as  though  long  acquaintance  had  entitled 
me  to  the  privilege,  but  I  do  not  think  you  will  suspect  me  of  a 
desire  to  dictate.  Indeed,  I  feel  that  I  am  very  unworthy,  and 
would  affectionately  persuade  you  to  trust  in  Him  who  proved  to  me 
so  merciful. 

"  It  is  not  probable  that  upon  earth  we  shall  exchange  a  greeting, 
but  I  pray  that  we  may  meet  in  a  world  of  light  and  love." 

"Oci  31si.  —  Late  as  it  is,  I  must  record  the  visit  I  have 
received  from  two  aged  servants  of  God,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  C, 
from  Scotland.  After  Mr.  C.  had  prayed  most  sweetly,  I 
asked  him  what  he  thought  the  best  means  of  growing  in 
grace.  With  inimitable  simplicity  of  manner  he  replied, 
'Grow  downward,'  and  remarked,  'We  grow  most  in  grace 
when  we  most  deeply  feel  our  nothingness.'  Heavenly 
Father,  wilt  Thou,  for  Jesus'  sake,  bless  to  my  soul  this 
counsel,  so  much  in  accordance  with  Thy  Word.  Last  Sun- 
day, and  the  two  Sundays  previous,  I  was  at  church,  and  the 
last  time  received  the  Communion  with  great  comfort.  When 


322  LETTERS.  [1843. 

I  I'eflect  upon  my  own  sinfulness,  and  the  amazing  mercy  I 
have  received,  not  only  in  the  redemption  of  my  soul  by  the 
blood  of  Jesus,  but  in  the  communion  I  am  permitted  to  enjoy 
with  my  Father  in  Heaven,  I  feel  that  '  He  leadeth  sinners 
in  the  way.'  " 

To  J.  n.  S. 

"I  think,  my  dear  cousin,  our  Heavenly  Father  has  been  very 
kind  to  have  thus  placed  you  under  such  healthful  influences,  and 
you  cannot  imagine  how  earnest  is  my  desire  that  you  may  be  a  very 
eminent  Christian,  only  satisfied  with  the  best  gifts.  There  is  so 
much  danger  of  lowering  the  Christian  standard — of  learning  to  look 
upon  religion  as  one  of  the  needful  things,  rather  than  as  the  '  one 
thing  needful,'  that  I  think  of  you  and  Robert  with  constant  solici- 
tude ;  though  I  trust  our  Father  in  Heaven  will  enable  you  to  '  press 
towards  the  mark.' 

"  Dear  Howard,  I  trust  that  the  service  of  your  God  will  ever  be 
your  recreation,  and  that  you  will  make  His  glory  your  constant  aim. 
I  often  think  of  Dr.  Bedell's  advice,  '  Keep  up  the  same  earnestness 
and  strife  in  religion  as  if  you  knew  yourself  to  be  in  a  state  of  na- 
ture.' If  we  were  to  seek  sanctification  as  earnestly  as  we  implored 
the  pardon  of  our  sins,  how  rapidly  we  might  progress  !  Oh,  ray  dear 
cousin,  let  us  pray  for  more  grace,  let  us  seek  entire  sincerity  and 
holy  earnestness, — above  all,  simple  faith  in  Jesus. 

"  If  you  should  become  a  clergyman,  I  want  you  to  take  your 
divine  Master  and  His  Apostles  for  your  model.  I  would  not  that 
by  you  any  Christian  heart  should  be  made  heavy,  as  mine  has  some- 
times been,  by  the  inconsistency  of  Jhose  who  ought  to  be  examples 
of  all  that  is  lovely  and  of  good  report.  And  yet  it  has  often  been 
my  privilege  to  see  the  Redeemer's  image  impressed  upon  those  who 
teach  His  truth,  and  I  often  return  grateful  thanks  for  their  refresh- 
ing counsel.     *     *     * 

To  R.  S. 

"Dec.  28,  1843. 

"  I  have  not  been  in  debt  to  you  very  long,  dear  Robert,  but  I 
feel  desirous  that  you  should  receive  an  assurance  of  our  sj^uipathy 
with  your  new  hopes,  and  our  thankfulness  to  the  Father  of  the 
f\itherless  for  having,  as  I  trust,  adopted  you  into  His  family.  I 
was  not  surprised  by  the  arrival  of  this  good  news,  for  I  felt  so  much 
faith  and  enlargement  in  prayer  for  you  that  I  expected  some  bless- 
ing was  in  store.     *     *     *  .         . 


1843.]  ENCOURAGEMENT.  323 

''  When gave  her  heart  to  her  Heavenly  Father,  slie  prayer- 
fully resolved  that  no  one  who  belonged  not  to  His  family  should 
ever  be  regarded  as  her  dearest  friend,  and  I  trust  this  resolve  will 
be  also  yours,  dear  liobert.  It  will  be  in  compliance  with  some 
very  decided  injunctions  of  Scripture,  and  I  trust  this  blessed  volume 
will  ever  be  '  a  lamp  unto  your  feet,  and  a  light  unto  your  path.'  I 
do  not  suppose  that  this  subject  is  one  of  peculiar  interest  to  you, 
but  it  is  well  to  have  decided  views. 

"Jan.  Qth — I  have  been  unwillingly  compelled  to  postpone  until 
now  th-e  completion  of  my  letter.  The  close  of  the  year  was  accom- 
panied by  many  feelings  of  deep  solemnity,  much  regret  that  I  had 
not  more  rapidly  progressed  in  spiritual  knowledge,  and  an  earnest 
desire  to  realize  more  entirely  the  value  of  the  immortal  souls  around 
me,  the  love  of  our  crucified  Redeemer,  my  unworthiness  of  so  much 
mercy,  and  my  obligation  to  consecrate  every  affection  and  energy 
to  Him  whose  goodness  leads  us  to  repentance. 

"  My  dear  cousin,  no  words  can  express  the  desire  I  feel  that  you 
should  be  entirely  devoted  to  His  service.  Tears  of  mingled  grati- 
tude to  God,  and  interest  in  your  welfare,  fill  my  eyes,  and  many 
prayers  for  you  ascend  to  our  Father  in  Heaven.  Yes,  dear  Robert, 
He  is  our  Father,  orphans  as  we  are,  and  will  give  us  better  gifts 
than  the  most  tender  earthly  parents  can  bestow.  Let  us  then  trea- 
sure no  feelings  of  sadness,  but  with  cheerful  confidence  pour  out 
our  hearts  in  prayer  and  praise.  How  comprehensive  the  injunction 
contained  in  the  13th  verse  of  the  5th  chapter  of  James !  How 
much  would  its  uniform  observance  restrain  the  excess  of  mirth  and 
despondency.  There  is  so  much  danger  of  forgetting  our  Heavenly 
Father  when  we  are  very  glad  or  very  sorrowful ! 

"  You  speak,  dear  Robert,  of  an  increasing  realization  of  your  un- 
worthiness, and  of  the  deep  depravity  of  your  nature,  and  this  I 
hope  is  a  good  ^ign.  Dr.  Bedell  used  to  say  that  the  dust  and  cob- 
webs which  may  have  accumulated  in  a  darkened  room,  are  only  dis- 
covered when  light  is  admitted ;  and  so  when  the  Holy  Spirit  shines 
into  the  sinner's  mind,  he  discerns  the  corruption  which  has  been 
always  there,  but  of  which  the  darkness  of  an  unregenerate  mind 
has  kept  him  in  ignorance.  Oh  that  the  axe  may  be  laid  to  the  root 
of  every  sinful  propensity,  for  there  is  no  safety  but  in  deep  humility 
and  self-distrust !  But  if  we  look  on?}/  to  our  hearts,  we  shall  learn 
not  only  sinful  doubts  but  utter  despair.  We  must  not  forget  that 
'the  blood  of  Jesus  Christ  cleanseth  from  all  sin,'  and  that  'no 
extremity  of  guilt  or  misery  can  come  up  to  Christ's  nitermost.'  'He 


324  ENCOURAGEMENT.  [1843. 

is  able  to  save  to  the  uttermost  all  them  that  come  to  God  by  Him, 
seeing  He  ever  livelli  to  make  intercession  for  us.'  Dear  Robert, 
pray  over  these  promises,  and  with  '  the  shield  of  faith  quench  all 
the  fiery  darts  of  the  wicked.' 

"  You  say  you  feel  almost  tempted  sometimes  to  regret  the  solemn 
step  you  have  taken.  Would  it  not  be  better,  my  dear  cousin,  only 
to  regret  that  you  did  not  more  fully  realize  its  responsibility,  and 
earnestly  pray  for  grace  to  discharge  it,  now  that  it  is  incurred  ?  I 
know  it  is  your  desire  'to  be  faithful  until  death,'  and  if  you  will 
only  look  unto  Jesus,  the  Author  and  Finisher  of  our  ftiith,'  He  will 
enable  you  to  resist  every  temptation.  In  meditation  upon  His  word 
and  character  you  will  find  the  spiritual  joy  you  so  much  desire.  I 
trust  you  will  find  that  '  the  joy  of  the  Lord  is  your  strength.'     * 

"I  pray  that  you  may  be  directed  into  the  path  which  the  Lord 
has  appointed  you.  If  His  glory  be  your  aim,  His  will  your  guide, 
He  will  cause  you  to  '  hear  a  voice  behind  you,  saying.  This  is  the 
way,  walk  ye  in  it.'  I  should  be  delighted  to  learn  that  you  had 
determined  to  be  a  herald  of  the  Cross,  but  would  not  dictate  in  so 
important  a  matter,  though  I  have  often  prayed  that  this  may  be 
your  privilege,  if  it  be  our  Father's  will.  I  would  not  that  you 
should  make  this  choice  without  a  very  decided  impression  of  duty. 
I  will  often  pray  that  you  may  be  guided  aright.  I  feel  for  you  a 
sister's  interest,  and  wish  you  to  give  me  a  brother's  confidence. 

***<<!  wish  to  tell  you  how  glad  I  am  that  you  pray  for 
us.  Do  pray  for  us  daily,  and  even  more  frequently.  Ask  that  we 
may  be  humble,  watchful,  trusting.  Pray  for  a  class  of  children  I 
see  on  Saturday  afternoons,  and  for  some  boys  who  come  on  Tuesday 
evenings  to  learn  of  Jesus.  Implore  our  Father  to  give  me  patience 
and  firm  trust  to  the  end,  and  forget  not  to  thank  Him  for  all  He 
has  done  for  your  unworthy  cousin.  Pray  that  my  motives  may  be 
pure.  Pray  that  in  my  last  hour  I  may  '  fear'  and  '  find  no  evil.'  I 
do  not  fear  it,  for  Jesus  loves  His  own  to  the  end."     *     *     * 


CHAPTER  XV. 

1844. 

Letters  of  Friendship  —  Recollections  of  her  Motlier — Visit  from  an 
Afflicted  Friend  —  Dr.  Clark's  Death  —  Letters  to  Miss  B. — Letter 
to  a  bereaved  Mother  —  The  Laud  far  away. 

To  the  Rev.  J.  H.  S. 

"  Greenwood,  April  2G,  1844. 

"I  HAVE  thought  very  often  of  you  and  dear  R.,  my  beloved 
cousin,  since  the  removal  of  your  Pastor,  for  I  feel  interested  in  all 
your  joys  and  sorrows,  and  can  so  well  sympathise  with  you  in  the 
bereavement  which  has  caused  you  both  to  suffer  so  greatly.  I  have 
loved  Mr.  Jackson  for  your  sakes,  since  I  learned  that  he  had  been 
so  great  a  comfort  and  blessing  to  my  orphan  cousins,  and  have  often 
realized  that  it  was  the  loving-kindness  of  our  Heavenly  Father 
which  placed  you  under  the  guardianship  of  so  kind  and  faithful  a 
spiritual  friend. 

"  I  knew  that  you  loved  him  with  filial  affection,  and  greatly  prized 
his  counsel,  so  that  his  departure,  —  I  will  not  say  death,  for  he  has 
only  'gone  before,'  —  is  to  you  a  peculiar  affliction,  but  I  need  not 
remind  you  that  it  was  kind  in  our  Father  to  remove  His  servant  to 
his  heavenly  home,  and  I  trust  that  experience  has  taught  you  how 
precious  is  the  consolation  he  pours  into  the  wounded  heart. 

''I  should  love  to  see  you,  dear  H.,  and  then  we  could  talk  and 
pray  together  over  our  losses  and  our  home.  I  fear  you  sometimes 
feel  very  desolate,  but  trust  the  spirit  of  adoption  is  ever  richly 
granted  you,  and  that  you  are  always  enabled  to  rejoice  that  you  are 
*a  fellow-citizen  with  the  saints  and  of  the  household  of  God.'  Spi- 
ritual ties  are  very  strong,  and  spiritual  intercourse  one  of  the  most 
exalted  enjoyments  of  earth.  To  the  Christian,  every  disciple  of 
Jesus  is  a  beloved  friend,  every  temple  erected  to  the  Triune  God 
a  home  for  his  heart. 

''  I  am  very  glad  that  you  expect  to  receive  your  theological  edu- 
cation at  Alexandria.     I  do  not  believe  you  will  regret  this  decision. 

28  (325) 


326  LETTERS.  [1844. 

I  have  heard  much  of  this  institution,  which  has  sent  forth  some  of 
our  best  clergymen.     *     *     * 

''  My  health  varies  very  little,  but  does  not  improve,  upon  the 
■whole,  though  I  have  been  riding  several  times  this  spring,  and  once 
to  church  in  my  little  wagon.  When  I  go  to  church,  I  am  carried 
up  stairs,  and  recline  upon  a  settee  in  the  gallery,  which  is  appro- 
priated to  the  choir  and  Sunday  School  children,  so  that  I  have  a 
very  comfortable  location  there.  Do  pray  that  an  increase  of  spiritual 
interest  may  be  granted  to  this  parish.     *     *     * 

"  Oh,  H.,  I  have  some  news  to  tell  you,  which  will  inspire  you 
with  gratitude  and  delight.  My  own  dearW.  has  become  decidedly 
religious,  and  was  confirmed  at  the  Epiphany  a  few  Sundays  ago. 
'  0  magnify  the  Lord  with  me,  and  let  us  exalt  His  name  together 
for  this  rich  blessing,  and  pray  that  I  may  prove  my  gratitude  by 
more  entire  conformity  to  His  will.  And  pray,  too,  for  W.,  for  he 
is  much  exposed  to  temptation.  Oh,  that  we  maybe  ever  taught  by 
the  Spirit,  surrendering  ourselves  with  child-like  obedience  to  His 
holy  guidance.  I  do  pray  for  you  every  day,  for  ten  thousand  dan- 
gers are  around  us,  and  I  desire  that  you  may  'put  on  the  loliole 
armor  of  God.'  It  is  so  important  to  listen  to  every  whisper  of  the 
Holy  Spirit,  for  many  who  were  very  zealous  in  a  spiritual  course 
become  less  vigilant,  and  then  how  perceptible  is  the  change  !  Oh, 
Howard,  let  us  look  to  Jesus,  our  only  hope ! 

To  W.  A.  N. 

"Greenwood,  June  21,  1844. 
'Am  I  mistaken  in  the  impression  that  the  21st  of  June  is  my 
W.'s  birthday?  I  am  not  certain  of  this;  but  will  at  all  events 
gratify  the  desire  I  feel  to  write  to  him  a  letter  of  affectionate  con- 
gratulation upon  the  increased  'joy  and  peace  in  believing,'  which 
have  been  poured  into  the  heart  of  my  loved  one  by  '  the  Giver  of 
every  good  and  perfect  gift.'  Oh,  remember  the  promise,  '  Open 
thy  mouth  loide,  and  I  will  fill  it.'  Be  not  satisfied  with  ordinary 
measures  of  grace,  for  though  an  earthly  being  may  be  wearied  by 
importunity,  our  Father  in  Heaven  beholds  with  approbation  the 
intense  desire,  the  confident  expectation  of  rich  blessings.  'I  shall 
be  satisfied  when  I  awake  with  Thy  likeness/  will,  I  trust,  be  the 
increasing  aspiration  of  our  souls. 

*  I  thirst,  but  not  as  once  I  did, 

The  vain  delights  of  earth  to  share ; 
Thy  wounds,  Immanuel,  all  forbid 
That  I  should  seek  my  pleasure  there. 


1844.]  LETTERS.  327 

It  Tvas  the  si<i;ht  of  Thy  dear  Cross 

First  wean'd  my  soul  from  earthly  things, 
And  taught  me  to  esteem  as  dross 

The  mirth  of  fools  and  pomp  of  kings. 
I  want  that  grace  that  springs  from  Thee, 

That  quickens  all  things  vrhere  it  flows, 
And  makes  a  wretched  thorn  like  me, 

Bloom  as  the  myrtle  and  the  rose. 
Dear  Fountain  of  delight  unknown, 

No  longer  sink  below  the  brim. 
But  overflow,  and  pour  me  down, 

A  living  and  life-giving  stream.' 

" '  Whosoever  will,  let  him  take  of  the  water  of  life  freely.' 
'  Therefore  with  joy  shall  ye  draw  water  out  of  the  wells  of  salvation.' 
Many  and  many  an  aspiration  of  thanksgiving  has  ascended  from 
my  heart,  for  the  loving-kindness  which  has  made  my  precious  boy 
a  partaker  of  the  blessedness  whicb  religion  only  can  impart.  I  can 
truly  say,  dear  W.,  that  I  have  yearned  over  you  *  in  the  bowels  of 
Christ  Jesus.'  I  have  prayed  with  many  tears,  and  now  I  rejoice 
with  great  joy  that  the  blessing,  so  ardently  implored,  has  been 
vouchsafed. 

"But  so  Meceitful  and  desperately  wicked'  is  the  human  heart, 
so  varied  and  seductive  the  temptations  of  the  world,  and  so  unwea- 
ried the  devices  of  Satan,  that  if  it  were  not  for  the  confidence  I  feel 
that  our  merciful  Father  will  carry  on  the  work  He  has  so  graciously 
commenced,  my  heart  would  be  filled  with  anxiety.  There  is  tempt- 
ation all  around  us,  my  dearest  boy;  danger  intrudes  into  our  holiest 
services  and  our  consecrated  places.  I  have  often  listened  to  the 
petition,  '  Pardon  the  iniquity  of  our  holy  things,'  and  I  have 
thought  it  a  most  appropriate  prayer;  for  how  sadly  do  our  wander- 
ing thoughts  and  manifold  corruptions  defile  our  spiritual  sacrifices ! 
And  yet,  they  are  accepted  for  the  sake  of  our  great  High  Priest, 
who  sprinkles  them  with  His  blood  and  offers  His  own  availing 
intercession.  He  is,  dear  W.,jitst  such  a  Saviour  as  we  need,  and 
the  best  way  to  grow  in  grace  is  to  reflect  constantly  upon  His  cha- 
racter and  oflBces.  This  was  always  tbe  counsel  of  my  departed 
Pastor, —  his  unfailing  and  evcr-welcorae  theme  —  Jesus,  Jesus.  To 
*  know  nothing  but  Jesus  Christ  and  Him  crucified,'  is  to  be  wise, 
indeed ;  to  have  made  the  highest  attainment  in  theology. 

'<  May  the  Eock  of  Ages  ever  be  your  shelter  from  false  doc- 
trine, infidelity,  presumption  and  doubt.  Tears  come  into  my  eyes 
with  the  realization  that  this  is  a  most  blessed  and  a  very  peaceful 


328  LETTERS.  [1844. 

resting-place.  Surely  /s^liould  never  have  found  it,  if  ours  'were  not 
a  God  of  long-sufferins:  and  infinite  mercy ;  for  a  more  unworthy  pil- 
grim docs  not  shelter  there.  There  may  we  be  found  in  the  hour 
of  death  and  the  day  of  judgment ! 

'*  I  have  heard  the  remark  that  we  ought  to  make  as  earnest  efforts 
to  obtain  salvation  as  though  success  depended  upon  ourselves,  and 
yet  ever  feel  that  in  ourselves  we  can  do  nothing;  and  this  I  think 
is  very  good  counsel. 

"  'As  a  man  soweth,  so  shall  he  reap,'  and  we  should  ever  realize 
that  in  all  we  say,  and  do  and  think,  we  are  sowing  either  to  the 
flesh  or  to  the  Spirit.  I  need  not  say  how  desirous  I  feel  that  the 
precious  truths  of  Scripture  should  be  our  constant  study  and  delight 
■ — the  throne  of  grace  our  spirits'  home.  We  have  often  talked  of 
heavenly  things,  and  I  trust  we  shall  often  speak  together  words 
taught  us  by  the  Holy  Spirit,  Oh  !  that  we  may  become  more 
bumble,  more  earth-weaned  every  day,  for  we  have  much  to  learn." 

To  Miss  L.  B. 

"  Our  intercourse  has  been  greatly  interrupted,  dear  Lucie;  I  have 
not  been  well  enough  to  visit  you,  as  I  hoped  to  have  done  ere  this, 
and  I  have  not  commanded  time  and  strength  together  to  write  you 
even  a  note.  Sometimes  I  have  been  too  sick  to  write  at  all,  and  at 
others  occupied  with  duties  which  seemed  to  me  imperative.  I  have 
thought  of  you  very  often,  and  am  glad  to  hear  of  your  improved 
health.     *     *     * 

"I  feel  deeply,  as  you  may  well  suppose,  the  departure  of  my 
much-loved  Pastor,  and  have  prayed  much  that  it  may  teach  me  spi- 
ritual lessons.  For  some  years  p^st  he  has  been  my  chosen  coun- 
sellor, and  his  sympathy  has  been  one  of  my  greatest  earthly  com- 
forts. What  a  blessing  that  our  great  '  High  Priest  ever  liveth'  I 
He  comforts  me  when  beloved  ones  are  removed;  and  physical  suf- 
fering would  overcome  me,  were  not  His  love  my  consolation,  and 
His  strength  made  'perfect  in  my  weakness.'  Most  of  all,  I  love 
my  Saviour,  because  He  has  died  to  atone  for  my  sins.  But  I  do 
not  love  Him  as  I  ought.  We  must  ask  for  each  other,  dear  Lucie, 
an  increase  of  holy  affection  ever  proven  by  implicit  obedience. 

"Are  you  growing  in  grace?  Does  your  spiritual  joy  increase? 
The  Scriptures  assure  us  that  '  the  path  of  the  just  is  ns  the  shining 
light,  which  shineth  more  and  more  unto  the  perfect  day.'  I  trust 
it  will  be  thus  with  you,  dearest  one,  for  I  can  truly  say,  '  I  am  jealous 
over  you  with  godly  jealousy.' 


1844.]  DIARY.  329 

"  I  was  reading  yesterday  a  sermon  of  Bishop  Heber's  upon  the 
vigilance  of  our  great  adversary,  the  artfulness  with  which  he  adapts 
temptations  to  our  temperaments  and  circumstances,  which  made  me 
feel  very  deeply  the  importance  of  constant  watchfulness."    *    *    * 

To  the  same. 

"It  gives  me  comfort  to  know  that  you  receive  so  many  proofs  of 
kindness  in  addition  to  the  devoted  attention  of  your  own  family. 
Kindly  offices  have  been  lavished  upon  me  since  I  have  been  an 
invalid,  and  I  know  how  refreshing  they  are.  It  is  our  Father  in 
Heaven,  dear  Lucie,  who  inclines  our  earthly  friends  to  be  so  kind, 
and  who  surrounds  us  with  comforts.  Oh,  let  us  pray  for  more 
gratitude,  deeper  humility  and  more  fervent  love.  I  think  the 
'goodness  of  God'  should  '  lead  us  to  repentance,'  if  no  other  motive 
were  strong  enough.     *     *     * 

"I  trust,  dear  Lucie,  j'ou  are  learning  more  and  more  the  blessed 
lesson  of  simple  reliance  upon  our  crucified  Saviour.  I  do  so  much 
love  the  2d  chapter  of  Ephcsians.  I  think  it  would  comfort  you  to 
pray  it  over.  Oh,  that  you  would  always  look  unto  Jesus,  the  Sun 
of  righteousness:  what  bright  rays  would  shine  upon  your  heart ! 
2  Cor.  4  :  G.     *     *     * 

"  I  do  trust  that  your  example,  your  indifference  to  scenes  of 
unsan stifled  pleasure,  may  prove  to  your  friends  a  rich  spiritual 
blessing. 

'As  by  the  light  of  opening  day, 

The  stars  are  all  concealed, 

So  earthly  pleasures  fade  away 

When  Jesus  is  revealed.'  " 

"Sunday,  July  14f A,  1844.  —  This  night  five  years  since 
was  the  one  which  preceded  the  eternal  day  she  is  now  enjoy- 
ing, for  '  there  is  no  night  there.'  My  thoughts  of  my  mother 
are  too  sacred  for  utterance.  They  lie  deep  in  my  heart, 
save  when  I  ask  my  Heavenly  Father  to  give  me  strength  to 
bear  her  loss,  or  praise  Him  for  having  taken  her  to  dwell 
Avith  Him.  I  do  sometimes  try  to  speak  of  her,  but  I  cannot 
as  I  would.  If  my  frame  were  not  so  weak  I  would  make  a 
strong  eifort  to  do  so  often.     I  have  never  felt  any  thing  but 

28* 


330  DIARY.  -  [1844. 

submission  to  the  will  of  God  in  this  bereavement,  and  His 
comforts  have  refreshed  my  soul  so  abundantly  that  I  can 
comprehend  the  expression,  'We  glory  in  tribulation.'  Yet 
I  do  miss  my  mother.  My  appreciation  of  her  character, 
exalted  as  it  was  while  she  was  with  me,  continually  increases. 
Often,  when  I  have  witnessed  the  blind  indulgence  of  other 
parents,  I  feel  glad  that  she  was  so  decided,  so  solicitous  for 
our  real  good. 

"  I  love  to  think  of  the  undeviating  integrity  of  her  char- 
acter, her  hospitality,  her  anxiety  for  the  spiritual  welfare 
of  others,  her  love  for  the  disciples  of  Jesus,  her  tenderness 
towards  her  own  children,  her  joy  when  we  confessed  Christ 
before  men.  I  love  to  tliink  of  her  as  she  sat  by  her  little 
table  early  in  the  morning,  and  read  the  pages  of  God's  Word 
and  her  Prayer-Book,  Avhich  now  contain  so  many  pin-marks 
which  she  placed  there. 

"  She  loved  family  prayer  so  much  !  I  remember  how  glad 
I  was  when  she  opened  the  way  for  it  by  asking,  one  evening 
when  I  was  attending  to  my  devotions,  if  I  would  not  pray 
aloud.  From  that  night  we  surrounded  the  family  altar,  and 
thus  my  long-cherished  desire  was  granted.  Lord,  I  bless 
Thee  —  I  magnify  Thy  holy  name  ! 

"  24/7;.  —  I  do  love  my  Heavenly  Father  for  His  kindness 
to  His  afflicted  children.  My  beloved  Dr.  B.  has  been  hero 
this  morning,  and  though  his  daughter  slept  in  Jesus  but  a 
week  since,  he  is  enabled  to  '  rejoice  with  joy  unspeakable.' 
Her  departure  was  most  peaceful,  and  during  her  illness  she 
was  favored  with  bright  spiritual  light.  He  said  to  her  once, 
'  Good  night,  God  bless  you ;'  and  she  replied,  '  Father,  He 
always  does  bless  me.'  Our  God  is  good  and  merciful,  and 
'  His  children  are  only  blessed.  I  have  often  thought  that  if 
religion  were  nothing  worth,  save  in  the  hour  of  adversity,  it 
would  be  well  to  secure  it,  that  we  might  possess  its  conso- 
lations  then.     But  it  is  a  blessed  portion   at   all  times, — ■ 


1844.]  DIARY.  331 

always  brighter  and  holier  than  aJl  other  sources  of  enjoy- 
ment," 

The  allusions  in  the  foregoing  extracts  to  the  Rev.  John 
A.  Clark,  discover  Miss  Allibone's  high  appreciation  of  that 
faithful  servant  of  Christ,  as  well  as  her  strong  personal 
attachment  to  one  whom  she  regarded  as  her  Pastor.  It  was 
with  extreme  but  chastened  grief  that  she  first  witnessed  the 
decline  of  his  health,  and  then  learned  that  upon  earth  she 
should  see  his  face  no  more.  She  deeply  felt  the  loss  of  his 
pastoral  visits  which  had  proved  such  a  consolation  and 
refreshment  to  her  spirit  under  the  depression  of  illness,  and 
fondly  cherished  the  memory  of  his  prayers  and  counsels. 
Linked  by  strong  bonds  of  affection  and  congeniality  to 
numerous  Christian  friends,  Miss  Allibone's  heart  often  felt 
pangs  of  the  final  parting,  and  mourned  the  loss  of  those 
whom  she  had  confidently  expected  to  precede  to  the  eternal 
world.  But  she  wept  their  departure  as  though  she  wept 
not,  for  she  looked  forward  to  a  speedy  reunion  with  conge- 
nial spirits  in  that  city  which  hath  foundations,  whose  builder 
and  maker  is  God ;  and  whoever  was  taken  away,  Jesus 
remained  to  fill  the  void  and  heal  the  wound. 

"  I  have  said  nothing  in  my  Diary  of  my  Pastor's  depart- 
ure, but  oh  !  I  have  felt  it  deeply,  and  realize  more  and  more 
that  I  have  lost  one  of  my  best  friends :  the  one  who  talked 
to  me  most  of  Jesus,  and  was  the  greatest  blessing  to  my  soul. 
Now  that  the  summer  has  returned  I  miss  his  visits  more,  but 
I  am  glad  he  has  gone  to  Heaven. 

"I  wish  all  clergymen  were  as  profitable  as  he  —  as  ready 
to  converse  upon  heavenly  things.  I  hope  our  Pastor's 
prayer  for  our  family,  '  May  the  Lord  bless  you  and  yours, 
and  bring  you  to  His  everlasting  kingdom,'  may  be  answered. 
He  said  but  the  day  before  his  death,   '  My  hope  is  Jesus, 

Jesus.' 

'  Oh  !  may  the  music  of  Thy  name 
Piofreyh  itii/sovA  in  doatli.'" 


332  LETTER.  [1844. 

To  Miss  B. 

"Greenwood,  Aug.  5,  1844. 
"  I  received  your  sweet  letter,  dearest  Lucie,  and  have  intended 
replying  to  it  before  this  morning;,  but  as  usual  have  been  much  en- 
gaged. I  do  not  mean  that  I  have  always  been  usefully  occupied, 
for  I  have  reason,  too  frequently,  to  reproach  myself  for  wasting  pre- 
cious time.  I  am  glad  that  you  are  enjoying  yourself  so  much,  and 
trust  that  you  will  indeed  be  blessed  to  all  around  you.  Is  it  not 
delightful  that  our  Father  in  Heaven  is  willing,  as  well  as  able,  to 
guide  us  under  all  circumstances? 

*'  I  should  have  enjoyed  having  you  with  me  in  the  sick  chamber 
of  a  very  pious  woman  residing  in  our  neighborhood.  She  had  been 
a  communicant  in  the  Episcopal  Church  when  in  Ireland,  and  wished 
to  receive  the  sacrament  in  her  room.  Our  young  Rector  administered 
it  twice  to  her,  and  I  doubt  not  that  it  was  much  enjoyed  by  her. 
She  died  this  week,  and  was  interred  in  our  church-yard.  Once,  in 
conversing  with  her,  I  spoke  of  the  temptations  of  the  adversary : 
her  answer  was,  'I  never  let  him  in.'  I  never  saw  her  in  the  least 
degree  desponding,  and  although  suffering  from  a  very  painful  disease, 
her  trust  in  God  appeared  unshaken.  She  has  left  three  children, 
and  has,  I  hope,  already  met  some  of  her  departed  ones  in  Heaven. 
"A  woman,  afflicted  with  consumption,  living  a  short  distance 
from  us,  appeared  entii-ely  satisfied  with  her  state  of  mind,  and  was 
confident  she  would  go  to  Heaven.  No  representations  of  truth 
seemed  to  affect  her;  she  still  rested  upon  her  sandy  foundation, 
until  a  few  days  before  her  death,  when  she  sent  for  me,  and  said, 
*I  have  not  been  converted,  and  I  want  you  to  convert  me.'  I  told 
Ler  that  I  could  not  convert  her,  but  could  try  to  lead  her  to  Jesus. 
She  was  certainly  much  more  interested  than  she  had  formerly  been, 
but  whether  she  ever  became  converted,  I  do  not  know.  Her  friends 
thought  that  her  end  was  peaceful,  but  it  is  so  natural  to  cling  to 
every  hope,  that  we  cannot  place  much  confidence  in  that.  A  dear 
little  girl  between  nine  and  ten  years  of  age  is  also  very  sick,  and  I  do 
hope  that  she  will  be  changed  before  she  is  called  away.  Do  pray, 
dearest  Lucie,  that  my  heart  may  be  fully  prepared  to  speak  'a word 
in  season'  to  every  one  with  whom  I  may  have  intercourse.  I  think 
in  visiting  the  sick  peculiar  grace  is  needed,  for  any  unwise  counsel 
might  prove  ruinous. 

"I  know  that  you  would,  dear  Lucie,  enjoy  these  visits,  and  might 
prove  much  more  useful  than  your  unworthy  friend.     If  you  would 


1844.]  LETTER.  333 

sing  your  '  Emerald  Gates'  to  some  dying  believer,  it  might  cheer 
the  heart  and  reanimate  the  faith,  and  I  am  sure  that  I  should  find 
you  a  pleasant  companion  by  the  wayside.     *     *     * 

"  Oh  Lucie,  we  had  such  a  sweet  visit  from  my  beloved  Dr.  B., 
who  had  lost  (for  a  little  while)  a  lovely  daughter  the  week  before, 
and  though  his  heart  was  deeply  wounded,  it  was  most  merci- 
fully bound  up.  His  conversation  was  refreshing,  and  his  prayer 
truly  affecting.  His  Father  in  Heaven  had  taught  him  to  '  glory  in 
tribulation.'  Is  not  such  a  religion  as  this  worth  more  than  earth 
can  give  ?  After  he  left,  the  rain  began  to  fall,  but  the  sun  still 
shone,  and  I  thought  it  was  thus  with  our  friend.  The  Sun  of 
Righteousness  penetrated  even  the  clouds  of  sorrow.  And  then, 
when  the  rain  ceased.  His  rays  became  most  brilliant.  All  nature 
was  irradiated.  In  that  blessed  land,  of  which  the  Lamb  is  the  light, 
dear  Lucie,  the  darkness  of  sorrow  and  of  sin  will  come  no  more  for 
ever.  Oh  that  we  may  be  made  '  meet  for  the  inheritance  of  the 
saints  in  light !' 

"  I  knew  our  Father  in  Heaven  would  be  kind  to  you,  my  precious 
one,  and  therefore  was  not  surprised  to  learn  that  Christian  society 
and  opportunities  of  usefulness  have  been  granted  you;  and  these 
are  two  sources  of  deep  interest  and  delight.  I  do  not  think  any 
society  very  interesting,  from  which  we  cannot  derive,  or  to  whom 
we  cannot  impart  benelit.  *  *  *  I  have  thought  of  you  with 
peculiar  interest  on  Sunday,  and  prayed  that  you  might  consecrate 
it.  It  requires  much  grace  to  do  this,  when  absent  from  home,  but 
how  much  better  to  appear  rude  to  those  around,  than  to  offend  the 
King  of  kings  !  I  think  the  two  last  verses  of  the  58th  of  Isaiah  an 
excellent  guide  upon  this  subject.  May  the  Lord  be  with  you,  '  my 
dearly  beloved  and  longed-for,'  and  sanctify  you  wholly  for  our  Sa- 
viour's sake."     *     *     * 

^^Aug.  25t7i,  Sunday  evening,  —  Answered  prayer. 

"(9ef.  IWi.  —  The  society  of  Christians  gives  me  exquisite 
delight.  No  words  can  describe  it.  I  have  had,  this  even- 
ing, a  most  refreshing  visit  from  the  Rev.  Mr.  P.  I  hope  it 
may  prove  a  lasting  blessing.  I  felt  very  sorrowful  when  he 
first  came,  for  my  darling  Lucie  expects  to  go  to  the  South 
next  week.  She  is  one  of  my  greatest  comforts,  and  best 
loved  Christian  friends ;  but  our  Father's  will  be  done. 

"  I  feel  very  much  obliged  to  Caroline  Fry  for  the  remark, 


334  LETTER.  [1844. 

in  reference  to  the  religious  instruction  of  children,  that  it  is 
our  duty  to  fill  the  water-pots  with  water — it  is  our  Saviour's 
province  to  turn  the  water  into  wine. 

"  I  have  felt  too  anxious  about  the  spiritual  coldness  which 
seems  to  pervade  so  many  around  me.  I  have  not  trusted 
enough.     Lord,  I  leave  all  to  Thee.     Increase  my  faith." 

To  Miss  B. 

"  Greenwood,  Nov.  1,  1844. 

"'I  hoped,  dearly  beloved  in  the  Lord,'  that  I  should  have  written 
you  a  long  letter  this  evening,  but  I  was  interrupted  by  a  visit  from 
our  new  cook,  a  remarkably  worthy  girl,  whom  I  had  invited  to 
come  to  my  room  at  some  leisure  hour,  for  I  think  it  very  important 
to  ascertain  the  spiritual  state  of  domestics.  How  glad  I  am  that  she 
came,  for  I  believe  the  Holy  Spirit  is  striving  with  her.  She  seems 
very  unhappy,  and  it  is  so  delightful  to  remind  her  of  the  promise, 
'  Come  unto  Me,  and  I  will  give  you  rest.'  When  I  endeavor  to 
recommend  the  Saviour,  I  feel  so  entirely  convinced  that  He  is  just 
such  a  Friend  as  is  needed,  that  He  is  looking  down  from  His  Holy 
Throne  with  unutterable  love,  that  I  can  scarcely  wait  until  He  be 
accepted  and  rejoiced  in. 

"  Many  a  time  I  have  returned  thanks  that  to  you,  my  darling 
Lucie,  has  been  granted  an  increased  realization  that  '  He  is  able  to 
save  to  the  uttermost;'  and  I  pray  that  you  may  ^grow  in  grace, 
and  in  the  knowledge  of  our  Lord  and  Saviour  Jesus  Christ.'  You 
are  under  the  guidance  of  the  Shepherd  of  Israel  in  all  your  wan- 
derings, and  I  doubt  not  that  He  so  continually  removes  you  from 
your  best  loved  earthly  counsellors,  that  you  may  tx'ust  more  im- 
plicitly to  Him.  I  should  feel  very  uneasy,  if  I  did  not  hope  that 
His  Spirit  will  direct,  reprove  and  console  you.  I  should  fear  that 
the  interruptions  of  travelling,  and  the  excitement  of  new  scenes, 
would  sometimes  induce  you  to  omit  seasons  for  retirement  which 
might  possibly  be  secured;  and  I  should  sometimes  think  that  since 
you  now  enjoy  so  much  spiritual  comfort,  you  might  perhaps  be 
tempted  to  become  less  watchful,  and  forget  that  we  need  for  each 
hour  new  supplies  of  grace.  Not  that  I  have  observed  such  tenden- 
cies as  these,  in  the  least  degree,  but  I  know  that  Satan  adapts  our 
temptations  to  the  circumstances  in  which  we  are  placed.  I  will  not 
doubt,  however,  that  you  will  be  enabled  to  pursue  an  onward 
course  j  and  I  love  my  Heavenly  Father  better  for  his  kindness  to 


1844.]  CONSOLATION.  335 

my  darling  friend.  My  wishes  for  you  are  most  emphatically  ex- 
pressed in  the  last  few  verses  of  the  third  chapter  of  Ephesians  (a 
most  blessed  epistle).  Pray  over  these  passages,  dearest.  How  de- 
lightful is  the  first  chapter  of  Colossians  !  I  often  pray  that  /may 
'be  strengthened  with  all  might,  according  to  His  glorious  power, 
unto  all  long-suffering  with  joyfulness.' 

''  Do  you  not  find  it  difiicult  to  consecrate  the  Sabbath  as  you 
wish '{  I  think  watchfulness  in  this  respect  is  a  very  correct  tost  of 
Christian  character;  and  yet  we  often  meet  with  sad  disappointments 
in  this  respect,  even  in  those  who  seem  regardful  of  other  Christian 
duties.  I  often  think  of  a  remark  contained  in  Dr.  Bedell's  Way 
Marks,  '  We  must  not  look  to  Christians,  but  to  Christ,  for  a  pat- 
tern.' Is  it  not  an  unspeakable  comfort  that  there  is  one  Being 
who  is  '  holy,  harmless  and  undefiled.  I  think  we  are  too  much 
disposed  to  depend  upon  our  most  prized  Christian  friends,  to  almost 
forget  that  they  too  are  very  sinful.     *     *     * 

"  I  agree  with  all  you  say  about  the  blessedness  of  Christian  fel- 
lowship. We  ought  to  pray,  '  Let  those  that  fear  Thee  turn  unto 
Me,  and  those  that  have  known  Thy  testimonies.' '' 

To  Mrs.  J. 

"  Greenwood,  Dec.  4,  1844. 

"  It  is  a  source  of  regret  that  I  cannot  more  frequently  enjoy  your 
society,  my  dearest  Mrs.  J.,  and  I  have  been  wishing  for  a  long  time 
to  write  to  you  a  letter,  and  tell  you  some  of  the  affectionate  thoughts 
which  warm  my  heart. 

"I  shall  never,  forget  how  kindly  you  encouraged  my  desire  to 
learn  more  of  my  heavenly  Father's  love — the  readiness  with  which 
you  conversed  with  me  upon  the  responsibilities  of  a  Christian 
course,  and  the  practical  lessons  by  which  your  precepts  were  en- 
forced. 

"  Your  sympathy,  too,  was  so  acceptable  when  our  precious  mother 
was  removed  to  a  better  world,  for  you  too  had  been  taught  lessons 
of  bereavement,  and  you  had  learned  to  weep  with  those  that  weep 
for  the  departure  of^oved  ones,  and  to  rejoice  too  that  those  loved 
ones  had  gone  to  Heivon. 

'^uijain  for  yourself  you  weep,  while  you  rejoice,  for  you  are  glad 
indeed  that  this  lamb  is  folded  in  the  Saviour's  bosom,  but  you  miss 
her  sweet  voice,  and  her  lovely  face,  and  those  clustering  ringlets. 
You  cannot  talk  to  her  any  more  of  our  Saviour's  love,  you  cannot 
press  her  to  your  bosom  with  yearning  such  as  a  mother  only  knows. 


336  CONSOLATION.  [1844. 

This  must  often  agonize  your  soul.  May  God  bless  and  comfort 
you,  my  own  loved  friend,  and  enable  you  to  glorify  Him  as  He  has 
given  you  grace  to  do  in  seasons  of  past  sori'ow.  His  Spirit  has 
already  whispered  thoughts  of  peace,  and  proved  Himself  the  Com- 
forter, and  He  will  be  with  you  still  to  raise  your  heart  to  Heaven, 
You  listen  no  longer  to  the  merry  laugh  of  your  beautiful  little 
Mary,  but  she  has  learned  celestial  melody. 

"  How  joyously  must  the  angelic  Host  welcome  to  their  glorious 
Home  the  spirits  of  little  children  !  We  love  them  tenderly,  but  we 
gaze  upon  their  sunny  faces  with  melancholy  interest,  for  we  know 
they  will  be  clouded  with  sorrow  and  with  sin,  and  we  long  to  look 
upon  the  impress  of  our  Saviour's  image  there.  We  would  shield 
them  from  unholy  influences,  but  they  are  all  around,  and  we  feel 
that  we  know  less  than  we  would  teach  them  of  heavenly  things. 
Ought  we  not  then  to  feel  thankful  when  our  Heavenly  Father  shel- 
ters them  for  ever  from  the  temptations  of  the  world,  and  teaches 
them  celestial'  lessons  ? 

"  I  have  thought  with  so  much  sympathy  of  your  dear  husband, 
and  have  often  asked  our  Father  in  Heaven  to  comfort  him.  I 
think  he  can  well  understand  the  meaning  of  the  assurance,  '  Like 
as  a  Father  pitieth  his  children,  so  the  Lord  pitieth  them  that  fear 
Him.' 

"I  remember  how  sweetly  he  talked  to  me  of  the  ^ages  to  come,' 
in  which  *  God  will  show  the  exceeding  riches  of  His  grace,  in  His 
kindness  towards  us  through  Christ  Jesus.'  I  have  loved  him  better 
ever  since.     Will  you  not  both  come  to  see  us  very  soon  ? 

"  Will  you  not  pray,  my  ever  kind  friend,  that  I  may  derive 
deeper  instruction  from  the  bereavement  I  still  so  keenly  feel  ?  I 
think  affliction  increases  our  responsibility  so  much,  and  I  wish  to 
learn  every  lesson  our  merciful  Father  would  teach  me,  but  I  must 
prove  this  by  more  diligent  attention  to  His  instructions.  I  have 
learned  that  He  is  the  '  Father  of  mercies  and  God  of  all  com- 
fort !'  " 

'the   land  far  away. 

'  There  are  bri^^ht  homes  'mid  bowers  of  deathless  glory, 

There  are  blue  skies  o'erbending  them  in  love  ; 
Sweet  winds,  that  never  sighed  round  ruins  hoary, 

Or  sung  the  autumn  requiem  of  the  grove. 
There  are  fair  flowers  by  crystal  waters  springing, 

That  never  bore  the  semblance  of  decay  ; 
On  the  soft  air  their  perfumed  incense  flinging, 

In  a  land  far  away. 


1844.] 


POETRY.  337 


'  There  on  the  mountain  tops  the  day  declining, 

Ilath  never  caused  a  twili,ii;ht  shade  to  rest ; 
Each  hath  an  altar  to  Jehovah,  shining 

With  sunlike  brightness  in  the  valleys  blest. 
And  there  are  dwellers  in  these  scenes  of  gladness. 

O'er  whose  pure  being  death  can  have  no  sway, 
Whose  voices  utter  not  a  tone  of  sadness, 

In  a  land  far  away. 

'  Cherub  and  Seraphim  of  glory,  bending 

In  holy  rapture  at  the  Throne  of  Light, 
Angels  and  saints  their  songs  of  triumph  blending  — 

These  are  the  dwellers  in  that  region  bright. 
And  some  have  walked  with  iis  the  path  of  sorrow. 

And  felt  the  storms  of  many  a  wintry  day. 
But  oh,  they  Vakened  to  a  glorious  morrow, 

In  a  land  far  away. 

*  Thou  best  and  dearest,  ever  gentle  mother ! 

Who  soothed  me  in  thy  circling  arms  to  rest ; 
Stilling  the  cries  that  would  have  vexed  another. 

By  folding  me  with  love  upon  thy  breast ; 
Green,  o'er  thy  grave,  for  years  the  long  grass  sighing, 

Has  seemed  to  mourn  above  thy  mouldering  clay. 
But  well  I  know  thy  spirit  dwells  undying. 

In  a  land  far  away. 

'  And  shall  we  weep  for  those  to  joy  departed, 

Or  grieve  to  see  the  captives  burst  their  chain? 
Sick  as  we  are,  and  sad  and  weary  hearted. 

Would  we  recall  them  to  the  earth  again  ? 
See  where  they  dwell  —  the  forms  we  loved  and  cherished, 

From  age  dim-eyed  with  hair  of  silver  grey. 
To  the  fair  babe  that  like  a  blossom  perished  — 

In  the  land  far  away. 

There  He  whose  brightness  suns  and  stars  are  veiling, 

Whose  form,  once  seen,  would  blind  our  mortal  eyes, 
With  Him  who  bore  unmoved  the  scoffer's  railing. 

And  died  to  give  us  entrance  to  the  skies; 
Father  and  Son  and  ever-blessed  Spirit, 

By  their  glad  presence  make  eternal  day; 
Oh,  glorious  are  the  homes  the  good  inherit  — 

In  a  land  far  away.' 

w  29 


338  INCREASING    ILLNESS.    .  [1844. 

"  I  know  this  beautiful  poetry  will  give  you  pleasure,  dear  Mrs. 

J.,  and  I  think will  like  it.     Do  give  my  love  to  him  most 

affectionately. 

*  *  *  a  That  holy  consolation  may  be  ever  yours,  praj's  your 
affectionate  friend.  Susan." 

Growing  debility  caused  the  entries  in  Miss  Allibone's 
Diary  to  become  every  year  fewer,  while  at  the  same  time  her 
correspondence  was  increasing,  and  occupied  most  of  the 
hours  that  she  could  give  to  writing.  Full  notes  w^ere,  how- 
ever, made  for  a  number  of  years  by  one  who  was  seldom  ab- 
sent from  her  side,  of  conversations  and  incidents  in  ■which 
she  took  part,  extracts  from  which  the  author  has  kindly 
received  permission  to  introduce.     Such  is  the  following : 

"  I  remarked,  to-day,  to  Susan,  in  reference  to  a  previous 
conversation,  that  the  Lord  found  work  for  her  to  do.  She 
repeated  the  passage,  '  He  giveth  power  to  the  faint,  and  to 
them  who  have  no  might.  He  incrcaseth  strength,'  and  said 
it  was  one  of  her  favorite  promises." 


CHAPTER  XVL 

1845. 

Letters  to  Miss  B.  —  Missive  of  Consolation  in  Illness  —  Visit  to  her 
Friend's  Death-bed  —  Departing  in  Peace  —  Projected  Memoir  — 
Piece  written  in  an  Album  —  Thoughts  suggested  by  Flowers  —  Let- 
ters containing  allusions  to  Miss  B, 

To  Miss  B. 

"  Greenwood,  Jan.  9,  1845. 

"  If  it  were  in  my  power  to  resort  to  a  less  mechanical  mode  for 
the  expression  of  feeling,  I  should  have  long  since  assured  you,  my 
dearest  Lucie,  of  my  unabated  affection.  I  have  vainly  wished  to 
secure  time  for  this  most  agreeable  employment;  for  I  always  love 
to  have  intercourse  through  any  medium  with  one  towards  whom 
my  heart  so  warms  with  affection,  and  with  whom  I  so  much  love 
to  converse  upon  our  common  hopes  and  responsibilities,  and  our 
heavenly  home.  How  are  you,  my  beloved  one  ?  Is  your  health 
improving,  and  are  you  comfortably  situated  ?  Have  kind  Southern 
hearts  received  and  reciprocated  kindly  feelings,  and  have  the 
disciples  of  Jesus  caused  you  to  forget  that  you  are  in  a  land  of 
strangers  ?     *     *     * 

"  I  was  reading  a  little  book  this  morning,  which  reminded  me  of 
some  of  our  conversations  and  of  some  remarks  contained  in  your 
last  letter.  You  speak  of  cold  affections,  unbelief  and  other  spiritual 
adversaries,  and  all  you  say,  mine  own  one,  I  fully  believe.  Ten- 
derly as  I  love  you,  sincere  as  I  know  you  to  be,  I  doubt  not  that 
you  are  '  sore  let  and  hindered  in  running  the  race  that  is  set  before 
you.'  My  Bible  tells  me  that  our  nature  is  corrupt,  observation 
confirms  the  assertion,  and  alas !  experience  re-echoes  it  most 
mournfully. 

"  Let  us  ever  rejoice  that  '  help  is  laid  upon  One  that  is  mighty.' 
Would  that  we  both  lived  in  the  act  of  constantly,  simply  hanging 
upon  the  righteousness  of  the  Kighteous  One  !     That  from  the  mo- 

(339) 


340  LETTERS.  [1845. 

ment  of  rising  up  till  that  of  lying  down,  every  deed,  every  thought, 
every  wish,  every  motive,  weighed  in  the  balance  and  found  wanting, 
were  thrown  away  as  detested  things;  and  that  from  each  we  turned 
anew  to  the  fountain  ever  open  'for  sin  and  for  uncleanness,'  and 
anew  perceiving  that  Christ  is  made  unto  us  redemption,  full,  com- 
plete redemption;  went  on  in  the  strength  of  the  Lord  our  God, 
making  mention  of  His  righteousness,  and  of  His  only.  '  Give  all 
up  to  Him,  for  as  free  grace  offers,  so  unfailing  truth  performs,  and 
glorious  love  will  alone  be  exalted.'     *     *     * 

''  E.  E..,  a  sweet  little  girl  of  ten  years  old,  is  one  of  my  greatest 
pets,  and  you  must  pray  that  I  may  prove  a  blessing  to  the  dear 
child.  She  attends  the  Saturday  afternoon  class,  and  listens  with 
intense  interest.  I  am  glad  you  are  endeavoring  to  obey  our 
Saviour's  injunction,  '  Feed  my  Lambs.'  Tell  them  much  of  the 
great  Shepherd,  and  earnestly  implore  Him  to  lead  them  into  '  the 
green  pastures'  of  eternal  life;  and  I  doubt  not  your  petitions  will 
be  answered.  I  think  it  most  important  to  study  the  lesson  with 
much  prayer,  and  to  try  to  convince  them  that  the  Bible  is  the  most 
attractive  of  books.  I  try  to  indoctrinate  my  little  pupils  more  than 
I  once  did,  for  they  are  so  exposed  to  the  arguments  of  infidelity. 
And  yet  there  is  danger  of  suggesting  doubts,  unless  we  be  very 
careful.  I  think  it  best  to  teach  them  again  and  again  the  deep 
corruption  of  our  nature,  the  need  of  atoning  blood,  and  to  impress 
the  doctrine  of  the  divinity  of  Christ;  always  to  refer  them  to  the 
Scriptures  as  the  test  of  truth,  and  to  cause  them  to  commit  pas- 
sages to  memory.  I  think,  too,  it  is  useful  to  read  appropriate 
anecdotes,  and  to  tell  them  to  the  children.  But  I  hope,  dear  Lucie, 
you  do  all  this  better  than  I.  If  you  have  the  opportunity  of  private 
conversation  with  your  scholars,  you  can  do  more  good.  If  they  are 
large  enougli  to  write,  it  would  be  well  to  adopt  Miss  E.'s  plan  of 
giving  each  a  written  question  every  week.  This  plan  elicits  the 
expression  of  feeling.     *     *     * 

"  You  ask  me  if  I  do  not  think  that  unbelief  is  often  the  offspring 
of  earthly  affections.  Indeed  I  do,  dearest  Lucie.  We  must  not  go 
away  from  the  Sun  of  righteousness  if  we  would  reflect  His  beams. 
Oh  !  that  grace  may  be  given  us  to  depend  only  on  Him,  'in  whom 
is  no  variableness,  neither  shadow  of  turning.'  I  often  think  of  the 
expression,  'My  soul,  wait  thou  only  upon  God,  for  ray  expectation 
is  from  Him.'  In  such  an  expectation  there  can  be  no  disappoint- 
ment " 


1845.]  LETTERS.  341 

To  the  same. 

"Greenwood,  March  17,  1845. 

"  It  does  seem  a  long,  long  time,  my  precious  friend,  since  you 
left  us,  and  I  have  often  thought  when  I  have  been  unusually  free 
from  interruption,  how  much  I  should  love  to  have  you  with  me. 

"I  love  winter,  and  am  sorry  to  see  it  pass  away,  but  trust  the 
birds  and  blossoms  of  spring  will  remind  me  of  the  goodness  of  the 
Lord.  It  is  well  that  you  are  not  here  now,  for  I  feel  almost  certain 
that  you  would  be  ill.  The  air  is  damp  and  penetrating.  Even  I, 
who  have  been  almost  entirely  confined  to  my  room,  have  felt  its 
influence  very  much,  and  have  not  been  nearly  as  well  for  a  month 
past.  I  am  just  now  suffering  from  an  attack  of  intermittent  fever, 
and  ought  not  to  write  even  these  few  lines.  The  Doctor  says  he  is 
not  at  all  discouraged  about  me,  but  attributes  my  increased  indis- 
position to  the  weather.  His  treatment  has  been  productive  of  more 
benefit  than  I  ever  expected  to  have  derived  from  any  source,  and 
a  few  weeks  since  my  improved  appearance  excited  the  surprise  of 
my  friends.  I  did  not  then  feel  desirous  to  recover,  nor  am  I  grieved 
by  this  unfavorable  change. 

'  My  times  are  in  Thy  hand  ! 

My  God  !  /  loish  them  there; 
My  life,  my  friends,  ray  soul  I  leave 
Entirely  to  Thy  care. 

My  times  are  in  Thy  hand  ! 

Why  should  I  doubt  or  fear  ? 
My  Father's  hand  will  never  cause 

His  child  a  needless  tear.' 

"I  have  been  very  anxious  to  try  to  comfort  you  in  reference  to 
your  anticipated  removal.  If  it  be  indeed  accomplished,  and  I  live 
until  then,  I  shall  myself  need  consolation,  for  you  are  unspeakably 
dear  to  me,  and  your  society  one  of  my  greatest  sources  of  enjoy- 
ment. But,  dearest  Lucie,  we  must  not  forget  the  promise  that 
'  all  things  shall  work  together  for  good  to  them  that  love  God.' 
Pray  for  grace  to  imitate  the  example  of  Him  who  'went  out,  not 
knowing  whither  He  went.'  Doubt  not  that  you  shall  '  be  led  forth 
with  peace,'  if  you  go  at  our  Heavenly  Father's  bidding,  and  that 
lie  will  either  grant  you  religious  privileges,  or  grace  to  depend  still 
more  simply  upon  Him,  '  the  Fountain  of  living  waters,'  than  when 
surrounded  by  the  means  of  grace  you  love  so  well.  Still  I  know 
that  spiritual  light  alone  can  irradiate  this  prospect.     It  is  painful, 

20  * 


342  LETTERS.  [1845. 

indeed,  for  a  clinging  heart  like  yours  to  be  torn  from  loved  ones, 
and  from  a  sanctuary  so  richly  visited  with  the  dews  of  heavenly 
grace,  but  you  may  be  spared  the  trial. 

'  When  the  heart  by  grief  is  riven, 
Strength  is  promised,  strength  is  given; 
But  foredate  the  day  of  woe, 
And  alone  thou  bear'st  the  blow.' 

"  Oh,  Lucie,  how  can  any  one  deny  the  atoning  merits  of  Ilim 
■who  'was  wounded  for  our  transgressions'?  How  it  does  warm  the 
heart  to  read  the  53d  chapter  of  Isaiah  with  prayer !  I  cannot  be- 
lieve that  any  one  is  safe  who  rejects  this  only  appointed  means  of 
salvation.  Oh,  I  am  so  thankful  that  Jesus  died  for  me !  I  am  so 
sinful  and  so  sick,  that  I  meed  just  such  a  Saviour. 

'  Only  Jesus  would  I  know. 
And  Jesus  crucified.' 

"And  yet  I  fear  you  think  I  love  Him  better  than  I  do.  Pray 
often  and  earnestly  that  ray  heart  be  filled  with  love  and  gratitude." 

To  the  same. 

"  Greenwood,  May  13,  1845. 

"  I  always  lift  up  my  heart  in  prayer  that  I  may  be  taught  what 
to  write  to  you,  my  precious  Lucie,  but  now  I  need  especial  ai<l.  I 
could  not,  nor  would  I  if  I  could,  express  the  deep  sorrow  which  the 
prospect  of  our  separation  even  for  a  little  while  has  caused  me  to 
suifer,  but  would  rather  tell  you  that  I  feel  perfectly  submissive  to 
our  Heavenly  Father's  will,  and  commit  you  to  His  keeping  with 
perfect  confidence  that  He  will  do  all  things  well.  I  thank  Him  for 
this  'present  help  in  time  of  trouble,'  for  you  are  one  of  my  choicest 
treasures,  and  only  to  the  '  sure  mercies'  of  our  best  Friend  am  I 
willing  to  entrust  you.  Have  I  not  often  told  you  that  He  would 
never  forsake  you?  I  was  not  surprised  to  learn  from  your  dear 
mother's  kind  letter,  for  which  I  feel  very  thankful,  that  you  are 
peaceful  and  trusting. 

"  Oh,  how  often  my  heart  is  with  you,  and  how  great  a  privilege  I 
should  have  deemed  it  to  have  hastened  to  you  long  ago  !  It  may  be 
that  we  shall  again  lift  up  our  hearts  and  voices  in  united  thanksgiving 
and  fervent  prayer,  my  own  one.  And  thonhsgivivfj  will  become  us 
best,  for  we  are  sinners,  washed  in  the  blood  of  the  Lamb  ;  sufferers, 
sustained  by  the  loving-kindness  of  our  Father  in  Heaven  ;  pilgrims, 


1845.]  LETTER.  343 

perhaps  almost  in  view  of  our  Heavenly  home, — '  a  city  which  hath 
foundations,  whose  Maker  and  whose  Builder  is  God,' — and  when 
we  enter  this,  '  our  purchased  possession,'  we  shall  sin  no  more,  and 
sujGfer  no  more,  and  go  no  more  out  for  ever.  Our  friends  have  asked 
for  us  life,  but  God  will  give  us  '  long  life,  even  for  ever  and  ever.' 
Truly,  ours  is  '  a  goodly  heritage/ 

"  Oh,  Lucie  !  what  shall  I  say  of  Heaven  ?  I  have  just  turned  to 
my  blessed  Book  of  Promises,  and  I  read  there  of  '  rest,'  '  a  crown 
of  life,'  'fulness  of  joy/  'an  inheritance  incorruptible  and  undefiled.' 
The  sun  shall  not  light  on  you  there,  dearest,  nor  any  fervent  heat,  but 
the  Lamb  is  the  light  of  the  eternal  city.  Think  of  that,  Lucie ! 
You  are  rejoiced  now  when  you  behold  a  ray  of  the  Sun  of  righteous- 
ness ;  there  no  cloud  of  doubt  intervenes,  but  '  sacred,  high,  eternal 
noon'  shines  with  brilliancy  which  will  not  dazzle.  Therefore,  with 
tearful  eyes  I  congratulate  you,  dearest. 

'  We  need  not  grudge  thee  to  the  skies, 
Sure  after  thee  in  time  to  rise 
With  thee  for  ever  dwell.' 

"  Pray  for  me  earnestly,  Lucie ;  for  if  you  leave  me  I  will  need 
support.  Your  love  has  cheered  me,  and  when  we  have  talked 
together  of  our  Saviour's  love,  I  have  been  much  refreshed.  I  have 
gone  to  the  throne  of  grace  to  ask  blessings  for  you,  and  God  has 
poured  into  my  own  soul  His  holy  comforts,  and  renewed  dependence 
upon  His  promises.  Ask  Him  to  make  me  deeply  humble,  to  fill 
my  heart  with  godly  sorrow,  and  to  enable  me  to  ever  realize  the 
all-suflficieucy  of  my  Saviour's  blood.  I  may  linger  long  upon  the 
earth,  or  soon  I  may  be  called  away.  Oh  !  that  '  whether  I  live, 
I  may  live  unto  the  Lord :  or  whether  I  die,  I  may  die  unto  the 
Lord.'  '  Oh,  Lord,  in  Thee  have  I  trusted ;  let  me  never  be  con- 
founded.'    *     *     * 

"  I  have  not  said  enough  of  Jesus,  but  the  Holy  Spirit  is  teaching 
you  more  than  I  can  say.  '  Look  unto  Him,'  if  the  enemy  would 
distress  you ;  let  your  soul  say  to  Him  who  hath  redeemed  it,  '  I  flee 
unto  Thee  to  hide  me.'  Oh,  that  your  lips  may  be  opened  to  speak 
His  praise.  Trust  your  loved  ones  to  Him ;  He  pities  them,  and 
He  can  comfort.  My  love  to  them  most  tenderly.  I  need  not  say 
that  I  often  ask  for  them  the  help  they  need. 

"  Farewell,  my  cherished  one,  deep  in  my  heart's  affections, 
beloved  of  the  Lord,  safe  in  the  covenant  of  grace, —  farewell!  fare- 
well! Susan." 


344  COMMUNION     OF     SAINTS.  [1845. 

''  '  He  hath  said,  I  will  never  leave  thee  nnr  forsake  thee.' 
'*■  '  Ilis  name  shall  be  called  Jesus,  for  He  shall  save  His  people 
from  their  sins.'  " 

The  last  exceedingly  beautiful  and  comforting  letter  was 
suggested  by  the  intelligence  of  the  increased  and  alarming 
illness  of  Miss  Allibone's  endeared  young  friend.  The 
balmy  Southern  air,  -which  had  been  sought  on  her  behalf, 
failed  to  restore  health  to  the  sinking  frame.  Disease  made 
sure  and  rapid  advances,  and  was  only  so  far  held  in  check 
as  to  enable  the  declining  invalid,  in  the  early  summer,  to 
return  to  the  society  of  her  prized  Christian  friends  in 
Philadelphia.  Miss  Allibone's  last  journey  to  the  city  of  her 
birth  was  a  farewell  visit  of  aifectionate  sympathy  to  her 
dying  sister  in  Christ.  Herself  too  feeble  to  walk,  she  was 
carried  to  the  apartment  of  her  friend,  and  laid  beside  her 
on  her  couch.  The  interview,  under  circumstances  of  so 
much  solemnity,  was,  as  might  be  supposed,  of  the  most  ten- 
derly affecting  character.  But  although  the  angel  of  death 
cast  the  dark  shadow  of  his  wing  over  the  two  friends, 
reunited  for  a  little  moment,  so  speedily  to  part  again,  there 
was  no  tinge  of  gloom  or  sadness  in  their  intercourse.  The 
Saviour,  the  object  of  their  joint  hope  and  trust,  was  with 
them  both,  to  comfort  and  sustain  their  souls.  They  took 
sweet  counsel  together,  bowed  with  one  heart  and  voice 
before  the  mercy-seat,  and  conversed  much  of  the  better,  the 
heavenly  country,  now  opening  in  its  surpassing  loveliness 
before  their  assisted  vision,  and  especially  of  the  King  of  the 
country,  '  Avhom  having  not  seen  they  loved.'  No  doubts  or 
misgivings  clouded  the  prospect  of  the  dying  one.  All  was 
bright,  and  peaceful,  and  clear  and  sure.  Death  was  swal- 
lowed up  in  victory.  Truly  thankful  was  Miss  Allibone  for 
the  privilege  of  accompanying  her  cherished  friend,  as  far  as 
mortal  step  might  venture,  into  the  valley  of  the  shadow  of 
death.  How  much  of  consolation  she  Avas  the  insti'ument  of 
imparting  may  be  well  imagined  from  the  foregoing  specimen 


1845.]  A    DEATH-BED. 


345 


of  their  correspondence.  Whether  communing  with  each 
other,  orally  or  bj  letter,  their  conversation  was  such  as 
becometh  saints ;  and  the  yxjunger,  whom  the  Lord  was  now 
transplanting  to  his  Paradise,  had  been  for  years  the  docile, 
loving  pupil  of  her  more  matured  and  experienced  sister. 

Miss  Allibone  prepared  a  notice  of  her  beloved  Lucie's 
closing  hours,  which  was  published  in  the  Episcopal  Recorder, 
marked  by  her  characteristic  tenderness  of  affection  and  ele- 
vation of  pious  sentiment.     She  also  meditated  the  giving  to 
the  world  a  memoir  of  her  departed  friend,  chiefly  impelled 
by  the  hope  that  so  attractive  an  example  of  youthful  piety 
might  prove  a  blessing  to  many  around  whom,  in  the  morn 
of  life,  the  world  cast  its  fascinations ;  and  she  had  selected, 
as  an  appropriate  title  of  the  simple  biography,  the  words, 
"  Reflected  Light."     This  purpose,  however,  was  not  carried 
out.     In  her  sketch  of  her  friend,  Miss  Allibone  writes  :  — 
"  She  lies  in  her  almost  seraphic  beauty,  with  the  hectic  flush 
on  her  cheek,  and  the  brilliant  light  in  her  eye,  with  which 
consumption  decks  his  victims,  heightened  by  the  glory  of 
her  almost  realized  hopes,  looking  already  like  one  of  the 
spirits  of  light,  who  rest  not  day  nor  night,  praising  the 
Lamb.     The  voice  of  prayer  and  promise  is  seldom  stilled, 
and  the  only  term  that  suggests  itself  to  those  who  are  per- 
mitted to  listen  to  her  is  '  heavenly  music'     Friend   after 
friend  is  presented  in  fervent  prayer  at  the  throne  of  grace, 
and  not  even  a  draught  of  medicine  or  a  glass  of  water  passes 
her  lips  until  she  has  asked  a  blessing  upon  it.     Even  now, 
on  her  death-bed,  she  pursues  her  missionary  work  which  has 
occupied  her  life  since  she  knew  Jesus ;  and  the  singular  dis- 
crimination with  which  she  selects  books,  suited  to  the  various 
subjects  of  her  afiectionate  interest,  is  most  wonderful  in  one 
so  young.'      "  Her  last  words  were  '  Holy,  holy,  holy.'  " 

From  this  illumined  death-bed  Miss  Allibone  returned  to 
her  own  quiet  apartment,  sorrowful  yet  rejoicing,  deeply  feel- 
ing the  pang  of  the  separation,  but  praising  and  blessing  God. 


346  LETTER.  [1845. 

Her  young  friend  had  preceded  her  to  the  celestial  kingdom, 
but  she  expected  not  to  be  long  behind,  and  the  hope  was  an 
anchor  to  her  soul.  She  thus  refers  to  the  scene  through 
which  she  had  passed,  in  a  letter  to  her  cousin  Robert : 

{From  the  Note-Buoh.) 

"  July  25,  1845. 

"■  I  was  once  a  very  punctual  correspondent,  and  needed  not  to 
commence  every  letter  with  an  apology ;  but  now  I  sometimes  fear 
that  my  friends  will  suspect  me  of  diminished  interest,  though  if 
they  were  fully  aware  of  my  numerous  interruptions  and  physical 
infirmities,  they  would  rather  wonder  that  I  use  the  pen  at  all,  than 
that  I  do  not  write  more  frequently.  And  yet,  I  would  not  that 
you  and  dear  Howard  should  suspect  that  I  regard  my  correspon- 
dence with  you  as  a  task,  only  performed  from  an  impulse  of  duty. 
It  is  to  me  a  selfish  gratification,  for  I  prize  intercourse  with  my 
religious  friends  most  highly,  and  I  love  to  tell  my  adopted  brothers 
how  much  affection  I  feel  for  them,  and  how  I  earnestly  desire  their 
spiritual  prosperity. 

"  I  am  anticipating  Howard's  visit  with  much  pleasure,  and  trust 
lie  will  be  a  great  blessing  to  me,  if  we  be  permitted  once  more  to 
meet.  I  doubt  not  that  he  will  pray  much  for  that  '  preparation  of 
the  heart'  which  our  Father  always  grants  in  answer  to  earnest  and 
believing  prayer.  I  fear  you,  dear  Robert,  will  feel  very  sad  when 
your  brother  leaves  you,  but  I  trust  our  ever-present  Friend  will  be 
your  constant  dependence.  I  often  think  of  the  passage,  '  My  soul, 
wait  thou  only  upon  God,  for  my  expectation  is  from  Him.'  In  this 
expectation  we  can  never  be  disappointed. 

"I  am  going  to  tell  you  now  of  one  of  my  best-loved  Christian 
friends,  who  was  admitted  to  the  glorious  fellowship  of  the  redeemed 
in  Heaven  but  a  few  weeks  since.  I  cannot  describe  to  you  what  she 
was  to  me — a  chosen  spiritual  companion,  a  beautiful,  gentle,  refined 
and  lovely  being,  who  loved  me  with  all  the  enthusiasm  of  a  Southern 
heart,  and  prayed  for  me  with  earnestness  and  faith.  She  became  a 
communicant  of  St.  Andrew's  between  four  and  five  years  since, 
during  a  visit  to  Philadelphia,  and  was  most  sweetly  counselled  by 
my  beloved  Pastor.  She  afterwards  removed  to  Philadelphia,  and 
joined  the  Epiphany.  She  was  very  much  comforted  by  our  Hea- 
venly Father's  blessing  upon  Dr.  Tyng's  instructions.  From  the 
commencement  of  her  religious  course  her  spiritual  desires  were  very 
ardent.     She  remarked  in  one  of  her  letters,  *  I  want  to  be  a  devoted 


1845.]  LETTER.  347 

Christian,  a  second  Anzonctta  Peters.'  Did  you  read  that  book, 
Robert  ?     If  not,  please  get  it. 

"Last  summer  dear  Lucie  visited  the  Sulphur  Springs  of  Vir- 
ginia, and  from  many  sources  we  learn  that  her  eJBForts  were  untiring, 
and  her  deportment  most  watchful  and  consistent. 

^*  Last  autumn  she  was  again  sent  from  home,  poor  child,  and 
great  was  the  trial  of  the  separation  from  her  Church  and  Christian 
friends.  She  went  to  Savannah.  There  she  became  very  ill,  passed 
some  time  in  Virginia  and  Baltimore  on  her  return  to  Philadelphia, 
reached  home  in  June,  lingered  a  ft:w  weeks,  and  then  her  Father 
in  Heaven  recalled  her  spirit,  and  she  will  never  suffer  nor  sin  any 
more,  and  I  am  thankful  and  comforted,  though  my  loss  is  greater 
than  I  can  describe  to  you. 

"I  was  taken  to  the  city  to  be  with  her,  passed  even  the  night  in 
her  room,  for  she  wished  it,  and  listened  with  thankfulness  to  her 
prayers  and  praises.  Sometimes  in  the  night  she  would  take  my 
hand  and  pray  sweetly.  She  said  to  me  one  evening,  when  I  had 
quoted  the  passage,  *  He  shall  feed  His  flock  like  a  Shepherd,'  and 
remarked,  '  Lucie,  you  are  one  of  the  lambs,  and  Jesus  is  carrying 
you  in  His  bosom,'  'Oh,  Susan!  you  don't  know  what  I  am  to 
Jesus,  and  what  Jesus  is  to  me.'  I  wish  I  could  tell  you  many  of 
her  expressions,  but  if  I  could,  I  could  not  convey  to  your  mind  an 
adequate  impression  of  her  angelic  countenance  and  musical  voice. 
She  was  not  twenty-one,  and  v/as  the  most  beautiful  being  I  have 
ever  looked  upon. 

"  If  the  reflected  light  of  the  Sun  of  Righteousness  be  so  radiant, 
shall  we  not  pray  for  more  and  more  of  this  holy  illumination,  and 
rejoice  that  the  Lamb  is  the  light  of  the  home  in  which  we  hope  to 
dwell?  Let  us  give  Him  all  the  glory  of  the  blessings  lie  gives. 
There  is  so  much  danger  of  forgetting  that  the  Christian  graces  which 
make  our  friends  so  lovely  are  imparted.  Surely  those  of  them  who 
are  most  conformed  to  the  image  of  Jesus  would  say  to  us,  '  See 
thou  do  it  not,'  if  they  saw  that  we  were  disposed  to  render  them 
homage.''     *     *     * 

''^Aug.  Itli.  —  Dear  L.  says  she  is  sometimes  too  weak  to 
do  any  thing  but  lay  her  head  on  the  pillow  and  trust  in  the 
Saviour.  In  speaking  of  attending  church,  which  she  much 
desired,  she  said  she  had  'the  hope  of  glory,'  and  must  not 
complain,  if  she  wove  deprived  of  'the  means  of  grace.' 

^'■Sunday,  Sept.  14:th.  —  It  is  really  astonishing  that  dear 


348  LETTER.  [1845. 

S.,  sliut  up  as  she  so  frequently  is  from  the  privileges  pos- 
sessed by  others,  should  be  spiritually  invigorated  and  re- 
freshed, and  so  constantly  supplied  with  opportunities  to  labor 
for  the  salvation  of  souls,  and  the  extension  of  the  Redeemer's 

Kingdom.     This  evening came  up  with  my  Bible,  and 

Susan  made  an  effort  to  interest  and  instruct  her,  which  I 
trust  will  be  blessed.  There  has  not  been  a  domestic  in  the 
family  for  a  long  time,  who  has  required  more  heavenly  wis- 
dom to  teach  judiciously,  as  her  independent  bearing  and  ex- 
pressions were  so  discouraging ;  but  before  she  left  us,  her 
ready  assent  to  the  truths  pressed  upon  her,  her  thanks,  and 
'  God  bless  you,'  proved  that  the  Lord  can  subdue  the  coldest^ 
hardest  heart." 

To  J.  H.  S.  —  {From  her  Diary.) 

"  Greenwood,  Sept.  20,  1845. 

"  I  have  retreated  to  the  neigbborhood  of  the  summer-house,  dear 
Howard,  that  I  may  enjoy  the  pure  air  of  this  lovely  morning,  and 
have  brought  writing  materials,  that  I  may  accomplish  a  letter  to 
you.     *     *     * 

"  I  have  prayed  often  for  you,  since  you  left  me,  but  with  peculiar 
interest  at  the  twilight  hour.  Lucie  told  her  mother  that  it  had  been 
to  her  a  season  of  peculiar  enjoyment.  How  true  it  is  that  the  Lord 
*  hath  not  said  to  the  seed  of  Jacob,  Seek  ye  me,  in  vain.'  '  He 
giveth  power  to  the  faint,  and  to  them  that  have  no  might  He  in- 
creaseth  strength.'     I  do  love  this- assurance  ! 

"I  have  commenced  a  delightful  book,  'Cecil's  Remains.'  Do 
read  it,  if  you  ever  have  opportunity.  I  will  extract  some  remarks 
which  will  interest  and  profit  you.  *  *  *  You  must  pray  that 
our  Heavenly  Father  may  teach  me  how  to  pray  for  you.  I  know 
you  need  many  blessings  in  this  new  position.  I  feel  deep  interest 
in  the  Institution  with  which  you  are  connected,  and  to  which  I  trust 
you  will  be  granted  grace  to  prove  a  blessing,  expecting  nothing  from 
yourself,  and  every  thing  from  Jesus. 

"Dr.  Clark  told  me  once,  that  a  dying  man  had  most  solemnly 
urged  him  to  impress  upon  the  minds  of  clergymen  the  importance 
of  dealing  faithfully  with  the  sick.  He  said  three  clergymen  had 
visited  him,  but  not  one  had  been  personal  in  his  remarks.  He  was 
a  communicant,  but  wished  to  learn  more  of  Christ.  Do  induce  your 


1845.]  ENCOURAGEMENT.  349 

companions  often  to  read  the  Ordination  service  with  prayer.  I 
should  have  messages  for  you,  but  am  quite  alone  here,  among  the 
trees.  Remember  me  affectionately  to  Dr.  May,  and  to  Mrs.  M.,  if 
you  become  acquainted  with  her.  When  you  see  this  uneven  pen- 
manship, you  must  remember  that  I  write  in  my  little  carriage,  with 
the  inkstand  in  one  hand.  I  must  go  up  to  my  Saturday  children. 
Surely,  you  will  always  pray  for  me  on  Saturday." 

^'Sept.  29fh,  1845.  —  I  am  so  encouraged  and  so  thankful. 
Dear  H.  C.  has  been  expressing  desires  which  the  Holy  Spirit 
has  excited,  and  which  I  think  will  result  in  her  conversion. 
It  is  so  sweet  to  talk  of  Jesus  to  a  child  who  desires  to  love 
Him  with  her  whole  heart !  She  evinces  much  interest  in  the 
last  scenes  of  dear  Lucie  s  life,  and  I  should  not  wonder  if 
she  should  greatly  resemble  her. 

"  Oh,  my  precious  Lucie  !  I  have  willingly  surrendered 
thee  to  thy  Heavenly  Father's  keeping, — to  Thy  home  of 
glory;  but  I  cannot  forget  thy  warm  affection,  thy  seraphic 
face,  thy  holy  example,  thy  death  of  light.  I  do  not  think  a 
single  day  passed,  after  the  commencement  of  our  intimate 
acquaintance,  upon  which  my  precious  one  was  not  the  sub- 
ject of  my  thoughts.  Ours  was  no  common  friendship. 
Surely  it  will  be  renewed  in  Heaven.  /  am  not  worthy,  but 
Jesus  is  my  Righteousness. 

"  I  am  sometimes  refreshed  with  delightful  visits  from 
Christians,  but  these  visits  are  now  emphatically  few ;  but 
when  I  am  deprived  of  them  I  am  not  comfortless,  for  Jesus 
teaches  me.     How  wonderful  is  it  that  I  do  not  learn  more !" 

Written  Bee.  5,  1845,  in  an  Album,  near  a  picture  of  the 
Jessamine. 

"  I  shall  always  love  the  jessamine,  for  it  was  dear  Lucie's  favorite 
flower.  A  little  vase  of  it  adorned  her  chamber,  and  there  was  its 
appropriate  place,  for  its  refinement,  gracefulness  and  clinging  nature 
were  emblematic  of  herself. 

"I  wish  you  had  seen  my  friend  a  little  while  before  she  went  to 
Heaven.  Her  dark  blue  eye  beamed  with  unutterable  feeling,  and 
upon  her  brow  was  the  impress  of  deep  peace.     Her  sunny  hair  cur- 

30 


350  A  PICTURE.  [1845. 

tained  her  features  of  exquisite  symmetry,  and  the  hectic  flush,  of 
which  poets  write  so  often,  and  which  friends  gaze  upon  with  tearful 
admiration,  glowed  upon  her  cheek.  It  is  true  she  was  extended 
upon  a  couch  of  suffering,  but  she  knew  that  chastisement  proved 
her  Heavenly  Father's  mercy,  and  she  said  to  Him,  '  I  love  the  pain 
because  Thou  sendest  it.'  Her's  was  a  heart  of  filial  gratitude,  and 
the  blessings  which  descended  from  above  touched  the  chord  of 
praise,  and  awoke  sweet  music. 

"  It  was  very  touching  to  listen  to  her  expressions  of  delight,  when 
some  grapes  and  a  rich  bouquet  were  sent  her.  '  How  beautiful ! 
how  lovely!'  she  exclaimed,  'those  sweet  moss-ro^es,  and  this  exqui- 
site jessamine  !  I  love  them  because  they  are  God's  flowers;'  and 
then  she  threw  her  head  upon  the  pillow,  and  adored  His  goodness 
who  had  gratified  every  taste,  and  given  us  so  many  sources  of  enjoy- 
ment. 

"Do  you  wonder,  dear  L.,  that  this  picture  reminds  me  of  my 
friend  ? 

"  If  there  were  a  rose-bud  in  your  album,  I  should  be  almost 
tempted  to  tell  you  of  another  loved  one  who  sent  me,  from  her 
dying  bed,  some  half  opened  flowers,  with  a  sweet  message  of  Chris- 
tian tenderness.  Thci/  fiided  long  since,  but  not  so  the  memory  of 
my  precious  Margnret.  We  met  under  circumstances  of  sorrow,  for 
she  had  just  lost  her  only  sister,  and  you  know  I  am  an  orphan,  and 
sympathize  with  all  bereavement.  We  loved  each  other  tenderly, 
and  her  nesilected  flowers  were  cultivated  for  me.  We  talked  of 
holy  things,  and  longed  to  dwell  together  in  a  tearless  world. 

"  She  did  not  await  the  hour  of  trial  for  the  surrender  of  her  heart 
to  God,  but  long  before  had  felt  her  sinfulness,  and  fled  to  Jesus  for 
enduring  rest.  Now,  she  was  comforted;  her  sister,  too,  had  been 
a  youthful  disciple  of  the  Redeemer,  and  she  knew  they  would  meet 
again.  Her  hopes  are  realized;  the  parted  ones  sing  in  sweet  con- 
cert Heaven's  melody,  and  I  am  left  on  earth. 

<'  Other  hands  convey  to  me  the  rose-bud  and  the  jessamine.  You, 
dear  L.,  have  cheered  my  heart  with  many  lovely  flowers.  Will  you 
not  ask  Him  who  made  them  to  give  you,  with  dear  Lucie  and  with 
Margaret,  a  resting-place  beneath  the  shadow  of  the  tree  of  life  ?" 

To  3Jiss  W. 

"  Hamiltonville,  Jan.  2,  1847. 
"I  am  unable  to  use  my  pen,  my  dear  Miss  W.,  but  in  accord- 
ance with  Mrs.  B.'s  desire,  I  will  dictate  to  you  a  few  lines. 


1845.]  LETTERS.  351 

"  I  do  not  wonder  that  you  have  been  so  deeply  interested  in  the 
character  of  my  beloved  Lucie,  nor  that  you  feel  so  earnest  a  desire 
to  imitate  her  example.  I  have  many  hallowed  recollections  of  my 
departed  one.  She  diligently  improved  the  means  of  grace,  and  re- 
joiced in  the  hope  of  glory.  Young,  beautiful  and  admired  as  she 
was,  conformity  to  the  image  of  Jesus  was  the  absorbing  desire  of 
her  soul.  Now  '  every  longing  satisfied,  with  full  salvation  blest,' 
she  dwells  in  the  eternal  presence  of  Him  she  loved. 

''Let  vs  also  look  unto  Jesus,  and  He  will  enable  us  to  endure 
the  trials,  and  resist  the  temptations  of  our  earthly  pilgrimage,  and 
then  at  His  right  hand  grant  us  pleasures  for  ever  more. 

"  The  plan  of  salvation  appears  to  me  more  and  more  simple,  and 
I  am  very  sure  we  are  only  truly  happy  when  the  eye  of  faith  rests 
upon  our  all-sufficient  Saviour.  The  Prophet  tells  us,  '  He  shall  be 
called  Counsellor.'  Need  we  then  fear  to  make  known  to  Plim  all 
our  perplexities,  and  to  expect  the  guidance  we  require  ? 

"In  your  situation,  dear  Miss  W.,  I  should  think  the  realization 
of  this  truth  would  be  peculiarly  consoling.  Oh  that  it  may  be  your 
privilege  to  direct  your  pupil  to  this  gracious  Shepherd  and  ]]ishop 
of  souls!  Thus  can  you  best  discharge  your  responsibilities.  In 
sitting  together  at  the  feet  of  Jesus,  you  will  learu  many  sweet  les- 
sons of  redeeming  love  and  sanctifying  grace.  How  my  heart  yearns 
over  youthful  beings  touched  for  the  first  time  with  a  sense  of  their 
spiritual  necessities  !  Their  position  is  indeed  a  critical  one,  and  I 
have  often  watched  them  with  intense  anxiety.  How  prayerfully  and 
diligently  should  we  endeavor  to  convince  them  that  they  must  not 
only  desire  to  become  religious,  but  accept  unreservedly  the  offers  of 
salvation  ;  and  when  the  soul  has  really  fled  to  Christ,  how  important 
it  is  that  an  elevated  standard  of  piety  should  be  presented  to  the 
view  ! 

"  Did  you  ever  read  Dr.  Bedell's  '  Way-marks'  ?  It  has  been  use- 
ful to  me,  and  I  wish  every  one  would  read  it;  but  it  is  better  still 
to  go  to  God's  own  Word  for  counsel.  How  often  have  I  found  my 
desires  still  better  to  love  and  to  understand  this  Book,  greatly  in- 
creased when  I  have  endeavored  to  make  my  own  the  petitions  of 
the  119th  Psalm. 

"  I  think  the  secret  of  dear  Lucie's  growth  in  grace  was  the  ob- 
servance of  stated  seasons  of  prayer.  But  a  little  before  she  went  to 
Heaven,  she  told  her  mother  how  much  she  had  enjoyed  the  twilight 
hour.     Several  times  a  day  it  was  her  custom  to  retire  for  devotion, 


352  LETTERS.  [1845. 

and  many  a  hallowed  twilight  hour  have  we  enjoyed  together.  Shall 
I  not  ask  that  you  and  your  young  friend  will  remember  me  at 
this  season,  and  I  will  implore  the  Father  of  mercies  to  bless  you 
both  ? 

"  May  we  simply  confide  in  His  mercy,  and  may  His  command- 
ment be  written  upon  our  hearts  I     This  is  the  earnest  desire  of 

"S.  A." 
To  J.  H.  S. 

"Greenwood,  Dec.  31,  1845. 
'I  was  expecting  another  letter  from  you,  dear  Howard,  for  I 
knew  you  too  well  to  suppose  you  could  suspect  me  of  forgetful- 
ness.  I  had  been  wishing  to  write  to  you  almost  every  day,  for  weeks 
past,  but  you  know  I  cannot  use  the  pen  in  the  morning  or  evening, 
without  great  inconvenience ;  and  I  cannot  refuse  to  see  my  friends 
who  call,  in  the  afternoon,  with  the  understanding  that  this  is  my 
receiving  time.  And  then,  when  I  can  secure  leisure  for  my  pen, 
an  impulse  of  duty  urges  me  to  write  to  some  one  for  whom  I  can- 
not otherwise  make  an  effort. 

<'  I  have  been  praying  for  direction  in  reference  to  an  undertaking 
I  have  sometimes  almost  purposed  —  a  little  memoir  of  my  departed 
one.  I  could  not  accomplish  this  without  some  different  arrangement 
of  time,  and  I  do  not  feel  justified  in  making  such  a  demand  on  my 
physical  strength,  nor  in  incurring  the  risk  of  intruding  upon  devo- 
tional retirement,  unless  1  can  plainly  discern  that  it  is  my  duty  to 
make  this  effort.  Pray  that  I  may  be  directed.  I  have  been  urged 
by  some  of  my  friends,  and  there  are  very  few  books  written  espe- 
cially for  young  ladies.  Do  not  suppose  I  imagine  myself  the  pos- 
sessor of  much  talent,  but  you  know  a  very  simple  frame  may  be  the 
accompaniment  of  a  rich  picture.  Lucie's  example  may  win  many 
souls  to  Jesus. 

*'I  have  so  much  to  say  to  you  that  I  must  write  on  just  as  though 
I  were  talking,  and  you  will  not  wish  to  criticise.  I  must  first  say 
that  I  am  sincerely  gratified  that  you  are  so  delightfully  situated, 
and  that  you  enjoy  spiritual  comfort.  Oh !  do  cling  closely  to 
the  Cross  of  Jesus,  our  blessed  and  only  Hope.  I  wish,  too,  you 
would  pray  most  earnestly  and  perseveringly  for  my  growth  in  grace. 
1  have  few  friends  whom  I  expect  to  pray  for  me  so  much  as  you 
and  Robert.  I  miss  dear  Lucie's  sympathy,  and  the  communion  we 
enjoyed.  My  soul  would  yearn  for  it,  were  I  not  so  glad  that  Hea- 
ven is  her  home,  and  so  certain  that  I  can  always  go  to  Jesus,  my 


1845.]  LETTERS.  353 

best  Friend.  I  am  often  impressed  by  the  moanino;  of  the  injunc- 
tion, 'Whereto  we  have  already  attained,  let  us  walk  by  the  same 
rule,  let  us  mind  the  same  thing.'  If  wo  have  derived  profit  from 
any  habit  of  watchfulness,  any  appointed  season  of  devotion,  it  seems 
so  important  to  adhere  to  it  closely,  and  then  to  *  press  toward  the 
mark.' 

"Ob,  what  a  solemn  season  is  this!  If  the  omissions  and  com- 
missions of  the  past  year  only  were  pressing  upon  us,  and  we  could 
not  cast  the  burden  at  the  Saviour's  feet,  what  should  we  do  ? 

"  I  do  agree  with  you  in  the  opinion  that  it  is  dangerous  to  dwell 
too  constantly  upon  past  deficiencies.  I  think  we  ought  to  look  first 
to  the  Cross, — then  upon  ourselves, — then  to  the  Cross  again, — and 
thus  we  shall  learn  to  be  grateful,  penitent  and  trusting.  I  have 
more  leisure  for  devotion  than  I  enjoyed  during  the  summer;  and 
this  is  a  rich  blessing,  though  I  do  not  improve  it  as  I  ought.  I 
think,  too, — indeed,  I  know, — that  I  have  more  enjoyment  in  the 
works  of  nature.  I  sit  in  my  rocking-chair,  near  the  window,  and 
enjoy  a  most  delightful  view  of  a  portion  of  the  western  sky,  and  the 
dear  little  church.  Even  from  my  couch  I  can  see  the  clouds,  and 
I  am  more  glad  of  this  than  I  know  how  to  tell  you.  Oh,  Howard, 
I  am  '  the  Lord's  prisoner,'  and  His  presence  more  than  com- 
pensates for  every  privation.     Yet  I  often  grieve  His  Holy  Spirit. 

"  You  ask  about  my  health.  Wonderfully  improved.  I  am  able 
to  walk  to  the  window,  and  the  Doctor  looks  upon  me  with  great 
complacency.  This  change,  however,  may  not  be  permanent,  nor 
have  I  any  preference  that  it  should.  '  Lord,  what  Thou  wilt,  when 
Thou  wilt,  where  Thou  wilt !'  *  *  *  It  is  not  often  that  I 
scribble  so  long  a  letter.  0  that  grace  may  be  given  you  to  act  so 
that  you  may  be  able  to  say  to  others,  '  Those  things  which  ye  have 
seen  in  me,  do.'  I  do  not  doubt  that  you  will  be  considered  too 
strict  even  by  some  theological  students,  but  '  to  the  law  and  to  the 
testimony.'  When  we  measure  our  conduct  by  the  law  of  God,  we 
do  not  congratulate  ourselves  upon  works  of  supererogation.  Pray 
that  I  may  avoid  all  levity.  I  would  rather  that  'the  joy  of  the 
Lord'  should  be  'ray  strength.'  Is  this  a  time  for  unsanctified 
mirth,  or  unprofitable  pursuits,  while  '  the  ways  of  Zion  mourn,  be- 
caufse  so  few  come  to  her  solemn  feasts  ?'  Ought  we  not  to  say  to 
those  who  would  persuade  us  to  seek  recreation  which  leads  the  mind 
from  Heaven,  '  Wist  ye  not  that  I  must  be  about  my  Father's  busi- 
ness V 

X  30* 


354  LETTERS.  [1845. 

"And  then,  too,  tlie  more  watchful  and  prayerful  we  are,  the  more 
tniJy  cheerful  we  shall  be.  This  I  say,  not  as  reproof,  but  as  encou- 
ragement. 

*  *  *  a  J  ijad  a  sweet  visit  from  Mr.  Fowles,  and  was  de- 
lighted with  him. 

"  Tell  your  Louisville  friend  that  I  do  not  forget  his  request,  nor 
am  I  at  any  loss  to  imagine  what  blessings  I  should  implore  for  him, 
because  we  are  not  personally  acquainted.  We,  disciples  of  Jesus, 
know  that 

'  Our  fears,  our  hopes,  our  aims  are  one, 
Our  comforts  and  our  cares.' 

"  Write  whenever  you  find  leisure,  for  I  am  always  glad  to  hear 
from  you." 


CHAPTER  XVII. 

1846. 

New  Year's  Day — Dr.  Judson's  Visit  —  Letters  to  a  Young  Man  —  To 
a  Mourner  —  Visit  from  Bishop  Potter — Increased  Debility  —  Close 
Confinement  —  Dependence  on  Spiritual  Succor  —  Rejection  of  Stimu- 
lants—  Notes  made  in  her  Chamber — Peace  in  Christ  —  Letter  of 
Persuasion. 

"Jaw.  1st,  1846.  — I  am  very  liappy  to-day.  The  promise 
I  Avould  dwell  upon,  and  ask  our  Father  to  fulfil,  is  this  sweet 
assurance :  '  I  will  put  my  Spirit  within  you,  and  cause  you 
to  walk  in  my  statutes,  and  ye  shall  keep  my  judgments  and 
do  them.'  Those  promises  which  tell  us  that  the  Lord  will 
cause,  incline  and  '  work  in  us,  both  to  will  and  to  do  of  His 
good  pleasure,'  I  am  glad  when  I  read.  'The  Lord  pre- 
serveth  His  saints  ;  they  are  preserved  for  ever.'  I  feel,  and 
wish  always  to  feel,  that  I  have  no  power  in  myself  to  help 
myself.  I  like  an  expression  I  lately  read,  which  speaks  of 
the  believer  as  regarding  '  the  Law  as  his  arm,  and  the 
Gospel  as  his  trust.'  This  day  has  been  appointed  for  united 
prayer  for  the  outpouring  of  the  Spirit,  and  when  we  ask  His 
influence  we  ask  every  thing.  Oh,  that  Christians  may  obey 
the  injunction,  '  Ye  that  make  mention  of  the  Lord,  keep  not 
silence,  and  give  Him  no  rest,  until  he  establish,  and  till  He 
make  Jerusalem  a  praise  in  the  earth,' 

'^Feh.  14:th.  —  I  do  love  the  aged  servants  of  Christ.  Old 
age  is  always  interesting,  and  doubly  attractive  when  enriched 
by  Christian  experience.  Oh,  how  cheerless  when  the  Sun 
of  Righteousness  does  not  shine  upon  it ! 

"I  remember  with  peculiar  delight,  and  with  some  profit, 

(355) 


356  DIARY.  [1846. 

a  visit  which  Dr.  Judson,  the  Baptist  missionary,  paid  me  a 
few  Aveeks  since.  His  heart  has  been  broken  and  bound  up, 
and  his  conversation  breathes  the  sweet  fragrance  of  sancti- 
fied affliction.  He  tokl  me  when  he  came  into  the  room  that 
he  was  sorry  to  find  me  thus,  or  perhaps  he  ought  rather  to 
say  glad.  I  told  him  that  w^ould  be  better.  He  then  spoke 
of  the  sufiiciency  of  grace  to  sustain  under  all  suffering,  and 
reminded  me  that  these  are  'light  afflictions,'  and  but  for  a 
moment;  and  then  what  follows?  'An  eternal  weight  of 
glory !'  He  said,  '  The  mercy  we  receive  shows  how  much 
the  Father  loves  the  Son.'  He  prayed  as  though  taught  by 
the  Spirit.  I  am  glad  the  Bible  does  not  lead  us  to  under- 
value those  who  do  not  in  all  things  think  as  v/e  do;  and 
while  St.  Paul  says,  '  Grace  be  with  all  them  who  love  our 
Lord  Jesns  Christ  in  sincerity,'  I  am  in  good  company  when 
I  appreciate  the  image  of  Jesus  wherever  I  find  it.  And  yet 
I  am  not  less  a  true  Episcopalian,  for  ray  love  for  my  own 
dear  Church  is  warm  and  true. 

^^ Sunday,  March  ^th. — I  bless  my  Father  in  Heaven  that 
in  the  midst  of  the  changing  scenes  of  this  sinful  world,  there 
is  such  a  blessed  reality  in  religion.  It  is  so  real,  so  soul- 
sustaining  !  How  much  emphasis  is  there  in  dear  Lucie's 
expression,  'All  is  laid  up  for  me  in  Jesus.'    Oh,  how  much!" 

To   a  Yoimg  Man. 

"  It  would  be  quite  a  gratification  to  me  to  see  you  now,  that  I 
might  tell  you  how  much  I  realize  the  importance  of  the  instant  sur- 
render of  your  heart  to  our  Redeemer's  service  :  but  as  this  cannot 
be,  I  have  determined  that  I  will  dictate  to  you  an  expression  of  my 
interest.  I  have  long  felt  a  very  earnest  desire  that  you  should  be  a 
disciple  of  the  Saviour,  but  have  thought  of  you  lately  with  feelings 
.  of  peculiar  solemnity.     I  cannot  feel  satisfied  until  I  learn  that  the 

only  brother  of  my  beloved has  accepted  the  offers  of  salvation. 

Oh,  how  can  you  lie  down  at  night,  and  pursue  the  employments  of 
the  day,  whilst  the  wrath  of  God  is  abiding  upon  you?  For  surely 
it  does  rest  upon  all  who  have  not  fled  to  Jesus,  flow  will  you  feel 
when  you  descend  into  the  valley  of  the  shadow  of  death,  if  you 


1846.]  LETTERS.  357 

cannot  say  unto  Him,  'Thou  art  with  me'?  And  at  the  judgment- 
seat  of  Christ,  when  the  Judge  of  the  earth  will  appear  in  solemn 
majesty,  and  the  light  of  His  purity  will  discover  the  exceeding  sin- 
fulness of  sin,  how  will  you  feel  if  you  be  not  covered  with  the  robe 
of  righteousness  ? 

'  Oh,  seek  His  grace, 

Whose  wrath  you  cannot  bear, 
Fly  to  the  shelter  of  His  cross, 
And  find  salvation  there.' 

"  It  is  not  because  I  do  not  appreciate  your  strict  integrity,  dear 
-,  that  I  thus  write  to  you ;  it  is  not  because  I  am  ignorant  that 


you  are  an  alFectionate  son,  and  that  you  disdain  the  conduct  of  the 
dissipated  and  immoral.  I  know  your  understanding  is  enlightened, 
your  judgment  convinced  of  the  importance  of  a  religious  life;  but 
is  it  not  a  melancholy  proof  of  the  sinfulness  of  your  heart,  that  it 
has  not  been  long  since  filled  with  the  Saviour's  love  ?  The  impu- 
tation of  ingratitude  towards  an  earthly  friend  would  be  to  us  truly 
painful.  Have  you  ever  realized  that  Jesus  died  for  you  ?  Have 
your  thoughts  ever  followed  Him  to  the  garden  of  Gcthsemane,  and 
whilst  with  mysterious  awe  you  contemplated  the  suffering  He  then 
endured,  have  you  remembered  that  He  drank  that  bitter  cup  that 
it  might  not  be  your  portion  ?  Oh,  with  what  horror  we  should 
turn  away  from  the  execution  of  the  vilest  criminal !  Our  compas- 
sion for  his  sufferings  would  almost  cause  us  to  forget  that  he  was 
paying  the  penalty  of  transgression.  How  much  more  should  our 
hearts  be  afiected  when  we  contemplate  the  sufferings  of  our  holy 
Redeemer,  and  reflect  that  they  were  endured  to  rescue  us  from 
eternal  death  !  Surely  our  salvation  has  been  purchased  at  a  costly 
sacrifice !  Will  you  not  receive  the  blessing,  my  beloved  friend  ? 
Will  you  not  accept  it  just  as  it  is  offered  to  you  —  a  free  gift?  Will 
you  not  come  to  Jesus,  even  if  you  do  not  feel  as  you  wish?  —  for 
every  gift  of  the  Spirit  is  the  purchase  of  His  blood.  When  He 
comes  into  your  heart,  repentance,  faith,  love  and  holy  obedience 
will  displace  the  insensibility  and  ingratitude,  of  which  the  unrenewed 
mind  will  be  in  some  degree  conscious,  but  cannot  itself  remove. 
God  has  said,  '  Then  shall  ye  seek  me  and  find  me,  when  you  shall 
search  for  me  with  your  whole  heart ;'  and  with  this  spirit  of  earnest 
importunity  1  would  have  you  to  seek  the  blessing  of  the  Most 
High.  I  would  remind  you  of  the  promise,  '  Let  him  take  hold  of 
my  strength,  that  he  may  make  peace  with  me,  and  he  shall  make 
peace  with  me.'     Oh,  that  your  whole  soul  were  aroused  to  energetic 


858  LETTERS.  [1846. 

effort !  Oil,  tliat  you  could  realize  tLat  the  great  business  of  life  is 
not  yet  accomplished  !  Surely  it  should  not  be  deferred  until  the 
hour  when  the  exhausted  frame  is  almost  incapable  of  exertion. 
My  sickness,  as  you  well  know,  has  not  been  a  period  of  brief  con- 
tinuance, and  yet  I  have  often  thought  that  a  sick-room  is  not  an 
appropriate  place  to  seek  the  consolations  of  religion,  but  to  enjoy 
the  presence  of  the  Saviour.     I  love  to  rest  upon  Him  in  simple 

faith.     He  was  with  our  dear in  her  time  of  need,  and  will  not 

forsake  us  if  we  simply  trust  Him.  But  remember  that  '  now  is  the 
accepted  time.'  You  are  not  promised  a  death-bed  repentance,  for 
we  are  told,  *  My  Spirit  shall  not  always  strive.'  But  if  you  come 
now,  you  will  surely  be  accepted.  *  Him  that  cometh  unto  me  I  will 
in  no  wise  cast  out.' 

To  Mrs.  F. 

"  I  trust,  dear  Madam,  that  the  Saviour  has  whispered  in  this 
hour  of  bereavement  and  physical  suffering,  *  It  is  I!  be  not  afraid;' 
and  when  He  speaks,  the  waves  of  affliction  subside,  and  the  spirit 
sweetly  reposes  on  His  love.  Oh,  how  thankful  I  feel  that  you  have 
such  a  resting-place  !  for  the  experience  of  many  years  has  taught 
me  that  Jesus  is  '  the  shadow  of  a  great  Rock  in  a  weary  land.'  1 
wish  I  could  see  you  that  we  might  talk  together  of  Him  who  is  our 
trust  and  our  salvation. 

"My  aunt,  Mrs.  N.,  has  spoken  of  you  with  so  much  affection, 
that  I  do  not  think  you  would  seem  to  me  very  much  like  a  stranger, 
and  she  tells  me  that  it  was  her  intention  to  have  brought  you  to 
Greenwood  when  you  last  visited  Philadelphia.  I  should  then  have 
the  opportunity  of  giving  verbal  expression  to  the  sympathy  which, 
in  accordance  with  her  desire,  I  convey  to  you  through  this  medium. 
My  aunt  has  told  you  that  for  many  years  I  have  been  in  the  school 
of  suffering,  and  though  I  deeply  regret  that  I  have  not  learned  all 
the  lessons  my  Heavenly  Father  has  designed  to  teach  me,  I  can 
bear  most  joyful  testimony  to  the  saving  power  of  religion,  and  feel 
thankful  that  God  has  chosen  me,  even  in  the  furnace  of  affliction. 
Utterly  unable  as  we  should  be  to  endure  in  our  own  strength  the 
privations  and  weariness  of  a  debilitated  constitution,  still  more  im- 
possible should  we  find  it  to  realize  with  any  degree  of  composure 
that  our  loved  ones  have  been  removed  from  our  embrace.  This  is 
truly  the  amputation  of  the  heart,  and  if  there  were  no  balm  in 
Gilead,  there  would  be  no  healing  for  such  wounds.  I  do  not  offer 
you  the  words  of  ordinary  sympathy,  I  do  not  speak  of  sorrow  I  have 


1846.]  DIARY.  359 

never  felt;  for  my  dearest  earthly  friend  has  gone  to  Heaven.  But 
the  Holy  Gho.-t,  the  Comforter,  has  cheered  my  stricken  heart,  and 
whilst  I  weep  with  the  mourner,  I  feel  that  it  is  my  privilege  to 
speak  of  the  mourner's  Friend,  and  of  '  the  peace  which  passeth 
understanding.' 

''  May  I  not  hope  I  shall  yet  receive  a  visit  from  you  ?  You  will 
find  that  we  have  not  the  hearts  of  strangers,  and  are  prepared  to 
receive  most  affectionately  the  friend  of  our  beloved  aunt,  who  will 
be  often  remembered  when  I  ask  blessings  of  our  Father  in  Heaven. 
In  looking  unto  Jesus  may  we  ever  find  efficient  consolation. 

"  Believe  me,  with  affectionate  sympathy,  your  friend. 

'^3Tarch  22d.  —  I  bless  and  magnify  my  Heavenly  Father 
for  the  spiritual  shepherd  He  has  given  our  diocese.  I  have 
had  this  morning  a  deeply  instructive  and  refreshing  visit 
from  Bishop  Potter,  and  hope  I  shall  remember  his  remarks. 
He  regrets  that  Christian  intercourse  is  so  fettered  by  con- 
ventional restraints,  —  thinks  there  is  a  large  fund  of  sym- 
pathy which  refriiins  from  utterance  from  the  fear  that  it  will 
not  be  reciprocated.  He  spoke  of  the  wise  arrangements  of 
our  Church,  and  of  the  comfort  of  its  services  even  in  soli- 
tude, and  then  of  the  greater  consolation  of  possessing  an 
ever-present  Saviour,  so  that  we  can  have  an  audience- 
chamber  any  where.  The  Bishop  dwelt  upon  the  sympathy 
of  our  great  High  Priest,  upon  His  having  experienced  the 
suiferings  of  human  nature,  then  of  the  necessity  of  simple 
faith.  He  said,  too,  that  an  orthodox  person  might  be  in 
danger  of  depending  upon  his  faith  rather  than  upon  his 
Saviour ;  spoke  of  the  danger  of  being  self-satisfied  when  we 
are  favored  with  religious  enjoyment,  and  of  a  morbid  state 
of  feeling  in  reference  to  the  acknowledgment  of  our  sinful- 
ness. When  we  dwelt  upon  the  fact  that  we  are  so  slow  in 
learning  to  come  to  Jesus  as  we  are,  instead  of  waiting  to 
make  ourselves  better,  he  seemed  to  think  that  this  difficulty 
was  owing  to  the  want  of  vivid  realization  of  our  own  depra- 
vity ;  that  a  deep  sense  of  the  sinfulness  of  our  nature  teaches 


360  DIARY.  [1846. 

us  what  we  need,  and  induces  us  to  come  to  the  Saviour  to 
help  us.  I  told  him  I  -vvas  thankful  that  he  realized  and 
taught  these  truths.  He  said,  ^  What  would  Christianity  be 
without  them  ?'  His  visit  was  like  that  of  an  affectionate 
and  gentle  pastor.  Oh,  if  he  taught  false  doctrine,  how  my 
heart  would  ache !" 

In  the  spring  of  1846,  Miss  Allihone's  illness  so  much 
increased  as  to  impress  her  friends  with  the  apprehension  of 
her  speedy  removal.  More  than  once  it  was  not  expected 
that  her  frail  and  weakened  tabernacle  would  survive  the 
rude  shocks  that  it  received.  But  her  hour  of  dismission  had 
not  yet  arrived,  and  she  waited  patiently,  though  not  con- 
cealing her  desire  to  depart  and  to  be  with  Christ,  as  far 
better.  She  had  spoken  of  herself  previously  as  '  the  Lord's 
prisoner.'  This  imprisonment  now  became  more  complete. 
While  her  life  was  wonderfully  prolonged,  she  was  no  more 
permitted  to  make  the  short  open  air  excursions  which  had 
been  a  source  of  so  much  enjoyment.  This  recreation  she 
resigned,  like  every  other  denied  gratification,  without  a 
murmuring  breath.  Some  brief  entries  in  her  own  Diary 
and  extracts  from  the  Note-book  exhibit  the  divine  support 
and  heavenly  peace  which  she  enjoyed  under  circumstances 
so  trying : 

From  her" Diary. 

^^ April  l^tli.  —  'My  patience  be  thy  victory.'  " 
''3Iaij  11th,  Simday.  —  'lhe  earth  is  full  of  Thy  riches,' 
0  Lord,  and  in  my  heart  is  Thy  peace.     Thy  mercy  reminds 
me   how  sinful   I  have  beeui     Thou  refreshest  me   by  the 
smiles  of  Thy  love." 

From  Notes. 
^^ April  — .  —  Susan  was  taken  worse  about  an  hour  ago. 
She  said  to  me,  '  It  is  a  blessed  thing  to  be  upon  the  Rock, 
and  to  rest  there  so  securely  and  peacefully.     She  desired  E. 
to  sing  to  her,  and  asked  for  '  Rock  of  Ages.' 


1846.]  SPIRITUAL    STRENGTH.  361 

'•^May  Id.  —  Dear  Susan  has  been  extremely  ill  this  morn- 
ing. She  had  taken  ether,  and  finding  that  it  made  her 
more  uncomfortable,  she  remarked,  '  Was  not  I  right  about 
stimulants  ?  I  will  depend  upon  spiritual  strength.  It  never 
has  failed,  and  never  will  fail  me.'  We  feared  the  sad  hour 
had  arrived,  but  our  Heavenly  Father  mercifully  relieved  her. 

"  9i7i.  —  Susan  has  had  another  attack,  and  we  again 
feared  that  all  would  soon  be  over.  She  said,  '  For  me  to 
depend  on  any  thing  but  spiritual  strength,  would  be  like 
shutting  up  all  the  windows  that  we  might  see  the  light  of  a 
taper.'  She  said  that  her  nurse  reminded  her  of  the  pas- 
sage, '  But  we  were  gentle  among  you,  even  as  a  nurse  cher- 
isheth  her  children.' 

"  V)th.  —  This  morning,  in  reply  to  something  I  said  in 
reference  to  the  attack  of  yesterday,  she  said,  '  I  should  have 
been  glad  to  have  died  then.'  While  I  was  doing  something 
for  her,  she  said,  complacently,  '  Bless  you !  The  Lord  do 
so  to  thee,  as  thou  hast  done  to  me.'  She  charged  me  never 
to  resort  to  stimulants,  and  said  they  might  be  left  for  those 
who  had  no  better  dependence.  She  seems  to  refresh  her- 
self by  draughts  from  those  spiritual  streams  which  make 
glad  the  city  of  God.  She  alone  is  cheerful  and  sustained, 
when  appearing  so  near  the  boundary  of  the  spirit-land. 
She  thinks  it  the  duty  as  well  as  the  privilege  of  Christians 
to  have  spiritual  joy.  She  says,  '  Christians  do  not  know 
what  they  possess ;'  and  spoke  of  the  case  of  Levi,  who  had 
no  inheritance  with  his  brethren.  She  desired  us  always  to 
have  our  houses  open  to  religious  services,  our  hearts  and 
houses  open  to  the  clergy,  and  our  purses  open  to  the  cause 
of  Christ. 

"Susan  remarked,  after  I  had  read  the  verses,  'I  know, 
0  God,  that  thy  judgments  are  right,  and  that  Thou  of  very 
faithfulness  hast  caused  me  to  be  humbled' — '  0  let  Thy  mer- 
ciful kindness  be  my  comfort,  according  to  Thy  Word,  unto 
Thy  servant,' — that  our  Heavenly  Father  lifted  the  rod  with 

31 


362  JOY     IN     THE    LORD.  [1846. 

a  smile,  rather  than  a  frown.  This  morning  she  expressed 
her  views  of  sudden  death,  and  her  having  no  dread  of  it, 
that  she  trusted  in  the  Rock  of  Ages,  and  rested  there.  No 
new  symptom  appears  to  alarm  her,  and  doubtless  He,  who 
has  been  her  helper,  will  continue  with  her  unto  the  end. 

'■'■Jime.  —  Susan  said,  to-night,  that  she  felt  with  the  old 
woman  w^ho  said,  '  Faith  shuts  the  door  at  night,  and  opens 
it  in  the  morning.'  She  is  very  ill  to-day.  She  desired  me 
to  read  a  Psalm  of  thanksgiving,  and  commented  on  the  pas- 
sage in  the  111th  Psalm,  '  He  will  ever  be  mindful  of  His 
covenant.'  I  said,  '  You  feel  that  you  have  a  covenant  rela- 
tion to  Him.'  She  replied,  '  I  am  8ure  of  it.'  I  spoke  of 
her  having  so  much  pain.  She  said,  'Not  any  too  much.' 
She  spoke  of  its  being  the  best  and  happiest  state,  to  lose 
ourselves  in  God's  attributes  and  perfections,  instead  of  look- 
ing to  ourselves.  When  more  dangerously  ill  than  she  has 
appeared  for  a  long  time,  and  while  extremely  weak,  she  said, 
'  Some  people  would  not  think  this  happiness,  but  I  do.' 
.  "When  in  excessive  suffering,  she  is  supported  and  pre- 
served in  patience.  She  spoke  of  opening  the  Bible,  one  day, 
in  an  agony  of  pain,  and  reading  the  sweet  passage,  'And 
there  shall  be  no  more  pain.'  All  things  receive  a  fresh  lus- 
tre, when  reflecting  the  rays  of  love  and  gratitude. 

"  She  asked,  this  morning,  'i  Do  you  realize  that  you  live 
in  the  country,  where  the  birds  sing  so  sweetly,  and  the  air 
is  so  pure  ?     It  is  a  great  privilege  ?' 

"  She  remarked,  a  short  time  since,  that  she  was  the  most 
comfortable  person  in  the  house, — ^that  we  were  anxious  about 
her,  but  she  was  not  so  about  herself.  Spoke  of  being  in  her 
Heavenly  Father's  keeping ;  that  she  was  willing  to  trust  the 
present  and  the  future  to  Him.  She  said  that  when  so 
weak,  she  often  thought  of  some  of  the  names  and  titles 
given  to  the  Saviour,  and  mentioned,  'The  Consolation  of 
Israel.' 

"  This  afternoon,  she  spoke  of  preferring  a  month's  sick- 


1846.]  JOY     IN     THE     LORD.  363 

ness  to  having  one  wrong  tliought,  although  she  does  not  pos- 
sess perfection. 

"  She  asked  me,  to-day,  what  her  friends  thought  of  her 
case,  and  preferred  knowing,  mentioning  that  it  gave  her 
some  uncomfortable  sensations  when  she  heard  that  the  Doc- 
tor thought  he  could  benefit  her.  She  seemed  to  think,  to- 
night, that  if  she  was  going  to  die,  she  was  being  let  down 
to  her  grave  very  gently. 

"  In  reply  to  some  one  who  said  she  must  require  a  great 
deal  of  grace  to  keep  her  cheerful,  she  said,  '  Not  more  than 
my  Heavenly  Father  is  willing  to  give  me.' 

"  I  never  knew  any  one  whose  sleeping  hours  were  so  fre- 
quently visited  with  spiritual  and  beautiful  dreams.  Doubt- 
less, her  waking  thoughts  are  often  thus  reflected." 

From  her  oivn  Diary. 

'•'■June  10th.  —  The  Lord  is  my  Shepherd,  I  do  not  want. 
I  experience  His  all-sufficiency.  He  is  my  great  High  Priest. 
I  flee  to  Him  for  sympathy  and  sustaining  grace.  He  is  in- 
deed, 'the  shadow  of  a  great  Rock  in  a  weary  land.'  Jesus, 
Jesus,  Jesus  !  all  I  need,  all  I  desire.  Worthy  is  the  Lamb 
to  receive  honor,  and  power,  and  glory,  and  blessing. 

"t/w/y  18^7i.^' Looking  unto  Jesus,' — depending  upon  His 
finished  work, — resting  upon  Him  as  my  all  in  all, — enjoy- 
ing the  presence  of  the  Comforter, — granted  the  Spirit  of 
adoption,  and  continually  receiving  proofs  of  the  love  of  my 
Father  in  Heaven. 

"  Glory  be  to  the  Father,  and  to  the  Son,  and  to  the  Holy 
Ghost ;  as  it  was  in  the  beginning,  is  now,  and  ever  shall  be. 

"I  am  not  able  to  record  the  delightful  Christian  inter- 
course I  enjoy,  but  I  thank  Thee  for  it,  my  Father  in 
Heaven." 

Notes. 

'■^July.  —  On  my  telling  her  I  wished  she  could  be  carried 
to  the  window  to  see  the  beauty  of  the  garden,  she  replied 


364  NOTES.  [1846. 

that  she  had  no  desire  to  look  upon  any  earthly  prospect, 
but  only  to  look  upon  her  Saviour  '  with  faith's  illumined 
eyes.'  She  said  that  she  had  not,  for  years,  doubted  her 
acceptance. 

"  Speaking  of  the  beauty  of  Miss ,  -whom  I  met  in 

travelling,  I  Avas  corrected  by  Susan,  who  said,  '  What  she  is 
depends  upon  whether  she  was  a  disciple  of  the  Saviour, — 
whether  she  is  a  horrible,  terrific  being,  where  there  is  wail- 
ing and  gnashing  of  teeth,  or  whether  she  is  singing  praises 
to  God.'  She  spoke  of  St.  Andrew's  as  the  place  where  she 
first  gave  her  heart  to  the  Saviour,  and  said  it  was  a  very 
sacred  spot  to  her. 

"I  opened  her  little  volume,  '  Sacred  Gems,'  and  finding 
a  piece  of  poetry,  '  How  calm  the  Righteous,'  &c.,  I  said  I 
did  not  mean  to  read  that.  She  then  spoke  of  '  righteous' 
meaning  'justified.' 

"  She  said  that  the  verse,  '  Hurt  not  the  earth,  neither  the 
sea,  nor  the  trees,  till  we  have  sealed  the  servants  of  God  in 
their  foreheads,'  had  a  great  efiect  upon  her  before  she  be- 
came decided.  She  seemed  fully  aware  of  her  extreme  dan- 
ger, and  requested  me  to  send  some  texts  to  the  Misses , 

saying  that  Miss  Allibone,  who  was  so  very  ill,  had  sent  them, 
and  that  she  hoped  they  would  not  think  it  too  great  a 
liberty. 

"  When  I  asked  her  if  she  did  not  desire  to  see  the  prospect 
from  the  south  window,  she  replied, 

'Bright  fields,  beyond  the  swelling  flood, 
Stand  dressed  in  living  green.' 

Alluding  to  her  symptoms,  she  said  she  did  not  care, — it  was 
like  going  down  stairs,  a  step  at  a  time. 

"  Speaking  of  some  persons  who  were  extremely  gay  on 
Sunday,  she  said  it  seemed  dreadful  to  hear  them  talk  about 
worldly  things,  but  we  ought  to  remember  how  often  we  had 
done  it,  saying,  '  Look  to  the  Rock  whence  ye  were  hewn, 
and  to  the  hole  of  the  pit  whence  ye  were  digged.' 


[846.]  NOTES.  865 

"  She  is  now  so  weak  that  I  fear  she  cannot  even  have  the 
Communion  administered,  which  she  woukl  so  much  enjoy. 
She  has,  however,  so  frequently  had  this  privilege,  and  so 
much  delighted  in  it,  that  we  should  be  thankful. 

"  Sister  F.  mentioned  her  sufferings,  but  she  replied,  '  You 
see  my  sufferings,  but  you  do  not  see  my  comfort.'  Speaking 
of  the  state  of  her  pulse,  she  said  she  did  not  care  whether  it 
beat  or  not, — she  did  not  wish  to  die  to  escape  suffering,  but 
to  become  more  holy. 

^^  Sunday,  July  12th. — When  her  weakness  was  alluded 
to,  she  replied,  '  The  Lord  is  my  joy.'  When  asked  how  she 
kept  so  calm,  her  answer  was,  that  she  was  kept.  She  said, 
*  The  beloved  of  the  Lord  shall  dwell  in  safety  by  Him.' 

"  She  wishes to  see  the  importance  of  an  observance 

of  Baptism  and  the  Lord's  Supper,  as  commanded  by  the 
Saviour,  who  hath  said,  '  If  ye  love  me,  keep  my  command- 
ments.' And  surely,  after  His  cruel  death,  when  about  to 
leave  the  world,  and  sit  down  at  the  right  hand  of  His  Fa- 
ther, He  said,  '  Go  ye,  therefore,  and  teach  all  nations,  bap-, 
tizing  them  in  the  name  of  the  Father,  and  of  the  Son,  and 
of  the  Holy  Ghost,'  teaching  them  to  observe  'all  things 
whatsoever  I  have  commanded  you.'  No  one  has  the  right 
to  set  his  opinion  as  a  rule  to  act  by,  when  we  are  so  ex- 
pressly and  unequivocally  taught  our  duty. 

"  On  Monday,  July  \2>th,  she  said,  '  My  sweet  promises, 
they  have  never  failed  me  since  I  first  loved  them,'  and 
directed  my  attention  to  a  passage  she  had  marked  long  ago, 
'  My  flesh  and  my  heart  faileth,  but  God  is  the  strength  of 
my  heart,  and  my  portion  forever.' 

"  l-Uh.  —  I  spoke  to  her  of  the  beautiful  places  I  had  seen 
in  riding,  this  afternoon.     Her  response  was, 

'  He  shows,  beyond  these  mortal  shores, 
A  bright  inheritance  as  ours, 
Where  saints  in  light  our  coming  wait, 
To  share  their  holy,  happy  state.' 

31* 


366  NOTES.  [1846. 

"  18f7t.  —  This  morning  she  seemed  so  pleased  in  looking 
over  the  hymns  in  her  Prayer-Book.  She  said,  'It  seems 
like  visiting  a  circle  of  old  friends.  What  a  blessed  thing 
religion  is  !  Every  thing  connected  with  it  is  so  delightful.' 
Spoke  of  the  hymn,  'When  languor  and  disease  invade,' 
and  repeated  the  lines, 

'  Sweet  to  lie  passive  in  His  hands, 
And  know  no  will  but  His.' 

Another  hymn  she  mentioned  as  one  of  her  favorites,  and 
associated  with  the  Neshamony: 

'  Far  from  the  world,  0  Lord,  I  flee, 
From  strife  and  tumult  far, 
From  scenes  where  Satan  wages  still, 
His  most  successful  war. 

'  0,  if  thy  Spirit  teach  the  soul, 
And  grace  her  mean  abode  — 
Then,  with  what  peace,  and  joy,  and  love. 
She  communes  with  her  God  !' 

"19^7j. — Very  sick  to-day, — more  fever  than  usual,  and 
extreme  pain.  This  morning,  when  I  spoke  of  her  symptoms, 
her  reply  was,  '  I  don't  regret  it,  I  feel  very  happy.  Pity 
me  for  being  a  sinner,  not  for  being  a  sufferer.'  " 

From  her  Diary. 

'-'•July  1\tli.  —  Again  received  the  Holy  Communion.  I 
wish  the  disciples  of  our  Saviour,  who  are  unable  to  receive 
this  ordinance  in  the  sanctuary,  would  commemorate  the  Re- 
deemer's dying  love  in  that  place  where  its  realization  is  so 
precious, — the  chamber  of  sickness. 

^'■Sept.  2d.  —  'Lord,  I  have  loved  the  habitation  of  Thy 
house,  and  the  place  where  Thine  honor  dwelleth,'  but  now, 
I  '  remember  Thee  on  my  bed,'  and  love  to  be  fed  with  '  hid- 
den manna.' " 


1846.]  NOTES.  367 

Notes. 

"  Susan  repeated  Col.  i.  11-14.  I  remarked,  -when  she 
concluded,  '  Can  you  say,  "  with  joyfulness"  ?'  She  replied 
that  she  could. 

"  25i;/i.  —  Speaking  of  the  comfort  her  nurse  was  to  her, 
she  seemed  to  think  it  was  almost  too  good  to  continue,  but 
she  added,  '  Your  Heavenly  Father  knoweth  that  ye  have 
need  of  all  these  things.' 

"  She  said  she  did  not  hope  to  live  till  next  week, — that 
she  had  no  wish  about  it.     She  repeated, 

'  My  times  are  in  Thy  hand, 
My  God,  I  wish  them  there.' 

Spoke  of  not  feeling  any  more  gloomy  about  death  and  the 
grave,  than  about  going  out  in  her  coach.  She  mentioned  to 
Sarah  an  instance  of  a  person  who  was  asked  what  she  thought 
of  the  grave,  and  who  answered  that  she  had  no  thought  of 
it ;  and  when  inquired  of  what  she  thought  of  death,  said  it 
seemed  like  sinking  into  the  arms  of  Jesus.  She  said  to 
Sarah,  '  The  grave  is  only  a  place  of  deposit  for  the  body 
until  the  Resurrection.' 

"  Wednesday. — She  felt  too  happy,  she  said,  for  any  thing 
to  be  a  burden,  and  spoke  of  being  in  a  resting,  peaceful  state 
of  mind. 

"  22^^. — '  No,  it  is  not  wonderful,  because  our  Heavenly 
Father  keeps  me  in  peace.''  Spoke  of  the  pleasant  times  she 
had  when  shut  up  alone. 

"  Friday.  — '  It  would  be  very  ungrateful  for  me  to  be 
anxious  about  any  thing.'  Spoke  of  worldly  anxiety  being 
caused  by  want  of  faith.  Remarked  that  peace  was  pro- 
mised, as  well  as  safety,  repeating,  '  The  joy  of  the  Lord  is 
your  strength.' 

"  She  thought  that  when  persons  who  had  been  remarkably 
spiritual  became  less  so,  it  was  by  not  attending  to  the  checks 
of -conscience,  by  being  occupied  so  as  to  neglect  self-cxami- 


368  NOTES.  [1846. 

nation,  by  yielding  to  small  temptations,  and  not  going  at 
once  for  mercy  under  a  sense  of  having  done  Avrong. 

^''Wednesday. — 'It  never  casts  a  shade  over  my  mind,  to 
think  of  dying.'  The  only  feeling  it  awakened  was  to  make 
her  wish  to  he  more  devoted. 

'■'■Thursday. — Speaking  of  yesterday  she  remarked,  'Just 
to  have  the  door  shut,  and  go  right  to  praying,  is  joy  to  my 
heart,  and  balm  to  my  soul.' 

'■'■Sunday. — 'Religion  appears  to  me  more  and  more  sim- 
ple. Come  to  Jesus  Christ  as  we  are,  to  be  made  what  we 
ought  to  be.' 

"  She  admired  the  delicate  and  beautiful  manner  in  which 

Dr.  M.  announced  the  closing  scene  to  Ann ,  by  saying, 

'Annie,  vital  spark  of  heavenly  flame,'  and  as  he  proceeded, 
poor  A.  united  with  him. 

"  When  we  spoke  of  dear  Sue's  sufferings,  she  said  they 
had  been  great,  but  her  consolations  greater.  Spoke  of  being 
impressed  with  the  necessity  of  holiness.  She  said  those  lines 
had  been  much  in  her  mind : 

'  I  need  the  influence  of  Thy  grace, 
To  speed  me  on  my  -way ; 
Lest  I  should  loiter  in  the  race, 
Or  turn  my  steps  away.' 

"  Tuesday.  —  She  spoke  of  preferring  great  suffering  to 
feeling  angry.  So  much  more  does  she  dread  sin  than  pain. 
In  reference  to  her  feelings,  '  What  should  I  do  without  a 
Saviour  to  rest  upon,  these  restless  nights  ?'  She  says  that 
when  the  Bible  commands  us  to  be  meek,  it  is  such  a  comfort 
to  know  that  God  commands  nothing  which  He  is  not  willing 
to  give  us  strength  to  perform.  Speaking  of  books,  she  said, 
'  If  I  had  not  counted  all  things  but  loss  for  the  excellency 
of  the  knowledge  of  Christ  Jesus  my  Lord,  I  should  not  have 
been  able  to  give  up  my  studies.' 

"  This  afternoon  I  read  part  of  that  sweet  little  volume, 
"Perfect  Peace,'  to  her.     She  entered  most  feelingly  into  its 


1846.]  NOTES.  369 

touching  narrative.  It  is  a  work  peculiarly  calculated  to 
meet  licr  views,  and  gratify  her  taste. 

"  The  result  of  a  visit  from seemed  to  gratify  her. 

She  had  desired  with  unusual  anxiety  an  interview  with . 

She  felt  it  a  delicate  matter  to  urge  upon  him  the  claims  of 
religion ;  she  thought,  '  Let  the  words  of  my  mouth  and  the 
meditation  of  my  heart  be  acceptable  in  Thy  sight' — 'Lord, 
I  am  but  a  child.'  The  Lord  did  not  only  direct  her  in  the 
performance  of  the  duty,  but  granted  a  willingness  on  His 
part  to  accept  the  effort,  and  acknowledge  it  with  emotion, 
and  demonstrations  of  affection. 

"  Speaking  of  the  interest  manifested  in  her  affliction,  I 
remarked  that  she  was  '  the  prisoner  of  the  Lord.'  Sister  F. 
said,  'kept  in  prison  to  set  others  free.' 

"  Spoke  of  her  joy,  this  morning.  She  felt  no  anxiety  to 
be  better,  nor  any  fear  of  death.  She  said  it  was  well  to 
spend  money  upon  religious  books,  as,  even  if  they  were  lost, 
they  might  be  doing  good  somewhere.  She  said  the  copy  of 
Nelson's  'Cause  and  Cure  of  Infidelity,' which  was  a  blessing 

to had  gone  upon  a  missionary  tour.     This  volume  she 

bought  with  money  intended  for  a  guard-chain,  which  she  did 
not  feel  easy  to  purchase. 

"  '  There  is  no  privation  connected  with  my  sickness  that  I 
feel  so  much,  as  inability  to  read  the  Bible.'  She  spoke  of 
the  23d  Psalm  as  being  one  of  the  most  refreshing  portions 
of  the  whole  Bible  to  her.  One  morning  she  repeated,  '  For 
we  are  willing,  rather,  to  be  absent  from  the  body,  and  pre- 
sent with  the  Lord,'  '  For  we  thus  judge  that  if  One  died  for 
all,  then  were  all  dead ;  and  that  He  died  for  all,  that  they 
which  live  should  henceforth  not  live  unto  themselves,  but 
unto  Him  who  died  for  them  and  rose  again.' 

^'■Sunday  morning. — She  said  she  was  not  sorry  to  have  a 
chill,  for  it  was  only  one  step  down  the  steps  she  had  to  go, 
and  when  she  reached  the  last,  she  hoped  to  go  up.  Spoke 
with  admiration  of  the  passage,  '  I  sat  under  His  shadow  with 

Y 


370  LETTERS.  [1846. 

great  delight,  and  His  fruit  was  sweet  to  my  taste,'  and  men- 
tioned, '  In  the  multitude  of  my  thoughts  within  me,  Thy 
comforts  delight  my  soul.' 

"  Spoke  of  having  two  such  kind  nurses,  and  such  a  com- 
passionate High  Priest.  She  is  very  anxious  to  improve  the 
Sabbath,  and  to  enjoy  this  sacred  season  in  spiritual  affec- 
tions." 

To  Mrs.  J. 

"  I  thank  you  most  affectionately,  my  dear  Mrs.  J.,  for  your  unex- 
pected and  most  welcome  letter.  I  number  your  affection  among  my 
richest  treasures,  and  am  truly  thankful  you  have  given  so  large  a 
share  to  one  who  feels  herself  so  unworthy  of  any  blessing.  I  have 
a  heart  full  of  kind  things  to  say  to  you,  but  must  reserve  their  ex- 
pression until  we  meet,  if,  indeed,  your  premonitions  be  verified. 
Christian  intercourse  is  indeed  one  of  the  most  exalted  privileges 
which  our  Heavenly  Father  grants  His  children ;  and,  like  you,  I 
rejoice  in  the  reflection,  that 

'  Angels,  and  living  saints,  and  dead, 
But  one  communion  make.' 

'  For  we  are  come  to  Mount  Zion.'  I  love  the  present  tense  of  the 
Bible. 

"  I  have  not  improved  physically  since  I  saw  you,  but  still  believe 
that  I  have  an  all-sufficient  Saviour,  who  is  indeed  the  balm  of  Gilead 
and  the  physician ;  therefore  I  feel  no  anxiety  in  reference  to  the 
measure  and  continuance  of  my  sulFerings.  My  Father's  hand  will 
never  cause  His  child  a  needless  tear.  I  enjoy  great  peace  of  mind. 
I  feel  grieved  that  I  have  not  improved  this  discipline  as  I  should 
have  done ;  and  trust  that  you,  who  have  ever  been  so  kind  a  Chris- 
tian friend,  will  pray  earnestly  that  I  may  learn  every  lesson  our 
Heavenly  Father  would  teach  me.  Pray,  too,  that  the  spirit  of  sup- 
plication may  be  granted  me,  that  I  may  comply  with  your  request 

with  reference  to  dear  little .     Kiss  him,  and  little  S.,  and  J., 

for  me,  and  tell  them  that  I  trust  they  will  be  among  the  lambs  of 
Jesus'  fold.  If  they  now  learn  of  Him,  He  will  make  them  '  meek 
and  lowly  of  heart.'     Give  a  message  of  warm  affection  to  J.  J. 

"  That  the  Lord  may  bless  thee  and  keep  thee,  and  cause  His  face 
to  shine  upon  the&f  is  the  sincere  prayer  of  your  affectionate 

"Susan." 


1846.]  LETTERS.  371 

To  Miss  E. 

"  I  anticipate  your  promised  visit.  Since  I  have  been  so  very 
sick,  I  have  felt  increased  enjoyment  in  Christian  intercourse,  and 
have  often  wished  for  you.  I  love  to  talk  with  you,  because  the 
Saviour's  name  is  always  to  you  a  welcome  sound,  and  because  I 
trust  we  both  desire  to  sit  for  ever  at  His  feet,  and  learn  of  Him, 
and  that  the  Holy  Spirit  may  show  us  the  height,  and  length,  and 
breadth  of  His  love.  What  a  comfort  is  it  to  know  that  God  is  able 
to  do  for  us  exceeding  abundantly  above  all  that  we  can  ask  or  think ; 
to  show  us  great  and  mighty  things  which  we  know  not !  I  cannot 
express  to  you  the  value  of  '  the  peace  which  passeth  understanding/ 
and  how  great  a  consolation  it  is  to  trust  simply  in  the  all-sufficient 
merits  of  the  Saviour.  I  rejoice  that  I  am  '  accepted  in  the  Be- 
loved ;'  that  the  Father  loves  me  for  His  sake.  I  have  never  done, 
nor  said,  nor  thought,  any  thing  which  does  not  require  the  cleansing 
of  His  blood ;  but  His  is  a  finished  atonement,  a  finished  righteous- 
ness; and  I  rest  satisfied  upon  it  with  security  and  peace. 

'  In  my  band  no  price  I  bring.' 

"  Much  I  feel  that  I  need  a  deeper  work  of  grace,  and  trust  you 
will  pray  for  me  as  one  who  'has  not  already  attained.'  It  may  be 
that  my  continuance  in  this  world  of  probation  may  be  very  brief. 
I  would  learn  more  rapidly,  but  what  I  wish  to  learn  is  only  Jesus  ! 
Jesus !  Jesus !" 

To  3Ir.  J. 

"  Hamiltonville,  Sept.  26,  1846. 

"  Will  you  not  accept  this  book,  my  dear  Mr.  J.  ?  *  *  *  My 
heart  warmed  towards  you,  when  I  learned  how  deep  is  your  solici- 
tude that  those  most  dear  to  you  should  more  attentively  regard  the 
interests  of  eternity.  I  am  sure  the  Holy  Spirit  has  excited  this 
desire,  and  I  trust  He  will  grant  its  fulfilment.  Sincerely  do  I  hope 
that  a  work  of  grace  has  commenced  in  your  heart,  which  will  result 
in  the  confession  of  a  crucified  Saviour. 

"  If  you  doubt  your  preparation  for  this  solemn  step,  surely  you 
can  come  ta  Jesus  for  the  repentance  and  faith  you  need.  How 
freely  His  blood  atones  for  our  transgression,  and  how  sufficient  is 
His  grace  for  the  supply  of  our  spiritual  necessities  !  When  light 
from  Heaven  makes  visible  the  darkness  of  our  nature,  we  deeply 
realize  that  we  have  no  strength  nor  righteousness  of  our  own,  and 
rejoice  that  Jesus  becomes,  to  the  believer,  'wisdom,  righteousness, 


372  LETTERS.  [1846. 

sanctitication  and  redemption.'  Oh,  what  a  soul-sustaining  truth  is 
this  !  the  only  one  on  which  we  can  build  enduring  hope.  How  it 
cheered  me,  when  I  felt  that  I  was  a  sinner,  unable  to  help  myself, 
and  how  calmly  have  I  reposed  upon  it,  during  many  years  of  physi- 
cal suffering ! 

"  Is  this  the  resting-place  of  your  spirit,  my  dear  friend  ?  If  so, 
hasten  to  number  yourself  among  the  professed  disciples  of  the  Re- 
deemer, and  to  participate  in  the  ordinances  appointed  by  His  wis- 
dom and  His  love. 

''  But  if  you  cannot  yet  claim  this  privilege,  oh !  come  at  once  to 
Him  who  will  'in  no  wise  cast  out.'  Oh,  do  not  wait.  E.  tells  me 
you  are  not  willing  to  commence  alone  the  path  that  leads  to  Hea- 
ven, but  are  disposed  to  linger  till  she  is  prepared  to  accompany  you. 
The  requisitions  of  the  Gospel  demand  instant  obedience,  and  in  at 
once  complying  with  them,  you  can  better  hope  for  a  blessing  upon 
those  you  love.  I  would  not  seem  presuming,  but  feel  impelled  to 
offer  you  an  expression  of  Christian  sympathy,  for  I  feel  assured,  the 
still  small  voice  of  the  Spirit  is  whispering  in  your  heart.  God  has 
said,  '  My  Spirit  shall  not  always  strive.' 

"  May  I  not  hope  that  this  unexpected  communication  may  be 
deemed  worthy  of  reply  ?  That  you  and  your  beloved  family  may 
receive  every  spiritual  blessing  shall  be  the  continued  prayer  of 
yours,  S.  A." 

Notes. 

"Oct.  lltJi. — Speaking  of  one  of  the  comparisons  in  Scrip- 
ture, 'Just  think,'  said  she,  'what  a  glorious  reality  that 
must  be  which  is  illustrated  by  so  many  types.' 

"  To-day  she  has  had  much  pleasure  in  anticipating  '  the 
Association,'  and  in  confidence  of  a  blessing  attending  it. 
Spoke  of  our  having  no  misgivings  when  we  look  to  God  only, 
and  thought  it  would  be  very  strange,  if  a  traveller  always 
looked  at  the  dusty  road,  instead  of  the  bright  skies. 

"Looking  at  dear  Dr.  Clark*^s  likeness,  she  said  it  re- 
minded  her, 

'  Lo !  what  a  cloud  of  witnesses 
Encompass  us  around  ; 
Men  once,  like  us,  with  suffering  tried, 
But  now  with  glory  crowned  ;" 


1846.]  NOTES.  373 

and  said  that  his  memory  was  enshrined  in  her  heart.  She 
said  that  his  Christian  character  was  high  in  its  heights,  and 
deep  in  its  depths. 

"  In  reference  to  Mr. 's  sermon,  in  which  the  doctrine 

of  the  imputed  righteousness  of  Christ  was  denied,  she  said, 
'  I  hope  I  shouhl  rather  be  carried  to  the  stake,  from  this  sick 
bed,  than  subscribe  to  that  sermon. 

"Mentioning  the  lines, 

*  The  hill  of  Zion  yields 

A  thousand  sacred  sweets, 
Before  we  reach  the  Heavenly  fields. 
Or  walk  the  golden  streets/ 

she  spoke  with  animation  of  the  present  enjoyment  of  religion. 

'■^Nov.  \st. — This  evening,  was  reading  aloud  the  Memoirs 
of  Isabella  Campbell,  and  approaching  the  closing  hours  of 
her  life,  I  suggested  that  it  would  be  best  to  discontinue  read- 
ing. Susan  replied,  '  I  cannot  make  people  understand  that 
there  is  nothing  gloomy  in  the  thought  of  death.'  She  has 
spoken,  on  several  occasions,  of  receiving  the  Communion 
again.  She  had  a  delightful  visit  and  prayer  from  Bishop 
Potter,  the  evening  he  preached  at  the  series  of  services. 

"iVbv.  4^7i. — Her  symptoms  have  been  more  discouraging, 
but  she  is  kept  in  a  state  of  wonderful  submission.  F.  last 
night  concluded  reading  the  Memoir  of  Isabella  Campbell, 
with  which  she  was  much  delighted.  A  verse  quoted  in  it 
seemed  to  express  her  feelings  : 

'  Let  others  boast  of  merit  now, 

But  merit  I  have  none, 
I'm  justified  for  Jesus'  sake, 
I'm  saved  by  grace  alone.' 

"How  many  opportunities  occur  for  Susan  to  labor  for  the 
Cause  !  A  little  girl  seemed  struck  with  a  visit  she  paid  her, 
and  will,  I  trust,  be  influenced  by  her  advice.  To-morrow, 
or  next  day,  it  will  be  seven  years  since  she  walked  down 
stairs." 

32 


374  LETTERS.  [1846. 

To  R.  S. 

"Nov.  21,  1846. 

*  *  *  "  That  your  faith  and  weakness  are  tested,  in  the  posi- 
tion in  which  you  are  placed,  I  am  not  surprised  to  hear.  In  every 
trial  I  trust  God  will  give  you  grace  to  prove  yourself,  not  only  a 
'soldier  of  the  Cross,'  but  a  'follower  of  the  Lamb.'  For  the  aid 
you  have  received  I  am  truly  thankful,  and  I  doubt  not  the  circum- 
stances to  which  you  evidently  allude  are  among  the  '  all  things  which 
shall  work  together  for  your  good.'  In  your  efforts  to  glorify  your 
Heavenly  Father,  you  must  expect  the  opposition  of  His  enemies, 
and  tenderly  as  I  love  you,  I  would  far  rather  that  you  should  take 
up  the  Cross  and  press  onward,  than  shrink  from  so  needful  a  con- 
test ;  and  yet,  my  dear  cousin,  I  trust  the  enemies  of  your  Saviour 
may  have  nothing  to  say  against  you,  '  excepting  as  concerning  the 
law  of  your  God.'  I  should  not  wonder  if  it  were  your  privilege  to 
win  them  to  His  service.  I  pray  that  it  may  be  thus,  and  I  feel 
strong  confidence  that  strength  will  be  made  perfect  in  your  weak- 
ness. Very  cordially  can  I  offer  you  the  language  of  encouragement. 
May  '  The  Rock  that  is  higher'  than  you  be  your  shelter  and  shade. 
Ever  plead  the  promises  with  faith  and  holy  importunity,  trusting 
simply  in  Jesus.  I  feel  quite  an  interest  in  the  young  man  of  whom 
you  speak,  and  hope  I  shall  not  forget  to  pray  for  him.  Tell  him 
always  of  the  Saviour's  dying  love,  let  him  read  of  the  garden  of 
Gethsemane  and  Calvary's  Cross,  and  pray  for  grace  to  realize  that 
this  suffering  was  for  him.  I  will  try  to  pray  earnestly  for  a  bless- 
ing on  your  prayer-meeting  and  the  College. 

"  I  trust,  in  all  your  efforts  for  the  present  and  future  extension 
of  the  Gospel,  you  will  teach  truth  in  its  entire  simplicity,  maintain- 
ing the  blessed  doctrine  of  imputed  righteousness  which  I  know  is 
most  dear  to  your  heart.  If  the  testimony  of  a  pardoned  sinner,  and 
a  sufferer  who  has  been  consoled,  can  be  of  any  value,  most  joyfully 
I  give  mine — that  this  is  a  soul-sustaining  truth.  I  feel  assured, 
dear  Robert,  that  you  will  preach  this  doctrine  clearly,  and  therefore 
I  bid  you  '  God  speed'  in  all  your  preparation  for  the  ministry.  You 
would  not  know  what  to  say  when  you  entered  the  pulpit,  if  you 
could  not  dwell  upon  the  finished  righteousness  of  Christ." 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 

1847. 

Conversational  Remarks  —  Letters:  to  Relatives:  to  an  Invalid:  to  a 
Fatherless  Daughter:  to  ^Y.  A.  N.  —  Estimate  of  Archbishop  Leigh- 
ton —  Mystical  Writers  —  Letter  to  Bishop  Potter  —  Letter  of  Cau- 
tion to  a  Young  Disciple  :  to  Mrs.  Bedell  —  Recollections  of  Dr.  B. — 
St.  Andrew's  —  Flattery- — Visitors  —  Adaptation  to  all  Classes  — 
Henry  Clay's  Visit  and  Conversation  —  Correspondence  with  Mr. 
Clay. 

JVotes. 

^^  Jan.  1st,  1847.  —  Dear  S.  seemed,  yesterday,  deeply  to 
realize  its  being  the  last  day  of  the  year.  Speaking  of  the 
first  Sunday  in  the  year,  she  thought  it  should  be  observed 
as  a  day  of  thanksgiving.  '  How  pleasant  it  is,'  she  said, 
'  to  leave  the  future  calmly  and  unreservedly  in  the  hands  of 
our  Heavenly  Father  !'  All  we  have  to  do  in  sickness,  is  to 
live  by  the  hour. 

"  She  spoke  of  the  kindness  of  our  Heavenly  Father,  that 
He  had  not  given  us  the  spirit  of  fear,  but  of  love,  and  of  a 
sound  mind.  She  found  much  pleasure  in  listening  to 
'  Theron  and  Aspasia.'  " 

"  Jan.  ^d.  —  S.  spoke  of  resignation  to  all  the  circum- 
stances of  sickness  ;  repeated  the  lines  : 

'  When  I  can  trust  my  all  with  God, 

In  trial's  fearful  hour, 
Bow  all  resigned,  beneath  His  rod,  j 

And  feel  Ilis  quickening  powei  ; 
A  joy  springs  up  amid  distress, 
A  fountain  in  the  wilderness.' 

When  I  spoke  of  the  promise  that  '  all  things  shall  work  to- 
gether for  good  to  them  that  love  God,'  she  said    '  That  is 

(375) 


376  NOTES.  [1846. 

one  of  the  truths  upon  which  my  soul  rests.'  Speaking  of 
my  great  solicitude,  she  remarked,  '  Just  try  to  honor  God 
by  not  being  so  anxious.' 

"After  the  visits  of  Mrs. and  Miss ,  she  seemed 

to  feel  that  there  was  a  great  deal  worth  living  for,  when  we 
could  tell  of  the  way  of  salvation.  When  conversing  on  the 
subject  of  making  effort,  she  seemed  convinced  that  Chris- 
tians were  often  afraid  of  bringing  themselves  into  dis- 
repute. 

"  Dear  S.  seems  so  elevated  by  near  communion  with  the 
Saviour,  that  she  can  count  all  things  but  loss,  in  comparison 
with  His  will  and  service.  She  observed,  '  It  is  right  to 
choose  our  acquaintance  rather  by  Providence,  than  by  taste.' 
She  thinks  the  danger  of  marrying  an  irreligious  person  so 
great,  that  she  would  rather  be  cast  into  a  dungeon,  than  be 
thus  brought  into  the  house  of  an  agreeable  and  intellectual 
man. 

"When  speaking  of  Dr.  S.  she  said  that  one  of  the  desires 
of  her  heart  had  been  gratified.  '  It  is  so  sweet,'  she  said, 
'  to  have  a  pious  physician  !'  Had  read  part  of  '  The  Night 
of  Weeping,'  and  after  it  was  concluded,  Susan  addressed  the 
throne  of  grace  most  touchingly.  She  praised  the  Lord  for 
chastisement ;  desired  that  we  might  travel  as  a  family  of 
faith  to  a  home  of  glory,  and  eaiaiestly  sought  for  us  the  graces 
that  we  need. 

"  She  spoke  once  of  her  situation  being  one  in  which  she 
saw  some  of  the  best  developments  of  kindly  feeling.  Who 
could  help  loving  the  patient,  lowly  sufferer ! 

"  She  one  day  remarked,  '  I  do  not  think  the  plan  of  salva- 
tion ever  appeared  to  me  so  beautifully  simple  as  since  I  have 
been  sick,  and  have  lived  upon  it  in  every  way.' 

^"Feh.  —  Spoke  of  the  promises  as  being  little  cities  of 
refuge  for  the  mind.  She  spoke  this  evening  of  tlie  Saviour 
having  borne  our  griefs  and  carried  our  sorrow!,  and  that 
there  was  no  necessity  for  carrying  them  ourselves 


1847.]  LETTERS.  377 

'■'■Feh.  2GtJi.  —  Spoke  of  our  ingratitude  for  our  mercies. 
E.  mentioned  sometliing  in  reference  to  the  ordinances  last 
niglit,  and  Susan  then  dwelt  upon  the  importance  of  their 
observance,  adducing  Scripture  proof  of  their  being  com- 
manded. Spoke  of  St.  Andrew's  being  the  spot  she  loves 
best  on  earth." 

To  her  jSister  and  Cousin. 

"  March  4th,  1847. 

"  I  must  say  a  few  words  of  love  to  two  of  my  best  and  dearest 
friends,  who  surely  have  no  common  claim  to  my  gratitude  and 
affection,  and  to  whom  I  would  most  gladly  return  some  of  the  kind 
offices  I  have  received.  It  seems  to  be  designed  that  I  should  be 
the  recipient  of  favors  rather  than  the  one  who  bestows  them ;  and 
how  abundantly  are  they  granted  me  by  my  Heavenly  Father,  and 
the  earthly  friends  into  whose  hearts  he  pours  so  much  love.  I 
think  gratitude  rather  than  submission  is  the  grace  I  am  most  called 
upon  to  exercise,  and  yet  both  are  needful,  and  for  both  I  am  depend- 
ent upon  Almighty  grace.     *     *     * 

"  I  feel  very  grateful  to  you,  my  dear  sister,  for  the  unfailing  ten- 
derness you  have  manifested  during  the  many  years  of  sickness 
which  have  called  into  exercise  your  nursing  qualifications.  Oh, 
that  the  balm  of  Gilead  may  be  richly  poured  upon  your  spirit,  and 
that  you  may  ever  simply  rely  upon  the  compassion  of  Him  who  is 
touched  with  a  feeling  of  our  infirmities !  That  soul  will  be  filled 
with  love  which  delights  to  contemplate  redeeming  mercy,  and 
brighter  light  will  dawn  upon  his  path  whose  eye  is  fixed  upon  the 
Sun  of  Righteousness."     *     *     * 

To  J.  H.  S. 

♦'Greenwood,  March  27,  1847. 

"A  letter  to  you  has  been  in  my  heart  this  long  time,  my  dear 
cousin,  and  as  sister  F.'s  pen  is  now  ready  to  transmit  my  thoughts, 
I  trust  you  will  soon  receive  an  assurance  that  you  are  not  quite  for- 
gotten.    ■*     *     * 

"  Your  eulogium  upon  Henry  Martyn's  character  gives  me  also 
an  opportunity  of  descanting  upon  one  of  my  greatest  favorites.  The 
enthusiastic  feelings  with  which,  in  my  school-girl  days,  I  regarded 
some  favorite  military  hero,  I  have  since  transferred  to  this  valiant 
soldier  of  the  Cross.  Since  I  read  his  life,  I  have  felt  as  though  I 
had  formed  another  friendship  for  eternity;   but  in  saying  this,  1 

32* 


378  LETTERS.  [1847. 

must  look  from  him  and  from  myself  to  my  Saviour,  or  I  should  have 
no  hope  of  being  with  him  there. 

"  I  thank  you  for  recording  some  of  Dr.  S.'s  remarks.  You  ought 
to  return  thanks  every  day  for  your  privileges;  you  will  need  their 
influence  in  future  life.  I  am  glad  to  hear  that  your  efforts  on  your 
stations  have  received  some  encouragement.  I  hope  you  will  be 
the  instrument  of  much  good,  even  before  you  assume  ministerial 
vows.     *     *     * 

"  Sister  F.  is  my  reader  and  amanuensis.  "We  have  at  last  finished 
Plervey's  *  Theron  and  Aspasia.'  The  style  is  redundant,  but  it  is 
certainly  a  most  profitable  work.  It  would  be  well  to  recommend  it 
to  one  who  is  beginning  to  inquire,  '  What  is  Truth  V  It  brings  a 
powerful  array  of  Scripture  arguments  to  prove  the  doctrine  of  im- 
puted righteousness. 

"  I  am  much  obliged  to  you  for  associating  me  with  wild  flowers. 
I  certainly  love  them  very  much,  and  you  can  scarcely  imagine  how 
much  pleasure  they  have  given  me  since  I  have  been  unable  to 
gather  them.  Do  you  remember  Wilberforce's  remark,  that  'flowers 
were  the  smiles  of  Providence'?  But  this  is  one  of  my  favorite 
subjects,  —  and  I  must  abruptly  change  it  for  an  expression  of  my 
very  warm  afi"ection  for  my  dear  Howard,  who  is  daily  remembered 
in  the  prayers  of  his  cousin  SuSAN." 

To  a  Yovnt/  Ladi/,  iclio  aftcricards  died  of  Consumption. 

"■  You  have  come  to  our  village  an  invalid  and  a  stranger,  dear 

Miss  H .     My  heart  is  full  of  affectionate  sympathy  for  you  and 

your  devoted  parents.  I  hope  very  much  that  you  will  be  able  to 
come  and  see  me,  that  I  may  express  my  interest  more  fully  than  I 
can  do  through  the  medium  of  my  sister's  pen,  for  I  am  unable  to 
use  my  own.  How  much  I  should  love  to  tell  you  how  kindly  the 
good  Shepherd  of  Israel  has  guided  me  through  the  years  of  suffer- 
ing, His  wisdom  and  love  have  seen  needful  to  inflict.  It  is  only 
in  '  looking  unto  Jesus'  that  we  can  find  consolation  in  the  hour  of 
need ;  and  sincerely  I  hope  that  you  are  enabled  to  lift  the  eye  of 
faith  to  this  compassionate  Redeemer,  who  hath  'borne  our  griefs 
and  carried  our  sorrows,'  and  on  whom  the  Lord  'hath  laid  the  ini- 
quity of  us  all.'  The  interesting  memoir  I  send  you  is  an  encour- 
aging exemplification  of  Ilis  power  to  sustain  under  the  most  painful 
circumstances.  It  was  written  by  my  former  Pastor,  wlio  was  warmly 
attached  to  this  lovely  young  Christian.  I  send  you  my  favorite 
flower — the  lily  of  the  valley      Will  you  not  gratify  me  by  using 


1847.]  LETTERS.  379 

the  little  carriage,  in  which  I  formerly  rode  through  the  village,  and 
often  visited  the  woods  ?  You  must  employ  a  careful  person  to  draw 
you  :  the  curtains  will  shelter  you  from  the  sun,  and  I  think  you  will 
find  the  exercise  useful.  But  I  must  not  weary  you.  Accept  my 
thanks  for  the  kind  offering  of  yesterday  and  believe  me,  with 
prayerful  interest,  sincerely  yours. 

To  a  Friend. 

"  M ,  dear  M ,  what  can  I  say  to  comfort  you  in  this  your 

great  bereavement  —  the  loss  of  such  a  father  as  few  could  lose,  this 
is  iqdeed  a  dark  cloud  upon  the  sunshine  of  your  young  days.  You 
are  not  accustomed  to  sorrow,  and  God  only  can  enable  you  to  bear 
it.  I  trust  His  Word  will  be  your  refuge,  and  there  you  will  find 
the  merciful  invitation,  '  Wilt  thou  not  from  this  time  cry  unto  me, 
My  Father,  thou  art  the  guide  of  my  youth.'  '  From  this  time  1' 
How  suitable  the  expression  —  now  that  your  heart,  which  has 
reposed  so  fondly  upon  a  father's  love,  will  yearn  in  vain  for  big 
affectionate  caress,  his  faithful  counsel  and  his  tender  guardianship. 
Oh  !  M.,  I  wished  you  to  have  given  your  heart  to  God  before  the 
hour  of  sorrow  came,  but  I  trust  you  will  now  listen  to  the  whisper- 
ings of  that  still  small  voice  which  speaks  to  you  in  the  silence  of 
your  desolated  home.  Oh,  that  the  blessed  Spirit  may  reprove  you 
of  sin,  of  righteousness  and  of  judgment  to  come !  Oh,  that  He 
may  cause  your  heart  to  feel  all  of  which  your  understanding  is  con- 
vinced, and  apply  to  your  wounded  spirit  that  healing  which  the 
lowly  and  contrite  can  alone  receive.  And  then,  my  dear  M.,  you 
will  indeed  find  that  there  is  '  oil  of  joy  for  mourning,  and  the  gar- 
ment of  praise  for  the  spirit  of  heaviness.'  Oh,  that  your  chamber 
may  be  the  scene  of  holy  communion  with  the  Most  High  !  Surely 
He  has  listened  to  the  earnest  supplications  of  your  departed  father, 
and  in  answer  to  these  prayers  He  has  sent  the  strivings  of  His 
Spirit,  without  whose  aid  you  could  not  seek  Him.  But  remember 
that  it  is  the  promise  of  our  Saviour,  '  Him  that  cometh  unto  me  I 
will  in  no  wise  cast  out.'  He  who  thirsts  for  salvation  must  come 
to  the  Fountain  of  living  waters ;  he  who  would  receive  the  Holy 
Spirit's  influences  must  ask,  must  seek,  must  knock  with  earnest  im- 
portunity.    How  gladly  would  I  hasten  to  you,  dear ,  that  I 

might  weep  with  you,  pray  with  you  and  tell  you  of  a  Saviour's  love. 
I  offer  you  a  sister's  sympathy,  and  it  is  the  sympathy  of  an  orphan 
whose  heart  has  been  broken  and  bound  up.     I  need  not  say  that  I 


380  LETTERS.  [1847. 

feci  much  for  your  poor  mother.  How  painfully  she  must  realize 
the  absence  of  the  employment  that  has  occupied  her  so  long !  The 
sufferings  she  was  so  anxious  to  alleviate  are  endured  no  more ;  the 
weary  is  at  rest ;  the  pilgrim  has  arrived  at  home.  Your  sister  told 
me  he  loved  so  much  to  talk  of  the  patriarchs :  how  much  more 
would  he  tell  us  of  them  now !  Surely  they  must  have  gladly  wel- 
comed so  congenial  a  spirit.  That  Saviour  whom  he  trusted  so  con- 
fidingly he  now  beholds  with  unclouded  vision.  He  is  satisfied,  for 
he  has  awaked  with  His  likeness." 

To  W.  A.  W. 

»' Sept.  7th,  1847. 
"A  very  long  time  has  elapsed  since  I  have  addressed  a  letter  to 
my  dearest  W.,  and  the  last  I  wrote  was  one  of  earnest  persuasion 
to  come  to  that  blessed  Saviour  who  is  now  so  precious  to  my  darling 
boy.  I  cannot  say,  'I  thank  my  God  upon  every  remembrance  of 
you,'  but  many  fervent  thanksgivings  have  ascended  to  that  kind 
Heavenly  Father  who  has  received  my  heart's  cherished  treasure 
into  the  covenant  of  mercy.  Before  this  rich  gift  of  grace  was 
granted,  I  committed  you  in  faith  to  Him  who  answers  prayer,  and 
with  much  more  confidence  I  can  now  entrust  your  temporal  and 
eternal  interests  to  His  keeping.  Not  for  ourselves  only,  but  for 
our  friends  also  it  is  indeed 

'  Sweet  on  Ills  faithfulness  to  rest, 
Whose  love  can  never  end, 
Sweet  on  the  covenant  of  grace, 
For  all  things  to  depend. 

'  Sweet  in  the  confidence  of  faith. 
To  trust  Ilis^rm  decrees, 
Sweet  to  lie  passive  in  His  hands. 
And  know  no  will  but  His.' 

"  May  this  be  ever  our  experience,  dear  "W. !  We  shall  then 
realize  the  fulfilment  of  the  promises  :  '  He  shall  dwell  on  high  ;  his 
place  of  defence  shall  be  the  munition  of  rocks.'  '  Thou  wilt  keep 
him  in  perfect  peace  whose  mind  is  stayed  on  Thee,  because  he 
trusteth  in  Thee.'  Oh,  how  much  more  desirable  is  this  holy  tran- 
quillity of  spirit  than  all  the  excitement  of  earthly  pleasure !  But 
we  have  both  been  taught  that  it  can  be  only  enjoyed  when  we  turn 
away  from  our  sinful  selves,  and  rest  only  in  the  Lord  our  righteous- 
ness.    1  often  think  of  the  pleasant  hours  we  have  passed  to"-ether. 


1847.]  LETTERS.  381 

I  have  not  listened  to  our  beloved  Leifrhton  since  those  Sunday 
afternoons.  If  my  library  were  to  be  confined  to  but  thi-ee  books, 
Archbishop  Leighton's  works  should  certainly  be  one  of  them.  There 
are  many  volumes  which  speak  very  eloquently  of  the  beauty  of 
holiness,  and  prescribe  various  rules  for  its  attainment,  but  I  do  not 
think  any  uninspired  author  equals  him  in  directing  the  attention  to 
the  Sun  of  Righteousness,  as  the  only  source  from  whom  the  believer 
can  receive  light  and  heat.  I  do  not  like  those  mystical  religious 
writings  which  present  beautiful  theories,- but  are  too  abstract  in 
their  theology.  A  book  of  this  kind  is  Upham's  '  Hidden  Life,' 
which  dwells  much  upon  the  precious  doctrine  of  assurance,  but 
teaches  us  to  look  for  its  evidence  rather  in  inherent  holiness  than 
in  the  imputed  righteousness  of  Christ,  appropriated  by  faith  and 
sealed  to  His  disciple  by  the  spirit  of  adoption,  enabling  him  to  call 
God  Father,  not  because  he  is  any  thing  in  himself,  but  because  he 
is  Christ's,  and  Christ  is  God's. 

"  How  glad  I  would  have  been  if  my  dearest  boy  could  have  been 
with  us  when  Bishop  Potter  administered  the  communion  about  ten 
days  since.  Do  not  forget  to  return  thanks  to  our  Heavenly  Father 
for  the  spiritual  comfort  he  vouchsafed  me.  I  have  often  thought 
that  if  communion  with  our  God  be  a  test  of  the  acceptableness  of 
any  service,  I  have  this  proof  that  these  holy  memorials  are  received 
in  accordance  with  His  will,  and  glad  I  am  that  our  Church  does 
not  deprive  the  invalid  of  this  privilege.  I  wish  our  dear  cousins 
could  have  been  with  us.  I  had  an  interesting  conversation  with 
the  Bishop  quite  alone.  He  dwelt  upon  the  hidden  life,  —  of  the 
necessity  of  having  the  kingdom  of  Christ  within  us.  It  seems  to 
pain  him  greatly  that  so  little  property  is  consecrated  to  the  exten- 
sion of  the  Gospel,  and  thinks  the  subject  should  be  presented  very 
impressively.  I  begin  to  feel  encouraged  about  the  Bucks  County 
church.  There  is  light  in  the  horizon,  but  nothing  definite  has 
been  yet  attempted,  so  I  will  only  say.  Pray  much  upon  this  subject, 
dear  W.  I  do  not  see  how  missionary  interest  could  be  better 
expended.  Sister  has  been  reading  to  me  a  delightful  volume  of 
Henry  Martyn's  letters.  The  record  of  his  last  journey  is  deeply 
affecting.  Oh,  that  his  missionary  spirit  were  ours  !  Oh,  that  we 
may  pray  as  he  did,  though  we  be  not  required  to  prove  our  zeal  by 
the  self-sacrifice  he  endured  !  I  think  it  very  needful  to  read  the 
life  of  missionaries,  and  to  make  every  effort  to  acquire  intelligence 
of  this  kind.  Even  at  home  let  this  be  our  motto :  'As  we  have 
therefore  opportunity,  let  us  do  good  unto  all  men.'  "     *     *     * 


382  LETTERS.  [1847. 

To  Right  Rev.  Bishop  Potter. 

"  Since  the  sympathy  and  counsel  I  have  received  from  you,  Et. 
Rev.  Sir,  are  a  sufficient  proof  that  the  more  public  duties  of  your 
sacred  office  do  not  render  you  unmindful  of  the  lame  of  the  fold,  I 
need  not  fear  that  my  epistolary  visit  will  engross  too  many  moments 
of  your  valuable  time. 

"I  shall  never  forget  the  emotions  which  were  excited  by  our  first 
interview.  The  election  of  our  Bishop  had  been  to  me  a  subject  of 
deep  solicitude  and  earnest  prayer,  and  as  I  already  believed  our 
Heavenly  Father  had  sent  you  to  us  as  a  gift  of  love,  I  was  prepared 
to  welcome  you  with  no  ordinary  pleasure.  But  when  you  spoke 
vyith  such  heartfelt  interest  of  our  Redeemer's  love,  and  commended 
me  to  the  continued  guardianship  of  the  Great  Shepherd  of  Israel, 
I  felt  as  though  a  kind  pastor  were  with  me,  and  since  then  have 
numbered  you  among  my  valued  friends. 

"  Your  last  visit  was  still  more  welcome  than  any  I  have  been 
privileged  to  enjoy,  for  then  you  came  to  me  not  with  words  of  com- 
fort and  the  prayer  of  faith  alone,  but  with  the  holy  memorials  which 
remind  me  how  confidently  I  may  rely  upon  the  finished  work  of 
Him  who  is  '  all  my  salvation  and  all  my  desire.'  I  did  indeed 
'feed  upon  Christ  in  my  heart,  by  faith  with  thanksgiving;'  and 
how  kindly  does  the  Father  of  mercies  continually  refresh  my  soul 
with  this  'hidden  manna' !  it  is  indeed  my  daily  bread.  Will  you 
not  pray  that  I  may  be  taught  '  the  breadth,  and  length,  and  depth 
and  height  of  the  love  of  Christ'  ? 

*  *  *  u\  often  think  of  the  remark  of  a  cousin,  whose  depart- 
ing moments  were  unusually  interesting :  '  Caesar  covered  himself 
with  his  robes  that  he  might  die  with  decency,  but  I  am  clothed  with 
the  robe  of  Christ's  righteousness.'     *     *     * 

"  My  brother  has  placed  your  engraving  in  my  room,  and  it  often 
reminds  me  to  lift  up  my  heart  in  supplication  for  our  beloved 
Bishop.  Indeed,  I  have  sometimes  felt  a  spirit  of  prayer  for  you 
that  has  almost  surprised  me.  I  know  your  position  is  one  of  labor 
and  of  responsibility,  which  you  deeply  realize.  Oh  !  that  the  Captain 
of  our  salvation,  at  whose  bidding  you  are  placed  upon  the  outposts 
of  Zion,  may  so  richly  anoint  you  with  the  Spirit  that  you  may  ever 
with  uncompromising  fidelity  defend  the  doctrines  of  the  Cross,  and 
whilst  with  unshaken  hand  you  support  its  banner,  may  its  blessed 
consolations  be  poured  into  your  bosom  !"     *     *     * 


1847.]  LETTERS.  383 

To  a  Young   Christian. 

"  Although  I  am  now  always  involved  in  epistolary  debt,  I  am 
not  unmindful  of  the  claims  of  my  friends;  and  of  yours,  dear  R.,  I 
have  thought  very  often.  I  have  long  wished  to  answer  your  con- 
fiding and  affectionate  letter,  that  I  might  elicit  another  communica- 
tion from  your  pen,  but  I  cannot  always  command  both  strength  and 
leisure  for  the  dictation  of  my  letters.  I  will  not,  however,  occupy 
my  sister's  pen  with  a  very  formal  apology,  for  this  you  will  not  re- 
quire from  an  invalid,  and  I  hope  I  shall  soon  receive  an  assurance 
that  you  do  not  intend  to  be  a  ceremonious  correspondent,  but  will 
write  very  often  to  one  who  loves  you  for  your  father's  sake.  I  am 
glad  your  memory  still  retains  his  counsels,  for  they  were  of  no  ordi- 
nary character.  Let  us  ever  learn  of  the  same  Saviour  who  taught 
him  so  much.  What  a  blessed  attainment  is  conformity  to  the  image 
of  Jesus  !  Whilst  it  elevates  the  intellect,  purifies  the  aff'ections,  and 
sanctifies  the  taste,  it  takes  away  pride,  and  gives  tranquillity  to  the 
spirit.  I  feel  truly  thankful  that  our  Heavenly  Father's  great  love 
has  induced  you,  my  dear  friend,  to  seek  this  blessing.  I  trust  the 
example  of  other  Christians  will  never  be  your  standard  of  duty,  but 
that,  in  'looking  unto  Jesus,'  the  Author  and  Finisher  of  our  faith, 
you  will  become  so  like  this  meek  and  lowly  Saviour,  that  you  will 
ever  be  recognised  as  his  disciple.  Oh  that  heavenly  grace  may  be 
your  shield  against  the  temptations  from  which  your  retirement  from 
society  has  in  some  measure  sheltered  you !  When  your  friends 
would  solicit  you  to  revisit  scenes  of  gaiety,  may  you  ever  remember 
that  the  children  of  God  have  been  taught  to  ofier  the  petition, 
'Lead  us  not  into  temptation.'  Our  hearts  are  so  sinful,  the  enemy 
of  our  souls  so  vigilant,  and  the  varied  circumstances  of  every-day 
life  so  full  of  spiritual  danger,  that  it  is  useless,  indeed,  to  expose 
ourselves  to  any  unnecessary  test  of  Christian  principle.  I  often 
think  of  a  resolution  formed  by  my  youngest  sister,  in  the  commence- 
ment of  her  religious  life,  that  she  would  read  no  books  upon  which 
she  could  not  ask  the  blessing  ofrher  Heavenly  Father.  Would  it 
not  be  well  to  apply  this  rule,  not  to  our  reading  only,  but  all  the 
pursuits  of  life  ?  The  disciples  of  Jesus  must  dare  to  be  singular. 
It  is  melancholy,  indeed,  that  they  so  often  forget  this  solemn  truth. 
We  sometimes  look  in  vain  for  the  cross  our  Saviour  has  told  them 
they  must  bear.  Oh  that  God  may  give  you  grace,  dear  R.,  to  '  lay 
aside  every  weight.'  I  am  glad  you  enjoy  peace  of  mind,  for  this  is 
a  blessed  preservative  against  spiritual  declension.     When  the  eye 


384  LETTERS.  [1847. 

of  faith  is  fixed  upon  the  Saviour,  the  allurements  of  the  world  are 
forgotten. 

"  Oh  that  the  blessing  promised  to  those  who  '  hunger  and  thirst 
after  righteousness/  may  be  yours  !  As  my  departed  Pastor  once 
remarked  to  me,  '  The  promise  is  not  that  you  are  filled,  but  that 
you  shall  be.'  How  sweet  is  the  assurance,  '  With  joy  you  shall 
draw  water  out  of  the  wells  of  salvation.'  I  trust  you  will  never  re- 
pair to  the  broken  cisterns  of  unsanctified  affection.  How  many 
young  Christians  have  been  thus  induced  to  forsake  the  fountain  of 
living  waters  !  I  think  it  so  important  to  form  decided  opinions  on 
this  subject  before  the  afiections  are  engaged.  It  would  be  sorrow- 
ful, indeed,  to  be  united  upon  earth  to  one  with  whom  we  could  not 
hope  to  enter  heaven.  You  will  think  I  am  disposed  to  avail  myself 
of  the  privilege  you  have  given  me. 

"  I  need  not  again  express  my  sympathy  for  your  bereavement. 
You  speak  of  it  as  one  who  has  suffered,  and  been  comforted.  How 
kind  it  was  in  the  Father  of  mercies  to  grant  dear  E.'s  friends  the 
consolation  of  knowing  that  His  Spirit  was  speaking  to  her  heart ! 
Remember  me  kindly  to  your  mother  and  brother.  Ask  T.  if  he  is 
striving  to  serve  the  God  of  his  father,  if  his  Saviour's  love  has 
washed  away  his  sins  ?  *  *  *  I  shall  be  disappointed  if  I  do 
not  receive  a  letter  from  you.  It  will  be  gladly  welcomed  by  your 
affectionate  friend,  S.  A." 

To  Mrs.  Bedell 

*  *  *  f <  I  am  not  surprised  that  you  feel  so  deep  an  interest 
in  the  Greek  Mission.  May  our  Heavenly  Father's  blessing  rest 
upon  every  effort  for  its  promotion  !  How  glad  I  should  be  to  extend 
more  efficient  aid  than  this  offeriug  will  give.  How  thankful  I  feel 
that  the  blessing  of  the  Most  High  has  rested  upon  the  labors  of 
your  son  !  I  have  often  felt  that  I  ought  to  pray  very  earnestly  for 
him.  How  gratefully  I  cherish  the  memory  of  his  beloved  Father ! 
May  grace,  mercy  and  peace  rest  upon  all  who  bear  his  name  ! 
Never  can  I  be  thankful  enough  for  the  providential  guidance  which 
directed  my  steps  to  our  beloved  St.  Andrew's.  Though  other  in- 
strumentality was  employed  to  arouse  my  attention  to  the  importance 
of  religion,  your  husband's  earnest  exhortations  were  the  means  of 
ci;reatly  increasing  this  conviction,  and  it  was  when  he  assured  me 
from  the  pulpit  that  Jesus  was  ready  at  once  to  receive  the  repenting 
sinner,  tha*-  I  was  enabled  to  believe  that  He  would  not  cast  me 
out. 


1847.]  LETTERS.  385 

"  How  often  I  think  of  that  pale  face,  irradiated  with  holy  emo- 
tion, and  how  vivid  is  the  recollection  of  the  faithful  counsels  of  my 
beloved  Pastor  !  My  heart  is  pained  that  I  have  not  more  diligently 
imitated  his  example,  but  I  anticipate,  for  our  Saviour's  sake,  a  joy- 
ful reunion  in  the  world  above. 

"  Have  you  not  often  rejoiced,  dear  Mrs.  B.,  that  the  pulpit  of  St. 
Andrew's  has  always  reechoed  the  truths  he  taught ?  that  the  pre- 
cious doctrine  of  justification  by  Christ's  righteousness  has  been  there 
so  earnestly  proclaimed  ?  I  find  St.  Andrew's  theology  endures  the 
test  of  years  of  suffering,  but  I  will  not  call  them  so,  for  surely  con- 
solation has  much  more  abounded.  I  come  all  the  time  to  Jesus  as 
a  poor,  helpless  sinner,  and  find  Him  my  all-sufficient  Saviour.  I 
come  to  Him  as  an  orphan,  and  ^as  one  whom  His  Mother  comforteth, 
so  He  comforts'  me.  I  bring  to  Him  the  pain  and  weariness  of  an 
almost  exhausted  frame,  and  realize  that  '  we  have  not  an  High 
Priest  which  cannot  be  touched  with  a  feeling  of  our  infirmities,'  and 
experience  confirms  my  hope  that  He  will  never  leave  me  nor  for- 
sake me. 

"  During  the  past  year  I  have  been  very  ill,  and  have  received 
renewed  evidence  of  the  long-tried  love  of  those  sisters  of  whom  you 
speak.  *  *  *  What  a  comfort  it  is  to  know  that  physical  ail- 
ments, as  well  as  other  trials  of  life,  are  among  the  '  all  things' 
which  shall  '  work  together  for  good  to  them  that  love  God  V  "    *  * 

To  Miss  E. 

"January,  1848. 

"  There  is  a  friend  that  sticketh  closer  than  a  brother,  and  who 
ever  liveth  to  comfort  and  bless  His  disciples :  and  how  thankful  I 
feel  that  you  are  one  of  these,  dearest  Miss  E.  !  If  it  were  not  so,  I 
would  tell  j^ou  to  go  to  Jesus;  but  then  you  could  not  know  Him  as 
a  well-tried  friend.  Until  you  had  received  Him  as  a  Saviour,  you 
could  not  realize  that  He  is  the  '  Consolation  of  Israel,'  that  He 
looks  upon  you  with  pity  and  with  love. 

*'  You  feel  more  than  ever  that  you  are  indeed  in  '  a  weary  land,' 
but  '  the  shadow  of  a  great  Rock'  is  your  refuge.  Even  there  it  is 
not  sinful  to  shed  tears  of  sorrow.  It  cannot  be  that  you  should  not 
suffier  deeply  from  a  trial  so  afflictive  as  that  you  have  so  recently 
sustained,  for  it  is  in  Heaven  alone  we  are  promised  that  '  God  shall 
wipe  away  all  tears.'  Here  they  fall,  and  fall  again,  even  from  the 
Christian's  eye,  but  he  weeps  not  as  those  who  know  not  a  Saviour's 
love.  I  often  think  of  the  visit  I  once  received  from  a  clergyman 
whose  daughter  had  gone  to  her  heavenly  home  but  two  days  before. 
z  33 


386  DIARY.  [1847. 

He  was  a  most  affectionate  father,  and  it  was  evident  that  ho  suffered 
deeply,  but  his  consolation  was  greater  than  his  grief,  and  he  was 
enabled  to  '  glory  iu  tribulation.'  After  he  left  us,  we  had  a  shower 
whilst  the  sun  was  still  shining,  and  his  brightness  was  so  beauti- 
fully reflected  by  the  droj^s  of  rain,  that  I  was  reminded  of  the  sanc- 
tified sorrow  of  the  man  of  God.  Is  it  not  a  privilege  to  be  thus 
permitted  to  prove  that  no  trial  is  too  great  for  the  sustaining  power 
of  grace?  No  storm  so  boisterous  that  the  soothing  sound,  '  It  is 
I;  be  not  afraid,'  cannot  meet  the  ear  of  faith.  This,  I  trust,  is 
the  experience  of  my  more  than  ever  dear  Miss  B.  My  heart  has- 
tens to  you  with  yearnings  of  sympathy.  I  well  remember  the  in- 
terest with  which  you  spoke  of  your  beloved  brother  some  time  since. 
It  may  be  that  your  many  prayers  have  been  answered,  though  you 
may  have  received  no  tidings  of  such  joy,  and  we  may  hope  that  this 
solemn  lesson  will  be  one  of  deep  instruction  to  the  surviving  mem- 
bers of  your  family.  You,  dearest  Miss  E.,  are  one  of  the  family 
of  God.  His  people  are  your  people,  and  their  hearts  entwine  around 
you.     You  require  no  assurance  of  the  warm  affection  of  your  friend, 

From  her  Diary. 

'■^Aug.  25th. — Was  very  glad  to  receive  a  visit  from  — — , 
and  as  usual,  enjoyed  it  very  mucli.  We  were  talking  of  the 
danger  of  tempting  others  to  spiritual  pride,  and  he  remarked 
that  he  wished  it  were  remembered  that  ministers  are  but 
men,  through  whom  they  believe.  He  said  persons  would 
make  eulogistic  remarks  in  his  presence,  and  say  they  knew 
this  would  not  affect  him ;  and'lie  would  reply  that  they  first 
flattered  him  by  telling  him  that  he  could  not  be  flattered, 
and  then  poured  in  the  poison  most  congenial  to  his  taste.  He 
says  he  knows  of  the  downfall  of  several  very  eminent  Chris- 
tians, who  became  lifted  up. 

'  Lord,  forever  at  Thy  side, 

Let  my  place  and  portion  be, 
Strip  me  of  the  robe  of  pride, 
Clothe  me  with  humility.' 

"  On  Wednesday  I  had  a  visit  from  an  Indian  who  knows 
the  love  of  Jesus." 


1847.]  VISITORS.  387 

The  number  of  visitors  who  sought  Miss  Allibone's  society 
was  by  no  means  small,  and  the  desire  of  being  useful  made 
her  generally  accessible.  In  spite,  therefore,  of  her  confine- 
ment for  so  many  years  to  her  own  room,  she  saw  a  variety 
of  persons  of  almost  every  rank  in  life.  Personal  convenience 
and  comfort  were  of  no  consideration  with  her  when  the  op- 
portunity was  presented  of  comforting  some  perplexed  and 
burdened  spirit,  or  of  guiding  even  a  child  to  the  Saviour's 
fold.  While  ever  the  sympathizing  friend  of  the  poor  and 
troubled,  her  society  was  exceedingly  agreeable  to  the  intel- 
lectual, the  refined  and  the  honored.  To  all  alike  the  Chris- 
tian counsellor,  the  pleader  for  the  claims  of  Jesus,  the  fear- 
less, faithful  admonisher,  she  could  at  the  same  time  happily 
adapt  herself  to  the  tastes  and  characters  of  those  who  ap- 
proached her.  The  end  of  her  conversation  to  high  and  low, 
rich  and  poor,  the  statesman,  the  clergyman,  or  the  child, 
was  "Jesus  Christ,  the  same  yesterday,  to-day  and  for  ever." 
But  to  each  she  spoke  of  heavenly  things  in  the  manner  which 
they  could  best  appreciate  and  feel. 

There  is  a  record  in  her  Diary  for  February  7th,  1848,  of 
a  visit  which  she  received  from  the  Hon.  Henry  Cla}'',  which 
appears  to  have  been  mutually  gratifying,  and  which  led  to  a 
subsequent  interchange  of  letters.  Although  so  much  occu- 
pied with  religious  duties.  Miss  Allibone  w^as  not  an  uncon- 
cerned observer  of  public  events.  A  strong  attachment  to 
her  country  Avas  one  of  her  sanctified  feelings.  Often  did  her 
prayers  arise  to  the  throne  of  grace  in  behalf  of  her  beloved 
father-land,  and  fervently  did  she  invoke  divine  blessings 
upon  those  who  were  prominent  in  the  management  of  public 
affairs.  For  Mr.  Clay  she  had  cherished  peculiar  regard  and 
admiration,  and  the  opportunity  of  personal  intercourse  with 
him  she  gladly  welcomed.  Mr.  Clay  was  evidently  much  irh- 
pressed  by  his  visit  to  one  so  patient  in  tribulation,  and  who 
evinced  so  sincere  an  interest  in  his  spiritual  and  eternal 
welfare,  and  afterwards  referred  to  the  interview  with  deep 
emotion. 


388  HON.    H.    CLAY.  [1847. 

"i^fcS.  29^7^ — I  have  this  morning  enjoyed  the  delightful 
privilege  of  a  visit  from  Mr.  Clay,  and  of  an  interview  with 
him  quite  alone.  I  do  not  know  what  to  say  of  him.  I  ad- 
mire, esteem  and  love  him,  but  these  words  are  of  common 
parlance.  He  says  he  does  not  expect  rest  in  this  world, — 
he  hopes  he  will  find  it  elsewhere.  I  reminded  him  that  this 
troublesome  popularity  increased  his  opportunities  of  useful- 
ness, that  persons  who  would,  perhaps,  scarcely  listen  to  a 
stricture  from  a  clergyman,  would  receive  it  from  Mr.  Clay. 
I  told  him  that  his  remarks  in  reference  to  the  Sabbath,  when 
he  was  in  Philadelphia  before,  had  been  spoken  of  a  great 
deal. 

"  He  said  that  before  he  had  the  high  motives  which  he 
trusted  he  now  had  for  the  observance  of  the  Sabbath,  he 
had  been  taught  to  respect  it,  and  regarded  it  as  an  institu- 
tion for  the  benefit  of  mankind.  He  said  he  had  been  very 
much  influenced  by  his  wife, — he  saw  how  she  bore  calamity. 
His  heart  is  filled  with  sympathy  and  kindness,  and  mine 
with  emotions  I  do  not  know  how  to  express. 

" came  to  see  me,  and,  as  ever,  his  visit  was  a  com- 
fort and  a  blessing.  0  my  Saviour,  my  best  and  ever-present 
Friend,  Thou  art  '  Chief  among  ten  thousand,  and  altogether 
lovely.'  " 

Notes. 

"Mr.  Clay  came  on  Tuesday,  at  12  o'clock.  He  made 
many  inquiries  respecting  Susan's  health,  and  spoke  of  his 
little  grand-daughter,  who  is  also  afilicted.  Upon  Susan's 
alluding  to  his  remarks  respecting  the  Sabbath,  he  observed 
that  before  he  had  the  higher  motives  he  now  had,  he  re- 
spected the  Sabbath.  He  had  always  respected  religion,  and 
its  disciples,  whatever  his  enemies  had  said  of  him.  He  was 
repeatedly  afiected  to  tears.  Susan  told  him  she  had  fol- 
lowed him  in  all  his  journeyings,  and  into  his  retirement,  and 
had  prayed  that  God  would  be  with  him.     He  spoke  of  the 


1847.]  TO    HENRY    CLAY.  389 

influence  liis  wife  had  exerted  over  him.  Susan  said  that 
they  were  most  happy  who  dwelt  under  the  shadow  of  the 
Cross,  and  rested  securely  there. 

"  He  appeared  unwilling  to  leave,  and  said  with  emotion, 
'  I  am  glad  to  see  you  so  cheerful,  so  resigned,  so  happy.' 
She  gave  him,  before  his  departure,  Archbishop  Leighton's 
Works. 

"  Thursday,  March  2d.  —  At  our  prayer-meeting.  Sue 
offered  a  heart-felt  petition  for  Mr.  Clay. 

"  She  spoke  with  interest  of  the  Psalm,  '  My  heart  is  in- 
diting a  good  matter.'  When  unfavorable  symptoms  appeared 
this  evening,  she  spoke  very  cheerfully  about  it,  and  no  doubt 
I  was  more  disappointed  than  she. 

"  She  has  traced,  in  the  little  '  Daily  Manna'  her  beloved 
Mrs.  E.  gave  her,  the  quotations,  'Pain,  loss,  solitude, — 
what  are  they?  —  the  loay  home.'  '  There  is  no  extremity 
of  guilt  or  misery  that  can  come  up  to  Christ's  uttermost.' — 
Romaine.  '  Not  only  the  worst  of  my  sins,  but  the  best  of 
my  duties,  bespeak  me  a  child  of  Adam.' — Bishop  Beveridge. 
'Love  will  stammer,  rather  than  bo  dumb.' — Leighton. 

"  Speaking  this  evening,  of  elasticity  of  spirit,  she  alluded 
to  her  spiritual  comfort — that  the  Everlasting  Arms  kept  her 
above  the  waters.  She  said  that  whatever  natural  power  of 
endurance  she  had,  would  have  been  exhausted  long  ago." 

To  Hon.   Henri/  Clay. 

"A  letter  for  you  is  in  my  heart,  beloved  and  respected  sir;  and 
I  have  asked  for  a  pencil,  that  I  may  express  the  thoughts  which 
my  sister's  pen  must  convey  to  you  in  more  legible  characters  than 
my  physical  debility  will  allow  me  to  trace. 

"  I  wish  to  thank  j'ou  for  the  visit  you  so  kindly  made  to  an  in- 
valid, who  could  not  mingle  with  the  crowd  around  you  to  welcome 
her  country's  friend.  And  when  I  tell  you  that  our  interview,  brief 
as  it  wus,  has  kindled  into  stronger  and  deeper  feeling  the  affection 
I  have  cherished  so  many  years,  I  would  not  that  you  should  sus- 
pect for  a  moment  that  I  employ  the  language  of  adulation,  so  dis- 
tasteful to  the  refined  mind,  so  painful  to  the  heart  of  the  Christian 


390  TO    HENRY    CLAY.  [1847, 

who  has  listened  to  the  'still  small  voice'  of  the  blessed  Spirit,  and 
thus  been  taught  that  he  is  sinful  and  helpless,  and  has  learned  to 
say,  '  God  forbid  that  I  should  glory  save  in  the  Cross  of  our  Lord 
Jesus  Christ.'         ■   . 

"Although  the  irrepressible  aflfection  of  your  many  friends  swells 
into  a  louder  chorus  than  you  love  to  hear,  exhausts  your  strength, 
and  causes  you  to  sigh  for  solitude,  you  gratefully  appreciate  the 
offering  you  have  not  sought,  and  number  it,  I  trust,  among  the 
talents  you  desire  to  consecrate  to  the  glory  of  your  Father  in 
Heaven. 

"  It  is,  indeed,  a  solemn  thought  that  our  responsibility  is  so 
greatly  increased  by  the  influence  which  is  possessed  over  the  minds 
of  others.  The  words  of  a  great  man  become  aphorisms,  the  scenes 
he  enters  are  sanctioned  by  his  presence,  and  almost  his  thoughts 
are  appropriated  by  those  who  surround  him. 

"  I  am  not  surprised  that  the  tranquillity  of  the  husbandman 
appears  to  you  more  desirable  than  a  life  of  such  incessant  excite- 
ment ;  but  you,  dear  sir,  are  sowing  seed  in  the  political  and  moral 
world,  which  will  bear  nutritious  fruit.  Oh  !  that  yours  may  ever 
be  the  fulfilment  of  the  promise,  '  Thine  ears  shall  hear  a  word  be- 
hind thee,  saying,  This  is  the  way,  walk  ye  in  it,  when  ye  turn  to 
the  right  hand,  and  when  ye  turn  to  the  left.' 

"  Oh  !  that  the  Heavenly  Physician  may  heal  the  wounds  which 
the  severance  of  cherished  ties  has  inflicted  upon  a  heart  so  sensitive 
as  yours !  One  who  has  shed  the  orphan's  tear  is  well  prepared  to 
sympathize  with  a  bereaved  parent.  In  one  instance,  the  branch 
has  been  broken  from  the  tree  which  gave  it  nourishment,  and  pain- 
fully it  realized  the  absence  of  the  green  and  vigorous  shoot;  in  the 
other,  the  parent  stem  is  removed,  and  its  offspring  would  surely 
wither  if  it  were  not  transplanted  into  the  garden  of  the  Lord,  and 
united  to  the  true  and  living  Vine. 

"I  feel,  dear  Mr.  Clay,  that  I  could  love  you  with  almost  filial 
affection  ;  but  I  should  not,  therefore,  weary  you  by  an  effusion  of 
tedious  length. 

"  I  do  not  know  that  uninspired  history  has  recorded  a  character, 
whose  life  and  writings  have  been  rendered  more  luminous  by  tlie 
Sun  of  Righteousness  than  my  favorite  author.  Archbishop  Leighton. 
His  theoloiry  is  so  much  more  simple  and  concentrated  than  the  dif- 
fusive writings  of  the  present  day,  that  if  he  be  not  already  a  familiar 
friend,  I  think  you  will  sometimes  feel  disposed  to  admit  the  volume 
you  will  so  much  gratify  me  by  accepting,  to  the  companionship  of 
your  private  hours. 


1847.]  TO    HENRY    CLAY.  391 

''Your  little  grand-daugbter  has  often  been  the  subject  of  my 
thoughts  since  you  spoke  of  her  so  affectionately.  Will  you  tell  the 
dear  child  I  am  assured  that  Jesus  loves  her  as  well  as  the  little  ones 
whom  He  took  in  His  arms,  and  like  the  little  sufferer,  whose  life  I 
send  her,  she  must  tell  Him  when  she  is  in  pain,  and  ask  Him  to 
comfort  her. 

"  Your  visit  will  be  one  of  my  pleasant  recollections,  and  frequent 
and  earnest  supplications  that  you  may  be  'satisfied  with  favor,  and 
filled  with  the  blessing  of  the  Lord/  will  ascend  from  the  heart  of 
her  who  is,  dear  sir,  with  high  regard,  most  respectfully  yours." 

From  Mr.  Clay  to  Miss  Allihone. 

"  With  perfect  truth  and  candor  I  say,  that  I  have  rarely,  if  ever, 
made  a  visit  to  any  individual  in  my  life,  that  afforded  me  higher 
satisfaction  than  that  which  I  derived  from  seeing  you.  Your  physi- 
cal misfortunes,  your  resignation  to  the  will  of  our  Maker,  your  gen- 
,  tie  and  intelligent  countenance,  and  your  interesting  conversation, 
all  combined  to  give  to  the  short  interview  I  had  with  you  a  thrilling 
interest.  I  have  oftentimes  thought  of  it,  and  have  frequently  de- 
scribed the  touching  scene  to  my  friends.     *     *     * 

"  Believed  as  I  am  from  the  cares,  the  trouble,  and  the  respon- 
sibility of  public  life,  I  hope  to  profit  by  retirement  in  making  those 
preparations  for  another  and  better  world,  which  are  enjoined  upon 
us  by  our  highest  and  eternal  interests.  In  these,  your  example  of 
perfect  submission  and  complete  obedience  will  be  constantly  remem- 
bered by  me  with  great  benefit  and  advantage. 

"  Accept  for  yourself  my  prayer,  that  He  who  has  enabled  you  so 
calmly  and  cheerfully  to  bear  up  under  the  heavy  privations  you 
suffer,  may  continue  His  watchful  care  over  you  to  the  end,  and  thai 
we  may  both  hereafter  meet  in  the  regions  of  eternal  bliss. 

"  I  am  truly  and  faithfully  your  friend  and  obedient  servant, 

"  H.  Clay." 

To  Hon.  Henry  Clay. 

"  Nov.  3,  1848. 
"  I  denied  myself  the  gratification  of  giving  an  immediate  reply 
to  your  kind  and  most  welcome  letter,  respected  sir,  because  I  was 
aware  that  the  communications  of  your  numerous  friends  present  an 
almost  incessant  demand  upon  your  attention ;  but  I  did  not  design 
to  be  so  very  considerate  as  to  have  allowed  more  than  three  months 
to  pass  away,  unaccompanied  by  an  assurance  of  my  warm  affection. 


392  TO     HENRY     CLAY.  [1847. 

"The  debility  wliicli  often  renders  me  unahlo  to  use  a  mechanical 
medium  for  the  conveyance  of  thoujrht,  does  not  deprive  me  of  the 
consolation  of  expressing  my  rej^ard  for  those  I  love,  by  imploring 
for  them  '  the  blessing  of  the  Lord  which  maketh  rich,  and  addeth 
no  sorrow  with  it ;'  and  for  you,  dear  sir,  very  frequent  and  earnest 
prayers  have  come  into  my  heart.  I  do  hope  that  God  will  grant 
you  a  double  portion  of  His  Spirit.  I  should  not  feel  satisfied  if  any 
ordinary  measures  of  contrition,  faith,  love  and  holy  obedience  were 
yours.  We  are  commanded  to  '  covet  the  best  gifts ;'  and  it  is  not 
presumptuous  to  expect  much  from  God,  if  the  merits  of  our  Re- 
deemer be  our  only  plea.  Nor  would  I  forget  to  thank  Him  for  the 
spiritual  illumination  He  has  granted  you,  nor  for  the  desire  you 
express  to  consecrate  the  retirement  you  are  at  last  permitted  to 
enjoy,  to  the  interests  of  'another  and  a  better  world.' 

"  It  is,  indeed,  a  better  world,  dear  Mr.  Clay.  How  delightful 
will  it  be  to  be  released  for  ever  from  '  every  day's  report  of  wrong 
and  outrage,  with  which  earth  is  filled.'  What  blessedness  to  wor- 
ship God  without  the  intrusion  of  one  emotion  opposed  to  the  holi- 
ness of  His  law,  or  a  single  wandering  thought,  and  to  satisfy  the 
longings  of  the  Spirit  after  knowledge,  excellence  and  love  by  the 
contemplation  of  them  all !  To  receive  all  this  happiness  is  the  free 
gift  of  a  Saviour's  love,  and  to  attune  a  harp  of  thanksgiving  with 
Heaven-taught  melody,  ever  swelling  louder  and  clearer  notes  of 
adoration  as  the  past  and  present  become  more  fully  understood,  and 
the  future  hastens  on  with  brightening  glory,  —  oh  !  this  will  be  to 
us  a  better  world  ! 

"  It  has  often  occurred  to  me  that  whilst  the  believer  rejoices  that 
'to  die  is  gain,'  he  ought  also  to  remember  that  '  to  live  is  Christ.' 
I  wish  to  understand  the  full  meaning  of  this  expression.  Experience 
has  taught  me  something  of  its  import,  but  I  hope  to  learn  new  les- 
sons every  day.  One  of  our  Homilies  tells  us  '  Faith  is  the  hand 
that  puts  on  Christ j'  and  St.  Paul  assures  us,  'Of  Him  are  ye  in 
Christ  Jesus,  who  of  God  is  made  unto  us  wisdom,  and  righteous- 
ness, and  sanctification,  and  redemption.' 

"  How  can  I,  who  am  so  sinful  and  so  suffering,  be  sufficiently 
thankful  that  this  glorious  Redeemer  is  the  portion  of  my  soul ! 
Mine  has  been  a  situation  of  extraordinary  necessity,  and  the  fulness 
of  Jesus  has  been  its  supply.  When  my  earthly  friends  sit  down  and 
weep,  because  their  unwearied  attentions  cannot  remove  the  firm 
pressure  of  disease,  my  Saviour  draws  me  still  more  closely  into  the 
Sanctuary  of  His  presence,  and  my  wearied  spirit  reposes  in  peace. 


1847.]  TO     HENRY    CLAY.  393 

^'  But  there  is  an  amputation  of  the  heart,  caused  by  the  removal 
of  the  most  cherished  objects  of  aifection,  which  requires  the  still 
more  tender  offices  of  Him  who  'came  to  give  the  oil  of  joy  for 
mourning,  and  the  garment  of  praise  for  the  spirit  of  heaviness;' 
and  in  this  sorrow,  also,  I  have  been  greatly  comforted.  If  I  had 
never  known  bereavement,  I  could  net  so  fully  sympathize  with  the 
deep  afflictions  to  which  your  letter  alludes.  I  am  well  assured  that 
your  susceptibilities  of  suffering  are  unusually  acute;  and  I  pray 
that  the  consolations  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  and  the  sanctified  uses  of 
adversity  may  be  given  you  in  proportionate  measure.  It  may  be 
also  that  the  dispensations  which  have  caused  so  painful  a  void  in 
your  family  circle,  may  be  the  avenues  through  which  many  heavenly 
blessings  may  be  conveyed  to  its  surviving  members.  It  may  be 
your  delightfnl  privilege  to  teach  them  to  consecrate  the  energy  they 
have  inherited  from  their  earthly  parent  to  the  glory  of  their  Father 
in  Heaven  :  and  whilst  I  condole  with  my  country,  because  she  will 
be  deprived  of  your  official  services  at  ^  time  when  they  seem  so 
greatly  needed,  I  do  indeed  most  heartily  congratulate  your  children 
and  grand-children,  that  they  are  permitted  to  surround  you  in  the 
evening  of  your  days. 

"  Permit  me  to  say  that  I  do  not  think  you  suit  the  times,  dear 
sir.  Expediency  has  become  the  watchword  of  our  nation  ;  and  your 
political  vestments  have  never  assumed  a  chameleon  hue,  nor  has  the 
cloak  of  concealment  been  wrapped  around  them.  Oh  !  that  we  had 
many  Daniels  to  confess  that  '  we  and  our  fathers  have  sinned,  and 
done  wickedly,  and  to  implore  that  national  judgments  may  be 
averted. 

"  The  beautiful  petition  of  the  Lord's  Prayer,  '  Thy  kingdom 
come ;  Thy  will  be  done  on  earth,  as  it  is  in  Heaven,'  is  most  appro- 
priate  at  this  time  of  danger ;  and  how  efiectually  will  its  fulfilment 
hush  into  silence  the  stormy  elements  around  us  !  Is  it  not  an  un- 
speakable privilege  to  be  the  subject  of  'a  kingdom  which  cannot  be 
moved'  ?  I  am  truly  gratified  to  learn  that  the  health  of  your  little 
grand-daughter  has  so  greatly  improved,  for  I  feel  a  deep  interest  in 
all  to  whom  you  are  allied.  I  shall  not  soon  forget  the  terms  of 
affection  with  which  you  made  me  acquainted  with  the  character  of 
Mrs.  Clay,  to  whom  you  will  please  present  my  respectful  regards. 

"  I  think  I  will  be  so  selfish  as  to  tell  you  how  delighted  I  should 
be  to  receive  another  letter  from  Ashland."     *     *     * 


CHAPTER  XIX. 

1848—1849. 

-A  Comforter  of  the  Sorrowing  —  Letters  of  Sympathy  to  the  Bereaved: 
to  an  afflicted  little  Boy  —  Conversation  —  Contentment  —  Letters  to 
Dr.  N. :  to  R.  S.  on  Discouragements  —  Alarm  at  Tractarian  Errors 

—  Letter  referring  thereto — Letters  of  Friendship  —  Pastoral  Visits 

—  Letter  to  one  lately  baptized  —  Importance  of  a  high  Standard  in 
Religion  —  Letters  to  the  Young. 

Miss  Allibone  Tvas,  to  a  remarkable  extent,  a  comforter  of 
the  afflicted.  Sorrow  of  any  kind  was  an  appeal  to  which 
she  invariably  responded.  She  forgot  her  own  sufierings 
in  hearing  of  and  administering  to  others'  woes,  or  only 
so  far  remembered  them  as  to  make  them  a  plea  for  attempt- 
ing to  comfort  others  with  the  consolation  wherewith  she  was 
herself  comforted  of  God.  To  those  within  the  circle  of  her 
own  extensive  connection,  and  still  wider  acquaintance,  she 
was  a  proved  and  affectionate  helper  in  the  dark  and  sorrow- 
ful day.  But  her  sympathy  was  by  no  means  limited  to  them. 
The  stricken  and  suffering  became  at  once  the  objects  of  her 
fervent  intercession  and  loving  concern.  She  longed  to  tell 
the  children  of  sorrow  of  the  unfailing  mercies  of  her  cove- 
nant God,  and  the  effectual  sympathy  of  the  great  High 
Priest  who  can  be  touched  with  the  feeling  of  our  infirmities. 
She  felt  that  the  consolations  of  her  religion  were  adequate 
to  every  emergency  of  mortal  grief.  She  had  fully  tested 
them.  From  her  own  experience  she  knew  their  value.  She 
was  perfectly  assured  that  every  mourner,  who  would  look 
where  she  looked  for  support  and  relief,  would  be  assisted 

and  blessed.     Her  expressions  of  sympathy  were  not  words 

(394) 


1848.]  LETTERS.  395 

of  course,  but  the  utterance  of  strong,  living,  acting  faith. 
She  believed,  and  therefore  she  spake.  And  the  lessons  of 
trust  and  submission  which  she  inculcated,  enforced  by  her 
own  beautiful  example,  were  clothed  with  power,  and  went 
at  once  to  the  heart.  She  spake  and  acted  as  one  who  dwelt 
in  the  secret  place  of  the  Almighty,  to  whom  the  Most  High 
was  a  Father  and  Friend,  and  to  whom  the  heavenly  Avorld 
was  a  near  and  glorious  reality.  And  therefore  she  was 
eminently  successful  in  leading  the  afflicted  to  the  Father  of 
mercies  and  the  God  of  all  comfort.  Instances  of  the  tender- 
ness, delicacy  and  fidelity,  with  which  she  approached  those 
upon  whom  rested  God's  chastening  hand,  are  given  in  the 
letters  immediately  following : 

To  a  Relative. 

"  Greenwood,  March,  1848. 

"  My  dear :    I  would  not  attempt  this  letter,  if  it  were  not 

my  privilege  to  ask  our  Father  in  Heaven  to  teach  me  what  to  say 
to  you ;  for  I  know  too  much  of  the  sacredness  of  sorrow  to  suppose 
that  ordinary  words  of  sympathy  would  be  consoling  to  one  who  has 
suffered  so  deeply  as  yourself.  I  am  not  surprised  that  you  realize 
that  your  domestic  circle  is  deprived  of  one  of  its  brightest  attrac- 
tions. It  was  not  a  mother's  eye  alone  that  could  discover  the  love- 
liness of  one  so  gentle,  so  unaffected  and  so  affectionate.  I  can  sym- 
pathize with  your  bereavement  much  more  deeply  than  I  could  have 
done  if  I  had  never  seen  you  together. 

"  Oh,  my  dear  friend,  bring  your  wounded  heart  to  .Jesus.  lie 
can  bind  it  up.  lie  can  soothe  into  '  a  great  calm'  the  storm  which 
now  swells  your  bosom.  He  will  not  reproach  you  because  you 
sought  Him  not  in  the  hour  of  prosperity :  and  if  you  will  bring  to 
Him  the  sins  of  your  whole  life,  He  will  wash  them  in  His  blood 
and  cover  you  with  a  robe  of  righteousness.  Will  you  not,  read 
with  much  prayer  the  53d  chapter  of  Isaiah,  and  see  if  He  who  was 
'a  man  of  sorrows  and  acquainted  with  grief,'  is  not  just  such  a 
Saviour  as  you  need. 

"  If  it  were  possible,  T  should  be  glad  to  hasten  to  you,  that  I 
might  tell  you  of  the  preciousness  of  this  merciful  Redeemer.  I 
should  love  to  make  one  of  your  household  band,  now  that  you  are 


396  LETTERS.  [1848. 

so  sorrowful ;  and  tlioua;h  it  would  grieve  mo  very  much  to  hear  my 
beloved use  expressions  that  would  seem  to  indicate  the  slight- 
est doubt  of  the  wisdom  and  love  of  God,  I  would  pray  for  and 
pity  her,  and  try  to  deal  gently  with  an  almost  broken  heart.     Dear 

,  do  ask  for  submission  to  His  will.     I  do  not  want  you  to 

grieve  the  Holy  Spirit.  1  would  have  you  *  humble  yourself  under 
the  mighty  hand  of  God,  that  He  may  exalt  you  in  due  time.'  You 
know  He  has  afflicted  me,  but  it  has  always  been  in  love.  Head  the 
103d  Psalm,  and  I  will  pray  that  you  may  believe  and  experience 
all  that  is  there  recorded  of  the  loving-kindness  of  the  Almighty. 
The  12th  chapter  of  Hebrews  is  full  of  instruction  and  consolation. 
In  the  14th  chapter  of  Job  we  are  assured  that  the  days  of  man 
'are  determined,  the  number  of  his  months  are  with  Thee,  Thou 
hast  appointed  his  bounds  that  he  cannot  pass.'  If  you  could  realize 
this  truth,  you  would  not  suffer  so  much  from  the  fear  that  other 
efforts  would  have  been  more  conducive  to  your  dear  child's  benefit. 
How  many  bereaved  friends  have  been  agonized  by  these  reflections  ! 
I  do  not  doubt  that  the  unwearied  efforts  of  parents,  physicians  and 
friends  were  combined  for  the  relief  of  your  darling  child,  and  it 
was  because  the  Almighty  had  ordered  otherwise  that  they  were 
unsuccessful.  Oh,  that  this  painful  lesson  may  be  one  of  deep  and 
lasting  instruction  ! 

"One  of  your  beloved  ones  has  been  called  into  the  eternal  world, 
and  earth  looks  to  you  most  desolate.  Every  surrounding  object  is 
invested  with  gloom.  You  see  mortality  written  upon  the  faces  of 
your  surviving  children.  Will  you  not  prny  that  upon  their  souls 
may  be  inscribed  'a  title  clear  to  mansions  in  the  skies'?  Will  you 
not  encircle  them  with  religious  influences  ?  Will  you  not  tell  them 
that  if  the  Redeemer  loved  theif  souls  so  well  as  to  die  that  they 
might  live  forever,  they  should  surely  hasten  together  to  the  Cross 
of  Calvary,  and  thus  secure  'a  safe  defence,  a  peaceful  home'? 

"  But,  alas  !  you  would  tell  me,  how  can  I  lead  my  children  into 
a  path  I  have  never  travelled  ?  I  cannot  expatiate  upon  love  I  have 
never  realized — upon  salvation  I  have  never  accepted.  My  friend, 
my  dear  friend,  you  must  come  to  Jesus,  and  you  nnist  come  now. 
Throw  this  letter  from  your  hand  —  prostrate  yourself  in  the  attitude 
of  devotion  —  tell  your  Father  in  Heaveu  you  have  been  sinful  and 
rebellious,  but  you  come  to  Him  in  tht  nnme  of  His  only  begotten 
Sou,  pleading  pardon  in  His  name,  trusting  in  the  merits  of  His 
blood.  Tell  Him  you  give  your  heart  to  Him;  you  know  it  is  an 
unworthy  offering ;  it  is  all  full  of  sin  and  sorrow,  but  you  are  *  heavy 


1849.]  LETTERS.  397 

laden/  and  in  Ilis  word  He  has  said,  'Come  uLto  me  and  I  will  give 
you  rest.' 

"  Oh,  the  joyful  results  of  this  acceptance  of  the  offers  of  salva- 
tion !  Oh,  the  blessed  peace  which  will  flow  into  your  bosom,  com- 
bined with  regret  that  you  have  not  long  since  tasted  the  power  of 
religion  ;  with  filial  contrition  that  you  have  not  always  loved  a  Being 
BO  ready  to  pardon  and  bless.  My  heart  warms  with  the  hope  that 
you  will  at  once  cast  yourself  upon  the  mercy  of  God  in  Christ,  and 
that  from  your  family  circle  will  again  and  again  ascend  intelligence 
which  will  give  joy  to  the  angelic  host. 

''  Give  my  love  to  them  all,  and  remind  them  of  the  injunction, 
'Be  ye  also  ready.'  Tell  them  the  love  of  Christ  is  the  only  source 
of  true  happiness.  It  has  cheered  my  heart  through  many  years 
of  suffering." 

To  an  Afflicted  Little  Boy,  son  of  Rev.  J.  A.  ClarJc. 

"Jan.  1849. 

"  What  a  beautiful  promise  that  is :  '  He  shall  feed  His  flock  like 
a  shepherd.  He  shall  gather  the  lambs  in  His  arms  and  carry  them 
in  His  bosom.'  Would  you  not  love  to  belong  to  the  fold  of  this 
Good  Shepherd  ?  Perhaps  you  do  follow  Him  ;  I  hope  so,  indeed. 
I  should  be  glad  for  you,  my  poor  wearied  boy,  to  have  the  bosom 
of  Jesus  for  your  resting-place.  There  will  be  no  pain  there.  Even 
now  I  am  sure  He  is  looking  very  tenderly  upon  you.  It  requires 
much  grace  to  be  very  considerate  of  the  comfort  of  others,  and  to 
avoid  speaking  quickly  when  we  are  in  great  suffering  and  feel  ner- 
vous, but  not  more  than  God  is  able  to  give  us.  '  Looking  unto 
Jesus'  must  be  our  motto.  We  have  your  dear  father's  example, 
also,  for  He  was  very  patient,  and  thought  more  of  the  welfare  of 
others  than  his  own  comfort.  Oh  !  W.,  I  cannot  tell  you  how  well 
I  loved  him,  and  how  much  I  miss  his  counsels ;  but  they  are  written 
on  my  heart,  and  I  must  try  to  practise  them. 

*  *  *  ''  I  am  not  even  able  to  read  much  in  the  Bible.  I 
hope  you  love  this  blessed  book  as  much  as  little  Nathan  Dickermaa 
did. 

"  That  the  Father  of  the  fatherless  may  bless  and  protect  my  dear 
W.,  prays  your  very  affectionate  friend,  S.  A." 

To  a  Friend. 

"  It  occurred  to  me  during  the  illness  of  your  departed  wife,  dear 
sir,  that  I  should  have  much  loved  to  have  spoken  to  her  of  Him 

34 


398  LETTEES.  [1849. 

who  is  '  touched  with  a  feeling  of  our  infirmities ;'  but  the  chamber 
of  sickness  has  long  been  my  abiding-place,  and  here  my  thoughts 
often  visited  your  house  of  mourning,  and  my  heart  ascended  in 
prayer  that  spiritual  blessings  may  rest  upon  the  bereaved  ones. 

*  *  *  "Whilst  1  listened  to  the  precious  truths  of  God's 
word,  so  faithfully  proclaimed  by  his  departed  servant,  I  desired 
that  your  family  too  should  receive  Jesus  in  their  hearts,  and  enjoy 
the  faith  which  sustained  my  spirit.  More  than  seven  years  have 
passed  since  then.  The  pastor  who  spoke  to  us  of  a  Saviour's 
love  dwells  with  Him  in  a  world  of  glory.  Night  and  day  have 
pain  and  debility  been  my  portion.  I  listen  no  longer  to  my  mother's 
voice,  for  God  has  taken  her  to  heaven ;  and  therefore,  dear  sir,  my 
heart  yearns  over  your  children,  and  I  pity  them.  But  my  sufferings 
have  not  equalled  the  consolation  I  have  received ;  their  pressure 
rests  not  upon  me,  for  'underneath  are  the  everlasting  arms.'  God 
can  wipe  away  even  the  orphan's  tear.  He  has  said,  '  Even  as  a 
mother  comforteth  will  I  comfort  you.'  Oh,  that  the  sorrowing 
ones  around  you  may  hear  the  voice  of  His  spirit,  jind  that  you, 
their  only  parent,  may  gather  with  them  around  the  mercy-seat,  and 
ask  God  to  be  your  guide  and  comforter.  And  where  else  can  you 
bear  your  fainting  spirit  ?  Not  to  the  scenes  of  worldly  pleasure,  for 
the  sounds  of  mirth  would  fall  heavily  upon  your  ear.  Come,  then, 
to  Him  who  wounds  to  heal,  who  kindly  reminds  you  that  this  is  not 
your  rest,  that  you  may  seek  preparation  for  that  rest  which  '  remain- 
eth  for  the  people  of  God.'  Oh  I  may  we  never  forget  that  they  only 
shall  enjoy  it,  for  'except  a  man  be  born  again  he  cannot  see  the 
kingdom  of  God.' 

"  With  respectful  and  prayerful  earnestness  I  would  urge  you, 
dear  sir,  to  implore  the  Holy  Spirit  to  cause  you  to  feel  what  your 
understanding  must  acknowledge,  to  fill  you  with  that  *  godly  sor- 
row which  worketh  repentance  not  to  be  repented  of.'  Do  not  sus- 
pect me  of  harshness.  An  apostle  has  said,  '  Knowing  the  terror  of 
the  Lord  we  persuade  men,'  and  I  would  only  remind  you  that  'we 
must  all  appear  before  the  judgment-scat  of  Christ,'  —  that  I  may 
point  to  my  Saviour's  cross  and  say,  'Behold  the  Lamb  of  God 
which  taketh  away  the  sins  of  the  world.'  And  upon  this  subject 
I  most  love  to  dwell,  for  I  feel  more  and  more  the  all-sufficiency  of 
our  Hedeemer.  Come  to  Him  with  your  sins  —  come  to  Him  with 
your  sorrows ;  for  it  is  His  promise,  '  I  will  give  you  rest.'  Then 
shall  'the  Sun  of  Righteousness  arise  with  healing  in  His  wings.' 
He  will  shine  upon  your  desoiate  dwelling  and  your  saddened  heart. 


1849.]  LETTERS.  399 

"  You  will  receive  this  expression  of  Christian  interest  from  one 
whose  peculiar  situation  renders  it  less  needful  that  she  should 
regard  the  ordinary  rules  of  etiquette.  How  much  I  should  love  to 
tell  your  children  how  much  I  sympathize  with  them  \" 

To  a  Friend. 

"  February,  1849. 

"The  Father  of  mercies  and  God  of  all  grace  is  with  you,  my  own 

dear ,  teaching  you  to  breathe  the  notes  of  submission  to  His 

Holy  will.  I  am  thankful  for  this,  for  it  pains  me  much  to  listen  to 
the  discordant  tones  of  repining  and  rebellion  which  too  often  go 
forth  from  the  harp  of  sorrow.  My  Heavenly  Father  administers 
the  discipline  I  require  with  so  gentle  a  hand,  and  so  many  smiles 
of  love,  that  I  more  deeply  realize  the  injustice  and  presumption  of 
any  reflection  upon  His  wisdom  and  mercy. 

"  And  yet  while  He  requires  the  submission  of  the  Christian,  He 
does  not  demand  the  stoic's  insensibility  to  suffering.  He  has  formed 
us  with  sympathies  so  tender,  with  hearts  so  clinging,  that  we  are 
greatly  wounded  when  our  loved  ones  are  removed.  If  it  were  not 
thus,  we  should  not  need  the  Balm  of  Gilead  to  bind  up  the  lacerated 
nerves  and  fibres  of  our  affections. 

"Dear ,  I  understand  the  mysterious  union  between  a  mother 

and  her  child.  Although  I  have  suffered  in  one  relation,  and  you 
in  the  other,  I  appreciate  the  strength  of  the  tie,  which  I  bless  God 
is  in  our  case  only  lengthened,  not  broken.  The  part  we  cannot  see 
is  in  Heaven,  and  thanksgivings  mingle  with  our  tears.  And  then, 
there  is  another  reason  why  I  feel  for  you  so  much.  I  am  very  fond 
of  children.  They  are  the  little  flowers  of  society,  which  gladden 
our  hearts  as  we  pass  along  the  dusty  paths  of  life.  A  very  lovely 
one  was  placed  in  your  bosom,  and,  as  you  remark,  it  has  been  trans- 
planted to  the  garden  of  the  Saviour.  There  is  no  hot  sun  to  scorch 
it  there,  no  wind  to  scatter  its  blossoms,  but  it  will  bloom  in  fadeless 
beauty.  When  you  see  it  again,  as  I  trust  will  be  you  privilege,  for 
our  Redeemer's  sake,  you  will  be  glad  that  you  did  not  refuse  to 
resign  your  little  plant  in  all  its  budding  loveliness.  I  trust  its  place 
will  be  supplied  by  many  blessed  fruits  of  the  Spirit,  engrafted  upon 
this  lesson  of  sorrow.  It  would  be  sad,  indeed,  if  our  trials  were 
unmingled  with  benefit.  Shall  we  not  ask  Him  who  has  '  chastened 
us  for  our  profit,  that  we  might  be  partakers  of  His  holiness,'  to  give 
us  a  lowly,  teachable  spirit,  to  reveal  to  us  the  exceeding  sinfulness 
of  our  nature,  and  all  the  requirements  of  His  law;  and  to  enable 
us,  in  the  full  view  of  both,  to  rejoice  with  joy  unspeakable  and  full 


400  LETTERS.  [1849. 

of  glory,  in  Tlim  wbo  came  to  atone  for  our  transgressions,  and  to 
fulfil  the  perfect  obedience  we  cannot  give. 

"  We  find  imperfection  written  upon  the  most  elevated  of  our  race, 
but  here  is  a  Friend  in  whom  '  mercy  and  truth  are  met  together, 
righteousness  and  peace  have  kissed  each  other;'  One  who  is  'holy, 
harmless,  undefiled  and  separate  from  sinners.'  If  you  would  know 
more  of  this  blessed  Saviour,  read  the  53d  chapter  of  Isaiah,  with 
fervent  supplication  that  the  Holy  Spirit  will  take  of  the  things  of 
Jesus,  and  show  them  unto  you.  You  may  have  often  done  this, 
but  now  that  you  are  smitten,  you  will  be  more  thankful  than  ever 
that  our  Saviour  was  '  a  man  of  sorrows,  and  acquainted  with  grief.' 
The  Epistle  to  the  Hebrews  has  been  very  consoling  to  me.  It 
dwells  with  so  much  emphasis  and  beauty  upon  the  sympathy  of  our 
Redeemer.  How  wonderful,  how  mysterious  is  the  connection  be- 
tween His  Divine  and  human  nature!  He  is  indeed  'Wonderful, 
Counsellor,  the  Mighty  God,  the  Everlasting  Father,  the  Prince  of 
Peace.' 

"  Do  you  remember  a  little  book  entitled  'Perfect  Peace,'  by  the 
Kev.  Mr.  Pitcairn  ?  It  enforces  this  subject  with  unusual  clearness. 
How  glad  I  should  be  to  have  you  read  to  me  a  work  in  which  I  am 
deeply  interested,  *  Charnock  on  the  Divine  Attributes.'  How  much 
more  enjoyment  is  derived  from  books  of  spiritual  instruction,  than 
from  those  volumes  which  are  only  designed  to  amuse  f     *     *     * 

"You  ask  me  to  give  you  information  of  my  health.  I  have  been 
less  subject  to  attacks  of  prostration  this  winter,  and  less  aflFected  by 
changes  of  weather,  but  I  have  become  more  thin  and  pale,  and  am 
reminded  that  my  pilgrimage  may  soon  terminate.  The  trust  I  feel 
that  I  am  'accepted  in  the  Beloved,'  gives  pleasure  to  this  antici- 
pation.    *     *     * 

"  I  heard  of  a  sad  death  a  few  weeks  since.  A  young  lady,  who 
had  often  been  seriously  impressed,  told  one  of  her  friends  that  she 
had  resolved  to  banish  these  reflections.  Pier  efforts  were  successful. 
A  very  short  time  after,  she  became  dangerously  ill,  and  when  ac- 
quainted with  her  situation,  was  very  desirous  to  be  again  visited  by 
the  strivings  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  but  they  came  not  at  her  bidding. 
She  requested  that  the  last  dress  she  would  require  should  be  made 
in  her  presence,  but  when  she  was  obeyed,  she  shook  her  head,  and 
said,  '  I  cannot  feel.'  She  then  begged  her  mother  to  have  her  coflSn 
made,  and  brought  into  her  room.  Her  desire  was  most  reluctantly 
granted,  but  the  poor  girl  exclaimed,  'The  Spirit  has  fled;  I  am 
lost !'  and  after  an  illness  of  ten  days,  she  entered  eternity  uncon- 
eoled. 


1849.]  LETTERS.  401 

''  The  circumstances  occurred  this  winter,  and  were  related  to 
one  of  our  friends. 

"  Tell  your  father  and  mother  that  they  are  affectionately  remem- 
bered.    I  desire  for  them  and  Mr. all  the  blessings  which  are 

the  result  of  an  entire  consecration  of  the  heart  to  God. 

"  Write  to  me  soon,  dear ,  and  always  believe  that  I  am  very 

aflfectionately,  your  friend." 

To  a  Friend,  on  the  Death  of  his  Wife. 

"Hamilton,  July  3,  1849. 

"'Is  there  no  balm  in  Gilead,  is  there  no  Physician  there?'  It 
is  to  give  an  affirmative  reply  to  this  question,  which,  I  trust,  your 
wounded  heart  is  asking,  that  I  attempt  a  letter  to  the  stricken  friend 
who  is  so  often  the  subject  of  my  earnest  prayers. 

"  I  will  not  tell  you  how  many  tears  I  have  shod,  how  much  sym- 
pathy I  have  felt,  but  will  point  you,  dear  sir,  to  Him  who  for  your 
sake  and  mine  became  a  i\Ian  of  Sorrows,  and  acquainted  with  grief 
— that  Saviour  who  is  looking  upon  you,  in  your  agony  of  spirit,  with 
more  tenderness  and  compassion  than  ever  beamed  from  your  dear 
mother's  eye,  and  is  waiting  to  speak  pardon  and  peace  to  your  soul. 

"  Oh,  come  at  once  to  this  blessed  Redeemer,  and  your  experience 
will  prove  that  '  He  healeth  the  broken  in  heart,  and  bindeth  up 
their  wounds.'  Siudy  His  character  in  the  Volume  which  unfolds 
His  love, — pra}^  earnestly  that  the  Holy  Spirit  may  reveal  to  you 
His  offices  of  Prophet,  Priest  and  Kiag.  It  may  be  that  He  is 
already  teaching  you  these  lessons.  It  may  be  that  you  are  mourn- 
ing, not  for  sorrow  only,  but  for  sin,  and  are  lifting  up  the  eye  of 
faith  to  behold,  not  a  compassionate  Friend  alone,  but  the  Lamb  of 
God,  which  taketh  away  the  sins  of  the  world.  If  this  be  so,  the 
peace  which  passeth  understanding  will  be  your  portion.  If  this  be 
so,  there  will  be  joy  in  heaven.  The  Father,  the  Son  and  the  Holy 
Spirit  will  admit  you  to  His  holy  fellowship,  and  you  will  be  no 
longer  desolate.  Oh,  how  I  should  rejoice  in  this  intelligence  !  Will 
you  not  write  to  me  very  soon,  and  give  me  it?  Will  you  not  pray 
for  a  realization  of  the  holiness  of  Jehovah, — the  righteousness  of 
His  law, — your  inability  to  meet  its  requisitions, —  your  manifold 
transgressions  against  it,  —  an  appropriating  knowledge  of  Him  in 
whom  '  mercy  and  truth  are  met  together,  righteousness  and  peace 
have  kissed  each  other.' 

"  I  desire  for  you  happiness  which  will  endure  throughout  eter- 
nity, and  for  my  Iledeemer  the  service  of  your  future  life,     x  know 
2  A  34* 


402  LETTERS.  [1849. 

that  you  have  not  waited  till  this  hour  to  add  to  your  professional 
services  gentle  words,  and  offices  of  kindness,  but  with  how  much 
more  interest  than  ever  will  you  mark  the  pulsations  of  the  dying 
sufferer,  and  the  grief  of  those  who  live  ! 

"  I  trust  the  blessing  of  the  Most  High  upon  this  agonizing  be- 
reavement will  be  your  preparation  for  many  a  blessed  visit  to  the 
couch  of  pain  and  the  house  of  mourning.  Your  voice  may  falter 
when  you  tell  your  patient  that  all  your  efforts  for  his  cure  are  un- 
availing, but  it  will  grow  stronger,  if,  with  all  the  clearness  of  an 
experimental  acquaintance,  3'ou  can  direct  his  attention  to  the  Great 
Physician  of  the  soul.  And  whilst  you  weep  with  his  surviving 
friends,  will  you  not  be  glad  to  tell  them  of  the  consolation  you  have 
found  in  the  hour  of  sorrow? 

''  Oh,  my  dear  friend,  when  I  contrast  your  present  situation  with 
the  high  hopes  which  filled  your  bosom  when  we  parted,  I  have  to 
wipe  away  the  tears  which  come  and  come  again.  This  is  a  painful 
lesson  for  a  warm  young  heart.  Do  you  think  me  cruel,  because  I 
desire  for  you  a  two-fold  grief,  even  godly  sorrow,  added  to  that  you 
already  feel  ?  I  know  you  will  echo  my  aspiration.  I  believe  you 
will  ask  God  to  give  you  a  broken  and  a  contrite  heart. 

"  If  you  urge  this  plea  in  the  name  of  Jesus,  '  the  oil  of  joy  for 
mourning,  and  the  garment  of  praise  for  the  spirit  of  heaviness,'  will 
soon  be  given  you.  God  loves  to  bless  us.  I  have,  again  and  again, 
been  strongly  impelled  to  write  to  you,  but  have  doubted  my  ability 
for  the  effort.  "When,  however,  we  learned  from  Mrs.  F.  that  she 
felt  unable  to  answer  your  letter,  I  resolved  that  I  would  attempt 
an  expression  of  my  sympathy.     *     *     * 

*'  It  must  have  been  a  consolation  to  you  to  be  with  her  in  her 
departing  hour.  Among  the  tears  that  are  shed,  there  are  none 
like  yours,  dear  sir;  but  'there  is  balm  in  Gilead,  there  is  a  Phy- 
sician there.' 

"  Assure  dear  M.  that  she  has  my  prayerful  sympathy.  Will  she 
not  seek  refuge  within  the  Rock  of  Ages,  in  this  hour  of  sorrow  ? 
She  must  kiss  sweet  little  S.  for  me,  and  tell  her  I  hope  she  will  not 
forget  that  Jesus  is  the  Friend  of  little  children.     *     *     * 

"  I  have  been  only  able  to  trace  my  letter  with  a  pencil,  and  will 
employ  sister's  pen  to  copy  it.  I  feel  that  the  peculiar  circumstances 
of  our  acquaintance  justify  an  unreserved  expression  of  my  interest 
in  your  eternal  welfare." 


1849.]  LETTERS.  40o 

To  Mrs.   Chirk. 

"  Jesus  has  gathered  another  Lamb  to  His  bosom,  and  you  are 
glad  that  it  is  safely  sheltered  there.  But  it  was  your  precious  child, 
your  ooly  daughter,  and  you  would  have  loved  to  have  cherished  her 
a  little  longer,  for  your  heart  is  sad  and  weary,  and  you  know  not 
how  to  part  with  another  loved  one  now.  I  wish  I  could  say  some- 
thing to  comfort  you.  I  would  not  presume  to  attempt  to  do  so, 
without  an  earnest  prayer  for  the  teaching  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  and 
perhaps  He  will  enable  me  to  remind  you  of  some  precious  promise 
of  God's  "Word.  Shall  I  speak  of  one  already  fulfilled  in  your  expe- 
rience ?  '  He  maketh  sore  and  bindeth  up.  He  woundeth,  and  His 
hands  make  whole.  He  shall  deliver  thee  in  six  troubles;  yea,  in 
seven  there  shall  no  evil  touch  thee.'  Your  afflictions  have  extended 
even  beyond  the  limits  of  this  gracious  assurance,  but  here  is  one  as 
unbounded  as  eternity,   '  I  will  never  leave  thee,  nor  forsake  thee.' 

"  You  have  indeed  been  chosen  in  the  furnace  of  affliction,  dear 
Mrs.  C.,  but  it  is  a  mercy  to  be  chosen  even  there.  Our  merciful 
Father  only  designs  thy  dross  to  consume,  and  thy  gold  to  refine. 
Surely  He  will  not  now  withdraw  the  grace  which  has  so  long  ena- 
bled you  to  glorify  Him  in  the  fires.  I  have  often  felt  glad  that  T 
could  tell  those  who  have  spoken  with  sympathy  of  your  successive 
bereavements,  that  you  were  wonderfully  sustained,  and  your  testi- 
mony now  to  the  faithfulness  of  God  will  be  most  valuable. 

"  Perhaps  it  will  be  the  last  you  will  be  required  to  bear.  You 
have  shed  many  tears,  and  it  may  be  that  God  will,  ere  long,  wipe 
them  away,  and  then,  dear  Mrs.  C,  they  will  not  come  any  more. 
Oh  !  I  do  pity  you  so  much.  You  know  that  I  have  been  taught 
how  to  sympathize;  and  when  I  think  of  the  lesson  I  have  learned, 
I  can  but  rejoice  that  dear  little  C.  will  never  know  what  it  is  to  be 
an  orphan.  Perhaps  our  Heavenly  Father  saw  that  she  would  be 
one,  if  she  were  to  remain  upon  earth.  I  have  no  doubt  you  have 
often  pitied  the  poor  child  because  she  was  deprived,  at  so  early  an 
age,  of  her  Father's  care,  but  she  is  with  him  now,  and  what  a  joyous 
meeting  they  have  had  !  You  would  be  glad  to  have  him  here  to 
weep  with  you,  but  he  cannot  weep  noio — he  strikes  a  note  of  louder 
praise  because  his  little  one  is  with  Jesus.  And  you  would  not,  if 
you  could,  recall  your  departed  husband  from  the  courts  of  glory  t-o 
the  house  of  mourning,  for  you  know  that  God  is  with  you — that  an 
arm  of  everlasting  love  sustains  you.  I  feel,  while  I  write  to  you, 
that  yours  is  the  sympathy  of  Jesus.     '  The   Spirit  of  the  Lord  is 


404  NOTES.  [1848. 

upon  Ilim  ;'  He  was  '  sent  to  heal  the  brohen-hcarted.'     I  trust,  my 

beloved  friend,  that  this  day  is  this  Scripture  fulfilled  in  your  heart. 

"  la  the  sacred  relationship  of  sorrow,  yours  most  afiectionately." 

Notes. 

^^March,  1848. — S.  delights  so  much  in  all  that  is  cheer- 
ing. Said,  '  I  think  we  ought  to  love  the  Heavenly  Father, 
who  gives  us  such  delightful  weather.'  She  thinks  it  im- 
portant for  children  to  be  taught  to  be  kind  to  birds  and 
insects. 

"  Told  ,  who  came  in  with  her  clothes  soiled,  '  she 

would  rather  have  mud  on  her  dress  from  visiting  the  poor, 
than  a  dress  with  diamonds  to  go  to  a  ball.' 

"  \Oih, — Speaking  of  her  confidence  in  regard  to  the  fu- 
ture, she  said,  '  If  you  are  just  sure  of  your  union  with  Christ 

—  and  that  I  am  sure  of.' 

'■^Sunday. — She  had  a  visit  from  that  wayward  boy  H.  H. 
It  seems  he  has  been  very  thoughtless,  and  was  playing  last 
Monday  with  a  boy  who  went  to  school  the  following  day, 
and  was  taken  ill  and  died  on  Tuesday  night.  This  distress- 
ing event  seems  to  have  impressed  H.'s  mind,  and  he  deter- 
mined to  go  to  church.   He  said  he  was  afraid  to  play  to-day 

—  that  when  he  was  with  pious  persons,  he  felt  serious,  but 
seems  to  be  drawn  aside  by  temptation.  He  has  felt  anxious 
that  the  person  he  calls  his  mother  should  be  religious. 

"  S.  says  it  does  her  good  to  see  flourishing  Christians, 
and  contrasted  those  who  brought  a  bad  report  of  the  pro- 
mised land,  and  those  who  brought  with  them  large  clusters 
of  grapes. 

'■'■March  20th. — Speaking  of  the  Communion  to-night,  she 
said  it  was  one  of  the  appointed  manuals  of  spiritual  bless- 
ings, and  one  of  the  largest  and  most  free. 

''3Iarch  2od. — She  spoke  with  so  much  cheerfulness  of  her 
blessing — her  beautiful  home — her  room — her  nearest  objects 
of  affection — and  her  nurse.  Wlicn  I  spoke  of  her  voice  being 


1848.]  NOTES.  405 

cheerful,  she  said  her  heart  was,  and  she  did  not  know  why 
her  voice  shoukl  not  be. 

"  She  never  seems  to  regret  the  approach  of  the  symptoms 
which  most  alarm  us.  On  one  occasion  she  remarked,  '  These 
rough  winds  sometimes  carry  us  sooner  into  port.'  When  the 
reply  was  made,  '  They  leave  many  wrecks  behind,'  she 
thought  the  same  winds  might  waft  us. 

"  Praying  with  J.  W.,  '  Grant  that  he  may  give  his  heart 
to  Thee  before  the  hour  of  death.  Dear  Saviour,  intercede 
for  this  youth !     Wash  him  in  Thy  blood.' 

"  I  shall  always  associate  little  '  Mary  Lothrop'  with  her, 
BO  desirous  has  she  been  to  have  children,  in  whom  she  is  in- 
terested, read  that  and  '  Nathan  Dickerman.' 

"  29^A.  —  Susan  spoke  to  Lily  about  a  Christian's  dying, 
with  great  cheerfulness.  I  think  I  never  had  so  bright  an 
idea  of  the  subject  presented  to  my  mind.  She  said  her  con- 
finement had  not  seemed  tedious,  —  that  she  felt  like  a  stran- 
ger and  a  pilgrim.     When said, 

'  Help  I  every  moment  need,' 

she  replied,  'All  in  all  in  Thee  I  find.'  She  observed,  'I 
think  it  is  so  delightful  to  trust  in  God.' 

"  Remarked,  when  I  read  to  her  the  11th  chapter  of  He- 
brews, '  There  is  so  much  emphasis  in  the  verse,  '  For  they 
that  say  such  things  declare  plainly  that  they  seek  a  country ; 
Chi'istians  ought  to  be  so  different  from  the  world.' 

"t/wwe,  1848. — When  we  were  talking  about  the  Buck's 
County  church,  she  said  she  expected  very  little  from  man, 
but  a  great  deal  from  our  Heavenly  Father. 

"Jwwe  Sth.  —  A  youth  called,  in  whose  spiritual  welfare 
she  had  been  much  interested,  and  although  the  rest  she  an- 
ticipated was  of  so  much  importance,  she  would  not  refuse  to 
see  him. 

"  She  spoke  of ,  who,  urged  by  an  increased  anxiety 

about  his  soul's  welfare,  came  under  similar  circumstances, 


406  NOTES.  [1848. 

but  who  never  came  again ;  death  most  unexpectedly  snatched 
him  from  earth,  in  the  midst  of  so  much  earthly  prosperity. 
Most  ha,ppy  he  now  is,  we  trust,  that  he  paused  to  listen  to 
the  Holy  Spirit's  warning  voice. 

''^Sunday,  I'^th. — Last  evening,  when  we  went  into  Susan's 
room,  by  her  request,  to  have  our  Saturday  prayer,  so  hal- 
lowed an  influence  seemed  to  pervade  it,  that  its  memory 
should  ever  be  profitable.  The  calm  moonlight  reposed  on 
the  trees  and  garden.  The  hymn,  '  Guide  me,  oh  Thou  Great 
Jehovah,'  inspired  a  greater  desire  to  commune  with  God. 
And  then  her  prayers  !  She  sent  word  by  F.  to  her  Sunday 
School  class,  '  Let  every  thing  that  hath  breath  praise  the 
Lord.'  She  thought  every  energy  and  affection  should  be 
employed  in  gratitude. 

"  She  referred  to  the  Saviour's  gentleness  to  the  woman 
of  Samaria,  and  spoke  of  having  commenced  the  Gospel  of  St. 
John  with  the  view  Winslow,  in  his  'Glory  of  the  Redeemer,' 
suggests.  Mentioned  her  beloved  doctrine  of  Divine  Right- 
eousness, and  spoke  of  the  divinity  of  the  Saviour.  She 
dwelt  with  peculiar  pleasure,  too,  upon  the  lines, 

'  One  army  of  the  living  God.' 

"  She  wished  us  all  to  pause  before commenced  read- 
ing Winslow  on  'the  Holy  Spirit,'  to  pray  quietly  that  it 
might  be  blessed  to  us.  She  prayed  for  the  children,  that 
they  might  be  convinced  of  sin,  and  righteousness,  and  of 
judgment  to  come,  —  that  the  Saviour's  image  might  be 
stamped  on  their  hearts.  She  spoke  of  her  love  for  the  col- 
lect, '  0  God  the  Holy  Ghost,  Sanctifier  of  the  faithful.' 
Said,  this  morning,  that  her  willingness  to  live  is  the  willing- 
ness of  submission. 

"  When  I  return  to  her  room,  how  frequently  am  I  struck 
(as  though  not  aware  of  it  before)  with  the  air  of  cheerful 
composure  reigning  there.  Her  flowers,  the  love  of  which 
she  says  has  been  a  blessing  to  her ;  her  devotional  books, 


1848.]  NOTES.  407 

all  neatly  arranged ;  and  then  the  patient  occupant  of  that 
chair  of  pain,  never  able  to  step  upon  the  floor,  but  calm  and 
happy. 

'■^Sunday,  25f7i.  —  In  reply  to  the  wish  expressed,  that  it 
might  be  a  refreshing  day,  she  hoped  it  might  be  a  sanctify- 
ing one.  Spoke  of  loving  more  to  be  holy,  and  crucify  the 
flesh,  than  to  be  happy,  and  said,  '  It  is  as  much  a  duty  to 
be  holy  as  happy.  What  God  hath  joined  together,  let  no 
man  put  asunder.' 

"  She  had  old  Nanny  up  this  evening.  I  hope  it  may  be  a 
blessing  to  her. 

"  To  Mr. she  spoke  of  taking  so  much  pleasure  in 

the  thought  that  God  is  King,  and  that  however  unworthy, 
we  are  His  subjects,  and  under  His  dominion. 

"July  10th.  —  This  morning  a  man  came  to  mend  her 
blind,  who  expressed  views  really  absurd,  though  not  so 
astonishing,  as  he  was,  like  most  unbelievers,  little  acquainted 
with  the  Bible.  S.  told  him  of  the  comfort  she  experienced, 
and  asked  him  if  he  supposed  it  imagination.  Wished  to 
know  what  he  could  give  in  its  place.  His  confident  tone 
became  more  gentle,  and  I  hope  he  was  subdued  and  led  to 
realize  that  his  carelessness  and  independence  were  but  poor 
substitutes  for  an  active  and  soul-sustaining  faith  in  God  the 
Father,  God  the  Son,  and  God  the  Holy  Ghost. 

"  19th.  —  She  referred  to  its  being  opposed  to  her  natural 
disposition  to  be  confined  to  her  room,  although  she  is  per- 
fectly satisfied,  because  it  is  the  Avill  of  Providence.  She 
spoke  of  having  no  more  desire  to  live  than  she  used  to  have 
to  stay  all  night  at  the  Woodlands  ;  she  feels  as  willing  to  go 
Home  as  she  used  to  feel  to  return  to  her  dwelling. 

"  She  thinks  it  not  strange  that  having  enjoyed  and  be- 
lieved in  the  theology  conveyed  by  Leighton,  she  should  not 
embrace  the  new  ideas  which  have  brought  so  much  injury  to 
our  beloved  Church. 

"  22d.  —  She  thinks seems  so  directed  in  regard  to 


408  NOTES.  [1848. 

coming  here  at  important  times,  that  it  should  make  us  trust 
that  when  we  have  peculiar  need,  we  shall  have  peculiar 
help. 

^^ Sunday,  23c?.  —  Susan  spoke,  this  morning,  in  a  most 
animated  strain,  on  the  text,  '  We  have  a  strong  City.  Sal- 
vation appointed  for  walls  and  bulwarks.'  Spoke  of  having 
been  enabled  to  look  to  the  Saviour,  of  the  impossibility  of 
finding  comfort  in  ourselves.  Alluded  to  the  sermon  preached 
by  Dr.  Bedell  whilst  she  was  in  vain  trying  to  find  peace,  and 

of  her  efforts  to  improve.     When  we  spoke  of  Mrs. ,  she 

thought  her  not  in  a  situation  to  receive  comfort,  —  com- 
pared her  case  to  that  of  a  wounded  Israelite,  who  would 
dwell  upon  his  wound,  instead  of  looking  to  the  brazen 
serpent. 

"  She  thought  she  might  be  affected  with  paralysis,  but 
does  not  fear.  It  cannot  take  place  unless  allotted  by  our 
Heavenly  Father. 

"  I  left reading  Albert  Duy's  sermons  to  her.     She 

seemed  delighted  with  the  thought  of  meeting  the  saints  in 
heaven  who  once  belonged  to  St.  Andrew's  Church. 

"  She  has  been  extremely  weak,  and  says  that  almost  all 
her  strength  is  spiritual  strength. 

"  She  thinks  some  persons  consider  it  a  mark  of  growth  in 
grace  to  doubt.  Spoke  of  the  doctrine  of  assurance  being 
most  productive  of  gratitude,'  faith  and  humility, — she  had 
known  both  the  spirit  of  bondage  and  of  adoption. 

"  Considers  herself  saved  from  eternal,  and  sustained 
under  present  suffering.  When  in  unusual  pain,  she  said, 
'  I  would  see  Jesus  !'  '  Nothing  but  Jesus  would  I  own,  and 
Jesus  crucified.' 

From  her  Diary. 

'■^June  4:th.  —  How  delightful  it  is  to  be  alone  with  God  ! 
It  is  such  a  privilege  to  ask  pardon  for  sin,  to  implore  the 
influences  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  to  read  the  blessed  Bible  with 


1848.]  DIARY.  409 

the  petition  that  in  its  pages  we  may  see  the  glory  of  the 
Redeemer. 

"  Who  would  desire  better  recreation  than  this  ?  and  yet 
the  disciples  of  Jesus  sometimes  talk  of  '■  unbending  the 
mind,' — having  'rational  and  social  enjoyment'  in  pursuits 
which  have  a  tendency  to  fill  the  mind  with  levity  and 
worldly  thoughts.  0  for  the  unclouded  presence  of  the 
Saviour  !     There  only  shall  be 

'  Every  longing  satisfied, 
With  full  salvation  blest.' 

"And  yet  mine  is  a  sinful  heart,  and  I  do  not  follow 
Jesus  as  I  ought.  I  do  not  depend  upon  my  love  for  Him, 
but  upon  His  love  for  me. 

"I  have  a  great  many  sources  of  enjoyment.  My  room 
is  delightful.  The  birds  sing  sweetly,  and  the  trees  and 
flowers  are  in  full  bloom.  My  friends  are  very,  very  kind  to 
me.  I  was  looking  upon  my  faithful  nurse  to-day,  and  think- 
ing how  much  more  useful  I  ought  to  be  to  her  spiritual  wel- 
fare. She  has  been  more  to  me  than  I  can  tell.  May  the 
Lord  bless  her!" 

To  the  Rev.  E.  Neville. 

"Greenwood,  April  17,  1848. 

''  I  so  much  fear,  my  ever  kind  and  valued  friend,  that  you  will 
be  grieved  because  your  accumulated  engagements  will  probably 
deprive  me  of  your  anticipated  farewell  visit,  that  I  hasten  to  assure 
you  of  my  unwillingness  to  cause  you  a  moment  of  uneasiness,  or  to 
induce  you  to  make  an  effort  which  might  involve  the  sacrifice  of 
some  paramount  duty. 

"  My  desire  that  you  should  repeat  to  me  our  Saviour's  command, 
'Do  this  in  remembrance  of  me,'  is  accompanied  with  cheerful  sub- 
mission to  our  Heavenly  Father's  will  j  so  you  must  not  be  pained  if 
you  cannot  comply  with  it. 

"And  this  is  not  all  I  wish  to  say  to  you,  my  beloved  Dr.  Neville. 
I  thank  my  Heavenly  Father  most  for  the  consolation  of  which  He 
has  so  often  rendered  you  the  medium ;  but  to  you  also  must  I  offer 
an  expression  of  affectionate  gratitude.     You  have  not  deprived  me 

35 


410  LETTERS.  [1848. 

of  your  counsel  and  sympathy  because  I  was  not  one  of  your  parish- 
ioners, but  you  have  come  to  the  retirement  of  one  who  could  not 
follow  the  footsteps  of  the  flock  into  the  green  pastures  of  sanctuary 
privileges,  and  have  told  me  of  the  love  of  Him  who  giveth  His 
life  for  the  sheep,  and  has  promised  that  they  shall  never  perish. 

"  I  trust  you  will  never  be  compelled  to  appropriate  the  reproof, 
'  The  diseased  have  ye  not  strengthened,  neither  have  ye  healed  that 
which  was  sick,  neither  have  ye  bound  up  that  which  was  broken.' 
I  have  asked  the  Apostle  and  High  Priest  of  our  profession  so  to 
anoint  you  with  the  gifts  of  His  Spirit,  that  your  public  and  private 
ministrations  may  be  the  channel  through  which  mercy  and  peace 
may  be  poured  into  many  a  wounded  bosom,  and  a  still  more  vivid 
appreciation  of  redeeming  love  imparted  to  those  who  already 
rejoice. 

"  Thus,  a  learner,  continually  increasing  in  rich  stores  of  spiritual 
experiences ;  a  teacher,  blessing  and  being  blessed,  may  you  pursue 
life's  pilgrimage  with  a  step  more  firm  and  a  heart  more  joyous,  as 
you  approach  '  the  city  which  hath  foundations,  whose  Builder  and 
Maker  is  God.'  Our  beloved  Bishop  remarked,  a  few  weeks  since, 
that  he  thought  a  minister  who  preaches  the  Gospel  with  his  whole 
heart,  has  as  much  of  present  reward  as  can  be  enjoyed  in  this  state 
of  existence. 

"  If  my  life  be  prolonged  until  you  be  permitted  to  unite  your 
petitions  with  those  which  shall  ascend  from  the  heart  of  your  revered 
parent,  will  you  not  sometimes  remember  how  many  blessings  I  need, 
and  how  willing  God  is  to  give  them  to  me  ?  And  surely  I  ought 
to  ask  you  to  praise  Him  for  the  loving-kindness  He  has  already 
manifested.  A  very  sinful  heart  is  the  recipient  of  His  mercy,  but 
He  has  been  so  gentle,  so  long-suflfering,  that  I  do  not  fear  His  love 
will  be  exhausted.  '  The  Lord  will  perfect  that  which  concerneth 
me.'  If  you  could  know  how  much  transgression  has  been  pardoned 
—  how  much  ignorance  instructed — how  much  weakness  supplied 
with  heavenly  strength  —  you  would  tell  me  that  I  ought,  indeed,  to 
'worship  God  in  the  Spirit,  and  rejoice  in  Christ  Jesus,  and  have  no 
confidence  in  the  flesh.' 

"  How  often,  when  the  cautious  tread  or  touch  of  the  most  skilful 
nurse  has  been  the  cause  of  unutterable  agony,  and  excessive  debility 
rendered  me  incapable  of  mental  efi'ort,  have  I  felt  as  though  my 
Heavenly  Father  came  to  me,  rather  than  as  though  I  were  required 
to  seek  His  presence.  It  is  such  a  comfort  to  be  able  to  say,  '  In 
the  Lord  have  I  righteousness  and  strength  !'   We  could  not  approach 


1848.]  LETTERS.  411 

tlie  confines  of  eternity  with  composure,  if  the  unsteady  rays  of  our 
own  faith  and  love  and  obedience  •were  our  light  to  the  tomb.  But 
the  finished  work  of  Jesus  dispels  all  darkness.  Oh,  pray  that  I 
may  fully  understand  this  love.  But  the  lines  my  pencil  is  tracing 
are  so  increasing  in  number  that  I  fear  sister  M.  will  be  long  in 
transcribing  them,  though  she  is  ever  ready  to  employ  herself  in  my 
service. 

"  I  do  not  like  to  say  farewell  to  you,  my  much-loved  friend.  It 
may  be  that  I  shall  not  again  receive  your  ofi'ers  of  sympathy,  but 
for  Jesus'  sake,  our  intercourse  will  be  renewed  in  Heaven.  May 
the  blessing  of  the  Most  High  be  upon  you  now  and  for  ever.  May 
the  joys  and  sorrows  of  life  all  come  to  you  with  the  inscription, 
'  God  is  love.'  May  every  opinion  be  sanctified,  every  action  done 
that  may  be  imitated  with  safety.  May  the  gracious  assurance, 
'My  presence  shall  go  with  thee,  and  I  will  give  thee  rest,'  cheer 
your  voyage,  and  accompany  your  return  to  the  land  of  your  adop- 
tion. I  am  not  surprised  that  you  cross  the  ocean  to  listen  to  your 
mother's  voice,  and  cheer  her  widowed  heart.  Give  her  the  love  of 
one  to  whom  her  son  has  been  a  comfort  and  blessing.  May  I  hope 
to  receive  from  you  a  message  of  epistolary  counsel  ? 

"  I  have  been  intending,  for  a  long  time,  to  commend  my  little 
namesake  to  your  prayers  and  efforts. 

"I  am,  and  ever  will  be,  gratefully  and  affectionately  your  friend, 

"S.  A." 

To  the  Rev.  R.  Smith. 

"June  20th,  1848. 
*  *  *  a  J  pray,  dear  Robert,  that  the  privileges  enjoyed  by 
the  once  neglected  children  whom  you  have  been  permitted  to  con- 
duct to  the  Sunday  School  and  sanctuary,  are  but  earnests  of  still 
greater  blessings.  Oh,  that  the  robe  of  our  Redeemer's  righteous- 
ness and  a  home  in  Heaven  may  be  their  portion !  Oh,  that  the 
spirit  of  the  laborer  who  said,  '  Lord,  it  is  done  as  Thou  hast  com- 
manded, and  yet  there  is  room,'  may  ever  be  yours  !  It  was  his 
privilege  to  be  sent  to  the  highways  and  hedges,  to  gather  poor  out- 
casts to  the  marriage  supper.  These  employments  are  the  higher 
branches  of  your  collegiate  course,  and  next  to  the  duties  of  the 
closet,  the  best  preparation  for  the  ministry.  I  am  not  disposed  to 
depreciate  the  value  of  classical  attainments.  With  the  Alchymist- 
stone  of  religion,  every  acquirement  may  be  turned  into  gold.  It  is 
delightful,  indeed,  to  meet  a  clergyman  who  has  climbed  the  hill  of 
science,  that  he  may  accumulate  treasure  to  lay  at  the  foot  of  the 


412  LETTERS.  [1848. 

Cross.  His  learning,  placed  beneath  the  Sun  of  Righteousness,  will 
reflect  brilliant  rays,  and  may  induce  tho  beholder  to  look  up  to  the 
source  whence  they  proceed.  But  do  you  not  think,  dear  Robert, 
that  expressions. are  sometimes  used  in  reference  to  the  beneficial 
influence  of  great  and  good  men,  which  derogate  from  the  glory  of 
the  Redeemer  ?  It  seems  to  excite  wonder  and  admiration  that  they 
should  condescend  to  enrich  the  triumphs  of  the  Cross  with  their 
rank,  wealth  and  learning.  Should  not  they  and  their  admirers 
ever  remember  his  humility  who  said,  '  Whose  shoe's  latchet  I  am 
not  worthy  to  unloose.'  "     *     *     * 

To  the  same. 

"Aug.  29,  1848. 

"  'A  word  fitly  spoken  is  like  apples  of  gold  in  pictures  of  silver.' 
I  am  reminded  of  this  declaration  of  Holy  Writ  by  a  remark  made 
several  years  since  by  Dr.  Scudder,  in  allusion  to  his  missionary 
eff'orts  in  India,  and  most  appropriate  it  seems  to  the  present  position 
of  our  Bucks  County  affairs.  *  I  have  had  a  great  many  difiBculties, 
but  never  a  discouragement.'  I  have  read,  too,  an  anecdote  in 
'  Williams's  Expedition  to  the  South  Sea  Islands,'  of  which  I  feel 
disposed  to  make  practical  use.  After  the  Gospel  had  erected  its 
influence  in  some  of  the  islands,  a  few  of  the  missionaries  deter- 
mined to  visit  one  for  which  no  effort  had  been  made.  As  they 
approached  it,  the  inhabitants  were  seen  collected  upon  the  shore, 
and  as  they  made  signs  of  a  friendly  reception,  the  missionaries 
landed  in  their  midst.  But  they  soon  discovered  that  these  friendly 
signs  were  only  stratagems,  and  the  poor  missionaries  were  soon 
despoiled  of  the  tools  and  other  articles  which  they  had  taken  with 
them.  In  addition  to  all  this  savage  rudeness  they  were  badly 
beaten,  and  the  bonnets  of  the  female  missionaries  were  torn  off. 
They  were  obliged  to  make  their  escape  as  soon  as  possible.  Some 
time  after  they  felt  impelled  to  return,  and  were  delighted  to  receive 
a  most  cordial  greeting.  They  were  informed  that  after  their  depart- 
ure, the  God  of  the  strangers  had  visited  the  island  with  a  dreadful 
pestilence  (I  think),  and  they  regarded  it  as  an  indication  of  dis- 
pleasure at  their  conduct.  They  had,  therefore,  collected  their  stolen 
treasures  and  placed  them  in  a  cave,  and  were  fully  prepared  to 
prove  their  repentance  by  earnest  attention  to  all  the  instructions 
their  new  friends  were  disposed  to  give.  'The  solitary  place  was 
glad  for  them,  and  the  desert  rejoiced  and  blossomed  as  the  rose.' 
After  many  of  the  natives  had  become  matured  in  Christian  know- 
ledge, these  faithful  laborers  felt  that  they  must  say  in  other  places, 


1848.]  LETTERS.  413 

'The  Lord  reigneth.'  Before  their  departure  the  natives  assembled, 
and  in  one  of  their  parting  addresses  expressed  the  most  grateful 
appreciation  of  the  services  they  had  received,  and  their  sense  of  the 
loss  they  would  sustain  from  the  deprivations  of  the  female  mission- 
aries, v?ho  had  not  neglected  to  teach  the  women  to  perform  the 
duties  of  domestic  life.  Several  years  have  passed  since  I  read  this 
anecdote,  but  I  believe  I  have  related  it  correctly. 

"  I  do  not  compare  the  community  which  surrounds  you  with  these 
poor  idolaters,  but  I  would  encourage  myself  and  you  to  labor  on. 
Would  it  not  be  delightful  to  hear  the  ascription,  '  Thou  art  the 
King  of  Glory,  0  Christ !'  ascending  from  lips  which  now  deny  the 
divinity  of  our  Holy  Redeemer  ?  But  I  need  not  ask  you  this  ques- 
tion, my  dear  cousin.  You  have  evinced  deep  interest  in  the  land 
of  your  forefathers,  and  this  zeal  emanates  from  a  higher  source  than 
mere  sympathy  with  my  desires,  glad  as  you  would  ever  be  to  increase 
my  happiness.     *     *     * 

"I  think  the  Episcopal  Church  much  better  suited  to  the  Friends 
than  any  other.  They  love  order,  and  when  they  are  convinced  that 
spirituality  is  compatible  with  forms  of  devotion,  they  find  great  com- 
fort in  our  'sweet  communion,  solemn  vows  and  hymns  of  love  and 
praise.'  You  know  that  I  delight  in  the  society  of  the  disciples  of 
Jesus,  whatever  be  their  name ;  but  I  am  not,  therefore,  less  con- 
vinced that  in  offering  the  privileges  of  our  beloved  Church  to  this 
community,  we  shall  most  adequately  meet  their  spiritual  necessities. 
I  would  not  have  our  Church  exalt  herself,  but  the  Cross  of  our 
blessed  Saviour,  and  I  desire  that  her  ministers  may  ever  be  too 
busily  engaged  in  proclaiming  the  glory  of  Immanuel,  to  dwell  too 
long  upon  the  superiority  of  our  ecclesiastical  organization." 

No  one,  acquainted  with  Miss  Allibone's  sentiments,  could 
have  doubted  the  grief  and  anxiety  wherewith  she  regarded 
the  growth  and  prevalence  of  what  is  known  as  the  Tracta- 
rian  or  Oxford  Theology.  To  her  clear  and  scripturally- 
enlightened  judgment,  its  hollowness  was  palpable  from  the 
outset.  She  marked  with  alarm  the  rising  of  the  cloud  which 
darkened  with  a  shadow  so  portentous  our  ecclesiastical 
horizon,  and  distilled  upon  the  vineyard  of  the  Lord  dews  so 
blighting  and  noxious.  The  system,  from  its  Alpha  to  its 
Omega,  in  its  germ  and  its  buddings  as  well  as  in  its  develop- 

35  * 


414  LETTERS.  [1848. 

ment,  Tvas  distasteful  and  repulsive  to  her  soul.  She  saw 
clearly  its  tendency  to  derogate  from  tlie  honor  of  her  Re- 
deemer, by  putting  the  Church  and  the  Priest  in  the  place  of 
the  great  High  Priest  of  our  profession,  and  to  substitute 
ritual  and  sacramental  observances  for  the  work  of  the  Spii'it 
in  the  heart.  Open  as  the  day,  she  never  concealed  her 
candid  convictions  on  this  subject ;  and  filled  with  concern 
for  the  spiritual  and  eternal  welfare  of  her  friends,  she  could 
not  refrain  from  warning  them  against  the  insidious  tendency 
of  what  she  looked  upon  as  ^^  another  Gospel.''  It  would  not 
be  easy  to  find,  in  the  volumes  written  in  exposure  of  these 
errors,  a  more  striking  portraiture,  in  few  words,  of  their  true 
character,  than  in  the  letter  next  following: 

To  the  same. 

'  The  preparation  of  the  heart  and  the  answer  of  the  tongue,  which 
your  attempts  to  be  useful  to  your  fellow-students  render  so  needful, 
I  have  asked  for  you  very  often.  I  need  not  say  that  I  have  remem- 
bered your  request  to  ask  for  them  the  best  blessings,  but  I  feel 
reproached  that  I  do  not  pray  for  them  with  greater  intensity  of  in- 
terest. I  have  often  implored  that  I  might  fully  realize,  that  every 
unrenewed  being  is  on  his  way  to  everlasting  ruin ;  and  that  I  might 
labor  for  the  conversion  of  the  impenitent,  as  I  shall  wish  to  have 
done  when  I  stand  with  them  at  the  judgment-seat  of  Christ.  Philips, 
in  a  chapter  on  'Pleasing  God  by  doing  Good,'  asks  the  reader  to 
place  himself  in  imagination  at  the  judgment-seat.  '  See  you  there 
no  sinner  you  could  have  counselled,  no  neighbor  you  might  have 
warned  ?  If  it  were  permitted  you  to  rush  across  the  narrow  space 
which  divides  the  righteous  from  the  wicked,  how  gladly  you  would 
pluck  even  one  brand  from  the  burning  I' 

"  '  With  supplications  will  I  lead  them,'  is  a  promise  which  I  pray 
may  be  more  and  more  fulfilled  in  our  experience.  Oh,  pray  much  that 
T,  who  am  so  peculiarly  dependent  upon  the  teaching  of  grace,  may 
draw  more  largely  upon  its  resources  for  myself  and  others.  If  you 
wish  to  have  your  heart  warmed,  dear  R.,  oifer  the  petitions  of  the 
119th  Psalm. 

"  1  mournfully  respond  to  the  lamentations  contained  in  your  last 
letter.  Scarcely  any  thing  has  weighed  upon  my  heart  so  heavily  as 
this  imperfect  and  inadequate  theology.     It  meets  not  the  require- 


1848.]  LETTERS.  415 

ments  of  this  world,  nor  the  world  to  come.  It  neither  humbles  nor 
exalts;  it  gives  neither  godly  sorrow,  nor  true  peace.  All  I  have 
seen  of  its  developments  increases  my  conviction  that  it  is  neither 
the  teaching  which  God  has  given,  nor  man  requires.  The  combined 
wisdom  of  ancient  and  modern  sages,  united  with  the  most  dazzling 
exhibition  of  rhetorical  power  in  a  student  of  this  system  of  divinity, 
would,  in  my  estimation,  only  make  darkness  visible.  '  If  the  light 
that  is  in  thee  be  darkness,  how  great  is  that  darkness !'  I  bless  the 
Father  of  mercies  that  he  has  given  a  better  theology  to  my  orphan 
cousin, — even  a  personal  experience  of  the  deep  depravity  of  his  na- 
ture, his  entire  inability  to  turn  and  prepare  himself,  by  his  own 
natural  strength  and  good  works,  to  faith  and  calling  upon  God,  and 
has  enabled  Him  to  prove  that  the  conviction,  '  that  we  are  justified 
by  faith  alone  is  a  most  wholesome  doctrine,  and  very  full  of  com- 
fort.' May  the  Great  Teacher  '  increase  this  knowledge,  and  confirm 
this  faith  in  you  evermore.'  It  has  been  deserted  by  some  of  its 
once  earnest  advocates.  Surely,  they  must  have  turned  away  from 
the  Sun  of  Righteousness  to  some  lesser  light,  and  forgot  the  bright 
beams  which  rested  upon  the  commencement  of  their  spiritual  course. 
God  grant  that  it  may  never  be  thus  with  my  cousin  R.  '  But,  be- 
loved, we  are  persuaded  better  things  of  you,  and  things  which  accom- 
pany salvation,  though  we  thus  speak.'  "     *     *     * 

To  J.  II.  S. 

"  July,  1848. 
"  Oh  that  your  whole  life,  dear  H.,  may  be  a  history  of  fulfilled 
promises,  emphatically  as  it  has  verified  the  assurance  that  God  is 
'  the  helper  of  the  fatherless.'  Now  that  His  kind  guidance  has  con- 
ducted you  to  the  important  position  in  which  you  stand,  my  mental 
eye  rests  upon  you  with  no  ordinary  interest;  and  I  resume  our  long 
suspended  correspondence,  that  I  may  assure  you  of  that  you  already 
know,  for  you  have  not  doubted  that  the  prayers  and  sympathy  of 
your  cousin  Susan  are  yours.  But  my  petitions  for  you  are  not  as 
frequent  and  fervent  as  your  necessities  require,  and  I  wish  you 
would  pray  that  an  enlarged  spirit  of  intercessory  prayer  may  be 
granted  me.  Oh,  '  take  to  arm  you  for  the  fight,'  the  panoply  of  God, 
my  dear  cousin.  You  take  the  Gospel  trumpet  into  your  hand  at  a 
time  when  it  is  peculiarly  needful  that  it  give  no  uncertain  sound. 
Let  its  loud  clear  notes  of  warning  be  mingled  with  such  melodious 
tones  of  tenderness,  that  you  shall  prove  that  you  have  deeply  im- 
bibed his  spirit  who  exclaimed,  '  Oh  !  Jerusalem  !  Jerusalem  ;'     As 


416  LETTERS.  [1848. 

a  soldier  of  the  Cross,  and  a  fullower  of  the  Lamb,  may  you  faith- 
fully proclaim  and  beautifully  exemplify  the  truths  of  religion.  Do 
you  ask,  'Who  is  sufficient  for  these  things?'  Let  the  response  be 
so  promptly  impressed  upon  your  heart,  by  the  Holy  Spirit's  influ- 
ence, that  despondency  shall  never  for  a  moment  succeed  your  ques- 
tion. 

"  Oh  that  you,  my  dear  cousin,  may  be  as  great  a  comfort  and 
blessing  to  many  a  stricken  one  as  my  dear  Dr.  Clark  was  to  me. 
Oh,  that  your  character  and  counsels  may  be  as  elevated  and  faithful 
as  those  which  are  written  upon  the  memories  of  those  who  best 
know  the  two  departed  Rectors  of  St.  Andrew's  Church. 

"  Behold  a  witness  nobler  still, 
Who  trod  affliction's  path, 
Jesus,  the  Author,  Finisher, 
Rewarder  of  our  faith.'  " 

To  her  Cousin,  Mrs.  C.  S.  0. 

"August,  1848. 

"  I  do  not  remember  wJicn  I  hc(/an  to  love  thee,  dearest ,  nor 

have  I  ever  ceased  to.  The  stream  of  affection,  deepening  and  widen- 
ing as  it  rolls  along,  sometimes  overflows  its  banks ;  and  often  would 
a  sheet  of  paper  be  its  channel,  if  there  were  no  physical  inability  to 
obstruct  its  course.  The  pleasant  memories  of  my  childhood  become 
still  more  affectionate  as  they  mingle  with  recollections  of  the  sym- 
pathy which  has  been  elicited  by  the  infirmities  of  this  frail  tene- 
ment, and  the  departure  of  my  best-loved  earthly  friend.  The  '  gathered 

ties  of  years'  are  not  all  that  bind  our  hearts,  dear ,  nor  are  they 

half  so  strong  as  the  chain  of  Christian  intercourse,  interwoven  with 
so  many  links  of  united  prayers,  of  ^mutual  solicitude  for  the  eternal 
weal  of  those  we  love, — and  rejoicing,  that  so  many  for  whom  we 
asked  heavenly  blessings  have  received  '  fulness  of  joy,  and  plea- 
sures for  ever  more.'  0  !  that  we  may  be  drawn  together  into  the 
sheltered  cleft  of  the  Rock  of  Ages  !  away  from  self,  away  from  sin, 
away  from  every  thing  that  would  interpose  between  our  souls  and 
the  unclouded  light  of  our  Redeemer's  countenance.  1  often  think 
of  our  Saviour's  prayer,  '  I  will  that  they  also,  whom  thou  hast  given 
me,  be  with  me  where  I  am;  that  they  may  behold  the  glory  which 
Thou  hast  given  me.'  This  means  more  than  we  can  express,  more 
than  we  can  imagine,  and  oh  how  much  !  —  to  be  with  Jesus;  to 
gaze  upon  His  Holiness ;  to  live  upon  His  love ;  to  forget  our  own 
white  robes  and  reflected  brilliancy  in  the  eternal  contemplation  of 


1848.]  DIARY. 


417 


His  glory  !  Is  it  a  great  thing  that  we  suffer  a  little  while,  since  we 
shall  enjoy  so  much  for  ever  ?  And  not  in  anticipation  alone  does 
the  happiness  of  the  believer  consist;  '  Beloved,  noio  are  we  the  sons 
of  God.'  O  that  we  were  ever  '  making  melody  in  our  hearts  unto 
the  Lord  !'  Oh  that  the  low  sweet  notes  of  contrition,  meekness  and 
submission  may  be  ever  combined  with  the  glad  vibrations  of  grati- 
tude and  praise,  and  mingle  with  the  harmony  of  a  holy  life.  But 
it  is  only  the  heavenly  harpers  who  sing  without  discord.     Sinful  as 

my  heart  is,  my  beloved ,  there  is  gladness  there.    My  Saviour 

has  washed  away  my  sins,  and  covered  my  soul  with  the  Robe  of 
His  Righteousness.  Do  not  grieve  that  my  life  draweth  nigh  to  the 
grave,  for  it  is  a  quiet  resting-place  for  a  worn-out  frame,  and  Heaven 
receives  the  ransomed  spirit.  Neither  be  too  much  pained  if  my 
pilgrimage  be  protracted,  and  suffering  increase ;  for  no  emergency 
can  equal  the  power  and  love  of  God,  and  there  will  never  be  a  mo- 
ment when  our  High  Priest  will  not  be  'touched  with  a  feeling  of 
our  infirmities.'  Among  the  many  evidences  of  thy  affection,  I  feel 
onost  thankful  for  the  petitions  which  ascend  for  me.  I  shall  never 
know,  in  this  world,  how  much  I  am  indebted  to  the  prayers  of  my 
Christian  friends.  I  need  humility  more  than  any  other  grace  of 
the  Spirit,  and  I  think  the  prayerful  contemplation  of  our  Redeemer's 
work  and  character  is  the  most  certain  channel  through  which  this 
gift  is  conveyed  to  the  soul ;  therefore  pray  that  my  spiritual  vision 
become  more  distinct,  and  be  fixed  upon  the  Cross,  where  '  mercy 
and  truth  are  met  together.'  I  feel  deeply  for  Dr.  and  Mrs.  H.,  and 
increasingly  desire  all  their  children  may  live  ybr  ever." 

From  lier  Diary. 

'■^Aug.  9th,  1848.  —  I  consider  Dr.  S.'s  visit,  the  day  after 
his  arrival,  an  answer  to  prayer,  though  I  did  not  expect  to 
have  seen  him  so  soon.  He  prayed  fervently,  and  I  felt  that 
his  visit  was  indeed  pastoral.  St.  Andrew's  was  my  spiritual 
birth-place,  and  must  ever  be  the  home  of  my  heart.  My 
name,  I  trust,  will  never  be  removed  from  the  list  of  her  com- 
municants, until  I  be  removed  to  the  upper  sanctuary. 

"  Dr.  S.  has  engaged  to  administer  the  Communion  to  me 

on  Friday.     My  Saviour,  I  come  to  Thee  for  preparation. 

Let  this  preparation  be  an  emptying  of  self,  and  simple  trust 

in  Thy  merits.     Even  faith,  were  it  bright  and  strong  as  it 

2b 


418  PiARY.  [1848. 

ought  to  be,  I  would  not  present  as  a  claim  upon  Tliy  bless- 
ing. I  offer  Thy  own  name.  Thy  precious  blood,  Thy  glo- 
rious righteousness. 

"  lOi^/i.  —  Dr.  S.  remarked,  'I  do  not  ask  commendation, 
I  do  not  ask  courtesies  or  compliments,  but  I  ask  the  prayers 
of  my  people ;  and  if  I  have  their  prayers,  I  know  I  shall 
have  their  love.' 

"  How  very  true  it  is  that  we  love  any  one  for  whom  we 
pray  a  great  deal.  Even  those  whose  sins  and  follies  would 
excite  disgust,  and  '  the  wrath  of  man,  which  worketh  not 
the  righteousness  of  God,'  become  objects  of  tender  compas- 
sion when  they  are  presented  for  healing  to  the  Great  Physi- 
cian. How  often  have  the  former  feelings  been  excited  in 
my  sinful  heart,  and  then  reproved  and  changed  by  the  blessed 
Spirit  of  God  into  pity  and  love  ! 

"Ocif.  12i7i.  —  I  should  like  to  make  some  notes  of  a  visit 
from  Muser,  the  converted  African,  and  of  some  letters  from 
him  that  Mrs.  Minor  read  me,  but  I  hope  these  manifesta- 
tions of  the  love  of  the  Most  High  are  more  legibly  recorded 
upon  my  heart  than  they  can  be  in  my  Diary." 

Notes. 

"  In  her  prayer-book,  near  the  words,  '  I  will  not  leave 
you  comfortless,'  I  found  written,   '  A  fulfilled  promise.' 

"  Thursday,  —  She  reproached  herself  for  not  having  re- 
membered to  send  '  Nelson's  Cause  and  Cure  of  Infidelity' 
to  the  man  in  whom  she  had  become  interested. 

"  She  has  written  in  her  Bible,  as  a  comment  on  the  8th 
verse  of  the  first  chapter  of  Haggai,  '  Go  up  to  the  moun- 
tains, and  bring  word,  and  build  the  house,  and  I  will  take 
pleasure  in  it,  and  will  be  glorified,  saith  the  Lord'  —  ^Tlie 
Bucks  County  Church.'' 

^^Aug.  5th.  —  Susan  thinks  writing  works  of  fiction  a 
miserable  occupation  for  an  immortal  being,  when  there  is  so 
much  beautiful  truth. 


1848.]  CONVERSATION.  419 

"  Speaking  of  tlie  text,  '  If  ye  love  me,  keep  my  com- 
mandments,' she  is  more  than  ever  convinced  that  this  is  the 
way  to  be  religious. 

"  2Sd.  —  She  said,  searching  for  an  article  without  a  light 
was  like  acting  without  prayer.  She  alluded  to  a  comparison 
which  had  pleased  her,  of  a  camelia,  which,  lovely  as  it  is, 
disappoints  by  its  want  of  fragrance,  to  a  beautiful  person 
without  religion. 

"  With  how  much  emphasis  did  dear  S.  speak  of  her  mo- 
ther, of  not  remembering  one  instance  of  a  compromise  of 
principle  in  her.  She  was  so  truthful,  so  averse  to  speaking 
ill  of  others,  so  bright  and  lovely,  conveying  as  perfect  an 
assemblage  as  I  ever  beheld,  of  beauty,  dignity  and  matronly 
charms.  She  taught  us  to  respect,  confide  in  and  love  her, 
and  great  was  the  blessing  of  owning  such  a  parent. 

"  Susan  thinks  every  person  who  has  reason  should  take 
care  to  consecrate  it. 

"When  speaking  of  the  Bucks  County  Church  project, 
Susan  seemed  to  think  she  could  not  be  discouraged.  Said, 
'  There  is  always  material,  where  there  is  one  immortal 
soul.' 

"  Wednesday.  —  Susan  seemed  very  sprightly.  She  won- 
dered which  would  wear  out  first,  her  chair,  or  herself.  She 
said  she  believed  there  never  was  a  person  who  faded,  and 
drooped,  and  withered,  with  less  regret. 

"She  thought  these  wrong  views  are  like  a  dark  passage 
out  of  the  castle  of  Truth,  which  leads  one  wherever  he  chooses 
to  go. 

"■JSfov.  Sth.  —  Susan  has  had  a  great  deal  of  pain.  She 
remarked,  'If  you  give  persons  your  hours  of  prayer,  you 
give  them  one  of  the  most  blessed  gifts  the  Lord  has  given 
you.'  She  desired  that  whatever  He  gives  us  here.  He  would 
give  us  glory  and  His  presence  hereafter. 

"  She  thinks  there  is  no  compliment  to  an  author  so  great 
as  to  say  that  he  reminds  you  of  the  Bible.     Archbishop 


420  CONVERSATION.  [1848. 

Leigliton  receives  from  lier,  as  she  terms  it,   '  this  involun- 
tary tribute.' 

"  She  thought,  when  speaking  of  the  absent,  if  others  were 
acquainted  with  the  bad  traits  of  their  character,  it  was  not 
necessary  to  inform  them  ;  and  if  they  were  not,  it  was  best 
not  to  enlighten  them.  Thus  doing  away  with  speaking  of 
the  faults  of  others  entirely. 

'■^Sunday,  Nov.  2d.  —  She  talked  to-day  of  'Imputed 
Righteousness;'  thought  it  strange  that  the  term  should  be 
objected  to,  when  the  expression  is  used  in  the  Bible. 

"  5^7<.  —  She  spoke  of  having  struggled  through  a  great 
many  difficulties  at  the  commencement  of  her  religious  life, 
but  was  glad  she  had  not  been  accustomed  to  hear  of  religion 
without  seeing  it  practised. 

"  She  spoke  in  the  most  animated  manner  of  our  blessed 
Saviour,  of  loA'ing  to  turn  to  Him,  to  be  alone  Avith  Him,  to 
love  Him  better  than  her  earthly  friends  ;  and  of  being  with 
Him.  Repeated  the  passage,  '  Such  an  High  Priest  became 
us.' 

"  She  thinks  prayer  and  reading,  without  self-exammation, 
like  watering  a  garden  without  weeding  it. 

"  A  great  sorrow,  she  says,  swallows  up  little  ones,  and 
then  that  is  cast  upon  the  Saviour.  She  does  not  think  of 
Heaven  so  much  as  a  rest  from  suffering,  as  a  place  of  holi- 
ness. She  remarked,  of  her  sufferings,  '  It  is  a  great  com- 
fort to  me  that  the  pain  I  have  is  doing  its  work.' 

"  Speaking  of  the  effect  of  the  lamp,  'She  would  not  like 
to  turn  away  from  the  Sun  of  Righteousness,  as  she  had  to 
do  from  lesser  lights.'  " 

Letter  to  a  Lady. 

"  Dec.  7,  1848. 

"If  you  were  with  rue,  dear  L.,  I  would  tell  you  bow  much  I 
have  regretted  the  postponement  of  my  promised  letter,  but  I  must 
not  expend  my  little  strength  in  apologies. 

"  When  we  first  met,  my  heart  was  filled  with  an  earnest  desire 
that  you  should  surrender  your  affections  to  the  only  Being  who  is 


1848.]  LETTER.  421 

■worthy  to  receive  tlicm  ;  and  I  told  you  of  the  devoted  piety  of  my 
departed  friend,  dear  Lucie,  with  the  hope  that  the  Holy  Spirit 
would  impress  the  lessoa.  Dear  L.,  let  your  aim  be  high  ;  let  your 
step  be  ever  onward.  Onward  !  do  I  say  ?  Have  you  indeed  been 
arrested  in  that  path  of  danger  which  is  pursued  by  every  child  of 
Adam,  so  long  as  he  continues  unreconciled  to  his  Maker;  and  have 
your  feet  been  turned  toward  Mount  Zion,  the  city  of  the  living 
God  ?  Has  the  Holy  Spirit  taught  you  that,  young  as  you  are,  you 
have  violated  the  law  of  the  Most  High,  and  are  condemned  by  that 
law  ?  And,  forsaking  all  other  dependence,  have  you  accepted  the 
offers  of  salvation  which  are  extended  by  Him  who  was  *  made  sin 
for  us,  who  knew  no  sin,  that  we  might  be  made  the  righteousness 
of  God  in  Him'  ? 

"  The  information  your  brother  gave  me,  that  you  have  assumed 
the  vows  of  baptism,  encourages  the  hope  that  you  can  give  an 
af&rmative  answer  to  all  these  questions ;  for  I  trust  this  public  con- 
secration of  yourself  to  God  was  the  result  of  secret  and  unreserved 
surrender  to  His  service.  '  Give  me  thine  heart,'  is  the  requisition 
of  our  Father  in  Heaven.  If  it  were  not  so,  we  might  well  hesitate 
to  present  an  oifering  so  unworthy. 

"How  free  is  the  gift  of  salvation,  and  how  simple  the  terms 
upon  which  it  is  proposed !  '  Believe  on  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ, 
and  thou  shalt  be  saved.'  And  we  can  go  to  the  Giver  of  every 
good  gift  for  this  faith  which  is  required;  so  there  is  nothing  which 
need  keep  us  away  from  Him.  At  the  foot  of  the  Cross  we  learn 
to  repent,  to  love  and  to  obey.  Is  it  not  an  unspeakable  consolation 
to  have  such  a  Saviour?  One  who  is  a  Counsellor,  a  Prophet, 
Priest  and  King.  Go  to  Him,  dear  L.,  with  every  sin,  every  sor- 
row, every  perplexity.  •  Be  not  afraid,  only  lelievc'  But  whilst 
our  Pleavenly  Father  so  freely  dispenses  his  mercies,  He  insists  that 
we  shall  forsake  all  else  for  Him.  He  teaches  us  by  His  Word 
(and  our  own  experience  confirms  the  assertion),  that  the  gaieties 
of  fashionable  life  are  uncongenial  with  His  service,  nor  will  He 
permit  the  indulgence  of  any  sin.  I  have  always  observed  that 
those  disciples  of  the  Saviour  who  have  been  most  conspicuous 
for  their  resemblance  to  Him,  have  been  remarkable,  also,  for  their 
diligent  attention  to  the  means  of  grace.  Whilst  their  motto  has 
been  '  Looking  unto  Jesus,'  they  have  loved  to  rise  early,  to  com- 
mune with  Him  in  secret  prayer;  they  have  delighted  in  the  Scrip- 
tures, and  have 

36 


422  WINTER    CHEERFULNESS.  [1849. 

'  Walked  the  happy  round 
That  circles  Zion's  holy  ground, 
And  gladly  swelled  the  choral  lays 
That  hymned  their  great  Redeemer's  praise.' 

"  They  have  b^eil  attentive  to  the  essential  duty  of  self-examina- 
tion ;  they  have  proved,  by  their  practical  application  of  the  com- 
mands of  God,  that  their  religion  was  not  a  beautiful  theory,  but  a 
living  principle.  They  have  been  more  fearful  of  grieving  the  Holy 
Spirit  by  uuwatchfulness,  levity  and  irritability,  than  those  whose 
standard  has  been  1-ess  exalted ;  and  as  they  have  pressed  on,  they 
have  learned  so  much  of  the  character  of  their  Maker,  that  their 
self-abasement  has  become  greater  and  greater,  and  they  unite  in  the 
ascription,  '  Not  unto  us,  oh  Lord,  not  unto  us,  but  unto  Thy  name 
be  the  praise.' 

"  Would  you  be  such  a  Christian,  my  dear  young  friend  ?  Re- 
member the  promise,'  '  Call  upon  me,  and  I  will  answer  thee,  and 
show  thee  great  and  mighty  things  which  thou  kncwest  not.'"    *   * 

From  her  own  Diary. 

''Feb.  ISth,  1849,  Sunda't/.—  ' AW  Thj  works  shall  praise 
Thee,  0  Lord,  and  Thy  saints  shall  bless  Thee.' 

"  I  am  reminded  of  this  passage  by  the  little  birds  which 
Lave  been  flying  from  branch  to  branch  of  the  pine-tree  near 
my  windoAV.  Snow  is  upon  the  ground,  and  the  air  is  very 
cold,  but  when  the  eye  is  resting  upon  the  green  tree,  and 
these  joyous  birds,  one  mignt  almost  forget  that  it  is  not 
summer.  How  appropriate  an'  emblem  of  the  consolations 
of  religion,  of  the  hopes  which  cheer  my  heart ! 

"  My  subjects  of  meditation,  for  some  mornings,  have 
been  the  lltli  and  12th  verses  of  the  first  chapter  of  Colos- 
sians.  This  is  the  experience  which  I  pray  may  ever  be 
mine,  for  Jesus'  sake. 

"  I  have  been  asking  my  Heavenly  Father  to  sanctify  my 
faithful  Sarah,  and  to  forgive  me  because  I  have  not  been 
i^iore  faithful  to  her.  How  much  more  useful  an  influence  I 
might  have  exerted,  and  how  much  more  earnestly  I  might 


1849.]  CONVERSATION.  423 

have  prayed  for  her !  Indeed,  I  have  the  same  source  of 
regret  in  reference  to  all  my  friends. 

"  What  would  be  my  hope,  and  where  my  consolation,  if 
my  title  to  the  joys  of  heaven  were  dependent  upon  the  per- 
fect performance  of  a  single  duty?  My  Saviour,  it  is  upon 
Thy  righteousness,  upon  Thine  only,  that  I  depend.  '  Search, 
prove  my  heart,  it  looks  to  Thee.'  Let  there  be  nothing 
there  which  belongs  to  myself." 

.  I^otes. 

^'■June  Id.  —  This  morning  S.  told  me  to  think  how  many 
prisoners  and  captives  there  were.  Sarah  said,  '  You  are 
a  prisoner,  too.'     'I  am  a  prisoner  of  the  Lord,'  she  replied. 

"  Speaking  to  Miss of  her  present  situation,  she  said, 

'  Any  position  from  which  we  are  enabled  to  see  the  world 
above  more  closely,  is  one  for  which  we  ought  to  be  thank- 
ful.' 

"  Speaking  of  cholera,  '  What  a  remedy  is  the  "  Balm  of 
Gilead,"  if  it  is  only  applied  !' 

"Alluding  to  the  91st  Psalm,  she  dwelt  upon  our  being 
preserved  not  only  from  evil,  but  from  the  fear  of  it.  She 
says  people  have  twice  as  much  trouble  in  passing  through 
life  as  they  need  have. 

"  Quoting  the  text,  'Be  ye  not  unequally  yoked  together 
with  unbelievers,'  she  said,  '  How  differently  things  look, 
when  viewed  in  the  light  of  worldly  policy,  instead  of  in  the 
light  of  God's  Word  !' 

'■'■Juyie  29th.  —  She  remarked,  '  When  we  forget  to  pray 
for  a  friend,  we  do  not  know  what  need  that  friend  may 
be  in.' 

"To-day  she  wished  us,  when  we  thought  about  the 
Church,  to  cast  it  upon  the  Saviour. 

^'•July  Sfh.  —  She  spoke,  this  morning,  of  Archbishop 
Leighton's  remark,  '  When  mercy  and  peace  dwell  within 
the  heart,  knock  who  will,  they  only  will  reply  ' 


424  CONVERSATION.  [1849. 

"  When  "sve  talked  of  anticipated  excursions,  she  said,  play- 
full}",  that  she  thought  of  being  carried  to  the  window.  When 
sitting  for  her  daguerreotype,  she  spoke  of  the  necessity  of 
being  quiet  under  our  Heavenly  Father's  hand,  if  we  would 
reflect  the  image  of  the  Saviour. 

'■'•Sunday,  July  l^th.  —  She  told  little  S.  that  she  must 
not  grieve  God,  who  had  given  her  all  those  beautiful  things, 
by  breaking  His  holy  Sabbath. 

"  29</i.  —  To  a  chimney-sweep  she  said,  'I'm  very  happy. 
Do  you  know  why  I  am  happy  ?'  He  answered,  '  Yes,  you 
gave  me  a  tract  once.'  She  told  him  that  the  Holy  Spirit 
had  made  her  feel  that  she  was  a  sinner,  and  made  her  love 
Jesus  Christ.  She  told  him  he  would  find  great  comfort  in 
praying. 

"  She  says,  when  we  do  any  thing  for  the  Saviour,  we 
should  give  the  work  to  Him.  There  is  so  much  danger  of 
depending  upon  our  own  instrumentality. 

"  Susan  talked  of  the  Pineville  Church,  and  said  she 
thought  of  her  dear  old  promise,  '  In  all  thy  ways  acknow- 
ledge Him,  and  He  shall  direct  thy  paths.' 

"  She  prayed  for  R.,  Avho  is  preparing  for  the  ministry, 
that  he  might  hide  behind  the  Cross,  that  he  might  be  allowed 
to  win  souls,  and  then  bow  down  to  bless  the  Lord,  and  not 
stand  up  to  be  admired. 

"  Told ,  a  Mormon,  thatr  a  person  might  be  sincere  in 

error,  but  not  safe  because  sincere.     To ,  who  said  that 

unbaptized  infants  were  in  purgatory,-  and  that  baptism 
washed  away  original  sin,  she  said,  'The  blood  of  Jesus 
Christ  cleanseth  from  all  sin.  If  those  doctrines  were  so,  it 
would  only  cleanse  from  some  sin.'  When  speaking  of  abso- 
lution by  a  priest.  Sue  told  her  of  the  comfort  she  had  while 
so  ill,  in  feeling  the  Shepherd  and  Bishop  of  souls  to  be 
always  near;  that  our  Saviour  said,  '•It  is Jinished,'  and  that 
she  depended  upon  His  finished  work. 

"  On  Sunday,  Sept.  2Sd,  she  became  more  ill.     '  How  I 


1849.]  LETTERS.  425 

should  like  to  go  home  to-day,'  slie  said  ;  'it  ■would  be  a  plea- 
sant Sabbath-day's  journey.'  She  told  W.  to  mark  that  pas- 
sage in  Lcighton  :  '  In  the  fire  of  affliction  faith  is  tried,  and 
that  on  which  faith  relies  is  tried  and  is  found  all  gold,  most 
precious,  with  no  refuse  in  it.'  Little  S.  asked  what  book 
was  lying  upon  her  bed  ;  she  replied,  '  The  Promises  —  kind 
things  which  our  Father  says  to  us.'  " 

To  a  Young  Relative. 

"Greenwood,  July  20th,  1849. 

*'  I  have  very  affectionate  and  pleasant  recollections  of  the  very 
little  girl  who  loved  so  much  to  perform  kind  ofBces  for  cousin  Sue, 
and  can  scarcely  realize  that  the  few  years  of  our  separation  have 
transformed  the  playful  child  into  a  studious  young  lady.      And  yet 

I  suppose,  dear ,  that  you  are  gleesonie  still.     Your  Heavenly 

Father  has  planted  so  many  flowers  in  your  path  that  you  have 
passed  cheerily  along ;  sometimes,  I  trust,  indeed,  very  often,  lookino- 
up  with  a  grateful  heart  to  bless  and  praise  the  Almighty  Friend 
who  has  been  so  mindful  of  your  happiness.  Oh,  that  you  may  ever 
have  grace  given  you  to  reject  the  weeds  of  folly  and  sin,  however 
attractive  their  perfume  or  brilliant  their  hue  !  Oh,  that  the  strait 
and  narrow  way  may  be  my  dear  young  cousin's  chosen  path  !  This 
way  is  shaded  by  the  tree  of  life ;  '  still  waters'  refresh  the  pilgrim 
who  journeys  there,  and  'green  pastures'  afford  him  repose.  A  gentle 
hand  leads  him  on  —  a  strong  arm  is  his  support,  and  a  voice  of  love 
gives  encouragement  to  his  spirit,  which  would  else  be  often  weary; 
for  there  are  foes  within  and  around  him,  and  there  is  a  cross  on  his 
shoulder.  But  'looking  unto  Jesus  the  Author  and  Finisher  of  his 
faith'  he  pursues  his  course,  for  Heaven  is  his  destined  home,  and 
he  loves  the  way  thither. 

"  How  glad  I  should  be  to  have  you  sitting  at  my  bedside  this 
afternoon,  dear  M.,  that  I  might  tell  you  the  story  of  one  of  these 
pilgrims  who  pressed  onward  with  unusual  rapidity,  and  who  passed 
from  our  earnest  gaze  almost  four  years  since.  '  Holy,  Holy,  Holy,' 
were  the  word^  with  which  she  entered  the  presence  of  Him  whom 
she  loved  and  glorified. 

"  She  was  my  bosom  friend,  dear .      Perhaps  some  of 

my  letters  may  have  alluded  to  her  early  death,  but  they  could  not 
have  described  her  character.     Indeed,  if  I"  were  to  tell  you  of  her 

36* 


426  LETTERS.  [1849. 

almost  unearthly  beauty,  her  dignity  and  grace,  her  sweet  simplicity, 
her  reverence  for  age,  her  kindness  to  children  and  the  poor,  you 
might  suspect  that  the  spirit  of  romance  was  infused  into  my  descrip- 
tion. But,  dear  M.,  it  was  the  image  of  our  holy  Redeemer  which 
was  so  brightly  reflected  upon  her  character,  and  greatly  do  I  desire 
for  you  the  same  spiritual  beauty.  How  glad  should  I  be  to  learn 
that  you  do  earnestly  '  hunger  and  thirst  after  righteousness,'  that 
vou  are  searching  for  divine  knowledge  as  for  '  hid  treasures,'  turn- 
ing away  from  every  unprofitable  pursuit,  and  '  counting  all  things 
but  loss,  for  the  excellency  of  the  knowledge  of  Christ  Jesus.'  From 
your  early  childhood  this  is  the  blessing  I  have  desired  for  you,  even 
entire  consecration  to  the  service  of  the  Most  High. 

"  It  is  delightful,  indeed,  to  acquire  a  knowledge  of  ancient  and 
modern  tongues,  but  can  an  acquaintance  with  them  all  be  compara- 
ble to  the  blessedness  of  uniting  with  believers  of  all  ages  in  crying, 
<Abba,  Father'?  And  would  you  not  rather  'make  melody  in  your 
heart  to  the  Lord'  than  breathe  forth  notes  of  harmony,  or  tune  an 
instrument  of  sweetest  sound  't  The  treasures  of  the  earth  and  sea, 
and  the  wonders  of  the  celestial  world  present  so  many  attractions  to 
the  intellectual  taste,  that  the  student  can  scarcely  tell  from  which 
of  these  he  may  derive  the  greatest  enjoyment.  But  he  knows  also 
that  a  single  science  may  be  the  unexhausted  study  of  a  lifetime, 
and  that  much  learning  will  result  in  the  conviction  that  he  knows 
but  little.  Is  it  not  wise  then  to  '  &Gck  first  the  kingdom  of  God  and 
His  righteousness,'  and  to  cultivate  the  intellect  with  a  prayerful 
desire  to  consecrate  every  acquirement? 

"It  is  not  because  I  suppose  you  unmindful  of  the  highest  inte- 
rests of  our  existence  that  I  write  thus,  my  beloved  cousin,  but 
because  I  'covet'  for  you  'the  best  gifts.'  I  am  intensely  anxious 
to  learn  that  you  have  a  deeply  experimental  knowledge  of  the  truths 
of  revelation,  and  would  rejoice,  indeed,  if  you  were  to  tell  me  that 
the  Holy  Spirit  had  taught  you  something  of  the  depravity  of  your 
nature,  and  the  prpciousness  of  the  blood  of  the  Lamb. 

"  Oh  I  M.,  it  is  a  blessing  to  be  placed  in  any  position  in  which 
we  can  see  more  clearly  the  infinite  love,  the  entire  suitableness  of 
our  glorious  Redeemer;  and  I  am,  therefore,  truly  thankful  for  the 
suffering  and  deprivation  of  my  protracted  illness.  If  bereavement 
and  pain  had  not  been  my  portion,  I  could  never  have  known  so 
much  of  the  sympathy  of  our  great  High  Priest.  It  is  consoling, 
indeed,  to  experience  that  '  help  is  laid  upon  One  that  is  mighty,' 
that  we  can  take  'all  our  sins,  negligences  and  ignorances'  to  the 


1849.]  LETTERS.  427 

foot  of  the  Cross  and  lay  them  there,  all  our  sorrows  to  a  compas- 
sionate Friend  in  Heaven,  and  trust  the  untried  future  to  His  wise 
and  gracious  Providence. 

"  It  is  my  increasing  conviction  that  a  correct  appreciation  of  the 
simplicity  of  the  Gospel,  and  its  appropriateness  to  our  personal 
necessities,  is  the  only  secret  of  happiness.  An  abstract  theology 
does  not  meet  the  emergencies  of  such  poor  sinners  as  we.  Our 
only  refuge  from  the  coldness  of  a  speculative  religion,  the  delusions 
of  self-righteousness,  and  the  varied  superstitions  with  which  man 
has  endeavored  to  improve  the  plan  of  salvation,  is  a  simple  recep- 
tion of  Jesus  Christ,  '  who  of  God  is  made,  to  the  believer,  wisdom, 
righteousness,  sanctification  and  redemption.'  With  how  bold  a 
hand  has  Komanism  drawn  a  curtain  between  the  eye  of  faith  and 
the  Sun  of  Kighteousness  —  a  curtain  bestudded  with  lesser  lights, 
which  declare  not  the  glory  of  God  !  Let  us  ever  say  to  our  blessed 
Saviour,  '  With  Thee  is  the  fountain  of  life ;  in  Thy  light  shall  we 
see  light.'  May  it  be  your  privilege,  my  dear  cousin,  to  win  many 
immortal  beings  to  the  contemplation  of  his  unclouded  radiance. 

"  Whilst  you  delight  to  minister  to  the  temporal  requirements  of 
those  around  you,  lot  the  bread  of  life  and  the  robe  of  righteousness 
be  most  earnestly  commended  to  their  acceptance.  That  you  may 
ever  receive  rich  spiritual  blessings,  and  become  the  medium  through 
which  many  more  shall  be  conveyed  to  the  souls  of  your  fellow-beings, 
shall  be  the  ardent  prayer  of  your  very  affectionate  cousin." 

To  J.  H.  S. 

"Greenwood,  Sept.  17th,  1849. 
"  Very,  very  often,  dear  Howard,  has  my  heart  prompted  the  letter 
which  my  pen  could  not  execute.  In  my  prayers  I  have  remem- 
bered you  and  your  parish  with  no  ordinary  interest;  and  earnest  is 
my  trust  that  rich  spiritual  blessings  will  be  the  result  of  your 
labors.  How  encouraging  is  the  promise,  'My  word  shall  not  return 
unto  me  void.'  My  only  solicitude  for  you  is,  that  you  should  ever 
preach  that  word  with  simplicity,  and  be,  in  all  your  public  and 
private  life,  'a  living  epistle,  known  and  read  of  all  men.'  This  is 
not  too  much  to  ask  of  the  kind  Heavenly  Father,  whose  arm  of  love 
has  led  my  orphan  cousin,  through  so  many  dangers  and  temptations. 
to  the  solemn  office  which  so  much  increases  his  responsibility. 
'His  God  doth  guide  him  to  discretion,  and  doth  teach  hiui,'  is  an 
assurance  which  the  spiritual  husbandman  would  gladly  appropriate 
Oh,  that  your  whole  ministry  may  be  its  commentary  I     *     *     v 


428  L  E  T  T  E  E  s .  [1849. 

"  I  need  not  say  that  my  warmest  sympathies  were  given  you  both, 
when  I  learned  that  the  parsonage  had  become  a  house  of  mourning. 
This  was,  indeed,  an  event  upon  which  faith  alone  could  look  with 
any  degree  of  composure.  Dear  E.  speaks  with  gratitude  of  the  many 
circumstances  of  mercy  which  were  mingled  with  this  bereavement, 
and  I  trust  you  will  have  still  greater  cause  of  rejoicing.     *     *     * 

'*  I  thank  you  for  every  petition  you  offer  for  me.  '  The  peace 
which  passeth  all  understanding'  is  still  the  portion  of  your  ever 
affectionate  S.  A." 

To  a  Yoking  Man. 

"  Grkenwood,  Oct.  24,  1849. 

"  Years  have  passed  since  a  playful,  affectionate  boy  ran  so  often 
from  his  grandpapa's  house  to  assist  in  drawing  the  little  carriage  in 
which  his  invalid  friend  rode  around  our  beautiful  village;  but  he  is 
not  forgotten  by  that  friend.  Very  often  has  she  desired  to  give 
him  an  assurance  of  her  continued  interest,  but  she  is  not  always 
well  enough  to  attempt  a  letter,  and  can  only  then  accon)plish  her 
purpose  by  writing  very  carelessly  upon  a  slate,  and  requesting  some 
one  to  copy  her  effusions. 

"  My  carriage  is  no  longer  in  requisition,  dear  M.,  since  almost 
five  years  have  passed  since  I  have  been  carried  down  stairs;  but  I 
am  happy,  very  happy  in  my  pleasant  room.  The  Consolation  of 
Israel  is  my  ever-present  Friend.  I  therefore  am  not  weary  of  suf- 
f<3ring,  nor  do  I  desire  to  visit  the  green  woods  which  were  once  my 
favorite  resort. 

"Dear  M.,  my  heart  yearns  over  you  with  affectionate  solicitude. 
Are  you  yet  a  partaker  of  the  glorious  hopes  of  the  Gospel  ?  Has 
the  religious  instruction  you  have  received  from  early  childhood  been 
practically  applied  ?  Or  has  your  responsibility  alone,  and  not  your 
safety  and  happiness,  been  increased  by  the  '  line  upon  line,  precept 
upon  precept,'  which  have  been  given  you  ?  Oh  !  do  not  forget  that 
*  the  servant  which  knew  his  Lord's  will,  and  prepared  not  himself, 
neither  did  according  to  his  will,  shall  be  beaten  with  many  stripes.' 

"  Have  you  ever  deeply  realized  your  sinfulness,  my  dear  young 
friend  ?  Have  you  ever  come,  just  as  you  are,  to  the  Fountain  open 
for  sin  and  for  uncleanness  ?  I  do  earnestly  implore  you  to  go  to  a 
place  of  retirement,  and  pray  for  grace  to  make  an  unreserved  sur- 
render of  your  heart  to  God.  I  do  not  doubt  that  you  desire  and 
intend  to  tread  the  narrow  path,  but  how  many  young  persons  have 
entered  eternity  with  purposes  alone  !     Have  they  been  admitted 


1849.]  LETTERS.  429 

into  the  company  of  those  who  have  wholly  followed  the  Lord? 
Alas  !  alas  !  since  they  never  passed  the  line  which  divides  the  reci- 
pients of  salvation  from  those  who  hesitated  to  accept  the  offers  of 
mercy,  their  successful  adversary  draws  down  their  fettered  spirits 
still  more  closely  within  his  grasp,  and  there  they  remain  forever. 

"  It  may  be  that  the  Holy  Spirit  is  striving  with  your  young 
heart.  It  may  be  that  you  are  yielding  to  his  monitions.  If  this 
be  so,  dear  M.,  do  give  me  the  joyful  tidings,  that  I  may  be  very 
glad  and  pray  for  you  with  renewed  importunity.  And  even  if  you 
cannot  tell  me  this,  will  you  not  write  me  a  long  letter,  and  prove 
that  you  are  willing  to  make  the  friend  of  your  childhood  the  friend 
of  your  youth  ?  I  have  thought  of  you  with  peculiar  tenderness  since 
I  learned  that  your  studies  have  been  interrupted  by  physical  indis- 
position, and  that  you  are  not  permitted  to  enjoy  unrestricted  exer- 
cise. These  are  very  great  deprivations  for  one  so  youthful  and 
buoyant  as  you,  and  I  sympathize  with  you  most  sincerely;  but,  my 
beloved  boy,  I  believe  this  trial  is  a  voice  of  love  from  your  Father 
in  Heaven,  and  I  trust  you  will  listen  to  it  with  prayerful  attention. 
"Among  the  greatest  advantages  of  sickness  is  the  necessity  it 
involves  for  the  subjection  of  the  will :  first  to  Him  who  so  wisely 
administers  the  discipline  we  need,  and  then  to  the  directions  of 
physicians  and  the  precautions  of  kind  friends.  And  this  is  a  whole- 
some lesson;  for  self-indulgence  is  a  powerful  foe,  against  which  we 
must  urge  continual  warfare  if  we  would  be  happy  or  useful.  But 
how  are  we  to  relinquish  favorite  pursuits  and  cherished  plans  ?  how 
resist  the  temptation  to  irritability,  induced  by  our  unstrung  nervous 
system?  By  'looking  unto  Jesus,'  the  Almighty  Saviour,  who  not 
only  died  for  our  sins,  but  sympathizes  with  all  our  sorrows.  '  Such 
an  High  Priest  became  us,'  dear  M.,  and  blessed  are  they  who  have 
gone  to  Him  for  succor.  It  is  well  to  suffer,  that  we  may  be  thus 
comforted.  But  since  union  with  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  is  essential 
to  the  communion  which  is  so  soul-sustaining,  I  pray  that  my  dear 
young  friend  may  be  a  branch  of  the  'true  vine,'  and  bring  forth 
those  blessed  fruits  of  the  Spirit  which  fertilize  the  soul,  and  con- 
vince the  thoughtless  world  that  there  is  something  better  than  the 
weeds  of  earthly  pleasure.  It  may  be  your  privilege  to  do  much  for 
the  extension  of  the  Redeemer's  kingdom.  Let  your  affections  and 
energies  be  all  laid  upon  the  altar  of  the  Lord,  and  the  blood  of  the 
Lamb  will  purge  the  polluted  sacrifice.  Oh,  that  you  may  indeed 
be  accepted  in  the  Beloved  ! 


430  DEATH    OF    HER    SISTER.  [1849. 

"  Bereavement  has  been  the  portion  of  your  family  during  the 
past  year,  but  I  trust  its  absent  members  are  present  with  the  Lord, 
and  that  heavenly  healing  will  be  poured  into  every  wounded  heart. 

My  love  to .     I  learn  she  is  one  of  the  avowed  disciples  of  the 

Saviour,  and  desire  that  His  image  may  be  deeply  impressed  upon 
her  character." 


CHAPTER  XX. 

1849—1850. 

Death  of  her  Sister  —  Congeniality — Active  Usefulness  —  Support — - 
Sanctified  Grief — Letters  descriptive  of  her  Sister's  Character  —  To 
Rev.  Dr.  Fowles  —  To  Girls  in  the  House  of  Refuge  —  To  her  Pre- 
ceptor—  To  the  Mother  of  an  Afflicted  Child. 

Another  bitter  cup  was  now  presented  to  Miss  Allibone's 
lips ;  and  it  was  drunk  in  the  same  spirit  of  cheerful,  unmur- 
muring submission.  The  year  1849  bore  away  with  it  in  its 
flight  one  whom  she  likened  to  a  sunbeam  in  her  darkened 
room.  While  the  rude  November  blasts  were  stripping  the 
groves  of  their  rich  summer  garniture  and  withering  the 
autumnal  flowers,  there  suddenly  faded  and  passed  away  from 
earth  a  sister  to  whom  her  heart  clung  with  fondest  love,  for 
whose  salvation  some  of  her  earliest  prayers  were  offered,  and 
in  whose  assumption  of  the  hallowed  burden  of  Jesus'  cross 
she  had  so  greatly  rejoiced.  From  that  time  they  had  been 
indeed  one  in  Christ.  The  same  spirit  of  holiness  and  devo- 
tion, of  love  and  of  power  and  of  a  sound  mind  dwelt  in  both. 
In  their  views,  feelings  and  aims,  their  hopes,  consolations 
and  joys,   there  was  entire  sympathy.      Alike  ardent  and 


1849.]  ACTIVE    USEFULNESS.  431 

energetic  in  character,  and  equally  constrained  by  the  love 
of  Christ,  the  elder  sister's  desires  to  be  useful  were  not  im- 
peded, like  those  of  the  younger,  by  physical  infirmities  ;  and 
the  one  was  an  active  worker,  while  the  other  was  a  patient 
sufferer.  The  earthly  tie  was  broken,  not  as  might  have  been 
expected  by  the  summons  of  the  waiting  invalid  from  her 
couch  of  pain  to  her  mansion  above,  but  by  the  removal  of 
the  active  and  healthful  from  the  family  to  which  her  life  was 
so  precious,  and  from  the  labors  in  which  she  was  so  zealously 
engaged.  Scarcely  had  the  cloud  appeared  in  the  sky,  ere 
the  scathing  bolt  fell.  But  although  the  visitation  was  so 
sharp  and  sudden,  it  gave  but  another  evidence  of  the  reality 
of  those  divine  consolations  by  which  Susan  Allibone  was  so 
.  wonderfully  sustained.  The  sense  of  her  own  grievous  loss 
was  absorbed  in  the  confidence  that  to  her  departed  sister  "to 
die  was  gain."  Gratitude  and  praise  were  still  the  predomi- 
nant emotions  of  her  soul,  and  in  this  separation,  as  well  as  in 
her  own  closing  scene,  "death  was  swallowed  up  in  victory." 

Many  besides  the  members  of  her  own  immediate  fsimily 
mourned  the  loss  of  this  estimable  Christian  lady,  and  none 
had  more  cause  to  mourn  than  the  poor,  the  friendless  and 
the  inmates  of  public  benevolent  institutions,  to  whose  wel- 
fare her  time  and  efforts  were  ungrudgingly  given.  A  funeral 
discourse  was  delivered  by  her  pastor,  Rev.  Dr.  Fowles,  to  a 
deeply-affected  and  sympathizing  congregation,  from  Acts  ix. 
36 :  "  This  woman  was  full  of  good  works  and  alms-deeds 
which  she  did  ;"  in  which  he  paid  a  high  and  deserved  tribute 
to  her  memory. 

Of  the  bearing  of  Miss  Allibone,  under  the  immediate 
pressure  of  this  stunning  grief,  a  beautiful  pictm-e  is  given 
by  a  friend  in  the  obituary  sketch  to  which  reference  has 
been  previously  made  : — "  Upon  entering  the  house,  whither 
I  had  gone  to  take  leave  of  her,  I  was  informed  that  the 
family  were  in  deep  afiliction  in  consequence  of  the  very 
sudden  death,  the  night  before,  of  a  married  sister.     I  would 


432  SUPPORT.  [1849. 

immediately  ha-ve  retired,  but  the  servant  insisted  on  my 
waiting  while  she  informed  Miss  Susan  that  I  was  there.  In 
a  few  moments  she  sent  for  me.     She  greeted  me  with  her 

usual  cheerful  tones.     '  I  have  sent  for  you,  dear  Mrs.  E , 

that  I  might  tell  you  how  lovingly  and  tenderly  Jesus  com- 
forts me.  He  keeps  me  from  repining.  He  knew  what  was 
best  for  His  child,  and  has  called  her  to  be  with  him.  Surely 
I  ought  not  to  complain.  He  is  all  the  time  beside  me,  and 
he  keeps  me  from  fainting  beneath  a  blow  so  sudden.'  Then 
with  a  clear,  serene  voice  she  spoke  of  the  departed.  But  in 
every  tribute  paid  to  the  Christian  virtues  of  her  sister,  Jesus 
must  have  the  supreme  glory.  He  made  her  what  she  had 
been  —  the  eminently  pious  and  devoted  wife  and  mothei',  a 
ministering  angel  to  the  poor  and  sorrowing." 

In  the  Note-book  occurs  the  following  characteristic  re- 
mark : — 

'■^Nov.  l^tTi.  —  Susan  repeated,  'Lead  us  not  into  tempta- 
tion,' and  said,  'We  act  contrary  to  this  prayer  when  we 
dwell  upon  circumstances  that  will  harrow  the  feelings.'  '  It 
is  impossible,'  she  said,  'for  a  Christian  to  lose  a  Christian 
sister.'  " 

Her  own  Diary  contains  the  following  touching  allusions 
to  the  event : — 

'■'■Jan.  4ith,  1850.  —  And  now  what  shall  I  say  of  the  event 
which  has  occurred  since  I  last  wrote  in  this  little  book  ?  I 
have  now  a  sister  in  Heaven.  My  Father,  I  thank  Thee  for 
this.     I  have  one  less  on  earth.     Father,  Thy  will  be  done. 

"  On  Saturday,  the  10th  of  November,  I  received  a  very 
affectionate  note  from  dear  sister  Sarah,  accompanying  one 
of  her  many  proofs  of  affection.  I  was  very  grateful,  and 
such  an  overflowing  of  admiration  and  love  came  into  my 
heart  that  I  was  impelled  to  draw  this  book,  in  which  I  so 
seldom  write,  from  under  my  pillow,  and  express  my  appre- 
ciation of  what  she  was  in  herself  and  to  me, — but  I  did  not 


1849.]  LETTER    TO    REV.    MR.    FOWLES.  433 

indulge  the  impulse.  On  Sunday ;  — but  I  am  not  -syell  enough 
to  write  any  more. 

"  On  Satui'day  I  received  the  Communion.  The  last  time 
my  precious  sister  Sarah  was  with  me.  There  will  be  no 
going  out  from  the  marriage-supper  of  the  Lamb. 

"iVb?'.  5f7t,  1850.  —  To-morrow  will  have  completed  a  year 
since  my  precious  sister  Sarah  last  visited  my  room,  so  often 
cheered  by  her  presence.  She  was  overflowing  with  aflection, 
and  I  cannot  forget  her  beaming  expression  as  she  left  the 
room  with  some  roses  I  put  into  her  hand.  My  sister  !  my 
dear  sister ! 

^^Nov.  9th,  Saturday.  —  This  Saturday  afternoon,  a  year 
since,  I  pencilled  a  few  lines  of  love  and  gratitude  to  sister 
S.,  from  whom  I  had  received  a  note  that  morning.  The 
next  day,  Dr.  S.  came  to  inform  me  that  my  sister,  so  bright, 
so  vigorous  a  little  while  before,  had  almost  entered  the  world 
of  spirits. 

"JVov.  10th. — My  mind  is  full  of  reminiscences.  Although 
the  11th  will  be  the  real  anniversary  of  my  sister's  depar- 
ture, it  was  almost  at  this  moment,  a  year  since,  that  Dr.  S. 
came  to  prepare  me  for  the  tidings,  or  rather  to  tell  me  that 
he  could  feel  no  pulse  at  the  wrist  when  he  left  my  precious 
sister.  He  gave  this  intelligence  most  judiciously  ;  certainly 
with  better  wisdom  than  his  own ;  and  '  gracious  and  ready 
help'  was  vouchsafed  by  my  compassionate  Father,  who 
'knoweth  our  frame,  and  remembereth  that  we  are  dust.' 
'Even  so.  Father,'  was  the  response  of  my  spirit." 

To  Rev.  J.  H.  Fowles. 

"Nov.  16,  1849. 
"  The  letters  I  promised  you,  my  kind  and  valued  friend,  I  have 
been  unable  to  find,  and  regret  that  the  necessity  for  the  early  pre- 
paration of  your  sermon  will  prevent  the  accomplishment  of  a  very 
satisfactory  record  of  the  character  and  feelings  of  my  precious  sis- 
ter. We  bless  and  praise  our  Heavenly  Father  that  she  is  numbered 
among  the  '  saints  in  light ;'  and  lift  our  tearful  eyes  to  the  blessed 
Saviour  who  made  her  all  she  was.  That  He  may  be  glorified  will 
2c  37 


434  HER  sister's  character.  [1849. 

be  tbe  aim  of  your  discourse  ;  and  I  fervently  pray  that  He  may  give 
you  all  the  wisdom  you  desire. 

"The  date  of  her  baptism  was  March  9th,  1837.  She  was  con- 
firmed the  12th  day  of  the  same  month.  During  several  previous 
years  she  thought  deeply  of  her  eternal  interests,  and  was  very 
gradually  enabled  to  appropriate  the  offers  of  mercy  of  which  she  felt 
herself  so  much  in  need.  With  an  increasing  realization  of  the 
worth  of  her  own  soul,  came  a  very  solemn  sense  of  maternal  respon- 
sibility.    Her  Diary  expresses  this  feeling : 

"  '  Feb.  1837. — It  is  of  such  great  importance  to  impress  my  chil- 
dren's minds  with  every  incentive  to  love  and  serve  their  Creator 
"  in  the  days  of  their  youth."  '  In  reference  to  her  son  she  writes  : 
'May  he  indeed  become  that  which  I  most  ardently  desire!  I  ask 
not  for  him  nor  wish  the  honors,  nor  the  emoluments,  nor  distinc- 
tions of  the  world,  but  rather  that. he  may  become  an  humble  and 
faithful  disciple  of  our  Saviour  unto  his  life's  end.' 

"  The  submission  and  abundant  consolation  vouchsafed  to  a  friend, 
whose  two  only  children  were  gathered  almost  at  once  into  the  Good 
Shepherd's  fold,  taught  my  dear  sister  a  lesson  which  impressed  her 
whole  future  life.  She  writes  :  '  How  just,  how  exalted,  how  in- 
structive are  such  views !  and  how  above  all  things  desirable  the 
degree  of  faith  and  love  which  so  sustains  and  supports !  Grant  that 
I  may  possess  it  when  the  hour  of  trial  comes.'  Her  prayer  was 
answered,  when  such  a  mother  as  few  children  could  know  and  love 
was  taken  to  the  heavenly  world. 

"  The  truthfulness  of  her  spiritual  character  was  as  decided  as  the 
ingenuousness  of  her  earlier  life.  It  was  with  no  light  views  of  the 
vows  she  assumed,  that  she  publicly  confessed  the  Saviour.  She 
intended  to  renounce  the  world  and- its  vanities,  and  I  do  not  believe 
that  she  ever  since  has  entered  any  scene  in  which  the  disciple  of 
Jesus  ought  not  to  feel  at  home.  Her  love  for  literature  then  flowed 
through  a  consecrated  channel,  and  her  daily  pursuits  proved  that 
she  was  rapidly  hastening  on  in  the  journey  which  has  received  so 
blessed  a  termination. 

"It  is  very  interesting  to  trace,  as  her  Diary  progresses,  a  deepen- 
ing sense  of  sinfulness,  and  the  overflowings  of  joy  and  gratitude 
which  poured  from  her  full  heart,  as  our  Redeemer's  all-sufficiency 
was  revealed  to  her  view.  She  remarks  :  '  How  may  I  express  that 
deep  joy  which  none  have  ever  uttered?  May  every  energy  of  my 
nature  be  consecrated,  every  power  of  my  mind,  and  every  future  act 
of  my  life,  to  evince  my  enduring  gratitude  to  Thee,  our  Father  who 
art  in  Heaven.' 


1849.]  HER   sister's  character.  435 

"  In  speaking  of  the  salvation  she  had  been  enabled  to  accept,  she 
says :  '  Oh  !  thanks  that  it  came  ere  the  dark  hour  of  death  drew 
near,  uncheered  by  His  pardoning  love.' 

"  The  Bible  was  indeed  searched  as  for  hid  treasure,  and  the  2d 
of  Ephesians  was  appropriated  as  a  message  of  especial  mercy.  She 
thus  comments  upon  it :  *  Truly,  God's  Word  is  a  silent  mystery, 
until  He  enlightens  our  minds  to  receive  its  deep  and  spiritual 
meaning.' 

'■'  The  Lord's  Supper  was  received,  for  the  first  time,  with  the  feelings 
she  expresses  in  the  following  words  :  '  Thanks  be  to  my  Heavenly  Fa- 
ther, who  hath  granted  me  this  unspeakable  blessing  also.  I  have  been 
permitted  to  commemorate  His  dying  love,  His  adorable  mercy.  I 
have  done  this  in  remembrance  of  Him — Jesus,  our  ascended  Lord, 
our  Intercessor,  our  Redeemer.  I  cannot  express  the  emotions  it 
excited.  Such  a  deep  sense  of  contrition  for  sin  against  God,  of  His 
amazing  condescension  and  mercy  in  permitting  one  so  long  rebellious 
against  Him,  so  long  neglectful  of  the  strivings  of  mercy,  to  be 
brought  into  fellowship  with  the  children  of  God ;  to  feel  faith  and 
trusting  confidence ;  to  believe  that  Pie  would  receive  even  me,  the 
most  unworthy,  and  grant  me  strength  to  walk  acceptably  before 
Him ;  to  contemplate  His  sufiferings  upon  the  cross  for  my  redemp- 
tion 1' 

"She  remarks,  of  the  privileges  of  the  sanctuary:  'It  is  not  for 
the  workmen  who  labor  that  I  go,  or  I  might  feel  disappointed ;  but 
for  sweet  communion  with  the  Master  of  Assemblies;  and  I  believe 
I  can  truly  say,  there  has  not  been  one  occasion  when  I  have  not 
been  sensible  of  an  accession  of  spiritual  strength  and  enjoyment.' 

"  These  extracts  may  not  greatly  assist  the  preparation  of  your 
sermon,  dear  sir,  but  will  interest  you  as  indications  of  her  early 
religious  character.  These  buds  of  piety  have  ripened  into  bright 
flowers  and  rich  fruit ;  but  I  have  not  time  nor  ability  to  gather 
them,  and  place  them  in  your  hand.  If  I  could  do  so,  I  know  you 
would  lay  them  all  at  the  foot  of  the  Cross  :  you  would  restore  them 
to  Him  from  whom  they  were  received."     *     *     * 

To  (he  Girls  in  the  House  of  Refuge. 

"Nov.,  1849. 
"  If  it  were  possible,  I  would  be  willing  to  be  myself  the  bearer 
of  the  intelligence  which  will  give  so  much  pain  to  the  young  per- 
sons who  were  the  objects  of  my  departed  sister's  deep  solicitude.     I 
would  tell  you,  that  although  her  bright  eye  looks  upon  you  no 


436  LETTER    TO    GIRLS    AT  [1849. 

longer,  and  you  cannot  hear  her  voice,  the  great  God  who  made  you 
is  speaking  to  each  one  of  you  by  this  bereavement,  and  saying,  'Be 
ye  therefore  ready  also/ 

"  During  the  silent  hours  of  last  night  I  recalled  the  earnestness 
with  which  your  friend  often  asked  me  to  pray  for  you.  I  remem- 
bered her  determination,  that  neither  unfavorable  weather,  weariness, 
nor  the  many  interruptions  to  which  she  was  subjected,  should  inter- 
fere with  the  discharge  of  her  duty  towards  you,  and  my  heart 
prompted  a  letter  of  earnest  and  aifectionate  exhortation,  that  you 
will  not  render  it  needful  that  she  be  a  witness  against  you  at  the 
great  day  when  you  will  stand  together  at  the  judgment-seat  of 
Christ. 

"  What  my  sister  has  told  you  of  the  preciousness  of  our  Redeemer, 
her  living  and  dying  experience  has  confirmed.  Even  in  the  hour 
of  health,  she  felt  that  to  depart  and  be  with  Christ  is  '■far  better f 
and  she  received  a  very  sudden  summons,  with  an  unshaken  depen- 
dence upon  His  merits.  It  was  because  He  had  died  for  her,  that 
she  was  saved  from  the  second  death.  It  was  because  He  had  ful- 
filled all  the  requirements  of  a  holy  law,  and  become  her  righteous- 
ness, that  she  did  not  fear  to  enter  the  presence  of  '  the  High  and 
Holy  One  who  inhabiteth  eternity.' 

''  My  young  friends,  have  any  of  you  such  a  hope  ?  '  This  is  a 
faithful  saying,  and  worthy  of  all  acceptation,  that  Christ  Jesus  came 
into  the  world  to  save  sinners.'  It  was  to  recommend  this  Saviour 
that  my  sister  visited  you  so  often.  She  was  interested  in  your  tem- 
poral welfare,  and  greatly  pleased  with  every  enjoyment  which  was 
provided  for  you.  She  wished  to  win  you  with  kindness,  to  encou- 
rage your  every  endeavor  to  do  right ;  but  it  was  the  aim  of  all  her 
efforts  that  you  should  deeply  realize  your  sinfulness,  and  seek  par- 
doning and  renewing  grace  through  the  blood  of  the  Lamb  and  the 
influences  of  the  Holy  Spirit.  She  believed  the  testimony  of  Scrip- 
ture, '  the  heart  is  deceitful  above  all  things,  and  desperately  wicked/ 
and  was  not  willing  that  you  should  depend  for  one  moment  upon 
your  own  ability  to  reform  your  lives,  for  she  knew  that  in  yourselves 
you  can  do  nothing.  But  you  well  remember  the  fjxithfulness  with 
which  you  were  reminded  of  your  need,  that  you  might  more  fully 
appreciate  and  apply  the  remedy  which  the  Gospel  has  provided  for 
our  helpless  and  guilty  race,  for  '  we  have  all  sinned  and  come  short 
of  the  glory  of  God.' 

"  Oh  !  my  young  friends,  will  you  not  accept  this  Saviour  who 
loved  you  so  much  that  He  died  for  your  sins  ?     And  will  you  not 


1849.]  THE    HOUSE    OF    REFUGE.  437 

accept  Him  now?     Will  j'ou  not^  whilst  you  listen  to  this  letter,  say 
in  His  strength, 

'  And  lo  !  I  come,  and  Thou,  blest  Lamb, 
Shalt  take  me  to  Thee  as  I  am  ; 
Nothinf;  but  sin  I  Thee  can  give, 
Nothing  but  grace  can  I  receive.' 

"  And  will  you  not  take  the  earliest  opportunity  of  seeking  a  place 
of  retirement,  and  there  again  cast  yourselves  upon  the  mercy  of 
God  in  Christ  Jesus?  Will  you  not  pray  that  the  Holy  Spirit  may 
shine  upon  your  souls  and  your  past  lives,  making  manifest  all  your 
corruptions,  all  your  transgressions,  and  pointing  you  also  to  the 
*  fountain  open  for  sin  and  for  uacleanness,'  to  Him  who  is  the  prin- 
ciple and  pattern  of  holiness  ? 

"  Our  Saviour  is  a  gentle  and  patient  teacher.  Study  His  charac- 
ter with  prayerful  attention.  Do  any  of  you  fear  that  you  are  too 
sinful  to  be  received  by  Him  ?  '  He  is  able  to  save  to  the  uttermost 
all  that  come  unto  God  by  Him.'  Do  none  of  you  feel  sorrowful 
and  desolate?  Oh,  then  remember  that  Jesus  has  not  only  'borne 
our  sins,'  but  'carried  our  sorrows.'  Bring  every  painful  recollec- 
tion, every  emotion  of  sadness  to  Him,  for  no  earthly  friend  is  so 
full  of  tender  sympathy. 

"  I  shall  never  forget  a  visit  to  your  institution  many  years  since, 
when  the  girls,  who  were  then  receiving  instruction,  were  asked  to 
sing  the  orphan's  hymn.  Some  of  them  wept,  and  although  I  did 
not  at  that  time  understand  the  full  meaning  of  the  word,  I  always 
pitied  the  parentless,  and  my  heart  yearned  over  those  poor  girls  with 
feelings  I  shall  never  forget.  It  may  be  that  some  of  you  have  pa- 
rents who  have  never  sought  to  lead  you  to  the  Saviour,  but  you 
must  not,  therefore,  stay  away  from  Him,  but  come  now  and  ask 
Him  to  pardon  them  also.  Or,  it  may  be  that  a  pious  mother's 
dying  counsels  have  fallen  upon  the  ear,  but  entered  not  the  heart, 
of  some  young  being  in  your  midst.  But  it  is  not  impossible  that 
there  are  those  among  you  whose  fathers  and  mothers  are  still  upon 
the  earth,  with  almost  broken  hearts,  because  you,  their  beloved  chil- 
dren, are  so  far  from  God.  It  is  not  yet  too  late  to  comfort  their 
remaining  hours,  and  receive  their  parting  blessing. 

"  Have  you  ever  found  true  pleasure  in  sin  ?  There  is  more  hap- 
piness in  one  hour  of  communion  with  our  Heavenly  Father  than 
even  the  best  and  purest  enjoyments  earth  can  afford.  'Oh,  taste 
and  see  that  the  Lord  is  gracious.'     His  presence  is  the  brightest 

37* 


438  TO    HER    PRECEPTOR.  [1849. 

light  of  prosperity,  and  in  the  hour  of  sickness  and  sorrow  He  proves 
Himself  to  be  a  God  of  love. 

"  That  He  may  be  your  portion,  now  and  for  ever,  prays  your 
friend,  ^-  ■'^• 

To  Mr.  a 

"Hamilton,  Nov.  29,  1849. 

"  If  I  could  have  anticipated  the  many  impediments  which  have 
compelled  me  to  thus  long  deny  myself  the  pleasure  of  answering 
your  welcome  letter,  my  dear  Mr.  C,  I  should  have  requested  one 
of  my  sisters  to  become  my  amanuensis,  instead  of  waiting  until  I 
could  combine  ability  and  opportunity  for  the  pencilship  of  a  letter, 
for  this,  you  know,  is  all  I  am  able  at  any  time  to  undertake.  I 
should  love  to  write  to  you  very  often  if  I  were  well  enough,  and  to 
receive  frequent  letters  from  a  friend  towards  whom  the  reverence 
of  a  pupil  has  ever  been  mingled  with  confiding  aifection. 

"  It  is  possible  you  may  not  yet  be  aware  of  the  new  demand 
which  will  elicit,  in  a  still  greater  degree,  the  sympathy  you  have 
ever  been  ready  to  accord.  You  may  not  have  received  the  intelli- 
gence, that  I,  who  have  been  so  long  waiting  upon  the  bank  of  tbe 
river  of  death  for  a  dismissal  from  the  scenes  of  earth,  have  been  re- 
quired to  linger  here,  whilst  one  of  the  most  vigorous  and  beloved 
members  of  our  family  has  passed  over  before  me.  '  Even  so.  Father, 
for  so  it  seemeth  good  in  Thy  sight.'  Dear  sister  S.  has  been  the 
recipient  of  this  blessedness.  On  Sunday,  the  11th  of  this  month, 
she  was  suddenly  called  to  the  Heavenly  Home  which,  for  years 
past,  has  been  'the  haven  where  she  would  be.'  Although  for 
several  weeks  she  had  suffered  attacks  of  severe  pain,  she  was  well 
enough  to  visit  us  on  the  Tuesday  which  preceded  her  departure. 
On  Saturday  evening  she  became  so  ill  that  three  physicians  were 
called  to  her  aid.  She  soon  realized  the  probable  result  of  such  in- 
tense suffering,  and  expressed  an  unclouded  assurance  of  eternal  hap- 
piness through  the  merits  of  our  Redeemer.  She  repeated  the  text, 
*  I  know  in  whom  I  have  believed,'  and  remarked,  '  all  is  peace,  per- 
fect peace.'  She  said,  in  reference  to  me,  *I  want  to  see  her  very 
much,  but  I  shall  be  there  to  welcome  her.'  At  half-past  three,  my 
precious  sister  became  insensible,  and  manifested  few  indications  of 
consciousness  until  about  ten  minutes  after  twelve,  when  another 
glorified  spirit  was  numbered  among  the  heavenly  host.  It  is  better 
that  we  reflect  upon  her  happiness  than  our  bereavement,  and  it  is 
better  still  that  we  should  adore  and  love  the  wise  and  holy  Being 
who  has  spoken  to  us  so  loudly  by  this  dispensation  of  His  Providence 


1849.]  LETTERS.  439 

May  he  vouchsafe  us  grace  to  listen  with  attentive  ear,  and  to  press 
with  rapid  step  toward  the  better  country.  You  see  how  appropriate 
was  the  subject  of  your  letter.  'I  have  chosen  thee  in  the  furnace 
of  affliction'  is  to  me  a  very  precious  promise.  I  am  thankful,  very 
thankful,  to  be  chosen  even  there,  and  although  I  grieve  that  so 
much  discipline  is  requisite,  I  rejoice  that  the  process  will  not  be 
left  incomplete.  In  '  looking  unto  Jesus,  the  Author  and  Finisher 
of  our  faith,'  my  spirit  is  refreshed,  my  hopes  confirmed,  and  I  am 
enabled  to  unite  in  the  testimony,  '  we  glory  in  tribulation  also.' 
And  yet  this  unexpected  sorrow  has  caused  many  tears  to  flow.  To 
the  children  of  this  world,  the  expression,  '  sorrowing,  yet  always 
rejoicing,'  is  paradoxical.  Is  it  not  an  unspeakable  mercy  that  we 
receive  not  only  pardon,  but  so  much  peace  from  the  Almighty  Friend 
against  whom  we  have  so  greatly  sinned  ?  *  He  that  spared  not  His 
own  Son,  but  delivered  Him  up  for  us  all,  how  shall  He  not  with 
Him  also  freely  give  us  all  things  V  I  feel  that  all  my  hopes  of 
future  happiness  are  secured  to  me  by  the  sacrifice  ofiered  upon  Cal- 
vary for  the  sins  of  the  world. 

*  My  soul  looks  back  to  see 

The  burthen  thou  didst  bear, 
While  hanging  on  the  accursed  tree, 
And  hopes  her  guilt  was  there.'  " 


To  Mrs.  C.  S.  0. 

"Dec.  12,  1849. 
"Blessed  be  God,  even  the  Father  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  the 
Father  of  mercies  and  the  God  of  all  comfort,  who  comforteth  us  in 
all  our  tribulation,  that  we  may  be  able  to  comfort  them  which  are 
in  any  trouble  by  the  comfort  wherewith  we  ourselves  are  comforted 
of  God.  I  hear  of  the  mysterious  dealings  of  Providence ;  but  I  see  no 
mystery,  no  darkness  in  an  event  for  which  our  Redeemer  prayed,  *  Fa- 
ther, I  will  that  they  also  whom  Thou  hast  given  me  be  with  me  where 
I  am ;  that  they  may  behold  my  glory  which  Thou  hast  given  me  : 
for  Thou  lovedst  me  before  the  foundation  of  the  world.'  Thy  letter 
suited  me  well.  I  do  indeed  love  my  sister  well  enough  to  be  glad 
she  has  gone  to  Heaven.  And  I  rejoice,  too,  that  my  Father's  will 
is  done  —  His  holy,  blessed  will.  I  cannot  hope  to  convey  any 
adequate  idea  of  the  intense  sympathy  I  feel  for  thee,  my  more  than 


440  SANCTIFIED     SORROTV.  [1849. 

ever  precious .     Earnest  was  my  desire  to  write  to  tbeo,  a  few 

days  after  my  sister  became  au  inhabitant  of  the  world  of  glory, 
but  ray  wish  could  not  then  be  gratified,  and  thy  letter  preceded 
mine. 

"  Dear ,  let  thy  lacerated  heart  be  widely  opened  to  receive  the 

indwelling  of  the  '  Consolation  of  Israel,'  the  Sanctifier  of  the  faith- 
ful. The  Heavenly  Physician  has  precious  balms  for  sorrows  such 
as  thine.  Thee  has  long  since  tested  their  healing  power,  and  I 
trust  they  will  be  given  thee  more  and  more  freely.  The  great 
Husbandman  is  purging  us,  also,  that  we  may  bring  forth  more 
fruit.  May  the- desire  we  feel  that  so  great  a  bereavement  may  be 
productive  of  rich  spiritual  results,  be  an  earnest  that  we  shall  not 
suffer  in  vain.  That  the  Lord  '  doth  not  willingly  afflict  nor  grieve 
the  children  of  men,'  is  an  often  quoted,  but  ever  welcome  declara- 
tion of  the  V/ord  of  God.     Dear ,  pray  even  more  than  thee 

ever  has  done,  that  our  Saviour's  image  may  be  deeply  impressed 
upon  my  sinful  heart.  It  is  a  very  solemn  thought  that  afflictions 
are  not  in  themselves  productive  of  profit.  The  Holy  Spirit  must 
apply  the  lesson,  or  we  shall  not  learn  it;  and  I  earnestly  pray  that 
the  spirit  of  grace  and  supplication  may  be  poured  upon  us  all,  for 
ourselves  and  for  each  other,  that  every  plant  which  our  Heavenly 
Father  hath  not  planted  may  be  rooted  from  our  hearts,  and  that 
the  peaceable  fruits  of  righteousness  may  be  a  plentiful  increase. 
'Look  upon  the  face  of  thine  anointed,'  has  often  been  my  petition, 

when  I  have  asked  blessings  for  my  family.     Oh  !  ,  I  do  hope 

none  of  us  will  be  excluded  from  the  promised  land.  The  sanctifi- 
cation  of  my  Christian  friends  has  often  been  to  me  a  source  of 
deeper  solicitude  than  the  conversion  of  the  unreconciled.  There 
seems  to  be  such  a  disposition  to  fcwget  that  '  strait  is  the  gate  and 
narrow  is  the  way  that  leadeth  unto  life' — so  much  concession  to  the 
principles  of  unrenewed  nature,  rather  than  a  desire  to  be  as  con- 
centrated as  possible  in  the  service  of  God.  But  how  can  I  wonder 
at  all  this,  when  I  remember  that  I,  who  have  been  sheltered  from 
so  many  temptations,  am  not  more  consecrated  in  spirit.  I  am  so 
glad  we  can  turn  away  from  ourselves,  and  all  around  us,  to  Him 
'who  is  holy,  harmless,  undefiled  and  separate  from  sinners;'  'I 
shall  be  satisfied  when  I  awake  with  thy  likeness.' " 


1849.]  COUNSELS    TO    A    MOTHER.  441 

To  a  Friend. 

"  Gkeenwood,  Dec.  IG,  1849. 
'  I  commenced  a  letter  to  you  last  spring,  dear ,  but  post- 
poned its  completion,  that  I  might  address  an  expression  of  sym- 
pathy to  another  bereaved  mother;  and,  soon  after,  I  became  so  ill, 
that  it  seemed  probable  that  my  intercourse  with  earthly  friends 
would  be  exchanged  for  the  blessedness  which  is  in  reserve  for 
every  sinner  who  is  washed  in  the  blood  of  the  Lamb. 

'  My  Father,  I  deemed  Thou  had'st  called  me  to  dwell 

In  the  rest  Thou  hast  for  me  above, 
But  I  find  myself  still  in  the  flesh, 
It  is  well  if  I  go  ;  if  I  stay,  it  is  love. 

'Love  ordered  the  plan,  and  in  love  such  as  Thine, 
IIow  shall  I  not  calmly  confide, 
Who  spared  not  to  save  me  an  ofi"ering  divine  — 
The  Lamb  who  on  Calvary  died.' 

''  It  is  this  love,  my  dear ,  which  sustains  my  spirit,  now  that 

my  precious  sister,  who  gave  me  almost  maternal  affection,  and  for 
whom  my  warm  attachment  was  growing  deeper  and  stronger,  comes 
no  more  into  my  chamber  to  gladden  me  with  offices  of  love.  But  she 
has  gone  just  where  I  would  have  her  be,  and  thanksgivings  are 
mingled  with  my  tears.  We  appreciate  the  sympathy  you  so  appro- 
priately express  in  the  letter  sister  M.  has  received  this  evening; 
the  letter  which  induces  me  to  ask  for  a  slate  and  pencil  that  I  may 
tell  you  some  of  the  thoughts  which  come  into  my  heart. 

"  I  have  ever  been  sinful  and  unworthy,  yet  my  Saviour  has  dealt 
gently  with  me,  and  as  His  disciple,  I  must  lovingly  persuade  you 
to  sit  at  His  feet,  and  learn  from  Him  better  lessons  than  the  world 
and  your  heart  can  teach  you.  Oh,  cast  aside  the  weapons  of  re- 
bellion; they  are  wounding  your  own  soul.  Humble  yourself  in  the 
sight  of  the  Lord,  and  He  shall  lift  you  up.  You  '  labor  and  are 
heavy  laden.'  '  Come  unto  Me,  and  I  will  give  you  rest,'  is  the 
invitation  of  Him  who  died  to  save  you.  Will  you  resolutely  refuse 
to  accept  it  ?  Will  you  go  down  into  eternity  unpardoned  and  un- 
consoled,  wnen  you  know  there  is  '  balm  in  Gilead,  and  a  Physician 
there'  ?  And  will  you  endeavor  to  occupy  the  attention  of  your 
sick  ctild  with  the  pursuits  of  a  world,  from  which  you  fear  she  may 
be  removed  before  you?     Is  this  a  mother's  love  ?    Beware,  beware, 

dear ,  that  you  grieve  not  the  Holy  Spirit  of  God.     You  must 

stand  at  the  judgment-seat  of  Christ  with  those  dear  children.     Let 


442  CORDIAL    FOR    AN    INVALID.  [1849. 

them  bless  you  as  the  friend  of  their  souls,  their  guide  to  the  Cross 

of  Jesus.     And  if  only  the  temporal  comfort  of  our  dear were 

consulted,  believe  me,  my  beloved ,  when  I  tell  you,  that  no 

cordial  is  so  reviving  to  the  exhausted  spirits  and  unstrung  nerves 
of  an  invalid  as  religion,  which  brings  repentance,  faith,  peace,  love 
and  cheerful  submission  to  the  will  of  the  Most  High. 

"  I  make  this  assertion  with  confidence.  Two  physicians "  have 
expressed  the  opinion  that  the  prolongation  of  my  life  is  to  be  in  a 
great  measure  ascribed  to  the  tranquillity  of  spirit  which  I  have 
alone  derived  from  the  hopes  of  the  Gospel ;  not  from  any  powers 
of  endurance  which  I  possess,  not  as  a  reward  for  obedience,  but  as 
a  free  gift  of  grace. 

"  I  saw  little  of  dear ,  but  my  heart  yearned  over  her  with 

inexpressible  tenderness.  Could  her  fluttering  heart  be  calmed  to 
silence  by  the  laughter  of  the  merry  ?  No ;  the  poor  child  must 
come  to  my  Saviour,  and  His  gentle  voice  will  be  music  to  her  soul. 

"  My  dear ,  it  is  my  affectionate  and  earnest  request  that  you 

will  now  go  to  the  solitude  of  your  chamber,  and  kneel  down  before 
God  to  ask  His  guidance.  I  would  not  make  your  poor  child 
gloomy.  I  would  spend  nights  and  days  in  ministering  to  her  com- 
fort, if  it  were  possible ;  but  I  would  tenderly  remind  her,  that 
'except  a  man  be  born  again,  he  cannot  see  the  kingdom  of  God,' 
and  urge  her  to  seek  at  once  the  safety  and  happiness  which  her 
Heavenly  Father  is  so  willing  to  give  her,  if  she  will  but  come 
through  Him  who  is  '  the  way,  the  truth  and  the  life.'  "     *     *     * 


CHAPTER   XXI 

1850. 

Letter  to  a  Bereaved  Mother  in  Ireland — Persuasive  Letter  to  a  Youth. 
—  Letters  to  Dr.  N. —  To  a  Relative  —  Intercourse  with  the  Young  — 
Unitarian  Views  —  Letter  on  the  subject  to  R.  S.  —  Dr.  Channing  — 
Arianism  —  Letters  of  Friendship  and  Condolence. 

To  a  Bereaved  3Iother. 

"January,  1850. 

"  There  is  certainly  no  earthly  tie  so  strong  as  that  which  unites 
the  hearts  of  parents  and  children,  and  I  do  not  doubt  you  have 
realized  the  strength  of  this  attachment  more  than  ever  since  your 
daughter  has  left  the  home  of  her  childhood  for  a  land  of  strangers. 
How  often  have  your  thoughts  followed  her  as  she  has  crossed  the 
ocean,  and  how  earnestly  have  you  desired  to  hear  of  her  safe  arrival ! 
It  must  have  been  very  painful  to  have  received  the  tidings  of  her 
dangerous  illness,  and  you  are  of  course  awaiting  further  intelligence 
with  intense  anxiety. 

"  It  is  a  new  friend  who  writes  you  this  letter  —  the  sick  lady  who 
has  been  so  long  carefully  nursed  by  your  cousin  Sarah,  and  who 
makes  the  earnest  request  that  you  will  lift  up  your  hearts  in  prayer, 
that  God  will  give  you  strength  to  bear  the  sad  news  she  is  so  sorry 
to  communicate.  '  Thy  will  be  done/  should  always  be  the  language 
of  a  Christian's  heart,  and  I  pray  that  you  may  be  enabled  to  cast 
this  heavy  weight  upon  those  everlasting  arms  which  are  alone  strong 
enough  to  support  it.  When  I  tell  you  that  your  child  has  passed 
away  from  earth,  my  heart  is  cheered  by  the  hope  that  she  is  gone 
to  that  '  land  where  the  inhabitant  shall  never  say,  I  am  sick,'  and 
where  every  tear  is  wiped  away.  This  is  the  blessedness  of  all  who 
have  been  washed  in  the  blood  of  the  Lamb,  and  I  trust  your  beloved 
Margaret  was  thus  prepared  for  Heaven.  Surely  it  is  better  to  be 
with  Jesus  than  to  dwell  upon  this  sinful  earth ;  and  when  you  feci 
disposed  to  regret  that  you  permitted  your  daughter  to  leave  her 
home,  remember  that  all  events  are  under  the  control  of  a  wise  and 

(443) 


444  LETTERS.  [1850. 

holy  Being,  who  uses  second  onuses  to  promote  His  own  designs. 
You  would  have  gladly  ivt;iined  your  child  to  watch  over  your  de- 
clininii  years,  but  you  submitted  to  the  sacrifice  of  her  society  because 
the  necessities  of  your  family  required  her  assistance.  Do  not,  there- 
fore, reflect  upon  yourselves ;  but  ask  our  Heavenly  Father  to  sanc- 
tify this  great  sorrow,  and  to  make  it  the  means  of  preparing  the 
remaining  members  of  your  family  for  a  better  world.  Are  any  of 
them  unreconciled  to  God  ?  Let  them  remember  that  this  is  a  solemn 
message  to  them  :  'Be  ye  also  ready,  for  in  such  an  hour  as  ye  think 
not,  the  Son  of  Man  cometh.'     *     *     * 

"  I  shall  not  forget  to  pray  that  God  will  give  you  grace  to  glorify 
Him  by  entire  submission  to  His  will.  I  do  most  sincerely  sympa- 
thize with  you  in  this  great  bereavement,  and  rejoice  that  we  have 
a  compassionate  Saviour  who  loves  to  comfort  the  mourner.  Go  to 
Him  with  all  your  sorrows.  Turn  your  thoughts  to  prayers.  *  Call 
upon  Me  in  the  day  of  trouble ;  I  will  deliver  thee,  and  thou  shalt 
glorify  me,'  is  a  most  consoling  promise.  If  it  were  not  for  afflic- 
tions, we  could  not  understand  the  meaning  and  value  of  the  gracious 
assurances  which  our  Heavenly  Father  has  given  us.  I  cannot  tell 
you  how  precious  they  have  been  to  me  in  the  hour  of  sickness  and 
sorrow."     *     *     * 

To  a  Young  Friend. 

•*  February  1st,  1850. 

"I  have  loved  your  family  so  long  and  so  well,  dear  H.,  that  I 
am  fully  prepared  to  share  your  joys  and  sorrows;  and  very  earnest 
has  been  my  desire  to  convey  to  your  father  and  mother  an  expres- 
sion of  many  affectionate  thoughts  which  have  filled  my  heart  since 
their  recent  bereavement.  But,  "my  young  friend,  it  is  for  you  that 
I  am  chiefly  solicitous  :  your  conversion  is  the  result  I  anticipate  from 
this  painful  dispensation  of  Providence. 

"  When  you  were  very  young,  a  sweet  little  sister,  with  her  beau- 
tiful dark  eyes  and  clustering  locks,  was  the  companion  of  your 
studies  and  your  plays,  but  the  Friend  of  children  withdrew  this 
little  one  from  your  family  circle,  that  He  might  enfold  her  more 
closely  under  the  shadow  of  His  wing.  He  loved  you  too,  dear  H., 
though  He  left  you  longer  upon  the  earth,  and  I  wish  you  had  gone 
to  Him  with  your  childish  sorrow,  and  asked  Him  to  be  your  guide 
through  the  pilgrimage  of  life.  How  many  blessed  lessons  you 
might  have  already  learned !  How  much  restraining  grace  would 
have  been  vouchsafed  you,  and  how  many  hours  of  communion  with 


1850.]      PERSUASIVE    LETTER    TO    A    YOUTH.  445 

God  would  then  have  been  your  privilege  !  Oh  !  H.,  you  have  some- 
times realized  your  need  of  the  blessing  of  God.  His  Spirit  has 
often  striven  with  your  young  heart ;  but  you  have  not  heeded  the 
gentle  monitions,  and  now  lie  has  spoken  in  a  loud  voice  of  warning. 

'^  I  am  thankful  it  was  not  you,  dear  H.,  whom  the  Angel  of 
Death  was  commissioned  to  remove  from  earth;  but  who  can  tell 
what  his  next  errand  maybe  ?  Are  you  prepared  for  a  sudden  sum- 
mons to  the  eternal  world  ?  Is  your  theoretical  acquaintance  with 
the  sinfulness  of  your  nature  accompanied  by  a  painful  realization  of 
the  burthen  you  bear  ?  Are  you  willing  to  investigate  your  spiritual 
condition,  or  do  you  endeavor  to  quiet  the  tumult  of  a  sometimes 
awakened  conscience  by  increased  attention  to  the  passing  scenes  of 
time  ?  And  if  your  years  be  many,  will  it  still  be  thus  ?  Will  you 
increase  your  sources  of  worldly  enjoyment,  add  to  your  intellectual 
stores,  strive  to  rise  higher  and  higher  in  human  estimation,  and  yet 
be  unfurnished  for  the  world  to  come?  And  will  you  go  down  into 
eternity  under  the  heavy  pressure  of  the  wrath  of  the  Lamb,  to  sur- 
vey your  lost  estate  in  the  full  light  of  the  religious  instruction  by 
which  your  responsibility  is  so  much  increased  ? 

"  The  immediate  surrender  of  your  heart  to  God  will  secure  a 
bright  contrast  to  this  mournful  picture.  'I  love  them  that  love  me, 
and  those  that  seek  me  early  shall  find  me,'  is  a  promise,  of  which  I 
hope  you  will  soon  testify  the  truth.  '  The  Word  of  the  Lord  is 
tried,'  and  this  experience  will  be  but  the  prelude  of  a  lifetime  of 
rich  discoveries  of  the  treasures  of  grace,  and  an  eternity  of  progres- 
sion in  wisdom  and  happiness.  Dear  H.,  can  you  refuse  this  offered 
felicity?     Will  you  incur  the  fearful  risk  of  delay? 

"  It  is  not  needful  to  expound  to  you  the  principles  of  our  faith, 
but  it  is  very  requisite  to  urge  upon  you  to  pray  earnestly  that  you 
may  be  able  to  appreciate  and  accept  the  gift  of  redemption.  'Be- 
lieve on  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  and  thou  shalt  be  saved,'  is  a  requi- 
sition so  simple  that  our  proud  nature  would  make  an  addition  to  its 
terms;  and  it  maybe  that  you  hesitate  to  'come  boldly  to  the  throne 
of  grace/  until  you  can  present  an  offering  of  love  and  obedience,  or 
at  least  some  adequate  measure  of  contrition  for  sin.  Oh,  go  to  our 
blessed  Saviour  as  you  are,  my  dear  young  friend  !  Do  not  wait  to 
feel  more  deeply  or  to  become  better.  All  you  require  you  will  find 
at  the  foot  of  the  cross,  and  there  only.  'Behold  the  Lamb  of  God 
which  taketh  away  the  sin  of  the  world.'  Beceive  Him  into  your 
heart,  who  is  'all  in  all,'  and  you  will  be  made  complete  in  Him.    I 

38 


446  REMARKS.  [1850. 

well  remember  an  expression  I  once. heard  dear  Dr.  Miller  use  in 
prayer :  '  We  are  great  sinners,  but  Thou  art  a  great  Saviour.' 

"  Tears  are  coming,  my  dear  boy,  as  I  approach  the  conclusion  of 
my  letter.  I  long  to  see  you  sheltered  within  the  covenant  of  grace. 
Will  you  not  go  to  Jesus,  and  say  to  Him  : 

'  Here,  Lord,  I  give  myself  to  Thee, 
'Tis  all  that  I  can  do'? 

Will  you  not  study  the  Bible  with  especial  reference  to  the  character 
and  offices  of  our  Redeemer  ?  And  will  you  not  devote  the  twilight 
hour  to  prayer,  and  then  remember  that  I  am  beseeching  God  to 
bless  you  ? 

"  I  should  be  very  glad  to  receive  a  reply  to  this  long  letter  which 
I  have  written  with  a  pencil,  and  am  therefore  obliged  to  ask  my 
sister  to  copy.  I  should  consider  any  expression  of  your  feelings 
entirely  confidential. 

''  Believe  me,  dear  H.,  most  afiectionately  your  friend. 

Notes. 

"Jan.  — ,  1850. —  Susan  says  :  'Life  is  too  short  for  resent- 
ments. If  Vfc  returned  thanks  for  the  daily  blessings  of  life, 
we  should  have  less  time  to  think  of  its  trials.' 

^^Feb.  10th.  —  After  reading  Rev.  vii.  17,  she  said  it  was 
strange  that  such  a  sinner  as  she  could  so  confidently  expect 
to  go  to  Heaven  ;  adding,  '  It  ivould  be  strange,  if  it  were  not 
for  the  provision  made.'  She  again  commented  on  the  pas- 
sage, 'Is  any  afflicted,  let  him  pi"ay,'  and  said  the  general 
habit  was  when  afflicted  to  fret,  and  when  merry  to  sing 
songs.  She  desired  that  we  might  not  take  our  burdens  to 
the  mercy-seat  and  bear  them  away  again,  as  if  there  were 
no  God." 

From  her  Diary. 

"Feb.  13fA,  Ash  Wednesday . —  This  is  a  most  appropriate 
season  for  me.  I  do  desire  to  be  humbled  before  God,  —  to 
realize  my  great  unworthiness  of  the  loving-kindness  of  my 
Father  in  Christ  Jesus,  the  Giver  of  every  good  and  perfect 


1850.]  A    PRATER.  447 

gift.  I  have  had  since  church  a  most  interesting  visit  from 
mj  beloved  Bishop. 

"  0  Holy  Ghost,  Sanctifier  of  the  faithful,  wilt  Thou  not 
anoint  him  richly  for  the  performance  of  his  solemn  respon- 
sihility.  Sanctify  his  opinions,  instruct  his  judgment,  warm 
his  affections,  and  make  him  bold  and  uncompromising  in  the 
defence  of  sound  doctrine,  and  of  all  that  will  glorify  his 
Father  in  Heaven. 

"  If  I  should  be  removed  from  my  sisters,  I  hope  instant 
submission  and  great  consolation  and  profit  will  be  given 
them.  Oh  !  my  Saviour,  take  me  to  thyself  whenever  it  shall 
seem  good  to  Thee.  I  shall  be  satisfied  when  I  awake  with 
Thy  likeness. 

"  17th,  Sunday.  —  This  is  a  most  beautiful  morning. 

'  Thine  earthly  Sabbaths,  Lord,  we  love, 
But  there 's  a  nobler  rest  above  ; 
To  that  our  laboring  souls  aspire, 
With  fervent  hope  and  strong  desire.' " 

To  a  Relative. 

•'March,  1850. 

"I  do  not  believe,  dear ,  that  your  own  children  think  of 

you  with  more  tenderness  than  the  invalid  to  whom  you  read  Young's 
Night  Thoughts  so  delightfully,  three  or  four  years  since. 

"  How  glad  I  should  be  to  minister  to  your  comfort,  to  nurse  you 
if  you  were  sick,  and  to  talk  with  you  of  that  better  land  which  will 
be  undisturbed  forever  by  the  intrusion  of  sorrow,  sickness  and  sin. 
Many  of  our  beloved  ones  have  been  already  welcomed  to  this  holy, 
happy  home  ;  and  I  trust  we  too  shall  enjoy  the  blessings  of  redeem- 
ing love.  It  is  true  we  are  very,  very  sinful,  and  we  are  assured 
that  nothing  that  is  unclean,  nothing  that  defileth  shall  enter  the 
kingdom  of  Heaven.  It  is  true  that  we  have  incurred  the  penalty 
of  the  violated  law  of  a  holy  God;  but  it  is  'a  faithful  saying,  and 
worthy  of  all  acceptation,  that  Christ  Jesus  came  into  the  world  to 
save  sinners,'  and  shall  we  not  receive  this  offered  mercy? 

"I  do  not  know,  my  beloved  friend,  why  it  is  that  solicitude  for 
your  eternal  welfare  is  so  deeply  impressed  upon  my  spirit,  and  that 
T  pray  for  you  so  much  more  earnestly  than  for  many  of  my  friends 


448  LETTERS.  [1850. 

in  whom  I  would  be  expected  to  feel  an  equal  degree  of  interest. 
How  deep  would  be  my  grief  if  I  were  to  learn  that  you  had  passed 
into  eternity  uncheered  by  the  blessed  light  of  experimental  religion, 
unable  to  give  to  your  sun'iving  friends  the  consolatory  assurance 
that  you  had  been  born  again,  washed  in  the  blood  of  the  Lamb, 
covered  with  the  robe  of  Ilis  righteousness,  sanctified  by  the  Holy 
Ghost,  and  enabled  in  a  truly  filial  spirit  to  call  God  Father.  Tears 
are  in  ray  eyes  and  the  love  of  Christ  in  my  heart,  whilst  I  beseech 
you  to  accept  that  Saviour  who  has  pardoned  me  and  given  me  so 
much  peace,  and  who  says  to  you  also,  '  Come  unto  me  and  I  will 
give  you  rest.' 

"  Is  not  your  spirit  often  weary?  How  often  your  thoughts  must 
dwell  upon  the  friends  of  your  earlier  days,  upon  the  bereavements 
which  have  ^diminished  your  domestic  circle,  and  the  many  changing 
scenes  of  life  with  painful  recollection,  which  I  would  have  exchanged 
for  the  unspeakable  happiness  of  communion  with  God,  and  the  anti- 
cipation of  His  presence  in  eternal  glory. 

"  I  should  express  these  desires  with  greater  timidity  if  I  did  not 
believe  that  you  reciprocate  my  warm  aifection,  and  would  be  unwill- 
ing to  suspect  me  of  disrespectful  or  presumptuous  feeling.  Since  I 
never  yet  have  learned  that  you  'seek  first  the  kingdom  of  God  and 
His  righteousness,'  you  cannot  be  surprised  that  I  should  be  greatly 
desirous  that  all  your  energies  should  be  devoted  to  this  blessed  pur- 
suit, and  when  you  reflect  that  I  am  constantly  awaiting  my  dismissal 
from  earth,  since  my  frame  is  almost  exhausted  by  disease,  you  will 
not  think  it  strange  that  I  should  tell  one  I  so  much  love  that  I  wish 
him  to  enjoy  the  hopes  which  sustain  my  heart? 

"  I  wish  you  had  witnessed  the  celestial  light  which  irradiated  my 
mother's  countenance,  as  the  world^of  glory  opened  upon  her  view, 
I  wish  you  had  listened  to  the  words  of  love  and  joyful  trust  in  her 
Redeemer's  merits,  which  rendered  her  dying  chamber  a  place  of 
deep  instruction,  and  I  wish  too  that  you  had  traced  the  deepening 
influence  of  religious  truth  as  her  life  passed  on.  It  was  my  privi- 
lege to  be  with  her,  and  to  hear  her  exclaim  with  deep  emotion, 
'  What  shall  I  render  unto  the  Lord  for  all  His  benefits  towards 
me  ?'  Early  in  the  morning  her  Bible  or  Prayer  Book  engaged  her 
devout  attention,  and  deeply  she  realized  the  mercy  of  the  widow's 
God.  A  day  or  two  before  she  went  to  Heaven,  I  observed  that  she 
was  in  great  suff"ering,  and  remarked,  'Our  Saviour  is  touched  with 
a  feeling  of  our  infirmities.'  '  Wonderful  !'  was  her  reply.  '  What 
is  wonderful,  mother?'     'That  He  should  come  to  earth,  and  suffer 


1850.]  LETTERS.  449 

and  die.'  *  That  is  all  our  hope/  T  said.  '  It  is  all  mine/  was  the 
response. 

"  You  were  always  my  mother's  friend,  and  I  hope  it  will  be  her 
happiness  to  welcome  you  to  the  abode  of  glorified  spirits.  One  of 
her  children  is  with  her  there ;  and  I  am  thankful  for  this,  although 
dear  sister  S.  was  one  of  the  sunbeams  of  my  life. 

"  Oh,  let  us,  in  the  strength  of  our  Redeemer,  seek  preparation 
for  the  upper  sanctuary !  In  the  earthly  courts  of  the  Lord  I  can 
no  longer  enjoy  His  presence,  but  this  is  your  privilege ;  and  it  is 
mine  to  experience,  in  the  solitude  of  my  chamber,  that  He  is  '  the 
Father  of  mercies  and  God  of  all  comfort.'  He  has  dealt  very  gently 
with  me,  and  I  would  magnify  His  name.     *     *     * 

''  That  our  Father  in  Heaven  may  bestow  rich  blessings  upon  my 
beloved  relative  is  the  prayer  of  his  aifectionate  S.  A." 

To  Rev.  Dr.  Kcville. 

"  March  2tl,  185C. 

"  '  I  believe  in  the  communion  of  saints,'  and  with  you,  my  beloved 
Dr.  N.,  I  have  often  enjoyed  it.  Your  sympathy  and  counsel  have 
been  among  the  blessings  which  have  cheered  my  chamber  of  sick- 
ness, and  I  was  not  surprised  to  receive  from  your  distant  place  of 
residence  so  prompt  an  assurance  that  you  share  the  sorrow  of  our 
recent  bereavement,  and  affectionately  commend  us  to  the  healing 
offices  of  tbe  Consolation  of  Israel. 

"It  is  gladness  to  the  spirit  to  learn,  not  from  Scripture  only,  but 
from  the  experience  of  many  years,  that  'we  have  not  an  High  Priest 
which  cannot  be  touched  with  a  feeling  of  our  infirmities.'  I  am 
truly  thankful  for  the  trials  which  have  so  manifested  His  precious- 
ness,  and  rejoice  in  the  hope  of  dwelling  forever  in  the  presence  of 
such  a  Saviour.  He  led  my  darling  sister  very  rapidly  through  the 
valley  of  the  shadow  of  death.  She  feared  no  evil  and  she  found 
none.  Her  physical ^suS'erings  were  intense,  but  'all  is  peace,  per- 
fect peace' :  '  I  know  in  whom  I  have  believed,  and  am  persuaded 
that  He  is  able  to  keep  that  which  I  have  committed  unto  Him, 
against  that  day,'  were  among  the  many  expressions  which  indicated 
the  tranquillity  of  her  spirit.  Of  me,  she  said,  '  I  want  to  see  her 
very  much,  but  I  shall  be  there  to  welcome  her.'  But  I  need  not 
give  you  the  details  of  this  event,  as  you  have  probably  learned  them 
from  sister  M. 

"  She  has  probably  told  you  how  I  wished  to  acknowledge  your 
welcome  letter.  I  should  have  long  since  asked  one  of  my  sisters 
2d  38* 


450  LETTERS.  [1850. 

to  write  for  me,  but  I  wished  to  reserve  this  pleasure  for  myself,  and 
to  employ  her  only  as  a  copyist. 

"  I  am  glad  you  loved  my  sister  so  well,  and  appreciated  her 
earnest  piety.  I  do  not  know  how  to  express  my  estimation  of  her 
character,  nor  the  affection  which  was  continually  growing  more  deep 
and  strong.  I  do  not  suffer  myself  to  dwell  upon  the  deprivation 
of  her  society  and  offices  of  love,  but  employ  myself  rather  in  bless- 
ing God  that  He  has  taken  my  precious  sister  to  a  Home  of  glory  ! 
With  the  intelligence  of  her  departure  came  sustaining  grace,  and 
instant  realization  that  our  Father  in  Heaven  is  wise  and  merciful. 
If  His  succor  had  not  been  immediate,  and  if  it  were  not  constantly 
vouchsafed,  I  should  have  felt  the  full  pressure  of  a  very  heavy 
sorrow. 

"  I  trust  the  scene  of  your  labors  has  been  transferred,  that  you 
may  remind  the  little  flock  in  that  gay  city  of  the  blessedness  of  fol- 
lowing the  Good  Shepherd  with  close  allegiance,  and  be  privileged 
to  win  many  wanderers  to  the  fold.  May  your  experience  from 
day  to  day  be  a  fulfilment  of  the  promise,  '  The  secret  of  the  Lord 
is  with  them  that  fear  Him,  and  He  will  show  them  His  covenant/ 
and  may  you  be  enabled  to  unfold  the  wonders  of  redemption  with 
simplicity,  boldness  and  unparalleled  success.  Then  will  you  be 
compensated  for  all  you  have  endured,  separated  from  so  many  objects 
of  affection.     *     *     * 

"  Shall  we  not  be  very  glad  to  behold  our  Saviour  as  He  is,  to 
love  Him  as  we  ought,  and  to  share  this  happiness  with  our  brethren 
in  the  Lord  ?  There  will  be  nothing  to  forgive  in  each  other  then, 
nothing  to  disappoint,  no  danger  of  undue  dependence,  and  no  fear 
of  change.  '  The  Lamb  is  the  light  thereof,'  is  to  me  the  most 
attractive  description  of  Heaven. 

"  I  shall  hope  to  receive  a  letter  from  you  if  I  live  a  few  weeks 
longer,  and  to  hear  much  of  your  mother,  of  whom  I  always  think 
with  peculiar  interest. 

From  he)'  Diary. 
^' April  IQth.  —  It  has  been  very  refreshing  to  mj  spirit  to 
commune  of  heavenly  things  with  those  young  soldiers  of  the 
cross.  The  Bible  has  been  our  chief  occupation,  for  we  have 
desired  to  search  for  its  hid  treasures.  I  am  thankful  for 
the  rich  possession  of  Bagster's  Bible.     My  Heavenly  Father 


1850.]  DIARY.  451 

sent  it.  to  me  in  great  love.     I  have  many  tender  thoughts  of 
my  sister  who  is  gone  to  Heaven, 

'•'■June  AtJi.  —  My  heart  is  drawn  out  in  inexpressible  ten- 
derness towards  a  sweet  little  girl  who  has  just  left  my  room, 
and  who  passed  part  of  last  evening  with  me.  Her  mother 
tells  me  she  is  twelve  years  old,  has  given  evidence  of  a 
change  of  heart  since  she  was  five,  and  became  a  member  of 
the  Presbyterian  Church  at  the  age  of  nine.  But  I  cannot 
write  more  this  afternoon. 

^'Jime  29th.  —  I  have  been  greatly  interested,  this  after- 
noon, in  a  visit  from  my  young  friend  A.  M.  The  circum- 
stances of  our  acquaintance,  her  perplexities  upon  the  most 
important  subjects,  and  the  probability  that  she  must  soon 
meet  the  emergencies  of  a  dying  hour,  give  her  a  claim  upon 
my  sympathy,  efforts  and  prayers  which  has  never  been  fully 
met,  although  my  solicitude  on  her  account  is  deep  and 
strong.  This  afternoon  she  almost  resolved  to  venture  her 
soul  upon  the  Lord  Jesus,  and  I  felt  that  He  would  help  her 
unbelief. 

"  '  I  think  I  will,'  was  her  reply  to  my  persuasions  to  trust 
that  Saviour  who  has  had  mercy  upon  me  and  so  many  other 
poor  sinners.  I  told  her  to  kneel  down  and  try  to  come  to 
the  Saviour,  and  I  would  pray  for  her  silently.  Before  she 
left  me,  she  said  she  had  not  examined  herself  with  suflScient 
seriousness,  and  endeavored  to  convince  me  that  she  was  very 
sinful,  far  more  so  than  I  realized.  I  answered  that  I  believed 
her  to  be  much  more  so  than  either  she  or  I  realized ;  but 
again  and  again  reminded  her  that  she  was  just  such  a  sinner 
as  Jesus  came  to  save,  and  that  He  is  a  Saviour  in  every 
respect  adapted  to  her  necessities.  But  flesh  and  blood  can- 
not reveal  this.  Lord  Jesus,  I  bring  her  to  Thee  with  faith. 
I  believe  Thou  wilt  enable  her  to  receive  Thee  as  her  Lord 
and  her  God. 

"  Oh,  what  a  sad  theology  is  Unitarianism  !  I  bless  God 
that  I  have  stronger  and  better  hopes. 


452  DR.  ciianning's  works.  [1850. 

'■'■July  10th.  — The  2d  day  of  this  month  -was  the  anniver- 
sary of  my  precious  Lucie's  translation.  I  can  truly  say  that 
since  I  have  been  a  disciple  of  the  Lord  Jesus,  I  have  never 
endured  an  unsustained  sorrow.  '  He  that  hath  received  his 
testimony  hath  set  to  his  seal  that  God  is  true.' 

"  14:th. —  If  it  be  so  sweet  to  experience  the  chastening  of 
the  Lord,  what  must  tbe  enjoyment  of  His  presence  be  in  that 
world  where  chastening  shall  not  enter?" 

The  above  allusion  to  a  subject  before  noticed  In  this  Me- 
moir expresses  Miss  Allibone's  profound  convictions.  The 
denial  of  our  blessed  Redeemer's  supreme  Godhead  and 
Atonement  awakened  in  her  breast  the  most  painful  emo- 
tions. There  was  nought  of  the  asperity  of  the  bigot  or  con- 
troversialist in  her  tone  on  this  subject,  but  deep  regret  and 
sorrow  of  heart  to  witness  in  any  redeemed  sinner  a  disposi- 
tion to  detract  from  the  glory  of  Lnmanuel.  She  thus 
describes  the  impression  produced  on  her  mind  by  the  works 
of  one  of  the  most  gifted  and  admired  writers  of  this  school : 

To  Rev.  R.  S. 

"You  will  be  surprised,  dear  K.,  to  receive  so  prompt  a  reply  to 
your  very  welcome  letter,  but  as  this  rainy  afternoon  affords  me  the 
opportunity  of  unusual  leisure  I  will  gladly  devote  it  to  you.  You 
have  given  me  quite  a  pleasant  impression  of  your  new  location,  with 
its  beautiful  maple-tree,  and  birds  singing  among  the  branches.  I 
hope  the  tap  of  which  you  speak  wHl  be  no  unusual  sound,  and  much 
I  desire  for  my  beloved  cousin  the  sympathy  of  kind  friends.  How 
sweet  to  realize  that  our  Heavenly  Father's  love  is  the  source  of  all 
these  comforts,  and  to  be  enabled  to  say,  '  Each  blessing  to  my  heart 
more  dear,  because  conferred  by  Thee' ! 

"  I  am  truly  grieved  that  your  friend  is  so  much  pleased  with  Dr. 
Channing's  works.  They  are  indeed  fascinating  to  the  intellect,  but 
very  injurious  to  the  spiritual  welfare.  I  remember  to  have  responded 
to  some  of  these  beautifully  expressed  but  dangerous  sentiments,  by 
bursting  into  tears  when  they  were  read  to  me  some  years  since. 
Channing  erects  a  beautiful  structure,  but  it  is  not  built  upon  the 
Ilock  of  Ages,  and  therefore  I  can  only  look  upon  it  with  sorrow,  for 
r  know  that  its  ruin  approacheth.      I  learn  that  he  was  not  entirely 


1850.]  ARIANISM.  458 

satisfied  witli  his  own  views.  I  thinli  Dr.  C.  more  dangerous  as  a 
writer,  because  the  Ariaa  theology  is  more  specious  than  the  lower 
grades  of  Unitarianism.  For  those  who  are  unwilling  to  degrade  the 
•Saviour  to  the  rank  of  humanity,  and  yet  refuse  to  acknowledge  His 
ecjuality  with  the  Father,  feel  as  though  they  have  found  in  these 
doctrines  a  solution  of  their  doubts.  But  indeed  I  do  not  know  in 
what  position  they  place  our  blessed  Redeemer.  It  is  most  inde- 
finable and  incomprehensible,  and  certainly  involves  more  difiiculties 
than  the  system  of  divinity  which  they  reject.  Oh !  it  makes  my 
heart  sick,  that  He,  whom  the  Scriptures  assure  us  was  '  in  the  be- 
ginning with  God,  and  was  God,'  should  be  regarded  as  an  inferior 
being.  It  has  been  well  observed  that  '  He,  without  whom  nothing 
was  made  that  is  made,  could  not  have  been  himself  created ;'  and  I 
rejoice  to  call  Him  '  My  Lord  and  my  God;'  to  praise  Him,  to  pray 
to  Him,  and  to  trust  Him.  Answered  prayer  is  one  among  the 
many  evidences  which  confirm  my  conviction  that  He  is  mighty  to  ■ 
save,  and  strong  to  deliver.  It  is  the  privilege  of  the  Trinitarian, 
dear  R.,  to  believe  and  to  fulfil  the  prophecy,  '  He  shall  be  called 
Wonderful,  Counsellor,  the  Mighty  God,  the  Everlasting  Father.' 
Can  we  possibly  ascribe  too  much  homage  to  Him  to  whom  the  Word 
of  God  has  thus  testified  ?  How  I  love  that  ascription  in  our  ser- 
vice, '  Thou  art  the  King  of  Glory,  0  Christ.'  How  delightful  is 
the  recollection  that  *  the  goodly  fellowship  of  the  Prophets,  the  glo- 
rious company  of  the  Apostles,'  and  '  the  noble  army  of  martyrs' 
unite  with  '  the  Holy  Church  throughout  the  world,'  in  the  worship 
of  the  glorious  Trinity.  This  is  a  subject  upon  which  I  feel  deeply, 
and  although  I  am  not  aware  that  your  friend  is  at  all  disposed  to 
undervalue  the  claims  of  Him  who  '  thought  it  not  robbery  to  be 
equal  with  God,'  I  hope  I  shall  not  forget  to  pray  that  He  may  be 
taught,  by  the  Holy  Ghost,  to  call  Jesus,  Lord.  For  I  desire  for 
him  not  a  speculative  faith,  merely,  but  an  experimental  knowledge 
of  our  blessed  Redeemer,  grace  to  appropriate  the  benefits  of  His 
redemption  as  his  own ;  not  only  to  call  Him  the  Saviour,  but  mi/ 
Saviour.  I  feel  an  unusual  interest  in  Mr.  M.  He  is  an  immortal 
being,  your  friend,  and  a  Virginian  too.  There  are  no  people  to 
whom  I  am  so  attracted  as  the  warm-hearted  natives  of  his  State. 
Do  persuade  him  to  read  Theron  and  Aspasia  very  soon. 

''  Now  I  will  return  to  you,  my  dear  cousin.  I  am  so  thankful 
that  you  have  enjoyed  so  much  spiritual  comfort  since  you  left  us ! 
Oh  that  grace,  mercy  and  peace  may  be  multiplied  through  the 


454  LETTERS.  [1850. 

knowledge  of  Jesus  Christ !  God  has  not  said  '  to  the  seed  of 
Jacob,  seek  ye  me  in  vain.'  Oh  that  with  increasing  faith  you  may 
ask  in  the  name  of  Jesus,  and  for  His  sake  expect  the  richest  spiritual 
blessings  !  The  8th  chapter  of  Romans  is  a  beautiful  summary  of 
Christian  hopes  and  privileges.  Are  you  not  very  glad  to  resume 
the  charge  of  your  Sunday  School  boys  ?  Let  the  Saviour's  injunc- 
tion, '  Feed  my  lambs,'  encourage  you  to  point  them  to  the  green 
pastures  in  -which  His  flock  repose."     *     *     * 

To  Mrs.  C.  JS.  0. 

"Sept.,  1850. 
"I  expected  we  should  have  enjoyed  verbal  intercourse  ere  this, 
dear  C,  but  thee  comes  not.  It  is  no  wonder  I  desire  the  society 
of  one  so  faithful,  and  so  true,  and  so  beloved.  I  believe  my  commu- 
nications are  assuming  more  and  more  the  character  of  love-letters — 
but  my  story  is  yet  untold.  I  wish  thee  could  see  my  little  '  Horti- 
cultural Exhibition'  this  afternoon.  Dear  C.,  I  love  still  better  to 
behold  Him  who  has  said,  '  I  am  the  Rose  of  Sharon  and  the  Lily 
of  the  valley.'  I  trust  His  presence  will  hallow  our  intercourse. 
How  much  we  enjoyed  it  when  I  was  so  often  with  thee  at  thy  home  ! 
I  remember  going  into  the  parlor  the  morning  I  left  thee,  that  I 
might  select  a  promise  from  the  volume  of  '■  Scripture  Promises'  lying 
on  the  table.  My  eye  rested  on  this  passage,  '  The  God  of  all  grace, 
who  hath  called  us  unto  His  eternal  glory  by  Christ  Jesus,  after  that 
ye  have  suffered  awhile,  make  you  perfect,  establish,  strengthen,  set- 
tle you.'  Can  I  doubt  that  this  promise  will  be  fulfilled  ?  And  have 
I  not  reason  to  be  very  thankful  that  my  Heavenly  Father  loves  me 
so  well  as  to  give  me  so  many  p^pofs  that  I  am  His  child  ?  I  wish 
my  ^  light  afiiictions'  did  not  cause  tliee  so  much  pain,  dear  C,  much 
as  I  appreciate  thy  sympathy.  I  have  never  had  to  bear  them  in 
my  own  strength,  and  indeed  I  could  uot  do  without  them.  Thee 
will  be  glad  to  hear  I  had  a  delightful  visit  from  Dr.  N.,  yesterday. 
He  leaves  next  Tuesday,  to  attend  the  General  Convention.  How 
much  we  should  pray  that  a  blessing  may  rest  upon  its  counsels ! 
Oh  that  we  may  all  seek  our  Heavenly  Father's  blessing  with  our 
whole  hearts  !  I  expect  a  great  many  spiritual  gifts  for  your  house- 
hold. 'He  that  spared  not  His  own  Son,  but  delivered  Him  up  for 
us  all,  how  shall  He  not,  with  Him  also,  freely  give  us  all  things?'" 


1850.]  LETTERS.  455 

To  C.  R.  B. 

"  Oct.  4,  1850. 

" '  Yea,  I  have  a  goodly  heritage/  and  am  glad  to  he  reminded  of 
this  truth  by  the  communication  of  my  valued  Friend. 

"  Strike  the  harp  again,  and  let  the  song  be  praise  to  our  blessed 
Redeemer,  your  '  morning/  and  my  evening  *  Star,'  or  rather,  the 
'Sun  of  Righteousness/  shining  with  'healing  in  His  wings,'  upon 
your  early  manhood,  and  upon  the  pathway  of  suffering  which  I 
gladly  traverse,  because  it  is  so  brightly  irradiated  by  this  heavenly 
light,  and  leads  to  the  haven  where  1  would  be. 

"  I  often  feel  as  though  I  were  almost  there.  My  heart  beats  so 
feebly,  that  I  am  reminded  that  its  last  pulsation  may  come  ere  long. 
I  trust  I  await  my  welcome  home  patiently,  and  until  it  come,  would 
'  glory  in  my  infirmity,  that  the  power  of  Christ  may  rest  upon  me.' 
Need  I  care  that  '  my  heart  and  my  flesh  faileth,'  when  '  God  is  the 
strength  of  my  heart,  and  my  po?-ticm  for  cve7\' 

"  Pray  much  that  I  may  glorify  Him  unreservedly,  that  the  pro- 
mise may  be  fulfilled,  '  I  will  turn  my  hand  upon  thee,  and  purely 
purge  away  thy  dross,  aud  take  away  all  thy  tin.' 

"  May  our  Father  give  you  grace  to  consecrate  to  His  service  all 
your  strength,  all  your  buoyancy,  all  that  you  have  and  are ;  and 
let  yours  be  a  lowly  and  peaceful  resting-place  at  the  Cross  of  our 
blessed  Saviour,  until  you  be  elevated  to  His  presence  in  glory. 

"Your  true  friend." 

To  a  Relative. 

"  Nov.  1,  1850. 
"  I  have  been,  for  a  long  time,  unable  to  write  my  own  letters, 
dear  A.,  but  have  wished  very  much  to  dictate  one  to  you,  and  I 
have  been  fearful  that  you  would  suppose  that  the  very  welcome  and 
affectionate  letter  long  since  received  from  you  and  your  beloved  wife 
had  been  quite  disregarded.  I  wished  much  to  have  told  you  how 
truly  I  sympathize  with  you  in  the  loss  of  your  child,  which  must 
indeed  have  been  a  painful  bereavement.  Did  you  go  to  the  Saviour 
for  consolation,  my  dear  cousin  ?  Did  you  realize  that  the  Good 
Shepherd  had  folded  this  lamb  to  His  bosom,  and  would  have  you 
follow  it  to  the  green  pastures  of  eternal  life  ?  Is  this  heavenly  guide 
now  '  leading  you  in  the  paths  of  righteousness  for  His  name's  sake  ?' 
Do  you  know  His  voice  and  follow  Him  ?  How  true  it  is,  that  '  all 
we,  like  sheep,  have  gone  astray,'  and  I  do  trust  the  Holy  Spirit  has 
given  you  an  experimental  knowledge  of  your  sinfulness.  You  can- 
not otherwise  appreciate  the  salvation  Christ  has  purchased.     Dear 


456  LETTERS.  [1850. 

A.,  have  you  come  to  the  Saviour  on  whom  '  the  Lord  hath  laid  the 
iniquity  of  us  all?'  You  have  always  allowed  me  to  express  my  in- 
terest in  your  spiritual  welfare,  and  if  you  were  at  my  bed-side,  I 
think  I  could  talk  to  you  more  freely  than  ever.  JMy  physical  ail- 
ments have  greatly  increased  during  the  past  year,  and  I  am  appa- 
rently all  the  time  on  the  confines  of  eternity.  Most  peacefully  I 
rest  upon  the  finished  righteousness  of  Christ.  Most  joyfully  I 
appropriate  the  promises  of  God's  Word.  I  have  found  Jesus  an 
unfailing  Friend.  Oh,  I  wish  I  could  know  if  you  have  learned  to 
trust  Him  !  Will  you  not  write  to  me  at  once,  when  you  have  re- 
ceived this  letter,  and  tell  me  whether  you  have  really  passed  from 
death  unto  life?  How  important  it  is  to  realize  that  we  all  belong 
to  one  of  two  classes  —  that  there  is  no  neutral  ground  for  us  to 
stand  upon.  Desires  and  intentions  will  not  save  the  soul;  there- 
fore, my  beloved  cousin,  whilst  I  rejoice  that  you  reverence  holy 
things,  [  cannot  feel  satisfied  until  I  have  learned  that  you  have  truly 
repented  and  believed;  that  you  have  enlisted  under  the  banner  of 
the  Prince  of  peace.  His  service  is  delightful,  and  '  His  rest  shall 
be  glorious.'  'Tis  true  His  subjects  have  many  enemies  to  contend 
with ;  their  own  treacherous  hearts  are  their  greatest  foes,  and  Satan 
and  the  world  urge  vigorous  warfare.  The  sixth  chapter  of  Ephe- 
sians,  and  the  eighty-eighth  hymn  of  our  Prayer-book,  teach  us 
how  to  resist  their  power.  '  Who  in  the  strength  of  Jesus  trusts,  is 
more  than  conqueror.'  Unlike  the  warrior  in  an  earthly  battle,  the 
soldier  of  the  Cross  relies  not  upon  his  own  valor.  God  only  teaches 
us  the  renunciation  of  self-dependence.  I  trust,  dear  A.,  you  will 
learn  more  and  more  of  your  own  helplessness,  and  more  and  more 
of  heavenly  strength.  You  will  find  every  thing  in  Jesus,  if  you  will 
come  to  Him — wisdom,  righteousness,  sanctification  and  redemption. 
How  much  I  should  love  to  have  you  with  me  now  that  I  might  tell 
you  how  kind  the  Saviour  has  been  to  me." 

To  a  Bereaved  Friend. 

"  If  my  steps  would  obey  the  impulse  of  my  heart,  how  soon  would 
I  hasten  to  the  dwelling  into  which  sickness  and  death  have  entered, 
to  tell  you  how  much  I  feel  for  you,  and  endeavor  to  alleviate  your 
sutferings.  But  most  of  all  would  I  delight  to  speak  of  the  blessed 
assurance  our  Heavenly  Father  has  given  us,  that  He  doth  not  will- 
ingly '  afflict  nor  grieve  the  children  of  men,'  and  to  urge  you  to 
seek  the  sanctified  uses  of  adversity.  Most  gently  and  tenderly  would 


1850.]  LETTER.  457 

I  speak  of  the  '  balm  of  Gilead'  to  a  heart  so  wounded  as  thine,  dear 
E. ;  for  such  sorrow  there  is  surely  no  other  healing.  When  I 
remember  the  happy  hours  I  have  passed  with  your  family  in  your 
pleasant  home,  and  then  reflect  upon  the  dispensations  of  Providence 
which  have  removed  so  many  of  your  circle,  how  can  I  do  else  than 
sympathize  most  deeply,  and  fervently  pray  that  many  blessed  les- 
sons may  be  the  result  of  this  painful  experience.  Thee  remembers 
how  afiectionately  I  was  attached  to  thy  beloved  mother,  with  whom 
I  had  much  profitable  intercourse,  and  who  always  gave  me  so  warm 

a  welcome  when  I  visited  you.     Dear ,  too,  was  always  so  kind 

and  amiable.     And  then  dear ,  whom  I  loved  so  tenderly.     If 

/feel  sorrowful  when  I  think  of  these  bereavements,  what  must  have 
been  thi/  sufferings  ?  But  we  trust  these  loved  ones  have  gone  to  a 
better  world,  and  there  is  more  melody  in  heaven  because  thy  pre- 
cious children  tune  angel  harps.  Oh  that  their  mother's  heart  may 
be  attracted  thither!  Dear  E.,  does  thee  know  a  Saviour's  love? 
Has  thee  ever  felt  the  burden  of  sin  —  the  utter  impotence  of  every 
effort  which  the  Holy  Spirit  does  not  aid  ?  Has  thee  cast  thyself  at 
the  feet  of  Jesus;  has  thee,  weary  and  heavy  laden,  come  to  Him  for 
rest,  and  bowed  thy  spirit  to  take  upon  thee  the  yoke  of  Him  who 
was  '  meek  and  lowly  of  heart'  ?  When  we  consider  the  holiness  of 
the  law  of  God,  and  realize  how  often  we  have  broken  it  —  when  we 
contemplate  the  uncertainty  of  life,  and  our  certain  entrance  into  the 
presence  of  the  Judge  of  'quick  and  dead/  with  how  much  solem- 
nity should  we  ask  the  question,  How  can  I  prepare  to  meet  my  God? 
It  is  the  Holy  Spirit's  office  to  convince  us  of  sin,  of  righteousness, 
and  of  a  judgment  to  come.  Let  us  implore  that  He  may  grant  us 
deeper  repentance  and  more  fervent  love.  Oh  how  suitable  is  our 
Redeemer  for  every  spiritual  necessity !  It  is  His  office  to  give 
'  repentance  and  remission  of  sins.'  Oh,  then,  let  us  humble  our- 
selves before  Him;  let  us  rejoice  that  though  'we  have  gone  astray 
like  lost  sheep,'  the  Lord  hath  laid  upon  Him  the  iniquity  of  us  all. 
He  is  'a  Man  of  sorrows,  and  acquainted  with  grief.'  Therefore, 
the  sinner  and  the  sufferer  may  come  to  Him,  and  He  will  give  the 
'oil  of  joy  for  mourning,  and  the  garment  of  praise  for  the  spirit  of 
heaviness.'  Oh  that  much  of  this  consolation  may  be  given  thee  in 
this  hour  of  bereavement,  sickness  and  anxiety.  Entrust  thy  beloved 
husband  to  the  keeping  of  our  Heavenly  Father.  How  painful  must 
be  this  separation  to  you  both  !  When  thee  writes  to  him,  give  him 
from  me  a  message  of  kind  remembrance,  and  tell  him  I  trust  he 
rests  upon  the  '  Rock  of  Ages.'  Give  my  love  affectionately  to  every 

39 


458  DIARY.  [1850. 

member  of  the  family,  and  tell  them  I  have  asked  our  Heavenly 
Father  to  be  with  them  in  this  deep  affliction.  I  should  love  very 
much  to  receive  a  letter  from  thee,  if  the  exertion  will  not  be  too 
fatiguing.  Allow  me  to  recommend  the  53d  chapter  of  Isaiah.  I 
desire  for  all  the  comfort  I  enjoy.  More  than  eleven  years  have  past 
since  I  have  walked  down  stairs,  yet  I  cannot  say  that  I  ever  know 
a  feeling  of  loneliness.  For,  unworthy  as  I  am,  the  Saviour's  pre- 
sence sustains  me.  That  we  may  both  enjoy  it  for  ever  is  the  prayer 
of  thy  sincerely  affectionate  friend." 

From  her  Diary. 

"  Nov.  11th.  —  Dear  cousin  has  been  reading  to  me  this 
morning,  before  Church,  and  this  afternoon  also,  many  por- 
tions of  the  Prayer-book,  which,  with  Adam  Clark,  I  can 
truly  say  is,  next  to  the  Bible,  the  book  of  my  understanding 
and  my  heart.  The  Visitation  Service  she  read  fervently  and 
devoutly.     I  wish  it  were  more  used  in  sick-rooms. 

"How  can  I  be  thankful  enough  that  I  was  led  to  Jesus 
before  my  chamber  became  my  abiding-place  !  I  had  not  the 
Saviour  to  seek  in  a  sick-room,  but  came  into  it  '  leaning 
upon  the  Beloved.'  I  have  'sinned  and  come  short,'  but  He 
has  been  to  me  'a  merciful  and  faithful  High  Priest.'  This 
is  the  experience  of  my  eleven  years'  inability  to  walk  down 

stairs. 

*  I  know  the  Power  in  which  I  trust, 
The  Arm  on  which  I  lean.'  " 

Notes. 

"Dear  Susan  says,  'It  is  my  brightest  idea  of  happiness, 
to  be  alone  with  my  Heavenly  Father  on  earth,  and  to  be 
with  Him  in  a  large  company  in  Heaven.' 

^'■Sunday,  Nov.  2>d.  —  When  I  spoke  of  having  but  four 
scholars  in  the  colored  class  to-day,  she  replied,  '  Oh,  one's 
enoun;h  to  labor  over  a  life-time.  AVe  don't  realize,  in  that 
way,  enough,  the  Avorth  of  the  soul.' 

^'Nov.  11th.  —  It  is  eleven  years  since  Susan  walked  down 
stairs.     When  F.  said  it  was  well  she  could  not  foresee  so 


1850.]  LETTERS.  459 

many  years  of  suiFerlng,  she  replied,  '  I  might  have  tno-mi, 
as  I  do  now,  that  the  Lord  wouhi  be  with  mc' 

"  Of  the  church  which  she  is  so  interested  in  building  she 
said,  '  I  don't  want  a  dollar  of  compromise-money  in  that 
church.' 

"'The  Holy  Spirit,'  she  said,  'is  never  a  Comforter  un- 
less He  is  a  Sanctifier  too.' 

"13^7i. —  Susan  is  worse  to-day.  She  remarked  that  she 
did  not  bear  her  own  burdens,  and  she  did  not  want  any  one 
else  to  share  them.  f 

"  Spoke  of  the  beauty  of  the  text,  '  He  shall  not  be  afraid 
of  evil  tidings :  his  heart  is  fixed,  trusting  in  the  Lord.'  " 

To  Rev.  Mr.  D. 

"Dec.  6,  1850 

"  Almost  every  day  the  thought  occurs,  I  would  like  to  write  to 
Mr.  D.  Very  pleasant  is  the  recollection  of  our  intercourse.  Our 
Saviour's  all-sufficiency  was  the  theme,  and  this  is  a  subject  of  inex- 
haustible interest  to  the  sinner,  who  would  be  saved — to  the  sufferer, 
who  would  be  comforted  —  to  the  ignorant,  who  desires  instruction. 
And  then,  to  hear  and  to  speak,of  our  blessed  Redeemer  as  a  well- 
tried  Friend,  of  whom  all  we  have  learned  increases  our  desire  to 
know  more,  is  one  of  the  joys  with  which  'a  stranger  intermeddleth 
not.'  i 

"He  has  been  to  me,  my  dear  Mr.  D.,  Uhe  shadow  of  a  great 
rock  in  a  weary  land,'  '  my  shield,  my  glory  and  the  lifter  up  of 
mine  head.'  Wonderful,  indeed,  has  been  the  gentleness  with  which 
He  has  conducted  me  along  the  path  of  suffering!  That  such  a  path 
has  been  chosen  for  me  is  a  proof  both  of  wisdom  and  of  love.  That 
it  should  have  been  made  so  pleasant,  is  an  illustration  of  the  truth 
that  '  the  Lord  doth  not  willingly  afflict  nor  grieve  the  children  of 
men,'  but  administers  the  rod  of  discipline  with  a  countenance  so 
full  of  benignity,  and  so  many  words  of  encouragement,  that  the 
wound  is  inflicted  and  healed  at  the  same  moment.  It  is  humiliating 
that  we  require  so  much  chastening ;  it  is  more  humiliating  that  the 
peaceable  fruits  of  righteousness  grow  so  slowly  in  soil  upon  which 
so  much  culture  has  been  bestowed  ;  but  it  is  an  unspeakable  conso- 
lation to  know  that  an  omnipotent  Being  has  assumed  the  task  of 
our  sanctification,  and  will  '  work  in  us  to  will  and  to  do.'     Will  we 


460  CHRISTMAS.  [1850. 

not  be  very  glad  when  we  have  learned  to  sing,  '  Worthy  is  the  Lamb 
that  was  slain/  without  one  note  of  discord ;  when  self  shall  have 
been  quite  forgotten  in  the  contemplation  of  our  Redeemer's  glory? 
And  even  now  that  we  do  nothing  as  we  ought,  how  safe  and  tran- 
quil we  are,  since  we  are  '  accepted  in  the  Beloved/  and  are  '  com- 
plete in  Him.' 

"  I  had  not  talked  with  you  long,  before  I  discovered  that  the 
theology  I  have  found  strong  enough  to  bear  the  pressure  of  all  my 
necessities,  was  yours  also ;  and  how  much  was  I  gratified  to  learn 
that  my  beloved  pastor.  Dr.  Clark,  who  bore  such  faithful  testimony 
to  the  truth  we  love,  was  your  spiritual  friend.  *  The  memory  of  the 
just  is  blessed,'  is  an  assertion  of  Scripture  peculiarly  applicable  to 
him.  The  love  of  Christ  was  the  constraining  motive  of  his  life ; 
and  but  a  day  or  two  before  his  death,  when  he  was  almost  too  ill  to 
speak,  he  said  to  sister  M.,  '  My  hope  is  Jesus  !  Jesus  !'  All  physi- 
cal discomfort  is  over  now  and  every  sorrow  forgotten,  for  the  Lamb 
is  the  light  of  the  city  in  which  he  dwells. 

'  Let  saints  below  His  praises  sing, 
With  those  to  glory  gone. 
For  all  the  children  of  our  King 
In  Heaven  and  earth  are  one. 

'  One  army  of  the  living  God, 
At  His  command  we  bow; 
Part  of  the  host  have  crossed  the  flood, 
And  part  are  crossing  now.' 

"  May  our  Father  in  Heaven,  who  has  vouchsafed  you  an  intense 
desire  to  persuade  many  wanderers  to  become  your  fellow-pilgrims 
to  the  laud  of  promise,  direct  and  bless  your  every  effort." 

Notes. 

"  Of  a  Tractarian  book  which  some  one  gave  her,  she  said 
it  seemed  to  have  been  written  by  a  person  with  a  perplexed 
mind. 

'■'•Dec.  25th. —  Susan  says  she  never  woke  with  sweeter 
feelings  on  a  Christmas  morning.  She  told  me  that  tears  of 
joy  came  into  her  eyes  at  the  prospect  of  going  up.  She 
spoke  of  no  Christmas  excitement  being  comparable  to  quiet 
prayer. 

"28f7j.  —  She  was  suffering  more  than  usual,  but  had  the 


1850.]  CONVERSATION.  461 

prayer-meeting  in  her  room.  Repeated,  '  Lo,  what  a  cloud 
of  witnesses,'  and  prayed  very  solemnly  that  all  there  mio-ht 
be  sheltered  in  the  Rock  of  Ages,  as  we  were  from  the  storm 
that  raged  around.  She  brought  most  vividly  before  the 
mind  the  state  of  those  who,  being  without  the  Ark,  were  ex- 
posed to  the  lightning  of  God's  displeasure. 

'■'■Dec.  2>lst.  —  She  was  much  pleased  with  a  sentiment 
written  by  Dr.  Judson  in  a  Prayer-book,  in  which  a  friend 
desired  to  have  his  autograph.  '  Dr.  Judson  takes  great  plea- 
sure in  inscribing  his  name  in  the  book  of  devotions  used  by 
so  many  of  the  people  of  God.  "  Grace,  mercy  and  peace  be 
multiplied  upon  all  them  that  love  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  in 
sincerity."  '  " 


CHAI'TER  XXII. 

1851. 

Interest  in  F/tt'irn  Missions  —  Letters  on  the  subject  to  Kev.  R.  Smith 
—  Mr.  Smith's  Devotion  to  the  Work,  and  Early  Death  —  Letter  to 
Dr.  N.  —  Another  sharp  Affliction  —  Letter  of  Consolation  —  Dr.  Gor- 
don's Life  —  Letters  :  to  Rev.  Mr.  D.,  on  Entering  the  Ministry :  to 
an  Invalid  Youth  —  Visit  from  an  aged  Christian. 

The  Foreign  Missionary  cause  had  no  warmer  friend  tlian 
Miss  Allibone.  Her  unwearied  and  energetic  efforts  for  the 
spiritual  welfare  of  those  immediately  around  her  never  so 
absorbed  her  love  and  zeal,  as  to  render  her  unmindful  that 
multitudes  of  those  for  whom  Christ  shed  his  blood  were  en- 
veloped in  the  thickest  midnight  of  error  and  sin.  To  her 
enlarged  charity  "the  field  was  the  world."  To  her  faith 
the  final  triumph  of  the  Gospel  was  indubitable.  "I  love  to 
meet  any  one,"  she  said,  "  who  heartily  approves  of  Foreign 
Missions."  A  friend  remarks,  "  How  ardent  was  her  mis- 
sionary spirit !  How  her  heart  yearned  with  pity  over  the 
heathen  world,  and  with  what  Qxulting  joy  did  she  look  for- 
ward to  the  time  when  they  shall  remember  themselves  and 
turn  to  the  Lord!  From  her  bed  of  sickness,  as  from  an 
eminence,  she  saw  things  in  their  true  proportions.  She 
viewed  the  missionary's  trials,  discouragements,  separation 
from  friends,  sacrifice  of  health  and  life,  in  the  light  of  the 
glory  that  should  follow.  She  viewed  the  perishing  state  of 
the  heathen  as  He  viewed  it  who  '  so  loved  the  world  that 
He  gave  His  only  begotten  Son.'  And  she  deemed  it  an  ex- 
ceeding favor  to  be  allowed  any  part  in  bringing  them  to  the 

knowledge  of  their  God  and  Saviour." 

(4G2) 


1851.]  THE    YOUTHFUL    MISSIONARY.  463 

The  two  letters  following  were  addressed  to  lier  cousin, 
Robert  Smith,  then  a  student  in  the  Theological  Seminary  at 
Alexandria,  while  he  was  meditating  the  deeply  interesting 
point  of  his  personal  self-devotion  to  Foreign  Missions.  His 
confidential  friend  and  adviser  replies  with  undisguised  plea- 
sure at  the  suggestion,  and  dwells  upon  the  exceeding  privi- 
lege and  happiness  of  the  work.  But  the  spirit  which  her 
letters  breathe  is  nothing  akin  to  unreflecting  impulse  or 
romantic  enthusiasm.  Her  counsels  are  sober  and  enlightened, 
while  her  soul  glows  with  divinely-enkindled  ardor.  She  urges 
her  young  relative  to  count  the  cost,  and  satisfy  himself  that 
the  callw^as  from  God.  Mr.  Smith  was  soon  led  to  the  decided 
conviction  that  it  was  his  duty  to  carry  the  gospel  message 
to  benighted  Africa.  With  a  heart  full  of  love  for  souls 
perishing  through  lack  of  knowledge,  he  threw  himself  into 
the  work.  But  the  Master  whom  he  served  accepted  the 
desire  of  his  heart,  instead  of  a  protracted  life  of  labor  and 
self-denial.  After  a  few  weeks'  sojourn  in  Western  Africa, 
and  giving  indications  of  the  true  spirit  of  an  Evangelist,  he 
was  taken  to  that  bright  world  whither  his  faithful  spiritual 
counsellor  had,  but  a  few  months  before,  preceded  him. 
Although  he  fell  in  the  prime  of  life,  full  of  promise  and 
energy,  yet  can  it  be  supposed  that  either  of  the  two  sainted 
friends  now  regret  the  determination,  or  would  w^isli  the  step 
recalled  ?  Words  of  thankfulness  and  confidence  were  on 
his  dying  lip.  His  term  of  service,  though  brief,  was  long 
enough  to  glorify  his  Redeemer,  and  leave  an  example  of 
heroic  devotedness  to  the  great  and  blessed  cause  of  evan- 
gelizing the  heathen.  "None  of  those  things  moved  him, 
neither  counted  he  his  life  dear  unto  himself,  so  that  he  might 
finish  his  course  with  joy,  and  the  ministry  which  he  had  re- 
ceived of  the  Lord  Jesus  to  testify  the  gospel  of  the  grace 
of  God."  While  these  sheets  were  passing  under  the  author's 
eye,  the  intelligence  was  received  of  the  unexpected  re- 
moval  of  him    to   whom    these   letters  were    directed,  and 


464  LETTERS.  [1851. 

we  may  be  pardoned  for  turning  aside  for  a  moment  to  drop 
the  tear  of  sympathy  and  utter  the  thanksgiving  of  faith 
over  his  early  grave. 

To  the  Rev.  R.  Smith. 

"Jan.  4,  1851. 

"  There  is  much  in  my  heart,  upon  the  subject  of  missions,  which 
I  have  never  expressed  to  you,  my  dear  cousin.  Your  recent  letters 
have  touched  a  chord  whose  vibrations  would  have  reached  you  long 
ere  this,  if  I  could  have  gratified  my  earnest  desire.  I  trust  I  have 
not  a  friend  whom  I  would  not  encourage  to  say  among  the  heathen, 
'  The  Lord  reigneth,'  if  I  were  assured  he  would  go  at  His  bidding, 
and  in  His  strength.  I  am  glad  when  I  learn  that  a  missionary 
spirit  has  inspired  any  heart,  and  am  rejoiced  that  my  beloved  cou- 
sin, and  some  of  his  fellow-students,  are  inquiring  whether  it  may 
not  be  their  privilege  to  be  the  first  to  proclaim  to  some  of  their  fel- 
low-sinners that  Jesus  has  died  for  them.  They  need  the  Gospel  so 
much  that  it  should  not  be  withheld,  and  it  is  a  selfish  policy  which 
would  chill  the  ardor  of  those  who  are  willing  to  tell  them  that 
'  there  is  balm  in  Gilead,  and  a  Physician  there.'  It  should  be 
enough  for  the  friends  of  every  missionary  that  '  the  Lord  hath  need 
of  him.' 

"  I  have  endeavored  to  pray  much  that  you  and  your  friends  may 
know  the  will  of  our  Father  in  Heaven,  and  *  by  His  merciful 
guiding  may  perform  the  same.'  If  this  fire  be  not  of  the  Lord's 
kindling,  it  will  probably  be  soon  extinguished.  And  in  such  a  case, 
it  would  be  well  if  it  were.  There  are  stern  realities  in  missionary 
life  ;  there  are  high  and  holy  duties  to  be  performed ;  and  he  whose 
sufficiency  is  not  of  God  will  soon  grow  weary. 

Mere  human  energy  shall  fail, 

And  youthful  vigor  cease, 
But  those  who  wait  upon  the  Lord, 

In  strength  shall  still  increase.' 

"  I  have  often  quoted  a  promise  we  cannot  test  too  fully,  and  ■  I 
will  quote  it  again:  'In  all  thy  ways  acknowledge  Him,  and  He 
shall  direct  thy  paths.'  I  have  desired  that  you  might  be  a  foreign 
missionary,  that  you  might  be  endued  with  a  spirit  which  would 
make  you  willing  to  be  any  thing,  to  labor  any  where.  Therefore, 
I  bid  you  '  God  speed'  in  every  prayer  and  every  eiFort  for  the  ex- 
tension of  our  Redeemer's  kingdom."     *     *     * 


1851.]  FOREIGN    MISSIONS.  465 

To  the  same. 

"  March  7th,  1851. 

"  I  suspect,  dear  Robert,  that  my  days  of  letter-writing  are  almost 
over,  since  I  am  scarcely  capable  of  the  eflfort  of  even  a  pencilled 
communication ;  but  a  powerful  impulse  urges  me  to  encourage  you 
to  '  press  towards  the  mark  for  the  prize  of  the  high  calling  of  God 
in  Christ  Jesus.'  Earnest  is  my  desire  that,  if  our  Father  have 
indeed  inspired  you  with  a  missionary  spirit,  you  may  '  confer  not 
with  flesh  and  blood,'  but  may  receive  a  blessed  answer  to  the  con- 
tinual petition,  *  Lord,  what  wilt  Thou  have  me  to  do  ?'  I  do  not 
observe  in  your  letters  any  deficiency  in  simplicity  of  heart,  but  am 
thankful  that  you  anticipate  labor  and  self-denial  in  our  Redeemer's 
service  as  a  privilege  of  which  you  are  not  worthy,  and  well  may  you 
employ  these  terms.  If  St.  Paul  was  astonished  at  the  condescen- 
sion which  permitted  him  to  cast  his  powerful  intellect  and  carefully 
accumulated  stores  of  learning  into  the  service  of  his  Redeemer;  if 
this  once  proud  Pharisee  exclaimed,  *  Unto  me,  who  am  less  than 
the  least  of  all  saints,  is  this  grace  given,  that  I  should  preach  among 
the  Gentiles  the  unsearchable  riches  of  Christ,* — it  does  not  seem 
too  much  that  you,  or  any  of  your  fellow-students,  or  indeed  the 
most  useful  and  able  of  those  who  have  been  already  commissioned 
to  proclaim  the  Gospel,  should  expend  all  the  talent  and  strength 
God  may  have  given  you  in  persuading  Ethiopia  to  '  stretch  out  her 
hands  unto  God.'  Your  companions,  who  have  united  with  you  in 
imploring  direction  upon  this  important  subject,  are  often  remembered 
in  my  prayers. 

"  I  do  not  believe  that  a  true-hearted  missionary  ever  went  to 
heathen  shores,  who  did  not  first  encounter  vigorous  opposition  from 
'  the  world,  the  flesh  and  the  devil.'  This  is,  indeed,  an  offensive 
war  upon  the  kingdom  of  darkness.  Satan  is  not  willing  that  his 
iron  bands  should  be  displaced,  that  our  Redeemer's  easy  yoke  may 
be  their  substitute.  Society,  so  ready  to  applaud  the  enterprising 
spirit  of  the  young  man  who  goes  to  distant  climes  to  seek  wealth  or 
learning,  or  to  shed  human  blood,  grieves  greatly  over  him  who 
wastes  his  energies  and  risks  his  life  in  pointing  the  poor  heathen  to 
the  only  true  riches,  the  most  important  knowledge  and  the  blood 
which  was  shed  for  him.  Yes,  and  the  heart  also  must  surely 
whisper  many  suggestions  which  require  the  resistance  of  the  martyr, 
who  saw  his  wife  and  children,  as  he  passed  on  to  the  fire  which  was 
to  remove  him  from  their  sight,  and  exclaimed,  striking  his  breast, 
'Flesh,  stay  thou!'  It  is  a  glorious  privilege  to  be  a  missionary, 
2e 


466  LETTERS.  [1851. 

and  if  the  Father  of  the  fatherless  should  thus  favor  my  orphan 
cousin,  I  will  bid  him  God  speed.  I  do  not  mean  that  I  expect  to 
be  among  the  friends  to  whom  you  will  say  farewell,  but  will  give 
you  my  parting  salutation  now.  It  is  only  if  the  Lord  will,  I  would 
have  it  thus. 

"  In  spirit,  dear  Eobert,  always  press  onward.  Simplicity  of  faith, 
peculiar  holiness  of  life  and  untiring  zeal  are  the  blessings  I  desire 
for  you.  'Add  to  your  faith  virtue,  and  to  virtue  knowledge,'  is  a 
wise  injunction.  That  you  may  be  a  diligent  student,  not  only  of 
the  most  important  branch  of  clerical  education  —  experimental  reli- 
gion —  but  of  the  most  scriptural  system  of  divinity,  is  among  my 
hopes  and  expectations.  There  is  so  much  diluted  theology,  that  I 
am  increasingly  solicitous  that  you  should  carry  into  the  pulpit  the 
very  essence  of  the  Gospel.  You  know  it  is  my  belief  that  this  is  to 
be  found  in  the  imputed  righteousness  of  Christ.  I  have  always 
found  that  the  sermons  and  books  which  have  most  adequately  met 
my  spiritual  necessities,  have  been  those  in  which  this  theology  is 
most  clearly  unfolded. 

"  Great  is  my  appreciation  of  the  privileges  you  enjoy  in  the  Insti- 
tution which  you  correctly  estimate  as  a  more  happy  home  than  any 
you  have  ever  had.  I  regard  it  as  a  military  college,  in  which  many 
a  soldier  of  the  cross  is  wisely  preparing  for  the  battle-field.  Whilst 
you  carefully  investigate,  and  greatly  prize  our  scriptural  and  apos- 
tolic ecclesiastical  organization,  you  are  chiefly  desirous  to  learn  to 
sound  the  story  of  redeeming  love  in  tones  so  clear,  so  gentle  and  so 
penetrating,  that  the  obdurate  heart  shall  be  broken  and  the  wounded 
bound  up.     *     *     * 

"And  now  I  will  speak  of  the  event  which  has  caused  us  all  to 
feel  so  deeply :  the  transplantation  of  the  fair  flower  which  was  unfold- 
ing so  beautifully  —  our  sweet  little  Horace.  You  can  scarcely  ima- 
gine how  increasingly  attractive  he  had  become.  His  intellectual 
development  was  considered  very  precocious,  and  his  health  had 
greatly  improved.  His  mother  was  more  and  more  successful  in  her 
attempts  to  teach  him  to  obey,  and  we  expected  him  to  be  blest  and 
be  a  blessing.  Nor  are  we  disappointed.  The  gentle  Shepherd  of 
Israel  extended  His  arm  of  love,  and  drew  this  little  one  into  His 
own  immediate  presence  that  He  might  grant  him  all  good,  and  I 
trust  his  removal  will  teach  many  a  lesson  of  profit.  His  parents 
are  submissive  and  greatly  comforted,  but  their  heart-strings  are 
bleeding."     *     *     * 


1851.]  LETTERS.  467 

To  Rev.  Dr.  N. 

"January  31st,  1851. 

"  I  am  glad  to  have  a  little  strength  this  evening,  that  I  may  at 
least  commence  the  letter  I  have  so  long  wished  to  write  to  my 
greatly  valued  friend.  A  slate  and  pencil,  with  my  sister's  services 
as  copyist,  are  my  facilities  for  the  accomplishment  of  this  desire, 
but  how  much  more  would  I  enjoy  a  visit  from  you  this  evening, 
how  much  rather  have  you  talk  with  me  of  '  the  hope  of  Israel !' 

"  I  value  the  society  of  my  friends  in  proportion  to  the  profitable- 
ness of  our  intercourse,  and  review  with  pleasure  our  many  happy 
interviews.  We  talked  of  the  immutability  of  Jehovah,  and  beheld 
His  glory  in  the  face  of  Jesus  Christ. 

''  If  your  painful  separation  from  so  many  friends  be  the  means, 
through  our  Father's  great  love,  of  conveying  these  precious  truths 
to  some  of  the  immortal  beings  who  surround  you,  how  rejoiced  and 
thankful  you  will  be  !  and  it  is  impossible  that  the  faithful  proclama- 
tion of  the  Gospel  be  unaccompanied  with  rich  results;  'for  as  much 
as  ye  know  that  your  labor  is  not  in  vain  in  the  Lord.'  Oh,  that 
you  may  be  enriched  with  all  utterance,  and  draw  so  largely  from 
'  the  wells  of  salvation,'  that  you  shall  have  copious  draughts  to  pre- 
sent to  thirsty  pilgrims  who  come  to  you  for  refreshment.  There  is 
much  controversy  in  the  Church,  and  much  conformity  to  the  world. 
It  is  cheering  to  listen  to  the  Gospel  clarion,  rising  with  its  full, 
clear  notes  above  discordant  sounds,  tuning  its  oft-repeated  melody — 
'  Glory  to  God  in  the  highest,  peace  on  earth  and  good-will  to  men.' 
And  is  not  he  greatly  privileged  who  brings  this  music  to  the  weary 
ones  of  earth,  who  tells  them  of  a  Saviour  '  mighty  to  save  and  strong 
to  deliver'  ? 

"  I  am  thankful  that  the  Lord  has  enabled  you  to  be  a  cheerful 
giver  to  this  glorious  service,  and  trust  you  will  find  encouragement 
on  your  way  to  Heaven.  Do  remind  the  invalids  of  Toplady's 
beautiful  hymn  —  'When  languor  and  disease  invade.'  It  is  very 
expressive. 

"  Wilberforce  says  he  would  rather  go  to  Heaven  bearing  Hannah 
More's  '  Shepherd  of  Salisbury  Plain,'  than  all  the  novels  Sir  Walter 
Scott  ever  wrote,  and  I  am  very  sure  that  we  are  under  greater  obli- 
gations to  Toplady  for  his  three  hymns,  '  Rock  of  Ages,'  *  Deathless 
Principle,'  and  the  one  I  have  already  mentioned,  than  to  the  author 
of  the  most  sublime  poem  which  has  not  the  glory  of  our  Heavenly 
Father  for  its  object,  and  the  all-suflBciency  of  our  Saviour  for  its 


468  A    SHARP    AFFLICTION.  "      [1851. 

theme.  Ob,  that  intellect  were  always  consecrated  !  Oh,  that  the 
treasures  of  wisdom  and  knowledge  which  are  hid  in  Christ  were 
more  diligently  sought ! 

"  Since  I  know  that  this  investigation  will  be  the  employment  of 
a  glorified  eternity,  I  take  little  interest  in  the  speculative  views  of  a 
future  state  with  which  philosophers  would  furnish  us.  'Father,  I 
will  that  they  also  whom  Thou  hast  given  me  be  with  me  where  I 
am,  that  they  may  behold  the  glory  which  Thou  hast  given  me.' 

"  I  suppose  your  dear  mother  is  learning  more  and  more  of  this 
blessed  Saviour  as  she  awaits  a  welcome  to  His  immediate  presence. 
Do  tell  me  much  of  her  when  you  write.     *     *     * 

Another  domestic  affliction  pierced  the  heart  of  Miss  Alli- 
bone,  so  alive  to  others'  griefs.  The  loss  by  a  beloved  sister 
of  her  only  child,  was  the  occasion  of  the  following  most 
touching  letter,  so  deep  in  its  tenderness,  so  effectual  in  its 
consolation.  The  blow  to  her  sensitive  soul  was  a  sore  and 
heavy  one ;  but  however  roughly  the  harp-strings  might  be 
struck,  they  only  gave  out  the  same  sweet  harmony  of  holy 
peace  and  loving  acquiescence. 

To  her  Sister  E. 

"Feb.  19,  1851. 

"  Until  I  had  prepared  this  paper  to  write  to  you,  my  dear,  dear 
sister,  I  did  not  trust  myself  to  read  the  note  sister  F.  brought  into 
ray  room,  nor  did  I  know  it  was  from  you.  I  did  not  ask,  '  How  is 
Horace  ?'  for  I  knew  the  precious  child  was  well  forever.  I  inquired 
nothing,  but  I  lifted  up  my  heart  in  prayer,  for  I  needed  very  much 
the  help  I  always  find  in  time  of  need. 

"  Oh  !  how  strange  that  so  many  tears  should  fall  when  God  has 
granted  me  so  great  a  blessing  —  even  the  salvation  of  my  sister's 
only  child,  who  is,  indeed,  'bone  of  my  bone  and  flesh  of  my  flesh.' 
I  do  thank  and  bless  and  love  Him  for  this  mercy.  He  has  more 
than  answered  all  my  prayers.  He  loved  our  darling  one  too  well 
to  entrust  him  to  any  earthly  keeping,  however  tender,  however 
prayerful.  We  would  have  it  so.  Father !  we  thank  Thee  that  Thy 
will  is  clone. 

"  I  knew  He  would  be  with  you,  my  poor  child.  I  have  asked 
this  of  Him  again  and  again  with  perfect  confidence.     I  knew  He 


1851.]  CONSOLATION.  469 

would  enable  you  to  glorify  Him,  and  you  will  always  find  Him  '  a 
present  help.'  Only,  dear  E.,  do  not  trust  yourself  to  think  :  turn 
every  thought  to  prayer.  '  Lead  us  not  into  temptation/  is  a  petition 
which  has  often  reminded  me  that  I  must  not  indulge  myself  in 
reflecting  much  upon  the  bereavements  I  have  sustained. 

"  When  your  cherished  one  is  removed  from  you,  remember  '  The 
dead  in  Christ  repose  in  guarded  rest.'  Follow  his  spirit  to  its 
bright  Home.  Oh,  how  sweet  it  will  be  when  you  go  out  of  the 
world  to  be  welcomed  by  your  child  to  a  world  of  glory,  rather  than 
to  leave  him  behind  to  'mourn  for  his  mother;'  for  this  is  sorrow, 
indeed. 

"  I  have  said  nothing  to  my  dear  brother,  but  trust  '  the  Holy 
Ghost,  the  Comforter/  has  spoken  to  his  aching  heart.  Dear  brother 
F.,  this  is  a  great  sorrow.  You  have  loved  to  tell  me  of  the  engaging 
words  of  your  dear  child,  and  your  house  will  seem  very  desolate; 
but  if  you  could  listen  for  one  moment  to  the  song  of  praise  your 
boy  is  singing,  you  would  forget  to  weep.  God  will  be  with  you 
both — witb  us  all,  for  Jesus'  sake.  How  much  we  owe  to  redeem- 
ing love  !  This  is  another  blood-bought  victory.  It  is  the  white 
robe  of  the  Lamb  which  covers  our  dear  little  Horace.  And  now 
the  benefit !     Lord,  be  Thou  our  Teacher. 

"  Do  not  feel  anxious  about  me  :  you  know  I  am  always  comforted. 
Come  to  see  me  as  soon  as  it  will  be  proper.  My  heart  yearns  over 
you  with  inexpressible  affection.  How  much  more  is  our  great  High 
Priest  '  touched  with  a  feeling  of  our  infirmities.'  He  knows  all  the 
exquisite  sensibilities  of  a  mother's  heart.  Does  not  Scripture  tell 
us  much,  when  it  records  —  'God  so  loved  the  world  that  He  gave 
His  only  begotten  Son'  ? 

"And  now,  farewell !  Oh  !  would  not  our  blessed  faith  be  worth 
much,  if  it  were  only  for  such  an  hour  as  this  !" 

From  her  Diary. 

^'/Sunday,  March  2d,  1851. — Almost  two  weeks  have 
passed  since  our  sweet  little  H.  was  received  into  the  upper 
sanctuary.  This  blessing  we  received  with  many  tears.  He 
was  a  lovely  child,  and  I  am  thankful  he  is  so  near  the  Friend 
of  little  children. 

"  Does  the  Christian,  who  is  sustained  in  the  hour  of  be- 
reavement, require  any  further  testimony  of  the  truth  of  our 

40 


470  CHRISTIAN    BIOGRAPHIES.  [1851. 

holy  religion  ?  Does  he  require  to  read  books  of  Evidence  ? 
Oh,  howl  pity  —  not  the  sceptic,  only — but  him  who  refuses 
to  appropriate  the  Gospel !  '  The  Lord  is  my  portion,  saith 
my  soul.' 

'■'■Marcli  ^th.  —  One  very  affecting  thought  has  been  often 
impressed  upon  my  mind :  '  The  Fathe;.'  of  mercies  enables 
me  to  glory  in  my  infirmities,  that  the  power  of  Christ  may 
rest  upon  me.'  He  comes  promptly  to  my  aid  in  the  hour 
of  need,  or  rather  is  already  with  me.  When  I  am  too  weak 
to  speak  or  even  to  think  with  energy,  I  rest  upon  my 
Saviour,  and  find  him  all  I  need.  But  how  do  I.  requite  this 
kindness  ? 

"  I  have  been  listening  with  deep  interest  to  Dr.  Gordon's 
life.  The  simplicity  of  his  faith  during  his  illness  and  in 
his  last  moments  is  instructive  and  delightful ;  but  I  feel 
almost  afraid  that  the  speculative  spirit  of  his  earlier  life  was 
ascribed  too  much  to  an  ardent  love  of  truth  and  superiority 
of  intellect,  rather  than  to  the  true  source  of  all  hesitation  to 
receive  the  truths  of  Scripture  —  a  deficiency  in  humility  and 
teachableness  of  spirit. 

"  However,  both  he  and  his  biographer  say  much  of  the 
importance  of  coming  to  Jesus  as  a  little  child,  and  I  think 
his  testimony  will  do  much  for  the  cause  of  Christianity. 
Oh,  that  his  whole  life  had  been  as  full  of  the  Gospel  as  his 
last  hours  !  But,  alas  !  who  t3an  say  that  his  whole  life  has 
been  given  to  the  service  of  our  best  Friend  ? 

"Dear  sister  has  also  been  reading  to  me  the  Life  of  the 
Rev.  Henry  Owen.  '  Fervent  in  spirit,  serving  the  Lord.' 
I  enjoyed  this  book  greatly.  I  like  those  books  best  in  which 
there  is  most  of  the  Saviour. 

''May  14tL — '  The  Lamb  is  the  light  thereof.'  How  little 
I  prize  the  theology  to  which  this  description  does  not  apply ! 
If  our  Redeemer's  presence  will  constitute  the  happiness  of 
heaven,  why  should  it  not  be  sought  all  the  way  thither — in 
intercouse,  in  books  —  every  where?" 


1851.]         ENTRANCE    UPON    TKE    MINISTRY.  471 

Notes. 

'^Feh.  9th,  1851.  — S.  is  delighted  with  the  Life  of  the  Rev. 
H.  Owen,  and  looks  forward  to  meeting  him  in  Heaven.  She 
said  that  the  death  of  Dr.  Bedell  taught  her  a  deep  lesson. 
That  she  was  very  enthusiastic,  and  inclined  to  lean  upon  an 
arm  of  flesh. 

^'3Iareh  15th.  —  The  glass  being  given  her  to  arrange  her 
hair,  she  repeated,  '  For  we  know  that  if  our  earthly  house 
of  this  tabernacle  be  dissolved.*  'It  looks  very  much  like 
being  dissolved,'  she  continued.  She  spoke  of  her  pleasant 
room,  but  said  it  was  only  a  tent  in  the  wilderness,  and 
repeated  the  passage,  '  He  looked  for  a  city  which  hath 
foundations.'  " 

To  Rev.  31r.  D. 

"May  10,  1851. 

''If  a  less  mechanical  medium  of  expression  had  been  at  my  com- 
mand, dear  Mr.  D.,  you  would  have  long  since  received  my  cordial 
congratulations  upon  your  entrance  into  the  ministry.  It  is  indeed 
a  privilege  to  be  commissioned  to  proclaim  the  truths  which  have  so 
long  sustained  your  own  spirit  —  to  say  to  lost  sinners,  'We  have 
seen  and  do  testify  that  the  Father  sent  the  Son  to  be  the  Saviour 
of  the  world.' 

"  Oh  !  that  the  Holy  Ghost  may  give  unto  you,  and  all  other 
'  stewards  of  His  mysteries,'  ability  to  unfold  the  wonders  of  redeem- 
ing love  with  all  the  clearness  and  simplicity  which  are  required  by 
the  necessities  of  the  Church  and  the  world !  'The  truth  as  it  is  in 
Jesus !  Oh,  how  much  does  this  expression  comprehend !  How 
inexhaustible  a  subject  of  instruction  and  enjoyment  the  tree  of 
knowledge  upon  whose  branches  the  aspiring  spirit  may  sit  with 
folded  wing,  whilst  she  rejoices  that  the  object  of  pursuit  has  been 
fully  gained;  and  then,  wondering  at  the  parados  of  insatiable  satis- 
faction, ascend  higher  and  still  higher  to  gather  from  each  bough 
more  delicious  fruit,  and  repose  beneath  more  refreshing  shade  ! 
And  thus,  as  she  soars  on  throughout  the  ages  of  eternity,  will  the 
summit  be  still  beyond  her,  for  God  is  infinite,  and  progression  an 
element  of  happiness.      Can  we  ask  more  ? 

'  The  bird  that  soars  -with  highest  wing, 
Builds  on  the  ground  her  lowly  nest.' 


472  LETTERS.  [1851. 

And  thus  the  recipient  of  salvation  sits  at  His  blaster's  feet  until  he 
be  elevated  to  a  world  of  glory.  Your  appreciation  of  humility,  and 
desire  for  its  attainment,  is  a  proof  that  you  *  covet  earnestly  the  best 
gifts.'  Whilst  I  pray  that  your  posture  may  be  so  lowly  that  you 
cannot  be  cast  down,  I  again  congratulate  you,  fervently  and  affec- 
tionately, that  you  are  an  ambassador  of  Jesus  Christ !  Oh  !  that 
you  may  be  admitted  into  the  presence-chamber  of  the  King  of 
kings,  and  listen  so  reverently  to  the  royal  message,  that  you  shall 
be  prepared  to  ascend  the  pulpit  with  a  firm  step,  a  glowing  heart, 
and  irresistible  authority ! 

"I  wish  you  could  come  to  my  chamber  of  sickness,  with  renewed 
assurances  of  our  lledeemer's  tenderness.  It  is  true  you  would  speak 
to  one  who  has  long  rejoiced  that  *  Christ  Jesus  came  into  the  world 
to  save  sinners,'  to  one  whose  inmost  soul  would  echo  the  story  of 
His  ability  to  sustain.  His  readiness  to  console;  but  I  would  ever 
listen  to  the  welcome  sound.  I  would  repent  more  deeply  the  sins 
committed  against  such  mercy.  I  would  believe,  love  and  obey  as  I 
have  never  done  before. 

"  If  you  could  be  my  chaplain,  I  would  invite  our  poor  neighbors 
to  gather  around  yon,  and  would  also  collect  some  of  my  affluent 
friends  to  be  told  that  they  possess  nothing."     *     *     * 

To  a  Young  Relative. 

"  I  often  think  with  interest  of  my  dear  ,  who  sometimes 

visited  me  last  summer,  and  for  whom  I  then  determined  I  would 
pray  very  often.  Does  thee  wonder,  dear,  that  thy  spiritual  welfare 
should  be  to  me  an  object  of  so  much  deep  solicitude  ?     I  feel  that 

the  children  of  my  beloved have  a  peculiar  claim   upon  my 

prayers  and  sympathies,  and  it  is  my  earnest  desire  also,  that  all  to 
whom  I  am  related  by  the  ties  of  kindred  should  belong  to  the  house- 
hold of  faith.  Then  too,  dear,  thee  is  in  the  morning  of  thy  days, 
and  our  Heavenly  Father  has  given  cheering  assurances  to  the  youth- 
ful suppliant.  Search  for  these  promises,  and  plead  them  in  prayer. 
'  Wilt  thou  not  from  this  time  cry  unto  Me  T  *  My  Father,  thou  art 
the  guide  of  my  youth.'  '  My  son,  give  me  thine  heart,'  is  the  gentle 
pleading  of  a  Heavenly  Parent's  love.     Let  this  be  thy  response  : 

*  Soon  as  I  heard  my  Father  say, 
My  children  seek  my  grace  — 
My  heart  replied,  without  delay, 
I  '11  seek  my  Father's  face.' 


•1851.]  THE    BEST    KNOWLEDGE.  473 

"There  is  one  respect,  dear,  in  wliicli  we  are  somewhat  similarly 
situated,  and  this  has  often  caused  me  to  think  of  thee  with  great 
tenderness  and  sympathy.  Our  Father  in  Heaven  has  foreseen  that 
it  would  be  best  for  our  immortal  interests  that  we  should  be  deprived 
of  the  buoyancy  of  health,  and  we  have  very  often  found  that  an 
excitable  nervous  system  greatly  interferes  with  the  intellectual  eifort 
we  should  so  much  love  to  make.  Thee  may  imagine  how  much  I 
have  felt  for  thee  when  I  was  informed,  a  week  or  two  since,  that  it 
was  deemed  expedient  thee  should  no  longer  attend  school.  I  remem- 
ber well  how  many  tears  I  shed  when  I  was  subjected  to  this  trial, 
for  it  was  my  earnest  desire  to  acquire  vast  stores  of  information. 
But  I  felt  even  then  there  was  one  subject  of  investigation  more  im- 
portant than  all  the  resources  of  human  literature;  that  there  is  a 
path  in  which  even  a  weary  pilgrim  might  walk;  and  thither  the 
Holy  Spirit  directed  my  steps.  I  have  traversed  it  during  many  years 
of  combined  suffering  and  enjoyment.  Here  I  have  found  the  pearl 
of  great  price,  here  I  explore  the  treasures  of  wisdom  and  knowledge 
which  are  hid  in  Christ  Jesus.  Here  I  am  refreshed  by  the  influences 
of  the  Holy  Spirit,  and  have  learned  to  count  all  things  but  loss  for  the 
excellency  of  the  knowledge  of  Christ  Jesus  my  Lord.  And  this  is 
not  a  solitary  way,  for  the  Lord  is  my  Shepherd,  He  maketh  me  to 
lie  down  in  green  pastures,  He  leadethme  beside  the  still  waters. 
Will  not  my  dear  young  friend  share  my  journey  and  my  repose  ? 
Will  not  thee  even  now,  on  bended  knee  and  with  lifted  heart,  offer 
the  petition,  '  Lead  me  in  the  way  everlasting.'  Jesus  hath  said, 
'  I  am  the  Way,  the  Truth  and  the  Life.'  Come  to  Him  then  with 
every  sin  and  corruption  of  thy  heart;  implore  pardoning  mercy  and 
sanctifying  grace.  In  every  moment  of  depression  remember  that 
our  Saviour  has  promised,  *  In  me  ye  shall  have  peace.'  To  the 
weary  and  heavy-laden  He  hath  said  kindly,  '  I  will  give  you  rest.' 

"Is  not  the  Bible  most  wonderfully  adapted  to  our  necessities? 
It  speaks  pardon  to  the  sinner,  consolation  to  the  wounded  spirit; 
and  we  learn  from  its  pages  that  it  is  not  needful  that  we  should 
yield  for  one  moment  to  impatience  or  despondency,  for  there  it  is 
recorded,  '  My  grace  is  sufficient  for  thee,  and  my  strength  is  made 
perfect  in  weakness.' 

"Oh  that  we  may  ever  imitate  the  example  of  our  meek  and  lowly 
Saviour,  and  let  us  trace  His  image  in  the  character  of  thy  dear  de- 
parted sister.  I  love  to  think  of  the  placid  countenance  which  told 
of  the  peace  that  passeth  understanding.  She  came,  with  shattered 
nerves  and  debilitated  constitution,  to  Him  who  is  touched  with  a 

40* 


474  LETTERS.  [1851. 

feeling  of  our  infirmities.  His  unutterable  love  cheered  her  earthly 
pilgrimage,  and  it  is  her  light  in  heaven.  God  has  wiped  away  all 
tears  from  her  eyes,  and  if  she  could  speak  to  us  from  her  throne  of 
glory,  would  she  not  tell  us  to  pray  for  grace  to  glorify  our  Heavenly 
Father  by  meek  submission  to  His  holy  will,  and  to  prove  the  suf- 
ficiency of  His  grace,  by  the  blessed  '  fruits  of  the  Spirit — love,  joy, 
peace,  long-suffering,  gentleness,  goodness  and  faith.' 

"  How  much  it  would  please  me  to  receive  a  reply  to  this  letter, 
which  I  have  employed  my  sister's  pen  to  write. 

"  Believe  me,  dear,  with  prayerful  affection,  thine. 

To  a  Young  Lady. 

"  I  have  felt  a  desire  to  direct  your  attention  to  a  Friend  that 
'sticketh  closer  than  a  brother,'  to  Him  who  is  indeed  the  <balm  of 
Gilead,'  who  waits  to  minister  healing  to  the  wounded  heart.  During 
many  years  of  physical  suffering  I  have  calmly  and  peacefully  trusted 
in  His  love.  In  the  hour  of  bereavement,  and  in  the  anticipation 
of  death,  in  'looking  unto  Jesus'  I  have  found  effectual  consolation. 
Many  years  have  passed  since  I  have  been  able  to  mingle  with  the 
busy  scenes  of  life,  nor  do  I  anticipate  the  return  of  health  and 
activity.  '  The  Lord  is  my  portion,  saith  my  soul,  therefore  do  I 
hope  in  Him,'  and  this  is  the  portion  I  would  wish  for  all  around 
me.     Have  you  ever  felt  your  need  of  a  Saviour's  love,  dear  Miss 

?     Have  you  ever  realized  that  all  the  ties  of  earth  must  at 

last  be  severed,  that  all  its  day-dreams  must  pass  away  and  be  suc- 
ceeded by  the  realities  of  the  eternal  world  ?  Oh,  have  you  remem- 
bered that  we  must  all  stand  before  the  judgment-seat  of  Christ,  and 
in  the  presence  of  the  Most  High  acknowledge  our  manifold  trans- 
gressions against  His  most  Holy  laws  ?  Has  the  solemn  question, 
<  What  must  I  do  to  be  saved  V  been  succeeded  by  the  earnest 
prayer,  '  God  be  merciful  to  me  a  sinner !'  and  has  this  petition  been 
offered  in  His  name,  for  whose  sake  alone  we  hope  to  receive  mercy  ? 
If  not,  permit  me  affectionately  to  persuade  you  to  survey  yourself 
in  the  mirror  of  God's  law,  and  thence  to  repair  to  the  Lamb  of  God 
which  taketh  away  the  sin  of  the  world.  If  you  will  only  come  to 
this  precious  Saviour,  you  will  realize  more  happiness  than  your 
youthful  imagination  has  ever  pictured,  and  if  you  wish  to  know  how 
to  come,  the  blessed  Bible  will  give  you  the  teaching  you  require.  I 
refer  you  to  the  11th  chapter  of  St.  Luke  for  a  very  gracious  assur- 
ance of  our  Heavenly  Father's  willingness  to  grant  His  Holy  Spirit 
in  answer  to  fervent  prayer. 


1851."!  LETTERS.  475 

"  We  have  all  sinned  and  come  sliort  of  the  glory  of  God.  If  it 
■were  not  so,  we  would  not  need  the  Saviour's  cleansing  blood.  If 
you  have  an  experimental  realization  of  these  truths,  you  will  appre- 
ciate the  motives  which  dictate  this  expression  of  my  interest ;  but 
if  it  should  appear  intrusive,  you  will  pardon  the  liberty  which  has 
been  taken  by  one  who  has  been  so  long  an  invalid.  How  much  I 
should  be  gratified  by  an  early  reply  to  this  very  unexpected  commu- 
nication. 

"  Believe  me,  with  sincere  interest." 

To  a  Friend  J  on  Recovery  from  Illness. 

"  Permit  me  to  make  you  an  epistolary  visit,  ray  dear  friend,  since 
I  cannot  be  one  of  those  who  have  given  you  a  verbal  expression  of 
sympathy.  I  will  not  be  prevented  from  doing  this  by  my  inability 
to  write  my  own  letters,  since  the  pen  of  dear  sister  F.  is  at  my  ser- 
vice. I  have  thought  of  you  with  much  solicitude,  and  earnest  is  my 
desire  that  the  dangerous  illness  which  has  reminded  your  friends 
how  tenderly  they  love  you,  may  prove  the  most  blessed  event  of 
your  life.  I  know  you  have  realized  your  dependence  upon  the 
Almighty,  and  I  trust  your  heart  is  now  surrendered  to  His  service 
so  unreservedly,  that  you  will  be  thankful  that  He  has  given  you  an 
opportunity  of  yielding  obedience  to  our  Redeemer's  command,  that 
His  disciples  should  confess  Him  before  men.  You  have  always 
listened  patiently  when  I  have  persuaded  you  to  come  to  that  Sa- 
viour who  has  filled  my  heart  with  consolation,  and  I  thank  you  for 
this,  for  in  speaking  to  you  of  these  subjects  I  have  not  assumed  a 
right,  but  claimed  a  privilege.  These  efibrts  have  often  been  very 
painful  to  me,  for  I  did  not  wish  to  appear  presumptuous,  but  I  do 
not  believe  you  have  thought  me  so.  Nor  need  I  fear  that  I  shall 
now  displease  you  when  I  tell  you  that  tears  are  in  my  eyes,  and 
solicitude  in  my  heart.  If  it  were  in  my  power  I  would  gladly 
hasten  to  you,  and  ask  you  if  you  have  not  said  to  our  merciful 
Saviour, 

*  Here,  Lord,  I  give  myself  away, 
'Tis  all  that  I  can  do'? 

If  this  be  the  language  of  your  heart,  you  have  learned  a  blessed 
lesson,  which  human  wisdom  and  systems  of  theology  cannot  teach — 
even  the  experimental  knowledge  of  your  own  helplessness,  and  the 
all-sufficiency  of  Christ. 


476  LETTERS.  [1851. 

'  This  is  the  way  I  long  had  sought, 
And  mourned  because  I  found  it  not; 
Till  late  I  heard  the  Saviour  say, 
Come  hither,  soul,  I  am  the  way. 

'  And  lo  !  I  come,  and  Tiiou,  blest  Lamb, 
Shalt  take  me  to  Thee  as  I  am  ; 
Nothing  but  sin  I  Thee  can  give, 
Nothing  but  grace  I  shall  receive.' 

"  How  different  are  the  promptings  of  our  nature  !  They  teach 
that  self-improvement  must  be  our  preparation  for  acceptance  with 
God,  and  would  urge  us  to  repent  more  deeply,  to  believe  more  sim- 
ply, and  to  yield  more  implicit  obedience,  before  we  presume  to  ap- 
propriate the  merits  of  the  Redeemer.  I  will  send  you  a  little  book 
upon  this  subject,  which  has  been  very  useful  to  some  of  my  friends, 
and  to  which  I  attach  peculiar  value. 

"  I  know  you  are  reserved,  dear  friend,  but  if  indeed  you  have  in 
secret  given  your  heart  to  God,  I  trust  you  will  not  defer  the  public 
acknowledgment  of  this  consecration.  I  recollect  to  have  once  heard 
a  remark  in  reference  to  Nicodemus  and  Joseph  of  Ariniathea,  one 
of  whom  '  came  to  Jesus  by  night,'  and  the  other  'was  a  disciple, 
but  secretly,  for  fear  of  the  Jews.'  When  the  Saviour,  whom  they 
had  feared  to  acknowledge,  was  crucified,  they  no  longer  hesitated  to 
own  their  allegiance,  and  the  preacher  said  that  it  must  be  always 
thus  with  the  true  disciples  of  Jesus.  For  a  season,  they  may  hesi- 
tate to  avow  their  sentiments,  but  if  their  faith  be  genuine,  it  will 
be  at  last  confessed. 

"  Surely  so  affectionate  a  yarcnt  as  you  would  bo  no  longer  willing 
to  withhold  from  his  children  the  example  by  which  they  will  be 
the  most  powerfully  influenced.  That  your  dying  hour,  when  it 
shall  really  come,  may  be  one  of  unclouded  spiritual  joy,  and  unfal- 
tering testimony  to  the  Redeemer's  power  to  save,  is  the  heartfelt 
prayer  of  your  S.  A." 

To  Mrs.  31 

"  How  gladly  would  I  accompany  our  friend  Eliza  when  she  visits 
you,  dear  Madam,  if  it  were  in  my  power  to  do  so  !  She  speaks  of 
you  so  often  and  so  affectionately,  that  I  scarcely  realize  that  you 
are  a  stranger,  and  very  much  should  I  love  to  read  to  you,  and  cheer 
your  hours  of  solitude,  but  I  too  am  an  invalid,  and  our  Heavenly 
Father  has  appointed  that  I  should  receive  rather  than  impart  offices 


1851.]  LETTERS.  477 

of  kindness.  My  thoughts  are  often  with  you,  for  I  am  aware  that 
wearisome  days  and  nights  of  suffering  are  appointed  you.  Is  it  not 
a  comfort  to  trace,  in  all  our  physical  infirmities-,  the  wise  discipline 
of  a  Heavenly  Father's  love  ?  He  knows  our  proneness  to  rest  upon 
created  good,  and  places  us  in  a  position  in  which  we  can  better  view 
the  promised  land.  If  we  had  never  wept,  we  could  not  have  real- 
ized the  sweetness  of  the  promise,  '  God  shall  wipe  away  all  tears 
from  their  eyes.'  If  we  had  never  suffered,  we  should  not  so  fully 
rejoice  in  the  assurance,  that  '  we  have  not  an  High  Priest  which 
cannot  be  touched  with  a  feeling  of  our  infirmities.'  How  welcome 
to  the  children  of  sorrow  His  blessed  mission  to  heal  the  broken- 
hearted, and  to  bind  up  all  their  wounds  !  How  composing  to  the 
spirit  to  know  too  that  we  can  bring  all  our  sins  to  this  merciful 
Redeemer,  that  though  our  wanderings  have  been  so  many,  and  so 
entire  our  inability  to  fulfil  the  requirements  of  God's  law,  the  be- 
liever need  not  fear :  he  is  accepted  in  the  Beloved  !     I  trust,  dear 

Mrs. ,  that  ive  are  thus  regarded  by  the  Most  High,  that  we 

'  have  fled  for  refuge  to  lay  hold  of  the  hope  set  before  us.'  Accept 
my  grateful  appreciation  of  the  kind  feeling  you  have  evinced.  I 
am  not  surprised  that  you  so  much  admire  Bradley's  sermons ;  they 
are  indeed  deeply  interesting. 

''  That  '  the  peace  of  God,  which  passeth  understanding,'  may  ever 
be  your  portion,  is  the  sincere  petition  of  one  who  feels  for  you  the 
most  unfeigned  sympathy,  and  is,  very  respectfully,  yours." 

To  a  Young  Person  in  Ill-health. 

"  I  wish  you  were  resting  upon  the  sofa  in  my  quiet  room,  dear 
C.  I  have  thought  of  you  so  often,  and  prayed  for  you  so  much, 
that  a  visit  from  you  would  give  me  great  pleasure.  With  the  older 
members  of  your  family  I  am  well  acquainted,  but  you  are  an  object 
of  peculiar  interest,  because  I  believe  it  is  a  cord  of  love  which  con- 
fines you  to  a  recumbent  posture,  and  am  very  desirous  that  you 
should  accept  the  invitation,  'My  son,  give  me  thy  heart!'  If  you 
will  listen  to  the  voice  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  if  you  will  pray  earnestly 
that  His  influences  may  be  granted  you  more  and  more,  if  you  will 
seek  to  be  united  to  our  blessed  Saviour  as  the  branch  is  united  to 
the  vine,  if  you  be  admitted  into  the  spiritual  family  of  God  and 
taught  to  call  Him  Father,  you  will  learn  the  full  meaning  of  that 
passage  of  Scripture,  '  With  joy  shall  ye  draw  water  out  of  the  wells 
of  salvation.' 


478  LETTERS.  [1851. 

"You  are  not  too  young  to  seek  a  change  of  heart;  you  are  not 
too  young  to  enjoy  the  peaceful  communion  with  your  Maker  which 
will  more  than  compensate  for  all  the  deprivations  you  endure,  shed 
a  bright  light  upon  your  future  life  and  cheer  your  dying  hour.  And 
does  not  your  safety,  as  well  as  your  happiness,  require  your  imme- 
diate acceptance  of  the  offers  of  salvation  ? 

"  Do  you  read  the  Bible,  dear  C.,  with  as  much  attention  as  though 
its  instructions  had  been  given  to  you  alone  ?  Do  you  compare  your 
conduct  and  character  with  the  holy  law  of  God  ?  Have  you  ever 
inquired  whether  the  blessings  promised  to  the  poor  in  spirit,  the 
meek,  the  merciful,  the  pure  in  heart,  can  be  claimed  by  you?  Have 
you  carefully  examined  the  ten  commandments,  to  see  if  you  have 
kept  them  all  ?  Are  you  conscious,  my  dear  boy,  that  young  as  you 
are,  you  have  greatly  sinned  against  the  kind  Heavenly  Father  M'ho 
has  given  you  so  many  blessings  ?  And  do  you  also  feel  that  you 
are  utterly  unable  to  make  yourself  worthy  of  His  favor,  since  your 
heart  '  is  deceitful  above  all  things  and  desperately  wicked  ?'  I  wish 
you  had  all  these  feelings,  for  *  there  is  a  sorrow  which  worketh  re- 
pentance not  to  be  repented  of/  and  'Blessed  are  they  that  mourn, 
for  they  shall  be  comforted.' 

"  It  is  only  when  we  feel  our  sinfulness,  that  we  can  appreciate 
the  wonders  of  redeeming  love.  It  is  only  when  we  realize  that  we 
have  no  other  helper  nor  hope,  that  we  rejoice  with  all  our  hearts 
that  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  is  made  to  the  believer,  '  wisdom,  and 
righteousness,  and  sanctification,  and  redemption.'  Will  you  not  thus 
receive  Him,  dear  C?  He  is  a  blessed  Saviour.  Your  father  does 
not  love  you  half  so  well,  and  your  mother's  tenderness  is  not  so 
great.  '  Greater  love  hath  no  man  than  this,  that  a  man  lay  down 
his  life  for  his  friends.'  Oh  that  you  could  enter  into  the  Apostle's 
meaning  when  he  exclaims,  '  The  love  of  Christ  constraineth  us,  be- 
cause we  thus  judge,  that  if  one  died  for  all,  then  were  all  dead,  and 
that  He  died  for  all,  that  they  which  live  should  not  henceforth  live 
unto  themselves,  but  unto  Him  which  died  for  them.'  In  writing 
thus  to  you,  I  do  not  forget  that  you  are  very  young.  Many  disci- 
ples have  sat  at  our  Saviour's  feet  who  have  not  numbered  so  many 
years  as  you;  many  have  been  elevated  to  His  presence  in  Heaven, 
who  rejoice  that  the  blessedness  of  early  piety  was  theirs.  It  is 
mournful  to  look  upon  a  boy  who  is  unreconciled,  unsafe,  unhappy, 
unrestrained.  It  is  cheering  to  the  spirit  to  see  a  young  heart  opened 
to  receive  the  glorious  light  of  the  Gospel,  to  observe  from  day  to 
day  the  strengthening  influence  of  religious  principle.     Oh,  come  to 


1851.]       VISIT    FKOM    AN    AGED    CHRISTIAN.  479 

Him,  whom  to  know  is  peace;  listen  to  His  voice;  He  will  say, 
'  Son,  be  of  good  cheer,  thy  sins  are  forgiven  thee.'  'Peace  be  still  T 
will  hush  the  tumultuous  passions  of  the  youthful  bosom.  Bring 
every  trial,  every  temptation,  to  this  compassionate  Redeemer.  He 
will  never  disappoint  you.  Then,  too,  when  you  have  experienced 
this  happiness,  you  will  desire  it  for  all  around  you ;  you  will  pray 
for  your  younger  brothers  and  sisters;  your  example  will  confirm 
their  conviction  of  the  reality  of  religion,  and  it  is  most  probable  that 
they  will  bless  you  throughout  all  eternity  as  the  instrument  of  win- 
ning them  to  the  service  of  the  King  of  kings.  How  glad  I  should 
be  to  receive  a  letter  from  you,  containing  the  information  that  you 
are  '  seeking  the  Lord  while  He  may  be  found.' 

'  My  faith  looks  up  to  Thee, 
Thou  Lamb  of  Calvary, 

Saviour  Divine  ! 

Oh  hear  mo  when  I  pray, 

Wagh  all  my  sins  away, 

And  let  me  from  this  day 

Be  wholly  thine.' 

"  My  sister  will  copy  this  long  letter,  which  I  have  been  obliged 
to  write  upon  the  slate,  as  I  am  only  able  to  use  my  pencil  very 
carelessly.  I  think  these  little  volumes  will  interest  you.  Accept 
them,  dear  C,  with  the  best  wishes  of  your  friend." 

From  her  Diary. 
"  Sept.  Zd.  —  Even  if  my  eyes  must  suffer  a  little,  I  will 
record  Dr.  B.'s  visit.  He  came  on  Wednesday  afternoon,  and 
we  succeeded  in.  persuading  him  to  pass  the  night  with  us. 
'  The  boary  head  is  a  crown  of  glory,  if  it  be  found  in  the 
way  of  righteousness.'  With  delight  I  listened  to  the  instruc- 
tions of  this  venerable  man.  I  have  a  strong  natural  affection 
for  elderly  people,  and  an  aged  Christian  is  my  delight.  Then 
I  love  Dr.  B.  for  many  reasons.  He  is  a  very  old  friend,  and 
so  warm-hearted  and  gentlemanly.  To  me  he  has  ever  been 
kind  and  profitable.  His  Christian  character  acquires  in- 
creasing dignity  and  elevation.  His  anticipations  of  heaven 
are  very  vivid.  He  expressed  an  ardent  longing  for  a  sum- 
mons to  his  heavenly  home,  and  great  pleasure  in  the  expec- 
tation of  recognising  his  children  who  are  there." 


480  CONVERSATION.  [1851. 

Notes. 

^'■Nov.  lltJi.  —  I  asked  S.  about  her  feelings  during  the 
sinking  attacks  ■which  are  so  frequent  now.  '  What  wonder- 
ful help  He  gives  sometimes  !'  she  replied.  '  "  Gracious  and 
ready  help,"  as  the  Collect  says.'  In  relation  to  her  agonizing 
pain,  she  said  it  was  not  vain  to  seek  the  Lord,  and  that  He 
bore  the  burden  for  her.  She  had  been  praying  that  the  sick 
may  all  be  comforted, — that  they  may  all  seek  the  robe  of 
the  Redeemer's  righteousness. 

"iVbv. —  She  prayed  'that  every  sinful  heart  be  washed  in 
the  blood  of  the  Lamb.  May  missionaries  be  sent,  and  purses 
opened,  and  hearts  filled  with  love  !  And  we  pray  Thee  to 
grant  that  faithful  ambassadors  may  go.  Thou  hast  the 
hearts  of  all  men  in  Thy  hands.' 

"  Speaking  of  the  colored  class,  and  the  importance  of  in- 
structing it,  she  applied  the  following  passage  to  neglect  of 
such  a  duty  :  '  I  was  in  the  prison  of  sin,  and  ye  visited  me 
not ;  I  was  naked,  and  ye  told  me  not  of  the  robe  of  right- 
eousness ;  I  was  athirst,  and  ye  did  not  lead  me  to  the  living 
waters  ;  I  was  hungry,  and  ye  fed  me  not  with  the  bread  of 
life.' 

'■'■Bee.  25th.  —  Looking  at  a  splendid  bouquet  which  had 
been  sent  her,  in  one  of  the  vases  she  had  just  received,  she 
said,  'I  scarcely  ought  to  have-such  beautiful  things.' 

"Dec.  30^A.— News  of  Mr.  Clay's  illness.  She  prayed  for 
him,  that  '  at  evening  time'  there  might  be  much  'light.'  " 


CHAPTER   XXIII. 

1852. 

Letter  on  Missions  to  R.  S.  —  Natural  Affections  strengthened  by 
Grace  —  Letter  to  a  Friend  on  the  Death  of  his  Mother  —  Letters  to 
Friends  in  Europe:  to  R.  S.,  the  Ministry:  to  a  Young  Convert:  to 
a  Prisoner. 

To  R.  S. 

"January  1st,  1852. 

"  It  is  rather  late  to  oflFer  you,  my  dear  cousin,  the  salutations  of 
the  Christmas  and  New  Year  season,  but  they  will  not  be  the  less 
welcome  because  I  have  kept  them  in  my  heart  so  long.     *     *     * 

"  I  am  thankful,  very  thankful,  my  dear  orphan  cousin,  that  hu- 
man sympathy  is  not  your  dependence,  but  that  you  go  through  the 
wildernesa,  '  leaning  upon  the  Beloved.'  It  is  of  comparatively  little 
importance  whether  you  pursue  the  sheltered  path  of  domestic  life, 
or  the  rugged  steps  of  missionary  enterprise,  if  all  your  weight  shall 
rest  upon  the  powerful  arm,  and  your  pilgrimage  be  cheered  by 
sweet,  blessed  companionship. 

"  Your  measure  of  communion  with  our  Redeemer  will  always  be 
the  measure  of  your  happiness,  and  if  His  bidding  remove  you  from 
your  country  and  your  friends,  what  more  can  you  require  than  the 
assurance,  '  My  presence  shall  go  with  thee,  and  I  will  give  thee 
rest'  ? 

"  My  dear  cousin,  pray  for  grace  to  '  endure  hardness  as  a  good 
soldier  of  Jesus  Christ.'  The  battle  will  soon  be  over ;  and  you  will 
not  feel  that  you  have  fought  too  valiantly.  Much  is  said  of  the 
sacrifices  of  missionary  life,  and  they  who  make  them  can  understand 
the  deep  meaning  of  words  and  glances  which  are  to  be  exchanged 
no  more  on  earth.  Our  Father  has  endowed  our  nature  with  strong 
sensibilities,  and  those  who  love  Him-  best  are  not  least  capable  of 
social  afl&nities.  Their  hearts  are  more  tender  and  more  true  to  all 
legitimate  affections,  whilst  they  alone  have  been  attracted  by  the 
2  F  41  (481) 


482  SELF-DISCIPLINE.  [1852. 

stronj^er  and  more  holy  fellowship  of  Christian  love.  It  is,  there- 
fore, true  that  the  Christian  exile  has  a  double  portion  of  sorrow, 
but  '  the  secret  of  the  Lord  is  with  them  that  fear  Him,  and  He 
will  show  them  His  covenant.' 

^^  Saturday.  —  I  received  your  letter  last  evening,  whilst  I  was 
engaged  in  pencilling  my  own  epistle,  but  deferred  its  entire  perusal 
■until  this  morning. 

''You  refer  to  a  subject  which  to  me  is  of  deepest  interest — the 
importance  of  rigid  self-discipline  from  the  earliest  youth.  We  can 
tune  our  notes  of  sorrow  and  self-reproach  upon  the  same  key,  dear 
R.,  but  'if  we  confess  our  sins,  God  is  faithful  and  just  to  forgive 
us  our  sins,  and  to  cleanse  us  from  all  unrighteousness.' 

'*  I  listened,  some  time  since,  to  two  printed  sermons  from  the 
text,  '  The  weapons  of  our  warfare  are  not  carnal,  but  mighty 
through  God  to  the  pulling  down  of  strongholds ;  casting  down  imagi- 
nations, and  every  high  thing  that  exalteth  itself  against  the  know- 
ledge of  God,  and  bringing  into  captivity  every  thought  to  the 
obedience  of  Christ;'  and  was  pleased  with  the  sentiment,  that  if 
we  meet  a  man  remarkable  for  self-command,  and  spiritual  hardi- 
hood, we  may  feel  assured  that  this  victory  has  not  been  achieved 
without  many  a  secret  struggle  with  himself,  and  many  an  earnest 
resistance  of  opposing  circumstances.  I  do  not  quote  this  senti- 
ment vcrhatim,  but  you  will  see  its  force.  I  do  not  like  the  mode 
of  discussing  this  subject  which  employs  so  many  eulogiums  upon 
the  self-exalting  powers  of  our  nature.  Spasmodic  and  unsuccessful 
will  be  our  efforts  until  we  shall  have  been  taught  that  our  spiritual 
and  intellectual  being  requires  the  application  of  regenerating  grace, 
that  our  blessed  Saviour  must  be,  as  Archbishop  Leighton  tells  us, 
'both  the  principle  and  the  pattera  of  our  holiness.'  "     *     *     * 

There  is  a  sentiment  in  the  foregoing  letter  well  worthy 
of  attention,  one  of  the  not  unfrequent  remarks  indicative 
of  the  writer's  insight  into  the  human  heart.  "Those  who 
love  God  are  not  least  capable  of  social  aflSnities.  Their 
hearts  are  more  tender,  and  more  true  to  all  legitimate  affec- 
tions, whilst  they  alone  have  been  attracted  by  the  more 
holy  fellowship  of  Christian  love.  It  is,  therefore,  true  that 
tho  Christian  exile  has  a  double  portion  of  sorrow." 

So  far  is  hallowed  resignation  from  being  akin  to  stoical 
indifference  or  obtuse  insensibility,  that  none  are  so  tenderly 


1852.]  THE    RELATIVE    AFFECTIONS.  483 

alive  to  the  guiltless  affections  of  our  nature  as  the  genuine 
disciples  of  Jesus.  The  tendency  of  sin  is  to  narrow  self- 
engrossment.  The  idolizing  of  a  creature  and  immoderate 
grief  are  but  fruits  of  inordinate  selfishness.  While  the  soul, 
taught  by  the  Holy  Spirit,  returns  a  readier,  purer  and  more 
disinterested  response  to  all  the  demands  of  social  tics  and 
relative  affections.  It  has  access  to  new  and  sufficient  sources 
of  consolation,  but  it  does  not  therefore  the  less  keenly  feel. 
The  worldling  loves  family  and  friends ;  but  he  loves  self 
better.  The  Christian,  too,  unfeignedly  loves  those  who  are 
bound  to  him  by  the  near  and  sacred  connections  of  life ;  but 
while  he  loves  them  much,  he  loves  Christ  more.  The  one 
cannot  bear  the  thought  of  losing  a  beloved  object,  or  laments 
his  bereavement  in  sullen  despair.  The  other  so  mourns  as 
to  be  comforted  of  God.  He  can  say,  sincerely  and  joyfully, 
"The  will  of  the  Lord  be  done."  Yet  though  the  one  be 
inconsolable,  and  the  other  cheerfully  submissive,  the  latter 
has  felt  the  sharpest  pang  and  realized  the  greatest  grief. 
Miss  Allibone  was  herself  a  beautiful  example  of  the  union 
of  exquisite  susceptibility,  affection  and  sympathy,  with 
unqualified  resignation  and  uninterrupted  peace.  Grace 
strengthens,  ennobles  and  purifies  those  generous  and  kindly 
feelings  which  sin  blunts,  debases  and  corrupts. 


To  Dr.  N. 

"  January  2d,  1852. 
"  I  thauk  you  for  having  so  kindly  complied  with  my  request 
that  you  would  tell  me  more  of  your  beloved  mother,  to  whom  the 
Lord  has  given  grace  and  glory.  What  a  privilege  tp  be  her  son, — 
that  she  is  still  your  mother,  for  the  Christian  uses  not  the  imperfect 
tense  when  he  speaks  of  friends  who  have  gone  to  Pleuven :  his 
spiritual  ties  are  never  severed. 

*One  family  wo  dwell  in  Ilim, 
One  Church  above,  beneath  ; 
Though  now  divided  by  the  stream, 
The  narrow  stream  of  death.' 


484  LOVE    AND    DEATH    IN    THE    SAME   WORLD.        [1852. 

"  With  Vrbat  joy  will  your  venerated  parent  welcome  you  to  the 
celcstiiil  Home,  in  wLieh  you  will  never  again  exchange  parting 
salutations  !  Very  intense  was  the  natural  and  spiritual  affection 
which  united  you  here,  and  most  hallowed  are  your  recollections  of 
the  intercourse  you  enjoyed  ;  but  how  much  more  blessed  and  holy 
the  fellowship  of  glorified  spirits  ! 

"  I  always  loved  to  elicit  your  earnest  expressions  of  filial  love  and 
reverence,  and  often  thought  how  deep  would  be  my  sympathy  if 
your  mother  should  pass  away  from  earth  before  our  summons  should 
be  given ;  for  there  is  no  other  bereavement  that  touches  so  many 
chords  of  a  heart,  one  of  whose  richest  possessions  is  my  own  dear 
mother's  memory. 

"  We  are  told,  *  it  is  a  fearful  thing  that  love  and  death  may 
dwell  in  the  same  world/  and  it  would  be  so  if  it  were  not  true  that 
Mesus  Christ  hath  abolished  death,  and  brought  life  and  immortality 
to  light  through  the  gospel.'     *    *     * 

"The  ancient  elm  and  deeply-rooted  oak  are  more  interesting 
than  the  more  youthful  trees  of  the  forest,  but  their  summit  is  not 
so  high  nor  their  branches  so  widely  spread  as  the  Tree  of  Right- 
eousness, long  <  planted  by  rivers  of  water,'  whose  leaf  'does  not 
wither,'  and  whose  refreshing  shade  invites  the  weary  pilgrim  to  rest 
under  her  branches.  Surely  your  mother  was  a  stately  tree,  and  she 
is  now  transplanted  into  the  Garden  of  the  Lord,  but  she  has  left 
rich  fruit  behind  her. 

"I  hope  you  have  entirely  recovered  from  the  indisposition  from 
which  you  have  suffered,  and  that  many  spiritual  blessings  for  you 
and  your  parishioners  are  in  the  treasury  of  grace.  You  remember 
the  anecdote  you  told  me  — '  Give  him  what  he  asks ;  he  knows  I 
am  a  great  king.'  "     *     *     * 

Notes. 

''Jan.  ISth,  1852.  — In  a  letter  to ,  Mr.  Clay  says: 

'  Present  my  warm  regards  to  your  sister,  and  tell  her,  as  the 
probability  is  that  neither  of  us  is  long  for  this  world,  I  hope, 
when  we  go  hence,  we  shall  meet  in  one  far  better.'  '  Oh, 
what  is  honor  now  to  dear  Mr.  Clay!'  Susan  said  while  dwell- 
ing upon  his  situation. 

"I  proposed,  this  afternoon,  to  dismiss  the  Saturday 
school  on  account  of  disturbing  her.     '  Oh,  never,  never !' 


1852.]  ASCENSION-DAY.       .  485 

she  replied.  '  Do  you  think  Henry  Martyn  would  have  sent 
away  a  whole  company  of  children  because  he  was  sick,  if 
Mr.  Corrie  was  teaching  them  ?' 

''Feb.  IZth.  —  Desired  that  W.  might  be  as  a  lily  of  the 
valley  in  the  garden  of  Christ,  and  as  the  lily  grows  best  in 
moist  places,  that  he  might  be  watered  with  the  dews  of  the 
Holy  Spirit.  I  read  to  her,  '  In  whom  we  have  redemption 
through  His  blood,  even  the  forgiveness  of  sins,  through  the 
riches  of  His  grace.'  '  I  am  so  glad  of  that !'  she  exclaimed; 
'  what  should  /do  if  it  were  not  so  ?' 

^^ April  2d. —  She  was  much  interested  in ,  who  seems 

destitute  of  earthly  comforts.  She  desired  that  we  might  see 
in  every  desolate  person  a  messenger  of  the  Lord  Jesus." 

From  her  Diary. 

'''■May  20t7},  Ascension-day.  —  I  do  not  think  I  have  ever 
before  enjoyed  the  morning  of  this  day  so  much.  Oh,  my 
blessed  Saviour !  I  rejoice  that  Thou  art  mine,  and  mine 
forever ! 

"  Dear  Dr.  B.  came  to  us  with  a  message  of  love  on  Satur- 
day, and  remained  until  Monday  morning.  He  administered 
the  Communion  to  me  on  Sunday  afternoon. 

"  These  aged  Christians  are  witnesses  to  the  truth  that  the 
more  we  learn  of  holy  things  the  more  we  realize  our  deep 
unworthiness,  and  the  more  simple  becomes  our  reliance  upon 
'  the  Lord  our  righteousness.'  '  They  shall  bring  forth  fruit 
in  old  age.'  " 

JVotes. 
'^Ascension-day.  —  She  remarked,  '  I  wish  it  could  be  said 
of  Christians  now,  '  Why  stand  ye  gazing  up  into  heaven  ?'  ' 
Commenting  on  the  parable  of  the  Prodigal  Son,  she  spoke 
of  passages  in  Jer.  xxxi.  as  similar  to  it,  and  thought  if  a 
human  being  had  so  spoken  we  might  have  feared  that  the  pic- 

41* 


486  CONVERSATION.  [1852. 

ture  was  overdrawn,  but  it  was  the  Son,  who  knew  the  mind 
of  the  Father. 

"When  suffering  much  this  evening,  we  spoke  of  being 
glad  that  she  loved  the  Saviour.  She  replied  that  '  the  Sa- 
viour loved  her,  and  that  was  the  greatest  consolation.' 

"  Spoke  to-day  of  the  comfort  of  not  '  being  all  her  lifetime 
subject  to  bondage,  through  fear  of  death.' 

"  '  Flowers  have  been  to  me  a  source  of  great  pleasm*e,  and 
I  think  they  have  been  a  spiritual  blessing.' 

"  She  thought  we  ought  to  be  very  careful  to  teach  children 
principles  rather  than  prejudices. 

"  S.  prayed  that  we  might  live  in  an  atmosphere  above  the 
sin  and  sorrow  of  the  world. 

"  Told  me  she  thought  it  as  much  of  a  duty  to  rejoice  as 
to  tell  the  truth.  Spoke  of  'the  fruit  of  the  Spirit'  being 
'joy.'  '  I  shall  never  have  this  day's  suffering  again,'  she 
remarked. 

"  In  reference  to  symptoms  which  I  noticed,  she  replied, 
'It's  all  the  way  home.'  Mentioned  Montgomery's  senti- 
ment : — 

'  Pitching  every  day  our  tent, 
A  day's  march  nearer  home  !' 

"  To  Mrs. ,  she  said  ;  '  I  find  the  Rock  of  Ages  a  very 

blessed  resting-place.' 

"  Susan  this  morning  prayed  most  fervently  for  us.  She 
appeared  to  have  perfect  confidence  that  the  Bucks  County 
church  would  be  built  and  blest. 

'■'  Spoke  of  its  being  our  Father's  will  that  His  children 
should  be  unutterably  happy. 

"  The  lines  I  find  copied  in  her  Bible  seem  peculiarly 
applicable  to  her  case  : — 

'  Faith  finds  a  harvest  in  the  Spring, 
In  Winter  doth  of  Summer  sing, — 
Feeds  on  the  fruit  while  blossoming.' 


1852.]     LETTERS  TO  FRIENDS  ABROAD.      487 

"  She  spoke  of  the  text,  '  He  shall  choose  our  inheritance 
for  us,'  as  being  a  favorite  with  her.  The  31st  Psalm  is 
much  marked  in  her  Bible ;  and  the  5th,  7th  and  8th  verses 
of  the  Psalm  following. 

"  The  following  lines  are  copied  in  her  Bible : — 

'  Sweet  is  the  way  by  which  my  steps  He  leads, 
Sweet  is  the  pasture  where  my  spirit  feeds, 
Bright  is  my  prospect  in  the  world  to  come, 
And  a  few  steps  will  bear  me  safely  home.'  " 

It  would  be  well  if  many  professed  disciples  of  Christ, 
exposed  to  the  temptations  of  a  European  tour,  might  receive 
from  Christian  friends  at  home  such  faithful  counsel  as  is 
conveyed  in  the  next  three  letters  : — 

To  Absent  Friends   in  Europe. 

"  August,  1852. 

"  How  much  I  have  wished,  dear ,  to  write  you  a  long,  heart- 
warm  letter,  but  my  affectionate  thoughts  of  you  and  your  dear  aunt 
could  not  employ  this  medium.  Very  many  have  been  expressed  in 
prayer,  but  I  cannot  feel  satisfied  until  I  have  sent  you  an  epistolary 
manifestation  of  my  love.  The  pen  of  my  cousin  is  employed  in  this 
service. 

"  If  I  should  live  until  your  return  I  shall  have  many  questions 
to  ask  you,  and  shall  wish  to  learn  if  Mr.  W.'s  sermon  was  as  delight- 
ful as  his  works  ?  I  think  his  *  Glory  of  the  Redeemer'  one  of  the 
most  luminous  books  I  have  ever  read.  I  shall  be  disappointed  if 
you  do  not  become  acquainted  with  Mr.  Bridges.  There  is  no  one 
in  England  I  should  so  much  like  to  see. 

"  It  must  be  delightful  to  view  beautiful  scenery,  to  visit  castles 
and  places  of  classic  celebrity;  but  how  much  more  refreshing  to 
behold  the  image  of  our  blessed  Saviour  in  His  disciples,  and  with 
them  to  press  onward  to  '  the  city  which  hath  foundations,  whose 

builder  and  maker  is  God.'     I  trust,  dear ,  that  your  visit  to 

Europe  will  be  the  means  of  facilitating  your  progress  to  that  home 
to  which  your  youthful  affections  have  been  attracted.  How  thank- 
ful I  feel  that  the  Saviour  is  your  friend ;  that  you  are  enabled  to 
say — 


488  LETTERS.  [1852. 

'I  thirst,  but  not  us  onco  I  did, 

The  vain  doliji;hts  of  earth  to  share, 
Thy  wounds,  Imnianuel,  all  forbid 
That  I  should  seek  my  pleasure  there. 

*  It  was  the  sight  of  Thy  dear  Cross 

That  turned  my  heart  from  earthly  things, 
And  brought  me  to  esteem  as  dross 

The  mirth  of  fools,  and  pomp  of  kings.' 

"  That  you  may  be  enabled  to  witness  a  good  confession  is  my 
earnest  prayer.  That  you  have  been  enabled  cheerfully  to  renounce 
'the  pomps  and  vanities'  which  so  conflict  with  our  Piedeemer's  ser- 
vice, has  already  gladdened  my  heart.  And  I  shall  be  thankful, 
indeed,  if  you  return  to  your  country  with  a  spirit  uninjured  by  the 
many  temptations  which  must  present  themselves  on  every  side.  No 
one  can  be  worldly  whose  heart  is  pre-occupied  with  our  Redeemer's 
love.  '  I  sat  under  His  shadow  with  great  delight,  and  His  fruit 
was  sweet  to  my  taste,'  is  the  testimony  of  all  who  are  acquainted 
with  the  '  Plant  of  Eenown.' 

"  Have  you  read  Eomaine's  sermons  upon  Canticles,  dear ? 

How  much  you  would  enjoy  them  ! 

"  I  thank  you  for  the  evergreen  from  the  little  grave  of  ever-ver- 
dant memory.  Mr.  Richmond  expressed  the  hope  that  many  spi- 
ritual roses  would  bloom  around  the  grave  of  his  dear  "Willie.  A 
recent  conversion  in  our  neighborhood  is  one  of  the  many  evidences 
that  our  Heavenly  Father  has  thus  adorned  the  resting-place  of  his 
spiritual  child, —  Little  Jane. 

"  Tell  dear  Mrs. how  glad  I  am  she  endures  the  fatigue  of 

travelling  so  well,  and  how  much  ^  love  her.  Sister  M.'s  message 
of  remembrance  must  be  included  in  the  assurance  of  the  warm  affec- 
tion of  your  friend. 

"  You  sometimes  ask  me  for  a  text.  I  will  give  you  Hosea  ii. 
19,  20,  and  dear  Mrs.  W.  the  whole  of  the  121st  Psalm. 

"  I  quite  forgot  to  answer  your  kind  inquiry  in  reference  to  my 
health  :  —  much  as  usual." 


"Greenwood,  Sept.  25th,  1852. 
"  I  have  many  unanswered  letters,  but  it  is  to  you  I  feel  most 
impelled  to  write.     Increasing  debility  has  long  prevented  me  from 
giving  expression  to  the  deep  interest  which  is  always  in  my  heart, 


1852.]  LETTERS.  489 

and  it  admonislies  me  now  tbat  the  subject  upon  which  I  most  wish 
t(i  dwell  luust  not  be  reserved  until  others  less  important  shall  have 
exhausted  my  little  strength.  Like  the  Psalmist,  '  My  heart  is 
inditing  a  good  matter;'  but  I  cannot,  as  he  did,  expatiate  upon  the 
perfections  of  our  holy  and  blessed  Redeemer,  I  must,  therefore, 
refer  you  to  the  45th  Psalm,  and  trust  you  may  ever  be  enabled  to 
imite  in  the  acknowledgment — '  Thou  art  fairer  than  the  children  of 
men  ;  grace  is  poured  into  Thy  lips.' 

"  Oh,  that  the  name  of  Jesus  may  be  indeed  to  you  as  'ointment 
poured  forth.'     If  you  would  be  very  happy  and  very  holy,  dear 

,  you  must  receive  the  Lord  Jesus  into  the  inmost  recesses  of 

your  soul.  All  you  have  learned  of  Him  increases  your  desire  to 
become  more  fully  acquainted  with  His  character,  and  to  appropriate 
Him  more  entirely  as  your  '  wisdom,  righteousness,  sanctification 
and  redemption.'  Study  prayerfully  and  repeatedly  the  last  ten 
verses  of  the  3d  chapter  of  Ephesians.  May  the  Apostle's  prayer 
for  his  Christian  friends  be  yours,  for  yourself,  for  me,  and  for  all 
who  are  dear  to  you. 

^^Oct.  \st.  —  I  resume  the  pencilled  letter,  which  must  be  tran- 
scribed in  more  enduring  characters  ere  it  travel  the  wide  space 
which  intervenes  between  my  chamber  of  sickness  and  your  Italian 
home. 

"  Oh,  that  I  might  send  you  a  communication  charged  with  the 
electricity  of  Christian  love  !  Oh,  that  our  hearts  may  be  more  pow- 
erfully attracted  towards  that  Saviour  who  has  already  revealed 
Himself  to  us  as  '  chief  among  ten  thousand  and  altogether  lovely' ! 
No  other  principle  is  strong  enough  to  enable  you  to  resist  the 
allurements  of  the  bright  world  around  you,  and  to  sustain  me  in 
the  emergencies  of  protracted  illness.  But  in  '  looking  unto  Jesus, 
the  Author  and  Finisher  of  our  faith,'  we  shall  be  enabled  to 
exclaim,  '  In  all  these  things  we  are  more  than  conquerors  through 
Him  that  loved  us.'  Your  time  of  temptation,  mine  of  trial,  will 
soon  have  passed  away.  Shall  we  not  be  steadfast  unto  the  end  ? 
Shall  we  not  remember  that  the  Captain  of  our  salvation  has  said : 
*  If  any  man  will  come  after  me,  let  him  deny  himself,  and  take  up 
his  cross  and  follow  me'  ?  If  you  be  enabled  to  resist,  and  I  to 
endure,  in  the  name  and  strength  of  the  Holy  One  of  Israel,  shall 
we  not  find  in  the  glories  of  our  heavenly  inheritance  more  than 
compensation  for  the  needed  trials  of  our  pilgrimage  through  life  ? 
Think  of  these  things,  my  very  dear  friend,  if  at  any  time  you  feel 
tempted  to  forget  that  the  vows  of  God  are  upon  you. 


490  LETTERS.  [1852. 

''  Eet  tlie  Scriptures  ever  be  your  standan'l  of  faith  and  duty. 
Cultivate  a  tender  conscience,  and  seek  to  have  that  conscience 
enlightened  and  established  by  the  Holy  Spirit.  Ask  for  His  con- 
stant guidance,  and  suffer  not  the  love  nor  fear  of  man  to  interfere 
with  prompt  obedience  to  His  teaching.  Cherish  cheerful  views  of 
religion.  Guard  against  doubt  and  despondency;  but  remember  that 
these  dark  clouds  will  come,  if  in  compliance  with  the  unscriptural 
maxims  and  customs  of  the  world,  the  indulgence  of  the  corruptions 
of  your  nature,  or  yielding  to  the  suggestions  of  the.  unwearied 
adversary  of  your  soul,  you  grieve  the  Holy  Spirit,  It  is  only  the 
whole-hearted  Christian  who  is  the  possessor  of  true  peace.  If  you 
have  committed  any  sin,  bring  it  at  once  to  Jesus  and  watch  unto 
prayer  lest  you  again  commit  it. 

"  Our  Heavenly  Father  has  said  :  '  Hallow  my  Sabbaths,  that  they 
may  be  a  sign  betwixt  me  and  you  that  I  am  the  Lord  your  God.' 
In  the  fifty-seventh  chapter  of  Isaiah,  he  has  promised  that  we  shall 
delight  ourselves  in  the  Lord  if  we  consecrate  this  holy  day :  and 
what  blessedness  can  we  compare  with  'delight  in  the  Lord'?  In 
obedience  to  this  command,  may  you  experience  the  fulfilment  of 

this  gracious  promise,  my  dear ;  and  as  you  pass  through  life, 

may  you  in  all  things  have  *  this  testimony'  that  you  '  please  God.' 
He  hath  made  us  '  accepted  in  the  Beloved.'  In  the  Lord  is  our 
righteousness  and  strength.  May  the  Father  of  mercies  give  you  in 
no  ordinary  measure  an  appropriating,  purifying  faith. 

''  Dr. sends  an  assurance  of  most  afiectionate  remembrance, 

and  urges  you  to  '  hold  fast  the  beginning  of  your  confidence  firm 
unto  the  end.'     He  is  earnestly  and  prayerfully  solicitous  for  your 

eternal  welfare.     He  wishes  you  to  present  his  regards  to  Mr. , 

and  expresses  a  desire  that  you  shall  walk  together  in  a  heavenward 
path.     How  very  happy  you  will  be  if  the  love  of  Christ  be  the  bond 

of  your  union  J     *     *     *     ]\jay  the  pearl  of  great  price  be 's 

most  valued  treasure,  and  may  you  unitedly  offer  a  morning  and 

evening  sacrifice  of  prayer  and  praise.     I  should  like to  read 

Dr.  Gordon's  Life,  an  English  publication,  which  interested  Mr.  Clay 
in  his  last  illness. 

"I  have  not  seen and since  you  left  them.     I  trust 

your  letters  to  your  absent  family  will  be  messengers  of  mercy.  A 
request  that  you  will  write  very  soon  must  be  the  conclusion  of  this 
long  letter  from  your  truly  affectionate  friend. 


1852.]  LETTERS.  491 

"  It  cannot  be  tbat  one  who  was  at  one  time  the  object  of  intense 
solicitude,  and  whose  reception  of  our  adorable  lledeemer  filled  my 
heart  with  joy,  should  paj^s  away  from  memory,  now  that  her  place 
of  residence  is  so  remote.  Not  so,  my  dear  friend.  Many  thoughts 
of  interest  follow  you  to  your  far-off  home  j  thoughts  sometimes  of 
apprehension  that  you  may  be  tempted,  amid  the  brilliant  scenes  which 
surround  you,  to  forget  that  '  strait  is  the  gate  and  narrow  the  way 
which  leadeth  unto  life,  and  few  there  be  that  find  it,'  and  yet  min- 
gled with  the  earnest  hope  that  the  Saviour  who  loved  you  when 
you  knew  Him  not,  and  guided  your  weary  steps  into  the  way  of 
peace,  will  uphold  them  with  the  right  hand  of  His  righteousness, 
and  cause  them  to  press  onward  with  more  rapid  pace  until  they 
stand  upon  the  heights  of  Zion. 

"Ah  !  who  can  measure  their  elevation  ?  Far  above  the  tempta- 
tions and  trials  of  this  mortal  existence, —  far  above  the  utmost  aspi- 
rations of  our  social,  moral,  intellectual  and  spiritual  being.  In  this 
life  the  Christian  commences  the  ascent.  Shall  he  be  so  attracted 
by  some  shady  bower,  or  by  the  allurements  of  the  festive  scenes  of 
earth,  that  he  shall  sit  down  to  repose  or  gaze  around  him,  or  shall 
he  even  linger  in  this  upward  path  ?  Oh,  no  !  his  redemption  has 
cost  a  great  price.  The  Father,  Son  and  Holy  Spirit  have  co-ope- 
rated in  this  economy  of  mercy.  The  world,  the  flesh  and  the  devil 
combine  their  unwearied  efforts  to  oppose  it.  So  successful  they 
often  are  that  the  Apostle  has  thus  admonished  us  —  'Let  us  there- 
fore fear,  lest  a  promise  being  left  us  of  entering  into  His  rest,  any 
of  you  should  seem  to  come  short  of  it.'  Oh  !  let  us  pray  that  God 
will  deeply  solemnize  our  spirits;  let  us  diligently  improve  every 
means  of  grace,  ever  remembering  that  if  we  '  so  run  that  we  may 
obtain,'  it  will  be  in  the  strength  of  Jesus,  by  the  application  of  His 
righteousness,  the  infusion  of  His  Spirit. 

"  I  am  glad  that  you  have  Thornton's  Prayers,  and  that  you  and 

Mr.  use  them  together.     If  you  have  any  English  servants, 

might  it  not  be  well  to  admit  them  ?     *     *     * 

"  My  health  is  increasingly  delicate,  and  it  maybe  that  I  shall 
not  again  express  my  desire  that  you  shall  receive  and  impart  the 
blessings  of  the  Gospel  with  increasing  earnestness  and  delight. 
Again  I  remind  you  of  the  great  love  of  our  Lord  and  Saviour  Jesus 
Christ.  Trust  and  obey  Him.  Study  His  character  in  His  Word. 
He  is  a  precious  Saviour  to  your  tiuly  affectionate  friend. 


492  LETTERS.  [1852. 

To  Rev.  R.  Smith. 

"Oct.  26,  1852. 

"  Tf  you  were  here  to  take  a  peep  into  my  room,  dear  E,.,  I  think 
you  would  feel  disposed  to  pass  the  evening  with  me.  The  bright 
roses  of  my  new  carpet  would  attract  your  attention,  and  my  cheer- 
ful fire  is  almost  as  warm  as  the  welcome  I  would  give  you.  I  am 
sure,  too,  that  talking  with  you  would  be  more  agreeable  than  this 
attempt  to  write  upon  a  slate,  with  my  eyes  tightly  closed,  excepting 
when  they  are  opened  to  ascertain  if  my  pencil  have  strayed  too  far 
from  the  line  above  it.  I  am  glad,  however,  to  resort  even  to  this 
medium  of  communication  with  a  friend  I  love  so  well ;  and  to  whom 
I  would  always  speak  of  the  better  land,  and  the  way  thither.  Are 
not  our  hopes  bright,  dear  R.,  and  is  not  '  that  Holy  Spirit  of  pro- 
mise which  is  the  earnest  of  our  inheritance,  until  the  redemption 
of  the  purchased  possession,'  a  blessed  treasure  to  carry  with  us 
through  our  pilgrimage  ?  I  often  think  of  the  reply  of  a  girl  of 
seventeen  to  her  mother's  comment  upon  her  accumulated  sufferings, 
'  I  shall  have  rest  enough  with  my  Saviour.'  Let  us  be  very  happy, 
then  ;  even  if  I  await  the  fulness  of  bliss  in  the  chamber  of  sickness, 
and  you  in  a  far-off  land,  where  the  Saviour's  voice  will  speak  to 
you  in  more  gentle  tones,  because  you  have  left  home  and  kindred 
and  friends  for  His  name's  sake.  You  will  not  be  lonely,  even 
though  your  missionary  brethren  surround  you  not  in  your  dying 
hour;  and  you  may  then  be  permitted  to  assure  some  darkened  being 
that  'Jesus  Christ  has  abolished  death,  and  brought  life  and  immor- 
tality to  light  through  the  Gospel.'  I  have  beard  of  a  missionary, 
who  replied  to  a  friend  who  remonstrated  because  he  employed  his 
last  moments  in  giving  religious  instruction  to  some  children  who 
had  gathered  around  his  bed,  —  '"Would  you  have  my  Master  when 
He  comes  find  me  doing  nothing?' 

"May  it  ever  be  thus  with  you,  my  beloved  cousin,  and  then  it 
will  be  proved  that  yours  is  indeed  a  true  Apostolical  succession. 
Oh  !  that  this  maybe  the  Churchmanshipof  all  your  brethren,  'The 
love  of  Christ  constraineth  us.'  Surely  if  this  principle  were  the 
spring  of  all  ecclesiastical  instruction  —  if  the  Sacraments  were  admi- 
nistered and  received,  as  Bishop  M.  says,  'not  that  they  maybe 
looked  at,  but  that  they  may  be  looked  through,'  our  truly  Scrip- 
tural Church  would  put  on  her  beautiful  garments,  and  many  seek 
her  superior  privileges  who  have  kept  at  a  distance  because  they 
have  heard  so  much  of  baptismal  regeneration,  progressive  justifica- 
tion, and  similar  doctrines  which  they  have  never  discovered  in  tbo 


1852.]  LETTERS.  493 

Holy  Book.  I  do  most  heartily  believe  that  an  evangelical  Episco- 
pacy comprehends  more  truth  than  can  elsewhere  be  found,  and  am, 
therefore,  conscientiously  an  Episcopalian ;  and  am  thankful  to  my 
Father  in  Heaven  that  He  has  permitted  me  to  derive  such  inex- 
pressible enjoyment  from  '  the  sweet  communion,  solemn  vows  and 
hymns  of  love  and  praise,'  which  have  been  the  consolation  of  so 
many  of  His  children  who  now  adore  Him  in  the  upper  Sanctuary. 
Kedeeming  love  is  their  unceasing  theme,  and  shall  not  our  harps 
even  here  be  ever  tuned  to  this  melody?  And  shall  it  be  that  you, 
and  all  your  fellow-students,  will  send  forth  this  celestial  music  in 
strains  so  loud  and  so  harmonious,  that  the  Church  shall  receive  a 
new  impulse,  and  the  world  an  irresistible  appeal  to  seek  the  know- 
ledge of  that  Saviour  whose  attractions  have  made  His  servants  so 
eloquent,  so  earnest  ? 

"  It  may  be  there  are  Luthers,  and  Mcllvaines,  and  Bedells 
among  your  number,  at  whose  ordination  the  Holy  Trinity  will  pre- 
side, and  the  great  adversary  of  mankind  tremble,  because  the  sword 
of  the  Spirit  will  be  so  powerfully  wielded  by  their  hands.  *  May 
the  Lord  bless  and  keep  them,  the  name  of  the  God  of  Jacob  defend 
them,'  whilst  they  burnish  their  armor  and  strengthen  themselves 
for  the  combat  in  the  peaceful  retreat  which  now  encloses  them. 
.  I  do  not  feel  jealous  of  my  own  land,  because  a  distant  battle-field 
will  be  for  some  of  you  the  scene  of  action.  The  Lord  of  the  whole 
earth  is  your  Commander,  and  He  goes  before  His  soldiers  even 
into  every  kingdom  of  darkness ;  for  '  the  Son  of  God  is  manifested 
that  He  might  destroy  the  works  of  the  devil.'  Shall  they  not  fol- 
low? Shall  they  not  consider  it  an  honor  to  press  onward  with 
rapid  step  to  the  outposts  of  the  battle  ?  Where  are  our  consecrated 
Caesars,  Alexanders  and  Napoleons,  who  do  or  die  for  the  glory  of 
the  Lord  Jesus  ?  '  They  do  it  for  a  corruptible  crown.'  Oh,  how 
selfish  is  the  policy  that  would  restrict  the  labors  of  a  promising 
young  clergyman  to  his  own  country !  '  There  is  that  scattereth, 
and  yet  increaseth ;  there  is  that  withholdeth  more  than  is  meet,  and 
yet  tendeth  to  poverty.'  "     *     *     * 

The  two  letters  following  were  addressed  to  a  young  person 
of  a  peculiarly  lovely  and  interesting  character,  to  whom 
Miss  Allibone's  conversation  and  influence  Avere  greatly 
blessed.  Under  the  latter's  guidance,  she  gave  herself  an 
unreserved  offering  to  the  Saviour,  and  rapidly  grew  in  grace 

42 


494  LETTERS.  [1852. 

and  in  tlie  knowledge  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ.  It  was  her 
privilege  to  minister  to  her  kind  spiritual  friend  upon  her 
(^eath-bed.  It  was  her  greater  privilege  to  follow  her,  after 
a  few  months'  interval,  to  the  mansions  of  glory.  Together 
they  now  renew  their  former  hallowed  intercourse  by  the 
bank  of  the  river  of  the  water  of  life,  clear  as  crystal,  pro- 
ceeding out  of  the  throne  of  God  and  of  the  Lamb. 

To  3Iiss  >S.  E.  L. 

"  Greenwood,  Nov.  1st,  1852. 
"It  is  with  mingled  feelings,  dear  S.,  that  I  commence  the  letter 
I  have  so  long  wished  to  write  thee.  I  do  most  truly  sympathize 
with  the  suffering  which  has  so  unexpectedly  prostrated  thy  youthful 
frame ;  and  if  warm  affection  would  convey  me  to  thy  bedside,  I 
should  soon  be  there  to  minister  to  thy  physical  comfort,  and  speak 
of  the  tenderness  of  the  Great  Physician.  But,  S.,  my  heart  is  very 
glad  on  thy  account,  for  I  have  reason  to  trust  that  '  saving  health' 
has  been  granted  thee,  —  that  thee  has  found  Jesus,  the  Saviour  of 
sinners,  the  rest  of  the  weary,  the  '  all  in  all'  of  those  who  receive 
Him  into  their  hearts. 

"  Oh,  that  we  could  present  our  hearts  together  in  grateful  praise 
for  this  unspeakable  mercy,  and  that  we  could  commune  of  Ilim  who 
is  '  altogether  lovely.'  Dear  L.  B.  remarked,  in  her  last  illness, 
'  If  I  knew  any  name  more  expressive  than  my  Saviour,  I  would  use 
it.'  When  she  read  aloud  the  last  chapter  of  Revelations,  her  coun- 
tenance beamed  with  holy  rapture,  and  her  voice  became  even  more 
musical  as  she  uttered  the  words^  '  The  Lamb  is  the  light  thereof 
And  is  not  this  the  kind,  if  not  the  degree,  of  feeling  which  is  expe- 
rienced by  all  who  have  accepted  the  invitation,  '  Come  unto  me,  all 
ye  that  labor  and  are  heavy  laden,  and  I  will  give  you  rest'  ? 

"It  is  one  of  the  many  evidences  of  our  Redeemer's  condescen- 
sion, that  although  He  has  done  so  much  to  entitle  Him  to  our 
unwavering  confidence,  he  deals  not  harshly  with  us  when  our  faith 
is  weak,  but  varies  the  promises  of  His  Word  to  suit  each  conflicting 
state  of  feeling ;  whilst,  by  the  mysterious  agency  of  His  Holy  Spirit, 
He  causes  us  to  plead  these  promises  in  prayer,  and  to  direct  a  tear- 
ful eye  to  that  cross  from  which  ever  goes  forth  the  blessed  sound  — 
'  It  is  finished  !' 

'  Love's  redeeming  work  is  done ; 
Fought  the  fight,  the  victory  won.' 


1852.]  LETTERS.  495 

"  Our  Redeemer's  blood  has  paid  the  penalty  of  a  violated  law. 
The  perfect  righteousness  of  His  life  has  fulfilled  its  every  require- 
ment, and  the  believer  is  'complete  in  Ilim/  'accepted  in  the 
Beloved !'  Dwell  upon  the  import  of  these  words.  This  is  the  joy 
and  rejoicing  of  my  heart.  My  soul  reposes  in  peace  upon  the  finished 
work  of  Jesus,  upon  the  Lord  my  righteousness. 

''  Let  us  not  think  of  ourselves,  but  of  our  all-sufBcient  Saviour. 
We  are  sinful,  helpless, — our  thoughts  often  wander, — our  faith  and 
love  are  sadly  disproportioned  to  the  Being  upon  whom  they  are 
exercised ;  but  we  go  to  Jesus  as  we  are,  and  He  receives  us  for  His 
own  name's  sake.  He  will  make  us  all  we  ought  to  be.  He  will 
not  forsake  us,  now  that  He  has  brought  us  into  His  fold,  for  He 
has  said  :  '  I  am  the  Good  Shepherd ;  the  Good  Shepherd  giveth  his 
life  for  the  sheep.  My  sheep  hear  my  voice,  and  I  know  them  and 
they  fullow  me ;  and  I  give  unto  them  eternal  life,  and  they  shall 
never  perish.' 

"  I  think,  dear  S.,  thee  would  derive  consolation  from  prayerful 
meditation  upon  each  verse  of  the  23d  Psalm.  It  is  very  profitable, 
also,  to  select  a  passage  of  Scripture  and  endeavor  to  remember 
parallel  texts.  I  have  often  composed  myself  to  sleep  in  thinking 
of  some  sweet  hymn.  '  Rock  of  Ages'  and  '  How  firm  a  Foundation' 
are  very  beautiful.  But  remember  that  an  enfeebled  frame  must 
not  be  over-tasked.  Our  Father  in  Heaven  '  knoweth  our  frame ; 
He  remembereth  that  we  are  dust.'  He  does  not  require  great 
mental  vigor  when  we  are  very  sick.  Toplady's  beautiful  hymn 
expresses  the  state  of  mind  which  is  appropriate  to  such  a  situation : 

*  Sweet,  in  the  confidence  of  faith, 
To  trust  Ilis  wise  decrees ; 
Sweet  to  lie  passive  in  Ilis  hands, 
And  know  no  will  but  Ilis.' 

The  Father  of  mercies  is  most  honored  by  a  simple  and  cheerful  reli- 
ance upon  His  promises.  I  am  stire  He  loves  thee,  dear  S.,  and  feel 
no  anxiety  on  thy  account. 

"  I  have  thought  much  of  the  desire  for  instruction  which  thee 

expressed  when  I  last  saw  thee.     If  thee  feels  that  a  visit  from • 

would  be  a  gratification,  do  not  hesitate  to  inform  me.     He 


would  love  to  talk  with  thee  of  our  best  and  dearest  Friend,  the  great 
Shepherd  and  Bishop  of  souls. 

"  I  think  thee  will  enjoy  the  service  for  the  Visitation  of  the  Sick, 


496  LETTERS.  [1853 

in  the  Prayer-ljook.  lu  its  language  I  close  my  long  letter:  'Unto 
God's  gracious  mercy  and  protection  we  commit  thee.  The  Lord 
bless  thee  and  keep  thee.  The  Lord  make  His  face  to  shine  upon 
thee,  and  be  gracious  unto  thee.  The  Lord  lift  up  His  countenance 
upon  thee,  and  give  thee  peace,  both  now  and  evermore,  Amen/ '' 

To  the  same. 

"Greenwood,  Oct.  31st,  1853, 

"  I  need  not  assure  thee,  dear  S.,  that  thy  last  two  letters  met  a 
very  welcome  reception,  nor  that  I  am  only  prevented  from  the  fre- 
quent expression  of  my  many  affectionate  thoughts  by  physical  ina- 
bility. How  much  I  wish  thee  could  be  with  us  this  evening !  We 
would  ask  thee  to  recline  on  the  sofa.  How  glad  I  should  be,  my 
own  dear  S.,  if  thee  could  be  often  there.  Very  pleasant  to  me  is 
the  recollection  of  our  former  intercourse,  and  still  more  pleasant  is 
the  reflection  that  thy  '  fellowship  is  with  the  Father  and  with  His 
Son  Jesus  Christ.'  Truly,  this  is  '  communion  sweet,  communion 
large  and  high.'  Has  thee  ever  thought  much  of  the  passage,  'The 
secret  of  the  Lord  is  with  them  that  fear  Him,  and  He  will  show 
them  his  covenant'  ?  It  is  to  me  full  of  meaning,  and  has  excited 
many  desires  for  its  complete  experience. 

"  One  of  my  friends,  who  is  now  an  established  and  active  Chris- 
tian, informed  me  that  in  the  earlier  years  of  her  religious  life  her 
attention  was  attracted  by  the  term  '  covenant,'  and  she  endeavored 
to  ascertain  the  meaning  by  the  careful  examination  of  every  text  in 
which  it  is  contained.  The  Holy  Spirit  has  taught  her  the  security 
and  blessedness  of  the  'better  covenant,'  and  she  now,  in  the  midst 
of  great  suffering,  rejoices  in  '  the  sure  mercies  of  David.' 

"How  great  is  my  consolation,'dear  S.,  that  'in  the  Lord  Jeho- 
vah' thee  also  has  found  '  everlasting  strength ;'  and  I  feel  well 
assured  that  this  confidence  has  not  been  disturbed  by  a  recurrence 
of  the  symptoms  which  remind  thee  of  the  frailty  of  thy  earthly 
tabernacle,  —  and  yet  that  earthly  tabernacle  is  so  dear  to  those  who 
love  thee,  that  they  are  glad  to  believe  that  thy  present  indisposition 
is  less  serious  than  that  which  so  greatly  exercised  their  apprehension 
a  year  since. 

"  Do  write  to  us  soon,  for  we  think  of  thee  with  tenderness  and 
solicitude.  I  hoped  to  have  seen  thee  soon,  nor  will  relinquish  this 
anticipation. 

"  Believe  me,  dear  S.,  as  ever,  and  forever,  thy  affectionate  friend." 


1852.]  LETTERS.  497 

Earnest  commiseration  for  the  outcast  and  wretched,  the 
spirit  of  Him  who  came  to  seek  and  to  save  that  which  was 
lost,  breathes  in  the  subjoined : 

Letter  to  a  Prisoner. 

"Nov.  1852. 

"  I  read  the  note  which  contains  your  request  that  I  would  ask 
mercies  for  you,  with  tearful  eyes  and  prayerful  heart.  Yes,  my 
poor  fellow-sinner,  I  will  pray  for  you  again  and  again,  and  trust  that 
the  Holy  Spirit  who  has  prompted  your  desire,  and  enabled  me  to 
fulfil  it,  will  'raise  up  His  power  and  come  unto  you,  and  with  great 
might  succor  you.'  I  trust  He  will  '  reprove  you  of  sin,  of  right- 
eousness and  of  judgment;'  that  He  will  take  of  the  things  of  Jesus, 
and  show  them  unto  you.  'Ask,  and  ye  shall  receive ;  seek,  and  ye 
shall  find  ;  knock,  and  it  shall  be  opened  unto  you ;'  is  our  Ptedeemer's 
exhortation  and  promise.  What  earnest  importunity  is  required  by 
this  injunction,  and  how  firm  should  be  our  reliance  upon  the  faith- 
fulness of  Him  who  has  given  us  this  gracious  promise ! 

"I  am  not  acquainted  with  the  peculiarities  of  your  situation.  It 
is  enough  for  me  to  know  that  you  have  sinned  against  God,  and 
desire  His  forgiveness.  '  He  is  merciful  and  gracious,  slow  to  anger, 
and  plenteous  in  mercy.'  '  If  we  confess  our  sins,  He  is  faithful  and 
just  to  forgive  us  our  sins,  and  to  cleanse  us  from  all  unrighteous- 
ness.' '  Whosoever  shall  keep  the  whole  law,  and  yet  offend  in  one 
point,  he  is  guilty  of  all.'  *  Cursed  is  every  one  that  continueth  not 
iu  all  things  that  are  written  in  the  book  of  the  law,  to  do  them.' 

"  Have  you  ever  examined  your  heart  and  life  by  the  test  of  the 
ten  commandments,  and  considered  that  the  necessity  of  obedience 
extends  to  every  thought,  as  well  as  every  action  of  your  life?  Have 
you  ever  carefully  reviewed  the  summary  of  these  commands  which 
our  Saviour  has  given  us,  '  Thou  shalt  love  the  Lord  thy  God  with 
all  thy  heart,  and  with  all  thy  soul,  and  with  all  thy  mind;  and  thy 
neighbor  as  thyself  ?  Surely  we  have  all  sinned,  and  come  short 
of  the  glory  of  God,  and  I  trust  you  deeply  feel  that  it  would  be  just 
in  Him  to  condemn  you  to  everlasting  banishment  from  all  that  is 
holy,  all  that  is  happy.  It  has  been  sometimes  said,  '  God  is  mer- 
ciful, and  if  we  sincerely  repent  and  amend  our  lives,  we  shall  thus 
secure  the  pardon  of  our  past  offences.'  But  if  this  were  so.  His 
word  would  not  be  true,  for  He  has  said,  '  The  soul  that  sinneth,  it 
shall  die.'  'Without  shedding  of  blood  there  is  no  remission,'  and 
if  repentance  and  reformation  were  the  conditions  upon  which  salva- 

2  a  42* 


498  LETTERS.  [1852. 

tion  were  offered  to  the  sinner,  be  coukl  not  comply.  '  The  heart  is 
deceitful  above  all  things,  and  desperately  wicked.'  It  is,  therefore, 
incapable  of  true  repentance,  or  of  holiness  of  life.  '  Oh,  Israel,  thou 
hast  destroyed  thyself.'  Is  this  your  experience  ?  Has  the  Holy 
Spirit  revealed  to  you  the  sinfulness  of  your  past  life,  and  the  depra- 
vity of  your  nature  ?  And  do  you  feel  that  you  are  helpless  and 
undone?  Are  you  weary  of  sin,  and  of  yourself  ?  Oh,  then,  listen 
to  the  gentle  voice  which  says,  '  Come  unto  me,  all  ye  that  labor 
and  are  heavy  laden,  and  I  will  give  you  rest.'  The  merciful  Sa- 
viour who  gives  you  this  invitation,  has  paid  the  penalty  your  trans- 
gressions have  required.  *  *  *  <  Qod  so  loved  the  world,  that 
He  gave  His  only  begotten  Son,  that  whosoever  believeth  in  Him 
should  not  perish,  but  have  everlasting  life.'  'Whosoever  believeth 
in  Him.'  Will  you  not  at  once  accept  this  salvation  purchased  at 
so  great  a  price,  and  yet  so  freely  offered  ?  '  To  as  many  as  received 
Him,  to  them  gave  He  power  to  become  the  sons  of  God,  even  unto 
them  that  believe  in  His  name.' 

"  It  is  true  that  God  requires  you  to  repent,  and  obey  His  laws. 
Every  sin  must  be  washed  away,  every  thought  must  be  purified, 
every  sinful  practice  renounced  forever.  Our  Heavenly  Father  will 
have  no  unholy  children.  Our  Saviour  came  to  save  us  from  our 
sins,  not  in  them.  But  we  must  go  to  Jesus  as  we  are,  that  we  may 
be  made  what  we  ought  to  be.  We  must  even  go  to  Him  for  grace 
to  repent  of  our  sins.  *  For  Him  hath  God  exalted  with  His  right 
hand  to  be  a  Prince  and  a  Saviour,  for  to  give  repentance  to  Israel.' 
We  must  go  to  Jesus  for  the  very  faith  which  receives  Him.  '  Look- 
ing unto  Jesus,  the  Author  and  Finisher  of  our  faith,'  we  must  ap- 
propriate Him  as  '  the  Lord  our  righteousness.'  He  will  then  become 
the  principle  of  every  holy  action^.  He  will  teach  us  our  Heavenly 
Father's  will,  and  give  us  strength  to  obey  it.  He  will  sympathize 
with  every  sorrow,  sustain  us  in  every  time  of  need,  cheer  us  in  the 
hour  of  death,  and  shelter  us  at  the  day  of  judgment.  Oh,  flee  for 
refuge  to  the  hope  which  is  set  before  you. 

"  Give a  message  for  me.  Tell  me  what  blessings  you  would 

have  me  implore  for  you,  but  depend  alone  upon  the  advocacy  of 
Him  who  '  ever  liveth  to  make  intercession  for  us.'  He  is  the  faith- 
ful and  precious  Saviour  of  the  Christian  friend  who  visits  you." 


CHAPTER   XXIV. 

1853. 

Unexpected  Continuance — Epistolary  Efforts — Various  Letters  —  To  a 
Bereaved  Parent — Urgent  Persuasive  to  a  Youth — To  another,  press- 
ing Immediate  Repentance — Remarks  upon  the  Psalms — To  R.  S. — 
Interest  in  the  Colored  Raco — Congratulatory  to  a  Young  Disciple — 
Description  of  Visit  from  Dr.  Kelley  —  Work  of  Grace  in  Madeira  — 
The  Awakened  Romanist  —  Social  Affections — Youthful  Aspirations 
—The  True  Church  of  Christ— To  Rev.  J.  11.  Fowles  in  Illness. 

Contrary  to  her  own  expectations,  and  beyond  even  the 
hopes  of  her  friends,  the  life  of  Miss  Allibone  was  prolonged 
from  year  to  year.  And  each  added  year  was  a  period  of 
increased  devotion  and  usefulness.  The  diminution  of  her 
bodily  strength  seemed  not  to  affect  the  energy  and  spright- 
liness  of  her  mind.  Although  the  outward  man  was  perish- 
ing, the  imvard  man  was  renewed  day  by  day.  Cut  off  by 
increased  weakness  from  some  opportunities  of  doing  good, 
she  availed  herself  more  fully  of  such  means  as  were  still 
within  her  reach.  Of  these,  one  of  the  most  important  was 
her  correspondence.  Early  in  the  year  1851  she  expressed 
the  apprehension  that  her  days  of  letter- writing  were  nearly 
over.  This,  however,  proved  not  to  be  the  case,  to  the  great 
comfort  and  edification  of  her  correspondents.  The  difiiculty 
attendant  on  dictation  or  on  pencilling  her  letters  upon  a 
slate,  with  closed  eyes,  did  not  prevent  them  from  being  fre- 
quent and  full.  And  these  memorials  of  her  industry  and 
friendship  are  more  abundant  in  the  last  years  of  her  life, 

(499) 


500  LETTERS.  [1853. 

and  not  less  rich,  instructive  and  delightful.  Her  epistolary 
efforts  have  the  charm  of  graceful  elegance  and  conversa- 
tional ease,  while  replete  with  elevated  sentiment  and  holy 
unction.  They  are  the  unstudied  outpourings  of  a  warm, 
sympathizing,  sanctified  affection,  and  while  specially  prized 
by  those  who  received  them,  cannot  fail  to  gratify  and  inte- 
rest every  reader.  They  indicate  also  increasing  spiritual 
joy  and  delight  in  the  Lord,  enlarging  views  and  ever-bright- 
ening hopes.  Hers  was  manifestly  the  path  of  the  just, 
shining  more  and  more  unto  the  perfect  day ;  the  progress 
of  one  who  went  from  strength  to  strength,  until  she  appeared 
before  God  in  Zion. 

To  Mrs.  C.  S.  0. 

"  January,  1853. 

"I  do  not  believe  T  have  an  absent  friend  who  loves  me  so  well 

as  thee  does,  dearest ,  and  very  often  docs  my  heart  prompt  an 

expression  of  its  own  warm  affection.  The  long,  pleasant  talks  we 
have  bad  are  among  my  treasured  recollections,  and  tbe  storehouse 
of  memory  is  always  open  with  the  hope  that  her  riches  will  be  in- 
creased. Thee  can  scarcely  imagine  the  pleasure  I  derive  from  the 
reflection  that  refreshing  sanctuary  privileges  are  thy  portion.  0  ! 
that  your  spiritual  teacher  may  be  anointed  more  and  more,  and  that 
the  holy  oil  may  be  poured  into  every  heart  in  your  congregation. 

Sister  E.  may  have  told  thee,  dear ,  that  several  members  of 

her  Bible  class  are  seriously  impressed.  Do  include  E.'s  class  in  thy 
daily  petitions,  and  ask  also  that  I -may  be  so  instructed  that  I  shall 
be  enabled  to  say,  '  Behold  the  Lamb  of  God  which  taketh  away  the 
sin  of  the  world  !'  We  may  pass  beyond  the  elements  of  human 
knowledge,  but  tbe  beginning  of  religious  truth  is  always  its  end. 
I  have  been  favored  with  an  unusual  number  of  clerical  visits  lately, 
but  I  doubt  not  thee  has  been  informed  of  passing  events.  I  shall 
not  soon  forget  a  most  refreshing  conversation  with  Mr.  Fowles,  a 
few  weeks  since.  He  expatiated  upon  the  goodness  which  leadeth 
to  repentance,  with  deep  feeling;  and  I  felt,  when  he  left  me,  an 
earnest  desire  to  draw  more  largely  from  the  treasury  of  grace. 

"  My  letter  must  have  an  abrupt  conclusion ;   not  so,  beloved,  the 
love  of  thine  own." 


1853.]  LETTERS.  501 

To  Miss  S. 

"Jan.  17,  1853. 

"I  wish  you  were  with  me  this  afternoon,  dear  Miss  S.,  that  I 
mifht  speak  to  you  the  thoughts  of  encouragement  which  are  in  my 
heart;  but  as  this  cannot  be,  I  will  trace  them  with  a  pencil,  and 
afterwards  cause  them  to  be  impressed  in  a  more  legible  form.  In 
making  this  attempt,  I  do  not  forget  that  you  are  surrounded  by 
friends  deeply  interested  in  your  welfare,  whose  spiritual  pupil  I 
would  myself  gladly  become ;  but  it  is  my  privilege  also  to  '  say  to 
them  that  are  of  a  fearful  heart,  be  strong'  —  to  congratulate  you 
that  holy  desires  have  been  awakened  in  your  bosom,  and  to  remind 
you  of  the  promise,  '  Then  shall  we  know,  if  we  follow  on  to  know 
the  Lord.' 

<'  The  Shepherd  of  Israel  is  very  gentle,  and  I  would  most  affec- 
tionately urge  you  to  submit  yourself  to  His  guidance.  I  know  you 
have  '  gone  astray  like  a  lost  sheep.'  I  know  you  have  been  far 
more  ungrateful  and  rebellious  than  you  can  possibly  realize.  I 
should  be  very  sorry  to  use  language  less  strong  than  the  declaration 
which  God  has  made,  'Thou  hast  destroyed  thyself;'  but  I  would 
not  forget  that  from  the  Being  you  have  so  greatly  offended  has  also 
proceeded  the  gracious  assurance,  '  In  me  is  thy  help.' 

"  You  tell  me,  dear  Miss  S.,  that  you  are  most  deeply  affected  by 
a  sense  of  your  ingratitude  to  God ;  that  you  feel  as  though  you 
would  be  willing  to  suffer  the  punishment  you  deserve,  if  you  could 
be  forgiven  the  sin  you  have  committed.  This  punishment  has  been 
already  inflicted.  0 !  think,  my  dear  young  friend,  of  the  import 
of  those  words,  *It  is  finished  !'  They  were  spoken  by  your  Saviour, 
your  Redeemer,  the  Holy  One  of  Israel.  Would  you  add  to  the 
finished  work  of  Jesus  ?  Or  will  you  not,  rather,  gladly  accept  the 
salvation  He  has  purchased  at  so  great  a  price  ? 

*'  Look  up  from  your  heart,  all  heavy  as  it  is,  with  an  accumulated 
load  of  transgression,  weary  with  ineffectual  attempts  to  repent,  be- 
lieve and  obey,  to  that  compassionate  Redeemer  who  is  able  to  sup- 
ply your  every  necessity.  'He  died,  the  Just  for  the  unjust,  that 
He  might  bring  you  to  God.'  He  became  your  Surety,  not  only  by 
the  endurance  of  the  penalty  which  was  demanded  by  the  violation 
of  the  righteous  Law,  but  by  His  obedience  to  its  every  requirement. 
'  This  is  the  name  whereby  He  shall  be  called.  The  Lord  our 
Righteousness.'  Will  you  not  appropriate  such  a  Saviour  as  this? 
*  To  as  many  as  received  Him,  to  them  gave  He  power  to  become  the 
sons  of  God,  even  to  them  that  believe  on  His  name.' 


502  LETTERS.  [1853. 

"  The  plan  of  salvation  is  very  simple :  our  difficulties  are  of  our 
own  creation.  Satan,  too,  is  very  active  in  the  suggestion  of  doubts. 
He  gains  mucli  when  he  tempts  to  despondency,  which  is,  indeed, 
but  a  refined  form  of  self-righteousness.  We  look  into  our  own 
hearts  for  that  which  we  should  never  expect  to  find  there,  and  are, 
therefore,  disappointed.  You  must  not  stay  away  from  Jesus  until 
you  feel  more  penitent  that  you  have  grieved  Him.  Draw  very  near 
Him,  that  you  may  see  the  light  of  His  countenance,  and  listen  to 
His  assurances  of  pardoning  love.  You  will  then  learn  the  meaning 
of  true  repentance,  and  if  you  live  many  years,  and  always  grow  in 
grace,  your  godly  sorrow  will  become  more  tender  and  more  deep. 
Then,  all  the  blessed  fruits  of  the  Spirit  will  spring  up  in  your  heart, 
and  unspeakable  will  be  your  happiness.  I  believe  these  blessings 
are  in  store  for  you,  and  in  the  anticipation  of  them  all,  I  offer  you 
the  affectionate  congratulations  of  your  friend." 

To  the  Autlior. 

"Jan.  26,  1853. 

" '  All  things  are  yours,  whether  Paul,  or  Apollos,  or  Cephas,  or 
the  world,  or  life,  or  death,  or  things  present,  or  things  to  come ;  all 
are  yours,  and  ye  are  Christ's,  and  Christ  is  God's.' 

"  With  this  assurance  of  Holy  Scripture,  I  transmitted  to  our 
young  friend  the  letter  which  I  knew  she  would  be  so  glad  to  receive, 
and  I  thank  you  very  affectionately,  Right  Rev.  Sir,  for  the  expres- 
sions of  Christian  sympathy  which  are  my  portion  of  your  communi- 
cation. 

"  It  is  my  unspeakable  happiness  to  have  been  taught,  not  by  the 
words  of  inspiration  alone,  but  by  the  experience  of  many  years,  that 
'  'we  have  not  an  High  Priest  whish  cannot  be  touched  with  a  feeling 
of  our  infirmities,'  and  to  have  received  through  His  servants  many 
messages  of  comfort  and  instruction.  Among  these,  I  include  with 
pleasure  the  visit  and  letter  with  which  you  have  favored  me.  They 
were  greeted  with  a  more  cordial  welcome,  because  I  have  been  so 
long  accustomed  to  sympathize  with  your  endeavors  to  extend  the 
doctrines  which  I  believe  to  be  intimately  connected  with  the  truth 
of  Scripture  and  the  prosperity  of  our  beloved  Church. 

"  I  earnestly  desire  that  the  Holy  Spirit  may  enable  me  to  com- 
ply with  your  request  that  I  should  pray  '  for  the  Watchmen  upon 
the  walls  of  Zion,  whose  responsibility  is  so  great,  and  whose  trials 
at  the  present  time  are  neither  few  nor  light.'  I  am  thankful  that 
you  have  been  already  made  willing  to  '  endure  hardness  as  a  good 


1853.]  LETTERS.  503 

soldier  of  Jesus  Christ/  and  am  not  surprised  at  your  realization  that 
there  will  be  much  necessity  for  further  aid  from  the  '  Captain  of 
our  salvation.'  It  means  much  at  the  present  time  to  be  a  Christian, 
to  be  a  Protestant,  to  be  a  Bishop.  There  are  'perils  among  false 
brethren/  as  well  as  the  onset  of  the  open  foe. 

"  The  atmosphere  is  enervating ;  many  soldiers  are  sleeping  at 
their  posts ;  and  they  who  wake  and  watch  would  survey  the  scene 
of  action  with  heavy  hearts,  if  they  did  not  hear  the  animating  voice 
of  their  Commander,  'Ye  are  they  which  have  continued  with  me  in 
my  temptation ;'  '  Lo  !  I  am  with  you  alway,  even  to  the  end  of  the 
world.'  '  I  shall  have  rest  enough  with  my  Saviour  !'  was  the  re- 
mark of  a  young  girl  who  suffered  much  from  physical  disease,  and 
surely  this  may  be  the  response  of  the  warrior  who  fights  the  battles 
of  the  Lord.  There  is  a  '  discharge  in  that  war.'  Oh,  how  peaceful 
the  repose,  how  ecstatic  the  joy  of  him  who  has  been  '  valiant  for 
the  truth  on  the  earth,'  who  has  instructed  the  ignorant,  confirmed 
the  inexperienced,  comforted  the  sorrowful  and  inspired  the  earnest 
with  more  zeal,  when  he  shall  be  greeted  by  them  all  in  the  presence 
of  that  Saviour,  upon  whose  redeeming  love  and  perfect  righteous- 
ness he  delighted  to  dwell,  as  he  led  them  in  their  pilgrimage  to  the 
promised  land. 

"I  am  glad  that  an  innumerahh  company  will  enjoy  the  happi- 
ness of  Heaven,  for  '  the  Lamb  which  is  in  the  midst  of  the  throne 
shall  lead  them  /  and  since  we  have  learned  even  here  that  He  is  a 
blessed  Saviour,  how  much  more  fully  shall  we  appreciate  His  charac- 
ter when  we  behold  Him  with  unclouded  vision  ! 

"  That  all  of  self  and  sin  may  be  laid  at  my  Redeemer's  cross,  and 
that  He  may  be  all  my  strength,  my  joy  and  righteousness,  I  trust 
you  will  sometimes  pray;  and  in  return  for  this  best  oflBce  of  Christ- 
ian sympathy,  accept,  dear  sir,  the  heartfelt  thanks  of ." 

To  Rev.  3Ir.  D. 

"  Feb.  2,  1853 
*     *     *     u  jf  all  jjjy  affectionate  remembrances  had  been  im- 
pressed in  legible  characters,  very  many  effusions  would  have  been 
transmitted  from  Greenwood  to  Magnolia,  and  among  the  most  ear- 
nest of  these  would  have  been  my  thanks  for  your  last  letter, 

"  I  appreciate  the  sympathy  which  has  been  elicited  by  the  report 
of  my  increasing  debility,  and  fervently  respond  to  all  you  tell  me 
of  the  wisdom  and  tenderness  of  my  Heavenly  Physician.  My  heart 
echoes  your  remark,  '  His  way  is  your  way.' 


604  LETTERS.  [1853. 

"  Willingly,  gladly,  I  accept  the  chastisement  I  so  much  require, 
and  although  I  realize  that  the  furnace  of  physical  suffering  is  one 
seven  times  heated,  I  know  I  shall  be  taken  out  of  it  with  nothing 
consumed  but  the  dross  from  which  I  desire  to  be  forever  separated. 
Oh  !  the  holiness  of  Heaven !  Surely,  this  is  its  highest  joy,  and 
the  *  nations  of  them  which  are  saved  shall  walk  in  the  light  of  it.' 
To  be  saved  from  self,  to  be  saved  from  sin,  will  be  far  better  than 
to  be  saved  from  suffering.  '  This  is  the  heritage  of  my  servants, 
and  their  righteousness  is  of  Me,  saith  the  Lord.'  Can  you  imagine 
any  other,  in  which  we  could  or  would  appear  in  the  presence  of  the 
'  High  and  Holy  One  that  inhabiteth  the  praises  of  eternity.'  Since 
it  is  alone  in  His  beloved  Son  that  He  is  well  pleased,  we  are  most 
thankful  to  relinquish  every  other  boast,  and  hide  ourselves  in  Him. 
We  have  tested  the  security  and  repose,  the  strong  consolation  of 
the  Refuge  which  has  sheltered  us;  and  since  the  Holy  Ghost  has 
commissioned  you  to  persuade  men  to  flee  to  the  Kock  of  our  salva- 
tion, I  *  bless  you  in  the  name  of  the  Lord.'  " 

To  Rev.  Dr.  May. 

"Feb.  5,  1853. 

''  Every  word  of  your  letter,  dear  Dr.  May,  was  acceptable  and 
appropriate.  Unworthy  as  I  am  of  the  safety,  the  unspeakable  bles- 
sedness, of  the  membership  with  '  the  Holy  Catholic  Church,'  and 
the  participation  in  the  *  Communion  of  Saints,'  upon  which  you 
congratulate  me,  I  thankfully  accept  the  warm  hand  of  Christian 
brotherly  kindness  you  extend. 

"  After  I  believed,  I  was  '  sealed  with  that  Holy  Spirit  of  promise 
which  is  the  earnest  of  our  inheritance,'  and  I  therefore  pursue  my 
journey  through  the  wilderness  wkh  constant  joy  in  my  heart;  but 
since  I  bear  with  me  many  spiritual  and  physical  infirmities,  I  am 
always  glad  when  I  hear  the  kind  voice  of  a  fellow-pilgrim  speak  to 
me  the  words  of  encouragement  and  instruction.  I  listen  most  atten- 
tively when  it  tells  me,  as  you  have  done,  that  Jesus  is  my  righteous- 
ness. He,  'sin  for  us' — we,  'the  righteousness  of  God  in  Him;'  and 
every  intellectual  conviction,  every  affection  of  the  heart,  all  my  ex- 
perience as  a  sinner  and  as  a  Christian  responds  to  your  remark, 
<  here  is  the  sum  of  the  Gospel ;'  and  that  the  merits  of  His  obedi- 
ence, as  the  passion  that  He  bore  in  our  stead,  must  be  imputed  to 
us  ere  '  God  can  be  just,  and  the  justifier  of  Him  that  believeth.' 
Every  other  system  of  theology  seems  to  me  derogatory  to  the  charac- 
ter of  God,  and  inadequate  to  the  necessities  of  the  sinner.    I  appre- 


1853.]  LETTERS.  505 

eiate  most  higbly  those  clergymen  and  those  books,  in  whose  teach- 
ing the  doctrine  is  most  prominent,  and  in  its  appropriation  I  sing 
the  song,  'I  will  greatly  rejoice  in  the  Lord;  my  soul  shall  be  joyful 
in  my  God;  for  He  hath  clothed  me  with  the  garment  of  salvation. 
He  hath  covered  me  with  the  robe  of  righteousness.' 

"  You  ask  me  if  I  have  not  seen  the  depth  of  ruin  in  sin  from 
■which  I  am  redeemed,  and  the  unspeakable  height  of  grace  to  which 
I  am  raised.  The  Holy  Spirit  has  taught  me  enough  of  these  truths 
to  excite  an  earnest  desire  to  understand  them  more  perfectly.  I 
learn  slowly,  but  have  a  gentle  and  patient  teacher,  who  will  not  dis- 
continue His  instructions. 

"  When  for  a  moment,  and  a  moment  only,  the  thought,  I  am  an 
orphan,  impressed  itself  with  agonizing  power,  and  when  my  sister, 
who  loved  me  with  almost  maternal  tenderness,  was  so  suddenly  wel- 
comed to  the  Home  in  which  her  treasure  long  had  been,  and  the 
tidings  came  to  me;  'the  Everlasting  Arms  were  underneath,'  and  I 
found  them  a  peaceful  and  blessed  resting-place.  I  am  surprised  that 
I  should  have  written  this,  but  your  letter  has  touched  a  chord  of 
deep  feeling,  and  its  vibrations  have  not  ceased.  '  Oh  praise  the 
Lord  with  me,  and  let  us  magnify  His  name  together.' 

"  You  remark,  that  I  may  sometimes  feel  that  it  were  better  '  to 
depart  and  bo  with  Christ.'  I  do  desire  to  be  freed  from  sin  and 
to  behold  His  glory,  but  I  feel  that  it  is  wrong  to  wonder  when  this 
consummation  will  be  given  me.  It  will  be  a  great  blessing  for  me 
to  go  to  Heaven  at  any  time,  and  I  trust  I  do  not  forget  that  '  to 
live  is  Christ.'  Still,  I  feel  that  I  am  not  sufficiently  thankful  that 
I  am  kept  longer  at  school,  that  my  spiritual  education  may  be  com- 
pleted, and  I  do  hope  you  will  ask  our  Heavenly  Father  to  enable 
me  to  reflect  the  image  of  His  beloved  Son  more  brightly  ere  I  leave 
this  earthly  abode,  in  which  I  have  received  so  much  mercy.  '  Ye 
are  my  witnesses,  saith  the  Lord.' 

"  I  did  not  suppose  that  you  would  expect  a  reply  to  your  letter, 
but  I  hoped  that  I  might  elicit  another  from  your  pen.  I  will  not 
ask  this  favor,  for  I  should  not  thus  best  express  my  realization  of 
your  many  responsibilities. 

"  It  is  one  of  my  almost  daily  prayers  that  you  may  be  made  a 
great  blessing  to  the  institution  with  which  you  are  connected.  I 
would  not  have  any  of  the  students  commence  their  ministry  with 
imperfect  views  of  truth.  It  would  be  sad,  indeed,  if  they  were  to 
give  but  faint  response  to  the  cry  the  Church  is  sounding,  '  Come 
and  help  us.'"     *     *     * 

43 


506  REMARKS.  [1853. 

Notes. 

'•^Feh.  l^tJi,  1853. consulted  her  about  reading. 

Sue  told  her  of  the  temptation  she  had  once  felt,  on  the 
banks  of  the  Neshamony,  to  read  a  French  book,  instead  of 
the  little  Testament  she  had  with  her.  When  convinced  of 
the  impropriety  of  novel-reading,  she  was  deeply  interested 
in  one  of  Scott's  most  engrossing  works  ;  but  aided  by  Divine 
grace,  she  resolutely  determined  not  to  finish  it. 

"  She  requested  me  to  mark  the  following,  in  Hewitson's 
Life,  saying  she  hoped  it  would  soon  be  marked  in  her  expe- 
rience :  '  The  Jordan  is  not  far  off.  A  few  breathings  of  the 
air  of  the  wilderness,  a  few  steps  across  its  dreary  sands,  and 
then  we  reach  home.'  She  added,  'Here  we  have  no  con- 
tinuing city,  but  we  seek  one  to  come.' 

"Susan  is  not  so  well.  She  said  to  me  to-day,  'I  have 
not  the  shadow  of  a  desire  to  live.  But  we  should  remember 
that  while  to  die  is  gain,  to  live  is  Christ ;  and  that  it  is 
more  acceptable  to  live  cheerfully,  than  to  be  impatient  to 
die.' 

"  As  I  gazed  from  the  window  upon  the  moon,  and  beheld 
the  garden  so  beautiful  in  the  soft  moon-light,  and  remarked 
upon  its  loveliness,  she  replied, 

'  If  such  the  glory  of  the  scene, 
Where  sin  and  death  abound, 
How  beautiful  beyond  compare 
Will  Paradise  be  found  !' 

According  to  her  quotation, 

'  The  place  where  her  soul  builds  its  nest, 
Is  the  tower  of  the  love  of  her  God.' 

"  She  spoke  this  evening  of  the  Bible,  of  its  being  '  all  our 
own,'  and  that  it  was  'a  wonderful  gift.' 

"  Told that  there  is  no  place  but  the  feet  of  Jesus 

where  there  is  any  security  from  being  '  careful  and  troubled 
about  many  things.'     'I  feel,'   she   said,   'that  the  paths 


1853.]  LETTERS.  507 

of  the  Lord  have  been  mercy  to  me.'     I  remarked  that  I  did 

not  think was  satisfied  with  the  world.     She  responded, 

'  Who  is  ?     Wliile  here  how  tasteless,  and  how  terrible  when 
gone !' 

"  Speaking  of  hymns,  she  remarked  that  '  Rock  of  Ages' 
stood  as  much  at  the  head  of  hymns,  as  Leighton  did  at  the 
head  of  theologians." 

To  tlie  Author. 

"Feb.  28,  1853. 

"  I  cannot  describe  to  you,  dear  Bishop ,  the  emotions  which 

were  awakened,  this  afternoon,  by  the  perusal  of  your  letter  to  our 
young  friend.  My  heart  had  so  earnestly  prompted  the  expression 
of  the  deep  sympathy  I  have  felt  for  you,  that  I  only  waited  an 
opportunity  of  ascertaining  if  your  darling  boy  had  become  a  disciple 
of  Jesus  ere  his  removal  to  the  eternal  world.  I  believed  that  you 
would  be  sustained  under  any  trial  which  God  had  given  you,  but 
desired  to  leai-n  that  gladness  had  been  mingled  with  your  sorrow. 
I  wished,  too,  to  send  you  the  copy  of  a  beautiful  letter  which  was 
written  by  a  lady  of  Boston  to  a  bereaved  mother,  but  knew  that  it 
would  be  inappropriate  if  you  had  not  reason  to  believe  that  your 
child  had  gone  to  a  Home  of  glory.  Oh  !  how  thankful  I  feel  to 
our  Heavenly  Father  that  He  has  given  you  this  great  consolation  ! 
Accept  my  fervent  congratulations,  even  while  the  tear  of  sympathy 
is  in  my  eye.  When  my  sister's  only  child  was  removed  by  scarlet 
fever,  in  his  early  childhood,  she  wrote  to  me,  a  few  hours  after  his 
death,  '  I  wished  to  have  trained  my  child  for  the  service  of  our 
Heavenly  Father;  but  He  has  taken  him  into  His  own  family  and 
will  instruct  him  there.'  I  have  been  informed,  not  by  your  letter 
only,  that  your  son  was  a  very  promising  youth,  and  greatly  regarded 
by  those  who  knew  him.  I  suppose  they  expected  he  would  pass, 
step  by  step,  along  the  paths  of  scholastic  lore,  and  then  enter  the 
active  scenes  of  life,  with  an  intellect  and  heart  prepared  for  their 
responsibilities.  But  his  best  Friend  loved  him  so  well  that  He 
extended  His  arm,  and  drew  the  youthful  disciple  who  was  sitting 
meekly  at  His  feet  to  the  bosom  of  His  grace,  that  He  might  shelter 
him  there  from  all  the  storms  of  life,  and  unfold  to  his  enraptured 
vision  '  the  treasures  of  wisdom  and  knowledge  which  are  hid  in 
Christ  Jesus.'     It  may  be  that  the  early  departure  of  this  dear  boy 


508  LETTERS.  [1853. 

will  be  a  greater  blessing  than  his  life  would  have  been.  Soon  after 
the  perusal  of  your  letter,  I  received  the  visits  of  two  young  friends, 
one  of  whom  hopes  she  has  recently  given  her  heart  to  God  and 
expects  to  be  confirmed  at  our  Bishop's  next  visit.  The  other  is  the 
only  child  of  a  lady  who  died  a  month  or  two  since  in  the  fullness 
of  spiritual  joy,  and  with  an  unwavering  trust  that  the  heart  of  her 
impenitent  child  would  be  subdued  by  the  power  of  grace.  I  told 
them  of  the  happy  departure  of  your  son,  who  was  of  their  own  age, 
and  I  trust  our  Heavenly  Father  will  impress  the  lesson.  I  wished 
you  had  been  here  to  have  talked  to  that  dear,  motherless  child,  for 
it  is  evident  that  the  Holy  Spirit  is  striving  with  her  young  heart, 
but  she  does  not  seem  willing  to  yield  to  His  influences.  I  feel 
assured  that  you  will  pray  for  her. 

"I  know  much  of  bereavement,  my  dear  friend ,  and  I  know 

much  of  consolation  too;  for  He,  whom  your  own  experience  has 
enabled  you  to  call  '  the  Father  of  mercies  and  God  of  all  comfort/ 
has  both  rendered  necessary  and  confirmed  the  promise,  'As  one 
whom  his  mother  comforteth,  so  will  I  comfort  you.'  A  most  pre- 
cious sister,  also,  and  many  valued  friends,  are  among  the  company 
to  which  your  dear  boy  has  been  admitted.  How  gladly  I  would  be 
with  them;  but  'my  times  are  in  Thy  hand.'  You  inquire  kindly 
of  my  health.  It  often  reminds  me  of  the  expression,  'The  furnace 
was  one  seven  times  heated ;'  but  it  is  not  in  the  rage  and  fury  of 
the  King  that  this  command  has  been  given. 

'  Love  oi'dered  the  plan,  and  in  love  such  as  Thine, 

How  shall  I  not  calmly  confide  ; 
Who  spared  not  to  save  me  an  offering  Divine  — 
The  Lamb  who  on  Calvary  died.' 

"  How  sincerely  and  warmly  I  thank  you  for  the  afi"ectionate 
counsel  you  have  given  your  new  pupil !  She  reads  your  letters 
again  and  again,  and  you  will  be  still  more  glad  to  learn  that  she 
rises  very  early,  that  she  may  seek  spiritual  blessings,  and  devotes 
much  of  the  day  to  the  Bible  and  prayer.  I  enjoyed  the  only  visit 
she  has  been  able  to  make  me,  but  inferred  from  the  deep  hectic  on 
her  cheek  that  Heaven  will  soon  be  her  home.  Her  remarkable 
consistency  is  realized  by  her  family,  by  whom  she  is  most  tenderly 
cherished. 

"  My  long,  slate-pencilled  letter  is  an  evidence  that  I  have  fully 
availed  myself  of  the  privilege  of  our  acquaintance.  It  has  given  me 
pleasure  to  assure  you  of  the  sympathy  I  have  so  often  expressed  in 


1853.J  LETTERS.  509 

prayer.  '  The  GoJ,  whose  you  are  and  whom  you  serve,'  will  con- 
tinue to  pour  the  '  oil  of  joy'  into  yx)ur  wounded  heart,  and  thus 
anointed,  you  will  be  the  messenger  of  consolation  to  many  a  child 
of  sorrow. 

"  Believe  me,  my  very  kind  friend,  in  '  the  confidence  of  a  certain 
faith/  respectfully  and  affectionately  yours." 

To  R.  S. 

"March  9,  1853. 

"  I  have  so  much  confidence  in  your  affection,  dear  Robert,  that  I 
feel  well  assured  that  you  have  desired  to  receive  an  expression  of 
my  undiminished  interest,  and  that  you  have  given  me  full  credit 
for  its  continuance.  Your  own  affectionate  letters  have  been  most 
welcome,  and  each  one  has  deserved  a  prompt  reply ;  but  I  always 
expect  to  be  an  epistolary  insolvent,  and  to  retain  the  reputation  of 
an  honest  desire  to  discharge  my  debts.     *     *     * 

"  The  visits  of  two  ladies  have  occupied  the  time  I  had  devoted  to 
you,  my  dear  cousin,  and  I  shall  have  to  dicta;te  the  remainder  of  my 
letter,  but  I  will  not  send  away  my  slate  until  I  tell  you  that  one  of 
these  visits  was  from  the  earnest  young  Christian  of  whom  I  told  you 
when  you  were  with  us  at  Christmas.  She  grows  in  grace,  and  in 
'  the  knowledge  of  our  Lord  and  Saviour  Jesus  Christ.'  The  ardor 
of  her  aspirations  after  holiness  reminds  me  of  my  beloved  Lucie, 
and  it  is  so  delightful  to  feel  that  1  may  always  encourage  and 
try  to  comfort.  The  Holy  Spirit  has  taught  her  that  pursuits  in 
which  many  communicants  engage  are  uncongenial  with  a  spiritual 
taste,  and  inconsistent  with  a  Christian  profession;  and  it  is  most 
cheering  to  witness,  in  these  days  of  worldly  conformity,  a  very  young 
disciple  whose  step  is  directed  heavenward.  Oh  !  pray  for  me,  for  I 
would  be  a  blessing  to  Christ's  little  ones.  I  would  know  how  to 
speak  of  the  Good  Shepherd;  how  to  describe  the  green  pastures  and 
still  waters  of  salvation.  Such  a  Shepherd  as  ours,  dear  Robert  — 
such  a  Fold  as  that  which  encloses  us.  How  can  we  express  His 
preciousness ?     How  can  we  expatiate  upon  its  blessedness? 

"  I  have  many  opportunities  of  making  this  attempt,  since  the 
young  girls  who  are  members  of  sister  E.'s  Bible  class  come  very 
frequently  to  see  me.  Six  or  seven  of  them  are  candidates  for  Con- 
firmation, which  is  to  take  place  the  24th  of  next  month.  Some  of 
them  have  been  seriously  impressed  for  some  months  past ;  my  very 
soul  yearns  over  them." 

43* 


510  A     WORD     OF     WARNING.  [1853. 

Writing  of  Felix,  in  a  letter  to  a  youth,  she  remarks  : 

"March,  1853. 

"  We  have  reason  to  think  that  this  '  convenient  season'  did  not 
occur.  Two  years  after,  when  this  procrastinating  governor  was 
ejected  from  offiee,  he  '  left  Paul  bound,'  thus  proving  that  his  heart 
was  unchanged;  and  Henry,  the  commentator,  remarks:  'How 
Felix  struggled  to  get  clear  of  these  impressions,  and  to  shake  off 
the  terror  of  his  convictions  !  He  said,  "  Go  thy  way,"  &c.  He 
trembled,  and  that  was  all.  Paul's  trembling  (Acts  9  :  6),  and  the 
jailer's  (Chap.  16  :  29),  ended  in  their  conversion,  but  this  of  Felix 
did  not.  Many  lose  the  benefit  of  their  convictions  for  want  of 
striking  while  the  iron  is  hot.  If  Felix,  now  that  he  trembled,  had 
but  asked  as  Paul  and  the  jailer  did,  "  What  shall  I  do  to  be  saved?" 
he  might  have  been  a  Felix  indeed,  happy  forever;  but  by  dropping 
his  convictions  now,  he  lost  them  forever,  and  himself  with  them.' 

"  Many  years  have  passed  since  the  occurrence  of  this  event. 
Felix  has  had  a  long  line  of  successors.  How  sad,  how  terrible  their 
concert  of  woe  !  How  shall  I  endure  to  see  the  destruction  of  my 
kindred?  I  have  asked  for  a  slate  and  pencil,  that  I  might  ti-ace 
some  lines  of  warning  and  earnest  entreaty,  for  it  is  my  heart's  desire 
and  prayer  that  you  may  be  saved.  You  seem  to  realize,  in  some 
degree,  that  '  he  that  believeth  not  the  Son  shall  not  see  life,  but 
the  wrath  of  God  abideth  on  him.'  I  cannot  suppose,  however,  that 
you  have  very  seriously  considerod  that  the  wrath  of  God  is  a  heavy, 
a  crushing  weight;  that  it  is  abiding  on  you  when  you  lie  down,  and 
rise  up ;  when  you  study,  and  when  you  seek  amusement.  It  has 
not  yet  pressed  you  down  into  an  unprepared  eternity,  because  your 
oifended  Maker  is  awaiting  an  application  for  its  removal.  Your 
Redeemer,  whose  comprehensive  vision  has  included  all  the  agonies 
of  eternal  torment,  and  all  the  happiness  of  Heaven,  has  suffered  more 
than  thought  or  language  can  estimate  to  recover  you  from  the  one, 
to  secure  to  you  the  other.  You  design  to  avail  yourself  of  this 
proffered  salvation,  but  not  7Wto.  1  will  not  emphasize  the  ingrati- 
tude, but  the  danger,  of  this  delay.  I  will  not  increase  the  length 
of  my  letter  by  illustrations  of  the  fatal  result  of  the  course  you  ex- 
pect to  pursue,  illustrations  which  have  occurred  among  my  own 
acquaintance,  and  have  received  no  printed  record ;  but  I  will  pray, 
I  will  labor,  that  you  may  never  be  included  in  their  number. 

"  Oh,  F.  !  God  has  said,  '  My  Spirit  shall  not  always  strive.' 
'Rphraira  is  joined  to  his  idols;  let  him  alone.'  Does  not  every 
moment  of  procrastinarion  increase  the  probability  that  this  edict 


1853.]  LETTEKS.  511 

will  go  forth  against  yoxi  ?  Arc  you  willing  to  incur  the  risk  of 
spending  the  uncounted  ages  of  eternity  with  idols  which  have  lost 
their  power  to  please,  but  will  never  lose  their  ability  to  torment  ? 
Are  you  willing  to  be  '  let  alone/  to  be  forsaken  by  God  the  '  Father 
of  mercies/  the  '  Holy  Ghost  the  Comforter/  Jesus  '  the  Consolation 
of  Israel'  ?  Oh !  pray  that  this  threefold  cord  of  everlasting  love 
may  draw  you  away  from  your  threefold  foe  —  the  world,  the  flesh 
and  the  devil.  There  are  no  promises  ofi"ere(i  to  him  that  defers,  but 
how  kind  the  invitation,  '  Acquaint  now  thyself  with  Him,  and  be 
at  peace ;  thereby  good  shall  come  unto  thee.' 

''  Are  you  ready  to  accept  my  Saviour  as  your  Saviour?  My  own 
experience  has  taught  me  that  '  He  is  fairer  than  the  children  of 
men.'  If  you  will  surrender  your  sinful  heart  to  Him,  He  will  give 
you  'a  new  heart  and  a  right  spirit.'  He  will  wash  away  every  sin, 
and  overcome  by  His  omnipotent  grace  the  evil  propensities  of  your 
nature.  He  will  sanctify  your  aSections,  and  elevate  your  pursuits. 
You  will  wonder,  when  this  transformation  shall  have  been  efi"ected, 
that  sin  and  folly  were  ever  attractive,  and  will  rejoice  with  unutter- 
able delight  that  your  judgment  and  affections  concur  in  the  same 
object;  that  in  that  object  is  no  satiety,  but  that  all  your  necessity 
is  ability  to  appreciate  it  more  fully,  and  all  your  hope  its  everlasting 
enjoyment. 

"  I  wish  to  say  more  to  you  of  my  blessed  Redeemer,  but  you 
cannot  behold  His  beauty  '  afar  off.'  Come  to  Him,  come  to  Him, 
now,  dear  F. ;  and  we  will  rejoice  together,  and  the  Saviour  who  died 
for  you  will  '  see  of  the  travail  of  His  soul  and  be  satisfied.'  " 

To  a  Niece. 

"  March  21,  1853. 
"  I  felt  such  an  overflowing  of  love  towards  you  a  few  moments 
since,  my  darling  S.,  that  after  I  had  lifted  up  my  heart  in  prayer 
that  our  Heavenly  Father  would  bless  you,  and  make  me  a  blessing 
to  you,  I  determined  to  write  you  a  few  lines  of  Christian  love.  Oh  ! 
that  the  Holy  Spirit  may  be  richly  poured  into  your  young  heart ! 
Oh  !  that  the  love  of  Christ  may  be  the  constraining  impulse  and 
principle  of  your  whole  life  !  '  Covet  earnestly  the  best  gifts.'  Do 
not  be  satisfied  with  any  ordinary  measure  of  grace.  Be  diligent  in 
the  use  of  every  means  of  spiritual  improvement.  Remember  you 
are  seeking  eternal  blessings.  They  are  worthy  your  most  earnest 
pursuit.  But,  dear  S.,  if  you  would  be  successful  in  these  efforts, 
attempt  them  not  in  your  own  strength.    Go  to  your  blessed  Saviour 


512  LETTERS.  [1853. 

for  every  thing  you  need,  with  all  youi-  sins,  with  all  your  tempta- 
tions. 

'  Since  His  own  blood  for  thee  lie  spilt, 
What  else  can  He  withhold  ?' 

"Surely  shall  we  say,  'In  the  Lord  have  I  righteousness  and 
strength.'  There  is  no  other  righteousness,  dear  S.,  there  is  no 
other  strength  !  I  love  to  have  you  with  me,  my  precious  child,  and 
as  I  hope  to  go  soon  to  my  Father's  House,  you  must  pass  as  much 
time  with  me  as  you  can  spare. 

"  Your  own  dear  and  very  affectionate  Aunt  Sue." 

To  a  Youth. 

"March  16,  1853. 
"  My  long-neglected  writing-desk  has  been  beautifully  polished, 
and  our  valued  friend,  Mr.  B.,  installed  into  the  oflBce  of  private 
secretary.  Would  you  not  like,  dear ,  to  receive  a  communi- 
cation from  my  heart  through  his  pen  ?  At  all  events,  you  are 
selected  as  the  recipient  of  the  thoughts  of  this  evening,  and  very 
affectionate  thoughts  they  are.  They  have  sometimes  been  expressed 
to  you  in  words,  but  more  frequently  in  earnest  petitions  that  the 
Father  of  mercies  would  make  you  His  own  dear  child,  by  faith  in 
Christ  Jesus.  I  have  sometimes  felt  as  though  the  assurance  of  your 
conversion  would  be  an  overwhelming  joy ;  but  oh  how  I  wish  it  may 

be  given  me  now  !    I  am  not  willing  to  wait  for  it,  dear .  Why 

should  I  ?  The  work  of  salvation  is  a  finished  work  j  the  promises 
are  given  us  in  the  present  tense.  Your  necessity  is  a  present  neces- 
sity. Oh,  come  to  Jesus  for  its  immediate  supply.  Let  us  consider 
the  evils  which  I  would  have  you  escape,  and  the  blessings  I  am  so 
desirous  you  should  gain.  I  cannf^t  adequately  speak  of  either;  but 
this  I  know,  that  the  wrath  of  God  abideth  on  every  unconverted 
soul.  Are  you  unconverted,  my  dear  boy,  and  is  this  weight  resting 
upon  you?  0  pray  that  you  may  realize  your  condition.  You  know 
that  the  law  is  holy,  the  commandment  good,  and  your  conscience 
tells  you  that  you  have  incurred  its  penalties.  Examine  yourself  by 
its  requisitions ;  carefully  compare  your  heart  and  life  with  the  deca- 
logue, remembering  that  its  every  command  extends  to  the  innermost 
recesses  of  the  spirit.  Subject  yourself  to  the  test  of  the  summary 
of  this  law  which  our  blessed  Redeemer  has  given,  *  Thou  shalt  love 
the  Lord  thy  God  with  all  thy  heart,  and  with  all  thy  soul,  and  with 
all  thy  mind,  and  with  all  thy  strength ;  and  thy  neighbor  as  thy- 
self.'    The  High  and  Holy  One  who  spoke  from  Sinai,  and  again 


1853.]  LETTERS.  513 

in  the  Gospel  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  has  emphatically  declared, 
'Whosoever  shall  keep  the  whole  law,  and  yet  oifend  in  one  point, 
he  is  guilty  of  all.'  Also,  '  The  soul  that  sinneth,  it  shall  die.' 
May  the  Holy  Spirit  impress  upon  your  mind  the  inference  I  would 
have  you  draw.  If  I  could  know  that  the  tears  of  repentance  were 
falling  from  your  eyes,  mine  would  be  filled  with  tears  of  joy.  Ah  ! 
they  are  coming  now;  not  tears  of  joy,  but  of  great  solicitude. 

"  Let  us  turn,  now,  from  your  condition  as  it  is,  to  what  I  would 
have  it  to  be  —  one  of  penitence,  pardon  and  peace  —  acceptance  in 
the  Beloved  —  the  witness  of  the  Spirit  bearing  witness  with  your 
spirit  that  you  are  the  child  of  God  —  the  Gospel  incorporated  into 
your  daily  practice  —  heaven  drawing  nearer  to  you,  and  you  to  it, 
as  you  rapidly  press  onward  until  its  glory  conceal  you  from  human 
view.  What  is  the  price  for  so  much  happiness  ?  It  is  very,  very 
great,  but  it  has  been  already  paid.  '  God  so  loved  the  world  that 
lie  gave  His  only  begotten  Son.'  What  does  He  ask  in  return  ? 
*  My  son,  give  me  thine  heart.'  And  what  is  the  exchange  for  this 
poor  offering  ?  '  A  new  heart  will  I  give  you,  and  a  new  spirit  will 
I  put  within  you.'  '  I  will  take  the  stony  heart  out  of  your  flesh, 
and  I  will  give  you  a  heart  of  flesh.'  'I  will  sprinkle  c^ean  water 
upon  you,  and  from  all  your  filthiness  and  from  all  your  idols  I  will 
cleanse  you.' 

"  Unbelief  and  sin  invest  the  plan  of  salvation  with  difilculties 
which  are  not  its  accompaniment.  '  Believe  on  the  Lord  Jesus 
Christ  and  thou  shalt  be  saved,'  is  the  only  condition  of  the  Word 
of  God.  That  you  may  be  enabled  to  accept  it,  shall  be  the  con- 
tinued prayer  of " 

To  Miss  S. 

"  Greenwood,  April  13,  1853. 
'Your  letter  gave  me  much  pleasure,  dear  Miss  S.  I  should  have 
been  glad  to  have  acknowledged  its  reception  long  since.  It  is  so 
pleasant  to  repeat  the  story  of  redeeming  love,  to  encourage  the  re- 
turning sinner  to  hasten  to  her  Father's  arms.  I  feel  very  thankful 
that  you  have  been,  in  some  degree,  enabled  to  realize  the  tenderness 
of  that  Father's  heart,  and  trust  that  you  have  been  drawn  so  near 
Him,  that  you  can  hear  the  whispers  of  His  Spirit,  and  behold  His 
love  as  it  is  revealed  in  Jesus  Christ  our  Saviour.  We  cannot  force 
ourselves  to  love  our  Heavenly  Father,  by  any  abstract  efibrt.  It  is 
better  to  meditate  on  all  He  is  to  us,  upon  all  He  is  in  Himself.  In 
the  contemplation  of  such  a  Being,  we  shall  deeply  feel  our  need  of 
2h 


514  THE     PSALMS.  [1853. 

the  constant  influence  of  the  Holy  Spirit.  '  We  haVfe  known  and 
believed  the  love  that  God  hath  to  us/  is  an  expression  of  Scripture 
to  me  particularly  interesting.  Does  it  not  comprehend  the  whole 
of  Christian  experience  ?  Does  it  not  excite  the  most  earnest  desire 
for  greater  ability  to  appreciate  its  language  ?  How  can  we  know 
and  believe  such  love  as  this  ?  We  may  well  employ  the  language, 
'  How  precious  also  are  thy  thoughts  unto  me,  0  God  !  how  great  is 
the  sum  of  them  !  If  I  should  count  them,  they  are  more  in  num. 
bers  than  the  sand  !'  Still,  it  is  well  to  commence  the  enumeration 
in  which  we  shall  be  employed  through  all  eternity.  One  most  happy 
result  of  this  employment  will  be  an  increasing  forgetfulness  of  self. 
Self-love  is  a  potent  and  vigilant  foe,  and  the  Christian  warrior  must 
ever  realize  this  fact.  It  is  the  love  of  Christ  which  conquers  this 
unwearied  adversary,  and  here  again  the  victory  is  achieved,  not  by 
an  effort  of  the  mind,  but  by  the  pre-occupation  of  a  holier  and  better 
affection.  Do  not  be  discouraged  by  your  slowness  to  believe.  *  He 
giveth  more  grace.'  Let  your  course  be  ever  onward,  and  it  will 
lead  you  to  '  the  haven  where  you  would  be.'  If  you  would  be  safe, 
if  you  would  be  happy,  you  must  forsake  self,  and  follow  the  Lord, 
fully. 

"  You  will  please  your  Father  in  Heaven  if  you  trust  Him  with 
child-like  confidence.  You  will  thus  be  taught  the  truth  of  the  asser- 
tion, *  The  joy  of  the  Lord  is  your  strength.'  How  often  our  thanks- 
givings become  more  frequent,  when  we  express  them  in  the  language 
of  Scripture  !  Have  you  ever  thus  employed  the  103d  Psalm  ?  Tell 
rue,  when  you  answer  my  letter,  if  you  have  not  been  enabled  to 
hold  communion  with  your  best  and  dearest  Friend  ?  Observe,  too, 
the  beauty  of  the  succeeding  Psalm.  The  103d  recounts  the  bless- 
ings of  redemption,  the  104th  expatiates  upon  creating  and  preserv- 
ing mercy. 

"  Have  you  ever  observed  how  often  a  Psalm  which  commences 
with  a  cry  for  mercy,  concludes  with  grateful  praise  and  adoration  ? 
Is  not  this  a  great  encouragement  to  pray  without  ceasing  ?  '  They 
shall  praise  the  Lord,  who  seek  Him.' 

"  This  is  a  delightful  subject,  but  I  will  not  dwell  upon  it  longer 
this  evening.  It  is  quite  time  I  should  release  the  kind  friend  who 
gives  form  to  my  spoken  thoughts.  I  will  only  detain  him  until  he 
shall  have  assured  you  that  I  am,  with  affection  and  prayerful  in- 
terest." 


1853.]  A    MISSIVE    OF    AFFECTION.  515 

To  Mrs.  a  S.  0. 

"April,  1853. 
"  Tlie  communication  of  this  evening,  beloved,  is  not  only  a  reply 
to  thy  most  welcome  note,  but  the  fulfilment  of  a  desire  which  I 
have  been  unwillingly  prevented  from  gratifying.  Works  of  neces- 
sity and  mercy  have  asserted  a  paramount  claim,  but  this  evening  I 
gladly  express  some  thoughts  of  afFection.  Deep  and  strong  is  my 
love  for  thee,  and  '  memory  swells  with  many  recollected  acts  of  love,' 
and  gratitude,  one  of  the  most  pleasant  exercises  of  affection,  has 
gone  forth  in  full  tide  towards  thee,  the  friend  of  many  years.    I  am 

glad  thee  did  not  accompany ,  as  these  easterly  winds  would 

have  caused  me  much  solicitude.  How  often  I  think  of  that  beauti- 
ful text,  'Awake,  0  north  wind,  and  come  thou  south;  and  blow 
upon  my  garden,  that  the  spices  thereof  may  flow  out.  Let  my  beloved 
come  into  His  garden,  and  eat  His  pleasant  fruits.'  llomaine  has 
beautifully  compared  the  north  wind  to  the  reproofs,  and  the  south 
wind  to  the  consolations  of  the  Holy  Spirit.  Surely  both  are  among 
those  best  gifts  we  do  well  to  '  earnestly  covet.'  '  Herein  is  my 
Father  glorified  that  ye  bear  much  fruit/  is  a  passage  of  Scripture 
which  has  suggested  many  an  earnest  prayer.  Oh  that  our  Father 
in  Heaven  may  '  work  in  us  both  to  will  and  to  do  of  His  good  plea- 
sure.' We  are  never  straitened  in  Him.  He  had  much  rather  we 
should  draw  largely  from  the  treasury  of  His  grace,  and  surely  He 
deserves  to  be  honored  by  unwavering  confidence  and  implicit  obedi- 
ence. I  wish  we  did  always  walk  as  '  children  of  Light;'  I  wish  we 
were  in  all  things  'followers  of  God  as  dear  children;'  but  we  have 
failed  in  every  good  word  and  work,  and  are  glad  to  *  flee  for  refuge 
to  the  hope  set  before  us.'  Still,  while  we  appropriate  our  Redeemer 
as  the  Lord  our  Righteousness,  we  will  not  for  a  moment  forget  that 
we  are  chosen  that  we  '  may  be  holy  and  without  blame  before  Him 
in  love.'  How  truly  is  holiness  a  constituent  of  happiness!  'Thou 
shalt  call  His  name  Jesus,  for  He  shall  save  His  people  from  their 
sins.'  I  did  not,  however,  intend  to  make  so  many  quotations  from 
Scripture,  but  rather  to  address  to  thee  a  missive  of  affection  ;  but  we 
should  never  have  loved  each  other  so  well  if  our  communications 
had  been  of  ourselves  only.  Is  not  intercourse,  is  not  every  thing 
most  pleasant,  when  the  name  of  Jesus  is  as  'ointment  poured  forth' 
upon  it?  I  expect  to  'behold  the  King  in  His  beauty' — perhaps 
ere  long;  but  I  would  patiently  await  His  pleasure,  and  study  His 
character  during  the  interval.     He  is  '  all  my  salvation  and  all  my 


516  DIARY.  [1853. 

desire;'  but  He  would  have  me  reflect  His  image  more  clearly,  ere 
He  admit  me  to  His  unclouded  vision.  I  thank  thee,  beloved,  for 
the  sympathy  with  which  thee  has  cheered  my  pilgrimage,  and  I 
thank  thee  most  for  thy  anticipations  of  my  future  happiness.  Oh, 
how  unworthy  I  am  of  thy  hopes  and  mine;  but  'this  is  a  faithful 
saying  and  worthy  of  all  acceptation,  that  Christ  Jesus  came  into  the 
world  to  save  sinners.'     A  delusive  theology  would  not  do  for  me, 

dear ,  would  it  ?     Does  thee  remember  a  sermon  of  Leighton's 

upon  the  text,  '  Of  him  are  ye  in  Christ  Jesus,  who  of  God  is  made 
unto  us  wisdom,  and  righteousness,  and  sauctification  and  redemp- 
tion'?     I  love  that  sermon  well. 

"Give  my  love  to  C.  0.  S.,  and  tell  him  that  the  injunction  of 
Scripture  is  not  alone  that  he  shall  remember  his  Creator  in  the  days 
of  his  youth,  but  that  he  shall  remember  Him  now.  Tell  him  those 
who  love  the  Saviour  have  a  goodly  heritage,  and  I  trust  he  will  not 
refuse  it.  Remember  me  affectionately  to  M.,  and  tell  her  she  must 
go  to  Jesus  as  she  is,  that  He  may  make  her  all  she  ought  to  be. 
Ask  her  if  the  twilight  hour  be  always  remembered.  I  am  glad  she 
is  one  of  your  household  now,  and  do  not  forget  to  ask  blessings  for 
her. 

From  her  Diary. 

^^ Sunday  morning,  May  Stii.  — '  Sing  ye  praises  with  un- 
derstanding.' To  be  enabled  to  sing  praises  with  understand- 
ing, we  must  have,  first,  an  object  worthy  of  praise ;  second, 
we  must  understand  the  worthiness  of  that  object. 

'■^July  15th.  —  Last  week  I  received  the  Communion.  It 
was,  to  me,  an  affecting  occasion.  I  thought  of  the  holy 
worship  which  my  mother  and  sister  were  then  offering  to 
the  Most  High.  Oh,  when  shall  '  a  nobler,  sweeter  song'  be 
given  me  ?  '  The  Lord  my  Righteousness'  is  my  hope  and 
joy  now,  and  in  heaven  I  shall  praise  as  I  ought ;  but  oh ! 
how  unworthy  are  all  my  present  attempts,  and  how  easily 
am  I  diverted  even  from  the  attemjjt  to  worship  and  adore  ! 
But,  Lord,  Thou  wilt  never  leave  me  nor  forsake  me.  '  Thou 
hast  given  commandment  to  save  me.'  " 


1853.]  LETTERS.  517 

To  Miss  S.  E.  L. 

"  May  4,  1853. 

"If  all  my  thoughts  of  sympathy  and  aiFection  had  been  penned, 
dear  S.,  many  sheets  would  have  been  presented  to  thy  perusal  in 
lieu  of  this  one  effusion.  Earnest  and  joyful  are  my  congratulations 
upon  the  rich  mercies  '  our  Father'  has  vouchsafed  thee.  How  gently 
He  has  led  thee  along  the  path  of  duty  and  of  peace,  giving  thee 
grace  to  take  one  step  in  obedience  to  His  command,  and  to  trust 
Him  for  ability  to  go  forward,  when  His  will  should  have  been  further 
revealed  !  Surely  thee  may  now  say,  '  He  maketh  me  to  lie  down 
in  green  pastures,  He  leadeth  me  beside  the  still  waters/  and  do  not 
be  afraid  to  add,  '  Surely  goodness  and  mercy  shall  follow  me  all 
the  days  of  my  life,  and  I  shall  dwell  in  the  house  of  the  Lord  for 
ever.' 

"  It  is  pleasant,  very  pleasant,  to  inquire  in  the  earthly  temple ; 
but  oh  !  how  much  better  it  will  be  to  '  behold  the  beauty  of  the 
Lord'  in  the  upper  sanctuary !  Can  we  not  adopt  the  sentiment 
which  sister  read  to  me  this  morning  from  the  life  of  Simeon ; 
although  we  have  not  equalled  him  in  the  time  and  earnestness  of 
his  experience  ?  '  There  are  but  two  objects  that  I  have  ever  desired 
for  these  forty  years  to  behold ;  the  one  is  my  own  vileness;  and  the 
other  is,  the  glory  of  God  in  the  face  of  Jesus  Christ.' 

"  Let  us  ask  more  importunately  for  ourselves,  and  each  other, 
that  the  glory  of  our  Redeemer  may  be  more  fully  revealed  to  us. 
Let  us  study  His  character  with  more  attention,  let  us  know  nothing 
but  Jesus  Christ,  and  Him  crucified ;  then,  dear  S.,  it  will  be  of 
comparatively  little  importance  whether  external  circumstances  be 
prosperous  or  adverse,  or  if  our  earthly  tabernacles  be  more  or  less 
exposed  to  pain  and  weariness. 

"  Let  us  know  more  and  more  of  our  Saviour,  and  our  holiness 
and  happiness  will  proportionally  increase.  Let  us  bring  every  sin 
to  the  precious  fountain  of  His  blood,  every  temptation  to  Him  who 
has  made  a  way  to  escape,  every  sorrow  to  so  compassionate  an. 
'  High  Priest,'  *  Such  an  High  Priest  became  us.'  In  having  Him, 
have  we  not  all  things  ? 

"I  am  so  thankful,  so  happy  that  such  a  possession  is  thine, 
my  own  dear  S.  Return  continual  thanks,  and  pray  for  grace 
to  bless  the  Lord  at  all  times,  to  lose  thyself  in  Him." 

44 


518  AFRICAN    MISSIONS.  [1853. 

To  R.  S. 

"May  11,  1853. 
"  I  think,  my  dear  cousin,  you  would  like  to  have  an  impromptu 
letter  from  me.  Several  unanswered  epistles  claim  my  attention,  but 
it  is  to  you  that  the  thoughts  of  this  evening  shall  be  expressed. 
I  thought  of  you  with  peculiar  interest  yesterday.  I  had  quite  an 
interesting  conversation  with  the  master  of  a  little  sweep,  who  had 
ascended  my  chimney  to  prepare  it  for  the  cheerful  open  fire  which 
I  always  so  much  enjoy  in  the  spring.  Both  the  hoy  and  the  mas- 
ter attend  the  Church  of  the  Crucifixion ;  the  latter  attends  a  Bible 
class,  and  is  a  member  of  a  temperance  society.  The  poor  little 
sweep  is  iu  the  Sunday  School,  and  sang  a  hymn  tune  when  he 
reached  the  top  of  the  chimney.  It  comforted  me  much  to  know 
that  there  are  some  who  care  for  the  souls  of  these  poor  colored 
people,  and  my  heart  was  gladdened  by  the  reflection  that  my  own 
dear  cousin  had  determined  to  go  to  the  home  of  their  forefathers 
to  tell  them  that  Jesus  loves  them ;  that  whilst  so  many  of  their  fel- 
low-creatures have  sought  to  reduce  them  to  bondage,  He  has  died 
to  redeem  them  unto  Himself,  and  to  bring  them  into  the  glorious 
liberty  of  the  children  of  God.  Oh,  how  pleasant  it  will  be  to  assure 
them  of  such  love ;  to  go  into  the  very  kingdom  of  darkness  in  the 
name  of  the  Prince  of  peace  !  I  do  not  love  you  too  well  for  such  a 
service  as  this,  and  in  this  assurance  I  give  you  a  stronger  proof  of 
affection  than  if  I  were  to  beg  you  to  '  count  your  life  dear  unto 
you,'  to  spare  yourself  and  your  friends  the  trial  of  separation.  Mr. 
L.  visited  me  this  afternoon,  and  spoke  of  a  young  missionary  belong- 
ing to  the  Baptist  Church  who  has  recently  sailed  for  Africa.  The 
Consistory,  he  says,  objected  to  the-  locality  he  had  chosen,  on  account 
of  its  unhealthiness,  but  one  of  them  remarked  that  they  would  incur 
a  great  responsibility  by  opposing  his  desire,  and  stated  that  some 
time  before  a  young  man,  who  had  intended  to  lead  a  missionary  life, 
was  persuaded  by  his  friends  to  remain  in  his  own  country,  but,  a 
few  weeks  after  ho  assumed  the  charge  of  a  church,  he  was  attacked 
by  an  epidemic  and  died.  He  thought  the  friends  of  the  young  man 
should  not  have  influenced  him  to  resist  the  call  of  duty.  I  must 
confess,  however,  that  although  I  hope  to  '  pass  over  Jordan'  before 
you  leave  the  shores  of  your  own  country,  I  do  think  of  you  with 
very  great  tenderness  when  I  remember  that  you  are  to  go  so  far 
away.  But  need  I  feel  anxious  about  you,  my  own  dear  cousin  ? 
Have  you  ii'^t  'a  name  and  an  inheritance'  better  than  the  world 


1853.]  LETTERS.  519 

could  give  you?  Is  not  God  your  reconciled  Father;  Jesus,  your 
Saviour  and  Counsellor;  the  Holy  Ghost  the  faithful  Friend  who 
reproves,  comforts  and  guides  you  ?  And  will  He  be  with  you  less 
when  you  have  said  farewell  to  earthly  friends  ? 

*  *  *  "I  wish  I  knew  whether  you  have  received  any  descrip- 
tion of  the  interesting  Confirmation  of  two  or  three  weeks  since.  I 
should  like  to  tell  you  all  about  the  colored  girl  who  was  invited  to 
sister  M.'s  class  by  dear  M.  H.,  and  then  brought  to  the  Saviour,  as 
we  trust,  by  the  instrumentality  of  this  young  disciple.  She  was 
baptized  in  my  room,  and  confirmed  the  following  Sunday.  My 
very  dear  S.  L.  has  also  been  confirmed,  and  is  one  of  the  most 
whole-hearted  children  of  our  Heavenly  Father  with  whom  I  am 
acquainted."     *     *     * 

To  the  Author. 

"  May  18th,  1853. 

"  I  wish  it  were  a  matter  of  fact,  as  well  as  of  feeling,  that  I  had 
known  you  these  many  years,  dear  Bishop ;  but  it  is  a  pleasant 
reflection  that  a  Christian  friendship  which  may  have  had  little  con- 
nection with  the  past,  presents  in  addition  to  all  present  enjoyment 
an  unlimited  future.  The  physical  impediments  which  so  often 
interfere  with  the  expression  of  this  hallowed  regard,  with  all  the 
spiritual  imperfections  which  prevent  its  exercise,  will  have  passed 
away  when  we  awake  with  the  likeness  of  our  adorable  Redeemer. 

"  My  attention  was  attracted  a  few  days  since  by  the  declaration 
of  St.  John,  '  If  we  walk  in  the  lipiht,  as  He  is  in  the  light,  we  have 
fellowship  one  with  another ;'  and  I  felt  a  fervent  desire  that  a  more 
holy  and  steadfast  radiance  should  illumine  all  my  friendships. 

"  When  you  write  to  me  again,  will  you  not  make  some  comments 
upon  the  passage — 'We  have  known  and  believed  the  love  that  God 
hath  to  us'  ?  Surely,  if  I  could  in  an  unqualified  sense  make  this 
language  my  own,  I  should  know  no  spiritual  restriction.  I  do 
know  and  believe,  and  constantly  experience,  that  God  hath  great 
love  to  us ;  but  it  is  quite  as  needful  to  say,  '  I  will  appreciate  Thy 
love  when  Thou  shalt  enlarge  my  heart,'  as  to  express  the  senti- 
ment, 'I  will  run  the  way  of  Thy  commandments  when  Thou  shalt 
enlarge  my  heart.'  But  our  Heavenly  Father  will  do  all  this,  and 
though  His  children  may  learn  slowly,  they  shall  all  be  well  taught; 
therefore,  I  do  not  'doubt,  but  earnestly  believe.' 

"  Has  not  His  paternal  character  been  beautifully  manifested 
towards  our  young  friend?     She  was  made  willing  to  'forsake  all', 


520  LETTERS.  [1853. 

and  follow  Christ,  and  lie  has  not  only  spared  her  the  trials  which 
are  endured  by  many  of  His  servants,  but  guided  her  into  peaceful 
and  refreshing  paths.  Are  there  not  many  such  in  our  way  home, 
and  is  not  even  the  rugged  part  of  the  journey  made  pleasant  by  the 
companionship  of  our  blessed  Lord  and  His  disciples  ? 

"  You  will  not  think  me  inconsiderate,  because  I  wish  to  enlist 
your  prayers  and  counsels  in  the  service  of  another  friend  who  desires 
to  share  this  pilgrimage.  I  am  not  unmindful  that,  although  you 
greatly  prize  the  privilege  of  giving  individual  instruction,  much 
time  is  demanded  by  your  public  duties,  but  this  case  is  one  of  a 
peculiar  character ;  and  although  I  may  not  yet  state  all  its  circum- 
stances, I  am  permitted  to  inform  you  that  my  friend  wishes  to  visit 

■ when  she  shall  have  been  informed  of  your  return,  that  she 

may  receive  your  advice.  If  the  clearer  light  which  she  is  seeking 
shall  shine  upon  her  path,  she  will  present  herself  as  a  candidate  for 
your  approaching  Confirmation.  It  is  very  evident  to  me  that  the 
Holy  Spirit  is  now  convincing  her  of  sin,  and  it  is  my  hope  that  He 
is  also  revealing  in  some  degree  that  Jesus  is  just  such  a  Saviour  as 
she  needs ;  but  the  day  is  not  far  advanced.  I  am  very  sorry  and 
very  glad  to  present  this  new  claim  to  your  attention.     *     *     * 

"  How  very  interesting  and  affecting  your  recent  Confirmation 
must  have  been  !  May  our  Father  in  Heaven  preserve  unto  eternal 
life  all  who  then  dedicated  themselves  to  His  service  !  Your  dear 
boy  was  not  there  on  that  occasion  which  his  presence  would  have 
made  very  joyful,  and  I  should  not  wonder  if  a  father's  heart  had 
almost  prompted  the  desire  that  he  might  lay  his  hands  upon  the 
young  head  which  will  never  again  be  bowed  in  an  earthly  temple. 
It  would  have  been  very  sweet  to  have  thus  assumed  the  relations 
of  a  Bishop  and  a  Pastor  towards'a  darling  child;  still  you  arc  glad 
that  the  Good  Shepherd  removed  this  lamb  of  the  fold  from  your 
bosom  to  His  own,  and  you  look  up  with  tearful  eyes  but  a  rejoicing 
heart,  whilst  your  love  for  both  grows  stronger  and  stronger." 


To  Mhs  S. 

"  Gr.EEN'wooD,  June  15,  1853. 
"  This  is  a  most  appropriate  time  to  trace  with  my  pencil  the 
letter  of  congratulation  my  heart  has  so  long  prompted.  The  trees 
which  surround  my  room  are  so  numerous  and  so  shady  that  I  might 
almost  imagine  myself  in  the  woods.  The  air  is  very  pure,  and  I 
feel  that  it  is  a  great  blessing  to  belong  to  the  family  of  One  whose 


1853.]  LETTERS.  521 

'  tender  mercies  arc  over  all  Ilis  works.'  'All  Thy  works  shall  praise 
Thee,  O  Lord,  and  Thy  saints  shall  bless  Thee.' 

"  How  glad  I  am  that  you  have  been  enabled  to  return  thanks  for 
redeeming  mercy!  I  have  rejoiced  with  you.  If  you  would  be  a 
happy  and  devoted  Christian,  abound  in  praise,  dear  M.  Do  not 
permit  a  sense  of  unworthincss  to  deprive  you  of  this  privilege  —  to 
tempt  you  to  neglect  this  imperative  duty.  It  was  remarked  by  an 
eminent  servant  of  our  Heavenly  Father,  that  He  was  ashamed  to 
ask  for  more  mercies  until  he  had  returned  thanks  for  those  he  had 
already  received.  I  have  been  told,  also,  of  a  mother  who  requested 
her  little  daughter  to  count  her  blessings.  The  child  enumerated 
twenty.  But  we  can  number  many  more,  and  it  will  be  well  to  make 
most  rapid  progress  in  the  study  which  shall  occupy  eternity.  When 
Moses  besought  Jehovah  to  show  him  His  glory.  He  said,  '  I  will 
make  all  my  goodness  to  pass  before  thee.'  The  enraptured  prophet 
has  beheld  this  goodness  ever  since,  but  more  is  yet  to  be  revealed. 
Infinite  glory,  in  its  manifestations  of  Infinite  goodness,  passes  before 
a  vision  continually  enlarged  and  a  being  who  is  endued  with  an 
immortal  nature,  that  he  may  enjoy  it  forever.  'This  is  the  heri- 
tage of  the  servants  of  the  Lord,'  and  it  is  yours,  dear  M.  Perhaps 
you  will  say,  '  Such  knowledge  is  too  wonderful  for  me ;  it  is  high,  I 
cannot  attain  unto  it.' 

"  Winslow,  in  his  excellent  work  upon  the  glory  of  our  Redeemer, 
endeavors  to  impress  the  reflection  that  the  believer  should  make 
this  glory  the  constant,  the  concentrated  study  of  his  life.  He  tells 
us  we  should  search  the  Scriptures  for  this  object,  and  surely  this  is 
a  most  healthful  theology.  We  shall  not  have  time  to  be  despond- 
ing or  presumptuous,  if  our  attention  be  thus  withdrawn  from  our 
sinful,  ever-disappointing  selves. 

"Are  not  these  remarks  the  best  reply  I  can  make  to  the  ques- 
tion in  the  concluding  part  of  your  letter  ?  Can  it  ever  be  needful 
that  the  disciples  of  such  a  Saviour  should  experience  seasons  of 
darkness  and  wandering?  'The  path  of  the  just  is  as  the  shining 
light,  which  shineth  more  and  more  unto  the  perfect  day.'  It  is 
because  of  unbelief,  or  the  indulgence  of  some  other  sin,  that  spiri- 
tual darkness  so  often  obscures  the  heart  which  ought  to  be  so  full 
of  light  and  peace.  It  is  true  that  our  physical  condition  necessa- 
rily exerts  some  influence  upon  the  mind.  It  is  true,  most  sadly 
true,  that  the  believer  is  often  compelled  to  '  groan,  being  burdened' 
with  sorrow  and  with  sin.  But  it  is  equally  true  that  his  happiness 
should  not  be  dependent  unon  his  varying  frames  of  mind,  or  the 
'44* 


522  LETTERS.  [1853. 

circumstances  of  his  physical  condition.  'I  will  go  in  the  strength 
of  the  Lord  God,  making  mention  of  Thy  righteousness,  even  of 
Tliine  only,'  should  be  the  constant  song  of  the  Christian  pilgrim,  as 
he  presses  on  through  the  many  foes  that  surround  him  to  the  end 
of  his  earthly  pilgrimage ;  and  then,  as  he  passes  over  Jordan,  it  is 
his  privilege  to  sing,  as  has  been  beautifully  said,  '  the  death-song 
of  death.' 

"  I  am  so  sorry  that  my  sheet  is  almost  filled,  and  yet  you  have 
wiser  counsellors  to  enforce  the  thoughts  I  wish  to  urge.  I  trust, 
also,  that  the  Holy  Spirit  has  taught  you  the  indispensable  necessity 
of  diligent  attention  to  self-examination  and  private  prayer.  Do 
you  suppose  that  any  eminent  Christian  has  been  unmindful  of  these 
duties? 

"  IIow  important,  also,  the  unreserved  consecration  of  the  Sab- 
bath and  the  cultivation  of  tenderness  of  conscience !  We  should 
listen  to  the  whispers  of  the  Holy  Spirit  as  well  as  to  His  louder 
tones.  I  am  glad  you  have  *  living  epistles'  all  around  you,  and 
cordially  unite  in  the  wish  you  express  that  I  were  acquainted  with 
your  parents  and  sisters.  Give  a  message  of  affectionate  sympathy 
to  your  sick  sister.  It  is  not  so  very  sad  to  have  a  suffering  and 
exhausted  frame,  if  it  repose  in  the  green  pastures  of  salvation,  and 
eujoy  the  constant  attendance  of  a  Shepherd  who  is  the  Great  Phy- 
sician also. 

*'  Commending  myself  and  you,  dear  M.,  to  His  continual  protec- 
tion, I  repeat  the  assurances  I  have  already  given  you." 

To  Tier  Sister-in-Law. 

"July,  1853. 

*'  How  much  I  should  love  to  take  a  sheet  of  letter-paper  from  my 
portfolio,  and  fill  it  with  expressions  of  true  and  deep  aflFection  for 
my  sister  M.  It  is  a  great  comfort  to  me  to  love  you  so  much,  and 
I  pray  that  '  grace,  mercy  and  peace  may  be  multiplied  unto  you, 
through  the  knowledge  of  God,  and  of  Jesus  Christ  our  Lord.'  Are 
we  not  very  glad  that  Jesus  is  our  Lord,  our  King,  our  Priest,  our 
Bishop,  our  Shepherd,  our  R!<ihteousncss?  Oh,  that  we  may  thus 
appropriate  and  thus  enjoy  Him  at  all  times  I  Lot  us  study  His 
character,  and  let  our  experience  prove  that  He  is  that  which 
Leighton  asserts  Him  to  be,  '  The  principle  and  pattern  of  holiness 
to  the  believer.' 

"  Teach  dear  little  E.  much  of  His  love.  His  acts  of  mercy,  and 
I  Mo   not  doubt,  but  earnestly  believe'   that   the  Holy  Spirit  will 


1853.]  DR.  K alley's  visit.  523 

impress  your  instructions  upon  her  youthful  heart.  1  look  for  an 
early  blessing.  Why  should  we  not  expect  this?  Tell  her,  Aunt 
Sue  will  put  a  kiss  on  a  flower,  and  put  it  in  this  note  for  her  darling. 
Ask  her  if  she  does  not  wish  to  please  her  Heavenly  Father,  who 
makes  so  many  beautiful  things  for  her  to  enjoy.     *     *     * 

"  The  Bishop  made  me  a  refreshing  visit  on  the  morning  of  the 
4th  of  July,  and  I  enjoyed  the  presence  of  the  Great  Shepherd  and 
Bishop,  when  so  many  noises  were  made.  '  When  He  gives  quiet- 
ness, who  then  can  make  trouble  T  "     *     *     * 

To  Miss  A.  B. 

"  May,  1853. 

"  Your  letter  was  most  welcome,  dear  Miss  B.,  and  I  have  quite 
anticipated  the  pleasure  of  writing,  or  rather  dictating,  a  letter  to 
you,  both  because  my  feelings  towards  you  are  of  a  very  affectionate 
character,  and  I  would  like  to  interchange  sentiments  with  you  on 
many  interesting  subjects.  This  pleasure  I  have  until  now  been 
compelled  to  postpone,  but  you  must  not  punish  me  for  having  been 
more  sick  than  usual  by  refusing  a  prompt  reply  to  my  epistle. 

"  I  shall  not  have  time  for  my  own  thoughts  this  evening,  as  I 
wish  to  tell  you  of  a  delightful  visit  I  received  this  afternoon  from 
Dr.  Kalley,  the  physician,  who  was  so  wonderfully  instrumental  in 
the  conversion  of  many  of  the  inhabitants  of  Madeira.  I  hope  you 
have  read  Mr.  Hewitson's  Life,  that  you  may  sympathize  with  me  in 
the  pleasure  I  derived  from  this  visit.  If  you  have  read  this  book, 
you  will  recollect  Mr.  Sylva,  a  native  of  the  island  and  a  man  of 
some  distinction,  who  suffered  much  for  'the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus,' 
and  is  now  the  minister  of  the  exiled  Portuguese  in  their  western 
home.  While  he  was  yet  in  the  darkness  of  Romanism,  he  called  to 
consult  Dr.  Kalley  in  reference  to  the  sickness  of  his  daughter,  a 
girl  about  fifteen  years  of  age.  Dr.  Kalley  did  not  neglect  to  recom- 
mend the  Great  Physician,  and  after  he  had  received  several  visits 
of  application  to  his  medical  skill,  he  was  informed  one  day  by  Mr. 
Sylva  that  he  wished  to  speak  with  him  alone.  The  anxious  father 
realized  that  he  too  was  sick,  and  inquired  with  great  solicitude 
what  must  be  done  by  a  person  who  had  become  sensible  that  he 
had  transgressed  the  law  of  God,  and  was  justly  exposed  to  condem- 
nation, to  escape  the  consequences  of  this  disobedience?  He 
remarked,  'I  learn  that  Baptism  cleanses  from  original  sin  ;'  and  was 
about  to  state  the  benefits  which  he  supposed  would  ensue  from 
penance,  etc.,  when  Dr.  Kalley  interrupti.d   him  with  the  reply,  */ 


524  THE    MADEIRA    CONVERTS.  [1853. 

learn  that  the  blood  of  Jesus  Christ  cleanses  from  all  sin.'  '  What 
is  that?'  rejoined  the  astonished  inquirer;  and  when  Dr.  Kalley  pro- 
ceeded to  unfold  the  plan  of  salvation,  he  eagerly  exclaimed,  'Tell 
ine  that  again  !'  '  No,'  said  Dr.  Kalley,  '  I  will  show  it  to  you  in 
God's  own  Word.'  He  then  read  to  him  several  passages  of  Scrip- 
ture which  refer  to  the  finished  work  of  our  Redeemer,  and  he  who 
had  asked  the  question,  '  What  must  I  do  to  be  saved  ?'  received  the 
blessed  and  simple  answer  with  many  tears  and  much  joy.  He  then 
forsook  all  and  followed  Jesus.  Dr.  Kalley  says  he  does  not  think 
he  met  with  more  than  two  of  the  Portuguese  (the  Priests  excepted,) 
who  knew  of  the  existence  of  the  Bible  when  he  first  went  among 
them.  He  has  been  in  Palestine  for  some  time,  and  expects  to-mor- 
row to  commence  a  journey  to  Illinois,  with  the  design  of  visiting 
the  Portuguese  who  are  there.  If  he  shall  find  them  in  a  spiritually 
prosperous  condition,  he  intends  to  call  upon  American  Christians  to 
assist  in  removing  the  one  hundred  and  sixteen  who  are  now  in  Tri- 
nidad to  their  companionship. 

"  Dr.  K.  told  me  that  after  the  persecution  in  Madeira  had  com- 
menced, one  of  the  converts  remarked  to  him  that  he  had  read  in 
Scripture  the  assurance,  —  'All  who  live  godly  in  Christ  Jesus 
shall  sufier  persecution,'  but  he  had  also  read,  'When  they  persecute 
you  in  one  city,  flee  ye  to  another.'  He  did  not  know  how  he  could 
do  this,  as  there  was  but  one  city  on  the  island.  Dr.  K.  reminded 
him  that  when  the  Lord  undertook  the  deliverance  of  His  people 
from  Egyptian  bondage,  He  opened  a  way  through  the  sea;  that  Ho 
loved  them  as  well  as  the  Israelites,  and  if  it  were  His  pleasure.  He 
could  make  the  sea  also  a  way  for  them  to  pass  over.  Just  at  the 
time  of  crisis,  a  vessel  was  sent  to  their  shores  for  the  purpose  of 
allowing  them  to  emigrate,  but  without  any  knowledge  of  their  pecu- 
liar situation.  They  sailed,  and  their  persecutors  were  left  behind. 
How  cordially  could  they  unite  with  God's  people  of  old  in  the 
acknowledgment  —  'Thou,  in  Thy  mercy,  hast  led  forth  Thy  people 
which  Thou  hast  redeemed.' 

"Are  not  these  anecdotes  more  interesting  than  any  of  my  own 
thoughts  ?  I  must  not  forget  to  tell  you  of  Dr.  Kalley's  observation, 
that  there  is  probably  the  same  law  of  connection  between  prayer 
and  the  outpouring  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  that  there  is  between  hearing 
the  Word  and  the  reception  of  the  Gospel.  When  I  asked  him  what 
he  thought  the  best  means  of  growing  in  grace,  he  replied  :  '  To  feed 
on  Christ.  If  one  would  be  strong,  he  must  take  his  food  well.' 
He  gave  me  the  text,  'Accepted  in  the  Dclovcd.'     This  is  a  beauti- 


1853.]  LETTERS.  525 

ful  text,  is  it  not,  dear  Miss  B.  ?  I  do  desire  to  appreciate  the  great 
love  which  oives  to  me,  so  great  a  sinner,  this  well-oTounded  hope. 
'This  is  the  name  whereby  He  shall  be  called  —  the  Lord  our 
Righteousness.'  "     *     *     * 

To  the  same. 

"July,  1853. 

''You  are  a  dear,  kind  Miss  B.,  to  remember  the  requests  of  your 
friends  so  well.  I  surveyed  the  dimensions  of  your  letter  with  great 
satisfaction  before  I  read  a  single  line,  nor  was  the  complacency 
diminished  by  its  perusal.  I  should  like  to  have  one  every  week, 
with  the  arrangement  that  my  payments  should  be  made  in  irregular 
instalments.  As  a  matter  of  necessity,  and  in  reference  to  epistolary 
debts  alone,  would  I  propose  such  terms  as  these,  for  I  cordially 
respond  to  the  opinion  expressed  in  Hewitson's  Life,  that  commer- 
cial integrity  must  ever  be  the  accompaniment  of  spirituality.  How 
full  of  meaning  is  David's  earnest  declaration  !  'I  esteem  all  Thy 
precepts  concerning  all  things  to  be  right,  and  I  hate  every  false 
way.'  How  delightful  it  is  to  reflect  upon  the  rectitude  of  our 
Father  in  Heaven,  to  know  that  in  all  His  dealings  with  the  per- 
verse and  rebellious  sons  of  men,  He  has"  never  deviated  in  one 
instance  from  the  most  unbending  integrity !  Oh  !  when  shall  we 
fully  appreciate  His  character  ?  When  shall  we  become  '  partakers 
of  His  holiness'  ?  Let  us  pray  that  we  may  more  earnestly  '  hunger 
and  thirst  after  righteousness,'  for,  as  Dr.  Bedell  once  observed,  the 
promise  is  not  that  we  are  filled,  but  that  we  shall  be.  What  can 
we  ask  more  than  to  be  filled  with  righteousness  ?  Plow  vain  are 
the  hopes  of  those  who  expect  that  this  blessing  will  be  imparted, 
before  it  shall  have  been  imputed !  Is  there  any  text  of  Scripture 
that  you  love  much  better  than,  'Mercy and  truth  are  met  together; 
righteousness  and  peace  have  kissed  each  other'  ?  It  is  therefore 
that  *  truth  shall  spring  out  of  the  earth.' 

"  Will  you  not  pray,  my  dear  friend,  that  I  may  love  with  more 
intense  affection  the  glorious  Redeemer  who  has  thus  'magnified  the 
law  and  made  it  honorable'?  I  do  see  much  'beauty  that  I  should 
desire  Him,'  and  I  have  known  Him  these  many  years  as  '  the  Lord 
my  Righteousness.'  I  do  not  expect  to  be  fully  'satisfied'  until  I 
'  awake  in  His  likeness ;'  but  whilst  my  enfeebled  frame  slowly 
approaches  the  grave,  I  would  that  my  soul  may  hasten  more 
ardently  towards  the  fulfilment  of  its  hopes.  'To  depart  and  to  be 
with  Christ  is  far  better,'  but  He  is  willing  to  unfold  much  of  His 


626  LETTERS.  [1853. 

glory  ero  this  consummation,  and  to  reflect  upon  our  lives  His  holy 
radiance.  He  is  willing  to  be  wiih  us  now,  and  soon  we  shall  be 
with  Him.     May  '■  the  whole  earth  be  filled  with  his  glory' !  "    *    * 

To  Rev.  Mr.  D. 

"July  13,  1853. 

"What  melodious  strains  must  have  proceeded  from  David's  harp 
when  our  Saviour  'entered  into  His  glory;'  and  Abraham,  who  'saw 
his  day  and  was  glad/  when  as  yet  it  was  afar  ofl',  was  surely  among 
the  most  joyous  of  the  enraptured  throng  of  glorified  spirits  who 
welcomed  their  ascended  Lord.  These  thoughts  have  just  been 
awakened  by  the  description  of  our  Redeemer's  ascension,  which 
St.  Luke  has  recorded.  Is  it  not  full  of  touching  interest?  'And 
He  led  them  out  as  far  as  to  Bethany,  and  He  lifted  up  His  hands 
and  blessed  them.  And  it  came  to  pass,  while  He  blessed  them,  He 
was  parted  from  them  and  carried  up  into  Heaven.'  I  do  not 
wonder  at  the  lingering  gaze  which  was  interrupted  by  the  angels' 
voices.  Surely  we  ought  to  trust  and  love  a  Saviour  who  came  into 
our  world  with  such  purposes  of  mercy,  and  left  it  with  hands  lifted 
up  to  bless  His  disciples.  I  am  thankful  that  He  has  given  us  the 
record  of  all  this  mercy,  and  sent  the  Holy  Ghost,  the  Comforter,  to 
prepare  us  for  His  return,  and  to  cheer  us  whilst  we  await  His 
coming.  Oh  !  will  it  not  be  an  unspeakable  blessing  to  be  with 
Jesus  forever?  To  love  Him  as  we  ought,  to  understand  Him  fully, 
to  hdieve  all  His  love,  and  to  receive  its  manifestations  throughout 
eternity  !  Pray  for  me,  my  valued  friend,  that  I  may  '  behold  the 
glory'  which  the  Father  has  given  Him,  not  only  when  I  shall  be 
where  He  is,  but  now,  as  I  slowly  but  surely  approach  the  termina- 
tion of  my  earthly  pilgrimage.  I  ^ish  I  knew  more  of  the  intense 
longing  after  this  only  true  good,  which  was  expressed  by  my  now 
satisfied  friend,  dear  L.,  but  a  little  while  after  she  had  begun  t.o 
study  our  Redeemer's  character :  '  Nothing  but  Jesus,  as  fully  owned 
and  enjoyed  as  He  can  be  on  earth,  can  satisfy  my  soul.' 

"Jid^  15th.  —  My  friend,  Mr.  B.,  has  kindly  recorded  the  few 
thoughts  I  expressed  with  my  pencil ;  and  since  a  clerical  visit  pre- 
vented us  from  completing  the  letter,  I  will  tell  you  this  afternoon, 
dear  Mr.  D.,  how  appropriate  is  your  remark:  'With  us,  in  its 
better  sense,  there  is  no  such  thing  as  disappointment  in  these  frus- 
trations of  earthly  plans."  I  have  had  to  remind  myself  of  this 
truth,  again  and  again,  in  its  application  to  the  great  enjoyment  I 
had  anticipated  from  intercourse  with  you  and  my  precious  Mrs.  D., 


1853.]  LETTERS.  527 

this  summer.  [  was  quite  unwilling  to  believe  that  your  purpose 
had  been  actually  relinquished;  since  I  had  hoped  you  would  have 
talked  to  me  of  our  best  and  dearest  Friend,  and  knelt  in  my  room 
to  implore  His  blessing  for  me.  How  thankful  I  feel  for  the  many 
prayers  you  have  already  offered !  Surely,  you  have  thus  performed 
the  best  office  of  Christian  friendship,  and  I  am  greatly  ashamed 
that  it  has  not  been  more  faithfully  reciprocated.  *  With  supplica- 
tions will  I  lead  them,'  is  a  beautiful  promise,  whether  its  fulfilment 
elicit  from  our  hearts  earnest  breathings  for  ourselves  or  others. 
How  much  we  ought  to  pray  for  a  spirit  of  prayer  !  Will  you  not 
ask  that  I  may  derive  much  vigor  from  the  True  Vine,  in  my  inter- 
course with  the  young  people  of  the  village  ?  I  expected  that  you 
would  have  shared  with  me  the  opportunity  of  snaking  effort  for  their 
highest  welfare.  I  feel  great  interest  in  the  plans  you  have  formed, 
and  will  pray  that  showers  of  blessings  may  water  and  the  Sun  of 
Righteousness  perfect  them.  I  am  sure  your  heart  would  be  cheered 
if  I  could  tell  you  all  the  interesting  circumstances  which  have  been 
connected  with  the  conversion  of  two  of  my  friends."     *     *     * 

To  Miss  S.  E.  L. 

"Geeenwood,  August  3,  1853. 

"  '■  Grant  to  us,  Lord,  we  beseech  Thee,  the  spirit  to  think  and  do 
always  such  things  as  are  right ;  that  we,  who  cannot  do  any  thing 
that  is  good  without  Thee,  may  by  Thee  be  enabled  to  live  accord- 
ing to  Thy  will,  through  Jesus  Christ  our  Lord.     Amen.' 

"When  Mr.  B.  comes  to  write  my  letters,  he  always  asks  our 
Heavenly  Father's  blessing  in  the  language  of  some  of  the  Collects, 
and  one  of  those  he  used  this  evening  is  so  beautiful,  that  I  have 
made  it  the  first  sentence  of  the  missive  of  affection  I  wish  to  send 
to  my  beloved  S. 

"  It  is  thus  only  that  I  can  visit  this  oft-remembered  friend.  If 
my  personal  presence  could  be  as  easily  conveyed  to  her,  I  should 
anticipate  some  pleasant  interviews  and  a  very  cordial  welcome. 
I  was  thinking,  this  morning,  of  the  great  beauty  of  the  pas- 
sage, 'Blessed  be  the  Lord  God  of  Israel",  for  He  hath  visited 
and  redeemed  His  people.'  Much  of  the  pleasure  of  life  is  derived 
from  the  society  of  valued  friends,  and  much  we  prize  their  offices 
of  love.  How,  then,  can  we  appreciate  the  condescension  of  the 
High  and  Holy  One  who  has  wisiVefZ  us  with  such  purposes  of  mercy? 
Are  we  not  thankful  that  He  has  come  into  our  hearts  ?    Let  us  seek 


528  LETTEKS.  [1853. 

more  intimate  communion  with  Him, — let  us  pray  that  He  may  so 
dwell  with  us,  that  our  hearts  may  be  quite  filled  with  His  presence, 
and  we  shall  then  be  always  able  to  say, 

'  If  Thou,  my  God, 
"Wilt  with  me  take  up  Thine  abode, 
1  And  grant  me  fellowship  with  Thee, 

■  Nor  sad,  nor  lonely,  shall  I  be.' 

"In  enjoying  and  in  seeking  more  and  more  of  this  holy  fellow- 
ship, I  feel  assured,  dear  S.,  that  thee  is  consoled,  in  the  absence  of 
thy  watchful  mother  and  beloved  spiritual  friend.  Is  He  not  a  won- 
derful Being,  who  comforts  as  a  mother,  and  surpasses  the  fidelity 
and  tenderness  of  the  most  faithful  earthly  Shepherd  ?  It  was  well, 
indeed,  for  L.  to  say,  '  All  is  laid  up  for  me  in  Jesus.'  0  how  happy 
she  became  when  she  was  enabled  to  lift  the  eye  of  faith  above  the 
depressing  picture  of  her  own  sinfulness,  to  the  all-sufficiency  of  Him 
whom  she  was  enabled  to  appropriate  as  her  Righteousness  and  Sancti- 
fication.  Keep  thine  eye  fixed  on  Him,  dear  S.,  and  thine  will  be  a 
progress  which  will  make  glad  the  hearts  of  those  who  love  thee.  It 
is  upon  our  Redeemer,  and  not  upon  our  frames  of  mind  nor  upon 
our  attainments,  that  om-  safety  and  our  peace  depend.  If  we  gaze 
steadily  upon  Him,  we  shall  so  reflect  His  image,  that  our  lives  will 
become  luore  holy  and  our  hearts  more  full  of  peace,  than  if  it  were 
our  endeavor  to  give  ourselves  these  qualifications  for  His  favor.  Ah  ! 
•i'we  have  to  come  always,  as  we  came  at  first,  as  poor  helpless  sinners; 
but  still  in  coming,  again  and  again,  we  learn  more  of  the  precious- 
ness  of  our  blessed  Saviour,  and  are  enabled  to  rely  upon  Him  with 
more  confiding  faith. 

''And  then,  how  pleasant  it  is  to-bring  our  sin-sick  friends  to  Him 
who  has  '  healed  our  infirmities,  and  saved  our  lives  from  destruc- 
tion !'  There  are  peculiar  sorrows,  as  well  as  peculiar  joys,  connected 
with  the  Christian  life,  and  one  of  the  greatest  of  these  is  solicitude 
for  our  friends  who  have  never  '  tasted  that  the  Lord  is  gracious,' 
and  who  may  be  at  any  moment  summoned  to  the  presence  of  that 
Maker  whom  they  have  never  obeyed  nor  loved.  But  our  Redeemer 
sympathizes  with  this  sorrow  and  would  have  us  bring  it  to  Him. 
It  is  said,  in  reference  to  the  friends  of  one  '  sick  of  the  palsy,'  that 
'  Jesus  seeing  ilim-  faith,'  eflfected  his  cure.  This  surely  should  be 
an  encouragement  to  us,  when  we  pray  for  those  who  are  not  yet 
saved.     '  Be  not  afraid,  only  believe.'  " 


1853.]  LETTERS.  529 


"August  24,  1853. 

"I  think,  dear  E.,  the  letter  of  this  eveuing  shall  be  addressed  to 
thee.  Mr.  B.  quite  heartily  responds  to  this  suggestion,  and  I  am 
glad  to  express  some  of  the  many  aflectionate  thoughts  and  earnest 
desires  for  thy  best  welfare  which  are  in  my  heart.  Our  intercourse 
has  always  been  aflfectionate,  but  recently  it  has  received  much  more 
of  our  Heavenly  Father's  blessing.  And  if,  in  a  few  days,  it  be  re- 
newed, I  trust  we  shall  seek,  with  increased  confidence,  the  influences 
of  the  Holy  Spirit.  We  always  acknowledge  our  dependence  upon 
His  aid ;  but  I  wish  our  realization  of  this  truth  were  more  deep  and 
constant.  "  I  will  put  my  Spirit  within  you,  and  cause  you  to  keep 
my  statutes,  and  ye  shall  do  them,'  is  a  promise  which  has  often 
given  me  consolation.  We  should  never  expect  to  make  ourselves 
better,  nor  feel  discouraged  because  we  cannot  do  this.  Jesus  is  '  the 
Author  and  Finisher  of  our  faith.'  We  must,  therefore,  go  to  Him 
for  its  increase,  as  well  as  for  the  repentance  and  pardon  we  require. 
That  thee  has  become  a  pupil  of  this  blessed  Teacher,  dear  E.,  is  to 
me  a  source  of  gratitude  and  delight,  and  I  do  not  fear  to  commend 
thee  to  His  guidance,  even  though  thee  may  feel  that  thy  steps  are 
faltering  and  thy  heart  sometimes  faint.  <  He  giveth  power  to  the 
faint,  and  to  them  that  have  no  might  he  increaseth  strength.  Even 
the  youths  shall  faint  and  be  weary,  and  the  young  men  shall  utterly 
fall :  but  they  that  wait  upon  the  Lord  shall  renew  their  strength ; 
they  shall  mount  up  with  wings,  as  eagles ;  they  shall  run,  and  not 
be  weary ;  they  shall  walk,  and  not  faint.'  What  can  we  ask  more 
than  this  gracious  assurance  of  Him  who  cannot  disappoint  ?  Let  us 
trust  and  not  be  afraid.  Let  us  expect  much  from  Him  who  has 
promised  all.  The  righteousness  of  our  Redeemer  is  the  charter  of 
our  hopes.  It  is  the  beginning  and  end  of  our  salvation.  It  depends 
not  upon  our  varying  frames  and  feelings.  We  must,  therefore,  seek 
an  appropriating  faith,  and  if  we  be  thus  constantly  enabled  to  live 
upon  this  fulness  of  our  Redeemer,  we  shall  be  among  the  happy 
company  of  heavenward  pilgrims  of  whom  it  is  said,  ^Blessed  is  the 
people  that  know  the  joyful  sound;  they  shall  walk,  0  Lord,  in  the 
light  of  Thy  countenance.  In  Thy  name  shall  they  rejoice  all  the 
day  long,  and  in  Thy  righteousness  shall  they  be  exalted.' 

"Tell  thy  dear  sister  M.  that  I  wish  she  were  included  in  this 
number,  and  ask  her  if  she  will  not  begin  to  learn  the  song  of  redeem- 
ing love.  I  am  sure  she  cannot  bear  the  thought  of  eternal  absence 
from  that  holy  choir  whose  unceasing  song  will  be,  '  Worthy  is  the 
Lamb  that  was  slain.' 

2i  45 


530  LETTERS.  [1853. 

"  Give  my  love  to  her  affectionately.  Is  not  Christian  friendship 
a  source  of  great  enjoyment,  and  should  it  not  be  carefully  and 
prayerfully  cultivated  ?  That  we  may  enjoy  the  communion  of 
saints  in  this  world,  and  throughout  eternity,  with  the  unclouded 
vision  of  our  blessed  Saviour,  is,  dear  E.,  the  fervent  hope  and  ear- 
nest prayer  of  thy  affectionate  friend." 


To   W.  A.  K 

"Sept.  9,  1853. 
"  Does  thee  suppose,  dearest,  that  among  the  inventions  of  modern 
science  will  be  a  medium  of  intercourse  with  distant  friends  less  me- 
chanical than  letter-writing  ?    However  ingenious  the  contrivance,  it 
could  not  convey  to  thee  the  stores  of  love  which  have  been  thy  con- 
tinually accumulating  possession  since  the  days  of  earliest  infancy.  I 
am  thankful  that  such  affection  as  mine,  intense  and  true  as  it  is,  is  not 
thy  richest  heritage.     The  Holy  Spirit  can  teach  thee  the  Father's 
love,  and  enable  thee  to  exclaim,  '  How  precious  are  thy  thoughts 
unto  me,  0  Grod  !  how  great  is  the  sum  of  them  !'    And  yet  it  is  not 
now  that  this  chord  of  filial  sympathy  and  delight  will  sound  its  first 
vibrations.     The  Heavenly  Musician  touched  i\\j  youthful  heart,  my 
precious  one,  and  elicited  'a  nobler,  sweeter  song'  than  has  ever 
resounded  from  the  halls  of  thoughtless  mirth,  or  from  any  other 
source  of  uninspired  pleasure.     Ask  Him  to  tune  this  instrument  to 
deeper  melody.     Ask  that  there  may  be  no  discordant  tones ;  but 
that  every  energy  of  affection  and  of  intclle-ct  may  be  expanded  and 
expended  in  the  glorious  harmony  which  begins  in  Heaven,  and  re- 
ceives the  accession  of  the  Christian  pilgrim's  song.     Oh,  W.,  it  is 
a  cheering  thought  that  all  this  heavenward  company  will  form,  at 
last,  a  joyful  choir  around  Him  who  taught  them  the  first  notes  of 
redeeming  love.     'Ear  hath  not  heard'  the  full  chorus  of  glorified 
spirits.      The  heathen  must  yet  be  taught  the  song.     Other  little 
children  must  be  brought  to  Jesus,  that  He  may  take  them  in  His 
arms  and  bless  them.     Many  a  wanderer  must  be  reclaimed.    Many 
who  are  weary  must  hear  '  a  word  in  season.'    Until  this  consumma- 
tion shall  be  given,  every  man  should  '  say  to  his  neighbor,  and 
every  man  to  his  brother,  Know  ye  the  Lord  V     Shall  not  I,  who 
'covet  earnestly  the  best  gifts'  for  my  treasured  one,  pray  fervently 
that  his  heart  may  be  warm  and  his  voice  eloquent  in  successful 
endeavor  to  attune  other  harps  than  his  own  to  the  chorus,   '  Glory 
to  God  in  the  highest;  on  earth,  peace  —  good-will  towards  men'  !" 


1853.]  LETTERS.  5^1 


To  a  Relative. 

"Saturday  afternoon,  Sept.  11,  1853. 
''  L.,  dear,  what  would  I  not  give  to  have  you  with  me  to-day  ? 
We  all  love  you  so  dearly,  and  you  would  be  so  welcome  an  addition 
to  our  little  circle  this  evening.     We  shall  be  near  each  other,  how- 
evei*,  if  we  draw  near  our  beloved  Saviour. 

'  Prayer  shall  a  vast  triangle  form, 

On  whose  wide  base  we  still  shall  meet, 
And  whose  high  top  surmounts  each  storm, 
And  joins  us  at  our  Saviour's  feet.' 

"  Christian  fellowship  is  very  refreshing,  but  it  is  an  unspeakable 
privilege  also  to  be  quite  alone  with  our  Father  in  Heaven ;  and  I 
am  glad  you  thus  enjoyed  the  Saturday  evening  to  which  you  refer. 
Continue,  ray  precious  L.,  to  'wait  upon  the  Lord,'  and  you  will 
experience  all  that  is  promised  in  the  concluding  verses  of  that  ex- 
quisite chapter,  Isaiah,  40. 

''Tuesday  evening.  —  I  begin  to  fear  that  the  letters  to  you  and 
A.  which  are  in  my  heart,  will  not  have  received  a  pencilled  impres- 
sion ere  an  opportunity  of  having  them  copied  shall  offer.  We 
asked  blessings  for  you  both  on  Saturday  evening,  and  for  the  dear 
brother,  for  whom  you  desire  them  so  much.  You  need  not  apologize 
for  your  loving  allusions  to  your  own  family.  Social  sympathies  are 
among  the  best  endowments  of  our  nature  ]  and  when  the  heart,  so 
prone  to  make  unhallowed  use  of  these  affinities,  has  been  renewed 
by  the  Holy  Spirit,  and  attracted  towards  the  true  centre  of  light 
and  love,  it  may  bear  with  it,  on  its  way  thither,  the  domestic  and 
social  affections,  as  blessings  for  which  it  should  be  thankful  and 
must  give  account.  Oh  !  that  '  holiness  unto  the  Lord'  may  be  writ- 
ten upon  all  your  attachments,  all  your  intercourse  with  society,  all 
that  you  are  and  have.  Then  my  warm-hearted  young  friend  will 
never  be  disappointed;  but  whilst  she  gazes  with  tearful  sympathy 
upon  many  a  sad  spectacle  of  blighted  affections  and  wasted  energies, 
her  own  heart  will  be  'strong  in  the  Lord,  and  in  the  power  of  His 
might.' 

"And  your  influence,  dear  L.,  what  will  it  be,  thus  applied  to  holy 
purposes  and  endued  with  the  continual  benediction  of  Him  who 
loves  to  receive  the  spring-time  offerings  of  the  heart  ?  I  think  I 
hear  you  say,  'Alas,  I  have  not  given  these  to  God.     My  early  child- 


532  LETTERS.  [1853. 

hood  was  engrossed  too  much  by  present  things,  and  even  since  the 
vows  of  God  have  been  assumed  in  the  Sanctuary,  I  have  not  fully 
realized  their  solemn  import.  It  is  my  sincere  desire  to  ''follow  the 
Lord  fully,"  but  temptation  is  within  and  around  me.  Pray  for  me, 
that  I  may  be  "  faithful  unto  death,  and  receive  the  crown  of 
life.'  " 

"  My  dear  friend,  it  is  well  to  '  search  and  try  our  ways.'  It  is 
well  to  study  prayerfully  that  Word  by  which  we  shall  be  tried  at 
the  last  day,  and  compare  our  past  and  present  lives  with  its  unbend- 
ing requirements  :  it  is  well  to  pray  for  a  contrite  spirit :  it  is  well 
to  relinquish  every  pursuit,  every  opinion,  which  endures  not  the 
test  of  God's  Word  and  our  baptismal  vows.  If  we  would  thus 
steadfastly  contend  against  our  spiritual  enemies,  we  must  not  forget 
for  one  moment  that  Jesus  is  the  'Author  and  Finisher  of  our  faith,' 
the  '  Captain  of  our  salvation,'  the  '  Vine,'  to  whom  we  must  be 
united  if  we  would  bear  good  fruit,  '  the  propitiation  for  our  sins,' 
'the  Lord  our  llighteousness.'  Be  not  discouraged,  but  draw  very 
closely  to  this  blessed  Saviour,  and  as  you  receive  wisdom  and 
strength,  employ  them  for  the  promotion  of  His  glory,  and  the 
highest  interests  of  your  fellow-pilgrims."     *     *     * 

To  a  Young  Lady. 

"Sept.  21,  1853. 

"It  is  not  always,  dear  A.,  that  I  can  combine  opportunity  and 
physical  ability  in  the  comparatively  trifling  effort  of  tracing  ray 
thoughts  upon  a  slate ;  and  day  after  day  have  I  vainly  sought  this 
concurrence,  that  I  might  reply  to  your  welcome  and  affectionate 
letter. 

"  May  I  not  hope  that  you  will  often  write  to  me  ?  I  should 
greatly  enjoy  the  unreserved  expression  of  your  sentiments,  for  I 
remember  well  the  aspirations  of  my  own  youthful  days,  and  am  able 
to  sympathize  with  the  untold  yet  ardent  longings  of  the  heart  and 
mind,  for  more  to  love  and  more  to  learn.  In  future  years,  if, 
indeed,  they  be  your  portion,  you  will  feel  disposed  to  take  many 
retrospective  views  of  life  :  and  I  think  it  probable  that  there  will 
be  times  when  the  playful  scenes  of  childhood,  and  the  more  prac- 
tical pursuits  of  maturer  life,  will  receive  a  more  transient  survey 
than  the  present  period  of  your  existence.  You  feel  it  now  to  be 
full  of  interest;  you  will  find  it  then  to  have  been  replete  with  feel- 
ings and  events,  which  will  have  shaped  your  character  and  influ- 
enced your  destiny.     Oh,  then,  my  truly  beloved  young  friend,  be 


1853.]  LETTERS.  533 

reflective,  be  prayerful.  Let  your  affections,  in  their  upward  flight, 
leave  far  behind  the  visions  of  a  youthful  fancy,  and  permit  them 
not  to  hover,  even  for  a  moment,  over  the  fairy  groves  of  earthly 
pleasure  j  but  as  you  draw  near  and  still  nearer  to  the  object  of 
your  love  and  hopes,  let  your  song  be  louder  and  clearer,  until 
with  thrilling  ecstasy  you  sound  the  seraphic  note.  As  for  me,  I 
behold  thy  face  in  righteousness.  I  am  satisfied,  for  I  have  awaked 
in  Thy  likeness.  May  the  Holy  Spirit  be  your  constant  and  che- 
rished guide  in  all  the  means  which  will  be  conducive  to  this  great 
end.  May  He  so  enlighten  your  understanding,  direct  your  judg- 
ment, purify  your  afiections,  and  elevate  your  pursuits  that  you  shall 
be  an  incorporated  Christianity,  '  a  living  epistle,  known  and  read 
of  all  men.' 

"  When  the  astronomer  takes  his  telescope  in  his  hand,  that  he 
may  acquaint  himself  with  the  wonders  of  the  planetary  system,  he 
is  quite  satisfied  to  disengage  his  attention,  for  a  season  at  least,  from 
the  beautiful  flowers  which  spring  up  around  him  ;  and  if  he  would  be 
a  proficient  in  the  science  he  has  chosen,  he  devbtes  himself  to  its  pur- 
suit with  an  intensity  which  surprises  one  who  cannot  appreciate  his 
object.  *  God,  who  commanded  the  light  to  shine  out  of  darkness, 
hath  shined  in  our  hearts,  to  give  us  the  light  of  the  knowledge  of 
the  glory  of  God  in  the  face  of  Jesus  Christ.'  This  is  our  Astro- 
nomy, dear  A.,  and  Jesus  is  our  Sun.  Our  planetary  system  shall 
not  pass  a^Dciy.  Let  us  seek  to  understand  the  revolutions  of  each 
heavenly  body,  and  let  us  never  mistake  a  lesser  luminary  for  that 
from  which  all  light  and  heat  is  derived.  If  every  member  of  our 
beloved  Church  had  been  preserved  from  this  sad  error,  her  holy 
privileges  would  not  have  received  undue  exaltation.  It  would  have 
been  remembered  by  all,  as  it  still  is  by  so  many,  that  the  true 
Church  of  Christ  is  His  mystical  body,  that  the  soul  must  be  united 
to  Him  by  faith  jf  it  would  grow  in  His  house  and  flourish  in  His- 
courts.  Having  this  root,  even  the  '  Root  of  David,'  it  will  im- 
bibe, with  its  head  bowed  down,  the  droppings  of  the  sanctuary,  and 
raise  it  again  to  scatter  the  blessings  it  has  received. 

"Oh!  A.,  I  have  cheerfully  relinquished  the  earthly  temple  at 
the  bidding  of  my  Lord ;  but  my  heart  has  truly  said,  '  I  have  loved 
the  habitation  of  Thine  house,  and  the  place  where  Thine  honor 
dwelleth.'  Now,  in  a  more  retired  school,  I  receive  the  ministrations 
of  the  Shepherd  and  Bishop  of  my  soul,  whilst  I  eagerly  anticipate 
the  hour  when,  in  the  upper  sanctuary,  I  shall  '  behold  the  beauty 
of  the  Lord.' "     *     *     * 

45* 


534  LETTERS.  [1853. 

To  a  Youth. 

"Nov.  4,  1853. 

"A  long,  long  time  has  passed  since  you  have  received  a  sinjj;le 
line  from  me;  but  you  are  still  remembered  in  my  daily  petitions, 
and  in  thoughts  of  sympathy.  You  are  so  well  acquainted  with  my 
physical  incapacity  to  gratify  the  promptings  of  my  heart,  that  I 
trust  you  have  not  ascribed  my  silence  to  any  other  cause. 

<'  I  am  so  very  sorry  that  I  did  not  see  you  when  you  passed  a 
few  hours  at  Greenwood.  *  *  *  j  ^\^  not  imagine  that  you 
would  stay  so  short  a  time  with  so  many  friends ;  but  now  that  you 
are  so  far  away  you  must  write  to  me  often,  and  allow  your  letters 
to  be  unreserved  expressions  of  your  thoughts.  If  I  could  only  feel 
sure  that  you  were  united  to  the  true  and  living  Vine,  how  very 
happy  I  should  be !  but  until  this  union  be  effected,  I  cannot  hope 
that  the  beautiful  fruits  of  the  Spirit  will  live  and  grow  in  your  heart 
and  life.  Will  you  not  read  the  15th  chapter  of  St.  John,  with 
earnest  prayer  that  you  may  be  thus  allied  to  Jesus  ?  Will  you  not 
study  the  character  and  offices  of  our  blessed  Saviour,  with  reference 
to  your  own  necessities,  and  His  power  to  supply  them  ?  Be  ear- 
nest, dear ,  in  this  pursuit.     Your  soul  is  precious,  and  can  be 

only  safe  and  happy  in  the  keeping  of  your  Redeemer.  Resolutions, 
intentions,  serious  impressions,  cannot  be  substitutes  for  true  conver- 
sion. I  should  like  you  to  read  '  Wilberforce's  Practical  View  of 
Christianity;'  but,  most  of  all,  I  would  have  you  search  the  mine  of 
Scripture  for  the  imperishable  treasure,  which  is  always  discovered 
and  appropriated  by  him  who  seeks  it  earnestly,  constantly,  and  in 
the  name  of  Jesus.  I  am  aware  that  many  interesting  and  important 
studies  occupy  your  attention,  and  would  have  you,  in  these  also,  be 
assiduous  and  successful ;  but  remember,  that  it  is  <  life  eternal  to 
know  the  true  God  and  Him  whom  He  hath  sent.'  Consider  the 
import  of  the  passage  which  commences,  'The  love  of  Christ  con- 
straineth  us.' 

"I  should  like  to  know  all  about  your  life  at ;  if  you  have 

profitable  Sunday  influences,  and  have  a  judicious  Christian  friend, 
whose  counsel  and  sympathy  you  prize.  If  you  cannot  give  an 
affirmative  answer  to  this  question,  applied  as  it  is  to  earthly  associa- 
tion, turn  to  the  two  last  verses  of  the  4th  chapter  of  Hebrews,  and 
you  will  find  comfort  there. 

"  I  was  very  glad  to  see  dear  E.  even  for  a  little  while.  I  hope 
you  will  be  a  great  comfort  to  her,  and  by  precept  and  example  do 
much  for  the  younger  children  of  your  bereaved  family."     *     *     * 


1853.]  LETTERS.  535 


To  a  R.  B. 

"Nov.  10,  1853. 

"  In  writing  Nov.  10th  upon  my  slate,  I  am  reminded  that  this 
day,  or  to-morrow,  will  have  completed  the  fourteenth  year  of  my 
inability  to  walk  down  stairs.  As  I  cannot  remember  if  the  former 
or  the  latter  be  the  anniversary  of  this  merciful  dispensation,  I  think 
it  well  to  commemorate  both, —  one  as  a  day  of  humiliation,  the 
other  of  thanksgiving.  Would  it  not  be  better  to  give  precedence 
to  the  spiritual  employment  last  mentioned  ?  I  am  sure  you  would 
tell  me,  Yes,  for  'the  goodness  of  God  leadeth  to  repentance,' 
and  true  contrition  will  be  poured  into  the  heart  which  is  deeply 
exercised  in  its  contemplation.  An  unceasing  and  abiding  realiza- 
tion of  this  attribute  of  the  Divine  character  is  the  great  necessity 
of  my  soul. 

"  I  therefore  earnestly  request  that  you  will  ask  our  Father  to 
make  all  His  goodness  to  jmss  before  me.  I  am  glad  with  you,  in 
the  anticipation  of  the  'perfect  day,'  when  the  Sun  of  Righteous- 
ness will  shine  upon  us  with  unclouded  splendor.  '  In  Thy  light 
shall  we  see  light/  oh  blessed  Saviour !  Thou  wilt  recall  to  us  the 
love  of  the  Father,  and  we  shall  not  be  ignorant  or  forgetful  any 
more  at  all. 

'  For  this  our  longing  souls  aspire, 
With  ardent  hope  and  strong  desire.' 

"  While  thus  we  wait  this  consummation,  my  truly  valued  fellow- 
pilgrim,  let  us  dwell,  for  a  moment,  on  the  passing  incidents  of  our 
journey, 

"I  hope  many  missives  will  welcome  your  arrival  at  New  Orleans, 
since  I  am  well  assured  that  the  recorded  thoughts  of  distant  friends 
will  be  of  greater  value  than  the  salutations  of  many  strangers. 
How  will  it  be,  if  many  of  these  remembrances  be  expressed  in  fer- 
vent, believing  prayer  for  your  highest  weal  ?  This  record  will  be 
then  more  legible,  more  enduring,  than  the  pen  of  friendship  can 
make  it. 

"  Surely  our  best  friends  are  those  who  give  us  this  proof  of  their 
affection,  and  whilst,  in  making  this  remark,  I  pass  sentence  of  defi 
ciency  upon  myself,  my  confession  may  induce  you  to  pray  that  I 
may  be  enabled  to  sympathize  more  fully  with  the  spiritual  necessi- 
ties of  each  member  of  the  body,  of  which  our  glorious  Redeemer  is 
the  Head. 


536  LETTERS.  [1853. 

"I  owe  to  many  of  tlicse  a  large  debt  of  gratitude  for  the  peti- 
tions they  have  offered,  that  I  might  be  instructed  and  consoled,  and 
for  the  attraction  of  their  greater  earnestness.  Kindly  offices  have 
also  been  lavishly  bestowed,  and  for  your  participation  in  all  these, 
accept,  dear  C,  my  grateful  and  affectionate  thanks.  We  have  often 
waited  upon  the  Lord  together,  and 

'  We  will  praise  Him  again, 
When  we  pass  over  Jordan.' 

*  *  *  "  It  is  needful  to  give  you  an  abrupt  assurance  of  the 
ever  afifectionate  remembrance  of  your  friend." 


To  Rev.  J.  B.  Foides. 

"Nov.  23,  1853. 

"  How  very  many  times,  dear  Mr.  Fowles,  has  my  heart  prompted 
an  expression  of  sympathy  and  Christian  regard !  I  resisted  this 
impulse  when  you  were  very  ill,  because  I  was  unwilling  to  subject 
you  to  the  fatigue  of  reading  even  a  pencilled  note,  but  intended  it 
should  have  been  indulged  before  your  departure  from  the  city. 
Now,  my  missive  must  be  sent  to  a  greater  distance,  and  shall  con- 
vey the  assurance  that,  in  the  quiet  chamber  of  the  invalid  of 
Greenwood  cottage,  you  are  remembered  with  an  intensity  of  interest 
Avhich  is  expressed  in  many  petitions,  that  He,  who  '  knoweth  our 
frame  and  remembereth  that  we  are  dust,'  will  grant  you,  in  this 
season  of  peculiar  necessity,  the  most  precious  and  sustaining  conso- 
lations of  the  Holy  Spirit.  Oh  that  you  may  be  indeed  'strengthened 
with  all  might,  according  to  His  glorious  power,  unto  all  patience 
and  long-suffering,  with  joyfulness.^ 

"  Did  not  St.  Paul  ask  very  much  when  he  offered  this  petition  ? 
The  Christian  who  accepts  the  afflictive  dispensations  of  Providence 
■with  a  submissive  spirit,  is  supposed  to  have  received  a  rich  gift  of 
grace ;  but  the  Apostle  had  gazed  so  long  and  so  steadily  upon  the 
countenance  of  his  reconciled  Father,  and  had  seen  the  command  to 
suffer  given  with  so  many  smiles  of  love,  that  He  was  emboldened  to 
pray  that  it  might  be  obeyed  with  a  gladsome  spirit;  that  the  chil- 
dren of  such  a  Father  might  rejoice  in  the  pressure  of  His  hand, 
even  if  it  did  lead  away  from  many  pleasant  things  along  the  path 
of  suffering.  Does  not  the  word  philosophy  fall  coldly  upon  the 
Christian's  ear,  when  it  is  applied  to  the  endurance  of  trial  ?     His 


1853.]  LETTERS.  537 

is  a  brighter,  a  nobler  hope,  a  principle  of  undying  power.  '  My 
heart  and  my  flesh  faileth ;  but  God  is  the  strength  of  my  heart, 
and  my  portion  forever.' 

"  It  is  because  you  are  thus  sustained,  dear  Mr.  Fowles,  that  I 
am  not  surprised  to  learn  that  you  are  very  happy  in  a  situation  in 
which  you  would  otherwise  be  oppressed  by  solicitude  about  your 
parish,  your  family  and  your  physical  condition.  '  The  Lord  is 
your  Shepherd,'  and  therefore  you  do  '  not  want.'  '  He  maketh 
you  to  lie  down  in  green  pastures,  and  leadeth  you  beside  the  still 
waters.'  Surely  these  are  the  only  '  still  waters'  beside  which  an 
exhausted  invalid  cd7i  lie  down.  What  though  his  nervous  system 
be  unstrung,  and  his  mind  incapable  of  the  energetic  action  of  former 
years.  He  feels  that  beneath  the  tide  of  suffering  flows  a  current  of 
deep  peace,  and  a  spring  of  spiritual  elasticity  is  of  greater  value 
than  the  buoyancy  of  health.  He  does  not  fear  that  increased 
necessity  will  draw  too  largely  upon  his  resources,  since  he  traces 
them  back  to  the  unfathomable  sea  of  everlasting  love.  If  this  be  a 
contracted  theology,  we  cannot  see  the  lines  which  bound  it.  If 
these  be  '  peculiar  views,'  we  will  receive  their  consolation,  and  pa- 
tiently endure  the  odium  they  bring. 

"  How  very  precious  to  me,  my  truly  valued  friend,  is  the  recol- 
lectioa  of  the  refreshing  and  affectionate  interviews  with  which  you 
have  favored  me.  'Ointment  and  perfume  rejoice  the  heart;  so 
doth  the  sweetness  of  a  man's  friend  by  hearty  counsel.'  There 
was,  perhaps,  more  of  their  fragrance  in  your  last  visit,  than  in  any 
of  those  previously  received. 

"  Oh,  that  the  name  of  our  dearest  Friend  may  be  unto  us  as 
'ointment  poured  forth.' "     *     *     * 


To  her  Niece. 

"  Dec.  25,  1853. 
"My  own  dear  little  E. : — I  often  wish  to  write  you  a  note  or 
letter,  because  I  love  you  so  much,  and  would  like  to  tell  you  how 
much  our  blessed  Saviour  loves  little  children.  He  looks  upon  you 
so  tenderly,  and  is  willing  to  wash  away  all  your  sins  in  His  pre- 
cious blood,  and  to  give  you  a  new  heart.  Do  you  know  what  it  means 
to  have  a  new  heart  ?  Ma  will  tell  you  all  about  it,  and  I  hope 
that  you  will  pray  that  your  Father  in  Heaven  will  give  you  His 
Holy  Spirit      There  is  a  beautiful  promise  that  God  will  give  His 


538  LETTERS.  •  [1853. 

Holy  Spirit  to  them  that  ask  Him,  in  the  eleventh   chapter  of  St. 
Luke. 

"  Ask  your  dear  mother  to  read  it  to  you  from  the  New  Testa- 
ment I  send  with  this  note.  I  thought  you  would  like  to  have  it. 
The  print  is  large,  and  it  will  be  delightful  for  you  to  learn  to  read 
all  about  our  Saviour's  kindness  when  he  was  upon  the  earth.  He 
is  just  the  same  Saviour,  now  that  He  has  gone  back  to  Heaven. 
The  Bible  says  He  is  '  altogether  lovely.'  Will  not  my  precious 
E.  be  a  little  lamb  of  this  Good  Shepherd  ?     You  must  pray  for 

"  Aunt  Sue." 


CHAPTER  XXV. 

1854. 

Waiting  for  God's  Salvation — Cheerfulness  of  her  Apartment — Letters 
to  the  Younji; — Morell's  Philosophy  of  Religion — Mr.  Fowle's  Illness 
— To  J.  II.  S. —  Simplicity  of  the  Gospel  —  Preference  of  Love  and 
Faith  to  Knowledge  —  Romaine —  To  a  young  Person  on  Insincerity 
—  Desires  to  fathom  certain  Passages  of  Scripture  —  Removal  of 
Friends — Visit  from  a  Converted  Ojibwa — Letter  to  R.  S.  —  The 
Highest  Study  —  Pineville — To  Mrs.  Kalley  —  Apprehended  loss  of 
sight:  Acquiescence  —  Letters  of  Sympathy — Vision  of  a  believer  — 
Concluding  Letters. 

A  DECLINE  of  strength,  exceedingly  gradual,  indeed,  but 
steady  and  sure,  now  impressed  upon  Miss  Allibone's  friends 
the  conviction  that  she  could  not  be  much  longer  spared  to 
edify  and  bless  them.  And  the  apprehension  invested  their 
enjoyment  of  her  society  with  a  chastened  tenderness  and 
deeper  solemnity.  Her  visitors  counted  each  interview  a 
privilege  the  more  precious  because  so  soon  to  be  withdrawn, 
and  left  her  apartment  with  the  feeling  that  its  inmate  was 
not  far  from  her  heavenly  home.  Yet,  reduced  as  she  was 
by  debility,  and  never  unconscious  of  pain,  she  was  extremely 
reluctant  to  decline  the  visits  of  those  who  sought  her  con- 
versation. Her  own  convenience  and  comfort  were  of  no 
account  with  her,  if  she  might  but  be  permitted  to  bear  testi- 
mony to  the  loving-kindness  of  her  Almighty  Friend,  and 
recommend  her  Saviour  to  the  acceptance  and  confidence  of 
all  to  whom  she  was  an  object  of  interest.  Exceedingly 
attractive  was  the  quiet  room  in  which  she  patiently  Avaited 
for  the  coming  of  the  Lord,  and  none  could  enter  it  without 
being  impressed  with  its  peculiar  charm.  All  its  arrange- 
ments breathed  the  simple  grace  of  true   refinement,   and 

(539) 


540  THE    WAITING     BELIEVER.  [1854. 

flowers  added  their  fragrance  and  beauty.  A  bright  beaming 
smile  and  an  affectionate  greeting  welcomed  her  guests,  and 
made  them  feel  that  their  presence,  instead  of  being  a  tax 
and  burden  to  the  invalid,  was  a  pleasure  and  gratification. 
A  calm  joy  irradiated  her  features,  and  the  tranquillity  that 
abode  in  her  soul  was  plainly  written  on  her  countenance. 
The  artist  could  have  desired  no  better  study  for  the  repre- 
sentation, on  canvass  or  in  marble,  of  peace,  purity  and  love. 
The  sceptic  could  nowhere  have  met  with  more  irresistible 
confutation  of  his  cavils  and  scoffs  against  the  religion  of 
Jesus.  The  care-worn,  anxious  worldling,  could  not  gainsay 
the  excellence  of  the  good  part  she  had  chosen.  The  un- 
quiet, doubting  legalist  must  have  felt  the  superiority  of 
those  views  of  gospel  truth,  to  which  she  constantly  ascribed 
the  unclouded  brightness  and  assurance  of  her  hope.  In  her 
the  young  saw  religion  invested  with  inexpressible  beauty, 
and  were  attracted  by  its  magnetic  influence.  Ministers  of 
Christ  felt  their  hearts  warmed,  their  faith  strengthened,  and 
their  appreciation  of  the  riches  of  divine  grace  heightened 
and  enlarged.  They  learned  new  lessons  of  the  love  of  Christ, 
and  of  the  large  capacities  of  that  religion  of  which  they  were 
the  teachers.  Texts  of  Scripture  and  doctrines  of  the  faith 
came  from  her  lips  replete  with  fresh,  living  energy,  and  sweet 
realization.  Truth  was  wholly  divested  of  cold  abstracted- 
ness. Christian  doctrine  was  nt)t  a  thing  for  mere  discussion 
or  speculation.  But  all  was  clothed  with  reality,  exerting 
its  heaven-derived,  soul-sustaining  power.  Even  the  soldier, 
fresh  from  the  red  battle-fields  of  Mexico,  confessed  the  sacred 
melting  power  of  the  scene,  and  wept,  as  the  gentle  being  be- 
fore him  spake  to  him  of  the  soul's  wants  and  the  Saviour's 
love.  Her  chamber  of  sickness,  so  oft  vocal  with  the  utter- 
ance of  fervent  prayer  and  glowing  praise,  seemed  as  a  little 
sanctuai-y,  none  other  than  the  house  of  God  and  the  gate 
of  Heaven. 

The  impression  that  the  hour  of  her  dismissal  could  not 


1854.]  LETTERS.  541 

much  longer  be  delayed,  was,  to  the  sufferer  herself,  full  of 
sweet  refreshment.  Without  restlessness  or  impatience,  she 
was  yet  looking  forward  to  her  absence  from  the  body  and 
presence  with  the  Lord,  "as  a  servant  earnestly  desireth  the 
shadow."  "  My  physical  ailments  are  increasing,"  she  wrote 
in  July,  1854,  "  and  with  them  the  joyful  hope  that  I  shall 
soon  experience  the  fulfilment  of  the  promise,  '  Thine  eyes 
shall  see  the  King  in  His  beauty.'  " 

To  Miss  S. 

"  Jan.  10,  1854. 

''  I  am  always  glad  to  receive  the  outpouring  of  your  young  and 
affectionate  heart,  dear  M.,  and  delight  to  bid  you  God  speed  in  the 
narrow,  but  pleasant  path,  into  which  your  steps  have  been  guided 
by  Him  who  has  loved  you  with  an  everlasting  love,  and,  therefore, 
with  loving-kindness  has  drawn  you. 

" '  Hold  Thou  me  up,  and  I  shall  be  safe,  and  I  will  have  respect 
unto  thy  statutes  continually,'  is  a  most  appropriate  petition  for  one 
who  realizes,  as  you  do,  the  importance  of  bringing  religion  into  every 
thing;  of  *  doing  all  things  to  the  glory  of  God.'  It  is  true  that,  in 
making  this  attempt,  we  resist  the  current  which  once  rapidly  bore 
us  towards  an  unprepared  eternity,  and  we  thus  learn  how  strong  it 
is.  But  it  has  been  stemmed  by  many  a  mariner  whose  feeble  bark 
has  now  attained  the  haven  of  rest;  it  is  still  stemmed  by  many 
who  are  so  thankful  to  have  escaped  the  shipwreck  of  the  soul,  and 
so  refreshed  by  the  delicious  gales  which  are  wafted  from  the  country 
they  seek,  that  they  cheerfully  encounter  the  hardships  of  the  voyage. 

"  When  you  remember  that  Jesus  is  both  your  Polar  Star  and 
the  Captain  of  your  salvation,  need  the  fragility  of  your  bark,  or  the 
roaring  of  the  waves,  alarm  you  ?  Look  upward,  hasten  onward,  and 
all  will  be  well. 

"In  one  of  your  letters,  dear  M.,  you  remarked  that  you  could  not 
expect  that  your  family  circle  would  be  long  exempt  from  bereave- 
ment. In  another,  you  informed  me  that  the  angel  of  death  had, 
indeed,  visited  your  dwelling.  Surely  your  little  treasure  was  not 
too  lovely  for  her  Saviour's  arms. 

"  I  know,  well,  to  sympathize  with  the  sorrow  you  have  felt,  and 
trust  this  painful  lesson  will  be  one  of  lasting  benefit.  I  think  we 
ought  to  pray  for  submission  to  our  Father's  will,  even  though  He 
were  to  remove  every  earthly  blessing.     How  much  I  could  tell  you 

46 


542  LETTERS.  [1854. 

of  '  Ilis  gracious  and  ready  help'  in  the  hour  of  bereavement !  And 
then,  too,  dear  M.,  you  are  placed  in  a  situation  which  requires  a 
double  portion  of  grace.  Your  temperament  is  so  ardent,  that  you 
should  ever  gladly  avail  yourself  of  the  privilege  of  asking  your  best 
Friend  to  hallow  your  love  for  all  who  are  dear  to  you."     *     *     * 


To  a  Young  Relative. 

"  January  11th,  1854. 

"  I  gladly  avail  myself,  dear  "W.,  of  the  first  opportunity  of  using 
the  pen  of  our  kind  friend,  in  reply  to  the  letter  which  I  received 
durins;  his  absence.  You  will  readily  believe  that  it  was  read  with 
deep  interest,  and  that  my  desires  are  very  earnest  that  my  young 
friend  should  witness  a  good  confession,  even  unto  the  end.  I  am 
glad  that  you  have  so  faithful  a  spiritual  adviser,  and  hope  that  you 
will  often  seek  his  counsels ;  for  it  is  not  at  the  commencement  of  a 
religious  course  alone  that  we  are  benefited  by  the  aid  of  more  expe- 
rienced Christians ;  but  it  will  be  our  privilege,  as  we  journey  on  in 
the  narrow  way,  to  experience  more  fully  the  assurance,  'as  iron 
sharpeneth  iron,  so  a  man  sharpeneth  the  countenance  of  his  friend.' 
How  earnestly  we  should  pray  that  the  name  of  Jesus  should  be  'as 
ointment  poured  forth'  on  all  our  friendships  —  all  our  intercourse 
with  society.  If  this  prayer  be  answered,  we  shall  have  something 
to  give  all  our  friends,  something  to  gain  from  those  who  have  been 
taught  heavenly  wisdom.  Oh  !  that  you  may  thus  pass  through  your 
college  life,  dear  W.,  protected  from  every  unholy  influence,  and  dis- 
pensing blessings  to  those  around  you  ! 

"  I  have  often  thought  that,  in  addition  to  the  necessity  for  dis- 
charging the  duties  of  Christian -fidelity  towards  our  unconverted 
friends,  we  derive  personal  benefit  from  these  eff"orts.  Ofi'ensive  as 
well  as  defensive  war  must  be  waged  by  the  disciple  of  our  Re- 
deemer. We  shall  be  thus  best  protected  from  the  encroachments 
of  the  enemy.  Now  that  you  are  numbered  among  the  soldiers  of 
the  cross,  your  conduct  and  spirit  will  be  narrowly  inspected ;  but 
youthful  and  inexperienced  as  you  are,  I  shall  have  no  fears  for  you, 
if  you  listen  to  the  voice  and  gaze  upon  the  countenance  of  the  great 
Captain  of  your  salvation.  Study  constantly  the  character  of  your 
Redeemer  in  its  adaptation  to  your  personal  necessities,  with  fervent, 
persevering  prayer,  and  you  will  certainly  become  an  eminent  Chris- 
tian. Are  you  willing  to  be  any  thing  less  "than  this,  dear  W.  ? 
Read  the  third  chapter  of  Philippians,  and  pray  over  it  until  the 


1854.]  LETTERS.  543 

spirit  of  the  Apostle  be  thoroughly  infused  into  your  own  bosom. 
This  is  indeed  high  ambition,  and  better  than  the  '  pride  of 
kings.'  "     *     *  ^* 

To  the  Autlior. 

"Jan.  18,  1854. 

"  The  Postman  is  particularly  welcome  when  he  brings  me  a  letter 
from  you,  my  dear  friend,  and  I  am  so  fully  assured  of  your  kindly 
remembrance,  and  so  well  aware  that  I  am  one  of  many  claimants 
upon  your  time,  that  I  am  only  disposed  to  appreciate  the  generosity 
of  the  portion  you  give  me.  I  am  always  glad  to  receive  the  promise 
of  a  visit,  and  to  place  its  fulfilment  among  my  pleasant  recollections. 
Oh,  that  you  would  often  ask  the  Great  Shepherd  and  Bishop  of 
souls  to  refresh  and  instruct  my  spirit  with  larger  communications 
of  His  presence  !  I  shall  be  then  better  prepared  for  society  and  for 
solitude.  How  dependent  are  we  upon  Him  for  ability  to  improve 
every  privilege,  and  how  wise  is  the  economy  which  entrusts  us  not 
with  an  accumulated  store  of  grace,  but  makes  our  spiritual  existence 
one  of  continual  inspiration  and  exhalation  ! 

"  It  is  delightful  to  go  to  such  a  Father  as  ours  for  every  thing 
we  need,  but  how  much  richer  His  revenue  of  glory,  if  our  trust 
were  more  implicit  and  our  demands  more  proportionate  to  His  will- 
ingness to  give.  Perhaps  I  err  in  this  remark,  since  the  goodness 
of  God  shines  so  brightly  in  contrast  with  the  ignoble  character  of 
its  recipients.  Ability  to  fully  appreciate  so  glorious  a  Being,  is  my 
highest  expectation  of  heavenly  happiness,  but  I  love  the  sentiment: 

'  Children  of  grace  have  found 
Glory  begun  below ; 
Celestial  fruit  on  earthly  ground 
From  faith  and  hope  may  grow.* 

"You  remark  that  '  it  is  a  comfort  to  the  people  of  God  to  believe 
that  they  are  just  where  He  would  have  them,  and  in  the  circum- 
stances that  will  best  enable  them  to  glorify  Him,  and  bless  their 
fellow-creatures.'  I  cannot  imagine  that  real  unhappiness  can  exist 
in  the  spirit  of  him  who  realizes  this  blessed  truth.  It  is  only  the 
disciple  of  Jesus  who  can  echo  His  own  words  — '  Even  so.  Father, 
for  so  it  seemeth  good  in  Thy  sight ;'  and  in  doing  this  he  feels  he 
has  received  the  legacy  — '  Peace  I  leave  with  you,  my  peace  I  give 
unto  you.' 

*  You  tell  me  that  I  *  can  often  speak  a  word  in  season  to  cheer 


544  LETTERS.  [1854. 

the  lieart  of  a  Christian  friend,  or  remind  the  youthful  that  ''one 
thing  is  needful."'  I  know  that  God  'giveth  power  to  the  faint, 
and  to  them  that  have  no  might  He  iocreaseth  strength,'  and  would 
gladly  avail  myself  of  this  promised  aid  in  all  my  intercourse  with 
my  fellow-beings. 

"  I  do  earnestly  desire  to  hf)ld  fast  to  the  integrity  of  Bible  truth, 
and  to  firmly  and  meekly  maintain  it  in  opposition  to  the  diluted 
and  erroneous  theology  by  which  I  am  sometimes  pained.  Have  you 
read  or  heard  of  Morell's  Philosophy  of  Religion  ?  I  think  it  must* 
be  a  very  dangerous  book.  I  heard  a  young  lady  speak  of  it  admi- 
ringly a  week  or  two  since,  and  state  as  one  of  the  opinions  of  its 
author,  that  the  evangelists  had  enjoyed  the  society  of  their  Redeemer 
so  long,  and  had  so  imbibed  His  teachings,  that  they  infused  His 
spirit  into  their  writings,  and  this  I  suppose  to  be  Morell's  chief  idea 
of  the  inspiration  of  the  words  they  wrote.  I  of  course  reminded 
my  young  friend  of  the  singular  dulness  and  unbelief  which  were 
manifested  by  the  Apostles,  notwithstanding  all  the  holy  fellowship 
with  which  they  were  favored,  until  they  received  the  Holy  Ghost. 
How  glad  I  should  be  if  you  would  allude  to  this  subject  in  your 
next  letter.  I  should  like  to  give  your  opinion  to  one  or  two  of  my 
young  friends.     *     *     * 

"Will  it  not  be  delightful  to  unite  with  all  our  Christian  friends 
in  the  adorations  of  the  upper  sanctuary  1  This  is  the  earnest  hope 
of  your  very  sincere  friend." 


To  the  Rev.  Dr.  Stevens. 

{In  answer  to  a  request  to  sekci  for  him  some  texts  for  semwns.) 

♦'  Greenwood,  Dec.  22d,  1852. 

"  You  send  me  into  the  garden  of  Scripture,  my  dear  Pastor,  to 
collect  for  you  a  bouquet.  I  find  there  the  flowers  of  all  ages,  all 
seasons  and  all  climes  —  the  Rose  of  Sharon,  the  Lily  of  the  Valley, 
the  Plant  of  Renown  ! 

"  Many  of  these  plants  I  gathered  long  since,  and  placed  them  in 
my  bosom.  Oh,  no  !  1  did  not  place  them  there.  My  Heavenly 
Physician  made  them  mine,  that  I  might  test  their  medicinal  proper- 
ties and  enjoy  their  fragrance,  while  He  efi"ects  my  cure. 

"Do  not  forget  to  pray  for  me,  one  of  the  sheep  of  your  charge, 
wisely,  kindly  and  happily  penned  in  a  corner  of  the  fold. 

"Affectionately,  S.  A." 


1854.]  LETTERS.  545 


To  the  same. 

"  Greenwood,  May  10th,  1854. 

"  I  am  sure  you  will  receive  our  valued  friend,  '  Romaine/  with  a 
smile  of  recognition,  my  dear  Pastor,  and  although  I  regret  that  the 
paper  upon  which  his  thoughts  have  been  impressed  indicates  so 
plainly  that  his  is  not  a  modern  work,  I  am  thankful,  very  thankful, 
that  these  thoughts  are  more  Scriptural,  more  consoling  than  those 
conveyed  by  so  many  gilded  books  of  a  more  modern  theology. 

"  I  trust  the  Holy  Spirit  has  vouchsafed  me  an  increased  reliance 
upon  the  'sure  mercies  of  David.'  Oh,  how  very  dependent  on 
them  am  I  now  that  a  spinal  affection,  in  all  the  reality,  all  the 
intensity  of  victorious  progress,  is  increasing  the  physical  sensibili- 
ties which  will  probably  be  very  soon  subdued  beneath  its  power ! 

"  In  the  strength  of  the  Redeemer  who  endured  the  penalty  of 
my  transgressions,  and  by  His  obedience  to  every  demand  of  a  holy 
Law  purchased  for  me  a  perfect  righteousness,  which  His  loving- 
kindness  has  enabled  me  joyfully  to  receive,  I  calmly  await  my  Father's 
will.  I  cannot  be  placed  in  any  situation  in  which  He  will  not  be 
able  to  sustain  me. 

"  There  is  very  much  dross  to  be  consumed,  and  it  is  a  flame  of 
love  which  has  kindled  the  furnace  in  which  it  is  to  be  purged  away. 
I  have  no  expectation  from  the  natural  effect  of  suffering,  but  I  do 
most  rejoicingly  believe  that  my  Father  in  Heaven  will  enable  me  to 
understand  the  lessons  of  discipline  He  has  so  kindly  given,  and 
although  I  have  learned  so  very  slowly,  I  shall  at  last  be  taught  all 
He  would  have  me  to  know.  Pray  that  it  may  be  my  only  desire 
that  He  shall  be  glorified  —  then  I  know  all  shall  be  well. 

"  Believe  me,  '  in  the  confidence  of  a  certain  faith,'  very  warmly 
your  friend,  S.  A." 

To  a  Friend. 

"Jan.  31st,  1854. 

"  Beloved,  how  spontaneously  comes  this  appellation  !  If  I  were 
icell,  I  would  like  to  put  on  my  bonnet  (if  I  had  one,)  and  throw  my 
arms  around  thee  in  thy  own  domicil.  I  am  obliged  to  make  fre- 
quent use  of  the  subjunctive  mood  in  this  little  effervescence  of  affec- 
tion ;  but  this  form  of  speech  shall  not  enter  the  better  land,  and  we 
expect  to  be  together  there." 


2k 


'r 


546  LETTERS.  [1854. 

I'd  a  Niece,  absent  on  a  visit  to  the  SoiitJi. 

"Feb.  7tli,  1854. 
'•'  Some  words  of  love  must  proceed  from  Aunty  Sue's  pencil ;  that 
Aunty  Sue,  wbose  quiet  chamber  is  sometimes  mentally  visited  by 
her  darling  niece.  Is  it  not  so  ?  Does  not  Saturday  evening  bring 
vpith  it  some  thoughts  of  affection  and  some  thoughts  of  prayer? 
Very  sure  I  am  that  it  is  not  only  then  that  earthly  friends  and 
heavenly  blessings  are  desired.  Fervent  is  my  trust  that  the  young 
disciple  of  Jesus,  now  for  the  first  time  far  away  from  the  retired 
scenes  of  domestic  life,  refreshes  her  spirit  with  copious  streams  of 
living  waters,  drawing  them  from  Jesus,  the  Friend  of  her  soul, 
through  the  medium  of  regular  seasons  of  communion  with  Him,  the 
daily  diligent  study  of  His  holy  Word,  the  prayerful  use  of  every 
means  of  grace  which  shall  be  presented,  the  careful  unwavering 
consecration  of  the  holy  day,  and  frequent  petitions  for  His  guidance, 
even  when  social  scenes  are  most  attractive.  If  all  this  be  so,  my 
darling,  all  will  be  well,  and  ever-pleasant  the  recollection  of  a  visit 
which  has  gathered  around  it  the  fascinatious  of  refined  society,  the 
endearments  of  warm  and  loving  hearts.  My  love  can  enter  this 
delightful  circle,  though  my  presence  cannot,  and  there  it  is  in 
bountiful  supply.  Say  this  to  all.  And  now,  my  precious  one,  I 
ought  to  say  farewell.  Among  the  many  welcomes  which  will  be 
the  portion  of  our  wanderer,  I  doubt  if  any  will  be  more  sincere  and 
more  earnest  than  that  which  will  swell  up  from  the  heart  of  her 
own  Aunt  Sue." 

To  an  Intimate  Friend. 

"Ash  AVednesday,  1854. 

"I  have  been  wishing  for  a  very  long  time,  dear  Miss  E.,  to 
express  some  of  my  many  thoughts  of  aflfectionate  sympathy,  and  to 
tell  you  how  earnest  is  my  desire,  that  abundant  consolation  shall  bo 
your  portion  in  the  season  of  trial  through  which  you  are  passing. 
You  have,  however,  anticipated  this  design,  and  I  thank  you  very 
much  for  having  sent  me  a  volume  which  so  beautifully  teaches 
truths,  which  I  trust  the  Holy  Spirit  is  writing  more  and  more  legibly 
upon  your  heart. 

"  How  much  you  need  their  impress,  now  that  you  are  awaiting 
the  tidings  of  your  beloved  Pastor's  departure  to  that  better  world, 
for  which  he  seems  to  me  to  have  received  a  more  peculiar  prepara- 
tion than  almost  any  other  friend  I  have  ! 

"  ^ly  heart  aches  for  you,  my  dear  friend,  for  I  know  that  his 


1854.]  LETTERS.  547 

society  and  sympathy  have  been  among  your  richest  earthly  trea- 
sures. Your  teacher  will  not  be  '  removed  into  a  corner/  but  to  the 
full  fruition  of  every  hope ;  and  you  will  pass  on,  in  your  journey 
homeward,  with  the  bright  incentive  of  his  holy  example  and  the 
ever-consoling  memory  of  his  faithful  friendship.  Oh  !  is  it  not  a 
comfort  that  our  great  High  Priest  'ever  liveth' ?  —  that  we  may 
bestow  our  love  upon  one  Friend  who  is  in  all  things  unchangeable  ? 
He  is  your  Saviour,  dear  Miss  E.,  and  gently  will  He  comfort  you 
when  the  hour  of  bereavement  shall  come.  I  have  felt  very  much 
the  spirit  of  prayer  for  our  beloved  friend  during  his  illness,  and 
have  believed  that  the  God  whose  he  is,  and  whom  he  has  so  long 
served,  will  enable  him  to  glorify  Him  even  unto  the  end.  Neither 
have  I  forgotten  his  poor  wife  and  children ;  but  He  who  was  my 
widowed  mother's  God,  and  who  so  kindly  watched  over  her  father- 
less children,  will  extend  to  them  His  accustomed  mercy  I  hope 
you  will  be  enabled  to  glorify  Him  by  a  cheerful  submission  to  His 
will  in  this  great,  great  trial ;  and  ere  long,  you  know,  all  tears  will 
be  forever  wiped  away. 

"  I  feel  that  my  dear  sister's  children  will  have  sustained  a  deep 
affliction  in  the  deprivation  of  their  Pastor.  I  hope  you  will  pray 
for  them  and  love  them  as  you  have  done,  for  their  mother's  sake. 
Will  she  not  give  dear  Mr.  Fowles  a  joyful  greeting?  I  can  ima- 
gine her  glowing  spirit  pressing  to  the  utmost  limits  of  seraphic 
boundaries  to  welcome  each  glorified  friend  that  enters  in.  Will  sho 
not  be  glad  to  see  us,  dear  Miss  E.  ?  Let.  us  lift  up  our  heads,  for 
our  'redemption  draweth  nigh.'  'Jesus  having  loved  his  own, 
loved  them  unto  the  end.' 

"  Believe  me,  ever  faithfully  and  aflPectionately,  your  friend." 

To  the  Rev.  J.  H.  S. 

"March  8,  1854. 
"I  have  never  felt  willing  to  relinquish  all  epistolary  intercourse 
with  my  very  dear  cousin ;  but  not  until  this  evening  have  I  found 
a  suitable  opportunity  for  drawing  your  effusion  from  my  list  of 
unanswered  letters,  with  the  intention  of  removing  it  to  another 
department  of  my  portfolio.  I  am  indebted  to  our  friend  Mr.  B. 
for  ability  to  gratify  this  desire.  Am  T  not  very  dependent  upon 
the  kindly  offices  of  those  who  surround  me  ?  In  this  way,  at  least, 
I  am  sure  I  am  a  blessing  to  my  friends,  and  perhaps  I  could  scarcely 
have  been  placed  in  any  other  situation  in  which'  I  could  have 
received  so  many  manifestations  of  disinterestedness  and  affection. 


548  LETTERS.  [1854. 

So  you  see,  dear  Howard,  that  some  peculiar  benefits,  as  well  as 
peculiar  trials,  are  the  portion  of  an  invalid.  I  have  often  thought, 
too,  that  the  retirement  and  necessities  of  a  sick-room  elicit  a  more 
unreserved  expression  of  religious  sympathy  than  is  generally  given 
in  the  more  busy  circles  of  society.  I  remember  some  illustrations 
of  this  truth  with  especial  interest.  Among  them  are  the  hallowed 
memories  of  communion  with  many  loved  ones,  who  now  express 
their  adoration  in  the  immediate  presence  of  its  Holy  and  Blessed 
Object.  Neither  do  I  forget  the  companionship  of  my  fellow  pil- 
grims, and  you,  dear  H.,  are  among  my  valued  Christian  friends.  I 
am  very  glad  you  pray  for  me  every  day :  you  could  not  bestow  a 
greater  kindness.  Oh,  that  our  Father  in  Heaven  may  give  you  the 
spirit  of  prayer,  when  you  ask  blessings  for  your  very  needy  cousin  ! 

"  Is  not  appropriation  the  great  secret  of  holiness  and  happiness  ? 
I  often  think  of  the  beautiful  simplicity  of  the  passage — 'Unto  as 
many  as  received  Him,  to  them  gave  He  power  to  become  the  sons 
of  God.'  Can  we  ever  do  more  than  this?  It  is  thus  alone  we  can 
be  prepared  to  impart.  I  am  glad  that  the  Gospel  is  always  simple. 
Would  it  not  have  been  well  if  we  had  commenced  the  Christian 
life  with  this  conviction  ?  I  recollect  so  well  my  great  perplexity 
when  I  attempted  the  fractions  of  arithmetic,  before  I  had  learned 
the  multiplication  table  5  and  think  my  juvenile  troubles  were  quite 
an  apt  illustration  of  the  condition  of  one  who  essays  a  Christian  life, 
before  he  has  learned  the  elementary  principles  of  religion. 

"  This  is  an  interesting  subject,  but  I  must  leave  it.  I  have  only 
time  to  assure  you  that  I  am  most  truly  your  friend,  cousin  and 
sister." 

To  a  Toutrg  Lady. 

"  March  22,  1854. 

"  Week  after  week  has  my  heart  dictated  a  letter  to  you,  dear  H. ; 
but  as  my  thoughts  assumed  neither  verbal  nor  pencilled  shape,  it 
was  not  in  the  power  of  my  kind  amanuensis  to  transcribe  them. 

"  Your  affectionate  note  gave  me  much  pleasure,  not  only  because 
it  expressed  many  sentiments  that  I  approved,  but  because  it  was  so 
entirely  unreserved,  and  proved  your  consciousness  that  I  am  a  little 
more  than  a  new  acquaintance.  Indeed,  dear  H.,  I  do  love  you  very 
much,  and  am  ready  to  love  you  more. 

"Your  earnest  intellectual  aspirations  find  an  answering  chord  in 
my  own  bosom,  a  chord  which  sounds  not  as  frequent  and  throbbing 
vibrations  as  in  former  days ;  since  the  Framer  of  my  being  has  laid 
the  hand  of  suffering  and  debility  upon  my  physical  energies,  and 


1854.]  LETTERS.  549 

caused  my  inmost  soul  to  echo  the  deep-toned  whisper,  '  Be  still,  and 
know  that  I  am  God.'  He  has  taught  me  that  it  is  better  to  love 
than  to  know,  to  believe  than  to  understand,  and  causes  my  once 
restless  spirit  to  fold  its  wings  and  rejoice  in  the  finished  work  of  my 
lledeemer,  in  the  infinite  perfections  of  the  Ploly  Trinity;  and  thus 
in  some  sense  and  in  a  very  feeble  measure,  I  trust  my  spirit  has 
already  '  returned  to  God  who  gave  it.' 

"  How  blessed  to  have  commenced  the  lesson  which  will  acquire 
new  interest  as  the  ceaseless  ages  of  eternity  shall  roll  on  !  Why 
am  I  not  a  more  attentive  pupil  ?  Alas  !  alas  !  I  learn  so  slowly  that 
I  demand  the  exhaustless  patience  which  is  so  freely  given.  I  think 
I  understand  the  feeling  of  responsibility  and  helplessness  which  is 
induced  by  the  questioning  of  one  who  would  be  directed  in  the  way 
of  life.  It  is  well  that  we  can  tell  Jesus  when  our  friends  would 
see  Him  ;  it  is  well  that  we  can  ask  Him  to  teach  us  all  we  ought  to 
say.  'The  meek  will  He  guide  in  judgment,  —  the  meek  will  He 
teach  His  way.'  Oh,  how  much  this  promise  increases  my  desire 
to  be  truly  humble  t"     *     *     * 

To  Dr.  B. 

"Greenwood,  April  12,  1854. 

"  I  feel  thankful  to  our  Father  in  Heaven  for  your  friendship,  my 
beloved  Dr.  B.,  and  am  so  strongly  impelled  to  express  some  of  my 
many  affectionate  thoughts  that  I  will  no  longer  deny  myself  this 
pleasure ;  and  am,  therefore,  tracing  upon  a  slate  the  lines  to  which 
one  of  my  friends  will  give  more  permanent  impression. 

"  Surely  the  sympathy  and  counsel  of  those  who  have  pitched 
their  tents  in  the  same  wilderness,  and  are  awaiting  with  us  a  sum- 
mons to  a  better  country,  are  among  the  most  valued  blessings  of  our 
pilgrimage. 

"  Very  closely  is  my  heart  united  to  you,  my  beloved  Christian 
friend,  and  very  refreshing  is  the  memory  of  the  hours  we  have 
passed  together.  How  bright,  how  cheering  is  the  anticipation  of 
the  fellowship  of  Heaven  !  It  will  be  wonderful,  indeed,  for  one  so 
entirely  unworthy  to  be  a  recipient  of  such  blessedness ;  but  I  am  a 
sinner  whom  Jesus  came  to  save,  and  it  is  '  to  the  praise  of  His  glory* 
that  I  shall  sing,  that  I  do  now  sing,  the  song  of  the  redeemed. 

"Is  it  not  a  pleasant  thought  that  the  angelic  host,  who  tune  this 
anthem  so  much  more  melodiously  than  it  can  be  learned  on  earth, 
continually  receive  some  accession  to  their  choir?  And  yet  we  are 
so  selfish  as  to  weep  when  a  celestial  harp  is  placed  in  the  hand  of 


550  LETTERS.  [1854. 

one  we  love.  It  is  with  these  mingled  feelings  of  joy  and  sadness 
that  I  inform  you  that  our  much-loved  uucle,  towards  whom  you 
were  attracted  by  the  congeniality  of  Christian  sentiment,  when  you 
last  visited  us,  is  now  a  glorified  spirit. 

"Yesterday,  at  ten  in  the  morning,  'he  was  not,  for  God  took 
him.'  I  told  sister  to  tell  him,  a  few  days  since,  that  I  was  glad  the 
'  Rock  of  Ages'  was  his  resting-place.  He  replied,  with  much  emo- 
tion— '  I  feel  it  to  be  a  great  favor  that  I  am  not  forsaken  at  a  time 
like  this.  I  have  a  hope  that  He,  who  has  been  my  morning  light, 
will  be  my  evening  sun.'  And  thus  it  was;  the  light  grew  brighter 
as  he  passed  away.     *     *     * 

"  How  delighted  I  shall  be  to  receive  a  long  letter  from  you  !  Will 
you  not  write  very  soon  ?  To  see  you  would  be  a  still  greater  plea- 
sure, and  to  be  remembered  in  your  frequent  prayers  an  added  proof 
of  the  great  kindness  you  have  ever  manifested  towards  one  who  is, 
with  warm  and  always  increasing  affection  and  respect,  your  friend." 

To  a  Young  Lady. 

"Greenwood,  June  7th,  1854. 

"  How  pleasant  a  talk  we  might  have  if  you  were  with  me  this 
afternoon,  dear  H.  The  branches  of  my  beautiful  maple  tree  bow 
quietly  and  gracefully  beneath  the  pressure  of  the  rain,  which  re- 
freshes its  leaves,  and  then  sinks  into  the  earth  that  it  may  impart 
new  vigor  to  its  root. 

"  There  are  many  such  plants  in  the  garden  of  the  Lord,  and  we 
do  not  forget,  even  at  this  luxuriant  season,  that  the  economy  of 
grace  is  more  wonderful  and  more  attractive  in  its  varied  unfoldings 
than  the  process  by  which  the  earth  is  filled  with  beauty. 

"What  heart  has  not  its  treasured  memories  of  exquisite  enjoy- 
ment in  the  deep  green  woods,  in  the  gurgling  streams,  in  the  melody 
of  birds,  in  the  contemplation  of  sublime  scenery,  and  in  earnest 
gazing  upon  the  clear  blue  heavens?  But  what  are  these  in  compa- 
rison with  '  the  green  pastures'  and  '  still  waters'  of  spiritual  refresh- 
ment? There  is  music  in  the  soul  which  has  been  taught  to  respond 
to  the  whispers  of  the  Holy  Spirit;  and  the  eye  which  has  been 
touched  with  His  anointing  beholds  unequalled  and  unfading  beauty. 
Oh,  H.,  we  have  a  loving  Father,  and  would  experience  the  full 
meaning  of  a  filial  spirit ! 

"  I  am  glad  you  are  pleased  with  Romaine  on  Faith.  I  wonder 
if  you  have  any  friend  in  N who  possesses  his  entire  works. 


1854.]  LETTERS  551 

They  are  published  in  one  large  volume,  and  contain  some  sermons 

upon  Canticles  which and  I  have  enjoyed  together.     There  is 

a  discourse,  -too,  upon  the  Death  of  Hervey,  which  records  a  very 
luminous  exit  from  the  world,  llomaine's  own  death  was  full  both 
of  realization  and  of  hope,  and  I  am  always  glad  when  the  doctrine 
of  imputed  righteousness  is  thus  attested.  Would  it  not  be  pleasant 
if  you  could  often  read  to  me  ?  I  feel  greatly  disposed  to  cultivate 
our  friendship,  which  is  the  result  of  our  occasional  intercourse,  and 
shall  ever  deeply  appreciate  the  confidence  which  you  express  a  will- 
ingness to  confer. 

"  Oh,  that  mine  may  be  a  more  close  and  holy  fellowship  with  my 
Saviour;  that  I  may  always  have  something  to  give  which  He  has 
given  me  !  It  is  always  in  vain  to  '  commune  by  the  way,'  if  Jesus 
draw  not  near;  but  it  is  true  and  most  consoling  that  He  is  as  ready 
to  vouchsafe  His  invisible  presence  to  those  who  are  attracted  towards 
each  other  by  love  for  Him,  as  when  He  appeared  in  the  way  to 
Emmaus.  Is  it  not  a  serious,  an  inspiring  thought  that  we  may 
receive  His  guidance  in  our  intercourse  with  all  our  fellow-beings  ? 
Should  we  ever  be  frivolous  or  unwatchful,  ever  selfish  or  unpre- 
pared, if  we  realized  their  destiny  and  our  responsibility  ?  We  may, 
we  must  do  good  or  harm  in  our  intercourse  with  strangers.  It  is 
then  a  solemn  thing  to  be  a  friend.  Our  suSiciency  is  of  God.  *Ho 
will  teach  us  of  His  waj^s,  and  we  will  walk  in  His  paths.'  An 
upright  heart,  sanctified  opinions,  impressive  words,  and  useful 
actions  are  the  effects  of  union  to  Jesus,  and  increasingly  intimate 
communion  with  the  Father  through  Him. 

"  He  gives  also  the  spirit  of  intercessory  prayer,  and  I  hope  this 
blessing  will  be  so  largely  poured  upon  you,  that  you  shall  be  enabled 
to  offer  accepted  petitions  for  your  dear  absent  brother  and  for  your 
truly  afi'ectionate  friend,  S.  A." 

To  a  Youi)g  Person. 

«<  April  5th,  1854. 

"  I  hope  my  kind  amanuensis  will  transcribe  this  evening  the 
slate-pencilled  letter  I  now  commence,  but  as  I  shall  not  inform  him 
to  whom  it  is  addressed,  I  intend  to  write  quite  as  unreservedly  as 
though  I  were  using  ray  own  pen. 

"  I  feel  very  grateful  to  my  copyist  for  his  valuable  services,  but 
hope  I  realize  more  deeply  my  dependence  upon  the  aid  of  a  dearer 
and  more  powerful  Friend.  For  how  can  I  say  anjthing  that  will 
be  really  useful,  unless  the  Holy  Spirit  prompt  my  words  ?     I  lift 


552  LETTERS.  [1854. 

Tip  my  heart  in  prayer  for  this  heavenly  guidance.  I  would  write 
with  the  affection  and  solemnity  of  one  who  must  give  account  for 
the  manner  in  which  this  and  every  other  opportunity  of  intercourse 
has  been  discharged. 

''  I  write  to  one  who  possesses  a  being  which  can  never  be  extin- 
guished, whose  eternal  destiny  will  be  sealed  I  know  not  when,  but 
to  whom  Scripture  has  addressed  the  solemn  warning — '  To-day  if  ye 
will  hear  his  voice,  harden  not  your  heart.'  Yes  !  she  to  whom  my 
pencil  traces  these  lines  is  one  of  those  thus  earnestly  persuaded  to 
remember  that  '  now  is  the  accepted  time,  now  is  the  day  of  salva- 
tion.' Suppose  this  gracious  invitation  were  reversed  to  a  sentence 
such  as  this  :  '  Now  is  the  hour  of  your  condemnation.  The  accepted 
time  has  passed  away,  whilst  you  were  yielding  to  the  suggestions 
of  the  world,  the  flesh  and  the  dreadful  adversary  who  has  so  tightly 
bound  his  fetters  around  your  soul.'  How  vain  would  be  then  your 
regret,  how  vain  my  efforts,  and,  alas !  too  late  my  fervent  prayers 
on  your  behalf!  Oh,  that  we  may  both  be  truly  thankful  that  this 
is  not  so !  Oh,  that  we  may  both  feel  the  value  of  your  precious 
soul,  and  appreciate  the  fulness  and  freeness  of  redeeming  love ! 
Come,  oh!  come  now  to  Jesus.  He  is  'waiting  to  be  gracious,' 
waiting  to  wash  away  every  sin,  and  expel  every  unholy  propensity. 

"  I  have  often  been  impressed  with  the  beauty  and  practical  value 
of  the  announcement  of  the  angel  who  foretold  the  birth  of  our 
blessed  Saviour  :  '  Thou  shalt  call  His  name  Jesus,  for  He  shall  save 
His  people  from  their  sins.'  It  is  then  from  our  sins,  and  not  in 
them,  that  Jesus  is  to  save  us.  It  is  also  said  that  He  'gave  Him- 
self for  us,  that  He  might  redeem  us  from  all  iniquity,'  and  it  is  to 
this  object  of  His  mission  I  would  prayerfully,  affectionately,  tear- 
fully direct  your  attention.  Emotion  upon  religious  subjects  will 
not  satisfy  one  who  longs  for  your  salvation  as  I  do.  Principle,  fixed 
principle  will  rejoice  my  heart,  if  I  see  it  shining  through  your  cha- 
racter. It  is  not  in  a  spirit  of  criticism,  but  in  love  and  faithfulness 
to  your  soul,  that  I  tell  you  that  careful  observation  of  your  character 
has  confirmed  my  fears  that  insincerity  is  your  prominent  fault;  and 
it  is  better,  far  better  that  you  should  realize  this  painful  truth  whilst 
you  are  young,  than  permit  a  sin  which  is  of  all  others  most  abhor- 
rent to  your  Maker  and  repulsive  to  your  friends,  to  increase  in  power. 
I  wish  you  could  know  how  affectionately  I  feel  whilst  engaged  in 
writing  these  words ;  how  fully  I  am  convinced  that  the  Great  Phy- 
sician is  able  and  willing  to  heal  the  disease  to  which  I  would  direct 
your  attention.     Will  you  not  soon  and  very  often  pray  over  every 


1854.]  DIARY.  553 

verse  of  the  51st  Psalm,  and  always  offer  most  earnest  petition  when 
the  sixth  verse  commends  itself  to  your  attention  ?  Will  you  not 
thus  use  the  25th  Psalm  ? 

"  How  blessed,  how  useful  your  life  will  be  if  the  thorough  change 
of  heart  which  the  Bible  teaches  and  the  Holy  Spirit  gives,  be 
granted  you  now  in  the  morning  of  your  days  !  I  have  known  com- 
municants who  have  injured  the  holy  cause  they  profess  to  love  by 
the  sin  from  which  I  am  so  anxious  you  should  be  delivered.  I 
know  one  who  Weeps,  and  prays  and  talks  earnestly  of  spiritual 
things,  who  is  accused  by  very  many  persons,  some  of  whom  are 
unknown  to  each  other,  of  frequent,  of  almost  constant  violations  of 
truth.  What  is  to  be  thought  of  this  ?  God  is  the  Judge  :  we  must 
leave  her  in  His  hands ;  but,  alas !  I  have  often  feared  that  she  will 
receive  an  unexpected  sentence  at  the  last  day.  That  word  which 
itself  is  true  has  told  us  in  the  21st  and  22d  chapters  of  Revelation, 
as  well  as  in  many  other  parts,  that  no  one  can  enter  Heaven  who  is 
not  sincere  and  truthful.  Go  then  to  Him  who  is  '  the  way,  the 
truth  and  the  life,'  and  He  will  make  you  like  Himself.  Ask  Him 
to  make  you  know  the  worst  of  your  case.  The  whole  need  not  a 
physician,  but  they  that  are  sick.  Some  Christians  have  become 
conspicuous  for  the  virtues  in  which  their  natural  characters  were 
most  deficient.  I  have  read  of  one  whose  temper  was  violent,  and 
who  spent  whole  nights  in  prayer  that  it  might  be  subdued.  It  was 
said  that  for  years  before  his  death  he  was  never  heard  to  speak  an 
impatient  word.  Should  not  this  encourage  us  to  take  all  our  sins 
to  Jesus,  and  expect  pardon  and  victory  through  Him  ? 

"  That  we  may  be  among  the  number  of  those  who  shall  forever 
praise  God  and  the  Lamb,  even  the  white-robed  company  of  Heaven, 
prays  your  truly  affectionate." 

From  her  Diary. 

^^Sunday,  April  IQth.  —  I  feel  that  the  greatest  necessity 
of  my  soul  is  the  ability  to  fully  appreciate  the  love  of  God. 
I  direct  my  prayers  unto  Him  that  this  blessing  may  be  given 
me.  I  have  experienced  His  love  in  Christ  Jesus  these  many 
years.     It  has  been  the  light  of  my  life. 

"  I  believe  the  Holy  Spirit  has  not  at  any  time  since  my 
doubts  were  first  removed,  ceased  to  bear  witness  with  my 
spirit  that  I  am  a  child  of  God ;  and  I  am  sustained  by  this 

47 


554  DIARY.  [1854. 

assurance  in  every  hour  of  suffering  and  in  every  trial  of  my 
pilgrimage.  But  I  feel  straitened,  and  that  not  in  the  Lord 
but  in  myself.  I  v^ish  to  understand  more  fully  than  I  have 
ever  done  such  passages  as  these :  '  We  have  known  and 
believed  the  love  that  God  hath  to  us.'  '  Herein  is  Love,  not 
that  we  loved  God,  but  that  He  loved  us,'  &c.  '  God  so  loved 
the  world  that  He  gave  His  only-begotten  Son.'  'As  the 
Father  hath  loved  me,  so  have  I  loved  you.'  '  The  Lord's 
portion  is  His  people ;'  and  many  other  expressions  in  Scrip- 
ture which  testify  the  intense  affection  of  our  reconciled 
Father  in  Christ  Jesus ;  the  unutterable  tenderness  of  Him 
who  loved  us  and  gave  Himself  for  us.  Heavenly  Father, 
add  to  all  Thy  mercies  grace  to  appreciate  them  as  tokens  of 
Thy  love.  Oh,  shed  abroad  that  love  in  my  heart  by  the 
Holy  Ghost !  Enable  me  to  meditate  upon  Thy  attributes. 
Show  me  Thy  glory  in  the  face  of  Christ  Jesus.  There  only 
hast  Thou  promised  to  reveal  it,  and  there  alone  would  I  behold 
it.  I  want  both  the  principle  and  the  emotion  of  love ;  but 
desire  that  love  only  which  is  proved  hj  filial  obedience. 

"  '  This  is  life  eternal,'  that  I  'know  Thee,  the  only  true 
Godj  and  Jesus  Christ  whom  Thou  hast  sent.' 

'  Oh  !  love  divine,  how  sweet  thou  art ! 
When  shall  I  find  my  willing  heart 

All  taken  up  by  Thee  ? 
I  thirst,  I  faint,  I  Idng  to  prove 
The  greatness  of  Redeeming  love, 

The  love  of  Christ  to  me.' 

"  Dear  Mr.  Fowles  and  Uncle  H.  have  gone  to  receive  the 
fulness  of  the  joy  of  which  we  have  so  often  talked  together. 
Uncle  sent  me  word,  a  few  days  before  his  death,  that  he 
hoped  that  He  who  had  been  his  morning  light  would  be  his 
evening  song. 

"  Mr.  Fowles  died  as  he  lived,  reposing  upon  the  covenant 
of  grace. 

"  'Remember  me,  0  Lord,  with  the  favor  that  Thou  bearest 


1854.]  DIARY.  555 

unto  Thy  people.  Oli,  visit  me  with  Tliy  salvation,  that  I 
may  see  the  good  of  Thy  chosen ;  that  I  may  rejoice  in  the 
gladness  of  Thy  nation ;  that  I  may  gloi-y  with  Thine  inher- 
itance.' 

"  20tJi.  —  I  have  just  had  a  visit  from  a  Methodist  Indian 
missionary,  now  laboring  on  Lake  Ontario.  I  liked  his  frank, 
manly  deportment,  and  was  interested  in  the  account  of  his 
conversion.  He  says  he  prayed  to  the  moon,  when  he  knew 
not  the  true  God,  and  asked  it  to  guide  him  to  the  deer,  that 
he  might  have  food  to  eat.  When  he  was  told  of  the 
Almighty,  and  that  he  must  approach  Him  through  Jesus 
Christ,  he  replied,  '  that  this  was  the  white  man's  pray.  God 
would  not  hear  an  Indian.'  He  began,  however,  to  wish  to 
ask  the  blessing  of  the  Most  High,  but  thought  He  could  only 
understand  English,  and  that  it  would  be  vain  to  offer  prayer 
in  the  Ojibwa  tongue. 

"After  three  or  four  weeks  of  great  anxiety  he  met  Peter 
Jones,  and  to  his  great  surprise  heard  him  return  thanks, 
after  eating,  in  Ojibwa.  He  felt  encouraged  then,  and  went 
into  the  woods  and  prayed :  '  0  God,  I  was  so  ignorant  and 
blind,  that  I  did  not  know  that  Thou  couldst  understand  my 
Ojibwa  tongue.'  He  then  asked  pardon  through  the  blood 
of  Christ,  and  although  he  thought  that  his  prayers  were  not 
answered  at  once,  at  length  his  'heart-sickness'  was  taken 
away,  and  he  'experienced  another  feeling  which  was  joy  in 
the  Holy  Ghost.' 

"  He  prayed  with  me,  and  said,  '  Show  her  very  plain  in 
her  heart  that  the  longest  life  is  not  long,'  and  then  urged 
that  I  might  be  shown  the  blessedness  which  is  to  come. 

"  The  day  before  yesterday  I  had  dear  H.  and  R.  to  pass 
the  afternoon  with  me.  H.  read  the  8th  chapter  of  Romans, 
commented  upon  it,  and  prayed  fervently.  Dear  R.  antici- 
pated his  mission  with  a  calm  and  hopeful  spirit." 

[Und  of  lier  Diary.) 


556  LETTERS.  [1854. 

To  Rev.  R.  S. 

"May,  1854. 

"  It  was  well  it  was  in  thine  heart  to  sail  in  that  crowded  emigrant 
vessel,  my  dear  brother,  and  I  was  willing  to  let  thee  go,  but  I  hear 
in  this  delay  our  Father's  voice,  and  doubt  not  He  has  something 
for  His  servant  to  learn  and  to  do  ere  he  be  fully  commissioned  for 
a  foreign  field  of  labor. 

"  A  new  page  of  the  book  of  Providence  is  thus  opened.  It  may 
be  that  former  lessons  are  to  be  recapitulated ;  it  may  be  that  new 
ones  are  to  be  learned.  Let  thine  eyes  be  steadily  fixed  upon  the 
yet  invisible  characters  of  this  volume,  and  then  wilt  thou  read,  and 
understand,  and  rejoice  that  thou  didst  believe.  Oh  !  is  it  not  a 
blessing  to  be  a  pupil  of  the  Most  High  God  ?  *  Who  teacheth  like 
Him?' 

"  The  order  of  the  planetary  systems,  the  demonstrations  of  mathe- 
matics, the  harmony  of  sound,  the  affinities  of  natural  afiection,  give 
inexpressible  satisfaction  to  the  intellect,  the  ear,  the  heart;  but  the 
will  of  God,  this  is  a  higher  study — this  the  science  which  satisfies 
and  enlarges  the  capabilities  of  our  whole  being.  I  often  think  of  a 
prayer  which  was  once  ofibred  in  my  room,  *  May  we  trust  Thee, 
when  we  cannot  trace  Thee.' 

"  I  believe  that  discomposure  and  perplexity  will  be  sent  into 
banishment  by  the  upright  in  heart,  or  rather  by  Him  who  is  the 
source  of  tranquillity. 

"  Let  us  pray,  my  beloved  brother,  as  we  linger,  I  upon  the  banks 
of  Jordan,  you  upon  the  shores  of  your  native  land,  that  unto  us 
may  be  vouchsafed  the  fulfilment  of  the  promise,  *  In  quietness  and 
confidence  shall  be  your  strength.  '  In  returning  and  rest  shall  ye  be 
saved.'    Isaiah  30  :  15. 

"  Our  friends  may  wonder  that  I  should  wish  to  die  and  you  to 
go  to  Africa,  but  we  know  that  darkness  shall  be  chased  away  from 
the  valley  of  the  shadow  of  death,  and  from  the  uttermost  recesses 
of  heathen  ignorance, 

"  We  are  almost  impatient  for  sunrise,  but  it  has  its  appointed 
time.  Does  it  seem  to  you,  dear  Robert,  that  this  holy  light  has 
yet  dawned  upon  poor  Pineville  ?  I  wish  you  would  go  there  and 
proclaim  the  good  tidings  you  expect  to  carry  so  far. 

"  Years  have  passed  away  since  I  sat  upon  the  fence  as  I  returned 
from  the  shady  woods  of  Temora,  and  surveyed  the  beautiful  scenery 
and  cultivated  vegetation  of  the  surrounding  country,  with  a  painful 


1854.]  LETTERS.  557 

realization  that  very  little  spiritual  culture  Lad  been  given.  Then  I 
thought  of  our  Saviour's  words,  <  The  fields  are  white  unto  the  har- 
vest, but  the  laborers  are  few.  Pray  ye,  therefore,  the  Lord  of  the 
harvest  that  He  will  send  forth  laborers  unto  the  harvest.'  I  did 
offer  this  petition,  and  perhaps  you  will  be  sent  to  answer  it. 

"  I  have  never  forgotten  that  bright  summer  morning,  with  its 
heaviness  of  heart,  because  the  name  of  Jesus  was  not  faithfully 
proclaimed."     *     *     * 

To  a  Young  Relative. 

"May,  1854. 

"  I  do  not  suppose  that  cousin  Sue  is  often  included  in  the  busy 
thoughts  and  memories  of  the  youthful  student  to  whom  my  letter 
is  addressed,  but  I  am  fully  assured  that  she  will  be  glad  to  learn 
that  she  is  remembered  with  affectionate  interest,  by  one  who  has 
more  time  for  quiet  reflection,  and  who  is  inclined  by  the  Holy  Spirit 
to  offer  frequent  petitions  for  her  orphan  relative. 

"  Have  any  of  these  prayers  been  answei'cd,  dear  S.  ?  Can  you 
cheer  my  heart  by  the  tidings  that  you  have  been  so  deeply  im- 
pressed by  a  sense  of  sin,  that  you  could  no  longer  be  contented  that 
the  wrath  of  God  should  abide  upon  you,  and  have  fled  to  Jesus  for 
pardon  and  peace  ?  Can  you  tell  me  that  you  hope  you  have  been 
born  again,  that  you  feel  a  sweet  sense  of  reconciliation  to  God 
through  the  merits  of  His  Son,  and  a  sincere  desire  to  please  Him 
in  all  you  do  ?  If  you  were  to  assure  me  of  all  this,  I  should  feel 
indeed  disposed  to  exclaim,  '  In  Thee  the  fatherless  findeth  mercy.' 
No  one  need  feel  desolate  who  belongs  to  the  family  of  God.  No 
one  is  dependent  upon  circumstances  of  earthly  prosperity,  to  whom 
He  is  '  a  sun  and  shield.'  '  The  Lord  is  my  portion,  saith  my  soul, 
therefore  will  I  hope  in  Him.' 

"  I  do  not  mean  to  write  you  a  long  and  tedious  letter,  but  ear- 
nestly entreat  you  to  give  to  the  few  remarks  I  have  made  earnest 
and  prayerful  consideration ;  and  when  you  answer  my  letter,  remem- 
ber that  you  are  writing  to  a  friend  that  loves  you,  and  will  appre- 
ciate your  confidence.  Tell  me,  first,  if  you  must  give  me  an  afiirma- 
tive  or  negative  answer  to  my  questions,  and  some  other  thoughts 
upon  this  important  subject.      *     *     * 

"  I  will  close  ray  letter  with  love  to  E.,  and  this  text,  <  Wilt  thou 
not  from  this  time  cry,  My  Father,  Thou  art  the  Guide  of  my 
youth'  ?" 

47* 


658  LETTERS.  [1854. 

To  a  Friend. 

'•May  15,  1854. 

'^  If  human  sympathy  were  the  only  alleviation  of  your  sorrow, 
my  dear  stricken  friends,  it  would  be  sad  indeed.  But  it  is  a  most 
consoling  reflection  that  the  event,  which  has  elicited  so  much  feel- 
ing here,  has  been  regarded  with  the  deeper  interest  which  is  the 
capability  of  a  superior  nature.  He,  who  was  once  ^  a  Man  of  sor- 
rows and  acquainted  with  grief,'  and  who  has  endowed  our  being 
with  its  tender  relationships  and  exquisite  sensibilities,  has  a  heart 
of  pity  more  powerful  in  its  actings,  more  efl&cient  in  its  ability  to 
console^  than  the  utmost  necessities  of  our  condition  can  fully  test. 
It  is  my  prayer  that  faith  may  be  given  you  to  make  earnest  and 
continual  demands  upon  this  inexhaustible  reservoir  of  grace.  May 
the  Holy  Ghost,  the  Comforter,  pour  upon  you  all  this  spirit  of  sap- 
plication,  and  may  He  so  take  of  the  things  of  Jesus  and  show  them 
unto  you,  that  there  shall  be  bright  light  in  your  desolate  dwelling, 
sweet  peace  in  your  sorrowful  hearts. 

"  The  widow  and  the  fatherless  !  And  are  these  sad  words  appli- 
cable to  you  ?  It  is  even  so.  But  God  is  the  Husband  of  the 
widow  —  the  Father  of  the  fatherless. 

"  He  will  take  care  of  you,  and  bless  you.  Oh  !  do  not  look 
around  you,  but  look  up.  If  you  could  catch  but  one  note  of  the 
angelic  choir!  one  note  !  Oh,  no  !  the  prolonged  melody  your  loved 
one  has  already  so  well  learned  to  attune,  you  would  so  sympathize 
with  his  joy  that  you  would  almost  forget  to  weep. 

"  We  are  an  orphan  family,  and  God  has  been  our  Father  and 
our  Friend.  I  bless  Him  for  His  loving-kindness  to  my  now  glori- 
fied mother,  for  His  mercy  to  us  all.  Be  of  good  courage,  and  He 
shall  strengthen  your  hearts. 

"  Perhaps  those  lines  from  Dr.  Alexander's  Work,  on  *  Consola- 
tion,' may  give  you  some  comfort.  Do  not  forget  that  life  is  very 
short,  and  that  the  happiness  of  Heaven  endures  for  ever. 

"  Believe  me,  with  Christian,  with  prayerful  sympathy,  your 
friend." 

To  Mrs.  P. 

"May,  1854. 

''  I  feel  that  it  will  be  a  personal  gratification,  dear  Mrs.  P.,  to 
send  a  missive  of  affection  to  your  beautiful  place  of  exile  from  so 
many  you  love,  and  to  whom  you  are  dear.  With  the  thoughts  of 
sympathy  with  which  I  so  often  visit  you,  is  mingled  a  cheerful  hope 
that  a  message  of  healing  may  be  conveyed  by  the  mild  air  of  the 


1854.]  LETTERS.  559 

south,  and  that  you  and  your  family  may  be  thus  compensated  for 
all  the  trial  of  separation.  It  is,  at  all  events,  a  great  comfort  that 
it  protects  you  from  the  damp  and  chilling  atmosphere  we  breathe, 
and  a  gre'ater  consolation  that  you  are  under  the  guardianship  of  a 
wise  and  loving  Father,  who  will  abate  or  increase  your  physical 
symptoms  in  the  degree  which  will  most  conduce  to  His  glory  and 
your  highest  good. 

"  Do  you  remember  the  beautiful  hymn  of  Toplady,  in  which  is 
expressed  the  sentiment : 

'  Sweet,  in  the  confidence  of  faith, 
To  trust  His  firm  decrees  ; 
Sweet  to  lie  passive  in  His  hands, 
And  know  no  will  but  His.' 

'  Sweet  on  His  faithfulness  to  rest, 
Whose  love  can  never  end, 
Sweet  on  the  covenant  of  grace, 
For  all  things  to  depend. 

" '  When  He  giveth  quietness,  who  then  can  make  trouble?' 
There  is  surely  no  such  composure  as  that  which  is  enjoyed  by  the 
believer,  who,  reposing  upon  the  will  of  the  Most  High,  awaits  the 
dispensations  of  His  Providence  with  an  unwavering  expectation 
that  ^ all  things  shall  work  together'  for  his  'good.'  Do  you  not 
wish  that  our  faith  were  strong  enough  to  appreciate  all  that  is  con- 
veyed to  us  by  that  assurance,  'All  things  are  yours.  Whether 
Paul,  or  Apollos,  or  Cephas,  or  the  world,  or  life,  or  death,  or  things 
present,  or  things  to  come ;  all  are  yours,  and  ye  are  Christ's,  and 
Christ  is  God's.'  Union  to  Jesus,  and  with  the  Father  through 
Him,  is  so  great  a  blessing,  that  we,  who  trust  it  is  ours,  may  well 
respond  to  the  exclamation  of  a  Christian  of  whom  I  have  some- 
where read,  '  Let  who  will  be  miserable,  I  will  not,  I  cannot.' 

How  much  more  happy  and  holy  we  should  be,  if  we  more  fully 
appropriated  '  The  Lord  our  Eighteousness,'  if  we  continually  studied 
His  character,  and  sought  conformity  to  His  example  !  '  With  Thee 
is  the  fountain  of  life  :  in  Thy  light  shall  we  see  light.'  How  often 
have  the  darkness  of  sin  and  the  clouds  of  sorrow  been  chased  away 
by  this  Heavenly  effulgence  !  To  how  many  stricken  ones  has  our 
compassionate  Redeemer  extended  His  healing  offices  !  We  know 
and  feel  now  that  '  we  have  not  an  High  Priest  which  cannot  be 
touched  with  a  feeling  of  our  infirmities,'  but  our  experience  of  His 
sympathy  with  all  our  sorrows  will  have  only  ceased  when  He  shall 


560  LETTERS.  [1854. 

have  wiped  away  all  tears  from  our  eyes,  and  expanded  their  vision 
to  behold  His  glory  in  His  celestial  temple.  There,  with  unfal- 
tering songs  of  praise,  we  shall  recount  the  blessings  of  our  pil- 
grimage, and  listen  with  rapturous  delight  to  the  attestations  of  those 
who  share  our  felicity,  that  our  Redeemer  was  to  them  also  '■  the 
shadow  of  a  great  Rock  in  a  weary  land.' 

"And  when  all  these  developments  of  eternity  shall  have  been 
unfolded,  will  not  He  who  has  partaken  of  our  sorrow  sweetly  sym- 
pathize with  our  joy  ?  Then  shall  He  '  see  of  the  travail  of  His 
soul,  and  be  satisfied.'  Then  for  His  sake,  through  the  imputation 
of  His  righteousness,  shall  He  behold  a  great  company,  '  which  no 
man  can  number,'  rescued  from  all  evil,  enjoying  the  consummation 
of  all  blessedness.  This  will  be  the  triumph  of  benevolence,  this  its 
fruition  ;  and  we,  even  we,  its  recipients  for  ever.  Let  us  then 
'rejoice  evermore.'  Let  us  pray  for  grace  to  make  an  unreserved 
surrender  of  our  souls,  of  these  frail  earthly  tenements,  of  the  dearest 
objects  of  our  affection,  to  the  keeping  of  Him  who  has  begun  now, 
and  will  never  cease  to  '  make  all  His  goodness  pass  before  us.' 

"  I  wish  I  could  give  you  the  little  vase  of  lilies  upon  my  stand ; 
but  you  are  surrounded  by  bright  flowers  and  warm  southern  hearts. 
How  much  you  would  enjoy  a  book  my  sisters  are  reading  to  me, 
*  Consolation,'  by  Dr.  James  Alexander.  There  is  much  profit  in 
his  remark,  'Those  who  dwell  most  on  the  person  and  work  of 
Christ  have  the  brightest  prospects  of  future  blessedness.'  Will  you 
not  pray  that  this  may  be  my  constant  employment,  dear  Mrs.  P.  ?  * 

To  the  Author. 

"  May  17,  1854. 

*  *  *  "  How  wonderfully  sympathy  multiplies  our  sources  of 
happiness  !  I  have  always  been  pleased  with  an  idea  quoted  by  my 
cousin  from  a  favorite  author,  some  years  ago,  that,  as  the  persons 
who  set  out  from  any  part  of  a  circle,  and  direct  their  course  towards 
its  centre,  will  constantly  draw  near  each  other,  until  at  length  they 
meet  at  the  common  point  of  attraction,  Christian  hearts  will  be 
united  in  closer  and  more  holy  fellowship  as  they  approach  Him  who 
has  loved  them  with  an  everlasting  love,  and  therefore  with  loving- 
kindness  has  drawn  them. 

"  I  was  deeply  interested  in  the  conversation  of  a  French  clergy- 
man, who  visited  me  several  months  since.  In  allusion  to  some 
Swiss  Protestants,  whose  Pastor  he  had  formerly  been,  he  remarked 
that  the  persecutions  to  which  they  were  exposed  greatly  increases 


1854.]  LETTERS.  561 

their  affection  for  eacia  other,  and  said  with  much  feeling,  '  Chris- 
tians in  America  do  not  like  the  suffering  side  of  Christ ;  they  like 
the  brilliant  side.'  I  do  not  feel  that  this  has  been  my  experience, 
since  a  very  grateful  heart,  a  good  memory,  and  much  time  ■would 
be  demanded  by  the  enumeration  of  all  the  proofs  of  Christian  sym- 
pathy which  have  been  my  portion.  Still,  I  am  not  surprised  that 
Mr.  F.  should  miss  the  concentrated  fervor  of  the  little  band  who 
met  together  to  praise  God  and  learn  His  will  more  fully,  at  the  risk 
of  imprisonment  and  many  other  trials.     *     *     * 

*  *  *  a  Much  has  been  written  about  filial  love,  but  it  is  in 
the  silence  of  the  chamber  of  death,  in  the  hidden  recesses  of  the 
memory,  that  the  depths  of  this  affection  are  sounded.  As  years 
pass  on,  it  is  proved  to  be  '  deeper  and  more  deep ;'  and  blessed  are 
those  children  who  realize  that  among  the  blessings  conveyed  to 
them  by  the  covenant  of  grace,  is  eternal  affiance  to  a  glorified 
Mother. 

"  It  is  a  blessing  greater  still,  that  He  who  has  endued  our  nature 
with  sensibilities  so  intense  and  so  enduring,  is  Himself  the  portion 
of  His  people,  that  He  gives  them  in  the  hour  of  bereavement  such 
soul-sustaining  manifestations  of  His  presence,  that  they  are  thankful 
for  the  sorrow  which  has  brought  Him  so  near.  If  this  experience 
were  the  only  beneficial  result  of  an  acceptance  of  the  offers  of  salva- 
tion, would  it  not  be  well  that  every  heart  which  loves  and  is  capable 
of  suffering  should  flee  at  once  to  Jesus,  that  all  the  impending 
storms  of  life  may  be  received  upon  the  Rock  of  Ages,  and  only 
there  ?  The  company  of  believers  who  assemble  in  this  hiding-place 
have  learned  that  there  is  no  such  affiliation  as  that  which  unites 
them  to  God.  Their  joy  is  greater  than  their  sorrow,  when  they 
say,  'Thy  will  be  done,'  and  bless  their  Father  in  Heaven  for  having 
done  a  will  so  wise  and  kind."     *     *     * 

To  Mrs.  Kalley. 

"June  14,  1854. 
"You  did  not  know,  dear  Mrs.  Kalley,  when  Mrs.  S.  conveyed 
you  to  a  chamber  of  sickness  in  Hamilton  village,  that  you  would 
leave  there  a  friend  who  would  always  think  of  you  with  pleasure , 
but  so  it  was,  and  I  therefore  gladly  availed  myself  of  Mrs.  N.'s 
kindness  in  permitting  me  to  become  acquainted  with  the  contents 
of  some  of  the  letters  she  received  from  you. 

"  They  gave  fresh  impulse  to  my  prayers  for  the  interesting  Refu- 
gees, with  whom  your  husband  is  connected  by  so  many  associations 
2l 


662  LETTERS.  [1854. 

•which  will  be  among  the  hallowed  memories  of  the  better  land,  and 
for  whose  spiritual  and  mental  culture  it  is  now  your  privilege  to 
share  his  efforts.  You  have,  indeed,  endured  many  deprivations  in 
the  Western  place  of  sojourn,  in  which  these  pilgrims  of  faith  have 
been  taught  more  fully  of  '  the  city  which  hath  foundations,'  and  of 
that  precious  Redeemer  who  is  the  Way  thither,  and  the  end  of  that 
way ;  but  you  have  done  this  cheerfully,  because  '  you  know  the 
grace  of  our  Lord  Jesus,'  and  would  have  Him  '  see  of  the  travail 
of  his  soul,  and  be  satisfied.' 

"  Oh  that  your  whole  life  may  be  one  of  toil  and  pleasure  in  His 
service  —  one  of  continual  manifestations  of  His  presence,  and  con- 
tinual abiding  in  His  peace  !  Even  in  this  world,  the  Christian  has 
a  bright  inheritance,  dear  Mrs.  Kalley,  since  the  Lord  is  the  portion 
of  His  people. 

'  We  would  see  Jesus,  the  great  Rock  foundation 
On  which  our  feet  were  set  by  sovereign  grace ; 
Not  life,  nor  death,  with  all  their  agitation, 
Can  thence  remove  us  if  we  see  His  face. 

'  We  would   see  Jesus ;  sense  is  all  too  blinding, 

And  Heaven  appears  too  dim,  too  far  away ; 
AVe  would  see  Him  to  gain  a  sweet  reminding. 
That  He  hath  promised  our  great  debt  to  pay. 

*  We  would  see  Jesus  ;  this  is  all  we're  needing ; 

Strength,  joy  and  willingness  come  with  the  sight ; 
We  would  see  Jesus,  dying,  risen,  pleading; 
Then,  welcome  day,  and  farewell  mortal  night.' 

"  This  very  trifling  enclosure  from  myself  and  a  friend,  for  your 
missionary  project,  will  be  of  little  service,  but  I  trust  my  daily  peti- 
tions for  its  success  will  be  accepted  by  our  Father  in  Heaven.  Ask 
Dr.  Kalley  if  he  will  not  sometimes  remember  me  in  his  prayers, 
and  tell  him  I  have  not  forgotten  iiis  kind  and  refreshing  visit. 

"  With  the  Christian  regard  which  waives  the  ceremony  of  ordi- 
nary intercourse,  believe  me,  dear  Mrs.  Kalley,  most  affectionately 
yours." 

To  a  Young  Relative. 

"May  31,  1854. 
"Your  protracted  silence,  dear  W.,  in  addition  to  the  information 
received  some  time  since,  confirms  my  apprehension  that  you  are 
very  sick,  and  I  therefore  send  you  a  missive  of  Christian  sympathy. 


1854.]  LETTERS.  563 

in  lieu  of  the  visit  I  should  love  to  pay  you  if  it  were  in  my  power. 
I  do  indeed  feel  for  you  very  deeply,  my  dear  W.  You  must  have 
many  afiectionate  recollections  of  the  home  in  which  you  were  onco 
so  tenderly  cherished,  and  you  must  ever  yearn  for  your  dear  mo- 
ther's presence,  and  your  father's  ever  watchful  care.  But  when 
these  busy  memories  rush  into  your  heart,  you  must  lift  up  that 
heart  in  earnest  prayer,  and  endeavor  to  calm  it  by  meditation  upon 
the  wisdom  and  love  of  our  Father  in  Heaven,  and  upon  the  sym- 
pathy of  that  blessed  Saviour  who  is  '  touched  with  a  feeling  of  our 
infirmities.'  There  is  a  Home  in  which  all  tears  will  be  wiped  away. 
How  solemn,  and  how  beautiful,  is  the  Collect  which  asks  that  we 
may  '  so  pass  through  things  temporal,  that  we  finally  lose  not  the 
things  which  are  eternal !'  How  prayerfully  and  humbly  should  wo 
receive  both  the  trials  and  blessings  of  life !  How  intense  should  bo 
our  desire  to  resist  the  temptations,  and  discharge  the  duties  which 
surround  every  step  of  our  journey  ! 

"  I  thought  of  you  with  deep  solicitude  while  you  were  in  New 
Orleans.  I  hope  you  did  '  witness  a  good  confession'  in  that  city, 
in  which  God  is  so  much  forgotten. 

"  Write  to  me  very  soon,  if  you  have  sufficient  strength.  If  this 
effort  be  too  great,  have  you  n^jt  some  friend  who  will  perform  the 
mechanical  part  of  your  letter  ?  Tell  me  all  your  feelings,  especially 
if  you  be  enabled  to  realize  the  preciousness  of  our  Saviour,  and  the 
faithfulness  of  God,  even  in  the  midst  of  physical  discomfort.  These 
experiences  are  most  consoling  to  me,  dear  Willie. 

"  That  '  the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesns'  may  be  more  fully  revealed  to 
us  both,  is  the  prayer  of  your  ever  affj'ctionate ." 

The  submissiveness  of  Miss  Ail?bone  was  put  to  another 
severe  test  in  the  apparent  danger  of  loss  of  sight,  in  the 
summer  of  this  year.  Inasmuch  as  some  of  her  sweetest 
enjoyments  were  through  the  medium  of  vision,  we  can  the 
better  estimate  the  degree  in  which  her  will  was  subjected  to 
that  of  her  Father  in  Heaven.  Referring  io  the  increased 
weakness  of  the  optic  nerve,  she  observed,  "  The  possibility 
of  becoming  totally  blind  does  not  give  me  the  slightest  un- 
easiness. I  feel  that  my  eyes  shall  behold  the  King  in  His 
beauty."     Although  she  had  so  much  delighted  in  reading 


564  LETTERS.  [1854. 

the  Scriptures,  in  looking  upon  the  countenances  of  her 
friends,  in  flowers,  and  in  glimpses  of  sky  and  trees  through 
her  windows,  she  could  speak  with  calmness  and  cheerfulness 
of  resigning  all  these  pleasures.  To  this  apprehended  trial 
(which,  however,  she  was  mercifully  spared)  there  is  allusion 
in  the  following  letter : 

To  Mrs.  a  S  0. 

"July  14,  1854. 

"  I  will  employ  Mr.  B.'s  pen,  dearest ,  in  some  words  of  love 

to  thee.  I  dare  not  trace  them  with  a  pencil  any  longer,  as  the 
optic  nerve  evidences  increasing  sympathy  with  the  general  debility 
of  my  system.  Thee  must  not  be  grieved  when  I  tell  thee  that  the 
vision  of  one  eye  has  been  affected  these  two  weeks  past.  The  doctor 
has  been  deeply  interested  in  this  new  symptom,  but  I  am  thankful 
to  say  that  'none  of  these  things  move  me,  neither  count  I  my  life 
dear  unto  myself,  so  that  I  might  finish  my  course  with  joy.'  We 
are  told  of  the  celestial  world,  that  '  the  Lamb  is  the  hght  thereof,' 
and  surely  the  Lamb  is  the  light  of  the  believer's  heart,  whilst  he 
anticipates  the  effulgence  of  the  upper  sanctuary.  Therefore,  since 
'the  Lord  is  my  light  and  my  salvation,'  I  am  not  greatly  concerned 
about  the  increasing  infirmities  of  a  tabernacle  so  nearly  dissolved ; 
nor  would  I  have  thee  anxious  about  me,  my  ever  faithful,  sympa- 
thizing friend.  How  pleasant  it  would  be  to  tell  thee  many  things 
which  I  cannot  now  attempt  to  narrate,  and  how  much  more  pleasant 
to  renew  the  Christian  fellowship  we  have  so  much  enjoyed!  Oh  ! 
that  our  Saviour's  love  may  attract  us  more  closely  to  Him  and  to 
each  other !  As  for  me,  dearest,  I  am  as  ever,  and  for  ever,  faith- 
fully thine." 

How  she  could  sympathize  with  the  same  privation  endured 
by  another,  the  prospect  of  which  she  could  so  cheerfully 
contemplate  herself,  the  letter  annexed  may  show ;  while  it 
indicates,  also,  her  readiness  to  avail  herself  of  every  avenue 
by  which  she  might  hope  to  reach  the  heart. 


1854.]  LETTERS.  565 

Extract  from  a  Letter  to  Mr.  ,  whose  eyes  were  long  seriously 

affected. 

"Greenwood,  May  14,  1854. 

[After  speaking  of  the  sunshine  of  the  blessed  Gospel  which  had 
so  long  cheered  her  heart,  she  continued  :] 

"  I  do  not  doubt  that  our  Heavenly  Father  has  deprived  you  of 
some  of  the  blessings  you  once  enjoyed,  that  you  might  be  induced 
to  direct  the  eye  of  faith  to  that  glorious  Sun  of  Righteousness  who 
shines  with  healing  in  His  wings,  upon  all  who  feel  that  their  souls 
are  sick,  and  apply  to  Him  for  restoration  and  comfort.  Oh  !  how 
dark  would  be  the  hour  of  death  and  the  day  of  judgment,  if  we 
were  to  encounter  them  in  an  unregenerate  condition. 

"  I  am  not  acquainted  with  your  feelings  upon  this  interesting 
subject,  but  I  do  earnestly  desire  that  you  may  be  'born  again,'  and 
be  filled  with  'joy  and  peace  in  believing.' 

"  I  wish  I  could  see  you.  May  the  Lord  bless  and  keep  you,  and 
may  your  eyes  be  perfectly  restored,  if  it  bo  His  will. 

"  Our  dear  mother  ever  lives  in  our  hearts,  for  '  the  memory  of 
the  just  is  blessed.'  How  simple  was  her  trust  in  the  Redeemer ! 
She  felt  that  she  was  a  sinner  who  needed  His  atoning  merits.  She 
accepted  them,  and  her  heart  was  glad. 

"  Believe  me,  very  afiectionately  and  prayerfully  yours-" 

To  Mrs.  B. 

"July  26,  1854. 
"I  have  asked  Him,  who  is  'the  Father  of  mercies  and  God  of  all 
comfort,'  to  give  me  something  out  of  the  treasury  of  His  grace  for 
my  truly  afflicted  friend.  It  is  a  privilege  to  speak  of  His  power  to 
sustain,  and  I  doubt  not  your  own  experience  testifies  that  it  is  a 
greater  to  realize  the  all-sufficiency  of  His  grace.  All-sufficiency  ! 
dear  Mrs.  B.  Does  not  this  word  just  meet  the  emergency  of  your 
case  ?  Could  any  other  than  an  Almighty  arm  uphold  you  in  this 
hour  of  deep  bereavement  ?  Can  any  tones  be  as  tender  as  those 
which  say,  'It  is  I !  Be  not  afraid'  ?  It  is  your  Father  in  Heaven 
who  will  satisfy  the  yearnings  of  filial  love ;  and  if,  indeed.  He  have 
given  you  '  the  Spirit  of  adoption,'  and  will  reveal  to  you  more  fully 
the  blessings  which  are  enclosed  in  the  covenant  of  grace,  you  will 
be  abundantly  consoled.  I  can  estimate  both  your  grief  and  your 
consolation  more  adequately,  because  I  have  heard  you  speak  of  your 
father's  exalted  worth. 

48 


566  LETTERS.  [1854. 

"  You  have  told  me  of  his  visits  to  the  sick  and  sorrowful,  of  his 
love  for  heavenly  things.  You  have  expressed  a  desire  that  I  should 
know  him.  But  you  did  not  know  how  soon  his  Christian  character 
would  be  perfected — how  soon  his  labors  of  love  would  be  exchanged 
for  the  service  of  God,  *  day  and  night,  in  His  temple' —  how  soon 
all  the  prayers  which  have  been  offered  for  this  dear  parent,  by  him- 
self and  all  who  loved  him,  would  receive  an  answer  exceeding  abun- 
dantly more  than  was  asked  or  thought. 

"  Oh !  do  be  thankful  that  he  has  gone  to  heaven,  dear  Mrs.  B. 
This  is  a  sinful,  weary  world,  and  though  I  know  not  how  to  speak 
of  celestial  happiness,  I  know  that  it  must  be  blessedness  indeed  to 
behold  the  glory  of  Jesus,  and  perfectly  to  reflect  His  holy  image. 

"I  need  not  say  that  I  have  prayed  for  your  stricken  family. 
•They  can  claim  some  promises  now  which  once  were  not  for  them. 
Oh  that  their  hearts  may  be  enlarged  to  receive  them  all,  and  their 
whole  lives  testify  to  the  faithfulness  of  God. 

"  Will  you  not  come  to  see  me  ere  very  long  ?  I  should  soon  has- 
ten to  you,  if  it  were  in  my  power.  Give  Mr.  B.  an  assurance  of 
my  sympathy  for  him,  for  I  am  sure  he  needs  comfort  also.  He 
talked  to  me  of  your  father  with  so  much  pleasure  and  affection. 

"  With  how  much  interest  I  have  thought  of  your  poor  sick  sister  ! 
but  '  the  Lord  is  very  pitiful,  and  of  tender  mercy.' 

''  Believe  me,  more  than  ever,  your  truly  affectionate  friend." 

To  Dr.  . 

"July  22,  1854. 

"  I  thank  you  so  very  affectionately,  dear  Dr.  ,  for  the  exqui- 
site picture  which  has  surprised  and  delighted  me  so  wuch.  I  shall 
not  soon  forget  the  feeUngs  it  awakened.     The  lines  — 

'  Saints  in  glory  perfect  made, 

Wait  thy  passage  through  the  shade  ; 
See  they  throng  the  blissful  shore, 
Ardent  for  thy  coming  o'er. 

'  To  their  longing  wish  be  given, 

Kindle  higher  joys  in  Heaven; 

Mount,  their  transports  to  improve, 

Join  the  longing  choir  above,' 

had  often  been  in  my  thoughts  during  the  past  few  days,  and  '  The 
Vision  of  a  Believer'  accorded  well  with  the  earnest  aspirations  of 
my  soul. 


1854.J  LETTERS.  567 

"  It  is  not  presumptuous  for  a  sinner  who  lias  "been  washed  in  the 
blood  of  the  Redeemer,  and  consoled  by  His  Holy  Spirit,  to  expect 
such  happiness  ^as  this.  It  is  '  to  the  praise  of  the  glory  of  His 
grace'  that  we  are  '  accepted  in  the  Beloved.'  In  the  enjoyment  of 
such  sweet  hopes,  '  in  the  confidence  of  a  certain  faith,'  I  am  glad  to 
accept  the  cheering  companionship  of  your  beautiful  picture,  which 
is  suspended  above  my  mantel."     * 


*     * 


To  tlie  same. 

"■ '  Wilberforce's  Practical  View'  is  one  of  my  favorite  books,  dear 

Dr. ,  and  1  offer  it  to  your  acceptance  as  an  expression  of  some 

of  my  very  many  thoughts  of  affection. 

"I  remember  your  visit  of  yesterday  with  pleasure,  and  wish  it- 
were  my  privilege  to  enjoy  frequent  opportunities  of  intercourse. 
May  our  Father  in  Heaven  grant  that  you,  in  all  the  responsibilities 
of  active  life,  and  I,  in  the  comparative  seclusion  of  the  chamber  of 
sickness,  may  possess  a  pilgrim,  earth-weaned  spirit,  and  so  be- 
lievingly  appropriate  the  strength  and  righteousness  of  our  Re- 
deemer, that  we  shall  continually  rejoice  in  Him,  and  glorify  His 
name.  May  He  also  vouchsafe  that  each  member  of  your  beloved 
and  interesting  family  '  may  so  pass  through  things  temporal,  that 
they  finally  lose  not  the  things  eternal.'  " 

To  the  Author. 

"July  12,  1854. 

"I  have  had  many  kind  thoughts  of  you,  dear  Bishop  Lee, 
thoughts  both  of  sympathy  and  gratitude ;  but  until  now  I  could 
not  conveniently  express  them.  I  felt  greatly  tempted  to  write  to 
you  after  the  startling  event  in  which  you  and  yours  received  so  sig- 
nal a  manifestation  that  you  are  cared  for  by  our  Heavenly  Father, 
and  then,  when  you  so  promptly  replied  to  my  note  of  inquiry,  I 
wished  to  express  my  appreciation  of  your  kindness;  and  now,  I 
must  thank  you  also  for  the  truly  acceptable  offerings  which  were 

conveyed  to  me  by  Miss .     I  hope  to  send  them  on  many  a 

missionary  tour.  I  listened  to  the  Charge  with  almost  as  much  in- 
terest as  I  should  have  done  if  I  had  been  one  of  those  especially 
addressed.  Oh,  that  your  counsel  may  sink  deep  into  the  hearts  of 
those  who  have  assumed  the  solemn  responsibilities  of  ministerial  life. 

"  I  am  very  glad  you  have  written  a  work  on  Baptism.  *  My  ear 
is  pained,  my  soul  is  sick,'  with  the  increasing  prevalence  of  the 


568  LETTERS.  [1854. 

doctrines  you  oppose.  Sister  has  not  yet  finished  reading  your  work 
aloud,  but  it  has  already  excited  feelings  of  pleasure  and  approba- 
tion. 

"Were  you  not  very  much  pleased  with  my  friend,  Mr. ? 

I  do  not  know  that  I  have  ever  met  any  one  who  seems  to  be  more 
deeply  imbued  with  the  love  of  our  Hedeemer  as  the  principle  and 
impulse  of  his  whole  character. 

"  We  have  had  several  services  in  my  room,  and  the  larger  cham- 
ber which  adjoins  it,  within  a  few  weeks  past,  and  I  have  often 
wished  that  I  could  make  you  the  centre  of  such  a  circle.  This 
pleasure  I  cannot  expect,  but  cherish  the  anticipation  of  a  visit  from 
you  ere  very  long.  My  physical  ailments  are  increasing,  and  with 
them  the  joyful  hope  that  I  shall  soon  experience  the  fulfilment  of 
the  promise,  '  thine  eye  shall  see  the  King  in  His  beauty.' 

"  Believe  me,  dear  Bishop ,  with  most  affectionate  regard." 

To  a  Friend. 

"  August  9,  1854. 

*  *  *  a  That  the  Holy  Spirit  has  induced  you  to  seek  the 
blessing  of  our  dearest  Friend,  is  to  me  a  source  of  unfailing  satis- 
faction. I  trust  you  will  be  satisfied  with  no  ordinary  gifts  of 
heavenly  grace.  Press  toward  the  mark,  dear  M.  Archbishop 
Leighton  has  said  that  'Jesus  is  to  the  believer  both  the  principle 
and  pattern  of  holiness,'  and  you  must  connect  this  thought  with 
every  spiritual  aspiration.  I  am  glad  you  are  not  disposed  to  enter 
into  the  frivolities  of  fashionable  life,  since  time  is  too  precious  for 
these  pursuits,  and  yours  is  a  better  portion.  Oh,  that  we  led  a  more 
hidden  life  —  that  we  lived  more  upon  the  fulness  of  Christ !" 

To  Rev.  R.  S. 

"1854. 

"  My  slate  was  brought  to  me  long  since,  that  I  might  at  least 
commence  a  letter  to  you,  but  I  felt  disposed  to  linger  a  little  while 
over  some  words  of  Holy  Writ,  and  when  I  read,  '  He  telleth  the 
number  of  the  stars ;  He  calleth  them  all  by  their  names,  the 
thought  recurred  that  the  immortal  beings,  in  the  neglected  neigh- 
borhood in  which  you  labor,  are  more  valued  by  our  Father  in 
Heaven  than  the  beautiful  but  soulless  creatures  of  His  power.  It 
has  always  been  my  encouragement  that  they  are  so  very  precious  in 
His  sight,  that  our  Redeemer  has  shed  His  blood  for  their  redemp- 
tion, and  that  it  is  His  will,  His  purpose,  that  this  glad  tidings  shall 
be  earnestly,  affectionately  proclaimed. 


1854.]  LETTERS.  569 

"Thore  is  a  promise,  too,  that  'In  every  place  incense  shall  be 
oftered  unto  His  name  and  a  pure  offerina;.'  It  will  be,  oh  !  that  it 
were  now  fulfilled  in  Bucks  County !  Oh,  that  the  name  of  Jesus 
were  as  ointment  poured  forth  upon  these  people !  It  would  give 
them  life,  they  would  'go  on  their  way  rejoicing.'  "     *     *     * 

The  three  remaining  letters  derive  a  peculiar  and  mourn- 
ful interest  from  being  the  last  indited  bj  their  warm- 
hearted and  gifted  author.  They  form  a  fitting  conclusion 
of  that  series  of  "missives  of  affection"  which  had  been  the 
channel  of  so  much  faithful  counsel  and  outg-ushinff  love. 
How  replete  are  they  with  vivid  sympathy,  intense  tender- 
ness and  the  full  assurance  of  hope  !  prompted  by  a  spirit 
just  ready  to  wing  its  flight  to  glory.  And  how  much  life, 
pathos,  beauty  and  expressiveness  in  the  style  !  "Apples  of 
gold  in  pictures  of  silver."  Heavenly  consolation,  hallowed 
affection  conveyed  as  with  an  angel's  tongue  ! 

On  the  Death  of  a  Child. 

"August  23,  1854. 

"  There  is  more  music  in  Heaven,  now  that  little  Alice  is  there, 
and  I  trust  deeper  '  melody  in  your  hearts  unto  the  Lord,'  dear 
Howard  and  Ellen.  Another  echo  of  our  Redeemer's  words,  '  It  is 
finished.'  Another  evidence  that  the  '  Son  of  God  was  manifested 
to  destroy  the  works  of  the  devil.'  Another  joy  in  the  heart  of  Him 
who  endured  so  much  for  our  redemption,  and  who  is  'satisfied'  in 
the  glory  which  is  given  to  the  Father  in  His  name,  and  in  the  per- 
fect happiness  which  His  sufferings  and  obedience  have  secured. 

"  It  is  clear  sunshine  which  shows  us  such  a  prospect  as  this. 
Blessed,  and  submissive  and  peaceful  is  the  heart  which  beholds  it. 
I  know  full  well  that  there  are  soundings  of  the  heart  in  the  hour 
of  bereavement  which  prove  how  deep  are  its  well-springs  of  affec- 
tion ;  and  that  these  waters  flow  out  in  gushing  tenderness  towards 
the  younglings  of  your  household,  I  can  well  understand,  for  I  love 
children  with  something  which  must  be  a  little  like  parental  affec- 
tion. And  then,  too,  the  bud  you  wore  in  your  bosoms  was  so 
beautiful,  that  I  do  not  wonder  that  you  waited  for  its  expansion  with 
eager  expectation.  It  is  now  planted  in  the  house  of  our  God,  and 
when  you  see  it  again,  your  low  notes  of  gladness  that  it  has  been 

48* 


570  LETTERS.  [1854. 

removed  to  a  more  genial  soil  will  rise  to  a  rapturous  song  of  thanks- 
giving. 

"  Upon  your  own  souls,  and  upon  3'0\ir  spiritual  charge,  I  trust 
the  dews  of  Heavenly  grace  will  richly  descend.  Such  were  the 
results  of  similar  events  in  Dr.  Clark's  family.  I  wish  I  could  tell 
you  what  messengers  of  mercy  were  his  little  children,  but  I  must 
not  say  much  more.     I  would  love  to  be  with  you.     *     *     * 

"Please  give  a  kiss  of  love  to  each  one  of  the  dear  children,  and 
tell  them  Cousin  Sue  wishes  them  to  give  their  hearts  to  Jesus 
now. 

"  With  most  affectionate  sympathy,  believe  me,  your  friend  and 
cousin." 

To  her  JSflece. 

"  August  30,  1854. 

"  There  is  a  shaded  and  pleasant  chamber  in  Hamilton  to  which 
the  thoughts  of  dear  Nellie  sometimes  revert;  and  no  wonder,  for 
there  is  her  own  Aunt  Sue,  whom  she  has  loved  from  her  earliest 
childhood,  and  whose  own  physical  inOrmities  have  alone  prevented 
her  from  being  the  faithful  attendant  of  her  poor  stricken  child. 

"■ '  Surely,  Aunt  Sue  must  pity  me  now.'  She  does,  darling,  very 
much ;  and  is  only  reconciled  to  thy  long  and  painful  illness  by  the 
assurance  that  it  is  our  Father's  will  —  the  discipline  which  He  has 
wisely  connected  with  His  purposes  of  mercy.  It  is  discipline, 
Nellie.  There  is  no  intrinsic  attractiveness  in  pain,  languor  and  the 
withdrawal  of  many  sources  of  enjoyment.  A  chronic  case  of  sick- 
ness brings  with  it  many  trials  which  experience  only  can  fully  esti- 
mate.    But  — 

'  There  is  a  secret  in  the  ways  of  God, 
With  His  own  children,  which  none  others  know, 
That  sweetens  all  lie  does.' 

"  It  has  come  into  my  heart  to  bear  testimony  to  His  great  love, 
His  very  tender  mercy  to  me,  who  have  been  so  necessitous,  and  yet 
so  unworthy.  When  I  say,  '  Thy  will  be  done,'  I  often  add,  *  I 
bless  Thee  for  having  done,  for  doing  Thy  will.'  It  is  humiliating 
that  we  require  so  much  chastisement,  but  a  very  great  blessing  to 
receive  it.  It  is  more  humiliating  to  realize  that  we  learn  so  slowly 
the  lessons  which  our  Father  condescends  to  teach ;  but  very  con- 
soling to  plead  the  promise,  '  I  will  purely  purge  away  thy  dross,  and 
take  away  all  thy  tin.' 

"  When  we  consider  the  unsullied  holiness  of  Heaven,  and  the 


1854.]  LETTERS.  571 

earthly  tendency,  the  entire  demerit  of  our  nature,  we  receive  meekly 
the  declaration,  '  We  must,  through  much  tribulation,  enter  the 
Kingdom  of  God.'  We  are  conscious  that  we  have  incurred  the 
penalty  of  eternal  woe,  and  whilst  we  thankfully  accept  the  gift  of 
absolute  pardon,  through  the  merits  of  the  Lamb,  we  rejoice  that 
Jesus  is  our  'sanctificatioa'  also,  and  feel  assured  that  as  mercy  and 
truth  have  met  together  in  the  scheme  of  our  reconciliation  to  our 
Maker,  they  will  not  be  separated  even  for  a  moment,  until  they  lead 
from  grace  to  glory.  Oh  !  how  we  shall  adore  this  combination 
then  ! 

"  There  are  peculiar  opportunities  for  improvement  in  the  cham- 
ber of  sickness.  Christian  principle  is  tested,  even  by  a  distasteful 
draught,  by  submission  to  the  regulations  of  physician  and  friends, 
by  continually  recurring  necessity  for  self-denial  in  food,  the  enjoy- 
ment of  exercise,  and  often  of  intellectual  pleasures.  Sometimes 
stern  duty  tells  us  we  must  sleep  when  we  would  think ;  and  at 
others  we  must  be  patiently  and  cheerfully  awake,  when  we  would 
gladly  slumber.  Is  this  an  ignoble  conflict  ?  Surely  not.  It  is 
worthy  of  the  whole  Christian  armor.  It  requires  it  all,  since  we 
may  please  our  Father  in  Heaven  by  docility  of  spirit  in  little  things, 
and  it  is  by  thera  that  character  is,  in  a  great  measure,  formed.  What 
a  spiritual  tonic  I  have  found  in  the  11th  and  12th  verses  of  the  first 
chapter  of  Colossians  !  Think  of  the  company  who  have  gone  before 
us,  dear  Nellie. 

"  My  letter  is  already  long,  but  I  would  gladly  have  it  longer,  if 
it  were  not  late.     *     *     * 

"  Ever,  with  warm  and  true  aflfection,  thy  own 

"Aunt  Sue." 

A  Missive  of  Affection y  to  he  read  at  leisure. 

"  My  darling  :  —  I  have  been  enabled  to  give  thanks  and  to  pray 
for  you  with  unusual  wingedness  of  devotion  this  morning  *  *  * 
and  I  will  indulge  the  earnest  prompting  of  Christian  aSection  which 
urges  the  pencilship  of  a  little  note. 

"  '  The  outward  man  perisheth.'  Every  physical  sensibility  is  in- 
creasingly acute,  and  I  feel  that  the  intensity  of  natural  and  spiritual 
affection  is  awakened  to  more  vigorous  action.  '  Blessed  be  the 
Father  of  mercies  and  God  of  all  comfort,'  that  my  soul  reposes.  It 
rests  in  the  love  of  Jesus — in  His  perfect  righteousness,  which,  not- 
withstanding all  the  objections  a  diluted  theology  would  urge,  I  fear 
not  to  say,  is  impnted  to  vie. 


572  LETTERS.  [1854. 

"I  am  'accepted  in  the  Beloved/  and  therefore  I  do  not  fear, 
thou2;h  I  feel  myself  to  be  most  unworthy  of  exemption  from  eternal 
banishment — most  unworthy  to  behold  forever  the  beauty  of  the  Lord 
in  His  Upper  Sanctuary. 

''  My ,  let  us  know  nothing  but  Jesus  Christ,  and  'Him  cru- 
cified. We  have  found  Him  a  precious  Saviour — you,  in  the  strength 
of  your  manhood,  in  the  sunshine  of  worldly  prosperity — I,  amid  the 
almost  exhausted  energies  of  a  long  exhausting  constitution  —  both 
of  us  in  the  deep  necessities  of  our  intellectual  and  spiritual  aspira- 
tions, and  in  bereavement  we  could  not  have  borne  if  He  had  not 
been  with  us. 

"  We  shall  always  find  Him  a  precious  Saviour,  for  we  are  enclosed 
in  a  covenant  '  ordered  in  all  things  and  sure.'  '  Jesus  having  loved 
His  own,  loved  them  unto  the  end.'  'I  have  loved  thee  with  an 
everlasting  love,  therefore  with  loving-kindness  have  I  drawn  thee.' 

"  We  were  chosen  that  we  might  be  '  holy  and  without  blame  be- 
fore Him  in  love.'  Oh  that  we  may  ever  thus  prove  our  adoption 
into  the  family  of  faith  ! 

'*  If  I  go  to  Heaven  before  you,  as  I  trust  I  shall,  and  perhaps 
very  soon,  I  will  await  your  coming,  and  welcome  you  with  joy  which 
will  be  irradiated  by  the  smile  of  our  Saviour.  Our  blessed,  glorified 
— ■ — ,  who  has  already  tuned  so  many  notes  of  angelic  praise,  will 
sound  a  new  vibration — I  do  not  know  that  it  will  be  louder,  but  it 
will  be  deep  and  very  melodious. 

"  Press  on  then  in  the  battle-field  of  life.  '  Put  on  the  whole  armor 
of  God.'  Dare,  do  and  sufi"er;  but  always  rest  upon  the  finished 
work  of  Jesus  —  always  repose  beneath  the  shadow  of  His  wings  — 
always  pray  for  grace  to  understand  the  doctrines,  obey  the  precepts 
and  plead  the  promises  of  the  Word  of  God. 

"  I  will  include,  in  my  supplications,  the  blessings  you  will  require 
when  I  shall  not  be  here  to  pray  for  you ;  even  those  you  will  need 
in  a  dying  hour,  or  rather  the  hour  in  which  death  shall  be  a  pass- 
ing shadow  which  the  '  bright  and  morning  star'  shall  chase  away 
for  ever. 

"Your  Sue." 


CHAPTER   XXVI. 

1854. 

Relative  Value  of  the  Living  and  Dying  Witness  —  The  Event  in  Con- 
stant Prospect — Increasing  Debility — The  Summer  of  1854  —  Inci- 
dents of  the  Last  Weeks  of  her  Life  —  Final  Communion — Closing 
Scene  —  Funeral — Address  and  Sermon. 

It  is  with  feelings  of  reverence  and  awe  that  we  approach 
the  closing  scene  of  Susan  Allibone's  holy  life.  As  wo  enter 
the  chamber,  so  soon  to  be  finally  deserted  by  its  suffering 
occupant,  we  seem  to  hear  the  voice  which  spake  to  Moses 
from  the  bush :  "  Put  off  thy  shoes  from  off  thy  feet,  for  the 
place  whereon  thou  standest  is  holy  ground."  The  bush  had 
indeed  been  burning,  yet  unconsumed,  for  many  long  years, 
because  the  great  "I  am,"  "the  God  of  Abraham,  of  Isaac 
and  of  Jacob,"  dwelt  therein.  After  contemplating  with 
gratitude  and  praise  to  her  unseen  Sustainer,  her  "  work  of 
faith,  and  labor  of  love,  and  patience  of  hope  in  our  Lord 
Jesus  Christ,"  we  are  now  brought  to  watch  the  final  struggle 
of  the  soul  panting  to  be  free. 

Such  a  life  as  we  have  been  reviewing  needed  no  closing 
testimony  to  assure  us  that  it  hath  issued  in  the  splendors  of 
eternal  day.  Unto  her,  evidently,  "to  live  was  Christ;" 
and  no  one  that  knew  her  could  for  a  moment  doubt  that 
"to  die  was  gain ;"  that  a  spirit  so  bathed  in  heaven's  light, 
even  while  sojourning  below,  was  now  rejoicing  in  the  radi- 
ance shed  upon  the  eternal  city  by  the  Lamb  who  is  the  Light 
thereof. 

Had  physical  pain  and  weakness  so  overpowered  the  mani- 
festations of  spiritual  emotion,  that  not  one  word  of  exultation 
and  triumph  had  marked  her  parting  hours,  it  would  have 

(573) 


574  REMARKS.  [1854. 

been  no  reason  for  the  shadow  of  doubt  respecting  her  "  abun- 
dant entrance  into  the  everlasting  kingdom."  There  is  a 
tendency  often  manifested  to  reverse  the  relative  importance 
of  the  life-conflict  and  the  death-scene,  to  concentrate  atten- 
tion upon  the  latter,  and  lightly  regard  the  former.  Whereas 
death  is  but  the  termination  of  life,  the  goal  at  the  end  of 
the  race.  And  the  manner  in  which  the  race  has  been  run 
is  the  best  and  strongest  evidence  that  the  crown  of  right- 
eousness is  secured.  To  "  die  in  the  Lord"  is  the  last  act 
of  living  in  the  Lord,  and  "  whatsoever  a  man  soweth  that 
shall  he  also  reap."  Neither  are  instances  wanting  of  per- 
sons of  eminent  piety  passing  away  from  earth  under  clouds 
of  darkness,  induced  it  might  be  by  bodily  derangement,  dis- 
tressing and  painful  to  witness,  and  yet  not  at  all  weakening 
the  conviction  that  their  change  was  a  blessed  one. 

In  Miss  Allibone's  case  it  would  have  seemed  of  less  mo- 
ment ha^  there  been  no  remarkable  outbreak  of  joy  and  hope, 
just  at  the  time  when  the  silver  cord  was  loosed  and  the 
golden  bowl  broken,  because  she  had  so  frequently  before,  in 
her  own  opinion  and  that  of  her  friends,  been  lying  on  the 
verge  of  eternity.  More  than  once  had  they  assembled 
around  what  was  supposed  to  be  her  death-bed.  The  pro- 
longation of  her  existence,  from  year  to  year,  had  been  a 
surprise  and  marvel.  She  had  accustomed  herself  to  look 
upon  death  as  near  at  hand  since  the  first  serious  attacks  of 
her  malady.  Hers  was  in  fact  a  lingering  dissolution  of 
twenty  years'  duration  ;  and  during  this  whole  period  she  was 
bearing,  as  it  were,  a  dying  testimony  to  the  faithfulness  of 
her  covenant  God.  And  this  would  have  filled  her  friends 
with  confidence  and  hope,  had  her  actual  passage  into  the 
eternal  world  been  too  sudden  or  too  much  oppressed  with 
pain  and  languor,  to  have  allowed  her  to  speak  a  word  of 
joyful  assurance  or  affectionate  consolation. 

But  while  the  absence  of  a  bright,  exulting  passage  through 
the  valley  of  the  shadow  of  death  ought  not  to  have  caused  a 


1854.]  THE    SUMMER    OF   185  4.  575 

moment's  distress  or  disappointment,  it  is  cause  of  exceeding 
thankfulness  that  this  too  was  not  withheld.  The  God  whom 
she  served  so  faithfully  gave  her,  at  the  last,  the  consciousness 
of  his  favorable  presence.  She  felt  the  power  of  his  sustain- 
ing arm,  the  comfort  of  his  rod  and  staff.  When  heart  and 
flesh  were  failing.  He  was  the  strength  of  her  heart.  She 
passed  out  of  the  world,  as  she  passed  through  it,  "  leaning 
on  her  Beloved."  The  Saviour,  who  through  so  many  yeara 
of  suffering  had  been  near  and  precioiis  to  her  soul,  was  still 
more  sensibly  near  and  precious  Avhile  taking  her  to  Himself. 
And  thus  was  she  permitted  to  glorify  Him  with  her  parting 
breath,  and  to  render  thanks  to  God  Avhich  giveth  us  the  vic- 
tory through  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ. 

The  oppressive  heat  of  the  summer  of  1854  greatly  pros- 
trated Miss  Allibone's  remaining  strength,  and  her  pain  and 
inability  to  take  sufficient  food  increased.  Her  sufferings 
were  endured  with  undiminished  cheerfulness,  and  she  hailed 
new  symptoms  of  debility  with  grateful  joy  as  harbingers  of 
the  approaching  release.  Although  not  unfrequently  sinking 
to  the  verge  of  dissolution,  she  still  refused  all  relief  from 
stimulants  of  an  intoxicating  or  stupefying  character.  She 
made  it  a  matter  of  conscience  to  avoid  whatever  might  cloud 
or  disturb  her  mental  faculties,  or  interfere  with  the  lifting 
up  of  her  soul  to  God,  preferring,  as  she  said,  to  depend  on 
supplies  of  spiritual  strength. 

During  this  period  she  greatly  enjoyed  occasional  devo- 
tional meetings  in  her  apartment,  conducted  by  clerical 
friends.  She  also  completed  a  task  which  afforded  her  much 
pleasure  —  the  arrangement  of  parallel  and  illustrative  texts 
upon  the  110th  Psalm,  a  work  which  will  prove  an  interesting 
and  useful  little  volume.  To  a  friend  who  visited  her,  she 
said  that  "her  happiness  was  of  a  more  quiet,  subdued  char- 
acter than  it  had  sometimes  been,  but  more  solid  and  satisfy- 
ing than  ever."  She  spoke  of  "the  perfect  assurance  which 
she  enjoyed  of  being  admitted  to  the  heavenly  world,  and 


576  CONVERSATION.  [1854. 

said  there  was  a  time  when  she  would  have  thought  such 
assurance  presumption,  but  when  we  placed  all  our  hopes  in 
the  Lord  Jesus,  and  drew  our  sole  title  from  Him,  we  could 
not  be  too  bold."  She  spoke  also  of  the  importance  of  cul- 
tivating meekness  and  humility  in  our  Christian  character, 
and  of  the  inseparable  connection  of  these  two  graces.  She 
dwelt  upon  the  difficulty,  yet  the  absolute  necessity  of  over- 
coming self,  if  we  would  grow  in  the  likeness  of  our  Saviour, 
and  was  much  delighted  with  the  remark  which  was  repeated 
to  her,  that  "  Heaven  was  very  near.  There  were  but  three 
steps  to  it:  Out  of  self,  into  Christ,  into  glory."  While 
speaking  of  those  we  hoped  to  meet  in  Heaven,  she  repeated 
the  lines : — 

"  'Tis  sweet  as,  year  by  year,  we  lose 
Friends  out  of  sight,  by  faith  to  muse, 
IIow  grows  in  Paradise  our  store ;" 

and  seemed  to  derive  great  pleasure  from  the  thought,  that 
instead  of  the  brief  infrequent  seasons  of  Christian  inter- 
course, we  should  have  an  eternity  to  spend  together.  With 
touching  emphasis,  she  repeated  the  hymn  :  — 

Come,  let  us  join  our  friends  above 

Who  have  obtained  the  prize, 
And  on  the  wings  of  faith  and  love, 

To  joys  celestial  rise." 

"  I  still  seem  to  hear  the  tones  in  which  she  recited : — 

"  Dear  Saviour,  be  our  constant  guide, 
And  when  the  word  is  given. 
Bid  the  cold  waves  of  death  divide, 
And  land  us  safe  in  Heaven." 

"During  this  conversation,"  continues  her  friend,  "I  was 
struck,  as  I  have  often  been  before,  with  her  faith  in  the 
Bible,  or  rather  in  the  mighty  power  of  the  Holy  Ghost. 
Before  we  parted,  I  knelt  beside  her  bed  while  she  prayed 
with  me.  Her  prayers  were  like  the  breathings  of  the  disciple 
who  leaned  on  Jesus'  bosom.     So  child-like,  so  believing,  so 


1854.]  HER    LAST    COMMUNION.  577 

assured  of  being  heard  and  answered  through  Him  who  '  ever 
liveth  to  make  intercession  for  us.'  The  more  closely  she 
approached  the  Divine  presence,  and  the  more  near  and  inti- 
mate her  communion  with  the  Saviour,  the  more  penetrated 
did  she  appear  with  holy  awe  and  reverence.  Yet  her  peti- 
tions were  as  minute  and  particular  as  those  of  a  child  asking 
favors  of  an  earthly  parent.  At  last  the  time  for  separation 
came,  and  we  scarcely  knew  how  to  part ;  yet  there  was  none 
of  the  sadness  of  a  last  farewell  in  her  affectionate  '  Good- 
bye,' although  she  held  me  in  a  longer  and  closer  embrace 
than  usual.  After  I  had  left  the  room,  I  heard  her  clear 
voice  calling  me  back,  —  'Don't  you  want  a  text?'  she  said. 
*  Well,  I  will  give  you  one  of  mine :  "  Thou,  0  God,  art  a 
shield  for  me,  my  glory  and  the  lifter-up  of  my  head."  ' 

On  Thursday,  September  7th,  for  the  last  time  as  it  proved, 
the  holy  Communion  was  administered  to  her  by  the  Rev.  Dr. 
May.  It  was  a  season  of  peculiar  interest  and  solemnity, 
although  it  was  not  imagined  that  this  would  be  the  last 
family  gathering  to  partake  with  the  beloved  invalid  of  the 
memorials  of  redemption.  Very  refreshing  and  delightful 
had  these  occasions  always  proved  to  her,  and  she  dwelt  with 
much  satisfaction  upon  the  comfort  and  happiness  now  expe- 
rienced in  the  remembrance  of  a  dying  Saviour's  love,  and 
desired  special  thanks  to  be  returned  for  it  in  the  quiet 
meeting  for  prayer  in  her  room  on  Friday.  But  during  the 
morning  of  that  day  she  suddenly  became  so  extremely  weak 
as  to  awaken  much  alarm  in  those  around  her.  To  a  friend 
who  called  to  see  her,  she  said :  "  Oh !  I  'm  inexpressibly 
happy.  Inexpressibly  !"  She  spoke  of  her  satisfaction  that 
she  had  no  worldly  concerns  to  distract  her  attention,  nor 
anything  else. 

To  another  she  remarked :   "  Oh  !  I  am  so  thankful  for  a 

religion  of  assurance    and   an   unmerited  salvation.     What 

would  I  have  done  of  myself,  confined  for  years  to  a  couch 

of  suffering  and  so  extremely  weak  !"    "  I  thought,"  said  her 

2  m  49 


578  HEAVEN    WIDE    OPEN.  [1854. 

friend,  "  liow  lew  ever  equalled  her  usefulness,  though  blessed 
with  health." 

A  cousin,  whose  visit  had  been  eagerly  anticipated,  thus 
relates  the  interview  :  "  When  I  entered  she  smiled  sweetly, 
and  whispered,  '  Cousin,  dearest,  I  knew  thee  would  come.  I 
am  so  very  happy  !  The  prospect  is  so  delightful !'  Soon 
after,  '  How  well  I  have  nothing  to  do  I  that  nothing  can  be 
added  to  Christ's  finished  work  !  Oh,  how  free  a  salvation  ! 
How  utterly  unworthy  am  I !'  I  said,  '  Redeemed  !'  With 
a  beaming  face  she  responded,  '  Yes  !  yes  !  redeemed,  washed, 
being  sanctified.'  '  Soon  to  be  glorified,'  said  I;  and  added, 
'  I  am  willing,  dear  one,  to  let  thee  go.'  With  a  look  full  of 
gratitude,  she  whispered,  '  I  am  so  glad,  and  it  will  be  such 
a  little  while,  dear,  kind  cousin.  Oh,  what  a  friend  thee  has 
been,  and  is  and  will  be  !  I  do  not  like  have  loved.  We  do, 
we  will  always  love.'  Intervals  of  silent  prayer  and  laborious 
breathing  between  her  remarks. 

"  '  I  will  that  they  also  whom  thou  hast  given  me  be  with 
me  where  I  am.'  '  Cousin,  I  have  been  meditating  on  this. 
To  be  admitted  into  the  presence  of  the  King  of  kings  !  An 
introduction  to  an  earthly  monarch  is  spoken  of  as  much,  but 
to  "  behold  His  glory  !"  I  have  been  dwelling  for  days  on 
our  Saviour's  prayer,  and  have  come  to  the  last  verse.  Oh, 
how  wide  open  heaven  is  to  all  believers  !'  I  repeated,  'In 
my  Father's  house  are  many  mansions  ;'  adding,  '  One  is  pre- 
pared for  thee,  dearest.'  She  assented  eagerly,  adding, 
'  Why  do  we  not  ask  great  things,  when  He  so  freely  gives  ?' 
and  repeated  — 

'  Thou  art  coming  to  a  King, 
'  Large  petitions  with  thee  bring.' 

"  Her  invaluable  nurse  coming  in,  she  whispered  :  '  Sarah 
is  so  devoted  —  will  n*t  spare  herself;  all  are  so  kind,  so 
self-forgetting  !  Dear  cousin,  I  cannot  desire  with  Leighton 
to  die  at  an  inn.  I  love  to  leave  for  heaven,  surrounded  by 
my  friends.'     I  remarked,  '  The  joyful  expectation  of  being 


1854.]  A    PARTING    INTERVIEW.  579 

with  so  many  of  thine  there  is  the  reason,  perhaps.'    Joyfully, 
'Yes !  yes !' 

"While  giving  her  nourishment  I  remarked :  'Dear  Susan, 
it  is  hard  to  strengthen  the  bars  of  the  cage,  Tvhcn  the  pris- 
oner is  panting  to  be  free.'  She  smiled  and  answered : 
'  There  can  be  no  real  tediousness  in  any  of  my  Father's 
doings.'  She  told  me  at  length  of  her  enjoyment  of  the 
Communion  a  few  days  previously ;  spoke  of  our  Liturgy  as 
such  an  aid  to  devotion  ;  how  the  language  of  the  prayers 
arose  to  mind  under  any  agitation  or  emotion,  evincing  their 
suitableness  to  express  strong  feeling.  She  remarked :  '  If 
I  did  not  know  in  whom  I  believed,  my  dying  pillow  would 
be  thorny.  I  feel  no  anxiety,  no  doubt,  although  I  con-- 
stantly  ask  to  be  kept  from  presumption.  How  Christ  is  dis- 
honored by  doubts  and  fears !  Cousin,  I  must  talk  to  thee 
and  tell  thee  how  I  feel.     So  glad  !     So  happy !' 

"  If  any  one  were  named,  her  eyes  were  closed,  her  hands 
clasped,  and  I  believe  in  every  instance  prayer  oifered  for 
them.  Then  loving,  exhorting  messages  were  sent ;  for  the 
love  of  Christ  was  so  shed  abroad  in  her  heart  that  it  glowed 
towards  every  one.  She  repeated  the  hymn,  '  Deathless  Prin- 
ciple, arise,'  entirely  through. 

"The  buoyancy  of  the  caged  spirit,  the  decaying  earthly 
house,  the  weakness,  the  strength,  the  perishing  outer,  the 
renewed  inner  man,  cannot  be  portrayed  or  ever  forgotten. 
It  was  good  to  be  there.  She  prayed  aflectingly  for  me,  that 
'  all  alleviations  to  suffering  might  be  o-ranted,  that  God  would 
be  my  portion  when  heart  and  flesh  failed' — adding,  '  He  will 
be.'  Then,  my  hand  in  hers,  her  eyes  looking  their  last  of 
earthly  love  on  me,  slowly,  distinctly  she  repeated  (as  an  ad- 
dress to  me,)  the  121st  Psalm." 

On  Saturday,  a  beautiful  bouquet  of  flowers  was  sent  her. 
She  gazed  upon  it  with  much  delight,  and  sent  a  message  to 
the  donor  that  she  appreciated  his  gift,  and  hoped  he  would 
enjoy  unfading  flowers,  as  she  soon  expected  to.     After  she 


580  THE    CHOSEN    TEXT.  [1854. 

became  very  ill,  she  requested  the  roses,  geranium  and  ever- 
green to  be  brought  to  her,  and  for  the  last  time  arranged 
them.  It  seemed  a  farewell,  but  without  sadness,  to  the 
sweet  companions  of  her  pilgrimage,  so  associated  with  her 
memory,  like  every  thing  lovely  and  pleasant. 

To  another  friend  who  visited  her,  she  said :  "  I  have 
always  loved  you.  I  wish  you  knew  how  happy  I  am.  I 
shall  be  saved  through  the  righteousness  of  Christ.  Don't 
be  sorrowful.  I  hope  we  shall  meet  in  Heaven."  Then 
pointing  to  her  friend's  dress,  "  There  will  be  no  sable  robes 

there."     To  Miss ,  who  had  lost  her  parents,  she  said  : 

"Although  you  are  alone,  you  need  never  feel  lonely."  To 
another  friend  who  had  lost  a  child,  she  remarked :  "  Some- 
times the  Shepherd  takes  away  the  lamb,  that  the  sheep  may 
follow  after." 

On  Saturday  night,  at  the  weekly  gathering  for  prayer  in 
her  room,  consisting  usually  of  relatives  and  the  domestics  of 
the  family,  she  called,  as  was  her  wont,  upon  each  person 
present  to  repeat  a  hymn  or  verse  of  Scripture,  and  then 
repeated  as  her  own  text :  "  Having  a  desire  to  depart  and  to 
be  with  Christ." 

She  directed  her  nephew's  attention  to  the  passage  in 
"  Thoughts  of  Peace,"  which  she  kept  on  the  bed  by  her  — 

"  When  the  spark  of  life  is  waning, 
Weep  not  for  me." 

A  short  time  after,  to  the  text  (Ps.  xvii.  15) :  "  I  shall  be 
satisfied  when  I  awake  with  Thy  likeness."  On  the  margin 
she  had  written  :  "  I  shall  soon  be  satisfied." 

To  a  sister,  who  could  not  conceal  her  grief  at  the  prospect 
of  losing  her,  she  said  :  "You  ought  to  rejoice  with  them  that 
do  rejoice."  And  when,  to  her  observation  that  the  morning 
was  bright  and  beautiful,  her  sister  replied  that  "  it  was  not 
so  to  her,"  she  returned  the  comforting  answer,  "I  feel  an 
assurance  that  you  will  be  sustained." 


1854.]  FAREWELLS.  581 

Lookinor  at  tlie  likeness  of  a  beloved  connection,  with  wliom 
slie  had  enjoyed  much  religious  intercourse,  and  "vvlio  had  died 
a  few  months  before,  she  thought  "  Uncle  would  be  glad  to 
see  her  come  to  Heaven." 

To  her  nephew  she  repeated — "  The  name  of  the  Lord  is 
a  strong  tower,  the  righteous  runneth  into  it  and  is  safe ;" 
and  presenting  him  with  a  rose-bud,  she  said :  "J7«s  name  is 
as  ointment  poured  forth." 

On  Sunday  she  sent  a  message  of  remembrance  and  exhor- 
tation to  the  colored  Sunday  School. 

Her  interest  in  the  spiritual  welfare  of  others  continued 
unabated.  To  her  nephew  she  said  :  "  I  am  glad  thee  has  a 
better  Friend  to  trust,  and  with  entire  confidence  I  can  leave 
thee  with  Him.  Say  to  thy  Sunday  School  scholars  that  1 
should  like  to  have  seen  them  all.  I  have  tried  to  pray  for 
them  every  day." 

In  the  afternoon  she  had  a  conversation  with ;  urged 

her  most  earnestly  to  seek  the  Saviour,  to  pray  that  fhe 
Holy  Spirit  would  convince  her  of  sin  —  described  the  broad 
and  dangerous  path,  and  spoke  of  the  narrow  way. 

On  Wednesday  she  had  a  very  consolatory  visit  from  her 
long-loved  friend,  Mrs.  J.,  and  conversed  with  her  with  much 
interest  on  the  doctrine  of  assurance. 

On  the  same  day,  the  author  enjoyed  the  mournful  satis- 
faction of  a  farewell  interview  with  one  whose  friendship  is 
among  his  treasured  recollections.  She  was,  at  first,  so  feeble 
as  not  to  be  able  to  speak  above  a  whisper,  but  seemed  to 
gain  strength  by  conversing  of  heavenly  things,  until  her 
voice  became  clear  and  audible.  She  requested  me  to  com- 
ment on  John  xvii.,  a  portion  of  Scripture  which  was  much 
in  her  mind  for  some  time  previous  to  her  departure.  The 
leave-taking  Avas  sweetly  solemn.  The  thought  that  upon 
earth  I  should  see  her  face  no  more,  that  there  was  to  be  an 
end  to  those  fervent  intercessions  and  to  those  welcome  effu- 
sions of  Christian  sympathy,  would  have  been  disheartening 

49* 


682  FAREWELLS.  [1854. 

and  sad,  but  for  the  manifestation  of  such  perfect  peace  and 
delightful  anticipation  in  the  chamber  so  soon  to  be  entered 
by  the  death-angel. 

On  Friday  she  had  an  interview  with  the  Rev,  Dr.  May. 
A  number  of  anxious  friends  were  gathered,  and  silently 
shared  the  impressive  and  sacred  influences  of  the  occasion. 
On  the  day  following  she  received  from  this  friend  a  note  full 
of  consolation,  which  thus  concludes:  — 

"  When  I  held  your  hand  yesterday  for  a  farewell,  it  was 
with  an  impression  that  I  shall  yet  again  see  your  face  in  the 
flesh.  You  forbid  me  to  wish  it,  for  you  long  to  put  off"  this 
tabernacle.  Now,  the  good  Lord  be  very  gracious  to  you. 
Let  Him  do  what  seemeth  Him  good.  Look  unto  Jesus ! 
Consider  Him  !  You  rest  on  a  living  Person,  an  Almighty 
Person,  not  on  a  dogma  or  a  fancy.  Trust  Him  in  all  your 
heart,  and  soul,  and  mind  and  strength." 

A  beloved  sister-in  law  visited  her  on  Saturday.  "  Whilst 
I  was  sitting  by  her,"  she  writes,  "it  was  evidently  so  pain- 
ful an  effort  for  dear  sister  to  speak  that  I  begged  her  not  to 
make  the  attempt.  Her  mind,  however,  as  it  ever  was, 
seemed  most  active,  and  at  intervals  her  thoughts  were  com- 
municated to  me.  She  inquired  respecting  a  young  lady  for 
whom,  she  told  me,  she  prayed  very  often.  '  Has  she  given 
her  heart  to  the  Saviour  yet  ?'  And  then,  '  Tell  her  I  am 
sorry  she  is  neither  safe  nor  happy,  and  that  she  will  find 
that  she  needs  something  very  real  when  she  comes  to  lie 
here.'  I  mentioned  that  E.  was  that  day  four  years  old. 
'Let  us  pray  for  her  now  quietly,'  she  said.  The  next 
Monday,  at  her  reqiiest,  I  carried  the  child  to  her  bedside, 
and  to  my  surprise  she  raised  herself,  put  her  arms  around 
her,  and  said,  in  a  perfectly  clear,  distinct  voice :  'Aunt  Sue 
wanted  to  kiss  her  dear  little  E.,  and  tell  her  how  happy  she 
is.'  She  said  to  mo  :  '  I  am  so  happy,  and  have  such  glo- 
rious prospects.     Do  not  think  of  me  with  sadness.'  " 

When  a  colored  servant  came,  on  Saturday,  to  announce  a 


1854.]      PATIENCE  IN  SUFFERING.         583 

visitor,  she  had  him  called  in  to  her,  thanked  him  for  his  kind- 
ness, and  spoke  to  him  of  her  Saviour's  love. 

On  Sunday  morning,  exceedingly  debilitated,  she  told  her 
sister  that  "she  had  but  one  kind  of  strength."  When 
scarcely  able  to  speak,  she  observed  to  W.,  after  receiving 
with  evident  pleasure  two  rose-buds  he  had  brought  her, 
"White  is  the  uniform  of  glory."  "  I  have  been  trying  to 
meditate  upon  the  63d  Psalm,  '  Because  thy  loving-kindness 
is  better  than  life,  my  lips  shall  praise  thee.'  "  After  a  short 
time  she  repeated,  "My  God  shall  supply  all  your  need 
through  the  riches  of  His  glory  by  Christ  Jesus."  She  spoke 
of  the  beauty  of  John  iv.  14,  "  Whosoever  drinketh  of  the 
water  that  I  shall  give  him  shall  never  thirst ;  but  the  water 
that  I  shall  give  him  shall  be  in  him  a  well  of  water  spring- 
ing up  into  everlasting  life." 

To  her  dear  S.'s  inquiry  she  answered  that  she  was  just 
alive,  but  happy  in  Jesus.  "I  think  it  a  mercy,"  she  said, 
"  that  I  am  preserved  from  fear  of  the  grave,  as  I  approach 
it  so  slowly." 

In  the  evening  she  repeated  to  her  sister  F.  the  passage, 
"  In  the  shadow  of  Thy  wings  will  I  make  my  refuge,  until 
these  calamities  be  overpast."  To  her  friend  E.,  "Lead  me 
to  the  Rock  that  is  higher  than  I."  And  to  a  sister,  enter- 
ing the  room  at  the  time,  "  In  the  Lord  have  I  righteousness 
and  strength."  In  the  selection  for  each,  there  was  a  striking 
appropriateness. 

On  Monday,  in  much  agony  of  body,  she  said  to  E.,  "I 
want  my  sufferings  to  be  a  blessing  to  thee ;  not  only  my 
death,  but  my  sufferings.  It  is  never  said  that  we  shall  not 
have  sorrow-and  tribulation,  but,  '  I  will  be  with  thee.'  Yes, 
we  will  pass  through  the  fire  and  the  water,  but  the  flame 
shall  not  kindle,  nor  the  waters  overflow.  If  God  were  not 
with  me,  it  could  not  be  borne.  My  God!  My  Saviour  !" 
After  a  pause,  "What  shall  separate  us?  Shall  sorrow? 
Shall  tribulation  ?     Nay  !" 


584  CONSOLATION.  [1854. 

Observing  the  distress  occasioned  to  others  by  her  death- 
like sickness,  she  expressed  her  regret,  and  said,  "I  am 
comforted  all  the  time."  "  There  is  no  sting  in  death  when 
Jesus  is  with  you,  none  at  all." 

To  an  aunt  she  said,  "  I  'm  almost  home.  Is  not  that  a 
delightful  prospect  ?" 

Expressed  the  hope  that  she  was  a  member  of  Christ's 
mystical  body,  and  added,  "I  know  I  am,"  with  a  tone  of 
confidence. 

To  an  expression  of  sympathy  for  her  sufferings,  she  re- 
sponded, "  The  Lord  is  very  pitiful." 

In  the  evening  she  received  a  comforting  visit  from  Bishop 
Potter,  and  listened  with  much  interest  to  his  conversation 
and  prayer. 

To  her  physician  she  confessed,  "  This  is  great  suffering ; 
a  mighty  struggle ;"  but  spoke  of  her  desire  that  the  will  of 
the  Lord  might  be  done,  adding  also,  "My  flesh  and  my 
heart  faileth,  but  God  is  the  strength  of  my  heart,  and  my 
portion  for  ever." 

When  informed  that  it  was  known  that  she  never  mur- 
mured, she  assured  her  sister  that  she  should,  if  she  were  not 
helped,  and  disclaimed  all  personal  merit.  She  seemed 
shocked  at  the  idea  of  any  one  giving  her  the  glory,  and  said, 
"It  would  be  the  worst  kind  of  robbery,  to  give  her  what  was 
due  to  God  alone."  She  repeated  the  last  lines  of  a  hymn 
given  her  by  Dr.  N. : 

"  The  wondrous  love  that  sought  thee, 

Shall  keep  thee  to  the  end  ; 
Shall  give  a  glorious  morrow, 

To  this,  thy  night  of  pain  ; 
And  make  thy  dews  of  sorrow 

Like  sunshine  after  rain." 

She  received  her  friends,-  often  merely  to  say  farewell,  and 
add  a  word  of  counsel  and  encouragement,  and  unite  in  their 
testimony  to  the  preciousness  of  the  Gospel. 

"Think,"  she  said  to  her  sister,  "of  my  many  blessings, 
good  nursing,  freedom  from  delirium,  peace  of  mind." 


1854.]  ON  Jordan's  brink.  585 

To  a  friend,  "I'm  on  Jordan's  brink,  waiting  for  permis- 
sion to  pass  over."  After  recovering  from  a  paroxysm  of 
suffering,   "I  feel  nothing  but  submission." 

Early  on  Tuesday  morning,  19th,  she  gazed  out  of  the 
window,  remarked  upon  the  beauty  of  the  morning  and  the 
loveliness  of  the  scene,  and  spoke  of  the  mercies  which  had 
been  heaped  upon  her  in  that  quiet  room.  "  Such  unre- 
mitted kindness  from  my  friends  !  My  Saviour's  presence  to 
cheer  me !" 

She  asked  Dr.  P.  if  he  had  ever  felt  such  a  pulse,  and  re- 
marked upon  having  been  before  near  death,  but  had  never 
felt  it  so  indelibly  stamped  upon  her. 

"I'm  very  happy,"  was  her  oft-repeated,  cheering  assur- 
ance. "  I  feel  that  Jesus  is  with  me.  I  have  no  strenffth, 
no  energy.  He  is  my  '  all  in  all.'  '  This  is  happiness  !  I 
am  going  to  my  Saviour,  my  precious  Saviour.'  '  Jesus  Christ 
hath  abolished  death,  and  brought  life  and  immortality  to 
light  through  the  Gospel.'  'Thanks  be  unto  God,  which 
giveth  us  the  victory  through  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ.'  'Is  it 
not  a  blessing,  in  approaching  the  grave  so  slowly,  to  have 
the  Saviour's  presence  always  ?'  " 

To  a  cousin,  who  was  much  overcome  by  witnessing  her 
sufferings,  she  said,  "I'm  very  happy.  It  seems  so  cheerful 
to  me.  Only  think  of  the  anticipations  of  so  many  years 
being  realized  I" 

Another  "spring  by  the  way"  was  granted  her  in  a  visit 
from  her  beloved  Pastor,  Dr.  Stevens.  She  spoke  to  him, 
also,  of  her  meditations  on  John  xvii. 

On  Wednesday  morning  she  said  to  the  nephew  who  had 
been,  for  so  many  years,  the  object  of  her  affectionate  con- 
cern, "  Stand  fast  in  the  Lord,  my  dearly  beloved.  There 
is  nothing  to  do  but  to  trust  in  Jesus.  It  is  a  finished  salva- 
tion. I  am  waiting  permission  to  cross  over,  but  my  friends 
wish  to  accompany  me  as  far  as  possible  into  the  stream." 

To  one  who  told  her,  "  they  would  not  know  what  to  do 


586  REMARKS.  [1854. 

without  lier  prayers."  she  replied,  "  There  ever  liveth  an 
Intercessor." 

Observing  her  physician  much  aflFected,  she  said  to  him, 
"Don't  be  sorrowful,  dear  Doctor.  Thee  has  done  every 
thing  to  comfort  me  and  alleviate  my  sufferings."  He  bade 
her  farewell  (supposing  it  to  be  the  last)  with  unusual  tender- 
ness of  manner.  With  a  look  of  delight  she  exclaimed, 
"Doctor,  thee  don't  expect  to  see  me  again."  When  he 
bowed  his  head  in  assent,  she  said,  "  The  Lord  bless  thee 
and  thine  for  Jesus'  sake  !  I  have  the  Saviour,  the  dear  pre- 
cious Saviour  with  me."  She  was  thought  to  whisper, 
"  Having  loved  His  own  which  were  in  the  world.  He  loved 
them  unto  the  end." 

To  the  friends  who  visited  her  she  still  addressed  beautiful 
and  impressive  remarks.  "  This  is  not  a  forsaken  death- 
bed," she  said,  "neither  by  earthly  friends,  nor  by  my  best 
Friend." 

To  the  Rev.  Dr.  Hare  she  spoke  with  much  animation,  and 
repeated  Bishop  Potter's  remarks  upon  the  importance  of 
realizing  the  personal  character  of  our  Saviour,  and  His 
sympathy  for  us- 

To  S.  L.  (the  young  disciple  previously  alluded  to,  who  so 
soon  followed  her  to  the  Kingdom)  she  said,  "  Draw  from 
Jesus.     He  will  never  leave  thee,  nor  forsake  thee." 

To  her  sister  she  gave  a  number  of  directions  and  mes- 
sages, and  requested  her  to  try  to  be  useful  to  the  young. 

To  her  nephew  she  whispered,  "No  bitterness  of  spirit 
here."  And  to  a  relative,  in  deep  affliction,  "  The  cup 
which  my  Father  hath  given  me,  shall  I  not  drink  it  ?" 

The  Rev.  Mr.  Drayton  visited  her.  At  this  time  she  re- 
spired with  much  difficulty,  and  explained  to  him  the  cause 
of  the  distressing  sound  occasioned  by  the  effort  to  breathe. 
She  conversed  with  him  on  the  theme  dear  to  both.  She  told 
him  that  twenty  years  ago  she  had  received  an  assurance  of 
acceptance,  and  it  did  not  fail  her  then. 


1854.]  THE    DEPARTURE.  587 

To  an  invalid  niece  she  sent  her  love,  and  said,  Tell  her 
"it  is  a  blessed  thing  to  have  an  anchor  to  the  soul." 

In  a  tone  of  touching  sympathy,  to  a  friend  taking  leave 
of  her,  she  said,  "Always  trust  in  the  widow's  God." 

"The  Lord  leads  me  very  gently,"  she  said  to  her  nephew. 

"  On  Friday,  about  5  A.  M.,  she  called  us  all  to  her," 
writes  her  sister,  "and  exclaimed,  with  a  beautiful  smile,  'I 
think  I  am  going.     Peace  !     I  must  go  to  Jesus  !'  " 

The  bright  smiles  which  her  loving,  cheerful  spirit  dis- 
pensed so  bountifully,  were  familiar  to  all  her  friends,  but 
the  unearthly  illumination  shed  upon  her  countenance,  as 
with  upraised  hands  she  seemed  to  gaze  upon  the  glories  of 
the  eternal  world,  comparatively  few  beheld. 

When  it  was  proposed  to  make  a  change  in  her  position, 
some  one  objected,  that  if  she  were  moved,  she  would  cer- 
tainly die.  "  I  think  I  am  dying  now,"  she  said  in  a  gentle, 
composed  manner. 

Even  in  life's  latest  hour,  not  unmindful  of  others,  she  said 
to  one  who  was  watching  her  with  tearful  emotion,  "  Seek 
Jesus  now;"  and  with  difficult  articulation,  but  thrilling 
solemnity,  she  repeated,  '■'' Now  is  the  accepted  time."  A 
few  hours  longer  she  lingered,  her  fluttering  pulse  watched 
by  her  nephew,  and  expressing  from  time  to  time  her  soul's 
desires.  ".I  long  to  go!"  "Come,  Lord  Jesus !"  "This 
is  a  trying  time  for  you  all,  but  it  is  the  Lord  !"  "Pray  that 
I  may  bear  this  sufiering  through  the  love  of  Jesus  !"  "If 
we  hope  for  that  we  see  not,  then  do  we  with  patience  wait 
for  it !" 

Just  before  noon  (on  Friday,  September  22d),  the  blood- 
washed  soul  of  Susan  AUibone  was  added  to  the  glorious  com- 
pany of  the  spirits  of  the  just  made  perfect.  The  long  strug- 
gle was  over ;  the  sore  strife  with  the  failing  flesh  ended ;  the 
laboring  breath  ceased ;  the  calm,  soft  impress  of  death  set- 
tled upon  the  features,  and  the  emancipated  soul  was  borne 
swiftly  upward  to  its  Saviour's  presence. 


588  THE     FUNERAL.  [1854. 

Five  of  those  who  watched  the  expiring  breath  had  been 
led,  through  her  instrumentality,  to  the  feet  of  Jesus.  All 
had  learned  holy  lessons  from  her  living  and  dying  example, 
but  no  audible  expression  of  indulged  grief,  no  selfish  forget- 
fulness  of  the  solemnity  of  the  scene,  interrupted  its  sacred 
silence.  Believers  were  witnessing  a  believing  soul's  entrance 
into  rest. 

Her  friends,  sympathizing  with  the  anguish  that  racked 
"  the  soul's  clay  cottage,"  would  have  desired  that  she  should 
have  been  spared  so  protracted  and  painful  a  struggle  with 
the  last  enemy.  But  her  Almighty  Friend  saw  good  to  make 
her  death,  as  well  as  her  life,  an  example  of  suffering  patience 
and  meek  submission.  To  the  last  she  was  a  monument  of 
the  sustaining  power  of  divine  grace,  that  "  the  trial  of  her 
faith,  being  much  more  precious  than  of  gold  that  perisheth, 
though  tried  with  fire,  might  be  found  unto  praise,  and  honor 
and  glory  at  the  appearing  of  Jesus  Christ  —  whom,  having 
not  seen,  she  loved  —  in  whom,  while  yet  she  saw  Him  not, 
yet  believing,  she  rejoiced  with  joy  unspeakable  and  full  of 
glory."     To  what  height  must  that  joy  now  have  soared  ! 

Monday,  September  25th,  was  a  day  of  much  solemnity  in 
Hamiltonville.  A  general  sentiment  of  regret  and  sorrow 
appeared  to  pervade  the  community.  All  felt  that  a  void 
had  been  made  that  could  scarce  be  filled  again,  and  that 
one  was  removed  from  their  midst,  who  was  not  only  a  bless- 
ing to  her  household  and  immediate  friends,  and  an  ornament 
to  her  own  communion,  but  whose  expansive  love  and  kindli- 
ness made  her  a  treasure  to  the  place  of  her  abode.  Chris- 
tians of  other  names  revered  her  example  and  lamented  her 
loss,  and  in  their  pulpits  heartfelt  tributes  were  paid  to  her 
memory.  Many  hundreds  assembled  to  unite  in  the  last  sad 
office  of  respect,  and  paused  to  gaze  upon  the  countenance 
once  so  luminous  with  varied  emotion,  still,  in  its  calm  re- 
pose, expressive  of  the  peace  which  passeth  understanding. 

The  coffin  was  borne  to  the  neighboring  church,  preceded 


1854.]  FUNERAL    ADDRESS.  589 

bj  a  large  number  of  the  clergy,  and  attended  by  numerous 
relatives  and  a  crowd  of  sincere  mourners,  who  filled  the 
house  to  overflowing.  After  the  reading  of  the  appointed 
Psalm  and  .Lesson,  and  the  singing  of  the  201st  Hymn, 
"Who  are  these  in  bright  array ?"  Bishop  Potter  delivered 
an  affecting  and  impressive  address.  He  alluded  to  the  pre- 
sent as  being  Jio  ordinary  occasion,  and  the  friend  whom  we 
mourned  as  one  who  had  made  no  ordinary  attainments  in 
the  Christian  life.  He  spoke  of  the  privilege  of  those  who 
had  been  permitted  to  cross  the  threshold  of  that  invalid 
chamber,  where  not  the  greatest  orator  and  statesman  of  our 
country  could  go,  without  being  reminded  that  there  were  higher 
honors  than  those  of  earth ;  and  where  ministers  and  people 
alike  stood  rebuked  by  the  purity,  watchfulness  and  zeal  of 
her  holy  example.  "We  mourn,"  he  said,  "to-day.  Here 
is  a  bereaved  and  mourning  family,  a  circle  of  mourning 
friends,  a  mourning  village,  a  mourning  church,  and  I  might 
say,  there  should  be  mourning  through  all  the  churches.  The 
prayers  of  the  good  are  powerful  with  God ;  and,  brethren, 
(turning  to  the  clergy  present),  is  it  nothing  to  you  to  have 
lost  the  prayers  of  this  sainted  one,  by  whom  you  were  daily, 
individually  remembered?  We  are  the  poorer  for  this  loss 
to-day,  and  each  shall  feel,  as  he  presses  forward  in  his 
labors,  that  the  voice  which  was  once  raised  to  heaven  in  his 
behalf,  shall  ascend  for  him  no  more. 

"  That  chamber  was  redolent  of  Christ.  How  many  a 
young,  careless  heart  was  there  first  awakened  to  a  sense  of 
sin,  and  there  first  bent  the  knee  in  prayer  for  pardon. 
There  the  lukewarm  Christian  was  warned,  and  the  hesi- 
tating encouraged.  The  weary  Minister  in  his  labors,  the 
Bishop  in  his  more  extended  sphere,  were  strengthened  and 
refreshed.  Truly  a  great  light  is  quenched.  0  may  a  sense 
of  the  loss  we  have  sustained  redouble  our  own  efforts  and 
prayers,  that  we  may  press  on  to  the  haven  of  rest  which 
she  hath  gained." 

50 


590  THE     RESTING-PLACE.  [1854. 

Leaving  the  sanctuary,  tlie  long  procession  sadly  pursued 
its  way  to  the  Woodlands  Cemetery,  to  deposit  the  precious 
remains  in  their  quiet  resting-place,  where  for  a  period  they 
must  repose.  The  sun  had  sunk  below  the  horizon,  and  a 
mellowed,  sober  light  fell  upon  the  mourning  group,  as  the 
funeral  service  was  completed  by  the  Eev.  Dr.  Stevens.  Sor- 
rowing, but  not  as  others  who  have  no  hope*,  we  witnessed 
the  consignment  of  our  sister's  body  to  the  ground,  "  earth 
to  earth,  ashes  to  ashes,  dust  to  dust,  looking  for  the  resur- 
rection of  the  dead,  and  the  life  of  the  world  to  come,  through 
our  Lord  Jesus  Christ."  And  with  much  power  and  soothing 
reality  sounded  iu  our  ears  "  the  voice  from  Heaven," 
"Blessed  are  the  dead  who  die  in  the  Lord,  from  hence- 
forth: even  so,  saith  the  Spirit;  for  they  rest  from  their 
labors." 

On  Sunday,  October  1st,  a  funeral  sermon,  illustrative  of 
her  life  and  character,  was  delivered  in  St.  Andrew's  Church, 
Philadelphia,  the  sanctuary  so  dear  to  her  heart,  by  the  Rec- 
tor, the  Rev.  Dr.  Stevens.  His  text  was  that  most  appro- 
priate passage,  Phil.  i.  20,  "  Christ  shall  be  magnified  in  my 
body,  whether  it  be  by  life  or  by  death."  This  discourse 
was  listened  to  with  the  deepest  interest,  and  has  since  been 
widely  circulated.  It  plainly  and  beautifully  exhibited  the 
marked  traits  of  Miss  Allibone's  character,  and  traced  all 
her  holiness,  usefulness  and  loveliness  to  Christ,  who  was  her 
life,  her  strength,  her  righteousness,  her  pattern,  her  all  in 
all. 

On  the  simple,  memorial  tablet  that  marks  her  grave  is 
inscribed  the  brief,  appropriate  epitaph  : 

''Died,  Sept.  22d,  1854, 

after  many  years^  illness,  during  which  she  was  sustained  hy  the 
assurance  that  she  was  'accepted  in  the  Beloved'  Her  testimony 
was,  '  Jesus  Christ  hath  abolished  death,  and  brought  life  and  im- 
mortality to  light  thi-ovgh  the  Gospel.  Thanks  he  unto  God  which 
giveth  us  the  victory  through  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ.' " 


1854.]  A    TRIBUTE    OF    AFFECTION.  691 

The  expressions  of  deep  interest  and  sympathy  awakened 
by  this  event,  received  by  her  family,  were  numerous  and 
touching.  Of  these,  one  is  selected  as  a  fitting  conclusion  to 
the  present  memoir,  penned  by  him  who  so  speedily  followed 
her  to  the  "rest  that  remaineth  for  the  people  of  God,"  the 
lamented  Robert  Smith : 

"And  now  she  is  gone.  I  will  not  express  sympathy  for 
others,  for  I  am  myself  one  of  the  most  sorely  bereaved.  She 
has,  you  well  know,  for  many  years  been  to  me  all  that  the 
most  devoted  sister  could  -be.  She  has  been  my  almost  only 
confidential  adviser.  She  first  urged  me  to  seek  salvation 
through  our  great  Redeemer.  She  counselled,  warned,  en- 
treated, prayed  for  and  with  me,  sympathized  in  all  my  joys 
and  sorrows,  some  of  which  laid  hold  of  the  very  foundations 
of  my  own  peace  —  wrote  to  me  with  her  own  pencil,  until 
nature  utterly  refused  any  longer  to  obey  the  mandates  of 
her  loving  heart.  Oh,  she  was  to  me  infinitely  more  than  I 
can  express  —  and  now  she  is  gone,  and  I  shall  see  her 
no  more.     I  have  no  word  of  consolation  for  you,  my  dear 

,  except  that  which   I  myself  seem  to  hear  from  the 

realms  whither  she  has  winged  her  eager  way,  and  where  she 
is  now  basking  in  the  sunlight  of  Him  whose  image  she  so 
beautifully  reflected  while  with  us.  My  consolation  is  this. 
She  is  at  rest  in  her  Redeemer's  bosom  —  her  warfare  is 
over — her  pilgrimage  is  ended — she  is  filled  with  the  fulness 
of  the  glory  of  God.  I  feel  that  the  only  human  prop  on 
which  I  have  been  leaning  is  removed  —  one  of  the  dearest 
objects  in  the  world  has  been  taken.  I  shall  hear  her  sweet 
voice  of  counsel  and  encouragement  no  more.  This  would 
weigh  heavily  upon  my  stricken  heart,  did  I  not  know  that 
the  loss  to  me  is  the  realization  of  the  intense  longings,  for 
so  many  years,  of  her  purified  spirit.  I  feel  that  I  am  more 
than  ever  a  stranger  and  pilgrim  on  the  earth,  and  that  all 
that  now  remains  for  me  is  to  fulfil  as  an  hireling  my  day, 


592  THANKSGIVING    AND    PRAYER.  [1854. 

and  then  join  our  beloved  one  in  that  world  where  unions 
ne'er  break.  Let  us  thank  our  God  for  her  triumphant  en- 
trance into  glory,  and  while  the  tear-drop  tells  to  strangers 
the  story  of  our  sorrow,  let  us,  more  closely  than  ever,  follow 
her  as  she  followed  Christ,  and  then,  like  her,  we  too,  through 
faith  and  patience,  shall  inherit  the  promises." 


Thanksgiving  and   Prayer. 

"  And  we  also  bless  Thy  holy  name  for  all  Thy  servants 
departed  this  life  in  Thy  faith  and* fear;  beseeching  Thee  to 
give  us  grace  so  to  follow  their  good  examples,  that  with  them 
we  may  be  partakers  of  Thy  Heavenly  Kingdom.  Grant 
this,  0  Father,  for  Jesus  Christ's  sake,  our  only  Mediator 
and  Advocate.     Amen." 


THE    END. 


Date  Due 

-^'-' "'"""' 

(f 

